Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit



5975 tweets posted from Twitter Web Client
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@ky9 I would commit a crime if my FiOS went out. It's like the best thing ever
In reply to @ky9's tweet
 Monday, November 12, 2012 10:20:48 PMTwitter Web Client
Uberfacts basically said I need shrooms to be creative. Welp, no wonder I'm so uncreative Monday, November 12, 2012 10:19:28 PMTwitter Web Client
This new iOS dev we hired looks like a mix between Curly from the Three Stooges and Anthony Martinez from Fairfield 2010 Monday, November 12, 2012 4:25:00 PMTwitter Web Client
@VtotheFlo @KeriAHarrison Duh. I'm awesome bitches
In reply to @VtotheFlo's tweet
 Monday, November 12, 2012 9:22:50 AMTwitter Web Client
It's okay though. There's a solution for people like TK. #cuntpunt Monday, November 12, 2012 9:13:28 AMTwitter Web Client
Yes, TK. I appreciate you yelling at me in front of DLK that it's ALL my fault we all stayed too late drinking in the office last Friday. Monday, November 12, 2012 9:03:31 AMTwitter Web Client
Lost my upper vocal range, probably screaming 90s at Daktoa Bar 3 weeks ago. it better be back soon.... :/ Friday, November 09, 2012 2:11:54 AMTwitter Web Client
Feel like a new man. Got a big boy SSD, Windows 8, Office 2013 (thx BizSpark) and a new phone case/screen protector! Friday, November 09, 2012 12:29:43 AMTwitter Web Client
"You suck at your job, you've got a Napoleonic complex and I'm gonna fuck your mother if I ever meet her" -Billy Walsh Thursday, November 08, 2012 5:07:10 PMTwitter Web Client
I am the slackiest slacker slackin' Thursday, November 08, 2012 2:43:41 PMTwitter Web Client
Finally fixed my twitter app. Imported the missing tweets and for the word count page, it sorts based on usage (rather than alphabetical) Thursday, November 08, 2012 2:07:40 AMTwitter Web Client
Woooooo snow! In Manhattan. Weird. Usually it's too warm here Wednesday, November 07, 2012 11:56:42 AMTwitter Web Client
So John Denver predicted the future with his song Rocky Mountain High? Wednesday, November 07, 2012 10:37:31 AMTwitter Web Client
Barack Hussein Obama. El presidente. Wednesday, November 07, 2012 9:51:05 AMTwitter Web Client
Parsing twitter's JSON in php and arrays and objects can seriously blow me right now. Tuesday, November 06, 2012 3:11:03 PMTwitter Web Client
Jeans to me: "You understand. Chris does not" #duh #imtheshit #knowitall Tuesday, November 06, 2012 3:09:28 PMTwitter Web Client
Whats the worst thing to say to a girl out of these three: "when's it due?" "it's that time of the month" or "stop being a cunt" Tuesday, November 06, 2012 2:32:21 PMTwitter Web Client
I HAVE THIS SHIT RT @UberFacts “Grammar Pedantry Syndrome” is a form of OCD in which sufferers need to correct every grammatical error. Tuesday, November 06, 2012 12:36:59 PMTwitter Web Client
"i asking if we are allow to create an admin account" ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER. DO YOU SPEAK IT? How do we hire these fucking people Tuesday, November 06, 2012 12:33:50 PMTwitter Web Client
#DLK2012 #JEANS #DATASS Tuesday, November 06, 2012 11:08:27 AMTwitter Web Client
Remember folks - your vote doesn't mean jack shit, so why bother. If certain states count more, what is the point? #freedomisanillusion Tuesday, November 06, 2012 9:10:44 AMTwitter Web Client
@MalJNew suck it the most
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
 Tuesday, November 06, 2012 9:03:50 AMTwitter Web Client
It fetches the right data by tweet ID. Now I just need to have it write it back to the DB Tuesday, November 06, 2012 3:19:09 AMTwitter Web Client
Yeahhhhh buddy. Already started working on my tool that's going to import the 11 days of tweets i didn't archive into my db. Tuesday, November 06, 2012 3:18:51 AMTwitter Web Client
fuckin legitimate. fixed a bug in my twitter app and now the times aren't like 4 hours off. Enfuckinjoyyyyyy http://t.co/QJWJvSF Tuesday, November 06, 2012 2:55:34 AMTwitter Web Client
3135 is the smallest order of a cyclotomic polynomial whose factorization contains 7 as a coefficient. Monday, November 05, 2012 4:54:41 PMTwitter Web Client
@Lennon get back to work
In reply to @Lennon's tweet
 Monday, November 05, 2012 3:14:48 PMTwitter Web Client
Firefox is a fucking inferior web browser. Freezing, memory leaking, single processed piece of shit Monday, November 05, 2012 3:02:57 PMTwitter Web Client
Jay is annoying the fuck out of me today. He has his phases.Today, he's needy Monday, November 05, 2012 1:47:24 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm sick of seeing your manly-jacked yet still anorexic body all over Facebook. Put it away. It's gross. Monday, November 05, 2012 12:23:06 PMTwitter Web Client
Keyboards should have memory Monday, November 05, 2012 10:26:48 AMTwitter Web Client
this conference call is a bunch of horse shit Friday, October 26, 2012 3:35:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Ok i fixed my shit. For fuck's sake. I'll manually import the missing data next week Friday, October 26, 2012 2:25:12 PMTwitter Web Client
Twitter's API can suck it Friday, October 26, 2012 2:20:03 PMTwitter Web Client
shit on a stick/. not please bitches Friday, October 26, 2012 2:14:05 PMTwitter Web Client
OK i think i fixed this shit i hope Friday, October 26, 2012 2:10:22 PMTwitter Web Client
fucking twitter. shut down the old API on 10/11 so that broke my http://t.co/ssCC6i3 app.... just noticed now. Friday, October 26, 2012 2:08:18 PMTwitter Web Client
FUCK. the importer broke on the 10th Friday, October 26, 2012 1:52:36 PMTwitter Web Client
I hope i didnt break this shit Friday, October 26, 2012 1:45:15 PMTwitter Web Client
new version of twitter tools sucks balls. Will not use (it's for my tweets app). I do like how they fixed the datetime issue though Friday, October 26, 2012 1:36:16 PMTwitter Web Client
I honestly think Gio is the funniest human around Friday, October 26, 2012 10:41:32 AMTwitter Web Client
I want Windows 8 and a new SSD Friday, October 26, 2012 10:31:02 AMTwitter Web Client
Jesus christ. I just CCd @MalJNew on an email to the WHOLE dev team that I meant to BCC. Me bitching at them to stop breaking the build Friday, October 26, 2012 10:10:44 AMTwitter Web Client
At least I get to strut dat ass Friday, October 26, 2012 9:34:19 AMTwitter Web Client
xanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanax Friday, October 26, 2012 9:33:41 AMTwitter Web Client
Not only did I wake up pissed off, my face looks like a fucking pizza pie and the 4/5/6 decided not to run, and it's fucking too hot in here Friday, October 26, 2012 9:33:24 AMTwitter Web Client
This is what my to-do list looks like at work tomorrow: http://t.co/WMDY6LZ Friday, October 26, 2012 12:22:38 AMTwitter Web Client
REALLY lookin forward to the weekend, you guys Thursday, October 25, 2012 12:35:39 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm the man... With the plan. I break the ice with my ass. Thursday, October 25, 2012 11:27:36 AMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu They took my access away
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
 Thursday, October 25, 2012 11:27:08 AMTwitter Web Client
yeah yeah yeah fuckin suck a dick bitch Wednesday, October 24, 2012 5:22:44 PMTwitter Web Client
Joel, hop off my dick Wednesday, October 24, 2012 5:06:11 PMTwitter Web Client
Blatantly denied the VP of Engineering when he asked me to sit on a maintenance tonight #nahson #mayorofthisbitchandrunthisshit Wednesday, October 24, 2012 4:13:27 PMTwitter Web Client
I don't know what the fuck TunTun is talking about? Wednesday, October 24, 2012 11:04:00 AMTwitter Web Client
Really wish it was tomorrow at this time, minus a few hours, you guys Wednesday, October 24, 2012 1:02:41 AMTwitter Web Client
Niraj - bring me a mother fuckin' beer, bitch. Can't you see I'm the mayor here on Foursquare? You're welcome Tuesday, October 23, 2012 5:14:48 PMTwitter Web Client
I don't care about the debate. I'm just going to watch puppies on youtube all night: http://t.co/MpAeh9T Monday, October 22, 2012 9:02:55 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @RepRonPaul: The internet revolution is a liberty revolution http://t.co/sttmKWmi Monday, October 22, 2012 4:52:29 PMTwitter Web Client
"There was no downtime during this morning's rollout. That's how I roll" Monday, October 22, 2012 3:36:10 PMTwitter Web Client
Alexey: "Well there won't be any downtime, only some issues where it won't be available for a minute or so" #engineerdefinitionofdowntime Monday, October 22, 2012 2:50:10 PMTwitter Web Client
Suck my dick for making me do a 7am maintenance today, a 10PM tonight and 6AM tomorrow. #RAISE #fuckoff Gonna do a startup w/ @__JLu instead Monday, October 22, 2012 11:49:31 AMTwitter Web Client
Not a bug. Someone tried to use IE7. Our app should detect this and say "You are useless at life. Please off yourself" Monday, October 22, 2012 9:37:24 AMTwitter Web Client
I thought @Lennon was supposed to be a public facing, non-crazy twitter. She's still tweeting about tits/funbags and jeans' ass. #mystyle Monday, October 22, 2012 9:22:32 AMTwitter Web Client
This is some fuckin bullshit that I was forced to work from home tomorrow because of a release. It's pink day/ a bake sale for cancer. Monday, October 22, 2012 1:40:40 AMTwitter Web Client
X-Tina just beat me 10-5 in fooseball. Bitch ass trick Friday, October 19, 2012 7:01:57 PMTwitter Web Client
Ghost ride the whip... Ghost ride... YOUR MOM Friday, October 19, 2012 6:04:46 PMTwitter Web Client
"Wait a minute! You use bigger ones if you want something fluffy?" Friday, October 19, 2012 5:40:07 PMTwitter Web Client
Ohhh I think this beer fucks you up. Oh my Friday, October 19, 2012 5:24:32 PMTwitter Web Client
Welp, like everyone at my company recently, looks like @DadBoner is getting fired also. #bogus Friday, October 19, 2012 3:46:56 PMTwitter Web Client
Could really use some beers right now, you guys. Friday, October 19, 2012 3:40:48 PMTwitter Web Client
Struttin that ass, brogramming: http://t.co/a3HKOqT Friday, October 19, 2012 1:11:09 PMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu Now that's a REAL abuser's list
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
 Friday, October 19, 2012 11:33:59 AMTwitter Web Client
I just realized I may come across as a fuckin whackjob on twitter to other, more normal people Friday, October 19, 2012 11:21:14 AMTwitter Web Client
"going to lose the whole day playing with joes balls"-pat "you can do anything you want with joes balls"-mal Friday, October 19, 2012 11:17:26 AMTwitter Web Client
albs is trying to bang rollo. i can see it in his eyes Friday, October 19, 2012 10:33:07 AMTwitter Web Client
Derick, regarding the new pumpkin beer: "If a pumpkin took a piss, that's what it would taste like" Friday, October 19, 2012 9:59:34 AMTwitter Web Client
Everyone loves my balls. They all want to play with them Friday, October 19, 2012 9:19:15 AMTwitter Web Client
On a brighter note, there will be no parade to clutter up the vicinity of my office building and make me rage on the subways Thursday, October 18, 2012 6:05:55 PMTwitter Web Client
CUNCEL DA YANKEES Thursday, October 18, 2012 5:46:29 PMTwitter Web Client
As I said in Game 2 of the ALCS, this SAESON is CUNCELED Thursday, October 18, 2012 5:46:18 PMTwitter Web Client
Tell elise I want my balls back Thursday, October 18, 2012 4:10:06 PMTwitter Web Client
Mother fucker. Fuck the fuckin world and my new band... It's called. Syskill: http://t.co/S1Cr9eS Thursday, October 18, 2012 11:37:04 AMTwitter Web Client
This is my 8,000th tweet. Sadly, it is not about struttin' that ass, a drunk/incoherent mess, sluts, bitches, motherfuckers or how hot I am Wednesday, October 17, 2012 6:03:38 PMTwitter Web Client
THE BUILD WORKED. About fuckin time Wednesday, October 17, 2012 6:00:04 PMTwitter Web Client
If any build breaks just one more time, I will lose my shit Wednesday, October 17, 2012 5:43:51 PMTwitter Web Client
"you wha you guys opption that if a customer is cancel from a class, should they get a Appointment Cancellation email or a Class email?" Wednesday, October 17, 2012 5:22:53 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm such a dumb bitch. Lost my buckyballs and thought someone stole them and they were around my neck Wednesday, October 17, 2012 2:56:30 PMTwitter Web Client
and because there's a bastardization of file paths using mixes of forward and backslashes, finalbuilder is being a dick Wednesday, October 17, 2012 2:43:42 PMTwitter Web Client
I drink bud lights for hydration. Shit's weak Might as well be water. It's like 96% not alcohol. Wednesday, October 17, 2012 11:15:18 AMTwitter Web Client
What should I write for my upcoming 8,000th tweet? Wednesday, October 17, 2012 11:07:01 AMTwitter Web Client
Lennon w/ PERFECT ADVICE: joe... trivia tomorrow... lots of drinking. fuck this series and the election. fuckity fuck fuckishit booker fuck. Wednesday, October 17, 2012 12:25:19 AMTwitter Web Client
Seriously, it's as if Cy Young was pitching to a bunch of little leaguers. Tuesday, October 16, 2012 10:14:39 PMTwitter Web Client
I don't know what's worse... Both presidential candidates, or the New York Yankees. Tuesday, October 16, 2012 10:14:05 PMTwitter Web Client
Hughes out in the 4th? Does it get any worse for the Yankees? Tuesday, October 16, 2012 9:26:06 PMTwitter Web Client
Tech Operations team here... They don't know their ass from their elbow. Fuck this shit I'm out. Tuesday, October 16, 2012 5:46:08 PMTwitter Web Client
Brian Wilson is a crazy bastard, and this gif is excellent: http://t.co/S4lKkdY Tuesday, October 16, 2012 12:40:50 AMTwitter Web Client
T-15 tweets until 8,000. #bitches Tuesday, October 16, 2012 12:38:12 AMTwitter Web Client
12:37AM, so I think I'll compile node from source on 5 servers #bookerlife Tuesday, October 16, 2012 12:37:36 AMTwitter Web Client
Uhhhh. It's exactly what it looks like Monday, October 15, 2012 3:03:59 PMTwitter Web Client
If that hoe doesn't know... that she was getting fucked on the 19th Flo' hahahahhahahahah Monday, October 15, 2012 1:46:09 PMTwitter Web Client
Khodaja smells like mother fuckin shit. Friday, October 12, 2012 6:32:45 PMTwitter Web Client
Gio: "If your snack smells like a dirty box, please refrain from eating it in the office." Friday, October 12, 2012 5:22:01 PMTwitter Web Client
Finally: Stable is back to not sucking the ass Friday, October 12, 2012 3:07:25 PMTwitter Web Client
Happy Fridayernes! Motherfucker Friday, October 12, 2012 9:34:18 AMTwitter Web Client
I got ice in my crotch. (YEAH) I got ice in my crotch (HUH). ice in the mothafuckin crotch! Friday, October 12, 2012 9:33:47 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm DRINKING RAAAAGHT NOWWW! Thursday, October 11, 2012 6:04:22 PMTwitter Web Client
la la la la la la la!!!! Thursday, October 11, 2012 11:19:06 AMTwitter Web Client
I LOVE Halloween time and fall!! Thursday, October 11, 2012 10:12:24 AMTwitter Web Client
#lolarod Wednesday, October 10, 2012 10:46:35 PMTwitter Web Client
I feel like a fucking blimp Wednesday, October 10, 2012 3:19:25 PMTwitter Web Client
Blast from the past (Cinco de Mayo): Aniusha on flip cup: "Treat that shit like you treat a pussy." Wednesday, October 10, 2012 1:58:53 PMTwitter Web Client
Me: "Do we have any server images" Christina: "Yeah, they're all PNGs" Wednesday, October 10, 2012 1:28:57 PMTwitter Web Client
Yet another night of my life stolen from me. Thanks Booker. You fucking sluttface. Pay me more. Tuesday, October 09, 2012 11:51:11 PMTwitter Web Client
your mom's box Tuesday, October 09, 2012 5:38:34 PMTwitter Web Client
"We have to archive those logs. You know how many times we almost ran out of dick... DISK space" Tuesday, October 09, 2012 2:37:55 AMTwitter Web Client
What a dumb motherfucker; http://t.co/LzZL5gR Monday, October 08, 2012 10:52:59 PMTwitter Web Client
@Waspito Dude's crazy. There are hardly any Hasidics in Westchester. More like Brooklyn or the Catskills.
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
 Monday, October 08, 2012 11:37:38 AMTwitter Web Client
This is the new theme song for our infrastructure team: http://t.co/vphfsPF Monday, October 08, 2012 11:34:34 AMTwitter Web Client
Took me a good 5 minutes to get around the new website blocks. #dontfuckwithmeargentina Monday, October 08, 2012 9:55:09 AMTwitter Web Client
Once they start blocking websites is kin d of the part when I start leaving because it's not like I can't get around them Monday, October 08, 2012 9:03:54 AMTwitter Web Client
Has anyone else ripped ass mid tweet, because I just did this now... Sunday, October 07, 2012 3:01:42 AMTwitter Web Client
Four out of my last five tweets are about my farts (including this one) #girlsdontfart Sunday, October 07, 2012 3:00:18 AMTwitter Web Client
I think I should be ripping ass into balloons and selling them as exploding pranks Sunday, October 07, 2012 2:55:14 AMTwitter Web Client
As the Mover would say, I'm gassy as a bastard Sunday, October 07, 2012 2:54:53 AMTwitter Web Client
I highly recommend listening to 2 minutes of @BadPointer trying to convince me to fuck a bear: http://t.co/ADjzumI Sunday, October 07, 2012 1:14:02 AMTwitter Web Client
For your viewing pleasure: Gallons of cow pus: http://t.co/6nm537l Friday, October 05, 2012 1:08:06 AMTwitter Web Client
I am intrigued by the fact that I just shit out a completely undigested blueberry I apparently swallowed whole. Thursday, October 04, 2012 10:48:44 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuck. Tired. Can I take a nap now? Thursday, October 04, 2012 4:15:57 PMTwitter Web Client
"I think I'm getting a fever. Oh well. I'll just drink it out" @MalJNew Thursday, October 04, 2012 3:45:55 PMTwitter Web Client
oh my. little tipssssss. haven't been like this at lunch since the old office. fun bags was too lenient with the cider and Jameson Thursday, October 04, 2012 3:42:46 PMTwitter Web Client
"Those are the definition of fun bags" @MalJNew Thursday, October 04, 2012 3:35:05 PMTwitter Web Client
Big Bird for president! #thiscountryisafuckingjoke Thursday, October 04, 2012 12:49:14 PMTwitter Web Client
This is a horse shit system Wednesday, October 03, 2012 5:40:52 PMTwitter Web Client
LOL. Metro North is attempting to suck less dick than it already does http://t.co/7qPfjeR Wednesday, October 03, 2012 3:40:10 PMTwitter Web Client
I wouldn't drink out of either of these asinine cups from 7-11. I'd demand a normal one. I'm not endorsing some moron: http://t.co/L80ALhB Wednesday, October 03, 2012 12:30:34 AMTwitter Web Client
Clilantro es el hombre con el queso del diablo http://t.co/X0chRi6 Tuesday, October 02, 2012 4:19:38 PMTwitter Web Client
I am going to unfollow @ElBloombito if he keeps retweeting @Jewyorican's tweets. No one gives a fuck Tuesday, October 02, 2012 1:52:52 PMTwitter Web Client
This dude Brent Ozar is a fuckin genius Tuesday, October 02, 2012 10:26:29 AMTwitter Web Client
Calenderp derp derp derp Tuesday, October 02, 2012 9:49:39 AMTwitter Web Client
Nice to know that I forgot to close my plain text file of passwords as the auditor looked at my screen #FAIL Monday, October 01, 2012 1:57:32 PMTwitter Web Client
I need a shower. I'm like disgusting right now Monday, October 01, 2012 11:44:41 AMTwitter Web Client
Alexey is fucking dapper this fine morning Monday, October 01, 2012 10:56:42 AMTwitter Web Client
Nice to know that these two new servers we're leasing are worth more than I am per year. #jesusfuckingchristineedaraise Monday, October 01, 2012 10:33:56 AMTwitter Web Client
Then i saw his face / now I'm a belieber #biebs Monday, October 01, 2012 10:31:47 AMTwitter Web Client
♪♪ Yeaaaaaaaaaaahhhh- I got this thing
It's comin' over me ♪♪ 		Friday, September 28, 2012 6:00:36 PMTwitter Web Client
I have the bestest smile right now. Friday, September 28, 2012 11:37:45 AMTwitter Web Client
I'M SO CONVINCING. BELIEVE ME, DUH [10:52:54 AM] @maljnew: i'm not convinced [10:54:02 AM] Me: be convinced Friday, September 28, 2012 10:56:30 AMTwitter Web Client
♪♪ If you wanna hang out you've got to take her out, COCAINE ♪♪ Friday, September 28, 2012 10:45:09 AMTwitter Web Client
OMG water on Mars. http://t.co/Frn7fJg Friday, September 28, 2012 10:25:47 AMTwitter Web Client
I eat a lot Friday, September 28, 2012 10:20:57 AMTwitter Web Client
This bitch ass should not be wearing an exclusive company T-Shirt on the grounds that she's not doing the charity walk and didn't donate. Friday, September 28, 2012 10:00:42 AMTwitter Web Client
Is it exactly like SoapUI, but with a better UI? Friday, September 28, 2012 10:00:20 AMTwitter Web Client
I wanted to snap his neck marine style, but didn't want to cause any trouble ;) Friday, September 28, 2012 9:20:59 AMTwitter Web Client
You know your day is going to be amazing when a big obnoxious black gentleman tells you to move your fucking bag motherfucker on the subway Friday, September 28, 2012 9:20:39 AMTwitter Web Client
Try now. It should work now, in a little while. Thursday, September 27, 2012 5:47:09 PMTwitter Web Client
I smell a rat. I hate fuckin rats. Thursday, September 27, 2012 1:47:09 PMTwitter Web Client
Me to Eric: "let's just take a dump and get it over with" (regarding one of our apps leaking memory). Then I wondered why everyone laughed Thursday, September 27, 2012 1:15:30 PMTwitter Web Client
Definitely don;t need a fucking bagel because I ate already, but whatever. I need one Thursday, September 27, 2012 9:27:23 AMTwitter Web Client
When the fuck is it going to be mother fucking 55 degrees or less. It's too fucking hot in this bitch Thursday, September 27, 2012 9:17:44 AMTwitter Web Client
Everything sucks Thursday, September 27, 2012 9:03:58 AMTwitter Web Client
Me: "I think I see why this is busted" Christina: "Was it due to locusts" Wednesday, September 26, 2012 5:26:43 PMTwitter Web Client
Booker: Anything's possible in a cartoon Wednesday, September 26, 2012 4:13:31 PMTwitter Web Client
It smells like grape Wednesday, September 26, 2012 2:56:59 PMTwitter Web Client
You're a cunt if you use javascript to disable text selection on a site. For real? It's not like it's stopping me. What a joke Wednesday, September 26, 2012 1:06:00 PMTwitter Web Client
I don't care how good you are (even though you're not). If you can't use motherfuckin deodorant at work, I'm firing your filthy ass. Wednesday, September 26, 2012 12:24:00 PMTwitter Web Client
Bang the frontend team, just not on the backend Wednesday, September 26, 2012 10:12:46 AMTwitter Web Client
Welp, old laptop from 05 I use as a server... Fan just started sounding like a lawn mower for no reason. Thought it was the HD..Now it's ok. Wednesday, September 26, 2012 2:50:52 AMTwitter Web Client
Just flashed new CDMA and LTE radios on my #nexus. Going to see if it works better on the train tomorrow. Tuesday, September 25, 2012 8:32:16 PMTwitter Web Client
I think every morning should be like this morning! Tuesday, September 25, 2012 10:07:10 AMTwitter Web Client
How you know I'm fried. Just told the coworkers that everything was all set for the weekend and I'd see them Monday. It is Monday. JEEEZ Monday, September 24, 2012 7:24:56 PMTwitter Web Client
Pockets can go fuck himself Monday, September 24, 2012 12:16:56 PMTwitter Web Client
Anyone else notice that Firefox has turned into a hideous piece of shit that freezes and crashes nonstop? Monday, September 24, 2012 9:13:43 AMTwitter Web Client
My phone is using more power than the USB port can provide. It's plugged in "charging" status, but the battery % is decreasing Friday, September 21, 2012 2:31:30 PMTwitter Web Client
@MalJNew Sand in the vajay, beach girl. Suck it.
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
 Friday, September 21, 2012 11:37:41 AMTwitter Web Client
Alisa: "If @MalJNew were here right now, she'd call you a girl. (regarding me eating only a half of a donut) Friday, September 21, 2012 9:45:29 AMTwitter Web Client
Not sure how I feel about Apple's lightning cable. Fuck them for making it nonstandard. At the same time, it's reversible?!?! That's amazing Friday, September 21, 2012 12:30:22 AMTwitter Web Client
Gonna strut that ass tomorrow Friday, September 21, 2012 12:25:14 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuck these servers. Essentially, anything that could have gone wrong went wrong Thursday, September 20, 2012 10:03:28 PMTwitter Web Client
Lol Apple sucks: http://t.co/V7wRV9T Thursday, September 20, 2012 9:12:54 PMTwitter Web Client
If you haven't noticed, tomorrow is Friday Thursday, September 20, 2012 5:34:29 PMTwitter Web Client
Elise just came over to my desk, stole a cookie and said how much she missed @MalJNew Thursday, September 20, 2012 3:48:06 PMTwitter Web Client
Just bought a bunch of buckyballs for $5 #lovetheballs #jk Thursday, September 20, 2012 3:25:01 PMTwitter Web Client
I don't think it's normal to drop a green one. Must have been the wasabi.... Thursday, September 20, 2012 1:24:10 PMTwitter Web Client
But why is my phone speaker hissing at me when it's completely off? Thursday, September 20, 2012 10:31:17 AMTwitter Web Client
Xtina: I am going to name my apartment Theory. Because in Theory, everything works! Wednesday, September 19, 2012 3:13:29 PMTwitter Web Client
Xtina: "Hey. have you considered sucking it?" Wednesday, September 19, 2012 3:00:05 PMTwitter Web Client
TK you fucking know-it-all. Stop telling us how to do our tech jobs when you are clueless about life, the universe and everything Wednesday, September 19, 2012 2:08:02 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @DEVOPS_BORAT: What is happen in cloud is stay in cloud because nobody can able reproduce outside of cloud. Wednesday, September 19, 2012 2:07:13 PMTwitter Web Client
Jammin out to The Doors much to @RockNationRadio's displeasure Wednesday, September 19, 2012 12:57:24 PMTwitter Web Client
Pretty sure I sliced my face off shaving. Like 4 cuts. Fuckin amateur hour. Didn't even mess my face up this bad when I was 17 Wednesday, September 19, 2012 12:15:30 AMTwitter Web Client
Like Andrew Jackson, I have a habitual disregard of laws and constitutional provisions Tuesday, September 18, 2012 4:32:50 PMTwitter Web Client
@Colithika just drop the whacker and then there'd be no more hating
In reply to @Colithika's tweet
 Tuesday, September 18, 2012 2:39:18 PMTwitter Web Client
I HATE FUCKING LOSING AT SHIT Monday, September 17, 2012 2:12:50 PMTwitter Web Client
@MalJNew If you weren't so fuckng far away, I'd tell you to suck it so hard
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
 Monday, September 17, 2012 1:52:23 PMTwitter Web Client
This is the one fuckin thing that pisses me the fuck off on Android: http://t.co/z10yIcZ Monday, September 17, 2012 1:28:41 PMTwitter Web Client
Working from home today. Like Chunz, they must all think I'm Jewish at work... Monday, September 17, 2012 9:54:04 AMTwitter Web Client
Oh for fucks sake with these fuckers. GET YOUR LIVES TOGETHER, dev team Monday, September 17, 2012 7:59:04 AMTwitter Web Client
Anyone ever hear of Operation Northwoods? http://t.co/56grzlX A'mrrrrrrka. Fuck yeah! Monday, September 17, 2012 1:12:37 AMTwitter Web Client
@kerbear88 @kellyomealia That was just a two day joke I took overboard / may have been drinking a lot
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
 Sunday, September 16, 2012 8:58:02 PMTwitter Web Client
I like the word amazeballs. Have to start using it more. Sunday, September 16, 2012 11:04:31 AMTwitter Web Client
Nap time. Saturday, September 15, 2012 5:21:18 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @keith_connors: o's/sox in a wk w/ @Onethirdof3x5. won't tell you who im rooting for yet. not gonna do it. wouldn't be prudent at thi ... Saturday, September 15, 2012 3:37:30 PMTwitter Web Client
Firefox can suck a dick right now Friday, September 14, 2012 12:24:03 PMTwitter Web Client
Can't strut that ass? #ButUGotThatiPhone5Tho Friday, September 14, 2012 10:53:26 AMTwitter Web Client
"I gotta go to SQL school on Saturdays" -Derick Friday, September 14, 2012 9:36:42 AMTwitter Web Client
How I explained what struttin that ass means to my dude @Colithika: http://t.co/FUfWIsS Friday, September 14, 2012 12:32:49 AMTwitter Web Client
Barack Obama jokeface is never capable of struttin that ass like I can. Neither is Mitt "dumbshit but fiscally better than obama" Romney Friday, September 14, 2012 12:31:10 AMTwitter Web Client
Was writing something. Forgot to put a space between am and using. It was amusing Thursday, September 13, 2012 4:20:21 PMTwitter Web Client
Struttin that ass on Broadway Thursday, September 13, 2012 3:20:36 PMTwitter Web Client
I know this video is two years old, but when you walk around all day struttin that ass like me, I'm allowed to post it: http://t.co/jZDLEpH Thursday, September 13, 2012 1:08:59 PMTwitter Web Client
"You guys. Put it in git. Then off yourself" - xtina Thursday, September 13, 2012 12:31:18 PMTwitter Web Client
Almost time to be struttin that ass to the bar Wednesday, September 12, 2012 5:33:49 PMTwitter Web Client
@Novellabella @waspito All Androids suck unless it's pure Google and the OS is unmodified by Motorola/Samsung/HTC
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
 Wednesday, September 12, 2012 5:33:18 PMTwitter Web Client
Struttin my ass around Tess's hood, talkin' to Casey. She said nice jeans. Completely forgot what I was talking about for 20 seconds HHHHHHH Wednesday, September 12, 2012 4:52:48 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm struttin that ass, you guys Wednesday, September 12, 2012 3:34:25 PMTwitter Web Client
just.. struttin that ass Wednesday, September 12, 2012 1:04:49 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm gonna go around the office today, struttin' that ass Wednesday, September 12, 2012 10:04:07 AMTwitter Web Client
This whole fuckin process and way we do things around here is all a bunch of fuckin bullshit Tuesday, September 11, 2012 5:59:33 PMTwitter Web Client
I really want shepherds pie from Suspenders, you guys Tuesday, September 11, 2012 4:38:05 PMTwitter Web Client
Motherfucker. My twitter app is affected by GoDaddy's DNS outage. I knew I should have switched registrars. Monday, September 10, 2012 3:57:26 PMTwitter Web Client
Testy test test Monday, September 10, 2012 3:55:25 PMTwitter Web Client
Cisco was shocked to learn in a grad IS class that 70% of IT projects fail. DUH. This is something Chuntley taught us sophomore year #DSB Monday, September 10, 2012 9:31:16 AMTwitter Web Client
Search my tweets archive for shit, bitches: http://t.co/nnAxEpY Monday, September 10, 2012 3:27:44 AMTwitter Web Client
Beer's goin down reaaaal slow you guys... Can't drink like I used to. Fuckin a Friday, September 07, 2012 6:16:04 PMTwitter Web Client
As Big Ang would say: "Everybody loves me!" Friday, September 07, 2012 5:20:54 PMTwitter Web Client
Dr. Joe... Hacking Windows passwords since '03 Friday, September 07, 2012 12:09:15 PMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu ABUSERS LIST.
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
 Friday, September 07, 2012 10:53:12 AMTwitter Web Client
BAHAHAH. @Waspito just wrote this on my Facebook: "You'd buy a dildo if it was made by Google." Friday, September 07, 2012 10:52:57 AMTwitter Web Client
hold the phone! If you stop and start Redis, it flushes all the keys?!?! Friday, September 07, 2012 9:21:59 AMTwitter Web Client
This is beyond legitimate: http://t.co/fTF21wv Friday, September 07, 2012 1:47:55 AMTwitter Web Client
Thank Christ #FNO is over so @VtotheFlo and other girly girls stop fuckin tweeting about it Thursday, September 06, 2012 11:44:34 PMTwitter Web Client
This feature is like a broken 10-speed that's on fire! Thursday, September 06, 2012 5:23:06 PMTwitter Web Client
Just said "Sergey" and Christina thought I said "That's so gay" and started yelling at me for being politically incorrect. Thursday, September 06, 2012 11:04:59 AMTwitter Web Client
Anyone else notice that sometimes when selecting text in Google Chrome, the page starts jumping up and down? Drives me batshit crazy Thursday, September 06, 2012 9:28:01 AMTwitter Web Client
Really wish this bitch would stay home considering she has the fuckin black plague. Fuckin pox everywhere. Wednesday, September 05, 2012 10:42:02 AMTwitter Web Client
Gentleman on the train earlier really had to shit and reek up the car? Bro, you couldn't wait like 10 mins and do it in your office? Wednesday, September 05, 2012 10:06:04 AMTwitter Web Client
prob the first time I did some php object oriented shit without a syntax error. #twitterbullshit http://t.co/QJWJvSF (needs search feature) Tuesday, September 04, 2012 3:00:04 AMTwitter Web Client
"We watched TV... And then we didn't watch TV" Monday, September 03, 2012 11:58:29 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuck this shit: "Parser Error Message: The 'add' start tag on Ln 161 pos 3 does not match the end tag of 'appSettings'. Ln 318, pos 3." Monday, September 03, 2012 5:41:44 PMTwitter Web Client
VZW will probably never update the Galaxy Nexus to Jellybean, but f them because I did it already and my OS is better than their buggy #ICS Monday, September 03, 2012 1:50:46 AMTwitter Web Client
RT @yelling_bird: HAPPY LABOR DAY, SHITLORDS, HAVE FUN BEING A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY IN 20 YEARS THANKS TO YOUR HORRIFIC LEADERS Monday, September 03, 2012 1:46:31 AMTwitter Web Client
Nothing like pounding 3 beers in 20 minutes, then having the CEO talk to me about the release #FML Wednesday, August 29, 2012 8:01:03 PMTwitter Web Client
"Is it by design that..." "It's by design to shut the fuck up and stop talking to me bitch" Wednesday, August 29, 2012 4:53:55 PMTwitter Web Client
Tony is the shit. Just take a look at changeset 23143... http://t.co/Brfyl58 Wednesday, August 29, 2012 4:14:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Actual Natalia quote: "It call Facebook because is like a book" @DEVOPS_BORAT Wednesday, August 29, 2012 2:01:58 PMTwitter Web Client
Korean food is delicious and these fuckers went without me and now I smell it ;) Wednesday, August 29, 2012 1:54:26 PMTwitter Web Client
Yeah there's no failover. I can't really see it failing though Wednesday, August 29, 2012 1:26:40 PMTwitter Web Client
#jellybean > #ICS Wednesday, August 29, 2012 11:50:51 AMTwitter Web Client
aaaaaaaaand.... I almost bricked my phone Wednesday, August 29, 2012 1:48:04 AMTwitter Web Client
Han enough of Ice Cream Sandwich. Flashing Jellybean tonight Tuesday, August 28, 2012 6:21:53 PMTwitter Web Client

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