9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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| Tweet | Date | Source |
|---|---|---|
| Fuck this shit.. we need to ban glypohosate NOW https://t.co/h5T6GwWgkU | Saturday, March 23, 2019 4:51:17 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The fucking IRS didn't waste any time taking my damn money. I scheduled a payment for Monday, 3/25 and they drafted it from my account RIGHT NOW. At 2:30 AM on a Saturday #eatadick | Saturday, March 23, 2019 2:42:08 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I mean... I won't hurt or neglect them... They're helpless rodents... But if they vanished, I'd be better off In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Friday, March 22, 2019 2:23:41 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I need to take a shower because I stink of that theater bitch's perfume - just from being in the seat next to her | Friday, March 22, 2019 1:02:30 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I didn't sign to for this shit In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Friday, March 22, 2019 1:00:13 AM | Twitter for Android |
| If I wasn't around, the place would look like Tobacco Road, and as the dedicated housekeeper, I don't have time or patience for these rats to stink up an entire room of the house and require a 20 min cage cleaning each week In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Friday, March 22, 2019 12:59:23 AM | Twitter for Android |
| These guinea pigs the wife impulse purchased in 2015 really need to kick the bucket soon on the grounds that they're a pain in the ass to take care of and I have more imoirtant priorities | Friday, March 22, 2019 12:56:11 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My NY asshole-ness came out real hard. Ruthless. Bet this Miss Piggy looking bitch won't be wearing perfume in public again after hearing my mouth run In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Thursday, March 21, 2019 9:16:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Absolute savage. Just took a leak and the urinal cake smells better. For fucks sake In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Thursday, March 21, 2019 9:12:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This lady next to me smells like striaght up HOOKER In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Thursday, March 21, 2019 9:11:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| They should make it legal to shoot a person who wears 5 gallons of perfume to a Broadway show | Thursday, March 21, 2019 9:11:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 @GovNedLamont Metro North stinks. The highways stinks. It all stinks. | Thursday, March 21, 2019 6:59:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Welp, there goes the fuckin bracket... | Thursday, March 21, 2019 6:59:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Graphic: Protip: Don't feed dog dark leafy, stringy, greens... You will end up pulling it out of their butt because said leaf gets stuck | Tuesday, March 19, 2019 2:41:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| EPA KEEPS REMOVING ENVIRONMENTAL REGULATIONS AND YOU ARE PROMOTING FOSSIL FUELS YOU GOD DAMN IGNORAMUS. Top of what list? https://t.co/esDdgwE02B | Sunday, March 17, 2019 1:45:24 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @XtinaSchelin Check the rev checker tooltips In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet | Sunday, March 17, 2019 1:35:14 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Carbon monoxide you dumb shit... It's like going to sleep. Problem solved. @MikeDeWine DeWine not sure Ohio can come up with a constitutional execution method https://t.co/ET96xeb3EB | Sunday, March 17, 2019 1:34:27 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @Android are you guys serious with Android Q's ugly ass black notch cutout in screenshots? Fix that shit before it gets released | Saturday, March 16, 2019 8:29:32 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 I'm on the abusers list. They're watching me | Monday, March 11, 2019 7:49:00 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 Beeb will have to listen to 311 instead. Should arrive later today! | Monday, March 11, 2019 6:41:10 AM | Twitter for Android |
| It is impossible to make the @Microsoft @surface Book sleep. If you breathe on the damn thing wrong, it wakes up again. Sleep mode never works. What a waste of energy. Have to power it off and just deal with a cold boot every time. | Friday, March 08, 2019 2:13:00 AM | Twitter for Android |
| An old white politician who actually is making some sense! Rare. https://t.co/4bth07eUaH | Thursday, March 07, 2019 12:50:59 AM | Twitter for Android |
| πππ https://t.co/gCfalKSlP3 | Tuesday, March 05, 2019 3:24:16 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @jimmatherly Y U HATE THE GAYS? JESUS SAYS LOVE THY NEIGHBOR. | Friday, March 01, 2019 8:38:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm going to give @Ask_Spectrum a backhanded compliment, because no one tweets at them when things are good. Service has been fantastic lately. 117/14 consistently. For $65.99/month, it better be be perfect. | Wednesday, February 27, 2019 1:58:35 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Heartrate* I can spell In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Monday, February 25, 2019 5:02:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fitbit stopped tracking my heatbrate yesterday. Guess I died. https://t.co/68SxdIP9ux | Monday, February 25, 2019 4:25:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @realDonaldTrump Remove the tariffs you stupid asshole. All the shit I bought from China on Amazon in August is now $5-15 more per item. In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet | Sunday, February 24, 2019 7:27:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| While it's true you can't... Err shouldn't... create money out of thin air, we need some fresher representation... Old stuck ups set in their ways have gotta go... https://t.co/xevR5LWa9E | Sunday, February 24, 2019 1:39:32 AM | Twitter for Android |
| So how many of these cops were under cover getting rub and tugs to "investigate" these massage places and do a sting operation? https://t.co/QUH6RyoC9r | Sunday, February 24, 2019 1:10:06 AM | Twitter for Android |
| There's an Alexa, Google Home and my TV remote has a mic that you allegedly activate, that reports to Bixby. These are spies. For the Russians! The government! In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Sunday, February 24, 2019 1:07:06 AM | Twitter for Android |
| They know I do not agree with the establishment and are spying on me. In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Sunday, February 24, 2019 1:03:08 AM | Twitter for Android |
| For real though. My battery has been dying super quickly recently. They're lying to you that batteries degrade over time. Real reason it's dying quickly is because the mic is active 100% of the time and it's doing AI to profile us and show targeted ads. In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Sunday, February 24, 2019 12:54:11 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The man is listening In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Sunday, February 24, 2019 12:51:40 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Actually, I PROMISE I never searched for this thing ever... So why am I getting ads on it? Where's my tin foil hat? BRB, I'm quitting all technology and living off the grid in the middle of nowhere, New Hampshire. In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Sunday, February 24, 2019 12:51:05 AM | Twitter for Android |
| This should he illegal! Punishable by death! This is SO creepy. I never even heard of this ad network. How the hell did they do that? For serious? In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Sunday, February 24, 2019 12:48:08 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Cue the conspiracy theories! 100000% spying going on. Dark magic. What's the over/under they are recording my mic and doing AI on the fly. There's no other way I can be having a human conversation, with my phone present and then seeing ads based on my conversation! In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Sunday, February 24, 2019 12:47:06 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Mantis Ad Network wtf... I was talking about an obscure topic in the car... Didn't search it online... And I'm seeing ads for it on websites now. Wtffff | Sunday, February 24, 2019 12:42:59 AM | Twitter for Android |
| This is an example of an old white ignoramus fuck who needs to leave politics. Can't have his hatred around anymore In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Sunday, February 24, 2019 12:17:57 AM | Twitter for Android |
| This guy is so full of shit. Translation: "I don't like the gays. Oh shit my daughter called me out. Oops it was a mistake! I love the gays. Jeebus told me to love thy neighbor" https://t.co/dNgiz6TDR7 | Sunday, February 24, 2019 12:17:01 AM | Twitter for Android |
| You're a bunch of morons @EPA @realDonaldTrump https://t.co/juHMaFhTJE | Monday, February 18, 2019 2:03:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Disgusting https://t.co/sKWcESRqVU | Monday, February 18, 2019 2:01:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My dad was at one of these MSG shows in '77. What a time to be alive! https://t.co/KGmoK0jQQt | Monday, February 11, 2019 1:50:34 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The @epa is a dumpster fire organization. Seriously, fuck off. You're supposed to protect us from things that make us sick, idiots. https://t.co/6cQ8Tnp48y | Friday, February 08, 2019 3:34:58 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Honestly don't even care if this subsidy exists or not because it doesn't affect me but FUCK Ajit Pai. I hope he never gets what he wants because he's a jagoff fuckface In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Monday, February 04, 2019 6:54:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Eat a dick, @AjitPaiFCC!!! https://t.co/adezsamqkR | Monday, February 04, 2019 6:51:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Sounds like stellar parenting advice https://t.co/oomCfDe3am | Sunday, February 03, 2019 10:55:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Get a load of this hick assed motherfucker. This is a professor at an institution if higher learning? GET LAWST. What an ignoramus. Should have let the south secede... https://t.co/pRCHgh0uyI | Sunday, February 03, 2019 12:41:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Shocking. I assumed Trump and Fox News were racists who defended this kind of behavior. Bet he wouldn't have given a shit if the VA governor wasnt a Democrat tho https://t.co/2IX9EOnDdy | Sunday, February 03, 2019 2:26:44 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Lololololololololol @NYCTSubway https://t.co/A1dAF3LvmV | Thursday, January 31, 2019 1:52:42 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Climate and weather are two different things you jagoff ignoramus https://t.co/Y1jDVxfa4I | Wednesday, January 30, 2019 11:09:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Get your kids vaccinated, you stupid fucks. What if your dumbass antivaxxer ways killed a sick, innocent cancer patient with no immune system? Washington is under a state of emergency as measles cases rise @CNN https://t.co/o1MgH8qUOm | Saturday, January 26, 2019 10:58:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hey @AjitPaiFCC: you're a goddamn asshole Sorry, Ajit: Comcast lowered cable investment despite net neutrality repeal https://t.co/dap1ha1NYH | Saturday, January 26, 2019 10:35:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I hope the fucks doing this electrocute themselves https://t.co/wFAdlF15Y9 via @Teslarati | Saturday, January 26, 2019 7:21:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Doesn't even have a security stripe in it. Everyone is going to think I'm passing around bad bills. And what if it is fake. Do I just lose $100? In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Friday, January 25, 2019 7:19:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @BankofAmerica one of your ATMs gave me a $100 bill from 1977. You have some nerve putting these in there. Pull them out of circulation. Everyone thinks they're fake. I couldn't even deposit it back because it thought it was fake. | Friday, January 25, 2019 7:18:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Get this old white asshole out of my state https://t.co/WYUpxnWnjf | Wednesday, January 23, 2019 8:27:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The moon was great tonight | Monday, January 21, 2019 2:51:39 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Peple have had enough with that shithole. Only problem is, ya can't get a decent slice of pizza elsewhere https://t.co/dddsCAeqdc | Saturday, January 19, 2019 3:26:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| By all means, get this fuckin guy off the Yankees https://t.co/b3mflrdWqq | Saturday, January 19, 2019 1:37:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Now I know why old people can't be bothered with this shit In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Thursday, January 17, 2019 1:50:47 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I spent an ungodly am amount of money on fuckin LED Christmas lights and now that I'm putting them away, half the sets half light up. Fucking pieces of shit | Thursday, January 17, 2019 1:45:42 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @AjitPaiFCC YOU ARE NOT DOING YOUR JOB, SIR. THE FCC IS NOT SHUT DOWN. YOU ARE A MISERABLE FAILURE CORPORATE SHILL https://t.co/HUpNpNWjRp | Tuesday, January 15, 2019 9:55:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @BrendanCarrFCC Dude tries to destroy the internet and expects to get honored?! Get lost In reply to @BrendanCarrFCC's tweet | Tuesday, January 08, 2019 3:11:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I never heard of a Peloton before but all of a sudden it's all the rage. I think it's dumb af. So you have to pay like $2000 for a bike AND a monthly fee? | Thursday, January 03, 2019 10:18:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| What a fuckin jagoff @AjitPaiFCC https://t.co/BXlf52LwiC | Wednesday, January 02, 2019 5:30:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm the fuckin worst at beer pong. Legit hit 2 cups all 2019. Well. I have 17 years to practice before been okays. Gotta be a cool pops | Tuesday, January 01, 2019 3:18:31 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I've walked "not a number" miles today! @internetofshit https://t.co/TO7jclm4mF | Monday, December 31, 2018 10:09:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bunch of fucking morons over at the @epa. The EPA is in favor of giving people cancer. #eatadick https://t.co/IXiZxcMO1e | Saturday, December 29, 2018 11:20:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Shame on @WebMD's dumpster fire website. They must detect if you have an adblocker and continually aggressively try to load ads. Ublock stopped 700 of them on one page in 2 minutes and they keep trying to load more! Froze my entire browser | Thursday, December 27, 2018 8:44:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The new @googlechrome UI looks like hideous asshole, and they removed the flag to use the old UI. | Thursday, December 27, 2018 5:31:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Google AI is whack. What part of wishing each other Merry Christmas warrants a happy birthday reply? Frosty? https://t.co/80WH3u5jmV | Tuesday, December 25, 2018 12:15:32 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Hey @netflix how do I turn this crap off? https://t.co/F3Gf42uSKA | Saturday, December 15, 2018 11:02:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @marygayscanlon thank you! https://t.co/SEriGwFjmv In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Thursday, December 13, 2018 9:29:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Shame on you for campaigning for Net Neutrality here: https://t.co/1dy3BCijkK And then deleting that page after getting paid by ISPs. Money talks. Shit walks. You are CROOKED In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Wednesday, December 12, 2018 1:19:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bunch of dumb motherfuckers over at the @EPA relaxing coal regulations. Fuck coal, that's some 1800s shit. Can we promote greener energy in 2018 for fucks sake? | Sunday, December 09, 2018 10:17:08 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The fuck wants to open new coal plants? What a bunch of dumb bastards. It's almost 2019. That's some 1800s shit https://t.co/YsUaFJmdQU | Thursday, December 06, 2018 9:44:40 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @AjitPaiFCC you're a goddamn fraud. Eat a dick | Tuesday, December 04, 2018 12:39:00 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm over here watching Jersey Shore Reunion with my parents and my mom's calling Vinny a wimp because Angelina wants a pounding and he won't bang her #whatismylife #whoarethesepeople | Sunday, December 02, 2018 11:04:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Every single year when it turns December, I always play Linkin Park - My December, and every single year, my wife laughs at me and calls me an emo. | Saturday, December 01, 2018 11:39:59 AM | Twitter for Android |
| New. York. Shitty! | Thursday, November 29, 2018 11:41:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Out at the bar and my boy's bragging about how his woman is picking him up in her jag #showoff | Thursday, November 29, 2018 10:08:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 Yep. I read they have no way to enforce it for out of state drivers | Thursday, November 29, 2018 7:16:05 AM | Twitter for Android |
| BARRY O KNOWS WTF IS UP. Fucking politics, man. You have two sides living in two different fantasy worlds (but one side is also dumb af) https://t.co/EuKg9bPBhr | Wednesday, November 28, 2018 11:42:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 "Too many turnstyle jumpers not being prosecuted so we need to raise fares and tolls" #eatadickMTA | Wednesday, November 28, 2018 11:16:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| JFC... We need to get better interwebs in Columbus. Look at how good this is https://t.co/AzIAccgn43 | Wednesday, November 28, 2018 11:08:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Lued_y You let 5 dogs starve to death? Kill yourself. | Sunday, November 25, 2018 5:29:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Something has to be done about how buggy everything is these days. Google, Android, Microsoft... Nothing fucking works right. https://t.co/GxMZbsfoAU https://t.co/qATBCUmhze | Sunday, November 25, 2018 5:28:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @RMerlinDev Do you think this will be Asus' new flagship, like the 68u and 86u? I have an 87u and it is very apparent they don't care about updating it to 384. I want to get a model where they actively develop the firmware for it for years In reply to @RMerlinDev's tweet | Sunday, November 25, 2018 3:37:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| No. It cannot https://t.co/AnmoGL9Den | Sunday, November 25, 2018 3:26:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This dude: "Hold my beer" https://t.co/IuAhCSaTt4 | Sunday, November 25, 2018 1:52:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @realDonaldTrump You're a big dummy https://t.co/eTnvm25YO7 In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet | Saturday, November 24, 2018 9:22:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| A very disappointed βichigan fan just walked out of the spa and his voice sounded like they cancelled Christmas | Saturday, November 24, 2018 3:16:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| We get it, we get it.... The @NYCTSubway is a cesspool shithole #oldnews https://t.co/OxARhb3h92 | Saturday, November 24, 2018 12:34:30 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Hey Google this bug is back again you dumb motherfuckers. Doesn't anyone test this shit? Android auto is completely unusable. https://t.co/Gpsq6Dkv9e | Friday, November 23, 2018 1:00:24 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Send the fucking bitch who did this to these poor dogs foot first through a wood chipper: https://t.co/KS0VYTxgui | Tuesday, November 20, 2018 7:07:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Freddy brought over the idiotic Juul like we're in friggin high school. I'm too old for this shit | Sunday, November 18, 2018 8:28:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| If this is true, Zuck is savage af https://t.co/74ToO2Rq4r | Thursday, November 15, 2018 2:11:27 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @Speedtest How can I report that a default server being chosen has inaccurate speeds. Other servers I select show my true speed. It should not be suggested anymore. It's reporting 30mbps when all others show me at 117mbps | Monday, November 12, 2018 2:22:20 AM | Twitter for Android |
| jfc now it's Niclelback In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Sunday, November 11, 2018 10:04:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm at Walmart and they're playing Creed. Need to reevaluate my life | Sunday, November 11, 2018 9:57:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Ask_Spectrum hey there's a Nationwide spectrum outage right now. Want to acknowledge it on your Twitter? | Friday, November 09, 2018 1:57:25 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Spectrum is a fucking terrible ISP... Nationwide outage (again), prices increasing, and it's $65/month for 100mbps that doesn't go faster than 80mbps and they claim there's nothing else they can do to get it to reach the advertised speeds Hey @AjitPaiFCC - eat a dick, fuckface | Friday, November 09, 2018 1:54:49 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Hey @AjitPaiFCC: go fuck yourself! https://t.co/07BfQwzklD | Monday, November 05, 2018 10:17:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo where's my neighbor driving off to at this hour? It's almost 3am on a weeknight in the middle of suburbia. Guy's literally an older white dude who shut off all his lights to keep trick or treaters away. What could he possibly be doing? | Thursday, November 01, 2018 2:43:28 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Hey @googlechrome how about fixing the blatantly obvious bug where there is no cursor in the address bar on Android 9 on my Pixel 2 | Wednesday, October 31, 2018 7:07:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Slack is using 45% CPU In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Monday, October 29, 2018 3:24:07 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Keep it up and I quit. I'm going to move to the backwoods and give up all modern technology. Just disappear off the radar and become a lumberjack in Alaska like fuckin Dexter (what a garbage ending btw) In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Monday, October 29, 2018 1:37:47 AM | Twitter for Android |
| We are so technologically advanced as a society, yet nothing fucking has good user experience and I'm motherfucking sick of it. In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Monday, October 29, 2018 1:36:10 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fucking Microsoft and it's Windows 10 updates 1) Deleting people's files 2) Intel pushing bad audio drivers through Windows updates Why? They are more concerned with stupid fucking features like 3D paint. Get the fuck out of here. Will you assholes release stable shit? In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Monday, October 29, 2018 1:35:11 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Missed my entire fucking Halloween party because I recommended against something but my boss made us do it anyway at 7PM on Friday and then another asshole engineer broke the cluster and boom, 5 hours wasted. Everyone can eat a dick In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Monday, October 29, 2018 1:33:00 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Everything is shit. No one tests anything. Blatantly obvious bugs preventing things from working. Fire everyone . In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Monday, October 29, 2018 1:31:45 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Waze and Android Auto? Garbage UX and bugs Samsung Smart TVs? Beautiful displays, garbage software Google Play Movies sends me a note that the upgraded a movie to 4K for free. And it doesn't fucking play In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Monday, October 29, 2018 1:31:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Technology is goddamn infuriating. Everything is a buggy piece of shit. Nothing works right. Product owners are overpaid assholes who add useless features and don't focus on a smooth experience | Monday, October 29, 2018 1:28:51 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @nypost Jesus Christ with this clickbait headline you tabloid assed paper. Respect the man and put his name in the headline, y'all made it sound like Sterling kicked it! | Tuesday, October 23, 2018 11:32:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My dog and I just farted on each other | Tuesday, October 23, 2018 11:24:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Run em over, I say! Ain't got no time for delaying millions of people https://t.co/bgGd5JcWON | Monday, October 22, 2018 10:26:44 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Call the waaaaambulance! ππ @comcast https://t.co/cwoLlLrWdY | Wednesday, October 17, 2018 2:05:11 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm in a fight with fuckin Spectrum again for providing speeds 20-50 Mbps lower than they promise. Getting the absolute runaround | Thursday, October 11, 2018 12:03:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus Christ, CC | Tuesday, October 09, 2018 8:18:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| F'in Spectrum. Paying $65/month for 100/10... Just found out WOW is in my area and can get 300/20 for $50 Plus, haven't been breaking over 80mbps lately. Wtf | Tuesday, October 09, 2018 10:18:18 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Astros over the Dodgers in 6 | Monday, October 08, 2018 10:21:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's too goddamn hot in October these days. Fuckssake @EPA @GOP and @realDonaldTrump you climate change denying cunts https://t.co/U84MP7Zaci | Sunday, October 07, 2018 8:32:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| jfc with the guy that threw beer on that A's fan. Be classier, Yankees fans. We already have a bad rep for being assholes. | Friday, October 05, 2018 1:01:13 AM | Twitter for Android |
| LUKE MOFUGGIN VOIT. Looks like a dude who gave his mother a hard time growing up. https://t.co/no6mrTZMA4 | Wednesday, October 03, 2018 10:41:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @realDonaldTrump eat a dick https://t.co/NZuJHFKZ5w | Wednesday, October 03, 2018 2:18:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Microsoft's outside their gd minds. No USB-C? Surfacebook 1 has shit firmware and takes 10 mins to boot and it sucks at DPI scaling. Piece of shit Lenovos are more modern and msft calls this a flagship? Shame https://t.co/4UKcGdVsEN | Sunday, September 30, 2018 3:05:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| New York City: Always Be Top Shelf | Thursday, September 27, 2018 9:20:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hey @MetroNorth these GCT outbound trains are spaced out like absolute shit. You are all idiots. Keep raising those fares and cutting trains though! https://t.co/vugI1uM9Cw | Monday, September 24, 2018 11:16:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Christ Almighty... I had one Fin Du Monde 9% abv beer on an empty stomach and I'm tipsy because I gave up being an alcoholic years ago. #lightweight | Friday, September 21, 2018 4:12:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @realDonaldTrump https://t.co/R5Ilezibx5 In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet | Thursday, September 13, 2018 2:00:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ajit Pai is an asshole | Monday, September 10, 2018 8:35:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Guava Nerds taste like vomit | Sunday, September 09, 2018 4:53:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Fantasy_Mania Send me that sausage and pepp! In reply to @Fantasy_Mania's tweet | Sunday, September 02, 2018 6:36:49 AM | Twitter for Android |
| See, here's my issue with this opener for Live and Counting Crows... Why you players need a MacBook on stage to make music? They didn't have that shit in the 90s. Come onnnn | Sunday, August 26, 2018 6:51:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| How 'bout those poor @ElementTVs workers in SC losing their jobs because of Trump's tariffs? Guess they better apply for some of those clean coal jobs! https://t.co/mwxER4H9QL | Saturday, August 25, 2018 12:44:35 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Surely that wall will keep the bastards out tho! https://t.co/6gnIv5Allt | Friday, August 24, 2018 12:37:09 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I can't go on anymore. Too exhausted In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Wednesday, August 22, 2018 3:19:47 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Trump: "Beautiful clean coal" Yeah, for sure those three words all tie together nicely. In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Wednesday, August 22, 2018 3:03:34 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I think our President alluded that the WV Governor had a big dick based on how tall he was and called him "the largest, most beautiful man" In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Wednesday, August 22, 2018 3:01:04 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I was watching the Trump West Virginia rally. It's entertainment. Reality TV at it's finest. You can't even make it up. Literally on the floor laughing at how absurd everything is In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Wednesday, August 22, 2018 2:32:54 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The inbred-ness of the West Virginia people at yesterday's Trump rally is off the charts ridiculous, laugh out loud funny. These people are an embarrassment to the USA. Kick the entire state out of the Union! | Wednesday, August 22, 2018 2:20:27 AM | Twitter for Android |
| When I find the motherfucker who stole my gas tank cap, I'm going to be plugging their asshole shut with it | Tuesday, August 21, 2018 10:47:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Y'all. There are too many absurd things happing in the world right now for me to satirize on here. I can't vanish from the Twitterverse now. Cuncel my Twitter leave. | Friday, August 17, 2018 1:34:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'll be taking a break from here for a bit again. Cya in the future. | Wednesday, August 15, 2018 1:23:30 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Suck it @AjitPaiFCC https://t.co/lGfkE786Ih | Monday, August 13, 2018 6:16:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Send @AjitPaiFCC straight into the sun on this rocket! https://t.co/7zRo6ViQrG | Sunday, August 12, 2018 10:26:29 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck you @MonsantoCo !!! | Friday, August 10, 2018 8:45:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @EPAAWheeler @EPA You're a bunch of morons In reply to @EPAAWheeler's tweet | Friday, August 10, 2018 4:27:50 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Y'all just need to get the fuck out of there. The entire metro area. Just leave. Pure savagery. https://t.co/Aj1Cxw7Xjy | Friday, August 10, 2018 4:16:29 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @NewYorkStateAG π. Hey @EPA - go fuck yourselves for permitting the use of this shit! In reply to @NewYorkStateAG's tweet | Thursday, August 09, 2018 11:06:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| C- experience at the Cleveland airport... only a couple notches up from LGA | Thursday, August 09, 2018 6:19:27 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @realDonaldTrump All the votes aren't counted yet, doofus In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet | Wednesday, August 08, 2018 7:06:29 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 @Mets Had field level seats at Yankee Stadium down the third base line in 1998 for $45. Now it's like $250. #cuncel | Tuesday, August 07, 2018 10:37:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @AzureSupport @Azure Appreciate the reply. This is my complaint/parody account. I'll open up a real ticket and be professional about it. In reply to @AzureSupport's tweet | Tuesday, August 07, 2018 12:41:50 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The Yankees STINK. Aaron Boone stinks. | Friday, August 03, 2018 9:49:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MonsantoCo You like giving people cancer In reply to @MonsantoCo's tweet | Friday, August 03, 2018 7:20:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| What a dumb bitch. How much is the telecom lobby paying you? Keep the internet open @MarshaBlackburn https://t.co/MAFWv3bxxk | Friday, August 03, 2018 7:18:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MetroNorth Good service on the Harlem Line my ass. The 6:36 left at 6:50. Keep raising those fares tho! https://t.co/hnefOZShsl In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Friday, August 03, 2018 7:15:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hey @MetroNorth I'm visiting NY for one goddamn day and you're delayed. Cunts. I moved away because your infrastructure is fucking garbage. | Friday, August 03, 2018 6:49:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| https://t.co/9o0Uyrs16D | Friday, August 03, 2018 6:38:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The subway STINKS | Friday, August 03, 2018 8:43:57 AM | Twitter for Android |
| It's 12:22 and I'm over here at Jones bea at the Jimmy Buffet tailgate and I'm ready to break the seal | Thursday, August 02, 2018 12:23:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Troy_Balderson @mike_pence π¨ββ€οΈβπ¨ In reply to @Troy_Balderson's tweet | Tuesday, July 31, 2018 2:13:13 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo @Troy_Balderson... Y u so heartless? https://t.co/hOrNsuO9iF | Tuesday, July 31, 2018 2:10:57 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @andrewcuomo how are those $30 million blue and gold subway tiles doing? Helping service? Welp, at least you told @Ask_Spectrum to go fuck themselves, ya got that going for you. In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Monday, July 30, 2018 2:37:09 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The cesspool, dumpster fire @NYCTSubway continues to crumble and I couldn't have made a better decision leaving that God forsaken, dirty, overpriced city https://t.co/XXHn3aE20P | Monday, July 30, 2018 2:33:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Machine learning my ass. You know some degenerate over at Google did this on purpose. Or their machine learning algorithm is DTF https://t.co/bR5ySael8M #android #feedly | Sunday, July 29, 2018 12:43:14 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo 300 synthetic marijuana ODs in two weeks in DC? You have to be a certified IDIOT if you knowlingly smoke this garbage. And we drug test and punish people for real weed? #dafuq #priorities https://t.co/41tSYLET44 | Saturday, July 28, 2018 3:18:04 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I take full credit for this reversal: https://t.co/aZNpjWIwwE In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Thursday, July 26, 2018 10:48:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bruh https://t.co/9oTrEv3N2b In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Thursday, July 26, 2018 8:51:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Might as well be using an 8 track... In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Thursday, July 26, 2018 8:48:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm burning a CD for my drive to NY bc my old car only has a CD player and I feel like it's 2002 again | Thursday, July 26, 2018 8:48:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Guy with Bob Ross shirt to guy with 'Festivus for the rest of us' shirt: "Great shirt" #2greatshirts | Wednesday, July 25, 2018 8:24:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ajit Pai. Better than Donald Trump. #2fools https://t.co/eOI7FGUfcy | Wednesday, July 25, 2018 6:17:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| For fucks sake... https://t.co/wtd3PfYaye | Wednesday, July 25, 2018 3:39:42 AM | Twitter for Android |
| To All Twitter People: NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE @PORTFOLIOSO AGAIN OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE. #ima4thgrader | Monday, July 23, 2018 2:09:27 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @RMerlinDev Thank you for your reply and for what you do In reply to @RMerlinDev's tweet | Monday, July 23, 2018 1:52:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @JaikePG @Ask_Spectrum Columbus is out too | Monday, July 23, 2018 12:48:46 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Everyone's driving like fucking assholes rn | Sunday, July 22, 2018 5:49:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @RMerlinDev is it true ASUS released 3.0.0.4.382.50702 GPL for the 87U? I'm assuming this won't make it to your 384.6 firmware. Assuming ASUS keeps releasing updates for it, do I just have to wait for 384.7? | Friday, July 20, 2018 2:28:09 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Everyone knows what happened in 1929 tho amirite? https://t.co/Klsm6fU2zt | Thursday, July 19, 2018 11:28:05 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The guy who leads this bitch doesn't know the difference between the words would and wouldn't https://t.co/y8xLf4Oo1c | Wednesday, July 18, 2018 4:56:55 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Great Danes are big dumb dumbs | Wednesday, July 18, 2018 12:43:55 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm out at a wine event and wifey's got a stomach bug and now I have to drink double and I'm about to blackout rn | Tuesday, July 17, 2018 7:45:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Also, don't rip on Russia or else they'll find you. They'll hack your emails. And then they'll end up poisoning you with radioactive polonium or Novichok In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Tuesday, July 17, 2018 1:33:04 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @AjitPaiFCC Good job for once, doofus.π https://t.co/7T4gr59wkc | Tuesday, July 17, 2018 1:30:30 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I was looking at a tweet of dude ripping on Russian politics and then my Twitter app crashed. | Tuesday, July 17, 2018 1:28:47 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus fucking Christ https://t.co/qBgAmzGTvk | Tuesday, July 10, 2018 3:06:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus Christ, China. Stop it "Ozone hole mystery: China insulating chemical said to be source of rise" https://t.co/1tq2v9WAR6 #science #feedly | Tuesday, July 10, 2018 12:34:14 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @MonsantoCo Makes sense considering all your glyphosate and GMO seeds are sickening millions of people. Cunts. In reply to @MonsantoCo's tweet | Tuesday, July 10, 2018 12:25:38 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Hey I'm interested in ruining the environment and giving people lung cancer. I'm gonna get me one of those @GliderKit trucks with shitty old diesel engines to save a few bucks. Trump and the EPA said it was coo. Dirty air only affects liberal hippies. | Sunday, July 08, 2018 12:06:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 @The7LineArmy @cgrand3 Grandy is an upstanding gentleman | Wednesday, July 04, 2018 12:32:25 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Go eat a dick. If we're allowed to grab em by the pussy these days, what's the harm in a little freedom of speech shirt? https://t.co/ZIPKdorgs0 | Tuesday, July 03, 2018 7:33:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @__JLu Yeah but if you think that's bad... Business version starts a new thread every time you X out a DM conversation. Absurd UX. | Wednesday, June 27, 2018 1:56:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hey @Google. Will you players stop putting this resting bitch face in my feed? I'm tired of seeing this miserable woman there 24/7. No one needs to see that nasty shit https://t.co/jHui5uWMdE | Tuesday, June 26, 2018 11:03:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Lol.. this dude played like 10 games total and spent the other 12 years on the DL https://t.co/tUItPiRwap | Monday, June 25, 2018 9:27:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just because the kid on the photo of Time wasn't separated doesn't mean hundreds of others weren't so if you point out that cover is a lie, it's symbolism, you inbred idiots. | Sunday, June 24, 2018 6:59:03 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Just finished Coco .....Annnnnnnd I'm bawling. | Saturday, June 23, 2018 11:23:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| There isn't enough money in existence you could pay me to live anywhere near these shitholes and make me do that commute. I'd honestly rather live in Flint MI with the lead water https://t.co/KZF9yOf0iK | Saturday, June 23, 2018 9:23:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This nice family is over here taking video of their kids in the pool and I'm over here with my degenerates drinking in the background of it | Monday, June 18, 2018 7:50:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I guess i should clear up that this was a bathroom stall. Not just in the middle of the place In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Wednesday, June 13, 2018 8:24:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm not even shitting you... There was literally a guy in my clubhouse dropping a deuce spread eagle with the stall door wide open. #dafuq | Wednesday, June 13, 2018 8:21:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @BarstoolJJ: #NeverForget #SubwaySeries https://t.co/YTtYFGfLQI | Saturday, June 09, 2018 12:24:22 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @artalexakis your show was tight. You want to chill with us at this middle of nowhere casino, right? | Friday, June 08, 2018 10:20:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Everclear is playing a free show in Columbus. Art Alexakis fucks | Friday, June 08, 2018 7:46:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I just went through the Taco Bell drive through with a train conductor's hat on... This is my life status rn.. | Thursday, June 07, 2018 12:01:51 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo @AjitPaiFCC I just told ya boy to eat a dick https://t.co/z3NfTgnTCk | Thursday, May 31, 2018 3:20:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @mikeofcc @FCC If some FCC leaders -- like yourself and crooked @AjitPaiFCC -- think they can get away with the despicable practice of ending net neutrality, they can expect further engagement by states and the people! Go away. | Thursday, May 31, 2018 3:17:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Does it make me an abusers list if I updated the AirBNB's router firmware, removed the Russian VPNFilter malware, disabled UPNP, and set it to use CloudFlare DNS? You're welcome! | Tuesday, May 29, 2018 1:01:57 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm in Greenville South Carolina and there is zero food open. Cero. Just 3 bars. In the main downtown. And zero food. | Monday, May 28, 2018 12:05:04 AM | Twitter for Android |
| This is like my middle school dream. I wanted to bang Stacy and Stacy's Mom back in '01. Dat music video doe | Sunday, May 27, 2018 10:12:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ok. They just played Stacy's Mom at this wedding and it's officially lit. | Sunday, May 27, 2018 10:11:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Sonny Gray STINKS. There's no room for this riff raff on a quality team. Send him down to Scranton or launch him into the sun. You can't have a guy pitching like that for a team contending for the best record in MLB | Sunday, May 27, 2018 10:14:53 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Usually I'd drop a couple f bombs at @NYCTSubway to do better, but I moved out of NY because I couldn't deal with the dumpster fire MTA. So do what you want and have fun living in squalor In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Saturday, May 26, 2018 1:11:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The NY Post is trying to take credit for this? Get real. Everyone knows the J/Z LES stations are dilapidated shitholes https://t.co/hYMXywn6CF | Saturday, May 26, 2018 1:06:53 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Idk how I feel about this guy at the bar who's wearing a tail. You do you broseph | Friday, May 25, 2018 11:24:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The only just punishment for the guy who did this is death by firing squad. https://t.co/FaxjYQqep3 | Sunday, May 20, 2018 2:43:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "If it works on people like you and me, it'll work on anyone" -Vinny | Sunday, May 20, 2018 2:16:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @RockNationRadio You've gotta hang with us then. You'll love it In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet | Sunday, May 20, 2018 12:45:12 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @RockNationRadio Rosanna, Meat Loaf, Phill Collins, Michael Bolton. Fuck outta hea In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet | Sunday, May 20, 2018 12:42:08 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Vinny's 80s playlists are good damn awful | Sunday, May 20, 2018 12:04:13 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Took a leak when shaggys move it came on. Piss poor timing | Saturday, May 19, 2018 1:05:07 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My phones at 2% so later tweeple. I'll be in Athens drinking | Saturday, May 19, 2018 12:53:08 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Pony's on, so biddies getting preggo | Saturday, May 19, 2018 12:52:34 AM | Twitter for Android |
| How in the actual fuck does it take 40 minutes at dumpster fire LaGuardia to taxi to a runway to take off on. | Friday, May 18, 2018 1:59:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dollar pizza in NYC is sexxxxx | Thursday, May 17, 2018 11:50:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just wanted to point out... Eric Clapton's solo, acoustic-ish version of Layla is π₯flames | Thursday, May 17, 2018 6:04:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's a common sense issue. It's a greedy evil isp trying to fuck over consumers issue. Not partisan shit. This country sux In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Thursday, May 17, 2018 4:41:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| While @AjitPaiFCC is a fuckup asshole, and I agree with a free and open internet, THIS SHOULD NOT BE A DEMOCRAT VS REPUBLICAN ISSUE https://t.co/XGgc9rwoLg | Thursday, May 17, 2018 4:40:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @AjitPaiFCC Repealing net neutrality is separate and unequal. Even worse. You're a moron corporate shill. In reply to @AjitPaiFCC's tweet | Thursday, May 17, 2018 3:45:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @mikeofcc @CoxComm Net neutrality is important you idiot | Thursday, May 17, 2018 3:43:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yeah this guys' fulla shit. Weed doesn't work like that https://t.co/WuErbQ5EhE | Thursday, May 17, 2018 12:22:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hey @AjitPaiFCC: GO FUCK YORSELF (Although it won't get past the house or ya boy Donnie). But you're still a fuckup asshole corporate shill https://t.co/stTsYb1obm | Wednesday, May 16, 2018 4:22:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This woman is savage though. Flat out take her feet down when the guy comes by and puts em right back up after he's passed In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Tuesday, May 15, 2018 10:22:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Now someone shit the train... This one time, I am innocent of the ripass | Tuesday, May 15, 2018 10:15:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hardoooo Metro North conductor made this older lady take her feet off the seat even though she had her shoes off. And no fucks were given as she put them right back up after he left. | Tuesday, May 15, 2018 10:13:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The subways are too damn hot! | Tuesday, May 15, 2018 9:30:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| New York is hot af | Tuesday, May 15, 2018 3:03:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Metro North car I'm in smells like a fuckin sewer. It's not even a bathroom car. | Tuesday, May 15, 2018 7:40:35 AM | Twitter for Android |
| This is hilarious. He's like "These alleged leaks are bs made up by fake news to make me look a fool. But leakers are bad and I'll find them and fire them, because like, it's true and shit" https://t.co/rhKm2wjiTN | Tuesday, May 15, 2018 1:31:10 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Good. Fuckkk this guy. He should get the death penalty for this shit. I get 5 spoofed calls per day https://t.co/244xsLO3V7 | Friday, May 11, 2018 11:52:23 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @VZWSupport It works very well and my phone has plenty of storage. Just wondering In reply to @VZWSupport's tweet | Tuesday, May 08, 2018 12:52:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Why in the world is the My Verizon Android app 166 MB? To show a couple of dashboards and do basic account management? Gmail and Chrome apps are less than 10MB @VZWNow https://t.co/4zjb4d9k4z | Tuesday, May 08, 2018 12:48:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The @MTA / @NYCTSubway is a garbage organization https://t.co/KXMOZj365M | Monday, May 07, 2018 12:01:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's 3am and my dog and I licked off the same plate. I need to reevaluate my drunk food situation | Sunday, May 06, 2018 3:10:55 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I mean... I tried to air trombone but it just looked like I was sucking a dick | Sunday, May 06, 2018 1:13:07 AM | Twitter for Android |
| How dare you refer to all dogs as disorderly. Arizona Senator John Kavanaugh does NOT fuck: https://t.co/u6KKh5VLJy | Saturday, May 05, 2018 10:52:13 AM | Twitter for Android |
| God Bless CC Sabathia | Friday, May 04, 2018 8:53:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Lol @mikeofcc STINKS https://t.co/V582Df0Mp0 | Wednesday, May 02, 2018 12:14:33 AM | Twitter for Android |
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