5975 tweets posted from Twitter Web Client
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this new mute feature is baller. What's the over/under like 95% of my followers mute me for batshit tweets. Whatever Monday, May 12, 2014 1:47:31 PMTwitter Web Client
Ladies and Gentlemen, our VP of Service Deivery: http://t.co/JsTQ80doJu Friday, May 09, 2014 10:52:21 AMTwitter Web Client
Reviewing our "standard operating procedures" written by this suit asshole who doesn't understand tech. A bunch of rubbish bullshit. F- Wednesday, May 07, 2014 10:23:09 AMTwitter Web Client
Cockiest signature ever, said no one ever: "Sent from my Windows Phone. Which is better than your iPhone." Except I work with this dude... Tuesday, May 06, 2014 9:38:33 AMTwitter Web Client
JLaw yacked in Madonna's house, got told to get it together by Miley and smelled Bradd Pitt. I am fine with these antics Friday, May 02, 2014 10:41:32 AMTwitter Web Client
Just Marked Dakota Roadhouse closed on Foursquare. It's a sad day. Friday, May 02, 2014 10:29:39 AMTwitter Web Client
This new Foursquare company strategy is fucking bullshit. This will kill the whole platform, guaranteed: http://t.co/YwTkeao5J1 Thursday, May 01, 2014 9:13:36 PMTwitter Web Client
Have I mentioned lately that Firefox is a fucking piece of shit? http://t.co/hmcLGjhyj8 Wednesday, April 30, 2014 4:32:02 PMTwitter Web Client
Our alcoholic sysops team is arguing over how the new on call schedule will fit into our drinking habits Wednesday, April 30, 2014 2:55:51 PMTwitter Web Client
The B.O. originating from my boss is kind of out of control for a white guy. Two cubes down. Wednesday, April 30, 2014 9:57:03 AMTwitter Web Client
What's the over under the girl who wrote this letter has been executed? I'd say probably 80/20 http://t.co/DCILM98R53 Wednesday, April 30, 2014 9:30:59 AMTwitter Web Client
The grammar in this email made me cry. I judged harshly. http://t.co/OWnDal2iHx Tuesday, April 29, 2014 9:41:45 AMTwitter Web Client
"How do I go about creating more space/compressing the C drive?" -Actual support ticket. Yes. We'll just create extra HD sectors out of air Monday, April 28, 2014 5:27:27 PMTwitter Web Client
Interviewed a guy and asked him to compare F5 and A10 load balancers. "A10 isbetter because it is 5 more and an A is better than an F" Monday, April 28, 2014 3:33:13 PMTwitter Web Client
Take Ray Bans out of case. Frame is cracked in two and the lens fell out. Happy Monday to you also, cunts Monday, April 28, 2014 10:33:57 AMTwitter Web Client
If you ask me a question the second I walk in before I'm settled, or Skype me within the first 5 minutes I'm here, you're a fuckin asshole Monday, April 28, 2014 9:14:25 AMTwitter Web Client
Our CTO doesn't understand why we shouldn't do a tier 2 firewall installation the same night as a major rollout </facepalm> #dumbass Friday, April 25, 2014 1:48:28 PMTwitter Web Client
If you spell Michelle with one L, you're an asshole Friday, April 25, 2014 1:34:13 PMTwitter Web Client
REG DELETE /y HKLM\Software\Policies\Google Ya fuckin cocksuckers Friday, April 25, 2014 10:09:19 AMTwitter Web Client
IT is now pushing corporate policies to change my chrome homepage, and it's corrupting my profile daily. Time to move along. Friday, April 25, 2014 9:37:09 AMTwitter Web Client
Company just did a scavenger hunt for answers on our intranet. if I didn't win this shit, they're fuckin mistaken. I RUN THIS BITCH Thursday, April 24, 2014 1:27:14 PMTwitter Web Client
My shirt's on inside out. Blow me if you don't like it. Wednesday, April 23, 2014 5:07:06 PMTwitter Web Client
@MalJNew Fuck Nickelback
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Wednesday, April 23, 2014 5:05:11 PMTwitter Web Client
Four years ago today was Tour de Fairfield. How Haliskoe didn't kill us with his DWI remains a miracle... Wednesday, April 23, 2014 4:17:44 PMTwitter Web Client
Greg Kelly on #GDNY is a clown and I love it. Tuesday, April 22, 2014 8:31:08 AMTwitter Web Client
"I want to peel my banana the way I don't have to spit something out of my mouth" - Colin Monday, April 21, 2014 5:37:44 PMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu Watched it the whole way through my junior year. Streamed it to Cleary's XBox. Way before streaming was cool. Fantastic series.
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Monday, April 21, 2014 3:25:58 PMTwitter Web Client
I really hope no one comes near me that much right now, considering I went to town on beers at the bar and smell like a brewpub Thursday, April 17, 2014 3:06:12 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @KFCBarstool: Michael Kay with the worst joke in the history of baseball broadcasting https://t.co/lqSL2czzkI Thursday, April 17, 2014 7:22:03 AMTwitter Web Client
It's very apparent that these fuckers don't trust me any more and will hardly let me touch production Wednesday, April 16, 2014 4:01:12 PMTwitter Web Client
Gassy as a bastard Wednesday, April 16, 2014 3:42:45 PMTwitter Web Client
FIREFOX IS A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT Wednesday, April 16, 2014 2:36:28 PMTwitter Web Client
THE MTA DID SOMETHING RIGHT FOR ONCE: http://t.co/vdtUMs1epp Tuesday, April 15, 2014 9:15:19 AMTwitter Web Client
I just watched the most horrifying sandy vagina commercial... It is not on Youtube, or else I'd troll everyone with it... Tuesday, April 15, 2014 12:57:21 AMTwitter Web Client
My heel feels fantastic. Thank you to my nurse mother who loves splinters - took a giant piece of glass out of it. Monday, April 14, 2014 5:14:37 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm mad fucked up... hhhh Saturday, April 12, 2014 10:43:51 PMTwitter Web Client
solamente tweetar en español Saturday, April 12, 2014 10:38:30 PMTwitter Web Client
If you ever have to work with SQL Server Integration Services, kindly kill yourself. This technology is BULLSHIT Friday, April 11, 2014 5:51:21 PMTwitter Web Client
ear secks tho: https://t.co/7h4diKvqrA Friday, April 11, 2014 4:56:01 PMTwitter Web Client
Apparently, that error means that my password was too long. Fucking assholes
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, April 11, 2014 4:34:37 PMTwitter Web Client
Useful fucking error message, @Microsoft. Tells me exactly what's wrong http://t.co/xfH1xEz0En Friday, April 11, 2014 4:17:54 PMTwitter Web Client
Gonna need to work with Tun Tun in a bit. Be right back while I get an interpreter. Friday, April 11, 2014 3:35:16 PMTwitter Web Client
Everyone is bitching about Scandal and how it sucked tonight. I couldn't even tell you what the show was about off the top of my head... Friday, April 11, 2014 2:33:24 AMTwitter Web Client
Google still hasn't improved hangouts since it launched and it's still more of a piece of shit than old GChat Friday, April 11, 2014 2:00:14 AMTwitter Web Client
There is no saving this place. We're beyond fucked Thursday, April 10, 2014 12:56:33 PMTwitter Web Client
@kerbear88 Just got a push notification to my phone that JPJ just joined Instagram Wednesday, April 09, 2014 5:31:26 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm a Gmail Abuser. My GScript went awry... Whoopise http://t.co/jHTHjX7qmA Wednesday, April 09, 2014 4:07:02 PMTwitter Web Client
Cuncel my fantasy team this week. @tomwcleary is running train all over Emilio's Big Guys Wednesday, April 09, 2014 3:22:50 PMTwitter Web Client
Buncha douchebags at Home Depot pointing out that I saved NOTHING. 0. NIL http://t.co/hR8FGHven9 Wednesday, April 09, 2014 3:13:53 PMTwitter Web Client
Fucking project managers. When I don't answer because they asked a stupid question, all they can do is escalate to VPs who are more clueless Wednesday, April 09, 2014 2:16:47 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @BarstoolJJ: Someone reached out about bars before the Yankee game with "Do you know the bodega where you can smoke weed in the back?" N… Wednesday, April 09, 2014 1:21:55 PMTwitter Web Client
I have a "pizza party lunch with the CTO" . Going to have a fucking blast. 😴 👎 Wednesday, April 09, 2014 11:59:39 AMTwitter Web Client
Our security guy has had the largest boner the past couple of days because of this heartbleed vulnerability. BRO RELAX Wednesday, April 09, 2014 10:51:49 AMTwitter Web Client
I need a fuckin interpreter to understand this dude Tun Tun. No fucking clue what this guy is even talking about Tuesday, April 08, 2014 4:41:30 PMTwitter Web Client
New Twitter redesign wasn't yet pushed to me, but it's some BULL shit. I hardly use Facebook because it's over cluttered. No need to copy Tuesday, April 08, 2014 4:40:01 PMTwitter Web Client
Frusciante's new album blows. Get back on the drugs man, your current shit's weak Tuesday, April 08, 2014 1:21:53 PMTwitter Web Client
Overheard from my mouth in the office: "Where are all the managers, and why don't they know jack shit? Bunch of morons." Tuesday, April 08, 2014 12:13:53 PMTwitter Web Client
Yankee home opener and I'm fixing fucking config files because PMs are useless and suck at life Monday, April 07, 2014 3:07:22 PMTwitter Web Client
Gonna run train on those $3 Coors lights at O'Haras in a couple minutes Friday, April 04, 2014 12:35:23 PMTwitter Web Client
Whether you like Ron Paul or not, you gotta agree that Liberatarian girl is just about a smokeshow: http://t.co/ejGhNgWMFV Friday, April 04, 2014 9:42:58 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm uncoordinated as fuck right now Friday, April 04, 2014 9:35:07 AMTwitter Web Client
40 Oz. to Freedom = the most productive I've been in weeks! Wednesday, April 02, 2014 11:06:11 AMTwitter Web Client
Listening to 40 Oz. to Freedom as it's getting warmer is just about the most fantastic thing possible Wednesday, April 02, 2014 10:50:01 AMTwitter Web Client
I am walking around the office drinking water out of a a wine glass because fuck it, why not. Tuesday, April 01, 2014 2:58:27 PMTwitter Web Client
Dakota bar closed. A little piece of me died inside. WHERE AM I GONNA GET DRUNK ON THEM 90S ROCK TUNES YOU GUYS Friday, March 28, 2014 5:18:55 PMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu Not gonna lie, every tweet I write, I think about the best possible wording with the end goal of you favoriting it.
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Friday, March 28, 2014 4:05:13 PMTwitter Web Client
BRING ME A BEER CUNTS Friday, March 28, 2014 3:53:24 PMTwitter Web Client
This is exactly what it's like where I work. http://t.co/nboungzi5z Friday, March 28, 2014 11:46:15 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm going to punch someone in the face this morning Friday, March 28, 2014 9:35:32 AMTwitter Web Client
Emma Stone. Just sayin Thursday, March 27, 2014 5:08:05 PMTwitter Web Client
If I keep running my mouth at this shithole, I'm getting fired. Thursday, March 27, 2014 12:21:41 PMTwitter Web Client
Stein's blasting 90s techno #PumpUpTheJam Tuesday, March 25, 2014 5:57:39 PMTwitter Web Client
Colin: "Whenever someone says Smoke in the rollout chat, I imagine they're playing a smoking game... App8 is rolled...everyone smoke!" Tuesday, March 25, 2014 2:05:15 PMTwitter Web Client
Booker. We divide by 0 Tuesday, March 25, 2014 8:59:35 AMTwitter Web Client
Place is so fucked. @MalJNew takes one sick day and we're at a standstill on the grounds that SUITS DON'T FUCKING KNOW ANYTHING #FeelBetter Monday, March 24, 2014 3:00:58 PMTwitter Web Client
You can't even begin to describe how fucking shitty my fantasy baseball team is Monday, March 24, 2014 1:10:51 PMTwitter Web Client
I think I almost punched a guy in the face the last time I drank with Russians. And I don't fight. Thursday, March 20, 2014 6:58:04 PMTwitter Web Client
Might be a little less intense tonight though, as Alexey is missing. Thursday, March 20, 2014 6:57:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Last time I was at the Russian place, I don't remember being at the Russian place and Uncle Vanya charged us a $200 cleanup fee Thursday, March 20, 2014 6:57:12 PMTwitter Web Client
Russian programmers + Niraj just invited us out to the Russian place. This cannot and will not end well. Thursday, March 20, 2014 6:56:42 PMTwitter Web Client
MSMQ is a piece of shit Thursday, March 20, 2014 11:52:55 AMTwitter Web Client
Whoever fuckin burnt popcorn in here is an asshole Thursday, March 20, 2014 9:57:37 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm handwriting a formal letter. Legit haven't done this since middle school. The struggle is real. Wednesday, March 19, 2014 9:33:55 PMTwitter Web Client
There's a baby downstairs screaming bloody murder Tuesday, March 18, 2014 8:27:00 AMTwitter Web Client
How am I supposed to carry on with my GSexting if Gchat is down? Monday, March 17, 2014 1:15:59 PMTwitter Web Client
After a dev explained how he fixed an infinite loop causing cascading failures in our system: "At least it wasn't a gremlin" - Stein Monday, March 17, 2014 11:41:59 AMTwitter Web Client
F that noise. Glad I don't have to deal with this BS: RT @briandonathan Grand Central Terminal. #EastHarlemExplosion http://t.co/OYWxRU6aBV Wednesday, March 12, 2014 5:46:03 PMTwitter Web Client
When we make a one line bugfix in our app: http://t.co/A1ECzqnbhl Wednesday, March 12, 2014 5:44:15 PMTwitter Web Client
This client can 100% suck a fucking dick Wednesday, March 12, 2014 4:43:43 PMTwitter Web Client
I hope this place burns to the ground Thursday, March 06, 2014 4:34:32 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm at a loss for words how disrespectful and awful this guy is. Thursday, March 06, 2014 2:37:03 PMTwitter Web Client
NO WONDER THE INTERNET SUCKED HERE. 1980s wiring and like 10 splitters Wednesday, March 05, 2014 2:17:59 PMTwitter Web Client
This release is the biggest piece of shit going Tuesday, March 04, 2014 1:59:28 PMTwitter Web Client
Viruses blow my mind: http://t.co/LuWXoGm1zX Monday, March 03, 2014 7:21:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Welp, this release is about as legitimate as Time Warner Cable Monday, March 03, 2014 2:06:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Verizon 4G. Now faster than Time Warner http://t.co/dNy2egHIz1 Monday, March 03, 2014 1:41:43 AMTwitter Web Client
Got an AJ Burnett #34 Yankee Jersey couple years back as a groomsman gift. Guy sux. Now, McCann's got that number. ENJOYYYYYY #Winning Saturday, March 01, 2014 2:36:52 PMTwitter Web Client
If I ever start managing like McGivern, please do me a favor and shoot me in the fuckin head. We'd all be better off. Thursday, February 27, 2014 4:05:42 PMTwitter Web Client
It's hard being young from the slums eatin' 5 cent gums wonderin' where you're next meal's comin from Thursday, February 27, 2014 3:44:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Average page load time increased from 2-4 seconds for 2 minutes. We are classifying this as an outage. FUCKING IDIOTS Thursday, February 27, 2014 11:20:16 AMTwitter Web Client