5975 tweets posted from Twitter Web Client
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Weezer's new album is generic and mediocre. Maybe one good song. The rest are just eh Friday, October 10, 2014 12:20:01 PMTwitter Web Client
https://t.co/O67TDlpc7S hsjdfhakjsdfhakdsfhlaskdfhalskdfjhalsfkdjh OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG Friday, October 10, 2014 11:09:45 AMTwitter Web Client
Powershell is pissing me off. If it formats the output to a table, how do I get one value's string so I can use it later? Thursday, October 09, 2014 10:49:19 AMTwitter Web Client
I don't care if I was interviewing @Pontifex at Sirius. If Dave Grohl walked by, I'd run right after him, mid-interview @RockNationRadio Thursday, October 09, 2014 9:33:42 AMTwitter Web Client
Hyper-V is the worst piece of shit hypervisor there is. The management of it is the most convoluted Wednesday, October 08, 2014 3:28:04 PMTwitter Web Client
Cloudflare is a really shitty CDN Wednesday, October 08, 2014 9:23:50 AMTwitter Web Client
Was about to get a coffee and the entire NYPD walked in front of me with complex orders. WELP Tuesday, October 07, 2014 11:21:01 AMTwitter Web Client
AIN'T NOBODY BREAKING UP MY PARTY Friday, October 03, 2014 10:14:31 AMTwitter Web Client
"Ain't nobody good with reports, B" -Edgar Friday, October 03, 2014 10:08:15 AMTwitter Web Client
Paid for coffee with @googlewallet on my Moto X and got funny looks. I'm sure if I used Apple Pay, it would've been fine. Friday, October 03, 2014 10:03:43 AMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu Public again Friday, October 03, 2014 10:03:29 AMTwitter Web Client
It shouldn't take 5 minutes to cross Broadway because they're backing up bulldozers and digging the streets up forEVAR Friday, October 03, 2014 10:01:30 AMTwitter Web Client
And hours later after continually dismissing what I said, I was right. #morons Wednesday, October 01, 2014 1:01:29 PMTwitter Web Client
Suits who are overly scared of getting hacked and enable untested, unproven WAF technology with all the highest security settings in prod Wednesday, October 01, 2014 12:41:34 PMTwitter Web Client
Refreshing pages to see content updates is so 1999, you guys.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, October 01, 2014 10:48:40 AMTwitter Web Client
Gmail pet peeve: If you delete a draft, the UI doesn't instantly update to remove it. Going on for > 1 YEAR. Come on @gmail #googlefail Wednesday, October 01, 2014 10:48:16 AMTwitter Web Client
@ky9 I thoroughly enjoy reading your students' cray cray quotes
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Tuesday, September 30, 2014 5:57:36 PMTwitter Web Client
http://t.co/icxfqROr0r Tuesday, September 30, 2014 11:54:48 AMTwitter Web Client
If you spend a half billion dollars in the offseason and miss the playoffs, you're a miserable failure, you guys.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, September 30, 2014 10:15:11 AMTwitter Web Client
Conference call in one ear. Snoop (Lion?) in the other. Doggystyle Friday, September 26, 2014 3:41:44 PMTwitter Web Client
LOL DRUPAL. So glad I washed my hands of that bullshit. So much drama between Marketing and SysOps because Drupal BLOWS. Friday, September 26, 2014 3:18:06 PMTwitter Web Client
Colin. Shut your pompous mouth Tuesday, September 23, 2014 12:37:53 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm so allergic to fucking cats that when the dude next to me walked in, I sneezed 5 times Tuesday, September 23, 2014 10:13:53 AMTwitter Web Client
Coworker discussion with X:

[4:54:37 PM] Xtina: and [he] doesn't talk like he deepthroated a bullhorn"
Monday, September 22, 2014 4:54:22 PMTwitter Web Client
We've got this Selenium guy who just cant fucking write tests that work for shit. So. Many. False. Positives. Bro get your life together. Friday, September 19, 2014 5:22:32 PMTwitter Web Client
"Have you ever gone and Facebook and been like 'FUCK, THEIR CPU SEEMS KINDA HIGH?' No, you say 'Facebook is slow today'" -@BadPointer #32pac Friday, September 19, 2014 2:33:34 PMTwitter Web Client
#hatehatehate Friday, September 19, 2014 9:26:51 AMTwitter Web Client
I just walked in and everyone is pissing me off already. Please explain how I get 3 bugs assigned to me before 6AM Friday, September 19, 2014 9:20:56 AMTwitter Web Client
Playing dos games while I wait on this deployment. #causemylifeisdopeandidodopeshit Wednesday, September 17, 2014 9:59:38 AMTwitter Web Client
LOL lets make changes to our payment processing and not test it before we release it to all our clients Wednesday, September 17, 2014 9:27:44 AMTwitter Web Client
The management where I work are bigger bumbling idiots than Jim Dolan and his kazoo band Tuesday, September 16, 2014 5:32:30 PMTwitter Web Client
These jag offs literally can't do anything without me Tuesday, September 16, 2014 4:01:10 PMTwitter Web Client
Is it October 17th yet? Need my Sonic Highways fix. DAVE COME AT ME Tuesday, September 16, 2014 3:50:27 AMTwitter Web Client
Nice Drupal favicon on the new corporate website, asshats Monday, September 15, 2014 12:51:26 PMTwitter Web Client
Where I work, we put bad code under our pillows at night and expect the bug fairy to fix it. Monday, September 15, 2014 11:15:17 AMTwitter Web Client
Find it hysterical that there's a show called black-ish. Gonna create a show called The Whities and see how the crowd reacts to that one... Monday, September 15, 2014 10:37:11 AMTwitter Web Client
@kerbear88 Would murder them if they put heat on my train this early.
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Monday, September 15, 2014 9:47:11 AMTwitter Web Client
Testing! Sunday, September 14, 2014 7:25:51 PMTwitter Web Client
Cuncel da release Sunday, September 14, 2014 5:17:47 PMTwitter Web Client
Asked a dev which DB tables we log certain info to. The response: "Various tables" Friday, September 12, 2014 2:45:59 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm not paying any attention to this Skype call whatsoever. Zero. #uselessmeetings Wednesday, September 10, 2014 10:46:32 AMTwitter Web Client
Misquoted in the office today, talking about smartphone size "Yours doesn't feel as good in the hand as mine does" Tuesday, September 09, 2014 6:05:13 PMTwitter Web Client
Yeahhhhh. Not carrying myself too well you guys. Bossman just said I was being too loud.#amaturehour Thursday, August 28, 2014 5:27:47 PMTwitter Web Client
Pretty sure I smell like a brewery to anyone I keep running my mouth to. because I'm talking A LOT. My boss is laughing at me. HE KNOWS Thursday, August 28, 2014 5:10:40 PMTwitter Web Client
I am sick of hearing this guy's fucking voice on conference calls. Die in a bus fire. Thursday, August 28, 2014 4:36:51 PMTwitter Web Client
Need moar tito's shots Thursday, August 28, 2014 4:02:46 PMTwitter Web Client
Accidentally took a 2 hr lunch and hung out with this older degenerate at the bar. Thursday, August 28, 2014 4:02:23 PMTwitter Web Client
Killed a moth like a boss right as it was sliding under my closet door to eat my suits. Thursday, August 28, 2014 1:55:00 AMTwitter Web Client
FINE PRINT THO: "In addition, you hereby grant Bank of America and its service providers a limited power of attorney" NO NO NO DECLINE!! Thursday, August 28, 2014 1:41:28 AMTwitter Web Client
Haters gon hate, but this is GOOD SHIT http://t.co/vvdRiSyJgV Wednesday, August 27, 2014 10:29:13 PMTwitter Web Client
Set WshShell = createObject("Wscript.Shell")

do
WshShell.Run "C:\AnnoyingMusic.mp3", 0
wscript.sleep 268000
loop
Wednesday, August 27, 2014 8:55:47 PMTwitter Web Client
What in the actual fuck did Google do to the fonts in Chrome 37. For fucks sake. Wednesday, August 27, 2014 5:30:30 PMTwitter Web Client
Asked the Director of Engineering when code freeze was. He didn't know. #facepalm Wednesday, August 27, 2014 10:08:23 AMTwitter Web Client
quote of the day via @XtinaSchelin: "We knit something together using unicorn hair and wishes?" #BOOKER Friday, August 22, 2014 4:57:30 PMTwitter Web Client
Protip: If you put the ice in 3 seconds before dumping the water on your head, it's too warm and you're a pussy Friday, August 22, 2014 2:09:34 AMTwitter Web Client
@RMerlinDev Since I updated to 376.45, I cannot use Filezilla to SFTP the router. This used to work, now it throws exitcode 127. Ideas? Tuesday, August 19, 2014 5:28:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Girls Gone Wild: Gaza Striptease. Get me a camera crew. STAT. Friday, August 15, 2014 10:58:19 PMTwitter Web Client
This week on Facebook: People dumping ice water on themselves Friday, August 15, 2014 5:31:42 PMTwitter Web Client
@LennonImagine Not complaining at all. At 48 PTO per year, this is THE BEST JARB EVAR
In reply to @LennonImagine's tweet
Friday, August 15, 2014 5:06:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Guy next to me was blasting dubstep all day in his headphones. The one time I accidentally let some air out, he's not listening #fail Friday, August 15, 2014 5:01:11 PMTwitter Web Client
A test or two... Friday, August 15, 2014 2:36:19 PMTwitter Web Client
So is it normal to be accruing 2 days of vacation every 15 day pay period? Why do I even bother coming in so much? Friday, August 15, 2014 12:05:49 PMTwitter Web Client
Pretty intense screaming match going on between our Russian SysOps guy and TMobile customer support. I'd hate to be that rep.... Thursday, August 14, 2014 5:41:30 PMTwitter Web Client
I MUST Buy Sonic Highways on Vinyl: http://t.co/NJMUEUqUZn Those album covers tho Thursday, August 14, 2014 4:35:53 PMTwitter Web Client
@dannyrob88 What the fuck is #etvbtt and why do you tweet it 95 times a day? Wednesday, August 13, 2014 2:49:24 PMTwitter Web Client
In case you ever wanted to know why an exclamation point is called a bang: http://t.co/aQyyW7DNyy Wednesday, August 13, 2014 2:47:54 PMTwitter Web Client
Not listening to anything these morons say in this meeting because it's just a fight about branching and environments... every time. Monday, August 11, 2014 3:18:40 PMTwitter Web Client
https://t.co/cKhGQGMqcv @Fantasy_Mania Monday, August 11, 2014 3:03:55 PMTwitter Web Client
Have a question to everyone doing the ice bucket challenge. Why do you put in the ice 2 seconds before dumping it? It's still warm assholes Saturday, August 09, 2014 9:27:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Colin hasn't stopped talking for 20 minutes straight. Go to Japan already Thursday, August 07, 2014 11:27:15 AMTwitter Web Client
Do you think the ice on Pluto is soft or crunchy? Thursday, August 07, 2014 2:34:57 AMTwitter Web Client
Doing a rollout in a pitch dark room with a thinklight shining down on me. It's like camping, but for geeks (i keeeeeed) Wednesday, August 06, 2014 11:35:12 PMTwitter Web Client
In Newwww Yorkkkkk. Concrete jungle where trains are infested with bugs and verminnnnn there's nothing you can dooooo http://t.co/AD3QCUtH3k Wednesday, August 06, 2014 3:32:48 PMTwitter Web Client
Coworker just brought in donuts. Is he Dexter Morgan? Wednesday, August 06, 2014 9:44:41 AMTwitter Web Client
Bossman is currently bitching at me about an error that HE caused. Still my fault somehow though. Tuesday, August 05, 2014 12:35:31 PMTwitter Web Client
Why the fuck am I on call again. Wasn't I just on call? Monday, August 04, 2014 5:51:10 PMTwitter Web Client
Colin. Shut up about CloudFlare. I'm trying to write some scripts. Friday, August 01, 2014 2:58:16 PMTwitter Web Client
Maybe if this guy prays harder, his real user monitoring tests will stop failing. Friday, August 01, 2014 1:23:02 PMTwitter Web Client
Can I go home now? Wednesday, July 30, 2014 4:54:57 PMTwitter Web Client
DERP: $x=shell_exec($_GET['yay']); Wednesday, July 30, 2014 4:50:40 PMTwitter Web Client
I think I have the most ridiculous twitter account in all of the land Wednesday, July 30, 2014 1:38:43 PMTwitter Web Client
Now they're praising my coffeemaking skills #baristo #madskills #cray Wednesday, July 30, 2014 1:23:58 PMTwitter Web Client
Doubting Colin kept telling me it was my fault the build broke and I was like nah dude your drive is full. #relax Wednesday, July 30, 2014 1:22:14 PMTwitter Web Client
1. Who's the dick who took the last of the office coffee without making a refill pot Wednesday, July 30, 2014 1:10:18 PMTwitter Web Client
I keep going on and an on about water filtration pitchers... Wednesday, July 30, 2014 1:00:04 PMTwitter Web Client
Colin. Shut the fuck up. Wednesday, July 30, 2014 12:56:32 PMTwitter Web Client
The Director of Engineering legit roams around the office like a creepster on Skype calls with his bluetooth headset. Bro, for srs? Wednesday, July 30, 2014 12:52:24 PMTwitter Web Client
Oh man.. I have absolutely no business being at my desk right now and everyone is asking me 5 million questions and has 20 problems Wednesday, July 30, 2014 12:39:07 PMTwitter Web Client
Wait... Isn't Peter Pan a dude? Why is this chick playing him? http://t.co/b1x3bN6yIR #dafuq Wednesday, July 30, 2014 11:24:10 AMTwitter Web Client
Didn't leave for work yet. You woke me up at 6:30 tho. #sorrynotsorry Wednesday, July 30, 2014 11:20:56 AMTwitter Web Client
Gotta protect those illegal immigrants from getting kicked out on taxpayer's nickle and dime! You GO NYC! http://t.co/GBsOtQrg6x Tuesday, July 29, 2014 11:43:59 PMTwitter Web Client
Really want to get those $1 garlic knots downstairs, but It'll be like $1.08 with tax and I don't want to break $2 and have a ton of coins Tuesday, July 29, 2014 5:28:58 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @Frankalankster: Don't be the person someone else wants you to be. They still won't like you and they'll lose respect for you. Be you. F… Tuesday, July 29, 2014 5:03:37 PMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu @MalJNew Believe it or not, my job tweet complaints are valid.
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Tuesday, July 29, 2014 5:01:21 PMTwitter Web Client
Colin: "I made a bash script to loop through a list of init scripts and kick the services that aren't started. I call it kickinit" Tuesday, July 29, 2014 5:00:10 PMTwitter Web Client
Used a business card to fix my spacebar, which was not working when pressed on the left corner because the leverage wire's jacked #LikeABoss Tuesday, July 29, 2014 2:04:36 PMTwitter Web Client
Just realized that my settings marked my images as sensitive. This is not the case, so I removed it. Tuesday, July 29, 2014 9:26:01 AMTwitter Web Client
AT MY SIGNAL, UNLEASH HELL @Fantasy_Mania @tomwcleary @Onethirdof3x5 @Lessard_Eric #fm14 (see y'all tomorrow) Saturday, July 26, 2014 12:23:36 AMTwitter Web Client
The fuck does this guy want at 5:40 on a summer Friday... Can't you see this is dedicated Reddit time? Friday, July 25, 2014 5:38:49 PMTwitter Web Client
@MalJNew just referred to WalMart as Wally World. #Murica Tuesday, July 22, 2014 4:55:26 PMTwitter Web Client