9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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Gonna put @KFCBarstool on suicide watch over this 20 inning mets loss. Typical mets... Saturday, June 08, 2013 7:50:47 PMTwitter for Android
I can do the Robert Plant falsetto like a boss. Get at me bitches Saturday, June 08, 2013 6:02:56 PMTwitter for Android
I possibly smell just as bad as Swati or Khodaja right now.... Saturday, June 08, 2013 6:01:12 PMTwitter for Android
Wasted right now. Couldn't figure out how to get off the escalator Friday, June 07, 2013 8:57:19 AMTwitter for Android
I think I'm still drunk Friday, June 07, 2013 8:10:24 AMTwitter for Android
Big screen TVs, blunts, and bitches Thursday, June 06, 2013 9:43:50 PMTwitter for Android
Stein's a fuckin baller Thursday, June 06, 2013 9:41:57 PMTwitter for Android
Derick: "Management will tell you: Money isn't the key to happiness. But that's bullshit because they've got money already" Thursday, June 06, 2013 9:31:54 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew way to smoke joker. U missed two shots Thursday, June 06, 2013 9:06:27 PMTwitter for Android
Joe Stein is a fuckin baller Thursday, June 06, 2013 8:16:23 PMTwitter for Android
"Yo. Were going to down the hatch. So uh. Be there or be a dick" Thursday, June 06, 2013 7:43:27 PMTwitter for Android
Keep confusing Gabe and George. Oops Thursday, June 06, 2013 7:34:40 PMTwitter for Android
Dude, this room's buzzin. Whoa! It's the great outdoors! Thursday, June 06, 2013 12:35:44 AMTwitter for Android
But he's no Mo.... #ihavechills Monday, June 03, 2013 10:01:03 PMTwitter for Android
Love me some Robertson. #mancrushmonday Monday, June 03, 2013 9:53:26 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu Yo hot dogs? Bah, sausage and peppers! Monday, June 03, 2013 9:17:30 PMTwitter for Android
LOVIN the Swisher chant from the bleacher creatures! Awwwwwwe Monday, June 03, 2013 7:23:01 PMTwitter for Android
Section 203. First time I'm chilling with @baldvinny and the rest of the Bleacher Creatures since 2008 in section 39 in the old house. Monday, June 03, 2013 7:07:25 PMTwitter for Android
OH MY GOD, BARRY is conductor on the 7:36!!! I'm taking this train everyday now. Fuck the 8:02 #tiger #sport #champ #boss #nowiggling Monday, June 03, 2013 7:39:52 AMTwitter for Android
Stupid motherfuckin rain. It would start downpouring the minute I left the house. Also, fuckin 4/5 signal probs again... Pieces of shit Monday, June 03, 2013 7:34:15 AMTwitter for Android
My fat fuckin ass is walking to the train instead of getting a ride. Gotta add steps for my my Jawbone Up Monday, June 03, 2013 7:24:45 AMTwitter for Android
Yo train dude. Pull this rig the fuck out. Ain't got no time to be stopped at Fordham for like 10 mins Sunday, June 02, 2013 3:18:14 PMTwitter for Android
The girls in the Cohen's Fashion Optical subway ads are absolutely DTF Sunday, June 02, 2013 2:47:16 PMTwitter for Android
Mal just posted bullshit on my twitter. I'm changing my phone passcode Sunday, June 02, 2013 2:05:41 PMTwitter for Android
Just ate a bag of dicks...delicious. Sunday, June 02, 2013 1:59:58 PMTwitter for Android
I think an old chick just started grinding me Sunday, June 02, 2013 1:33:26 PMTwitter for Android
Dude. The suns coming up Sunday, June 02, 2013 4:46:41 AMTwitter for Android
Quiggs ass looks Luke a bag of wet furs Sunday, June 02, 2013 3:12:02 AMTwitter for Android
Pimp Juice!!!!! Sunday, June 02, 2013 2:46:36 AMTwitter for Android
Coltons dropping dope jams Sunday, June 02, 2013 2:32:12 AMTwitter for Android
Hood went West Coast Sunday, June 02, 2013 1:58:46 AMTwitter for Android
Yo Edgar's a fuckin riot Sunday, June 02, 2013 1:35:21 AMTwitter for Android
Kwabi is at Sues right now Sunday, June 02, 2013 1:34:57 AMTwitter for Android
Edgar: "Yo. Fuck this pizza. I need to dance to this jam." Sunday, June 02, 2013 1:23:36 AMTwitter for Android
Edgar: "This player's my idol" (Regarding Will Smith) Sunday, June 02, 2013 1:19:32 AMTwitter for Android
Edgar: "Did he just Puerto Rican Day Parade you?" Sunday, June 02, 2013 1:16:46 AMTwitter for Android
King Without a Crown has the most epic bassline. I always end up playing air bass to it Saturday, June 01, 2013 11:58:14 PMTwitter for Android
Bob Dylan + The Band + @MalJNew + Margs + Lightning = awesome Saturday, June 01, 2013 9:57:53 PMTwitter for Android
That's right... @__JLu @kerbear88 http://t.co/IDHSmyD4jU Saturday, June 01, 2013 8:18:20 PMTwitter for Android
Led Zeppelin loving cabbie is TIGHT Saturday, June 01, 2013 1:04:47 AMTwitter for Android
Cabbie is borat Saturday, June 01, 2013 12:53:29 AMTwitter for Android
Yo. I'm rootin for Derick and Cho to bang. They're the cutest Saturday, June 01, 2013 12:32:25 AMTwitter for Android
Dude. Stop being a pussy and just show him ur tits and suck his dick.... For real. No bitchin on twitter. Shoulda woulda coulda #fail Friday, May 31, 2013 10:52:05 PMTwitter for Android
I want a lap dance from Antonia Friday, May 31, 2013 7:50:35 PMTwitter for Android
I see Texiera is back. His vagina healed nicely. Friday, May 31, 2013 7:43:08 PMTwitter for Android
Aniusha: "Players talking about sticking needles through your dick and shit" Friday, May 31, 2013 2:50:09 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck the fuckin 4/5 train in the ass with a chainsaw Friday, May 31, 2013 9:30:38 AMTwitter for Android
Welp. Didn't fart or poop myself on this train home #greatsuccess Friday, May 31, 2013 1:10:55 AMTwitter for Android
I'm gonna get drunk tomorrow and call Eric a cuntmunch Friday, May 31, 2013 1:03:57 AMTwitter for Android
Yo. Had a draft of a tweet that made no sense. Don't even know what I was trying to say Friday, May 31, 2013 12:48:43 AMTwitter for Android
@thomaswood http://t.co/F1XMkskXkV #metsaretheworst
In reply to @thomaswood's tweet
Friday, May 31, 2013 12:33:03 AMTwitter for Android
Since when does the lower lever of GCT close early. This is bullshit. Ima piss all over the train bc they suck Friday, May 31, 2013 12:12:15 AMTwitter for Android
Mad po po in this station. Safe. Yeahhhhh buddy Thursday, May 30, 2013 11:50:00 PMTwitter for Android
Julissa was like "GIOOOO how'd you get that tan" and I was like "Went to Vegas bro" Thursday, May 30, 2013 11:16:55 PMTwitter for Android
@KFCBarstool eat a dick. Mets always have and always will suck.
In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet
Thursday, May 30, 2013 10:41:14 PMTwitter for Android
So drunk I tried to throw my cup into a speaker instead of a garbage can Thursday, May 30, 2013 10:39:20 PMTwitter for Android
I'm legit scared at what my tab's gonna be at this clip joint assed place. But: #yolo #bdayweekend Thursday, May 30, 2013 9:35:54 PMTwitter for Android
Gio: "I only give 6s and 7s. Everybody passes" Thursday, May 30, 2013 9:18:27 PMTwitter for Android
@kerbear88 fuck the fuckin subway
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Thursday, May 30, 2013 8:44:06 PMTwitter for Android
freshmen girls: Your mouth can't get pregnant Thursday, May 30, 2013 8:31:57 PMTwitter for Android
Its totes not 97, but I still hate the heat Thursday, May 30, 2013 1:52:21 PMTwitter for Android
This is bullshit http://t.co/oUPctyEUY7 Thursday, May 30, 2013 1:49:59 PMTwitter for Android
We need to get this API developer Justin a lap dance and some strippers Thursday, May 30, 2013 10:34:23 AMTwitter for Android
Just ripped ass on the train badly & got the WORST look from these two Asians in front of me. probs making fun of me in Japanese. #whatever Wednesday, May 29, 2013 11:12:17 PMTwitter for Android
I'm pretty sure I dropped double what I ate over Memorial Day weekend... This is why I wasn't at my desk all day. Wednesday, May 29, 2013 1:24:12 AMTwitter for Android
This is some bullshit Tuesday, May 28, 2013 11:37:32 PMTwitter for Android
Mother fuckin Michael Kay... God damn it... I knew Rivera was fucked the minute he said he was perfect all season Tuesday, May 28, 2013 11:34:55 PMTwitter for Android
Michael Kay just jinxed Rivera. Mark my words. Tuesday, May 28, 2013 11:30:47 PMTwitter for Android
Can I get some coffee with that iced milk. You fuckin assholes. @DunkinDonuts http://t.co/paSVzwSWwc Tuesday, May 28, 2013 8:48:31 AMTwitter for Android
BYNES!!!!! Monday, May 27, 2013 9:59:54 PMTwitter for Android
Had so much fun with my @MalJNew today!!! πŸ‘πŸ˜ƒ Monday, May 27, 2013 9:50:09 PMTwitter for Android
Philip πŸ‘πŸ‘ Monday, May 27, 2013 9:12:19 PMTwitter for Android
I mean. The only reason Hughes wasn't blown out was because I tweeted he would've been. Monday, May 27, 2013 9:05:31 PMTwitter for Android
Hughes is pitching tonight? Yanks are fucked Monday, May 27, 2013 7:21:47 PMTwitter for Android
@dannyrob88 #NoTouching
In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet
Monday, May 27, 2013 4:58:37 PMTwitter for Android
"What... We didn't make out or anything. I just gave him a blow job" hhhhhh Sunday, May 26, 2013 8:20:06 PMTwitter for Android
I'm in slow motion right now Sunday, May 26, 2013 4:04:09 PMTwitter for Android
She went from Long Beach down to L.A Saturday, May 25, 2013 9:37:06 PMTwitter for Android
Also this Valorie chick is fuckin crazy Saturday, May 25, 2013 8:18:25 PMTwitter for Android
I just told a gay I was straight but gay for Dave Grohl. Hhhhhh Saturday, May 25, 2013 8:13:49 PMTwitter for Android
Oh the irony... Tried to call Google Play support from Google voice in gmail but it couldn't detect my mic. #googlefail Saturday, May 25, 2013 10:02:56 AMTwitter for Android
Fuckin washout. What a waste of Memorial Day Weekend Friday, May 24, 2013 4:46:47 PMTwitter for Android
Best shit reference ever: "Yo. I'm taking the Browns to the Superbowl" @MalJNew Thursday, May 23, 2013 9:31:36 PMTwitter for Android
You do realize that I basically jizz my pants every time Pearl Jam's Black comes on at the bar, right? Thursday, May 23, 2013 9:08:26 PMTwitter for Android
@kerbear88 fuckin shithole
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Thursday, May 23, 2013 7:12:32 PMTwitter for Android
#craigsagersuit Wednesday, May 22, 2013 8:47:38 PMTwitter for Android
@thomaswood touche.
In reply to @thomaswood's tweet
Tuesday, May 21, 2013 7:18:22 PMTwitter for Android
Somehow, it always comes down to this http://t.co/K1DhHxwMi8 Tuesday, May 21, 2013 9:42:00 AMTwitter for Android
Finally, the MTA has done something right. AC on full blast. It's an ice cube in here and I LOVE it! Tuesday, May 21, 2013 8:07:55 AMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew I don't have a big ego. I have an awesome ego
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Tuesday, May 21, 2013 8:00:03 AMTwitter for Android
Almost just fell asleep standing on the train. Freaked then car out because I looked like I was going to collapse Monday, May 20, 2013 6:58:45 PMTwitter for Android
She likes to burn Saturday, May 18, 2013 11:17:40 PMTwitter for Android
Shit and corruption Saturday, May 18, 2013 11:08:06 PMTwitter for Android
I'm just the happiest!!!!! Saturday, May 18, 2013 10:56:33 PMTwitter for Android
Wait a sec.... Is it narcissistic to jack off to a picture of yourself? I mean look at me. I'm just sayin. Its gotta be fine... Saturday, May 18, 2013 10:08:46 PMTwitter for Android
This N train smells like cigarettes and dirty, sweaty sponges Saturday, May 18, 2013 6:36:49 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck you man. I just doused myself in coke Thursday, May 16, 2013 11:38:51 PMTwitter for Android
Relax and take notes Thursday, May 16, 2013 10:36:22 PMTwitter for Android
This game is ugly Thursday, May 16, 2013 10:30:47 PMTwitter for Android
Xtina: "You God damned slack jawed junk slut" Thursday, May 16, 2013 9:06:00 PMTwitter for Android
Mal. Get your black ass to the bar. (Not just an expression. She's got the black badonkadonk) Thursday, May 16, 2013 8:45:30 PMTwitter for Android
Irina to Derick: "You need to smile more in office. I thought you were going to drink my blood. Now you're relaxed" Thursday, May 16, 2013 8:21:55 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew boys > girls. Also give her a xanax. Then come to watering and drink with us
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Thursday, May 16, 2013 8:07:17 PMTwitter for Android
Derick: "Balls is where they come from" Thursday, May 16, 2013 7:48:32 PMTwitter for Android
What's the over under Cisco banged Alena when she was visiting us from Kiev? Thursday, May 16, 2013 7:44:15 PMTwitter for Android
Derick: Breastchester Thursday, May 16, 2013 7:26:01 PMTwitter for Android
Derick: "What the fuck do you know about Dominicans you Westchester-assed white boy" Thursday, May 16, 2013 7:18:08 PMTwitter for Android
get the fuck off my team, Phil Hughes edition Wednesday, May 15, 2013 7:23:29 PMTwitter for Android
In a broken train car with no AC. Might be a hundo right now Wednesday, May 15, 2013 7:03:57 PMTwitter for Android
I am gonna buy the watering hole. Me Mals and Brad are here. Private bar. Private party Tuesday, May 14, 2013 10:54:17 PMTwitter for Android
Bucky makes some mean 'chos Tuesday, May 14, 2013 10:41:57 PMTwitter for Android
So romantic... @maljnew: "If my card goes through, I'll get us a cab home tonight" Tuesday, May 14, 2013 10:41:31 PMTwitter for Android
Mariano is just the best. I was broin out with my dude Bucky, @wateringholenyc chef talking about my boys the Yankees Tuesday, May 14, 2013 10:34:12 PMTwitter for Android
Someone's smoking mad weed here. Maybe if I fart, no one will smell it. Shit. @MalJNew just did Tuesday, May 14, 2013 10:23:06 PMTwitter for Android
@wateringholenyc is blasting all the 80s carnal jams. @RockNationRadio wishes he could be here right now Tuesday, May 14, 2013 10:17:00 PMTwitter for Android
Um. Where's my neon girl, jukebox machine? Tuesday, May 14, 2013 9:24:19 PMTwitter for Android
I might need another one of these Netta G&Ts. Going down real smooth. Summer's almost here bitchessss Tuesday, May 14, 2013 9:18:45 PMTwitter for Android
Who needs a seat either. I'm perfectly fine standing ass to dick with random strangers Monday, May 13, 2013 6:45:39 PMTwitter for Android
I mean. I'm just having the greatest day. Why not make me miss all my trains. :-) <3 the MTA. The best!!!!! Monday, May 13, 2013 6:44:32 PMTwitter for Android
If you don't think I'm taking an extended lunch tomorrow to visit Bluth's frozen banana stand, you're outside your mind. Sunday, May 12, 2013 11:05:40 PMTwitter for Android
Aunt: "She does shit... She's a lazy bitch" Sunday, May 12, 2013 8:38:46 PMTwitter for Android
Happy Mother's Day all you mothers. Sunday, May 12, 2013 8:28:14 PMTwitter for Android
My aunt: "My daughter brought me kale chips, kale sister's ass... I'm sick of kale." Sunday, May 12, 2013 8:27:43 PMTwitter for Android
Dude who just got off this train is 100% Draco Malfoy. Sunday, May 12, 2013 11:01:09 AMTwitter for Android
@kerbear88 enjoyyyyyyyyy. Not gonna make it over. Cya next time
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Saturday, May 11, 2013 10:36:31 PMTwitter for Android
We don't need no MetroCard we taking cabs home cabs cabs home Saturday, May 11, 2013 9:11:54 PMTwitter for Android
Ordered a Philly cheasesteak.. Was nom. Then I ordered sliders. I'm a fatty Saturday, May 11, 2013 8:08:23 PMTwitter for Android
Me to C.J... "she loooooves meat" Saturday, May 11, 2013 7:47:15 PMTwitter for Android
I want Yuri tending my bar.... This is bullshit Saturday, May 11, 2013 7:43:14 PMTwitter for Android
I think my tolerance is through the roof. Because I can drink all day and never feel hammered Saturday, May 11, 2013 7:42:11 PMTwitter for Android
I want Woody's in my mouth Saturday, May 11, 2013 7:02:23 PMTwitter for Android
Oh app4 is down? Good. I'd fix it but you said i needed more experience and don't pay me fairly so I'm out drinking instead. Eat a dick Saturday, May 11, 2013 6:17:17 PMTwitter for Android
Also, our system crashed today and I didn't fix it nor give a fuck. When they want to be fair to me, I'll care again. Saturday, May 11, 2013 5:53:09 PMTwitter for Android
Some dude just took a picture of three dudes at the urinal in the passed. Wtf Saturday, May 11, 2013 5:51:46 PMTwitter for Android
"Its been a long time since I've seen an Asian bouncer" -Joel Saturday, May 11, 2013 4:56:02 PMTwitter for Android
Thanks for the drink assistance at the bar, @MalJNew. Those tits are reallll useful for getting the bartender's attention Saturday, May 11, 2013 4:38:14 PMTwitter for Android
@MarkAbsher @MalJNew good times! Cray times!
In reply to @MarkAbsher's tweet
Saturday, May 11, 2013 11:11:15 AMTwitter for Android
Need a Dramamine for this train. I've been on ships that rocked less. Fuck this commute and the MTA Friday, May 10, 2013 8:06:50 AMTwitter for Android
"I mean if getting shitfaced and grabbing your girlfriends ass makes you an embarrassment then Im an absolute fucking disgrace" @KFCBarstool Thursday, May 09, 2013 4:50:09 PMTwitter for Android
Relief... Floating in a stream Thursday, May 09, 2013 4:29:34 PMTwitter for Android
I mean... I don't think that request was out of line. This was the third time she turned off pearl jam. Wednesday, May 08, 2013 9:44:54 PMTwitter for Android
Cunt bartender yelled at me when I gave her shit for turning off pearl jam. She can eat a bag of dicks. No more tips. Wednesday, May 08, 2013 9:38:46 PMTwitter for Android
Cunts Wednesday, May 08, 2013 9:14:55 PMTwitter for Android
#booker #eldiablo Wednesday, May 08, 2013 9:14:49 PMTwitter for Android
"When you give a shit, you look like a fuckin lunatic" -Derick Wednesday, May 08, 2013 9:09:54 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck you Daniel telling me I'm inexperienced. You know what else I was inexperienced at that I got good at quickly? I'll show your wife Wednesday, May 08, 2013 8:46:55 PMTwitter for Android
Daniel can eat a dick Wednesday, May 08, 2013 8:36:07 PMTwitter for Android
Derick's cracking up about how im telling everyone to eat a bag of dicks. Wednesday, May 08, 2013 7:59:49 PMTwitter for Android
I mean..... Whoever turned off pearl jam is a fuckin douche canoe Wednesday, May 08, 2013 7:49:41 PMTwitter for Android
If I were mayor, I'd cockslap the shit out of crime Wednesday, May 08, 2013 7:48:20 PMTwitter for Android
Also, whoever's smoking weed here. Let me get in on some of that shit bastards Wednesday, May 08, 2013 7:23:57 PMTwitter for Android
Shitty day? No probs. Go to Dakota bar. Alice in Chains, mad season, Offspring, pearl jam, FUCK Wednesday, May 08, 2013 7:20:44 PMTwitter for Android
GIO is my dude also. Real people have my back. Wednesday, May 08, 2013 3:08:56 PMTwitter for Android
Gonna go back to work all chill and shit. Probably will be mad productive. Hey... It's healthier to chill than to be a hyper bitch Wednesday, May 08, 2013 2:56:45 PMTwitter for Android
Mad at boss? Just go to the bar and pound beers. Problem solved Wednesday, May 08, 2013 2:52:11 PMTwitter for Android
Waitress ass bitch. can't you see I'm batshit crazy right now? Let me get a beer asshole. Wednesday, May 08, 2013 2:37:31 PMTwitter for Android
Bitch bring me another beer. Wednesday, May 08, 2013 2:29:25 PMTwitter for Android
Walk faster cunts Wednesday, May 08, 2013 7:58:52 AMTwitter for Android
@Fantasy_Mania Cuncel my fantasy team. Tuesday, May 07, 2013 11:28:54 PMTwitter for Android
Why do all Armenians' last names end in -ian? Tuesday, May 07, 2013 9:21:53 PMTwitter for Android
In a merpy mood caused by giving too many fucks. I shouldn't care. Aka boss man wants to use rpm, I want to compile from source. Tuesday, May 07, 2013 6:16:36 PMTwitter for Android
Private garbage truck in the hood/bx shows up at 11:30. Car backs up and unloads the trunk. Both pull away. Pretty sure that was a body.. Sunday, May 05, 2013 11:37:32 PMTwitter for Android
11:15 at night and my grandma decides to make me not one but two peppers and egg sandwiches for lunch tomorrow at work Sunday, May 05, 2013 11:24:34 PMTwitter for Android
Woke up with my boxers on inside out... Wut Sunday, May 05, 2013 11:55:53 AMTwitter for Android
And for anyone who actually does give a fuck. I made it home safe. Sunday, May 05, 2013 3:59:05 AMTwitter for Android
@dannyrob88 walking solo in e hood. Hope I don't get robbed
In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet
Sunday, May 05, 2013 3:44:18 AMTwitter for Android
O man. This towns creepy as fuck. Desolate. W/e Sunday, May 05, 2013 3:20:35 AMTwitter for Android
3:19 am walk home. Might take an hour hhh. At least I'll lose weight exercise Sunday, May 05, 2013 3:20:05 AMTwitter for Android
Mals better though Saturday, May 04, 2013 11:14:17 PMTwitter for Android
Me and Danny are sending tongues to Antonia. Hhh Saturday, May 04, 2013 11:13:31 PMTwitter for Android
Me and danny beat these bitches fair and square by hitting two cups at once. We gave them a second chance and lost. Fuck Saturday, May 04, 2013 11:05:42 PMTwitter for Android
CEFOLA I MANZO Saturday, May 04, 2013 10:23:56 PMTwitter for Android
FELIZ CUMPLEAΓ‘OS GIOVANI MANZO Saturday, May 04, 2013 10:23:34 PMTwitter for Android
Eet burns? Zat ees how you know you are dreeeenking Saturday, May 04, 2013 10:22:03 PMTwitter for Android
This rum and coke blows. Saturday, May 04, 2013 10:17:42 PMTwitter for Android
Yo. If I lose this beer pong tournament, I'll shake a bitch Saturday, May 04, 2013 8:54:05 PMTwitter for Android
Real talk with my boy Danny Saturday, May 04, 2013 8:44:20 PMTwitter for Android
Me to Danny: "Bitch. Make me a taco" Saturday, May 04, 2013 7:55:03 PMTwitter for Android
I gotta cut this red bull and drinks out before I have a fuckin heart attack Saturday, May 04, 2013 7:44:57 PMTwitter for Android
Danny: "What Disney villain would you wanna fuck if you had the chance? Id definitely pick the evil queen in Snow White because she's kinky" Saturday, May 04, 2013 7:36:46 PMTwitter for Android
Cruella Deville? She's a milf. Saturday, May 04, 2013 7:34:13 PMTwitter for Android
Random thought: Do you think Will Smith banged those backing vocalist chicks n his song Miami? They sounded hot. Saturday, May 04, 2013 6:38:34 PMTwitter for Android
Really lookin forward to John's birthday celebraish, you guys. @SonicBlur23 and I are gonna run the beer pong table. Saturday, May 04, 2013 5:54:51 PMTwitter for Android
Pretty sure Samantha might murder me for being loud.... Saturday, May 04, 2013 1:37:43 AMTwitter for Android
I just know. :-) Saturday, May 04, 2013 1:30:34 AMTwitter for Android
Totally pulled the recovery tonight at the #eltres celebraish. Almost yacked, but the CEO was in the wizzah so I forced myself not to. Saturday, May 04, 2013 12:01:18 AMTwitter for Android
Yes. I'm just being the drunkest assed most hypocritical motherfucker ever in front of Mals mom. Wonderful. Friday, May 03, 2013 9:59:47 PMTwitter for Android
Crush cigs with the boss man. GFs mom catches me outside. Hhhhhhh Friday, May 03, 2013 7:52:26 PMTwitter for Android
Got a cup of water. My boss was like "what a bitch. You were taking shots weren't you" #silverfox Friday, May 03, 2013 6:35:05 PMTwitter for Android
@tomwcleary Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. You mean to tell me Bridgeport made it all the way to May without any homicides? #notevenremotelypossible Friday, May 03, 2013 2:15:06 PMTwitter for Android
Christ. Breath live at state college just came on and GOD damn it Mike McCready can play a guitar Thursday, May 02, 2013 9:25:05 PMTwitter for Android
@XtinaSchelin I thought you hated virtualbox... All the kids use VMWare
In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet
Thursday, May 02, 2013 9:23:28 PMTwitter for Android
Only three types of farts possible on the train: Silent but deadly, loud & deadly and just plain loud. You'll never sneak em... Thursday, May 02, 2013 9:20:29 PMTwitter for Android
Ummm. Not sure how I should take this but @MalJNew just called me a lesbian. Hhhhh Tuesday, April 30, 2013 10:25:34 PMTwitter for Android
I'm really curious on where the word cocky came from... Like... "Here's how awesome my huge dick is. Enjoy it" is LITERALLY cocky. Tuesday, April 30, 2013 8:28:46 PMTwitter for Android
But is this not the ugliest fucking building in the history of buildings? Fuckin scrap of peeling steel beams http://t.co/Yf1YVibVt2 Tuesday, April 30, 2013 1:29:29 PMTwitter for Android
Looking forward to #eltres Tuesday, April 30, 2013 11:21:37 AMTwitter for Android
This fuckin train takes takes too long. I'm moving to the city. Fuck this noise. Monday, April 29, 2013 11:45:09 PMTwitter for Android
Derick, Syskill, JP and Joe Stein are fuckin killing me right now. Monday, April 29, 2013 9:57:53 PMTwitter for Android
I would bang the Philly Cheese Steaks here at Woody's Monday, April 29, 2013 8:37:02 PMTwitter for Android
Gotta love the geeky flyers in the shitter at Google... http://t.co/oxGhaGrLsg Monday, April 29, 2013 7:14:49 PMTwitter for Android
Frankie: "Dan. You either take a picture with Joe or I floss your teeth" Sunday, April 28, 2013 7:58:45 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck. We're alcoholics. No wonder I yacked http://t.co/cyserGbQ7T Saturday, April 27, 2013 11:40:01 PMTwitter for Android
Like your style, girl: "Oh no. No kids. Unless I pick one out and he's flawless" Saturday, April 27, 2013 3:59:20 PMTwitter for Android
Know what I miss when I was a kid? The Mover and I used to stay up late and watch the Yanks on the west coast and eat apple pie a la mode Saturday, April 27, 2013 3:42:27 PMTwitter for Android
My ego is larger than Mets runs allowed Saturday, April 27, 2013 2:51:14 PMTwitter for Android
#lolmets Ya kinda gotta feel bad for them. Saturday, April 27, 2013 2:47:26 PMTwitter for Android
#lolmets Saturday, April 27, 2013 1:57:09 PMTwitter for Android
"I hate the Mets, but I love this song" - Phillies fan Saturday, April 27, 2013 1:48:28 PMTwitter for Android
@mets Phillies fans are ugly Saturday, April 27, 2013 1:42:20 PMTwitter for Android
Cleary, you degenerate: "Oh shit. I forgot to bet on this fame. Now it won't be as fun." #loveit #bromance Saturday, April 27, 2013 1:18:49 PMTwitter for Android
I'm sorry but CitiField food is god damn baller Saturday, April 27, 2013 1:16:43 PMTwitter for Android
The combo of these strutting jeans and boxer briefs make it impossible to take a leak. Can't whip it out, you guys. And I'm drinking a lot. Saturday, April 27, 2013 1:15:24 PMTwitter for Android
Jim Dolan's in his suite licking lollipops and slut vajay Friday, April 26, 2013 10:44:38 PMTwitter for Android
RT @KFCBarstool: Cuncel Da Celtics Friday, April 26, 2013 10:33:19 PMTwitter for Android
MO is a mofuggin boss Friday, April 26, 2013 10:32:53 PMTwitter for Android
If the Celtics come back and win, Danny's gotta do a nakey lap Friday, April 26, 2013 9:18:11 PMTwitter for Android
I really need to blast one out right now and this cab isn't the greatest for it. Friday, April 26, 2013 12:39:10 AMTwitter for Android
I am Queens Boulevard Friday, April 26, 2013 12:36:38 AMTwitter for Android
Yo for real. I better be as hot as my boss in 10 years Thursday, April 25, 2013 10:53:37 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck. I just pulled a George Brett at the bar. Use your imagination Thursday, April 25, 2013 9:33:36 PMTwitter for Android
Silver fox is killing it with swagger over at this ping pong bar Thursday, April 25, 2013 8:47:01 PMTwitter for Android
@Lennon just show up and grab his junk
In reply to @Lennon's tweet
Thursday, April 25, 2013 5:41:51 PMTwitter for Android
Really looking forward to getting schloppy at the dev drink night, you guys. Thursday, April 25, 2013 5:29:15 PMTwitter for Android
I need to stop going to bed after 4am... Thursday, April 25, 2013 4:16:25 AMTwitter for Android
How dumb I am. I just had a panic attack because I thought I left my phone on Gabe's desk b/c we were testing. UM. I used my phone all night Thursday, April 25, 2013 12:01:28 AMTwitter for Android
When I think of the name Nigel, I think of an ugly assed British dude with rotten choppers. Wednesday, April 24, 2013 7:35:48 PMTwitter for Android
Cuntface behind me on the train: shut your speaking hole. You're screaming. Wednesday, April 24, 2013 6:37:15 PMTwitter for Android
Joe S thought it was all my monitors that raised the temp by my desk. He didn't realize it was me. #struttin #bitches Tuesday, April 23, 2013 3:09:46 PMTwitter for Android
Legit takes these elevators hours to show up. Tuesday, April 23, 2013 1:05:37 PMTwitter for Android
This is #strutfest 2013 Tuesday, April 23, 2013 8:12:00 AMTwitter for Android
Gonna strut dat ass to work tomorrow with ripped Diesels and a pink T-shirt. #bitches Tuesday, April 23, 2013 12:05:37 AMTwitter for Android
#bitches Monday, April 22, 2013 11:41:37 PMTwitter for Android
Maybe I'm a cocky douchebag, but I just looked in the mirror and realized how important I am. Monday, April 22, 2013 11:10:40 PMTwitter for Android
The aunties are excellent Monday, April 22, 2013 11:02:02 PMTwitter for Android
CCs pitching like ass Monday, April 22, 2013 7:58:21 PMTwitter for Android
This train operator is an absolute nooblet at aligning this train onto the walkway platforms. Shits taking mad hours. Sunday, April 21, 2013 9:53:56 PMTwitter for Android
THAT is what they call a lazy Sunday... Sunday, April 21, 2013 8:21:07 PMTwitter for Android
311 Pandora is chill as fuck Sunday, April 21, 2013 3:30:07 PMTwitter for Android
#shitnogirlsays This thing has too many diamonds on it. Sunday, April 21, 2013 4:34:09 AMTwitter for Android
Happy 420 to ya, you guys Saturday, April 20, 2013 8:53:30 PMTwitter for Android
Mals. Chest out. Be proud Saturday, April 20, 2013 8:24:18 PMTwitter for Android
B.I.G P.O.P.P.A Saturday, April 20, 2013 7:39:29 PMTwitter for Android
Nostalgia: I loved when I had trail bologna and Doritos for breakfast at Mals. Saturday, April 20, 2013 4:40:16 PMTwitter for Android
The fucking party bus was sitting there pumping saying what the fuck on the party bus. 42d st. Friday, April 19, 2013 10:07:49 PMTwitter for Android
Derick: "Joe's like- 'App 2 is down'" Friday, April 19, 2013 9:51:16 PMTwitter for Android
I'm like fuck it. I ain't losin shit over these bitches. Look at all these fucks I don't give. Friday, April 19, 2013 9:27:24 PMTwitter for Android
Up there. As much as round things. Friday, April 19, 2013 9:04:49 PMTwitter for Android
SILVER FOX is awesome Friday, April 19, 2013 7:39:49 PMTwitter for Android
I might have just accidentally pissed on my phone... Friday, April 19, 2013 2:46:56 PMTwitter for Android

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