5975 tweets posted from Twitter Web Client
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The fact that we're running web servers that are joined to three different domains that don't trust one another can eat my dick. Wednesday, October 16, 2013 3:43:08 PMTwitter Web Client
New intern's gotta be the Pool's Closed meme guy's younger brother. http://t.co/Mi8gupalIB Wednesday, October 16, 2013 9:40:01 AMTwitter Web Client
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Lol. Firing my laser.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013 9:31:34 PMTwitter Web Client
Three people asked me to print something for them today. Do I look like I fucking secretary? Tuesday, October 15, 2013 5:49:56 PMTwitter Web Client
Just ordered this and shipped it to my office: http://t.co/Rr9q7Kchvx Tuesday, October 15, 2013 5:04:51 PMTwitter Web Client
no wonder everyone hates php. Some API shit I did in CURL from the shell in 30 secs took me 40 mins to port to php because it's convoluted Tuesday, October 15, 2013 2:30:08 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @KFCBarstool I'm in full blown hate mode today. If you got hate in your heart let it out! #HateHateHateHate
In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet
Tuesday, October 15, 2013 1:34:22 PMTwitter Web Client
I hate everything today Tuesday, October 15, 2013 1:32:38 PMTwitter Web Client
New intern is probably a serial killer... Monday, October 14, 2013 4:59:55 PMTwitter Web Client
My mom just called me at work. Topics included Masters and Johnson, the carnival in my town, vacation days, my lunch and an interview Monday, October 14, 2013 1:20:35 PMTwitter Web Client
Just spotted this on Reddit. I imagine this is what keeps our servers running: http://t.co/LSsEUox50w Sunday, October 13, 2013 11:45:49 PMTwitter Web Client
Fixing problems at #Booker: "well, then, i believe i know the issue, and that's that i need to take a tire iron to Nikolay" Friday, October 11, 2013 4:45:15 PMTwitter Web Client
Firefox... Now WORSE than Internet Explorer
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, October 11, 2013 1:47:36 PMTwitter Web Client
Statistics prove that Firefox is a fucking piece of shit. http://t.co/P02gIFqyPb Friday, October 11, 2013 1:47:17 PMTwitter Web Client
The front end dev who rips ass all the time is now talking about drinking breast milk. #THEFUCK Friday, October 11, 2013 10:10:11 AMTwitter Web Client
For sure not RT @uberfacts Cuddling with a teddy bear releases the same amount of endorphins as having sex - Putting you in a good mood. Thursday, October 10, 2013 2:08:52 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm gassier than Gaurav today Thursday, October 10, 2013 2:08:26 PMTwitter Web Client
I think I bitched so much about how many meetings we had that I'm no longer welcome, because I was uninvited from like 5 of them. Wednesday, October 09, 2013 4:55:14 PMTwitter Web Client
@mozilla Firefox is a piece of shit. Wednesday, October 09, 2013 2:25:18 PMTwitter Web Client
Our iOS guy is legit carving a pumpkin right now.... Tuesday, October 08, 2013 4:29:27 PMTwitter Web Client
SCRIPT EVERYTHING Tuesday, October 08, 2013 4:24:42 PMTwitter Web Client
Jesus Christ Google, you suck balls. Nice error message, you redundant fuck http://t.co/a6zFL7UhgJ Monday, October 07, 2013 10:02:36 AMTwitter Web Client
@KFCBarstool Not as bad as Dexter becoming a lumberjack and stealing a dead body from the morgue
In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet
Monday, October 07, 2013 1:11:42 AMTwitter Web Client
@smstemp You have the blood pressure of a 7 year old. Do you not eat salt?
In reply to @smstemp's tweet
Friday, October 04, 2013 6:18:17 PMTwitter Web Client
FUCK THIS PLACE. Dry as a bone. Both kegs tapped. Friday, October 04, 2013 5:47:04 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm in the mood to get shitfaced on margs tonight. Also, it's 3:30 and biddies are hittin' up the keg, so I'ma do the same son Friday, October 04, 2013 3:30:08 PMTwitter Web Client
shitshow: http://t.co/hWfnd8nR7i Friday, October 04, 2013 12:59:09 PMTwitter Web Client
@MalJNew I'M SETTING UP FUCKING SERVERS FOR CUNTS IN PHONENIX
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Thursday, October 03, 2013 9:33:34 PMTwitter Web Client
THE ONLY THING I DO IS DEAL WITH MOTHERFUCKIN BROKEN SOFTWARE ALL GOD DAMN DAY. Thursday, October 03, 2013 9:28:02 PMTwitter Web Client
Apple: Now just as unreliable as #booker. #503 #serverproblems #servicenotavailable http://t.co/VttnJsmFzg Thursday, October 03, 2013 8:23:03 PMTwitter Web Client
If this fucking application crashes, just one more time, I'm going to kill a kitten Thursday, October 03, 2013 4:17:19 PMTwitter Web Client
"Our CPU dashboard looks like a fucking mountain range" - My boss http://t.co/ZRA6c1AFYd Thursday, October 03, 2013 1:19:19 PMTwitter Web Client
THAT TIME THE SERVERS ARE SO FUCKED UP YOUR PHONE IS GETTING TEXTED ONCE EVERY 10 SECONDS. I SHUT IT OFF Thursday, October 03, 2013 12:57:50 PMTwitter Web Client
The first photograph ever taken looked like shit: http://t.co/hE9YJra8PF Guy should have been ashamed of the quality.... Thursday, October 03, 2013 11:24:50 AMTwitter Web Client
I need to estivate. Summer is too damn hot! RT @uberfacts Sleeping through hot and dry periods like summer is called estivation. Wednesday, October 02, 2013 4:27:15 PMTwitter Web Client
My to do list is Re God Damn Diculous Wednesday, October 02, 2013 12:46:21 PMTwitter Web Client
Just made my work Skype profile pic Barstool's MikeFrancesa Numbah One T-Shirt Wednesday, October 02, 2013 12:06:20 PMTwitter Web Client
MIND. BLOWN. Just found out that green and blue Monster energy drinks are the same flavor but one is low carb. OOPS Tuesday, October 01, 2013 4:25:58 PMTwitter Web Client
Happy October, bitches Tuesday, October 01, 2013 12:00:12 AMTwitter Web Client
#bitches You can't get more top notch than I am. Fuck all you suits who think you know it all. Monday, September 30, 2013 11:59:05 PMTwitter Web Client
Our facebook app was broken. Came home from the bar. Bitch on call had no clue. CTO said we couldn't be drunk and I fixed it anyway. SUCK IT Monday, September 30, 2013 11:38:14 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm also gassier than Gaurav, except I don't rip ass loudly at my desk or walk around in circles creepily while methane dissipates Monday, September 30, 2013 4:12:11 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm legit tallying the number of times Steve Lo comes to my desk. We're at 7 times for the day so far. Monday, September 30, 2013 4:11:28 PMTwitter Web Client
I correlate the fact that I tweet much less and fewer batshit tweets to me no longer being a raging alcoholic. Monday, September 30, 2013 12:52:41 PMTwitter Web Client
Just got an email from the CTO that today is the last day of the month. I'm going to promote you to CEO, Obvious Solutions, LLC. Monday, September 30, 2013 9:56:26 AMTwitter Web Client
You can do amazing things with curl. APIs are legitimate Sunday, September 29, 2013 11:18:12 PMTwitter Web Client
If Cashman keeps Hughes in 2014, he seriously has brain damage. Who goes 1-10 at HOME in 16 starts. BYE Thursday, September 26, 2013 2:48:05 PMTwitter Web Client
My problem with this image is that they left out the part where Firefox crashes: https://t.co/w1MP8sEzzw Tuesday, September 24, 2013 2:32:33 PMTwitter Web Client
This is how my release is going, except pretend this is an ugly chick: http://t.co/EJoA2kn7E5 Tuesday, September 24, 2013 2:27:52 AMTwitter Web Client
TMobile is ready to push an OTA to the Moto X. Verizon continues to be 7 years behind in software updates. FASTER! FASTER! Tuesday, September 24, 2013 1:53:48 AMTwitter Web Client
Could have sworn I heard Electric Guest- This Head I Hold playing outside, but it was just crickets. #bookertrippin #fried Monday, September 23, 2013 8:07:56 PMTwitter Web Client
For real though. How the fuck is Firefox using 2.5GB of RAM. Fuck that browser Monday, September 23, 2013 7:51:54 PMTwitter Web Client
Anup, it's release night. I don't give a fuck about your Unit Test XML result parsing app you want me to integrate into the tests. Fuck off Monday, September 23, 2013 6:09:01 PMTwitter Web Client
Bunch of fucking suits Monday, September 23, 2013 2:51:14 PMTwitter Web Client
I FUCKING hate how corporate this fucking company has become. I cannot stand it and they can fuck themselves. Monday, September 23, 2013 2:51:03 PMTwitter Web Client
I have the same ringtone on my Moto X as Ray Donovan. I'm a God damn baller. Monday, September 23, 2013 2:01:56 PMTwitter Web Client
There is no reason I would need this at this point, but if I had money to blow and it didn't matter, GIMMIE: http://t.co/kTpgZSCPn4 Monday, September 23, 2013 10:54:34 AMTwitter Web Client
Google absolutely killed it with the new Nexus 7 commercial. ADORABLE http://t.co/15akjUwrWB Sunday, September 22, 2013 10:12:13 PMTwitter Web Client
Someone put a dick in Carrie Underwood's mouth to shut her up. Absolute disgrace. Butchering the Beatles Sunday, September 22, 2013 9:46:50 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @Kmarkobarstool: Boobs presented by Sofia Vergara http://t.co/J3bv1eH2Qu Sunday, September 22, 2013 9:42:16 PMTwitter Web Client
YES!! Bobby Cannavale wins! Sick role in Boardwalk Empire last season as Gyp Rosetti, although I didn't need to see your dick bro. Sunday, September 22, 2013 9:39:59 PMTwitter Web Client
Been playing with the Foursquare API. I can now check in to work from the command line or script it. I usually forget to from my phone Sunday, September 22, 2013 5:14:26 PMTwitter Web Client
I mean, KFC is a funny ass writer, but he can eat a bag of dicks for this tweet: https://t.co/wgPCc3OAfm Sunday, September 22, 2013 2:48:59 PMTwitter Web Client
Polly wants a cracker Sunday, September 22, 2013 11:04:24 AMTwitter Web Client
First time touching Drupal modules and permissions since 2010... SUCKS. "ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" -Chris Huntley @__JLu @GadsdenMarc Thursday, September 19, 2013 4:58:37 PMTwitter Web Client
41 mins and counting waiting on fuckin suit approval to reboot a server that will have no impact on anything. Used to make the call myself Thursday, September 19, 2013 1:32:23 PMTwitter Web Client
Working at a startup (well maybe we're not anymore), this is a fascinating read about Google's early days: http://t.co/XQdmxpT71F Thursday, September 19, 2013 12:09:16 PMTwitter Web Client
#booker, where our devs spend a month optimizing the codebase and the end result is 65% worse performance.... We're awesome you guys Wednesday, September 18, 2013 5:19:01 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @XtinaSchelin: Sweet monkey christ, why is @FogBugz breaking so hard? #sadface Wednesday, September 18, 2013 11:38:16 AMTwitter Web Client
Alina = Alma
Malori = Maroney

According to 22 Cortland St. Fire Wardens...
Wednesday, September 18, 2013 11:38:03 AMTwitter Web Client
@FogCreek's On Demand FogBugz/Kiln is choking on five cocks this morning Wednesday, September 18, 2013 11:27:15 AMTwitter Web Client
My GI tract can really go fuck itself the past few weeks. This is some bullshit (literally) Tuesday, September 17, 2013 8:05:47 PMTwitter Web Client
But what the fuck is this query doing? Deleting our 900GB DB character by character? Fucking shit is running all day Tuesday, September 17, 2013 5:22:48 PMTwitter Web Client
@XtinaSchelin What is your opinion of using a positive anymore? http://t.co/mjXO5boQNi Tuesday, September 17, 2013 1:04:14 AMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu Sometimes I write notes to myself as tweets and search them later using my twitter app.
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Monday, September 16, 2013 4:19:36 PMTwitter Web Client
Disable UAC: REG ADD HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Policies\System\ /v EnableLUA /t REG_DWORD /d 00000000 /f Monday, September 16, 2013 4:04:12 PMTwitter Web Client
HOLD THE PHONE. New York State changed the licenses again? They're no longer flexible? The fuck. That was NY's signature Monday, September 16, 2013 1:32:17 PMTwitter Web Client
What in the actual fuck is wrong with skype this morning. Monday, September 16, 2013 11:39:25 AMTwitter Web Client
CUNCEL DA ROLLOUT Monday, September 16, 2013 9:03:06 AMTwitter Web Client
Stein grabbed a beer. I told him I had to catch up "Yeah but this is my first one... Well, I had a 6-pack at lunch" Friday, September 13, 2013 5:45:57 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm getting drunk tonight and playing some steel drums Friday, September 13, 2013 5:27:41 PMTwitter Web Client
Had to take my wallet out of my back pocket. It was so fat with hundos, it was detracting from my ass struttin' abilities #douchebagtweet Thursday, September 12, 2013 9:58:32 AMTwitter Web Client
Quote of the year, via @KFCBarstool: "Nobody really gives a shit about God and Satan. You know what people love? Fucking and Harry Potter." Wednesday, September 11, 2013 1:40:38 PMTwitter Web Client
I am Zoney McZonerson today Wednesday, September 11, 2013 12:35:15 PMTwitter Web Client
Mal. You can't wear that red skirt in the office and strut dat ass around without me wanting to bite it. Ya heard? Monday, September 09, 2013 4:00:50 PMTwitter Web Client
This place is a fucking circus http://t.co/PfNWLxUsxC Monday, September 09, 2013 10:57:54 AMTwitter Web Client
DBAs just added an email trigger every time there's a deadlock on production. I'm getting fucking spammed. Piece of shit system... Monday, September 09, 2013 9:11:45 AMTwitter Web Client
Cheers to this fucking idiot. Paid my credit card twice. Now I have a positive balance Sunday, September 08, 2013 11:48:14 PMTwitter Web Client
@Fantasy_Mania Football day in the office http://t.co/Wsvq0vK6uq Friday, September 06, 2013 6:05:18 PMTwitter Web Client
Christ, @Lennon. Way to sneak up on me and interrupt my Facebook, Twitter, Instagram browsing. Thought the system crashed or it was my boss. Friday, September 06, 2013 4:16:11 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin 95% CPU all day on our DB, fuckin deadlocks. Jesus Christ... Friday, September 06, 2013 3:30:01 PMTwitter Web Client
How awesome would it be if Putin just sucker punched Obama in the face? Fuckin Putin is an animal Friday, September 06, 2013 11:34:38 AMTwitter Web Client
@ky9 But I don't like the software on the HTC One or GS4.
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Thursday, September 05, 2013 9:25:17 AMTwitter Web Client
@ky9 I love it but if you wait a bit, you can customize its colors and the price will drop. Other good ones are the Galaxy S4 or HTC One
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Thursday, September 05, 2013 9:24:36 AMTwitter Web Client
Might have to pull the trigger and do a bulimic on this BK I just ate.... Trust me. I'll feel better. Thursday, September 05, 2013 12:12:50 AMTwitter Web Client
At least Hughes' collapse isn't as grand as Tebow's Wednesday, September 04, 2013 6:54:58 PMTwitter Web Client
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL @PhilHughes65 to the bullpen. I said this a year ago bro: http://t.co/lBSLU8QiVc AND https://t.co/VHjGE6mS96 Wednesday, September 04, 2013 6:47:11 PMTwitter Web Client
They wanted to go to the bar, but I'm over here gettin hammered writing some deployment scripts for our new load balanced staging gig Wednesday, September 04, 2013 6:38:41 PMTwitter Web Client
beer and free salad... Breakfast of champions! Wednesday, September 04, 2013 6:37:39 PMTwitter Web Client
@VZWSupport @__JLu Nice bot, Verizon... Now actually fix your shit so I can auto activate phones without calling a live rep
In reply to @VZWSupport's tweet
Wednesday, September 04, 2013 3:08:34 PMTwitter Web Client