9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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Valid article. The Pixel 6 case is an utter piece of shit. Literally started peeling, cracking just like in the article, yellowing, and separating after just 9 months.

https://t.co/zuX7GLXqa4 		Thursday, September 15, 2022 12:16:31 AMTwitter for Android
I was wondering why my Pixel kept activating in my pocket and it was this awful feature. I was sprocket dialing, turning the flashlight on...

Maybe it should use the proximity sensors to see if it's in your pocket? I feel like that broke about 6 months ago.

@madebygoogle 		Wednesday, September 14, 2022 12:50:56 PMTwitter for Android
OMG my infra code actually worked with convoluted IAM permissions. I haven't felt this good about myself since the last time I did mushrooms Friday, September 09, 2022 5:56:10 PMTwitter for Android
Imagine arranging your wife's death and then becoming the King of England Thursday, September 08, 2022 8:38:54 PMTwitter for Android
@notshenetworks The best advice for cops, summed up in this Instagram video: https://t.co/BScdqru7hC
In reply to @notshenetworks's tweet
Thursday, September 08, 2022 1:03:23 PMTwitter for Android
@ZobrosZ Bruh
In reply to @ZobrosZ's tweet
Saturday, September 03, 2022 1:45:53 AMTwitter for Android
Hey @wbd - you guys are greedy jackasses for fucking up @hbomax and cutting content left and right. The consumer loses. What a shame to gut quality content because of some merger and cutting costs. Sunday, August 28, 2022 3:52:08 PMTwitter for Android
@notshenetworks This video makes me sad because my office looks like a tornado went through it. I want to clean it and the mess makes me anxuous, but have no motivation to.
In reply to @notshenetworks's tweet
Sunday, August 28, 2022 8:36:18 AMTwitter for Android
$85/month for Spectrum 500 MBPS internet and they can eat a bag of dicks.

I should pay them half my bill for half the speed.

And don't say it's my wifi setup because at one point I was clocking 550mbps, so they have this shit throttled. Assholes https://t.co/eyB9lC8BCO 		Sunday, August 28, 2022 12:48:10 AMTwitter for Android
Get this mfer off my team. Tats are fine. Get them in the off-season you wife beating idiot.

https://t.co/X4QvVWQ4DL 		Saturday, August 27, 2022 11:45:21 PMTwitter for Android
@_sysengineer Gn Jef. Go to bed. It's past your bedtime
In reply to @_sysengineer's tweet
Saturday, August 27, 2022 11:19:14 PMTwitter for Android
These dumb Russian motherfuckers are burning $10 million in natural gas per day just so they don't have to send it to Europe.

1) Which is ruining the economy and people's lives and
2) is ruining the environment.

Putin is a gd fool.

https://t.co/B8RigAmVQ3 		Saturday, August 27, 2022 11:17:59 PMTwitter for Android
RT @M1SSTHIS: OLIVIA RODRIGO AND BILLY JOEL SINGING UPTOWN GIRL TOGETHER THE WORLD IS HEALING https://t.co/Dzn1NEq8HG Saturday, August 27, 2022 12:46:24 AMTwitter for Android
I'm getting TikTok vids of people telling stories about shitting their pants. So idk wtf their algorithm is insinuating over here... Friday, August 26, 2022 12:48:19 AMTwitter for Android
Slash the gd exports. I don't want to pay a million dollars to heat my home this winter when we could just keep the supply here instead and help out Americans, ya know? https://t.co/bTkvTd1gEA Thursday, August 25, 2022 8:45:56 PMTwitter for Android
My fucking central air condenser just broke Wednesday, August 24, 2022 9:41:34 PMTwitter for Android
What a fuckin dickhead

https://t.co/ELy3zUtUpQ 		Monday, August 22, 2022 10:52:00 PMTwitter for Android
I fucking love trolling people on Truth Social. People are so GD stupid it's not even funny. Saturday, August 20, 2022 1:03:51 AMTwitter for Android
OMG. The Pixel 6 fingerprint reader isn't a piece of shit anymore after Android 13. It actually works really well and fast. Gj @madebygoogle Friday, August 19, 2022 7:52:25 PMTwitter for Android
Webb telescope is fucked. Probably gonna run out of storage because of all the npm packages

https://t.co/qqtNA6PHcr 		Friday, August 19, 2022 12:51:53 AMTwitter for Android
@_sysengineer How's defcon. U r shenetworks right? https://t.co/9GSBMVHDAu
In reply to @_sysengineer's tweet
Monday, August 15, 2022 10:26:04 PMTwitter for Android
@_sysengineer Homelab ❤️
In reply to @_sysengineer's tweet
Monday, August 15, 2022 10:24:44 PMTwitter for Android
RT @motherboard: A 17-year-old girl and her mother have been charged with a series of felonies and misdemeanors after an apparent at-home a… Wednesday, August 10, 2022 8:17:15 AMTwitter for Android
@notshenetworks Don't tread on me! Wait...
In reply to @notshenetworks's tweet
Friday, August 05, 2022 12:50:37 AMTwitter for Android
@madebygoogle can you have the Assistant not respond to Google commercials on Hulu? I have a TV in the same room as my home mini, and when they say hey Google on TV, it triggers and it lowers my TV (Vizio) volume to 0. This is so annoying.

Doesn't anyone think of this?
In reply to @madebygoogle's tweet
Tuesday, August 02, 2022 10:51:08 PMTwitter for Android
DeSantis must take it straight in the ass and hate himself for it because I fail to see what the big fuss is watching a couple drag queens dancing around at brunch. No one is sexualizing children. If their parents are okay taking them who gives a shit.

https://t.co/7vdRd0C5zq 		Saturday, July 30, 2022 4:10:01 AMTwitter for Android
This mfer needs to stop trotting around the globe opening his dumbass mouth. Sir, you're butthurt that other countries think we're backwards? Maybe it's because we're backwards you gd hack

https://t.co/DbzpJCOcMb 		Saturday, July 30, 2022 3:57:49 AMTwitter for Android
Lol what a little wimpy ass bitch. What's the matter Clarence. Not able to take criticism of students telling you you're a hypocritical bitch? Eat a dick

https://t.co/ebEWmFEwL7 		Thursday, July 28, 2022 9:41:27 AMTwitter for Android
The @instagram algorithm is complete bullshit. I see more ads and random bullshit from strangers than I see my followers posts. Stop trying to be TikTok, I just want a place I can see what my friends are up to Monday, July 25, 2022 10:27:23 PMTwitter for Android
@_sysengineer I'm sorry you're going through that. You shouldn't be shamed for doing what you like to do. My people irl don't want to talk about tech either so it's cool to have a place online for all that.
In reply to @_sysengineer's tweet
Saturday, July 23, 2022 10:54:48 PMTwitter for Android
@notshenetworks I literally just said this the other day! It's all ads and viral videos. That's what TikTok is for. I liked when I'd be able to see what friends were up to when Instagram was simple
In reply to @notshenetworks's tweet
Thursday, July 21, 2022 9:37:23 PMTwitter for Android
Get a load of this creepy ass motherfucker. A disgrace to society. Looks absolutely miserable. Choke on a bag of dicks, Clarence https://t.co/wwlZbNSVfr Wednesday, July 20, 2022 11:42:35 PMTwitter for Android
@AGJeffLandry This is dumb asf. You're a joke.
In reply to @AGJeffLandry's tweet
Monday, July 18, 2022 10:48:05 PMTwitter for Android
And here's another dumb asshole bitch mfer @AGJeffLandry

https://t.co/zLk5eFM3Dz 		Monday, July 18, 2022 10:46:45 PMTwitter for Android
What a self-loathing, closeted, weasely looking, bumblefuck backwards hick. Don't tread on their rights bro. For real. Go eat some pavement. https://t.co/VgLoiY8qx2 Monday, July 18, 2022 6:30:17 AMTwitter for Android
I was put into Twitter jail for this and now I'm reposting it because the man can eat a dick. https://t.co/1Bzx2vG3DF Sunday, July 17, 2022 1:52:02 PMTwitter for Android
They need to release more Webb telescope pics so I can eat a ton of mushrooms and literally understand the universe Friday, July 15, 2022 8:18:45 PMTwitter for Android
Society peaked Thursday, July 14, 2022 11:53:01 PMTwitter for Android
"there's strong public interest"

No there isn't. How about it's none of your fucking business. This should be a decision between women (+ parents if they're minors) and their healthcare providers. NO ONE ELSE
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, July 14, 2022 11:05:12 PMTwitter for Android
Sir. @ToddRokitaIN Are you fucking kidding me right now? You're going after the doctor? Stop this bullshit immediately. You are trying to sue a doctor for providing healthcare access THE KID COULDN'T GET AT HOME. This poor child is traumatized and you're making this all political https://t.co/K93PM4WSw7 Thursday, July 14, 2022 11:00:03 PMTwitter for Android
This is absolutely sick. Bumfuck Indiana is GOING AFTER THE DOCTOR. Are you fucking kidding me right now. https://t.co/9NsNSfwGYD Thursday, July 14, 2022 10:46:09 PMTwitter for Android
Struggling against the Cincinnati Reds. A gd disgrace. Cancel the postseason, because how are the Yankees supposed to beat the Astros if they play like shit against the second worst team in MLB 🖕 Thursday, July 14, 2022 10:30:11 PMTwitter for Android
F'in Zuckerberg, man. I'm trying to see my friends' Insta pics and they turned the app into TikTok. Wednesday, July 13, 2022 2:55:27 AMTwitter for Android
@EngineerJusti Windows, bone in and Red Bull are all correct. I'm indifferent about Coke/Pepsi. Windows has to be in light mode except for VS Code. But dark mode on my phone.
In reply to @EngineerJusti's tweet
Wednesday, July 13, 2022 1:51:25 AMTwitter for Android
@BarstoolHubbs If the Yankees don't sweep the reds and win by like 50 runs, cancel the season
In reply to @BarstoolHubbs's tweet
Tuesday, July 12, 2022 10:12:26 PMTwitter for Android
I don't want to pay the fucking port Authority of NY NJ $66 to go over a god damn bridge. Cocksuckers. I had a shit enough day as it is Tuesday, July 12, 2022 9:07:59 PMTwitter for Android
Oh for fucks sake. The Port Authority of NY/NJ can go eat a bag of dicks. $66 to go over the fuckin George Washington Bridge because I thought the cocksuckers billed you by mail. But it's backwards shit and they take cash.

I used to give the MTA shit, but they bill you by mail 		Tuesday, July 12, 2022 9:04:12 PMTwitter for Android
I need to see if there are any "Eat a dick SCOTUS" tshirts on Prime Day special today Tuesday, July 12, 2022 8:16:08 PMTwitter for Android
JFC Aroldis Chapman. Get this fuckin wife beater off my team. We did just fine without him. First day back and he blows it. Goodbye
https://t.co/I9GrZI5A2Z 		Sunday, July 10, 2022 10:57:50 PMTwitter for Android
How about Cameron Diaz running drugs from France to Morocco in the 90s? This article is lol. She didn't have work for a year except carrying a locked suitcase with her "costumes" in it. Seems legit

https://t.co/DDd8SxQFmp 		Sunday, July 10, 2022 9:38:55 PMTwitter for Android
@_sysengineer I can't believe it still targets .NET 2.0. You really have to try hard to get that kind of legacy stuff working on modern Windows Server OSes
In reply to @_sysengineer's tweet
Saturday, July 09, 2022 9:08:24 PMTwitter for Android
@_sysengineer Oh ffs. I love how I thought I was being original about the SharePoint list and literally a bunch of other people beat me to it
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, July 09, 2022 9:05:15 PMTwitter for Android
@_sysengineer I was going to say. I thought it was made in house in the 90s.

Also, tell me the storage backend is a SharePoint list without telling me it's a SharePoint list
In reply to @_sysengineer's tweet
Saturday, July 09, 2022 9:04:20 PMTwitter for Android
Hey Mortons Steakhouse: eat a dick, trying to say Brett Kavanaugh should eat in peace. Nah. I say fuck him, let him get heckled. But Mr. wimp boy had to sneak out the back door. Good, bitch, I hope your life is a living hell Saturday, July 09, 2022 9:57:17 AMTwitter for Android
Hmmm.... You don't say 🤔🤔🤔 https://t.co/CKfPWE3nH9 Friday, July 08, 2022 12:24:15 AMTwitter for Android
Lily Allen and Olivia Rodrigo calling out the 6 Supreme Court justices by name and saying "we hate you" at Glastonbury literally made my nipples so hard Tuesday, July 05, 2022 11:06:10 AMTwitter for Android
Oh wow. The actor who played Vecna IRL is an actual psychopath https://t.co/0bWWmpFiB4 Tuesday, July 05, 2022 7:29:04 AMTwitter for Android
@_sysengineer This sounds like some kind of Ohio bs. Lol
In reply to @_sysengineer's tweet
Monday, July 04, 2022 7:42:45 PMTwitter for Android
People like this are exactly what's wrong with America. https://t.co/nR0G5gBCxJ Monday, July 04, 2022 5:09:28 PMTwitter for Android
Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary https://t.co/aKff4Z0MbW Monday, July 04, 2022 4:00:40 PMTwitter for Android
Fly your flags upside down this weekend because America sucks! Friday, July 01, 2022 11:50:34 AMTwitter for Android
Supreme Court: "We don't give a shit about women's bodies, the environment or Native Americans"

This court sucks a fat one. (3 of the justices are coo though) 		Thursday, June 30, 2022 12:45:49 PMTwitter for Android
In the US that'd be like a $8000 bill
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, June 30, 2022 8:44:00 AMTwitter for Android
I would have been like deal with it bitch it's Christmas and you're not crying. How bad can it be. Then they had to get x-rays. For a bump that literally was nothing. Fuck outta hea
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, June 30, 2022 8:43:26 AMTwitter for Android
Rant #2 about why Peppa Pig is a stupid ass show and pisses me off.

Peppa bumped her arm on Christmas (gentler than Giuliani was patted on the back) and they called the doctor who responded lights and sirens and then told her to go to the ER where she skipped the entire wait 		Thursday, June 30, 2022 8:42:27 AMTwitter for Android
I got to a Mobil station with a new fancy touch screen pump and it was like "this is cool" until it decided to blast obnoxiously loud music right in my ears and ruin the peace while fueling. Fuck is this point of that?

@exxonmobil https://t.co/wxEbIgaB3i 		Wednesday, June 29, 2022 1:53:05 PMTwitter for Android
@notshenetworks @Stardusttracker 🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗
In reply to @notshenetworks's tweet
Sunday, June 26, 2022 1:38:30 AMTwitter for Android
Trump cultists on Truth Social are so GD stupid they don't even recognize my blatant sarcasm on my troll account and actually think I'm praising the guy when I'm basically saying he's a joke Sunday, June 26, 2022 1:05:02 AMTwitter for Android
What's a nice way to say a dev is a dumb motherfucker and his PR is trash for hard coding a password into our git repo in plain text, and not taking into account multiple environments Thursday, June 23, 2022 5:38:05 AMTwitter for Android
This is D. folliculorum. It's a skin mite and they live on most human faces. They're 1/3mm long and have a dick https://t.co/YQ2tXOQUvi Wednesday, June 22, 2022 8:35:39 PMTwitter for Android
Whoever held these cops back should be killed by firing squad https://t.co/MTL5IMwahB Tuesday, June 21, 2022 8:58:08 PMTwitter for Android
"Esthetic nightmare" ...
says the dickhead who named two of his kids X Æ A-12 and Exa Dark Sideræl

Because he/him/she/her/the/them are weirder than X Æ A-12. You absolute whack job https://t.co/OrYmQSKaaY 		Tuesday, June 21, 2022 3:00:02 PMTwitter for Android
With this win, the Yankees will have the exact same record they had on this day in 1998 Friday, June 17, 2022 10:00:44 PMTwitter for Android
I will never understand how tf people actually live in Texas, Arizona or anywhere south where it's anywhere over 85-90 all the time Wednesday, June 15, 2022 11:59:57 PMTwitter for Android
This gd heat wave. I used 80 kWh of electric in one gd dam for f's sake. I usually use 12-20 per day Wednesday, June 15, 2022 11:54:33 PMTwitter for Android
Society peaked. Prove me wrong. We're all on our way to hell Wednesday, June 15, 2022 1:05:49 AMTwitter for Android
I stg I thought this was an Onion article.

Horsey cuntface @RepMTG literally thinks trans people are causing tampon shortages because they're putting them in men's bathrooms. Are you fucking serious with this shit?

Also, this quote is lol https://t.co/yQTIEpC6Ur 		Wednesday, June 15, 2022 1:03:55 AMTwitter for Android
@EngineerJusti Idk if margs work with Red Bull tho
In reply to @EngineerJusti's tweet
Sunday, June 12, 2022 6:57:46 PMTwitter for Android
Demon rat dogs vs real dogs https://t.co/RQpmHpFdrE Tuesday, June 07, 2022 8:09:30 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 At beach:
Me: "please put your hat on"
Little: "no, it'll blow away"
I put it on her, it blows away 30 seconds later
"Dad, I told you so"

I'm doomed
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Sunday, June 05, 2022 11:10:36 PMTwitter for Android
Untrained teachers with concealed handguns will surely stop a madman with an ar-15 you goddamn fool @GovMikeDeWine

https://t.co/c4pzcQImVP 		Friday, June 03, 2022 2:47:29 AMTwitter for Android
@notshenetworks No but they tried some sort of antihistamine for me. All it did was make me tired
In reply to @notshenetworks's tweet
Thursday, June 02, 2022 11:24:49 PMTwitter for Android
@notshenetworks These idiots have to protect the fetus at all costs but the hell with the babies, amirite?
In reply to @notshenetworks's tweet
Thursday, June 02, 2022 4:56:40 PMTwitter for Android
Do not fucking open this by any means. Are they outside their minds? This is the worst idea of all time. You don't know wtf is living in there. We're all liable to go extinct. We haven't even made it past Covid, and now there's monkeypox and mystery hepatitis. https://t.co/CBpMJWVijt Tuesday, May 31, 2022 12:53:45 AMTwitter for Android
How about all these blue lives matter motherfuckers... You have these pansy ass cops who are too scared to do their jobs. What good are they for? Seriously. What good are they for? They murder innocent black people and then sit there and do nothing while a madman kills kids Friday, May 27, 2022 9:22:55 PMTwitter for Android
Oh are my tweets too harsh? I had enough of this shit. I have a baby girl I'm trying to raise in this shithole country Tuesday, May 24, 2022 7:52:03 PMTwitter for Android
A tree fell on him? Since he is a staunch supporter of mass assault weapons, it's a real shame he wasn't paralyzed by a crazy with an ar-15

https://t.co/Kk99cIONfI 		Tuesday, May 24, 2022 7:51:00 PMTwitter for Android
Wow. You have to be a real sick fuck to do a mass shooting at an elementary school. And the assailant was shot and killed? That's too easy. He should be slow tortured for years. Then fed foot first through a wood chipper Tuesday, May 24, 2022 7:48:59 PMTwitter for Android
Maybe don't be idiots and go back to daily case reporting? @OHdeptofhealth

https://t.co/b1BmcjiLBA 		Tuesday, May 24, 2022 12:37:53 PMTwitter for Android
Ok I'm officially over this Depp/Heard trial. Why tf was a woman with a baby allowed to be inside the courtroom watching the trial? For shits and giggles? What is this crap? This is literally all publicity nonsense

https://t.co/OdCbMhLA3m 		Tuesday, May 24, 2022 12:31:21 PMTwitter for Android
@notshenetworks @tiktok_us A Chinese owned company is censoring your ethical hacking videos? How could that even be possible? </sarcasm>

Either way, sorry that you're spending time on good content only for it to be taken down. That's bs.
In reply to @notshenetworks's tweet
Tuesday, May 24, 2022 4:32:10 AMTwitter for Android
First time in my life I was ever the first one off the plane. Wild stuff Sunday, May 22, 2022 5:17:46 PMTwitter for Android
Big pharma can take their antidepressants and shove them. We should all just do shrooms 🍄 https://t.co/GGVCeyRb0f Sunday, May 22, 2022 4:58:09 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin cats man. They're trying to kill us all (or at least blind us)

https://t.co/4waxIfDIn7 		Sunday, May 22, 2022 1:54:01 PMTwitter for Android
What makes this fancy? It should be illegal to call any ketchup in a plastic packet fancy. It's disposable. It's corn syrup bro. Nothing fancy about that https://t.co/U2U1EU0cZ4 Friday, May 20, 2022 11:09:11 PMTwitter for Android
Chapman stinks. Ffs Tuesday, May 17, 2022 10:11:19 PMTwitter for Android
@BarstoolHubbs Give the man a contract
In reply to @BarstoolHubbs's tweet
Tuesday, May 17, 2022 7:59:28 PMTwitter for Android
@nanwhaley FirstEnergy obviously had to pay for Householder's gastric bypass
In reply to @nanwhaley's tweet
Monday, May 16, 2022 8:27:45 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ Severino. I turn the game in and your line is 0/0/0 and then you give up a homemade and a walk.

I need to stop watching this shit. I'm bad luck 		Monday, May 16, 2022 8:26:31 PMTwitter for Android
Lol Russia sucks at life

https://t.co/m3DKz4ojHf 		Monday, May 16, 2022 12:55:57 AMTwitter for Android