Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit



5975 tweets posted from Twitter Web Client
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Welp, looks like some terrorists bombed a US Embassy in Turkey. We should start a war with Turkey. #sarcasm Friday, February 01, 2013 12:40:45 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm nerding out about metro.css with Xtina. METRO IS PRETTY Friday, February 01, 2013 11:41:12 AMTwitter Web Client
buy me nevermind on vinyl cunts Friday, February 01, 2013 11:13:58 AMTwitter Web Client
Wouldn't mind being this drumset so Dave can bang me http://t.co/HgoNRJy Friday, February 01, 2013 2:15:08 AMTwitter Web Client
Daniel keeps forgetting to give me permission to access something that he's requiring me to complete by today, even though I reminded him 3x Thursday, January 31, 2013 1:09:56 PMTwitter Web Client
Mind. Blown. http://t.co/gS8ZxTY Thursday, January 31, 2013 11:25:17 AMTwitter Web Client
Might shake a bitch Wednesday, January 30, 2013 5:29:52 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm too fucking good for this place. die. Wednesday, January 30, 2013 5:14:11 PMTwitter Web Client
Now I have to sit here and restart servers like a fucking dickhead until some user stops abusing the API Wednesday, January 30, 2013 1:22:19 PMTwitter Web Client
PRO. FUCKING. TIP: IF YOUR APP HAS AN API, RATE LIMIT IT YOU CUNTS SO PARTNERS DON'T CRASH THE SYSTEM EVERY 2.5 MINUTES Fuckin amatuer hour Wednesday, January 30, 2013 1:21:29 PMTwitter Web Client
"BURN IT ALL DOWN AND PISS ON THE ASHES" - Xtina Wednesday, January 30, 2013 10:54:24 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuck. Yes : http://t.co/jxBzWNT (PS - I'm HUGE) Wednesday, January 30, 2013 2:52:37 AMTwitter Web Client
Holy shit. He wasn't BSing me: http://t.co/haJo15t Tuesday, January 29, 2013 4:00:43 PMTwitter Web Client
"Gabe's probably got node.js running on his RC helicopter." -Joe P. Tuesday, January 29, 2013 3:48:48 PMTwitter Web Client
I like eating Christina's nuts Tuesday, January 29, 2013 1:36:55 PMTwitter Web Client
Fucking out of it... Just told the devs I don't pay attention to our chief system architect. Tuesday, January 29, 2013 9:08:54 AMTwitter Web Client
This just blew my mind: hg tip --template "{rev}({node|short})" Monday, January 28, 2013 1:14:48 PMTwitter Web Client
Alexey writes some backwards assed shit code Monday, January 28, 2013 12:36:48 PMTwitter Web Client
Tell the count if I see him on Sesame Street again, his days are numbered http://t.co/zlfpPWE Thursday, January 24, 2013 5:49:05 PMTwitter Web Client
Since when did #djbj get all hood from detroit? http://t.co/fmAvizq Thursday, January 24, 2013 11:39:22 AMTwitter Web Client
my neck might as well be a steel beam. Someone bring drugs Thursday, January 24, 2013 11:37:26 AMTwitter Web Client
Just was up working on a bunch of shit so it's all done before my scheduled sick day. Got legit stuff done like a boss #blowmebookerhookers Thursday, January 24, 2013 2:45:46 AMTwitter Web Client
SON OF A WHORE! - Xtina Wednesday, January 23, 2013 3:24:32 PMTwitter Web Client
For the love of God, Montresor! Wednesday, January 23, 2013 3:23:45 PMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu @kerbear88 Slightly guilty, but I have a actual thermometer so I get extra points.
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
 Wednesday, January 23, 2013 11:40:06 AMTwitter Web Client
Joe P "Joe.. This coffee is staining my soul" Tuesday, January 22, 2013 10:00:26 AMTwitter Web Client
son of a bitch. take this turntable away from me. will spend all my money on grunge records Monday, January 21, 2013 9:00:44 PMTwitter Web Client
Just remembered now that I was drunkenly speaking Spanish with our cleaning lady on Friday. Whoops Monday, January 21, 2013 1:13:40 PMTwitter Web Client
You think I'd get a fucking "thanks" for moving all that data over the weekend for these biddies Monday, January 21, 2013 10:19:59 AMTwitter Web Client
@kerbear88 no
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
 Monday, January 21, 2013 9:35:09 AMTwitter Web Client
Pockets is a weenie head Monday, January 21, 2013 9:34:51 AMTwitter Web Client
My tweets from last year were CRAY http://t.co/rQ83By8 Monday, January 21, 2013 9:21:19 AMTwitter Web Client
although work ended at 6 so fucking whatever i do now is extra and doesnt count Friday, January 18, 2013 7:12:18 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm also hammered. at work Friday, January 18, 2013 7:09:25 PMTwitter Web Client
I am listening to Ten like it's my job Friday, January 18, 2013 7:05:15 PMTwitter Web Client
My boss changed into a T-Shirt and BANG BANG #notgay Friday, January 18, 2013 7:03:23 PMTwitter Web Client
SAT IN THE VP'S CHAIR IN HIS OFFICE. felt good cunts Friday, January 18, 2013 6:45:35 PMTwitter Web Client
EVEN FLOWWWWWWWWWW THOUGHTS ARRIVE LIKE BUTTERFLIES Friday, January 18, 2013 6:44:54 PMTwitter Web Client
someone wanna queue up the lightning for tomorrow. fuckers Friday, January 18, 2013 6:33:59 PMTwitter Web Client
Will be blackout by 8PM. Guaranteed. Friday, January 18, 2013 6:29:56 PMTwitter Web Client
Just bitched to HR that they can suck my dick Friday, January 18, 2013 6:26:35 PMTwitter Web Client
Fucks given that QA is down: Less than 0 Friday, January 18, 2013 6:25:31 PMTwitter Web Client
Too drunk for this fucking build and release shit Friday, January 18, 2013 5:49:40 PMTwitter Web Client
pretty sure they poured a couple of bottles of grain into this keg. It's strong as fuck Friday, January 18, 2013 5:09:35 PMTwitter Web Client
DAT GUITAR SOLO. (Mike McCready, teach me the ways!) Friday, January 18, 2013 3:40:58 PMTwitter Web Client
I will probably jack off to pearl jam's ten spinning on my turntable. Hurry up and ship, bitches Friday, January 18, 2013 3:21:44 PMTwitter Web Client
Yo. Lemme get another beer? Friday, January 18, 2013 3:16:30 PMTwitter Web Client
Forgot my access card for the building. Lobby guy called me out for signing in as Broseph (I considered signing in as Barack Obama first) Friday, January 18, 2013 2:56:46 PMTwitter Web Client
Hughlon is my homeboy Friday, January 18, 2013 1:04:26 PMTwitter Web Client
"Sam... What's Nate's title? I just referred to him as our report dude." -@maljnew Friday, January 18, 2013 12:45:45 PMTwitter Web Client
Oh and i'l hitting the keg at 3:30 Friday, January 18, 2013 12:37:33 PMTwitter Web Client
I dare you to motivate me to work today. Will be reading barstool until youse fuckers realize how much of a big deal I am. Friday, January 18, 2013 12:37:19 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin Ukraine.. It's Friday night already for them! Friday, January 18, 2013 12:14:31 PMTwitter Web Client
Let me get more of that waffle. Shit was banging. @MalJNew Friday, January 18, 2013 10:54:44 AMTwitter Web Client
i need that stuff that does that thing Thursday, January 17, 2013 4:31:26 PMTwitter Web Client
NEED THIS IMMEDIATELY: http://t.co/kJ4ZzAN Wednesday, January 16, 2013 12:11:23 PMTwitter Web Client
@Lennon @MalJNew Just bought the last Foo album on vinyl. Enjoyyy
In reply to @Lennon's tweet
 Wednesday, January 16, 2013 11:32:08 AMTwitter Web Client
This RSA token is being cuntish Wednesday, January 16, 2013 9:14:29 AMTwitter Web Client
@kerbear88 I KNOW! They should run A/C all the time. Heat is the worst. It's not like we're not all wearing winter coats. Jeez
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
 Wednesday, January 16, 2013 9:12:36 AMTwitter Web Client
suck a dick Tuesday, January 15, 2013 9:39:47 AMTwitter Web Client
Great. IT guy would decide to fuck around with wires under my desk after I ripped ass. Tuesday, January 15, 2013 9:11:45 AMTwitter Web Client
RT @NJGovChristie: Having a great time in Florida! Hey, did NJ get some flurries or something? No time to find out details; going on Mad ... Tuesday, January 15, 2013 12:30:59 AMTwitter Web Client
Alexey is absolutely batshit right now Monday, January 14, 2013 6:03:19 PMTwitter Web Client
Depending upon if they decide to give me a review and make some adjustments, I may or may not have a scheduled sick day next Friday. Enjoy Monday, January 14, 2013 3:37:41 PMTwitter Web Client
"Either that, or I'd put some titties on there." Gotta love Reddit http://t.co/YTGOVT0 Friday, January 11, 2013 1:18:49 AMTwitter Web Client
Me: "I think we need a scrlling marquee" Xtina: "I think we need a cork for your speaking hole" Thursday, January 10, 2013 5:11:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Sourceforge pisses me the fuck off. It's impossible to dl stuff from there, obnioxious adds / dl waits. Github is so much easier. Thursday, January 10, 2013 3:38:45 PMTwitter Web Client
Pretty sure that our automation engineer in the Ukraine is actually @DEVOPS_BORAT Very nice! Thursday, January 10, 2013 10:01:05 AMTwitter Web Client
Who's this motherfucker with this loud assed car driving up and down my block a million and one times? Bro. get a muffler. Thursday, January 10, 2013 12:37:09 AMTwitter Web Client
VP of marketing is a fucking joke breath. He BCC'd an entire mailing list and we all know who is on that mailing list. idiot. Wednesday, January 09, 2013 2:04:50 PMTwitter Web Client
Rest of the day will be spent on youtube, reddit, foursquare, twitter and my resume Wednesday, January 09, 2013 11:44:06 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm walking the fuck out of this fucking place at 2pm on the grounds that they all can go fuck themselves Wednesday, January 09, 2013 11:13:37 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin tiger today, this one. Dayummmmm Tuesday, January 08, 2013 9:53:52 AMTwitter Web Client
To all you suckers trying to get a "free" copy of Adobe CS2 that Adobe now says isn't free... I have a better thing: http://t.co/MbYDtm3 Tuesday, January 08, 2013 1:43:12 AMTwitter Web Client
BANG BANG BANG http://t.co/0oo0gKy Tuesday, January 08, 2013 12:37:48 AMTwitter Web Client
"Calendar doesn't break when it breaks" - Natalia Monday, January 07, 2013 5:55:03 PMTwitter Web Client
Jay is such a baller he came over to me and said "Joe. I need you to do favor. Not me. I help do you favor" Monday, January 07, 2013 2:03:29 PMTwitter Web Client
Sam. For real. Please get rid of that coffee! Or give me a raise for dealing with it Monday, January 07, 2013 9:33:56 AMTwitter Web Client
It smells like nasty assed, stale, overly strong coffee up in this bitch Monday, January 07, 2013 9:30:25 AMTwitter Web Client
Nasty woman was legit clipping her fingernails on the 5 this morning #ghettotrain Monday, January 07, 2013 9:16:10 AMTwitter Web Client
gonna go to Dakota bar later. belt out some 90s grunge jams. Do the Stevie Wonder as Derick calls it Friday, January 04, 2013 6:43:51 PMTwitter Web Client
@Lennon My Dave Grohl obsession goes back way before @MalJNew http://t.co/ja9kjng Friday, January 04, 2013 6:34:08 PMTwitter Web Client
I almost just called Cali Kristen a cracker. Friday, January 04, 2013 6:26:01 PMTwitter Web Client
I need a little old Italian grandmother to teach me how to make struffoli Friday, January 04, 2013 6:07:23 PMTwitter Web Client
Do they make xanax flavored pez? Friday, January 04, 2013 4:39:19 PMTwitter Web Client
This delivery dude is a fuckin amateur hour Friday, January 04, 2013 1:26:18 PMTwitter Web Client
Dave Grohl is so hot Friday, January 04, 2013 8:20:05 AMTwitter Web Client
Firefox sucks 73 dicks. Friday, January 04, 2013 12:16:17 AMTwitter Web Client
"This email contains DB advice from a clientside developer that's more familiar with JS, teddybears, bows, ribbons &
other front end things" 		Thursday, January 03, 2013 5:40:09 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin A man... We basically just got DDoS'd Thursday, January 03, 2013 2:12:05 PMTwitter Web Client
"You just got here?" "No James, I'm standing here with my coat on for the shit of it" Ya fuckin dumb Thursday, January 03, 2013 9:07:59 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm just doing my job, you know so say uncle and we'll take you to the mental health zoo! Wednesday, January 02, 2013 3:29:19 PMTwitter Web Client
Installing Steam and Killing Floor on my Work computer at 92 MBPS Monday, December 31, 2012 9:14:16 AMTwitter Web Client
Who the fuck kicked our keg in this office? Friday, December 28, 2012 6:38:35 PMTwitter Web Client
That third dollar pizza slice isn't doing that great in my stomach, you guys Friday, December 28, 2012 5:07:21 PMTwitter Web Client
TK shut the fuck up Friday, December 28, 2012 1:26:46 PMTwitter Web Client
Gabe's got a slice of pizza at 10:30AM and I think I need pizza now Friday, December 28, 2012 10:31:40 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin TK is back? Well this sucks balls. So good in her absence Friday, December 28, 2012 9:00:36 AMTwitter Web Client
Didn't even leave work yet and I'll say this: Can't drink like I used to, you guys. Thursday, December 27, 2012 5:12:05 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm a cray Thursday, December 27, 2012 5:09:13 PMTwitter Web Client
That's another thing Xtina and I have in common. Can say something sucks a dick and she'll agree with me. Unlike girls who like to suck a d Thursday, December 27, 2012 4:56:25 PMTwitter Web Client
Will the motherfuckin subway alert system stop sending me email on how the 4/5 trains suck a dick and break down. I get it. Stop spamming me Thursday, December 27, 2012 4:55:03 PMTwitter Web Client
This beer is starting to do its job Thursday, December 27, 2012 4:41:03 PMTwitter Web Client
let the beer flow mang Thursday, December 27, 2012 4:09:52 PMTwitter Web Client
Was going to get a beer, but got a sassy look from the sassy accounting girls. Will wait until they're not looking. Thursday, December 27, 2012 3:27:15 PMTwitter Web Client
Xtina: "Joe, What am I thinking?" Me: "You want to have a beer with me" Thursday, December 27, 2012 2:54:47 PMTwitter Web Client
Gonna start drinking in an hour Thursday, December 27, 2012 2:06:18 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuck did I remember to flush the toilet or did I leave a present? gotta go check now. There's like 3 guys working today. They'll catch on Thursday, December 27, 2012 11:51:11 AMTwitter Web Client
All you fuckers know I'm the absolute shit, right? | Shit | (get it?) Thursday, December 27, 2012 11:42:47 AMTwitter Web Client
Cadet spent two hours on something I fixed in 45 seconds. Thursday, December 27, 2012 11:23:48 AMTwitter Web Client
Walks in. Drops database. Thursday, December 27, 2012 9:09:44 AMTwitter Web Client
@Lennon Real
In reply to @Lennon's tweet
 Thursday, December 27, 2012 12:37:38 AMTwitter Web Client
KFC hit the nail on the head: http://t.co/MVjIwxK Tuesday, December 25, 2012 2:13:48 AMTwitter Web Client
When will twitter let me export all of my tweets? Need to import them into my own DB so my app can be complete! It's missing some from 2008 Monday, December 24, 2012 5:14:43 PMTwitter Web Client
My new twitter background image is baller (might have to view it from the web) Sunday, December 23, 2012 9:59:03 PMTwitter Web Client
Haven't played killing floor in over a year. Joined random server. 489 zombies killed. Beat the patriarch. ENJOYYYYY Sunday, December 23, 2012 1:49:17 AMTwitter Web Client
I need Pearl Jam's Ten on vinyl: http://t.co/H6x6UxM Saturday, December 22, 2012 1:56:42 PMTwitter Web Client
This useless machine is the coolest thing ever! Bring me one for Christmas: http://t.co/FoKYY10 Saturday, December 22, 2012 1:15:22 AMTwitter Web Client
gassy as a bastard Friday, December 21, 2012 1:57:07 PMTwitter Web Client
Think I have a little stomach bug. Ripped ass at desk. Fucking vile. I'm going home. Thursday, December 20, 2012 11:14:12 AMTwitter Web Client
I think this office needs a scrolling marquee Wednesday, December 19, 2012 5:02:10 PMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu No. That was just a quote here
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
 Wednesday, December 19, 2012 4:39:30 PMTwitter Web Client
There's my two week notice right there. Next week I'm here. The week after is the rest of my vacation days. Fuckin enjoyyyyyyyyyyy Wednesday, December 19, 2012 4:30:59 PMTwitter Web Client
Derick: "He's Fake GoDaddy. He's JoeDaddy" Wednesday, December 19, 2012 3:49:13 PMTwitter Web Client
Firefox is a piece of shit Wednesday, December 19, 2012 2:54:10 PMTwitter Web Client
Yeah just raise all the fuckin shit. Make it $600, I don't give a fuck #MTA Wednesday, December 19, 2012 12:29:10 PMTwitter Web Client
Why is it that cat people are fucking obsessed about their cats and taking in strays and talking about them nonstop. Fuck cats. #dogsson Wednesday, December 19, 2012 10:16:44 AMTwitter Web Client
James asked Sam if he could work from home Friday because there's going to be a major earthquake #craycray Wednesday, December 19, 2012 9:28:01 AMTwitter Web Client
Derick: "Sam. If Friday is the end of the world, can I come in high?" Tuesday, December 18, 2012 4:42:04 PMTwitter Web Client
sudo get bitches http://t.co/9Wug3Cc @__JLu Tuesday, December 18, 2012 11:50:10 AMTwitter Web Client
Niraj: "Just shut it down. It's a complete fuckin waste of hundreds of thousands of dollars" Tuesday, December 18, 2012 9:31:52 AMTwitter Web Client
"Okay Joe. Today is find your server day" - Hughlon Tuesday, December 18, 2012 9:20:26 AMTwitter Web Client
RT @DadBoner: You mess with me? I'll whizz on your car. I don't care. Super hot whizz, all over your the door handle. You touch my whiz ... Monday, December 17, 2012 5:15:46 PMTwitter Web Client
Derick: "You know what I like about you when you're drunk? You start doing this Stevie Wonder thing where you look up at the sky." Monday, December 17, 2012 12:56:35 PMTwitter Web Client
This is the most jacked up build script I've ever seen. People here are slightly dim Monday, December 17, 2012 11:27:46 AMTwitter Web Client
Pretty sure the most hood thing I've ever done was sit in a McDonalds for 2 hours buying fries and coke and mixing Jack in it @MalJNew Monday, December 17, 2012 10:20:00 AMTwitter Web Client
LEA.... GET THE FUCK OFF MY GOD DAMN DICK Monday, December 17, 2012 10:06:36 AMTwitter Web Client
God damn it James. Stop interrogating me about the Christmas party. Fucking enough. Monday, December 17, 2012 9:15:48 AMTwitter Web Client
Nope, nevermind. All good. All works. Because I'm a fucking boss, sons Sunday, December 16, 2012 11:43:32 PMTwitter Web Client
fuck. what did i break Sunday, December 16, 2012 11:42:11 PMTwitter Web Client
test tweet (Making sure WordPress 3.5 doesn't break my twitter app) Sunday, December 16, 2012 11:39:25 PMTwitter Web Client
Motherfuckin CHRISTMAS party... You happy now, @RockNationRadio? Fuckin A, I was trying to be neutral. Friday, December 14, 2012 5:58:04 PMTwitter Web Client
Office holiday party tonight. #fired Friday, December 14, 2012 5:43:49 PMTwitter Web Client
Jesus fucking Christ what the fuck is wrong with people these days #Newtown Friday, December 14, 2012 2:06:03 PMTwitter Web Client
DAT ASS @MalJNew Friday, December 14, 2012 9:52:16 AMTwitter Web Client
Our recruiters here suck ass. Sent me a guy to interview and I googled his name and his Google+ says "I suck at time management" FUCK OFF Thursday, December 13, 2012 1:50:43 PMTwitter Web Client
DAVE GROHL TONIGHT KHASdbvjkahsdbfklahsdbfklbhdsfkadsbflafbkdsladsf Wednesday, December 12, 2012 1:59:37 PMTwitter Web Client
Happy 12/12/12 day! Wednesday, December 12, 2012 9:41:46 AMTwitter Web Client
Going home and drinking and chilling the most you guys. bullshit day Tuesday, December 11, 2012 5:52:14 PMTwitter Web Client
Is it pronounced Ton Ton? Toon Toon? Ten Ten? Tuhn Tuhn? Tuesday, December 11, 2012 9:09:21 AMTwitter Web Client
Interacting with Redis in php is easy as fuck using Predis. Even a half assed, hack brogrammer like myself can easily do it! Tuesday, December 11, 2012 1:06:21 AMTwitter Web Client
php/redis/ Predis library: my anti-drug. Booker: my pro-drug Monday, December 10, 2012 8:08:53 PMTwitter Web Client
Derick: "That's a pretty roundabout way of doing things wrong. And that takes creativity" Monday, December 10, 2012 3:40:11 PMTwitter Web Client
Son of a bitch. Was just informed by @RockNationRadio that Dave Grohl was at Sirius and I didn't get the invite. http://t.co/Iou7vSn Monday, December 10, 2012 1:23:31 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @Lennon I HAVE VERY IMPORTANT GCHAT/GSEXTING CONVERSATIONS TO FINISH. Monday, December 10, 2012 12:18:10 PMTwitter Web Client
You mean to tell me that I actually have to use that piece of shit Firefox browser now? Wheres my IE10? Monday, December 10, 2012 12:17:29 PMTwitter Web Client
Google Chrome keeps crashing, because it's proabbly calling home to Google Monday, December 10, 2012 11:56:24 AMTwitter Web Client
502 bad gateway on Gmail. Almost as bad as our mobile app Monday, December 10, 2012 11:55:40 AMTwitter Web Client
Oh my gawddd. Gmail is teh broken Monday, December 10, 2012 11:54:58 AMTwitter Web Client
Sam just broke Gmail Monday, December 10, 2012 11:52:29 AMTwitter Web Client
@michellemm22 Article bothers me because they used British English instead of American English
In reply to @michellemm22's tweet
 Monday, December 10, 2012 11:12:21 AMTwitter Web Client
I need this puppy. I will love the shit out of her: http://t.co/l2cvATC Monday, December 10, 2012 10:41:27 AMTwitter Web Client
I need this shirt to wear to work: http://t.co/8aQo2cg Monday, December 10, 2012 12:30:51 AMTwitter Web Client
I got nines in the bedroom, glocks in the kitchen, a shotty by the shower if you wanna shoot me while I'm shittin Sunday, December 09, 2012 11:14:36 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin bullshit. My site was down for 3 hours because the fucking webserver doesn't start on boot. Just fixed that Sunday, December 09, 2012 3:43:38 PMTwitter Web Client
Me: "I can't even drink anymore" My boss: "come on man. What the hell is wrong with you" Friday, December 07, 2012 5:14:05 PMTwitter Web Client
And I just spilled #fuckinhammeredrightnow Friday, December 07, 2012 4:24:34 PMTwitter Web Client
Huglon, commenting on how I didn't think of some easy solution: "This is why I stopped smoking weed when I was 6. I got my memory back." Friday, December 07, 2012 3:41:34 PMTwitter Web Client
found about a thousand bugs in my build scripts, you guys Friday, December 07, 2012 3:21:34 PMTwitter Web Client
The Galaxy Nexus to Nexus 4 upgrade is equivalent to the iPhone 4 to iPhone 4s upgrade. Friday, December 07, 2012 1:14:14 PMTwitter Web Client
Our office coffee is so bad, we brewed a pot without any grounds and it still came out brown. I'm enjoying my Dunkin thanks Friday, December 07, 2012 12:43:06 PMTwitter Web Client
it's 10:21AM. Can we start drinking? Is there beer in the keg? Friday, December 07, 2012 10:22:13 AMTwitter Web Client
Marco's Nexus 4 is so sexy. It kinda looks like a Galaxy Nexus, but thinner and faster. And my OS is the same version as that, so whatever. Friday, December 07, 2012 9:51:30 AMTwitter Web Client
Finalbuilder is being cuntish Thursday, December 06, 2012 3:30:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Sam: "How come no one invented gifs with audio?" Me; "Well,that's just a video" Thursday, December 06, 2012 11:31:54 AMTwitter Web Client
So this means I get more skrilla, right: http://t.co/91agizy Thursday, December 06, 2012 11:01:20 AMTwitter Web Client
Project managers can fucking suck it so hard. Thursday, December 06, 2012 9:08:43 AMTwitter Web Client
Would be nice if I didn't get the shits every other day... Thursday, December 06, 2012 2:33:52 AMTwitter Web Client
Haven't listened to System of a Down in years. Joe P. suggested it. It's perfect "I'm fucking pissed off music" Tuesday, December 04, 2012 10:42:03 AMTwitter Web Client
Had a meeting at 10:15. Walked to Dunkins at 10:17 for a coffee. Told someone else to tell them I didn't give a fuck about their meeting Tuesday, December 04, 2012 10:26:43 AMTwitter Web Client
Moving this DB from the cloud to our internal server is a fucking pain in my ass and is gi9ving me a fuckign panic attack Tuesday, December 04, 2012 9:47:57 AMTwitter Web Client
Thanks for stating it's December in your GChat status, captain obvious dumbfuck: http://t.co/r5EilrE Monday, December 03, 2012 1:00:02 PMTwitter Web Client
My shoelaces can suck it. Constantly untie 500 timesALL DAY long and when I need to untie them, they're in impossible knots. #bullshit Monday, December 03, 2012 12:53:38 PMTwitter Web Client
This Emergen-C = pink panty dropper. I can pretty much bring Skippy to work and pretend it's Emergen-c Monday, December 03, 2012 12:15:11 PMTwitter Web Client
Wonder what would happen if I did a line of Emergen-C Monday, December 03, 2012 12:00:16 PMTwitter Web Client
This new CE manager looks like a Marine that will fuck you up. Such a hardo rockin' the military haircut Monday, December 03, 2012 10:00:23 AMTwitter Web Client
Hughlon was a boss on the subway this morning "Fuck all these people. Push your way through. You're not going to see them again" Monday, December 03, 2012 9:20:30 AMTwitter Web Client
4 and 5 trains were jammed ass to dick this morning. Monday, December 03, 2012 9:19:55 AMTwitter Web Client
I am the cutest: http://t.co/1BiRFTo Monday, December 03, 2012 12:53:32 AMTwitter Web Client
I went a day without tweeting. Was too busy/preoccupied with more important things. Monday, December 03, 2012 12:50:44 AMTwitter Web Client
Why is no one liking these shits today? I thought I tweeted some real gems. Guess I'm not struttin dat ass hard enough. Friday, November 30, 2012 3:41:28 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm so cocky, I crack myself up. Friday, November 30, 2012 3:40:43 PMTwitter Web Client
My type of reading. RT @jiaaro Javascript for Assholes http://t.co/1oFnPPt …is pretty awesome Friday, November 30, 2012 11:51:19 AMTwitter Web Client
Niraj: "Joe. I will buy you two shots if you get QANYC set up with 9.0 by the end of next week. Two shots. One for you and one for me" Friday, November 30, 2012 10:35:10 AMTwitter Web Client
STRUT DAT ASS! STURT DAT ASS! STRUT DAT ASS!!! Friday, November 30, 2012 10:09:48 AMTwitter Web Client
Thanks mom for reminding me to to get anyone pregnant Friday, November 30, 2012 10:09:20 AMTwitter Web Client
Michelle just asked me what a Brollout script was. Uh.. A rollout script for bros, duh. So we can release our brogrammers' code Friday, November 30, 2012 9:59:38 AMTwitter Web Client
If you smell like piss-soaked, cheesy ballsack with shit on top, please refrain from using the subway. People like this should be killed.Thx Friday, November 30, 2012 9:30:54 AMTwitter Web Client
Yo @lennon... Tweet from the past: https://t.co/EZhrDG2 Thursday, November 29, 2012 9:16:17 PMTwitter Web Client
This new dude we hired looks exactly like a fatter version of Nardo Thursday, November 29, 2012 12:24:24 PMTwitter Web Client
In the following order: "Jesus, Benjamin Franklin, Gio" Thursday, November 29, 2012 10:02:19 AMTwitter Web Client
Thanks XTina! 12 free large Dunkin coffees! Thursday, November 29, 2012 9:48:57 AMTwitter Web Client
What I sent to our product team regarding our mobile app http://t.co/BYdblBf Wednesday, November 28, 2012 5:31:28 PMTwitter Web Client
Our mobile apps are fucking pieces of shit. Wednesday, November 28, 2012 5:07:39 PMTwitter Web Client
This dumb blonde bitch is paid all day to shop online and steal my equipment Wednesday, November 28, 2012 4:39:44 PMTwitter Web Client
And for that, the price just went up 10% Wednesday, November 28, 2012 3:25:06 PMTwitter Web Client
@scoopANDslam Name it "Yo Player" #wifi
In reply to @scoopANDslam's tweet
 Wednesday, November 28, 2012 12:31:06 PMTwitter Web Client
Got 99 problems, but a batch file ain't one Wednesday, November 28, 2012 12:19:42 PMTwitter Web Client
I would bang my bolognese sauce. So nom. Especially as leftovers. Wednesday, November 28, 2012 12:19:16 PMTwitter Web Client
Niraj... Actually go home. Sitting next to me, I might murder you... Wednesday, November 28, 2012 10:15:02 AMTwitter Web Client
Niraj is about to give me a nervous breakdown Wednesday, November 28, 2012 9:57:44 AMTwitter Web Client
Just ran an AnTuTu benchmark on my Nexus 7 and Galaxy Nexus. The 7 hit 12791 while the GNex was 7564. Wonder how the Nexus 4 does? Wednesday, November 28, 2012 1:42:55 AMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu Hahaha, I was just ranting about that before I saw this tweet, abusers. Of course it's meaningless!
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
 Monday, November 26, 2012 11:30:56 AMTwitter Web Client
Shut up. I don't care about your babble. You're annoying me Sunday, November 25, 2012 11:35:31 PMTwitter Web Client
Have I ever mentioned I have a man crush on Dave Grohl? Friday, November 23, 2012 12:17:05 PMTwitter Web Client
#theytriedtomakemegotorehab Wednesday, November 21, 2012 4:59:16 PMTwitter Web Client
Love this place. Came in all fucked up, worked a bit, went to the bar, and am now drinking/working and fixing shit like a boss Wednesday, November 21, 2012 4:46:37 PMTwitter Web Client
Welp, that shits wearing off because I'm starting to stress out again Wednesday, November 21, 2012 11:29:49 AMTwitter Web Client
wheeeeeeeeeeeeee Wednesday, November 21, 2012 9:35:56 AMTwitter Web Client
I'll take this though. Wednesday, November 21, 2012 9:33:45 AMTwitter Web Client
Yep. Might still be a little bit of a space cadet. What are ya gonna do? More peaceful that way. At least I'm not a crazy like yesterday Wednesday, November 21, 2012 9:24:23 AMTwitter Web Client
I think I'm still a little zoned out and uncoordinated from yesterday Wednesday, November 21, 2012 9:18:54 AMTwitter Web Client
Joe P. on the new logo/font "That font looks like it fuckin sucked a cock" Tuesday, November 20, 2012 2:54:41 PMTwitter Web Client
I hope the FBI doesn't read this shit. i'm not actually going to kill anyone or order a hit on a dude. Tuesday, November 20, 2012 1:21:01 PMTwitter Web Client
someone get me a mother fuckin xanax Tuesday, November 20, 2012 1:20:23 PMTwitter Web Client
Gyp Rosetti from Boardwalk Empire style... Bury him in the sand with his head sticking out and then whack it off with a shovel Tuesday, November 20, 2012 1:16:15 PMTwitter Web Client
Someone needs to put a mother fuckin bullet in this PCI auditor's head. Tuesday, November 20, 2012 1:14:48 PMTwitter Web Client
I had a poppy seed in my hair. Tuesday, November 20, 2012 12:46:54 PMTwitter Web Client
When i bust my gat, motherfuckers take dirt naps. Tuesday, November 20, 2012 10:28:02 AMTwitter Web Client
Sam's such a baller. Tell him I'm going to be late. Walk in 45 mins late. He says "Hey man, thought you were going to be late" Tuesday, November 20, 2012 9:45:10 AMTwitter Web Client
Bring me this mother drummer! http://t.co/Zzd8zcT Sunday, November 18, 2012 8:40:02 PMTwitter Web Client
Struttin dat ass over to Down The Hatch. Enjoyyyyyy fuckers Friday, November 16, 2012 7:05:41 PMTwitter Web Client
Since when does fuckin beer stain your shirt? I look like I got jizzed on. All because I was laughing at @BadPointer's antics Friday, November 16, 2012 7:01:59 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin A. I am going to punish you (with my dick) for asking "Is Jersey even New York?" Friday, November 16, 2012 6:45:56 PMTwitter Web Client
THERE'S A MONSTERRRRRRR. AT THE END OF THIS BOOK http://t.co/Fj0m4vI Friday, November 16, 2012 6:26:06 PMTwitter Web Client
BUTTERFLYYY IN THE SKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Friday, November 16, 2012 6:23:42 PMTwitter Web Client
My boss is a fucking baller: "Gonna step out, buy a bottle of gin, be right back. No joke, buying a bottle of gin" Friday, November 16, 2012 6:16:21 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @Colithika: The lion king is amazing!!! Friday, November 16, 2012 4:10:30 PMTwitter Web Client
I don't want this moustache watch... I NEEEED IT: http://t.co/AywVMkR Friday, November 16, 2012 3:28:13 PMTwitter Web Client
Mmmmm. Free pizza. Thanks @mercurypay Friday, November 16, 2012 11:41:23 AMTwitter Web Client
[11/15/2012 5:53:40 PM] Xtina: http://t.co/YYQdRzP Friday, November 16, 2012 9:01:50 AMTwitter Web Client
I am naming my next ulcer "Booker" Thursday, November 15, 2012 3:13:12 PMTwitter Web Client
These Ukranians do whatever the fuck I say. It's awesome. I could tell them to put a dick in the app and they'd do it. Thursday, November 15, 2012 2:07:32 PMTwitter Web Client
DLK witnessed a temper tantrum of me screaming fuck multiple times & slamming my computer around because it kept freezing. He was concerned Thursday, November 15, 2012 10:41:25 AMTwitter Web Client
To do: work bullshit and install android 4.2 on my phone (some hot ASOP binaries, right off Google's servers) Thursday, November 15, 2012 12:10:02 AMTwitter Web Client
Yay I hope we get a blizzard RT @tomwcleary Another nor'easter could be on the way for Thanksgiving week: http://t.co/cES1yjo #ctweather
In reply to @tomwcleary's tweet
 Wednesday, November 14, 2012 12:43:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Bam Bam on the Flinstones should have been called Bang Bang. Wednesday, November 14, 2012 12:37:44 PMTwitter Web Client
Overheard in the morning: "It looks like I just got fucked. That's because I did get fucked" Wednesday, November 14, 2012 10:14:41 AMTwitter Web Client
I need 3-4 fucking clones of me right now. fuck man Tuesday, November 13, 2012 1:31:37 PMTwitter Web Client
This guy can go fuck his mother. he's the worst: https://t.co/QzNAeT2 Tuesday, November 13, 2012 1:01:36 AMTwitter Web Client

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