5975 tweets posted from Twitter Web Client
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Someone please kill Joe Steins cats he has at home. I'm allergic as fuck to his clothing. Monday, July 29, 2013 10:12:59 AMTwitter Web Client
Who's the broad in Dan's office. What's the over/under they've banged while he was "away on business?" Friday, July 26, 2013 5:30:45 PMTwitter Web Client
That time the release engineer has no fucking idea when the releases are #Booker #Thisfuckingplace Friday, July 26, 2013 1:09:52 PMTwitter Web Client
7-zip has the absolutely most fucking convoluted command line parameters Friday, July 26, 2013 12:38:11 PMTwitter Web Client
I look hot today. I'd tap me Friday, July 26, 2013 10:43:55 AMTwitter Web Client
A touch of the gay for Dave Grohl is a bit of an understatement Friday, July 26, 2013 10:29:19 AMTwitter Web Client
Son of a bitch. They made me a Foursquare Superuser and I've been up all night correcting shit Friday, July 26, 2013 3:18:29 AMTwitter Web Client
@kfcbarstool quote: "You can take that phone and and check my dick in on 4 Square for all I care. I’m the mayor of that pussy girl!" Thursday, July 25, 2013 10:13:46 PMTwitter Web Client
Our building really needs to turn off this fucking Windows 3.1 dinging fire alarm Thursday, July 25, 2013 4:29:07 PMTwitter Web Client
#RoyalBaby is so fucking insignificant it's not even funny. It's one human out of 8 billion. Get over yourselves Wednesday, July 24, 2013 2:38:26 PMTwitter Web Client
Just rebooted a production server and in the server log asking why I did the reboot, I wrote "VPN was being a dick" Wednesday, July 24, 2013 2:26:28 PMTwitter Web Client
May I ask what the fuck is the purpose of a living, immobile, hermaphroditic rock? And why would Chileans eat it? http://t.co/ukCW1Q72pu Wednesday, July 24, 2013 1:07:05 AMTwitter Web Client
SKYPE NEEDS AN INSTANT UNSEND HOTKEY on the grounds that I just IMed our new Dir. of Engineering "I was so pissed at our bathrooms today" Monday, July 22, 2013 3:59:37 PMTwitter Web Client
Just wrote a script to crash our system rapidly to test our error logging and alerting. Testing against production.... Monday, July 22, 2013 1:25:15 PMTwitter Web Client
I accidentally pasted one of my tweets into a config file. It was about sexting. oops Friday, July 19, 2013 3:16:48 PMTwitter Web Client
ok so not only did I kick their keg upstairs, I went back to my desk and Stein told me I smelled like a brewery Thursday, July 18, 2013 6:10:17 PMTwitter Web Client
Just got thrown out of a meeting Wednesday, July 17, 2013 4:08:48 PMTwitter Web Client
But why hasn't the Motorola X been announced yet? Wednesday, July 17, 2013 12:52:50 PMTwitter Web Client
@XtinaSchelin Immediately make Eric leave his vacation to fix this.
In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet
Wednesday, July 17, 2013 12:51:34 PMTwitter Web Client
This is why Firefox is a fucking piece of shit that just crashes after idling for a wil. Fucking fix it: https://t.co/QN0OFHEl4d Tuesday, July 16, 2013 9:52:00 AMTwitter Web Client
@portfolioso Fucking GetGlue app. Shameless ad/plug. I hate that shit
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, July 16, 2013 1:11:38 AMTwitter Web Client
harvey is a fuckin boss: http://t.co/a3hJpYU5dO Tuesday, July 16, 2013 1:10:19 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin meeting ruined my flow. Monday, July 15, 2013 5:19:12 PMTwitter Web Client
I WANT A MOTOROLA X PHONE STAT Monday, July 15, 2013 11:02:03 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin spazz. My 10,00th tweet was "Fuck. Hope I didn't hit my 10k tweet yet" Friday, July 12, 2013 9:32:49 PMTwitter Web Client
Welp, that's it folks. I planned an epic tweet for my 10k and missed i by drinking. Tweeted "Fuck. Hope I didn't hit my 10k tweet yet" Friday, July 12, 2013 9:31:39 PMTwitter Web Client
Me: "This is not scaling. We really need to start sharding" Stein: "That's nasty!" Me: "SHARD. not shart. Jeez" Friday, July 12, 2013 5:52:43 PMTwitter Web Client
Well shit. I tried to sneak one out at the keg in the office and ripped one. I think some support dude heard me Friday, July 12, 2013 5:43:58 PMTwitter Web Client
This new software manager Rao and Gabe need to shut the fuck up. I have earplugs and headphones on and I steal hear their loud asses Friday, July 12, 2013 12:31:00 PMTwitter Web Client
Tweet 9992... Friday, July 12, 2013 11:34:17 AMTwitter Web Client
If we figure out this Itinerary builder API problem, I'll do the nakey dance. That shit cray Friday, July 12, 2013 11:29:41 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm very disappointed how my twitter is less batshit crazy than it used to be. #maybeitprobablystillis I'll improve after 10,000 Friday, July 12, 2013 2:09:49 AMTwitter Web Client
Wasn't aware of #SharkNado tonight. My life is now over. Friday, July 12, 2013 1:52:36 AMTwitter Web Client
We hope Verizon doesn't fuck up the launch like the Galaxy Nexus... Thursday, July 11, 2013 10:06:13 PMTwitter Web Client
WILL HAVE NEW PHONE BY SEPTEMBER #MotoX: http://t.co/qoo23ul22C Thursday, July 11, 2013 10:05:09 PMTwitter Web Client
I've un-deaded my company. See, simple things can turn my "fuck off attitude" positive. Glad they realized that. Thursday, July 11, 2013 3:36:21 PMTwitter Web Client
Why does Firefox have massive cocks all over it's shitty architecture? Crashes every 5 minutes. Wednesday, July 10, 2013 2:22:19 PMTwitter Web Client
I almost pulled a Joe Pesce, GoodFellas style on Derick for running his fucking mouth Wednesday, July 10, 2013 12:21:27 PMTwitter Web Client
PetSmart is the fuckin devil Tuesday, July 09, 2013 1:24:09 PMTwitter Web Client
One step closer to leaving Monday, July 08, 2013 10:15:47 AMTwitter Web Client
@smstemp Murica
In reply to @smstemp's tweet
Monday, July 08, 2013 2:32:14 AMTwitter Web Client
Ok So um. Google Music all access is exactly like spotify. It just frickin plays anything you want whenever. Tight Monday, July 08, 2013 1:39:47 AMTwitter Web Client
Trying Google Music. It's free for a month, so we'll see. Last day @ 7.99 - It goes up to 9.99 tomorrow Sunday, June 30, 2013 1:10:46 PMTwitter Web Client
The reason terrorists hate the United States is because our dumbass government doesn't mind its own fucking business: http://t.co/rnabwDPDRp Saturday, June 29, 2013 11:40:42 PMTwitter Web Client
I almost got into not one, but three bar fights last night. JEEZZZZ Saturday, June 29, 2013 10:00:07 AMTwitter Web Client
It's 9AM and my hangover is requesting a halal cart gyro... But why are they only selling breakfast food? Friday, June 28, 2013 9:28:31 AMTwitter Web Client
I need 6 beers pronto. stat. immediately. ahora mismo. sofort. Thursday, June 27, 2013 5:49:37 PMTwitter Web Client
Girl get your life together: "I can't find my glasses, I legit flashed Perry, and I have a thong on" Thursday, June 27, 2013 3:52:52 PMTwitter Web Client
Can someone arrest ARod for murder or actually kill him so we can get this fucking joker off my team? Thursday, June 27, 2013 12:29:25 PMTwitter Web Client
KILN: Y U SO SLOW? Thursday, June 27, 2013 11:29:43 AMTwitter Web Client
@VZWpaul @MarkAbsher @VZWnews Actually make 4G go faster than 56k in Lower Manhattan and I'll be happy
In reply to @VZWpaul's tweet
Thursday, June 27, 2013 10:05:27 AMTwitter Web Client
Went to make myself an iced coffee and I think more coffee was all over the kitchen floor than in my cup #fail Thursday, June 27, 2013 10:04:02 AMTwitter Web Client
@teixeiramark25 you're a pussy. 100% guaranteed to get injured every year. Get off my team. Wednesday, June 26, 2013 9:20:25 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @KFCBarstool: 1 yr later and my @TWCable_NYC internet still fucking sucks. Thanks for nothing Time Warner. Hope all the bad things happe… Wednesday, June 26, 2013 9:03:56 PMTwitter Web Client
Xtina: "chrome + iframes + stylish == festering rat cock" Wednesday, June 26, 2013 1:34:17 PMTwitter Web Client
Meanwhile in Russia :/ ... #USA!!!!! Wednesday, June 26, 2013 11:30:06 AMTwitter Web Client
Motorola X Phone? Y U NO ON VERIZON? Wednesday, June 26, 2013 10:21:11 AMTwitter Web Client
What should my 10,000th tweet be, you guys? Wednesday, June 26, 2013 9:58:14 AMTwitter Web Client
Night, biddies Wednesday, June 26, 2013 2:01:46 AMTwitter Web Client
@MarkAbsher I wish Verizon would focus on smartphones that don't suck instead of this robotic Droid bullshit.
In reply to @MarkAbsher's tweet
Monday, June 24, 2013 1:05:23 PMTwitter Web Client
i cant tell if this new dev is a dude or a chick based on the top of his/her head peeping out of a cube Monday, June 24, 2013 12:56:21 PMTwitter Web Client
Someone give our intern an ambien. Stop coming over here 75 times and being hyper on a Monday morning. Jesus Monday, June 24, 2013 9:50:17 AMTwitter Web Client
Just wrong IMed one of our interns about how I ate lunch already, was still hungry and how fat I was #whoops Friday, June 21, 2013 1:47:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Hughlon: "I got some Percocet for allergies" Friday, June 21, 2013 1:22:34 PMTwitter Web Client
I might bang this wrap I made myself. Ham, turkey, provolone, bologna, oil and arugula. OMNOMNOMNOM Friday, June 21, 2013 12:39:22 PMTwitter Web Client
DevOpsJoe: "Is scary when production corporate site is patch and reboot take more than three minute on cloud server" Friday, June 21, 2013 1:18:54 AMTwitter Web Client
I need my bed Thursday, June 20, 2013 11:27:33 AMTwitter Web Client
Fucking Federal Reserve... Causing the markets to blow up two days in a row. Thursday, June 20, 2013 10:18:59 AMTwitter Web Client
Jesus fucking Christ Eric, you useless cunt. Stop fuckin badgering me with idiotic questions Thursday, June 20, 2013 7:09:29 AMTwitter Web Client
I mean, I'd be going to the bar, but our system crashes every single day of the week and twice on Sundays. Wednesday, June 19, 2013 6:16:44 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm talking too loud? Okay. Now I wont talk at all. Wednesday, June 19, 2013 12:08:50 PMTwitter Web Client
Our software is a fuckin piece of shit Wednesday, June 19, 2013 10:49:07 AMTwitter Web Client
Getting https configured for Microsoft webservices/APIs can actually suck my dick right now. Wednesday, June 19, 2013 10:07:49 AMTwitter Web Client
This bitch needs more cores and RAM: http://t.co/kTvGFkIgT8 Tuesday, June 18, 2013 3:41:28 PMTwitter Web Client
Our Marketing department in charge of our website can actually go fuck themselves Monday, June 17, 2013 9:47:56 AMTwitter Web Client
John: "You're going to Hawaii with us... We're all gonna hold hands and drop a deuce in a volcano." Wednesday, June 12, 2013 3:34:13 PMTwitter Web Client
I'd like to know why there are three motherfuckers in all 3 of the stalls, and why our office is so jeesco Wednesday, June 12, 2013 10:13:03 AMTwitter Web Client
Our HR director? Uncool, super serious, all business, follows rules by the book. Her assistant? A cray. CRAY. Friended me on FB @ 12AM Wednesday, June 12, 2013 12:37:47 AMTwitter Web Client
OMG FIOS MOBILE APP FOR ANDROID IS OUT. I MIGHT CUM Wednesday, June 12, 2013 12:15:31 AMTwitter Web Client
I wish the fucking intern wouldn't steal my nerf gun Tuesday, June 11, 2013 1:40:56 PMTwitter Web Client
This is a test tweet with a url in it: http://t.co/F1XMkskXkV Tuesday, June 11, 2013 12:34:04 PMTwitter Web Client
The only thing that would make this story more awesome would be if the chick murdered him Dexter style: http://t.co/OJfpMMvT1e Tuesday, June 11, 2013 12:15:24 PMTwitter Web Client
It's okay... No one wants to blow up this shitty assed building Tuesday, June 11, 2013 12:14:11 PMTwitter Web Client
"This is a test from the lobby command center. BTW, the NYPD and FDNY are investigating a suspicious package and floors 8-12 were evacuated" Tuesday, June 11, 2013 12:02:52 PMTwitter Web Client
this new dba looks like she just got dug up fromthe grave Tuesday, June 11, 2013 11:39:38 AMTwitter Web Client
xanax.com/booker Tuesday, June 11, 2013 9:48:40 AMTwitter Web Client
Why isn't this workinggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg fuck Monday, June 10, 2013 9:39:08 PMTwitter Web Client
Honestly, as a soon-to-be former Google Fanboy and Apple hater, Google I/O was ASS compared to what Apple announced at WWDC. Monday, June 10, 2013 8:42:54 PMTwitter Web Client
I want it to snow! Monday, June 10, 2013 8:33:17 PMTwitter Web Client
Everything fuckin sucks Monday, June 10, 2013 6:27:43 PMTwitter Web Client
Joe Stein lives! Friday, June 07, 2013 12:32:09 PMTwitter Web Client
AMBER ALERT. WHERE IN NYC IS JOE STEIN? Gonna have to go on a manhunt Friday, June 07, 2013 12:19:02 PMTwitter Web Client
Not sure how I feel about becoming the Foursquare Mayor of Burger King Friday, June 07, 2013 9:49:52 AMTwitter Web Client
Just got a skype from @MalJNew: http://t.co/1hUq1j8yZs Friday, June 07, 2013 9:12:55 AMTwitter Web Client
"On This Day in 1995, Ten is certified 9 times Platinum." just gave me chills Thursday, June 06, 2013 12:04:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Basically admitted to my boss I was all fucked up when I did last night's maintenance (after it went perfectly, of course) Thursday, June 06, 2013 10:24:03 AMTwitter Web Client
Is this a joke? People in Louisiana and Mississippi think sunshowers are the devil beating his wife? CRAY http://t.co/u16huUDQM2 Thursday, June 06, 2013 10:05:24 AMTwitter Web Client
Kindly suck a dick and go away while I fix my computerl problems. k Thx Die Wednesday, June 05, 2013 12:46:59 PMTwitter Web Client
Can't get a fuckin thing done today. Wednesday, June 05, 2013 11:54:48 AMTwitter Web Client
@MarkAbsher Yes. That tree is a cray. Kind of reminds me of Angry Orchard cider
In reply to @MarkAbsher's tweet
Wednesday, June 05, 2013 12:23:47 AMTwitter Web Client