| Tweet | Date | Source |
|---|---|---|
| Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. No need for a 5 hour commentary after I make one simple comment. Can't get anything done here over your yappin | Wednesday, December 17, 2014 5:41:33 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Great job on the 6 pixel low res infographic ya morons. Because I can really read this.... @washingtonpost http://t.co/wY5BqeU6ff | Tuesday, December 16, 2014 7:43:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| In my career, just realized I slapped 2 out of 3 of my bosses asses. No homo. | Sunday, December 14, 2014 7:05:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bro. If you're gonna sing Whiney Houston, I'm straight up taking a nap | Sunday, December 14, 2014 4:38:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| In a cab. The guy on 99.5 right now is the cheesiest. Bro no one cares about whatever lip you're flappin. Straight up babbling | Saturday, December 13, 2014 1:25:48 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Funny how Google pulled Pirate Bay apps from the Play Store one DAY before it got raided by police. They KNEW | Tuesday, December 09, 2014 4:13:06 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Happy bday to the biggest #abuserslist I know besides myself @__JLu | Sunday, November 30, 2014 5:28:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Standing on line with my favorite Ecuadorian in the cold waiting for Foo Fighters tickets (@ Citi Field) https://www.swarmapp.com/portfolioso/checkin/5470a959498eeda256a1bcb8?s=91CV8SVPsw8qenEefPl3SAiPLuw&ref=tw | Saturday, November 22, 2014 10:19:07 AM | Foursquare |
| Woof. You ever know a really hot chick in college and then you saw her pic like 5 years later and it's like woof? Yeah that just happened. | Friday, November 14, 2014 4:15:15 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Welp, at least I got to nap longer because @MTA uses inferior equipment where they can't get the doors to close. #late #completefailure | Friday, November 07, 2014 8:09:33 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I just missed this shot. #cubceldapool http://t.co/Oaoa6zFgRY | Sunday, November 02, 2014 10:29:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The apples on my sangria right now are SUGAR | Saturday, November 01, 2014 2:23:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Happy Mexican Sugar Skull Day (or whatever they call it) | Saturday, November 01, 2014 1:39:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @DadBoner: Happy 'Ween to ya, boo guys. | Friday, October 31, 2014 4:51:37 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| @XtinaSchelin they don't let you. Used to IMAP mail to Thunderbird and delete from there but that didn't work well In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet | Monday, October 27, 2014 11:55:28 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Happy birthday Mal's mom! | Saturday, October 25, 2014 10:29:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm at @MakingStrides Against Breast Cancer in Purchase, NY w/ @maljnew https://www.swarmapp.com/c/lHWfH6PafsT | Sunday, October 19, 2014 9:56:21 AM | Foursquare |
| Taylor calling out props to Cheap Trick @RockNationRadio #SonicHighways | Friday, October 17, 2014 11:32:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I did a shot of whiskey an hour ago and chased it with a sip of grapefruit beer. The whiskey is fine. The beer is repeating on me. #FML | Thursday, October 09, 2014 11:54:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Special appearance by owner Dick Cantwell" Love how cocky this guy is. "I own this brewery, bitch. Get a load of me" http://t.co/iBmpE8eOkB | Thursday, October 09, 2014 10:33:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Paid for coffee with @googlewallet on my Moto X and got funny looks. I'm sure if I used Apple Pay, it would've been fine. | Friday, October 03, 2014 10:03:43 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Shouldn't take 15 minutes to order a funnel cake and you should print cards where the barcodes don't scratch off so easily. @LunaParkNYC | Saturday, September 27, 2014 7:50:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| #YeahJeets http://t.co/RroTAPapn6 | Friday, September 26, 2014 1:32:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Good read and also explains why Apple pisses me off http://t.co/yY3RuWu9AD | Tuesday, September 23, 2014 1:10:03 AM | feedly cloud |
| Lol. They canceled the release and didn't happen to email their release engineer. Only managers. Who don't do the maintenance. #winning | Monday, September 22, 2014 9:12:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Rick roll'd at karaoke. Hasn't happened to me in years. http://t.co/GArxYvt063 | Friday, September 19, 2014 7:45:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The most hysterical Beyoncé vs Britney debate is happening between @Luigitime and @MichaelShatin and @MalJNew is missing it all. | Saturday, September 13, 2014 1:39:19 AM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @PaulONeillYES: Tip of the gap to ya Jete | Sunday, September 07, 2014 5:06:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| SO COOL (@ Dave Grohl Alley in OH w/ @maljnew) https://www.swarmapp.com/portfolioso/checkin/54037c5d498e8583ff55eb5b?s=_0vymnafnkX-5rgjQRkOCSU9zyA&ref=tw http://t.co/7NegF19Fjj | Sunday, August 31, 2014 3:49:50 PM | Foursquare |
| @scoopANDslam is that app out for android? In reply to @scoopANDslam's tweet | Thursday, August 28, 2014 10:42:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ah good. It deleted now. I sounded like and idiot. Hope my app didn't snapshot it... | Wednesday, August 27, 2014 1:09:15 AM | Twitter Web App |
| RT @KFCBarstool: I'm officially over the summer. Give me the Fall ASAP. | Wednesday, August 20, 2014 1:56:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I just editited the db for my twitter app and probably broke it. #shit | Wednesday, August 13, 2014 10:40:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Colin hasn't stopped talking for 20 minutes straight. Go to Japan already | Thursday, August 07, 2014 11:27:15 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Good guy train conductor is not only announcing all the stations, but 2-3 tourist attractions per stop. Likes to yap yap yap | Tuesday, July 29, 2014 8:51:56 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I know some guys in the sanitation so we can make problems disappear. | Monday, July 28, 2014 10:45:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| There is something extremely satisfying about that snap when opening a Snapple bottle. Is that why its called Snapple? #mindblown | Saturday, July 26, 2014 3:24:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Modified Iron Mountain's deposit form. Dare me to send this in? #useaPDFbro #DATASS http://t.co/tPgFDcYEUz | Monday, July 21, 2014 12:34:25 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| When I pointed the DB connection to nothing, it fixed it. For fuck's sake our app is such a piece of shit. | Sunday, July 20, 2014 11:27:47 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| So I had a server maintenance tonight to swap out config files to prep for go-live. App broke. (see next tweet) | Sunday, July 20, 2014 11:27:24 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Heading to Cleveland today, sports capital of the US & A! Gonna hang with Lebron, Johnny Football and see this stuff: http://t.co/WFRc0hfTWP | Friday, July 18, 2014 10:50:27 AM | Twitter for Android |
| They try to manage it through their site, but it's slow as hell. I'd rather build an app, forward ports and send CURL requests through. In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Tuesday, July 15, 2014 2:03:11 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| My DLink Smart Plug (http://t.co/mFEtrFJ2YT) runs lighttpd. Their management interface sux. I will sniff traffic and figure out their API | Tuesday, July 15, 2014 2:00:45 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fuckin a. Server error. This isn't supposed to happen | Monday, July 14, 2014 1:14:45 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Nomz & margs (@ Pachanga Patterson - @pachangaastoria) https://www.swarmapp.com/portfolioso/checkin/53c1cc88498edc9bf2a6b444?s=EzJEn5Eh8EmohqXuqMxg52fPfQQ&ref=tw | Saturday, July 12, 2014 8:02:16 PM | foursquare |
| Happy Murica Day, you guys🎆 🇺🇸 | Friday, July 04, 2014 4:30:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| VIP here. Beers were ready for me upon arrival so enjoyyyy (@ O'Hara's Restaurant & Pub) https://www.swarmapp.com/portfolioso/checkin/53b43c6e498ecb9aeb9312ed?s=UYB2AzW52Clrnq-Pj-avpxaeOHo&ref=tw | Wednesday, July 02, 2014 1:07:58 PM | foursquare |
| So now Apple is jacking features from Win 8/Metro? http://t.co/CkKj2TyoRH | Monday, June 30, 2014 11:11:24 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Tonight is Sam's going away party. This is going to get reaaaaaallllll sloppy. If I pee on you, I apologize in advance. | Thursday, June 26, 2014 6:20:54 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| RT @BarstoolJJ: This is what #OldTimersDay needs from @PaulONeillYES http://t.co/1BwrWmOAp6 | Sunday, June 22, 2014 4:05:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Made the Jimmy Two Times reference tonight #Goodfellas #getthepapersgetthepapers | Thursday, June 19, 2014 10:27:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dude. That's the biggest tap handle I've ever seen. You can't even deep throat that shit | Wednesday, June 18, 2014 7:49:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just tried to change the category of my company on Foursquare from Tech Startup to Circus. Let's see if another superuser approves | Tuesday, June 17, 2014 12:38:47 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Our software's such a piece of shit this infographic went out in the weekly round up. I kid you not... http://t.co/2IW0NsUlBd | Monday, June 16, 2014 9:49:02 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I've got this new dev trying to explain to me how some app works. Except, he doesn't realize I wrote said app 2 years ago. #Fail | Wednesday, June 11, 2014 5:02:55 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| "Dude is that Van Gundy? What the fuck happened to Van Gundy." "Dude. You're just old" | Tuesday, June 10, 2014 9:10:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Words cannot caption this picture. @ The Governors Ball Music Festival http://t.co/g0u5wAGYGC | Sunday, June 08, 2014 7:58:26 PM | |
| You're mistaken if you don't think I'm putting Mal's "You can't be a pimp and a prostitute too" White Stripes sticker on my work laptop. | Sunday, June 01, 2014 2:16:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The amount of 90s techno at this wedding is making me happy | Friday, May 30, 2014 11:25:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| One of my Russians told me the following: "You either drink and smoke, or you die healthy" apparently the expression is catchier in Russian. | Thursday, May 29, 2014 10:04:08 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Ear secks tho: http://t.co/VeGaP3T7Yd | Thursday, May 29, 2014 12:02:43 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Colin. Shut the fuck up. Jesus Christ. Hasn't shut his trap all morning since I walked in. I don't even give a fuck about your jibber jabber | Tuesday, May 20, 2014 11:27:35 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Drinkin Bud Light bottles. Tastes like the Grape, but cheaper | Friday, May 16, 2014 11:46:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Kevin's friend is playing ass twerkin videos all night and the gf is like: I approve of this http://t.co/L0ymJxkgDJ | Friday, May 16, 2014 11:37:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Actual Metro North poster... Very poor wording. Delays DO happen often, and I'm never glad. Fuckers. http://t.co/Y98iLV2LBf | Friday, May 16, 2014 2:00:58 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| But I appreesh, bro | Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:28:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Waspito @mich_amore if he only kills bad guys, I approve. | Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:05:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Drankin all day watchin 90s and 2000s rap/R&B vids before we chill with @baldvinny in 203 later | Friday, May 02, 2014 3:20:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @kerbear88 because Fairfield gets cheap no name assholes for concerts. In reply to @kerbear88's tweet | Wednesday, April 30, 2014 11:08:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Sorry Mals, but based on Emma Stone's Tonight Show appearance, I must cheat on you with her. | Wednesday, April 30, 2014 12:10:14 AM | Twitter for Android Tablets |
| Take Ray Bans out of case. Frame is cracked in two and the lens fell out. Happy Monday to you also, cunts | Monday, April 28, 2014 10:33:57 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Pistol grip pump in my lap at all times | Friday, April 25, 2014 10:08:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This blew my mind. Apparently, people open bananas backwards like monkeys? @ Booker Software http://t.co/84GXgAnD1W | Thursday, April 17, 2014 4:49:02 PM | |
| It's very apparent that these fuckers don't trust me any more and will hardly let me touch production | Wednesday, April 16, 2014 4:01:12 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Apparently, that error means that my password was too long. Fucking assholes In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Friday, April 11, 2014 4:34:37 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| finally an Android calendar app that doesn't look like ASS: "New Android Calendar look and features leaked" http://t.co/VmozzOM3mZ | Wednesday, April 09, 2014 3:35:06 PM | feedly cloud |
| I will never be as dapper as this guy on the subway. Looked like a classy guy from the 50s. Girlfriend's gaydar went off, mine did not... | Friday, April 04, 2014 11:35:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's okay. The last time the Yankees opened 0-2 was in 2009. The last time before that was 1998. What happened then? | Thursday, April 03, 2014 12:23:16 AM | Twitter for Android |
| It's a grand day! Happy Yankee season! | Tuesday, April 01, 2014 11:29:22 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I think it's the zombie apocalypse out there, you guys | Saturday, March 29, 2014 9:50:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Colin: "Whenever someone says Smoke in the rollout chat, I imagine they're playing a smoking game... App8 is rolled...everyone smoke!" | Tuesday, March 25, 2014 2:05:15 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Been drinking for 3 days straight. Cousin's kids baptism is tomorrow. Will definitely have the shits | Saturday, March 22, 2014 9:06:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Accidentally got drunk in Chicago. Capone sent me. | Friday, March 14, 2014 11:21:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm in Chicago during the wrong time period. I wanna hang with Johnny Torrio and Al Capone | Friday, March 14, 2014 10:30:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| When we make a one line bugfix in our app: http://t.co/A1ECzqnbhl | Wednesday, March 12, 2014 5:44:15 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Apparently, if you cancel Time Warner's shit service, they don't actually do it. Incompetent fucks. | Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:41:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Happy Monday! Start your workweek right with late MTA Metro North trains. Pieces of shit. | Monday, February 24, 2014 8:08:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| What's worse? Al Quaeda or the Westboro Baptist Church? I'd go with Westboro... | Saturday, February 15, 2014 6:48:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| First tweet from the Windows 8 App. This shit is pretty cool | Thursday, January 30, 2014 2:23:51 PM | Twitter for Windows |
| @AP Good. I'm sick of motherfuckers getting free handouts and I have to pay through the nose for everything | Monday, January 27, 2014 6:56:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Honest to God. This is more fun than I ever had at the Grape with the exception of the night of graduation | Saturday, January 25, 2014 11:17:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Windows 8 weather app thinks it's 82 degrees in New York. FOR SURE NOT. It's less than the reciprocal of 82... http://t.co/Bmnk8BLp2e | Friday, January 24, 2014 5:43:31 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Such a narcissist. Just looked at my reflection in a tap handle and couldn't get over how fuckin hot I am | Friday, January 17, 2014 9:37:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Happy bday grandma | Friday, January 17, 2014 8:57:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm just the happiest. @MalJNew | Saturday, January 11, 2014 1:00:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Our API documentation looks like a drunk rest stop bathroom attendant took Twitter bootstrap and threw up all over the webpage | Thursday, January 09, 2014 3:05:51 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Bring me this dual GPU Aorus gaming laptop that's is less than an inch thick: http://t.co/RfUydLXjH4 | Wednesday, January 08, 2014 11:08:09 PM | feedly cloud |
| Oh Jorge, I'm very disappointed in your test scores. Is everything alright at home? | Monday, December 30, 2013 6:52:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| These apple pies are knocking me on my ass. | Saturday, December 28, 2013 6:45:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Its time for apple pies! | Saturday, December 28, 2013 6:10:21 PM | Twitter for Android |