9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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| Tweet | Date | Source |
|---|---|---|
| Good. @AjitPaiFCC can eat a dick California net neutrality bill that AT&T hates is coming to New York, too https://t.co/opvoHxLaTL | Tuesday, May 01, 2018 10:13:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| There's only one solution to this. Canada must force the US to build a border wall! https://t.co/mit7EvKFUv | Saturday, April 28, 2018 6:07:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I want a cheeseburger | Friday, April 27, 2018 11:59:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Rachet. Rachet is a better word In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Tuesday, April 24, 2018 9:13:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Betances stinks | Tuesday, April 24, 2018 8:56:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This bird bitch is savage af https://t.co/pAtQcp1rlJ | Tuesday, April 24, 2018 7:22:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 I love free, clean energy! | Tuesday, April 24, 2018 5:06:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ain't no way this show is for real. My favorite is the bimbo "nurse" who wanted to splint and send a dude to orthopedics for a fractured penis. And I turned it off In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Monday, April 23, 2018 6:50:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm watching "Sex Sent me to the ER" because it's free on Prime and 1) It's as bad as I thought 2) I need to reevaluate my life | Monday, April 23, 2018 6:45:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Oh shit they were hustling for money. | Saturday, April 21, 2018 5:40:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| There's a kid riding three stacked unicycles in a parking lot without a helmet and I'm so nervous you guys. | Saturday, April 21, 2018 5:36:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hey @AjitPaiFCC nice pick you fuckin crooked bastard. Resign. https://t.co/D0opMnjwTX | Tuesday, April 17, 2018 8:36:22 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Ok, we've gotta being back Pop Up Video. Stat. | Friday, April 13, 2018 9:33:35 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Just slid into the wife's DMs. We have to keep up with the young millennial trends so we're not seen as being old af | Friday, April 13, 2018 9:19:31 AM | Twitter for Android |
| "@pandoramusic knows where the clit is" -@MalJNew | Thursday, April 12, 2018 7:50:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The Yankees stink | Tuesday, April 10, 2018 9:29:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @AjitPaiFCC is a cunt | Saturday, April 07, 2018 8:03:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines | Saturday, April 07, 2018 6:46:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm not very sober rn jussayin. Not at all | Saturday, April 07, 2018 6:13:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I mean I guess the dicks are fine but whoever โค๏ธs meth? Not a good look. Real bad look. https://t.co/AO3K7Y103d | Saturday, April 07, 2018 5:51:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo someone hook me up with tickets to the Ja Rule/Ashanti show? | Saturday, April 07, 2018 4:08:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The fuck is wrong with Netflix for cancelling Everything Sucks after one season? That show was SO good. But there's two seasons of the absolute garbage show Haters Back Off with some YouTube moron. "Quality" original content. | Saturday, April 07, 2018 3:37:18 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @realDonaldTrump Coal is garbage dunce In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet | Friday, April 06, 2018 6:15:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hey @realDonaldTrump you stupid idiot. You suppisedly went to Wharton? Idk about you but DSB told me that international trade was important. Your trade wars are crashing all my stocks ya fuckin buffoon. | Friday, April 06, 2018 6:13:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| With the exception of the food, this entire city can go fuck itself | Friday, April 06, 2018 5:32:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Makes me laugh when things say "unleaded fuel only." It's 2018, who the fuck puts lead in gas anymore | Friday, April 06, 2018 5:02:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Place sux https://t.co/J6z2CcMlUC | Friday, April 06, 2018 3:25:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| rm -rf ya_ugly_face | Friday, April 06, 2018 2:50:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Lol, the USA, formerly the greatest country in the world, has a president that pays off porn stars he banged to shut up and crashes global economies by starting infantile trade wars. Hillary's emails tho ๐ | Friday, April 06, 2018 1:22:40 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Hey MTA, let's move the train out of the station already. It's not a parking lot. | Thursday, April 05, 2018 7:03:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| #thefuckingsubway | Wednesday, April 04, 2018 9:54:03 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Omg I was talking about my Luna dog, duh | Tuesday, April 03, 2018 10:11:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My girl is too civilized and mannerly to pee on tiny tree patches or sidewalks | Tuesday, April 03, 2018 10:10:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| There is zero grass in Astoria. Zero. Cero. She has no ass clue where to pee and poo | Tuesday, April 03, 2018 10:09:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| See, in my older age, idgaf as much about drinking, but they don't have Papaya Dog or dollar pizza in Ohio doe. So jussayin. #getnycfoodinmybelly | Monday, April 02, 2018 10:29:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Why do morons shit in the stall right next to you when there's an open buffer stall available. #fuckssake | Monday, April 02, 2018 12:48:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus Christ, CC | Saturday, March 31, 2018 4:25:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hey @realDonaldTrump, will you stop being a dumb motherfucker about foreign trade wars. You're making my stock crash you dipshit | Saturday, March 24, 2018 12:21:52 AM | Twitter for Android |
| You guys! I heard that @VP has a gay bunny and I could not be happier for him! | Friday, March 23, 2018 10:11:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 It's either an iPhone or the Pixel 2. Nothing else. If you can wait until the fall, Pixel 3 or next iPhone. But a Pixel 2 is my favorite and will still be pretty future proof. And has a boss camera. You'll just need to deal without iMessage. | Saturday, March 17, 2018 3:14:00 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Nest's algorithm to give you a leaf is SO full of shit. They reward you leaves for leaving your house and auto-setting your HVAC to eco mode, but the days I ran the least heat, I didn't get a leaf? Wat? https://t.co/uaCxHhKsWZ | Saturday, March 17, 2018 3:11:40 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @LatestAnonNews @AjitPaiFCC @BrendanCarrFCC @mikeofcc U guys punish them yet? In reply to @LatestAnonNews's tweet | Friday, March 09, 2018 12:28:19 AM | Twitter for Android |
| https://t.co/aO5Q1m0zqY In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Friday, March 09, 2018 12:24:52 AM | Twitter for Android |
| See, this is why Giuliani had them killed instead. It prevented this entire mess from happening in the first place: https://t.co/WfkiLg0vG7 | Friday, March 09, 2018 12:21:28 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Wild "Tattoo You: Immune System Cells Help Keep Ink In Its Place" https://t.co/Zxv5Glf4Kz #science #feedly | Thursday, March 08, 2018 11:59:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Idiotic bastards https://t.co/YOsopl8L0r | Wednesday, March 07, 2018 9:28:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Test | Monday, March 05, 2018 11:04:08 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @NWSBoston But @realDonaldTrump doesn't think global warming is real tho In reply to @NWSBoston's tweet | Saturday, March 03, 2018 12:52:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo @APrecourt you greedy sellout jagoff. #savethecrew https://t.co/ricSPPUmHi | Tuesday, February 27, 2018 10:00:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I just took a shot of lemoncello and Jesus f'in Christ that wasn't supposed to be a shot. It was a sippy drink. #babbfest | Saturday, February 24, 2018 10:00:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @mikeofcc @FCC Your decisions are harmful to consumers. | Saturday, February 24, 2018 1:46:54 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @BrendanCarrFCC Does it cost an extra $24.99 per month to access any non Sinclair content? In reply to @BrendanCarrFCC's tweet | Saturday, February 24, 2018 1:43:29 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Like is this a dream? Please let this be an Onion article In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Friday, February 23, 2018 11:05:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck every single part of this story. I hope @AjitPaiFCC dies by firing squad. Fuck him and fuck the NRA. https://t.co/dd4j2Ksu2f | Friday, February 23, 2018 10:59:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| What do you think Sisqรณ looks like now? | Friday, February 23, 2018 10:29:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @AjitPaiFCC smells | Wednesday, February 21, 2018 9:05:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 Blasphemy! According to this (unverified) Twitter account, I'm the only Dr. Joe. | Wednesday, February 21, 2018 8:58:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| So the crazy Russian bastards were accused of doping during curling. How does one do PEDs for curling? Like does it make you scrub the ice harder or some shit? | Tuesday, February 20, 2018 9:03:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Manageengine Service Desk Plus is absolute dog shit software... | Friday, February 16, 2018 1:00:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Is it just me, or is Elon Musk a cocky douche launching a Tesla into space? I mean it's a cool technological feat, but fuckssake, all that money could have helped elsewhere. | Wednesday, February 07, 2018 2:26:28 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Philly is a trash city with trash people | Sunday, February 04, 2018 7:01:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dumb motherfucker https://t.co/crI1Lz3ZK7 | Monday, January 22, 2018 8:02:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| She also blew coke up her butthole. Not my style but not judging In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Saturday, January 20, 2018 2:24:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I mean.. I know it's totally different, but Stevie Nicks once said that if she was doing a duet with a dude, she was doing that dude. So valid question. In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Saturday, January 20, 2018 2:23:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Do you think Fat Joe and Ashanti ever banged? | Saturday, January 20, 2018 2:19:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fat Joe and Ashanti ftw. I'm back in the early 2000s like it's my job #8thgradebostontrip | Saturday, January 20, 2018 1:59:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| U got it bad just came on at this bottomless Brunch I'm at and OMG, what a prime jam. If you're not singing with it, you're a fool. | Saturday, January 20, 2018 1:05:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Your* autocorrect In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Sunday, January 14, 2018 10:11:05 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Wifey was getting real nervous the more powerslides I wanted to do in the snow | Saturday, January 13, 2018 10:07:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| La Bouche is gonna be in Columbus and if you don't think I'll be at that show, you're out you're mind | Saturday, January 13, 2018 9:32:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm doing a 90s power hour and I've got one takeaway... We've gotta get Carson Daily to host a power hour | Saturday, January 13, 2018 9:28:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @AjitPaiFCC @MIC_JAPAN @kb2474 Hey shithead. Japan's internet is better than ours you shill ass bitch. You ruined it In reply to @AjitPaiFCC's tweet | Friday, January 05, 2018 12:25:05 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Dumbass @AjitPaiFCC not going to CES because he's a goddamn pussy | Wednesday, January 03, 2018 7:31:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dude fuck bourbon St. It's like fuckin times square. You gotta go to the dives. My boy Dave's here all the time | Tuesday, January 02, 2018 11:13:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "your eyes are like multiples" - wifey | Tuesday, January 02, 2018 10:57:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| #theresnocryinginbaseball #noteverychildsawinner | Tuesday, January 02, 2018 10:37:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm drinking at Dave Grohl's fav bar in NOLA so blow me | Tuesday, January 02, 2018 8:35:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Idk wtf that tweet shit was about https://t.co/ZEa9prcphn | Friday, December 29, 2017 11:00:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| B. .nc,,chf.x๐ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐บ๐ฆ๐ฎ(+_+)=_=Here's The Most Damning Report Yet On Why The New York City Subway Is Terrible https://t.co/hbogvYLWZQ | Friday, December 29, 2017 10:59:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| They're trying to make me eat food but I don't want food. Food's for the sobers | Friday, December 29, 2017 4:52:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Rihanna fucks | Friday, December 29, 2017 3:54:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| You guys. The bands covering Petty and I'm borderline emotional because he legit wanted to retire from touring to hang out with his granddaughter after his tour this year #RIP | Friday, December 29, 2017 2:41:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Naw'lins motherfuckersssss | Friday, December 29, 2017 2:21:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "tears of the dead soul of the children of the damned" is what is in my drink, according to the bartender who I can't tell if he's joking or not, said he does crack rock. I picked the right dive bar... | Thursday, December 28, 2017 11:45:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I think I'm bringing this account back on the grounds that I'm going to have to report on all the debauchery. Wedding/ New Year weekend in New Orleans. | Thursday, December 28, 2017 4:20:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| There are a bunch of farting frat bros on this plane behind me | Thursday, December 28, 2017 4:15:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Waited in the security line with the poors. Didn't realize my ticket had tsa pre check. #fail | Thursday, December 28, 2017 3:49:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @AjitPaiFCC This is rude. You are the worst human being ever. Explain yourself https://t.co/PVeOueK0Vn | Saturday, December 16, 2017 1:31:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| We've got a bunch of middle aged Jersey housewife cougs at the bar who are trying to take home all the young guys | Friday, December 15, 2017 12:11:08 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm dead. Actually dead. I'm still hammered | Thursday, December 14, 2017 8:12:46 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Twitter banned me from naughty words and they can blow me. Fuck you @AjitPaiFCC https://t.co/UAB2cbfOwo | Thursday, December 14, 2017 1:00:57 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @exjon @AjitPaiFCC @USATODAY No one likes you, ya piece of shit corporate shill | Thursday, December 14, 2017 12:45:11 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Sry not sry. Had to brag about my DSB experience to the suits | Wednesday, December 13, 2017 10:15:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I hate bars with restroom attendiants. This place had a shitty sink sensor and I called the guy out on it and he called me back out for not using it right #blowme | Wednesday, December 13, 2017 8:54:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @AjitPaiFCC die | Wednesday, December 13, 2017 8:43:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pony just came on at the work party so players gon' fuck tonight | Wednesday, December 13, 2017 8:40:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This Twitter account is garbage. It spreads negativity, hatred and makes me a toxic person. No one needs that. Spread love. I'm out. | Saturday, September 16, 2017 3:49:20 AM | Twitter for Android |
| You guys STINK. Samsung just released a security patch to a 2014 S5 and my phone hasn't been patched since 12/2016 https://t.co/H3Ne1nhxQH | Thursday, September 14, 2017 11:29:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MotorolaUS Also, they never uodate anything. Phone's vulnerable af to hacks. In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Thursday, September 14, 2017 11:26:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MotorolaUS Anne, you're probably coo, but your idiot designers should have put a USB C port instead. The phone stinks. It didn't hold up 2 years In reply to @MotorolaUS's tweet | Thursday, September 14, 2017 11:25:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @BarstoolHubbs They'll never lose again In reply to @BarstoolHubbs's tweet | Thursday, September 14, 2017 11:10:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Indians are never gonna lose again | Thursday, September 14, 2017 11:06:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| At a Van Morrison show and that player is dapper af. Sparkly striped suit and green bowtie. F'in a! | Thursday, September 14, 2017 9:21:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Suck a dick Motorola https://t.co/Luf4SVQH0x | Thursday, September 14, 2017 4:47:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm at this place Two Bits in Nashville and these tater tots fuck | Thursday, September 14, 2017 4:46:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Skype you guys are silly. I can't open this protocol on Android https://t.co/CDJ3MPBMcX | Thursday, September 14, 2017 3:31:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @lenovo @MotorolaUS Too busy making 500 new models than to support older phones? Eat a dick, I'm getting a Pixel. In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Thursday, September 14, 2017 12:14:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @lenovo @MotorolaUS Way to update it too, assholes. Last security patch was 12/2016 and the OS is two years old. Fuck off In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Thursday, September 14, 2017 12:12:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @lenovo @MotorolaUS What kind of piece of shit phone breaks all my charging cables after 2 weeks? They legit work everywhere else except my phone and "break" In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Thursday, September 14, 2017 12:10:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @lenovo @MotorolaUS Hey @MotorolaUS you know what October 4th is? The day I get to buy a Pixel 2 and get rid of this piece of shit Moto X Pure 2015 In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Thursday, September 14, 2017 12:08:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I am about to go on an all out rampage against @lenovo / @MotorolaUS | Thursday, September 14, 2017 12:07:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Rockies Actually, Twitter stores uploaded gifs as mp4 videos. | Sunday, September 10, 2017 12:07:23 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @Equifax @Equifax stinks | Saturday, September 09, 2017 1:40:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bob Johnson 615 39 3321 https://t.co/1Z8a6mrK6L | Saturday, September 09, 2017 12:36:32 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My Lyft smells like pizza and now I want pizza except Columbus pizza sucks | Saturday, September 09, 2017 12:06:06 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Hey @Ticketmaster... Blow me | Friday, September 08, 2017 8:36:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's 9:35 PM and for fucks sake I already forgot to close my tab at the bar | Thursday, September 07, 2017 9:39:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wifey's just a tad salty because the pup would rather snuggle on my lap instead of hers. | Tuesday, September 05, 2017 10:22:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The po po are out in full force this weekend https://t.co/whi7uvsE87 | Sunday, September 03, 2017 12:33:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I cracked my back like a hundred times and it's sexxxxxxxx | Friday, September 01, 2017 2:22:12 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo @RealMichaelKay way to jinx CC. | Thursday, August 31, 2017 8:07:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My phone battery stinks. Literally dies in 4 hours of mixed use. Donde esta @madebygoogle Pixel 2? | Thursday, August 31, 2017 6:55:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This is absurd. Put the judge and the plaintiffs through a wood chipper for this nonsense: https://t.co/A3YKT2jpGn | Thursday, August 31, 2017 6:53:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Did Twitter flag me for going on a rampage against Vizio? Doubtful. Got the warning RIGHT after telling the fcc chairman and AT&T to f off | Thursday, August 31, 2017 2:40:41 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Welp, I was just placed on the Twitter abuser's list. https://t.co/e7C9rz4bWd | Thursday, August 31, 2017 2:32:58 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck @ATT and that sellout prick @AjitPaiFCC https://t.co/PIbTTHNnYg | Thursday, August 31, 2017 2:29:07 AM | Twitter for Android |
| "My boss broke a bottle of Crown Royale. But she strained the broken glass out and now we have it in a plastic cup written on in sharpie" | Wednesday, August 30, 2017 11:07:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| When the Sox sweep the Yanks, I will officially cuncel da season | Wednesday, August 30, 2017 9:39:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My job sucks 12 cocks | Wednesday, August 30, 2017 8:36:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The Yankees STINK | Monday, August 28, 2017 9:41:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Nobody knows how many errors have been committed | Sunday, August 27, 2017 1:44:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wow. The Mariners are legit booting the ball around like little Leaguers. I was that bad in the field. Holy moly | Sunday, August 27, 2017 1:42:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The Mariners stink | Sunday, August 27, 2017 1:39:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Also clarifying... I drank the whole bottle https://t.co/zXPsTRaETl | Sunday, August 27, 2017 1:38:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This is very true. Drank a bottle of it before heading to a Buffett show in 2016 with @RockNationRadio https://t.co/sF75mLY33M | Sunday, August 27, 2017 1:37:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Welp, I just made Luna cry because I played a video of moms and she got excited but she's not back yet | Sunday, August 27, 2017 1:59:42 AM | Twitter for Android |
| What a shit call. He was safe af.oh who am I kidding Yanks can't score with risp. Cuncel. | Friday, August 25, 2017 10:59:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @BarstoolHubbs Send him to the sun In reply to @BarstoolHubbs's tweet | Friday, August 25, 2017 10:56:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus Christ, Chapman. Send him to the sun | Friday, August 25, 2017 10:47:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus Christ, CC | Friday, August 25, 2017 8:07:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| These silly players week Yankee uniforms look absurd | Friday, August 25, 2017 8:05:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ya know what... It's all bullshit and it's all bad for you... Corporations don't give a shit about your health. Just go about and enjoy. | Friday, August 25, 2017 12:29:22 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I just watched What The Health and 1) I'm never eating anything again 2) EVERYTHING causes cancer | Friday, August 25, 2017 12:10:52 AM | Twitter for Android |
| El Gary on absolute fire flames ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ Absolutely dirty with risp rn | Wednesday, August 23, 2017 7:47:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm drunk and my phones at like 5% and I have to go through like 5 layovers so I'll be back in CBus at like 12am u guys. | Monday, August 21, 2017 5:41:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| But like, i do https://t.co/pP2x1h4Rpr | Monday, August 21, 2017 5:36:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I have like 65 rips in my shorts and I'm drunk and going through airport security and I don't have anything to hide you guys | Monday, August 21, 2017 5:36:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Have I told you guys that my life is dope and I do dope shit? Also, New England clam chowdahh fucks | Saturday, August 19, 2017 3:35:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My phone stinks | Saturday, August 19, 2017 3:30:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hey @moto @lenovo your inept assed Moto X 2015 can't even run the fuckin @Uber app without freezing. Cunts https://t.co/xDTZVM67Ga | Saturday, August 19, 2017 12:16:28 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Oh I need this shit bad https://t.co/Htc9Mhllh4 | Saturday, August 19, 2017 12:03:15 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I just bumped into this old hag barback by accident in Portland Maine and I apologized and she still flipped me off. | Saturday, August 19, 2017 12:02:29 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Put Chapman on suicide watch | Friday, August 18, 2017 11:23:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cuncel da Chapman | Friday, August 18, 2017 11:07:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Actually wasn't too bad. And no I'm not in airplane mode. https://t.co/y2BLzg1hQe | Friday, August 18, 2017 2:27:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Shit person. Shit plane. Shit airport. https://t.co/ZZgcTrJTke | Friday, August 18, 2017 2:26:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's been 10 minutes already in the slums of @LGAairport and we've traveled a whopping 40 feet outside the gate https://t.co/y2BLzgiSHM | Friday, August 18, 2017 2:16:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| How long do you think we will wait in line for a free runway for takeoff here at inept @LGAairport | Friday, August 18, 2017 2:08:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Heard my delay was because third world shithole @LGAairport didn't have enough hangars and they couldn't do the maintenance out in the rain | Friday, August 18, 2017 2:04:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I've just upgraded myself to Comfort+ on my own without asking. Suck it Delta | Friday, August 18, 2017 2:01:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This greasy, nasty tasting pizza Delta gave us for free b/c of 5 hr delay was so vile, I washed my hands 3 times and still smell rancid oils | Friday, August 18, 2017 1:47:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| They literally lost our plane. The plane is missing. LaGuardia is as third world as it gets. | Friday, August 18, 2017 12:18:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Why is there no recycling in Terminal C of garbage dump @LGAairport ? | Friday, August 18, 2017 12:01:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Why am I saying dude so much? | Friday, August 18, 2017 12:24:07 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Dude. I don't miss standing in this fuckin sewer waiting for a broken down metal box. | Friday, August 18, 2017 12:17:30 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Dude it's like hot as fuckin sac in this subway. It's like 108 in this Subway. Not used to this grime shit anymore | Friday, August 18, 2017 12:15:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuckin New York. My tab sucks cocks https://t.co/KCAg7khnbF | Thursday, August 17, 2017 11:59:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wifey's already breaking glasses at the bar | Thursday, August 17, 2017 10:35:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| That feeling when the Mets get swept by the Yankees https://t.co/0T485Wlt1r | Thursday, August 17, 2017 10:32:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Philly cheesesteaks from Wood & Ales in NYC fuck | Thursday, August 17, 2017 9:57:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I don't give a fuck about Philly Technician Jamaal. Comcast sux. @AjitPaiFCC sucks, Philly sucks. Stop showing up as an ad in my timeline https://t.co/u81dKbJd95 | Thursday, August 17, 2017 9:25:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mothafuckin El Gary with a bomb off the Little league Mets | Thursday, August 17, 2017 7:23:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| You guys. It's gonna happen tonight. I'm gonna get really drunk and play bananaphone on the jukebox at the bar | Thursday, August 17, 2017 6:40:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hard at work, with my dirty assed kicks all over their grillmix https://t.co/G7mseOXyv8 | Thursday, August 17, 2017 3:43:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pretty plausible prediction from July 2016... The dumb motherfucker https://t.co/OerUsPZZOn | Wednesday, August 16, 2017 10:03:17 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Steel drums fuck | Tuesday, August 15, 2017 10:02:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Verizon LTE still sucks 12 cocks at Jones Beach. Fucks sake guys | Tuesday, August 15, 2017 7:22:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus Christ, @VZWSupport fix Jones Beach. https://t.co/jFhRZlys0G | Tuesday, August 15, 2017 3:22:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wow Verizon wireless speeds suck balls at Jones Beach rn. Come on | Tuesday, August 15, 2017 3:09:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Joe how about ya leave my boy @DRob30 in. Ya overanalyze the stats and go by the book and you'll get Chapman blowing another one | Monday, August 14, 2017 9:51:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Also, whoever abandoned this sweet girl needs to be fed feet first through a wood chipper https://t.co/REIGhFlTLj | Monday, August 14, 2017 9:25:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Guys I made a huge mistake. I read this article and now I'm bawling https://t.co/sgslt5ICAY | Monday, August 14, 2017 9:22:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @KFCBarstool Yo Clancy how's Judge doing? In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet | Monday, August 14, 2017 9:05:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @BarstoolHubbs: Fuck OUTTA here with these Mets Yankees stat comparisons. Don't compare them to that disgusting/rat-smelling scum of a fโฆ | Monday, August 14, 2017 8:26:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Welcome to shithole LaGuardia... Rather than taxiing to the gate, we've parked the plane and are being gassed out by jet fuel. | Monday, August 14, 2017 9:02:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Thank you to the bachelor party group for giving me my new favorite mob nickname: Joey Jorts | Sunday, August 13, 2017 8:58:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The second we crossed the border from Kentucky into Cincinnati, an incredible stench entered the car. Like worse than Jersey | Sunday, August 13, 2017 8:21:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo @waze love your app, but it's buggy af on Android. I had to force close it 5 times and restart the nav because it kept freezing. Wtf: https://t.co/6b0FkQogct | Sunday, August 13, 2017 4:45:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Front desk just called us on a noise complaint because we dragged a body on a futon from one room to another. That body was Bob passed out | Sunday, August 13, 2017 3:22:14 AM | Twitter for Android |
| There's a guy in the clurb with a beater on. Dafuq is this...? me? | Sunday, August 13, 2017 1:03:25 AM | Twitter for Android |
| At a bachelor party with my boys in NC and I'm being as gay as possible at this club bc that state hates the gays which is bs. | Sunday, August 13, 2017 12:25:07 AM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @DadBoner: Your religion and skin color don't matter. All that matters is if you bleed red, white, & blue and believe in peaceful freedoโฆ | Saturday, August 12, 2017 11:39:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Fantasy_Mania I will pour one out for you guys and eat some sausage and peppers in ol' North Caroline' In reply to @Fantasy_Mania's tweet | Saturday, August 12, 2017 11:43:39 AM | Twitter for Android |
| It's 8:53 am and I'm fuckin hammered right now. Fuckin Bob's moonshine... | Saturday, August 12, 2017 8:54:01 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I feel like absolute death rn | Saturday, August 12, 2017 8:45:27 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I forgot I tweeted this like two seconds ago https://t.co/FZbnOfALRC | Saturday, August 12, 2017 8:40:22 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Well shit. I'm hungover af and this isn't ideal | Saturday, August 12, 2017 8:39:53 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Well shit... Now I'm hungover as fuck | Saturday, August 12, 2017 8:37:59 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I mean, I suck balls at drinking and normally can't go hard. But if you ever think I'm the first to go to bed at a bachelor party, you're bs | Saturday, August 12, 2017 1:32:46 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I've never really done coke but I've got a guy passed out rn who said he's been on a 3 week coke bender. Liar. Get the fuck awake dude. | Saturday, August 12, 2017 1:31:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Goddamn it. It's 1:30 am and people are passed out already. It's a bachelor party. Stop being a buncha fuckin pussies | Saturday, August 12, 2017 1:29:50 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Every time I go to a bachelor party I end up with a new nickname. First it was Jorge. Now it's Smooth J | Saturday, August 12, 2017 12:02:46 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm already assigned as a driver at this bachelor party because half the guys have their licenses suspended. #degenerates | Friday, August 11, 2017 10:57:33 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Omg Brett. | Saturday, August 05, 2017 9:59:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Todd Frazier! Holy smokes. That was some Scott Brosius shit right there | Saturday, August 05, 2017 9:19:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I had a couple drinks you guys and was singing to my dog and was so happy because she liked it and wagged her tail. Now I'm bawling. | Saturday, August 05, 2017 3:30:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cuncel this game. Cuncel the fireworks | Friday, August 04, 2017 9:51:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I see the Yanks have runners in scoring position again. Which means they won't get them in... 0- a million with risp this past week | Friday, August 04, 2017 9:06:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Oh come onnnn. I screamed all rise at a kid in a judge's wig at the Jake and he ignored me. | Friday, August 04, 2017 6:30:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Santa Claus over here with the baseball bat cane... This guy fucks https://t.co/YCwJrB78Te | Friday, August 04, 2017 6:15:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yanks/Indians ALCS 2017. Mark my words. | Friday, August 04, 2017 6:10:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| These $2 Miller lites taste like asshole. Bad batch. I'm sticking to hot dogs | Friday, August 04, 2017 5:53:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Onion hot dog girl is such a sluttttt https://t.co/1sC1IT9pQw | Friday, August 04, 2017 5:52:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I might drop a deuce at the Jake tonight | Friday, August 04, 2017 5:48:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hey @instagram I'm drinking a the Jake and accidentally dm videoed a stranger and now I can't add them to my story. Lame | Friday, August 04, 2017 5:46:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Son of a bitch. I'm such an old millennial. I just took two insta stories of me eating a hot dog and accidently directed them to strangers | Friday, August 04, 2017 5:33:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Well that's some bullshit they open them for you. Now I can't shotgun https://t.co/9w0JkuLqiS | Friday, August 04, 2017 5:12:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's $2 beer cans at the Jake and it's gonna get real sloppy. | Friday, August 04, 2017 5:02:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| There's a gentleman wearing Chief Wahoo earrings, and he's a baller | Friday, August 04, 2017 4:57:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The security guard gentleman just welcomed us all to Progressive Field and I was like bullshit, it's the Jake | Friday, August 04, 2017 4:55:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @jiaaro Read an article that you can get hacked in the 20 seconds between when you connect to the WiFi and when you connect to the VPN | Friday, August 04, 2017 4:45:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm at the Jake and there are a billion Judge jerseys here, you guys https://t.co/1WnF7Edl0Q | Friday, August 04, 2017 4:38:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Oh wait I'm not even on call anymore. It's just that this Putin-loving dickhead missed his alerts | Wednesday, August 02, 2017 2:47:54 AM | Twitter for Android |
| On top of shit leadership and Azure being a cunt. Get lawst. I hate this place | Wednesday, August 02, 2017 2:33:26 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I got woken up for server alerts every goddamn night of my on call this this week. This fucking piece of shit platform... | Wednesday, August 02, 2017 2:32:51 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Sabathia stinks | Tuesday, August 01, 2017 7:54:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus Christ, CC | Tuesday, August 01, 2017 7:35:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Indians are on TV and my boy @a_miller48 just came in. I called him my homeskillet and Mal just told me I was in middle school. | Tuesday, July 25, 2017 10:06:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's taco Tuesday. I already had too many house margs,โ and I just spilled salsa on my dick area (to quote the Biebs) | Tuesday, July 25, 2017 9:57:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I want a cheeseburger | Sunday, July 23, 2017 1:13:38 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Out at a show and wifey's all like "You're grabbing my ass a lot tonight" No kidding. You want me to grab other girls' asses? | Sunday, July 23, 2017 12:18:07 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I called it. I said Judge was hitting one to the moon. Next pitch. Dinger. | Friday, July 21, 2017 11:38:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wife stole her friend's phone and is Tindering and doesn't know her left from right | Friday, July 21, 2017 10:20:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My cousin went to a Michelle Branch concert a couple days ago in Seattle and I'm like still jelly. | Friday, July 21, 2017 6:47:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm gonna go be wreckless so like. Bottoms up I don't get arrested or some shit. Good day. | Wednesday, July 19, 2017 10:54:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Everything's a fucking disaster | Wednesday, July 19, 2017 9:22:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| So can I mute GoT tweets? | Sunday, July 16, 2017 9:44:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| $30 Uber home because the wife decided to drink all day long instead of not drinking all day long and picking me up instead ๐๐ | Sunday, July 16, 2017 9:43:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Airplane mode is a myth made up by people who don't understand physics. If it were really that dangerous, they'd make us check our phones. | Sunday, July 16, 2017 7:42:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I didn't expect him to pop off like I usually do. I'm a cray. He looks like a gentlemanly suit type. | Sunday, July 16, 2017 7:41:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| And we're both still not in airplane mode. Relax guys, everything will be fine. https://t.co/JyDXmm5C53 | Sunday, July 16, 2017 7:40:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| A+ move by the guy next to me who told the flight attendant to shut the fuck up under his breath when she was bitching about airplane mode. | Sunday, July 16, 2017 7:39:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Game of Thrones is so overly hyped and mainstream, that I refuse to watch it. I don't care about dragons and magic. Never saw it. Never will | Sunday, July 16, 2017 7:24:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Also, eat a dick if you're taking up seats with like the outlets but aren't using them. Sit in the non outlet seats | Sunday, July 16, 2017 7:00:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Delta doesn't have enough seats with power outlets at Logan ๐ | Sunday, July 16, 2017 6:58:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| You guys. I was wearing a beater as a joke all day yesterday and now I have white trash tan lines. | Sunday, July 16, 2017 8:55:36 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Welp. Wore the beater as a joke all day and now I've got beater tan lines. Fml | Sunday, July 16, 2017 2:26:56 AM | Twitter for Android |
| What will happen first? @MotorolaUS suck it, I'm getting a pixel next. Way to keep your shit updated assholes | Sunday, July 16, 2017 2:17:48 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Welp. It's been an absolute awesome week on the road but I'm ready to head home and see my girlies @MalJNew and Luna! | Sunday, July 16, 2017 1:53:54 AM | Twitter for Android |
| This is a dick pahhhty | Saturday, July 15, 2017 11:57:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
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