Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit



954 results for TIME


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Page 2 of 4 | Showing 251 to 500
Tweet Date Source
The 80s we're an absurd time. What a wild time to be alive! Wednesday, August 28, 2019 9:25:13 PMTwitter for Android
Abysmal home/away detection... Always says I'm home when I'm not...

Weird crap all the time.

Rick Osterloh needs to come in a kick everyone at nest labs in the ass and make this shit better
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, August 07, 2019 3:06:22 AMTwitter for Android
Whoever over at Google works on Chrome's password manager are a bunch of goddamn incompetent assholes. How can you not determine the difference between two subdomains? I locked my accounts out like 95 times because of this shit Monday, June 24, 2019 4:01:26 PMTwitter Web Client
@AEPOhio how many goddamn times is the power going to go out? The fuck is this, a third world country? Thursday, June 13, 2019 1:31:48 PMTwitter for Android
1:41AM on Sunday morning and the MTA answered my facetious tweet. Not only did I call them a bunch of assholes but they told me they were hiring! What an organization!

BTW - How much overtime is that social networking marketing person making? https://t.co/rrqxZVX315 		Sunday, May 19, 2019 2:24:12 AMTwitter for Android
@AjitPaiFCC @wifinowevents @WiFiAlliance @HettingClaus You're a mid-band spectrum that's been largely fallow for two decades. It's time to launch a comprehensive review of the future of this band, make a sober assessment of the facts, and then make a timely decision on the best way forward
In reply to @AjitPaiFCC's tweet
Tuesday, May 14, 2019 3:36:51 PMTwitter for Android
The one time I'm actually in the office, my boss was remote and heard me calling him an asshole through my coworkers mic, who was in a call with him... Whoops Tuesday, May 14, 2019 2:08:08 PMTwitter for Android
Last fucking time I buy SHIT off an Instagram ad. Never seen more garbage dumpster companies selling such low quality shit and no regard for customer service. Fucking Facebook. They ruin everything. Instagram used to be decent Wednesday, May 01, 2019 5:05:35 PMTwitter Web Client
Pulled every single muscle trying to pull the starter 800 times and also have a blister in my hand.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, April 29, 2019 12:44:33 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ on the cross. Powershell is fucking convoluted sometimes: https://t.co/bV99olykPa Friday, April 05, 2019 3:00:15 AMTwitter Web Client
It's 2019. I just had a ragefest trying to plug in a Micro-USB A cable in the correct way. Took me 6 times flipping it.

Anyone not using USB-C on newly launched products are IDIOTS 		Tuesday, March 26, 2019 1:04:57 PMTwitter Web App
The fucking IRS didn't waste any time taking my damn money. I scheduled a payment for Monday, 3/25 and they drafted it from my account RIGHT NOW. At 2:30 AM on a Saturday #eatadick Saturday, March 23, 2019 2:42:08 AMTwitter for Android
If I wasn't around, the place would look like Tobacco Road, and as the dedicated housekeeper, I don't have time or patience for these rats to stink up an entire room of the house and require a 20 min cage cleaning each week
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, March 22, 2019 12:59:23 AMTwitter for Android
@googlephotos Ya'll might want to work with the Chrome Canary team... I can't drag and drop upload more than 9 photos at a time without the upload process stopping Friday, March 15, 2019 11:13:09 PMTwitter Web App
It is impossible to make the @Microsoft @surface Book sleep. If you breathe on the damn thing wrong, it wakes up again. Sleep mode never works. What a waste of energy. Have to power it off and just deal with a cold boot every time. Friday, March 08, 2019 2:13:00 AMTwitter for Android
For real though. My battery has been dying super quickly recently. They're lying to you that batteries degrade over time. Real reason it's dying quickly is because the mic is active 100% of the time and it's doing AI to profile us and show targeted ads.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, February 24, 2019 12:54:11 AMTwitter for Android
My dad was at one of these MSG shows in '77. What a time to be alive!

https://t.co/KGmoK0jQQt 		Monday, February 11, 2019 1:50:34 AMTwitter for Android
My company takes so goddamn long to approve my travel that the flights go up $200 by the time I'm able to book it

Fucking morons. Their inefficiency costs them 		Sunday, January 06, 2019 2:22:38 AMTwitter Web Client
Dudeeeeee... I just went back in time Sunday, November 04, 2018 1:05:46 AMTwitter Web Client
Run em over, I say! Ain't got no time for delaying millions of people

https://t.co/bgGd5JcWON 		Monday, October 22, 2018 10:26:44 AMTwitter for Android
New blog post: Sometimes I Wonder Weird Things... (tl;dr social media ramble) https://t.co/xZW8dzvUgV Sunday, October 07, 2018 1:22:46 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
LUKE MOFUGGIN VOIT. Looks like a dude who gave his mother a hard time growing up. https://t.co/no6mrTZMA4 Wednesday, October 03, 2018 10:41:57 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu Yeah but if you think that's bad... Business version starts a new thread every time you X out a DM conversation. Absurd UX.
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Wednesday, June 27, 2018 1:56:14 PMTwitter for Android
What in the actual fuck did @googlechrome do to their UI in Canary? it literally looks like we went back in time 5 years to Firefox's UI Tuesday, June 26, 2018 1:28:53 PMTwitter Web Client
Just because the kid on the photo of Time wasn't separated doesn't mean hundreds of others weren't so if you point out that cover is a lie, it's symbolism, you inbred idiots. Sunday, June 24, 2018 6:59:03 AMTwitter for Android
Now someone shit the train... This one time, I am innocent of the ripass Tuesday, May 15, 2018 10:15:35 PMTwitter for Android
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Pellentesque interdum rutrum sodales. Nullam mattis fermentum libero, non volutpat.

Anything after that is > 140 chrs and I'm testing their tweet_mode=extended on user_timeline.json API 		Tuesday, April 10, 2018 4:58:14 PMTwitter Web Client
Just got paged with a server alert. No longer annoyed now that the new company actually pays overtime for this shit. Tuesday, April 10, 2018 2:20:25 AMTwitter Web Client
Hey @Twitter IDGAF about tweets my followers like. My timeline should be just their tweets, in reverse chronological order. Stop trying to be Facebook and Instagram. Wednesday, March 28, 2018 10:12:52 AMTwitter Web Client
Dude fuck bourbon St. It's like fuckin times square. You gotta go to the dives. My boy Dave's here all the time Tuesday, January 02, 2018 11:13:31 PMTwitter for Android
I cracked my back like a hundred times and it's sexxxxxxxx Friday, September 01, 2017 2:22:12 AMTwitter for Android
This greasy, nasty tasting pizza Delta gave us for free b/c of 5 hr delay was so vile, I washed my hands 3 times and still smell rancid oils Friday, August 18, 2017 1:47:33 PMTwitter for Android
I don't give a fuck about Philly Technician Jamaal. Comcast sux. @AjitPaiFCC sucks, Philly sucks. Stop showing up as an ad in my timeline https://t.co/u81dKbJd95 Thursday, August 17, 2017 9:25:07 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu I've got 477 wedding pics missing timestamps and need to write a script to correct it so they stay in the right order on Google Photos
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Tuesday, August 15, 2017 1:20:46 AMTwitter Web Client
Yo @waze love your app, but it's buggy af on Android. I had to force close it 5 times and restart the nav because it kept freezing. Wtf: https://t.co/6b0FkQogct Sunday, August 13, 2017 4:45:58 PMTwitter for Android
Every time I go to a bachelor party I end up with a new nickname. First it was Jorge. Now it's Smooth J Saturday, August 12, 2017 12:02:46 AMTwitter for Android
Sometimes you get a shitty shuffle that stinks! Not today. The MTA could shut down and I'd still be happy! https://t.co/c5Z7zqrCz7 Wednesday, July 12, 2017 6:17:35 PMTwitter for Android
There's an antique in front of me writing out a check at the grocery store and I ain't got no time for that Sunday, July 02, 2017 1:13:04 PMTwitter for Android
I need a butler to food-block me. Just because I can order anything anytime doesn't mean my fat ass should eat a burger at 3am. Sunday, June 04, 2017 8:52:16 AMTwitter for Android
The videos I just found on my phone are the most absurd things of all time. Sunday, June 04, 2017 3:56:56 AMTwitter for Android
At the same time, going to a local rastafari party seems like the tits Friday, June 02, 2017 6:14:45 PMTwitter for Android
Slam on your horn one more time shithead Friday, April 21, 2017 9:39:08 PMTwitter for Android
Flight attendant counted us like 9 times. Straight up doing calculus to check we're all here. Saturday, April 15, 2017 9:29:49 PMTwitter for Android
Anyone else notice Jennifer Aniston blasts her nips like 90% of the time on Friends? Sunday, April 09, 2017 10:48:51 AMTwitter for Android
Maybe it's the wine talking but I reaaaalllyyyy am having a hard time not singing the Spice Girls out loud at this party rn Saturday, April 01, 2017 10:42:46 PMTwitter for Android
only in fuckin eastchester do you have landscapers that uses 5 leaf blowers at a time. shut the fuck up outside. trying to sleep Saturday, April 01, 2017 3:46:01 PMTwitter Web Client
Time to go to the mofuggin bar Wednesday, March 29, 2017 3:41:12 PMTwitter for Android
I walked into the office for the first time in 2 months and I'm about to get on a plane right back to Columbus Monday, March 27, 2017 12:24:15 PMTwitter Web Client
Someone get our CTO on suicide watch after our uptime dropped to 99.6 this weekend Monday, March 27, 2017 10:19:25 AMTwitter Web Client
I passed out 0 times during g this shindig and yacked 0 times. The most proud of myself. Sunday, March 26, 2017 2:42:06 AMTwitter for Android
I just got iced for the first time in my life. People still do that shit? Friday, March 24, 2017 11:03:09 PMTwitter for Android
This is fucking stupid. So if the tablet/laptop is a timebomb, it'll be safer in the checked area than the cabin? https://t.co/2MUqILasvc Tuesday, March 21, 2017 9:31:27 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin Time Warner/Charter Spectrum transition. Billin portal's broken af... The ONE invoice I need for my expense report is not available Wednesday, March 08, 2017 11:45:27 PMTwitter Web Client
It's Always Sunny is basically a show about a buncha white guys yelling 98% of the time. Wednesday, March 08, 2017 12:51:28 AMTwitter for Android
Do your own fuckin maintenance next time. https://t.co/vTK9ZeYAtI Monday, February 13, 2017 11:03:53 AMTwitter Web Client
Annmarie called/ video chatted me no less than 15 times in the past two days and it's driving me up a fuckin wall Thursday, February 09, 2017 8:07:14 PMTwitter for Android
🎵if I could falllll into the sky. Would you think time would pass. Me by. Cause you know if walk a thousand miles if I could just. See. You🎵 Sunday, January 29, 2017 4:21:27 AMTwitter for Android
I'm efficient as fuck at work. Fuck off 90% of the time, yet still accomplish mad DevOps eliteness. More that other dumbs Friday, December 16, 2016 5:05:35 PMTwitter Web Client
I'd do ridiculous things to go back in time and be here: https://t.co/zESp8BZRvJ Thursday, December 15, 2016 2:41:21 PMTwitter Web Client
Visual Studio is updating, so I have ample time to poop

💩💩💩 		Thursday, December 15, 2016 2:01:14 PMTwitter Web Client
@timehop should fix the UI in the Android app when there's no network but the carrier still reports 4G. Looks absolutely vile. Be better https://t.co/Hkc7ZXFZQK Monday, December 12, 2016 8:24:16 AMTwitter for Android
Second time this charger wore out. I just replaced it a few months ago and am gentle with it. Someone send me a Pixel, cunts. USB-C ftw https://t.co/rRlGyOSp1Y Sunday, December 11, 2016 1:57:14 AMTwitter for Android
How many times do I have to tell these silly airlines that airplane mode is optional Saturday, November 26, 2016 4:53:43 PMTwitter for Android
@KFCBarstool it's about time you got this article back up on Barstool. Devnest fucked it up and lost it
In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet
Sunday, October 30, 2016 8:16:02 PMTwitter for Android
Fun times in Cleveland todayyy Sunday, October 30, 2016 6:15:01 PMTwitter for Android
@RMerlinDev any chance 380.62_1 had a crashing httpd issue also? I've had my webui not accessible a few times and don't know why
In reply to @RMerlinDev's tweet
Sunday, October 30, 2016 6:09:51 PMTwitter for Android
Yo Cleveland, you're welcome. #ItsMillerTime Tuesday, October 25, 2016 10:31:37 PMTwitter for Android
1:56 is the last train home? What a pussy assed early time. Suck it @MetroNorth Saturday, October 15, 2016 1:31:33 AMTwitter for Android
Dem NYC cabbie smellz. Much more tolerable when you don't have to deal with them all the time Tuesday, October 11, 2016 11:19:52 PMTwitter for Android
Dear @Windows. Would be nice if your fuckin OS didn't hang trying to reboot every time and I didn't have to pull my battery Friday, September 16, 2016 9:15:34 AMTwitter Web Client
Train went about 6 inches before stopping again. Train is moving a dicks length at a time. Tuesday, September 13, 2016 6:42:58 PMTwitter for Android
Aero shake is the stupidest fuckin Windows feature of all time: https://t.co/O10A6VBY3W Thursday, September 08, 2016 12:05:22 PMTwitter Web Client
WordPress 4.6 is slow as fuck on my VPS and I get a server error every time I post an article now... But it posts. Wednesday, August 24, 2016 1:55:40 AMTwitter Web Client
Mal's the brilliant author of my IT guy's tinder. Epic times. Sunday, August 21, 2016 2:04:34 AMTwitter for Android
Props to @Moto_USA for timely updates to The Moto X Pure. Just got my May 2016 monthly security patches. It's August. Friday, August 12, 2016 2:51:55 AMTwitter for Android
Celebrating one solid week of my Time Warner outage Thursday, August 04, 2016 10:26:14 AMTwitter Web Client
The LES is a very bad influence. Every time I come to hair of the dog for "a drink or two max" I leave hammered Tuesday, August 02, 2016 10:58:40 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 nah. Always a Yankee fan. We're rebuilding for the next couple years. I'll root for them and Miller in the meantime
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Tuesday, August 02, 2016 10:30:03 PMTwitter for Android
Time Warner is giving me cancer Tuesday, August 02, 2016 3:12:26 PMTwitter Web Client
This meeting us an absolute waste of my time Tuesday, August 02, 2016 10:52:38 AMTwitter for Android
Still waiting for a foreman from Time Warner to call me. They said I'd get a call in 2 hours. Didn't get the call Monday, August 01, 2016 12:35:03 PMTwitter Web Client
Still have no internet since Thursday. Thanks Time Warner. Promised me a call two days in a row from a supervisor. Never happened. Sunday, July 31, 2016 11:10:27 PMTwitter for Android
After 7 motherfuckin hours they left with the problem unresolved. Jesus Christ Time Warner. Get lawst Friday, July 29, 2016 6:24:21 PMTwitter for Android
Hour number 7 and Time Warner cannot get my modem activated. You have one job! Jesus Christ on the cross. Friday, July 29, 2016 6:12:59 PMTwitter for Android
The definition of a moron is this guy aimlessly switching out modems and none of them work every time. Jaggoffs have been here since 11 Friday, July 29, 2016 5:55:58 PMTwitter for Android
Hour number 4 of Time Warner being unable to activate my modem. Missing work. Two days without internet. Need compensation for this bullshit Friday, July 29, 2016 3:00:54 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking absurd @TWC_Help wasting 2.5 hours of my time because they can't get the fucking modem activated. Garbage service Friday, July 29, 2016 1:27:56 PMTwitter for Android
I'm gonna fuckin punch Time Warner in the face. Friday, July 29, 2016 1:07:40 PMTwitter for Android
@scoopandslam it's the buggiest thing of all time
In reply to @scoopandslam's tweet
Saturday, July 09, 2016 1:48:32 AMTwitter for Android
As if Time Warner wasn't bad enough, Charter suits are making employees even more miserable with idiotic HR policy: https://t.co/tZFGxoKEdi Tuesday, July 05, 2016 11:10:52 PMTwitter for Android
Don't threaten me with a good time. I can go on forever with the 90s techno https://t.co/6EXPRNfHFg Monday, July 04, 2016 10:16:47 PMTwitter for Android
Pretty sure I set a record with the number of times I puked yesterday (muted) on conference calls. Every call before 1PM. Thursday, June 23, 2016 2:04:50 AMTwitter for Android
I need to get my life together. This is the 3rd or 4th time I got belligerent over sausage and peppers. Just ask @Fantasy_Mania about Boston Wednesday, June 15, 2016 10:16:19 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ. How old am I getting that I'm hanging out with three cougar grannies and I'm actually having a good time. Saturday, June 11, 2016 7:06:44 PMTwitter for Android
Please replace @RealMichaelKay on Yes full time https://t.co/pdLUv4qvLS Sunday, May 15, 2016 8:48:09 PMTwitter for Android
I was drunk twice today and didn't get hungover either time! #score Tuesday, May 03, 2016 8:20:23 PMTwitter for Android
What kind of stupid fuckin system doesn't show you a summary of your appointment time on the thank you screen after you schedule something? Tuesday, April 26, 2016 1:08:08 AMTwitter Web Client
Hey look! Time Warner did something right for once. https://t.co/bENGZ8bQ5E Thursday, April 14, 2016 7:10:04 PMTwitter for Android
I've got @MalJNew is yelling at me for being on my computer coding, yet at the same time @BadPointer is all like: https://t.co/6wUlXkgBtz Saturday, March 26, 2016 12:44:12 AMTwitter Web Client
Robert De Niro fucks with his socks on which is both psychotic and awesome at the same time. Saturday, March 12, 2016 3:38:19 PMTwitter for Android
IDK how i feel about the Pope popping up on my timeline after I tweet some BS #goingtohell https://t.co/3VgiDHVKAv Friday, March 04, 2016 4:34:39 PMTwitter Web Client
@Android Fix this fuckin bluetooth bug so I stop factory resetting my phone 6 times a week https://t.co/By330odfZs
In reply to @Android's tweet
Thursday, March 03, 2016 4:46:56 PMTwitter Web Client
@TWC_Ohio You guys upgrading to Maxx in Columbus anytime soon? Ohio Internet is in the dark ages and there's no motivation to compete. Wednesday, February 17, 2016 6:00:09 PMTwitter Web Client
Win 10 lock screen backgrounds change all the time. Got this one and was like wtf am I on drugs or something? https://t.co/5ZlbUtuZ0f Thursday, February 04, 2016 5:49:38 PMTwitter for Android
@NYCTSubway every morning around this time Manhattan bound R trains take forever show up at 46th st in Queens. Thursday, January 28, 2016 8:47:15 AMTwitter for Android
I hate lower Manhattan, I hate the entire MTA, I hate the economy, I hate New York City, I hate work, and I hate being a hater all the time Wednesday, January 20, 2016 6:43:58 PMTwitter for Android
Just takes one time to change the perception of mankind. Friday, January 08, 2016 1:27:36 AMTwitter Web Client
Barney: "This one time I fucked a girl... I busted her bed frame."
Me: "..."
Barney: "And she paid for it..." 		Monday, December 21, 2015 1:49:00 AMTwitter for Android
Just called out a VP for booking a 2016 planning meeting over a thank you lunch scheduled already. Doesn't the fuckin guy check free times? Thursday, December 10, 2015 10:33:13 AMTwitter Web Client
I told our director of security to "get the fuck out of my face, I don't have time for your noise" today. Thursday, October 29, 2015 11:55:11 PMTwitter for Android
Just imported time in Python. Why can't I import time and manipulate it in real life? Friday, October 23, 2015 5:04:48 PMTwitter Web Client
I feel like this log file is yelling at me. It sternly told me what to not do next time... https://t.co/TYZBBvhRQs Thursday, October 22, 2015 9:59:35 AMTwitter Web Client
Like the time I blackout called my grandparents in the Bronx and talked for 20 mins about the Yankees in '09 and had no clue the next day
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, October 21, 2015 10:56:50 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 depends. If they're in college, its very normal. Did it all the time. Barstool took over the Pepsi porch tonight, so that explains it
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Friday, September 18, 2015 9:21:30 PMTwitter for Android
That time you have to piss and you didn't even take off yet. This is why you don't get hammered before flights Monday, September 14, 2015 3:39:03 PMTwitter for Android
Oh wait plane seatbelts protect you from turbulence? You ever ride the NYC subways? Shit's 95 times worse than turbulence. Monday, September 14, 2015 3:32:10 PMTwitter for Android
I'm awesome all the time... But especially after drinking. Sunday, September 06, 2015 1:33:49 AMTwitter for Android
@Windows 10 + @Skype are being cocksuckers right now. When someone sends you a skype image, it asks you which program to use EVERY TIME. Monday, August 31, 2015 5:50:01 PMTwitter Web Client
Remember that time I confused two white people at the Willie Nelson concert? Friday, August 14, 2015 11:29:44 PMTwitter for Android
Is it me, or is Gmail all jacked up right now? Seems like Google had issues every time I tried to use it. Hmph Monday, August 03, 2015 1:04:38 AMTwitter Web Client
@RockNationRadio if I hear oh Sherrie or Rosanna one more time I'm jumping off the world trade #jk
In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet
Thursday, July 30, 2015 8:05:46 PMTwitter for Android
I'm sorry, but ain't nothing better than coming home from school in '98, throwing on VH1 and watching Semisonic's Closing Time. Saturday, July 11, 2015 12:14:09 AMTwitter for Android
Pilot: "Delay is due to air traffic issues at LaGuardia. They do this to us all the time"

Not thunderstorms ya fuckin cunts 		Tuesday, July 07, 2015 5:10:24 PMTwitter for Android
Mind is beyond blown that we're finally sein Pluto for the first time. Soooo cooollll http://t.co/y1tLF7Jyqz #space #feedly Thursday, July 02, 2015 10:00:14 PMTwitter for Android
The one time I bring lunch these fucking cunts clean the fridge and throw it out Friday, June 26, 2015 1:34:23 PMTwitter for Android
Remember that time in college when I destroyed a guy's Confederate flag? I must have been ahead of my time. Thursday, June 25, 2015 7:18:35 PMTwitter for Android
Gotta make sure they get that change control ticket in tho. Not that there's one for the same maintenance we couldn't get right the 1st time Tuesday, June 09, 2015 10:37:44 AMTwitter Web Client
"Sometimes, you just want to shake a bitch" -@kevinrose Wednesday, May 27, 2015 9:36:47 PMTwitter for Android
Looks like Time Warner's SSO is vulnerable to LogJam. New Chrome blocks it. Company can't do anything right. http://t.co/Or6MzeF9Ow Tuesday, May 26, 2015 2:34:40 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm going to charge fucking time warner for the extra electric Tuesday, May 26, 2015 1:36:20 PMTwitter Web Client
My cocksucking modem keeps rebooting, IP changed and fucking Time Warner won't give it to me. I need to turn off my fucking air conditioner Tuesday, May 26, 2015 1:36:07 PMTwitter Web Client
My internet is out again. Why does it go out 4-5 times a week you unreliables? @TWC_Help @TWC_NYNJ Monday, May 25, 2015 11:57:07 AMTwitter for Android
I am listening to Mike McCready's guitar solo in Alive on loop like a million times you guys Friday, May 08, 2015 12:17:56 PMTwitter Web Client
This is going to be as bad a that time I kept talking about poinsettias Wednesday, May 06, 2015 12:49:27 PMTwitter for Android
Ain't got no time for people's bullshit here. Staying happy son! Monday, May 04, 2015 3:14:44 PMTwitter Web Client
🎵Yours is the cloth mine is the hand that sews time🎵 Friday, May 01, 2015 7:10:08 PMTwitter for Android
LULZ. Just renegotiated my contract with Time Warner for another year and got a promo for awful svc. Day one? Outage. Bahahahahahhahahah Wednesday, April 01, 2015 10:42:42 AMTwitter Web Client
Asks me if I know what I'm talking about. Go fuck your mother. Last time I try to help. Tuesday, March 17, 2015 4:48:12 PMTwitter Web Client
@TWC_Help rebooted the modem many times. If it's a signal issue, need a tech to check the lines. Will schedule next week
In reply to @TWC_Help's tweet
Friday, February 27, 2015 10:10:10 PMTwitter for Android
IT guy just told me to go fuck myself when I called out that we spent 40k on a video conferencing solution they used 5 times in 2 years. Friday, February 27, 2015 3:56:47 PMTwitter Web Client
Haven't had acid reflux in forever but 100% of the time I have breakfast at Pret, my stomach goes on fire. What gives? Friday, February 20, 2015 11:13:51 AMTwitter Web Client
I've got better shit to tweet about other than how my piece of shit third world time Warner goes out daily Friday, February 20, 2015 1:11:01 AMTwitter for Android
I can't believe how cocksucking unreliable Time Warner @TWC is you fuck ups. How does an ISP have an outage daily Friday, February 20, 2015 1:06:25 AMTwitter for Android
Need @VerizonFiOS because Time Warner goes out ever fucking day Friday, February 20, 2015 1:05:43 AMTwitter for Android
Time Warner can fuckin blow me. A goat carrying a CD one mile in Iran is more reliable than this cuntish ISP Friday, February 20, 2015 1:03:15 AMTwitter for Android
@scoopandslam I felt slight hope with Cooley in our time. They should've won the MAAC in '11 or '12 but now woof
In reply to @scoopandslam's tweet
Friday, February 20, 2015 12:10:46 AMTwitter for Android
That time when biddies be saying my shit isn't deploying and they're so full of shit because it totally is deploying properly so blow me. Wednesday, February 18, 2015 1:30:33 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm in utter shock that my Time Warner is still up. Surely this wind should have causes an outage by now Sunday, February 15, 2015 9:29:39 AMTwitter for Android
Explain to me why I should pay you this month when your shit is down all the time. @TWC_NYNJ Saturday, February 14, 2015 3:03:41 AMTwitter for Android
My fucking time warner is out again. Cuntish piece of shit internet service unreliable as fuck @TWC_NYNJ die Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:39:38 AMTwitter for Android
@TWC_NYNJ get your fucking shit together. Last time it was out you said it wasn't an issue hut then it fixed itself so it was you suck
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:34:09 AMTwitter for Android
Time Warner and their daily outages can severely suck it right now. You suck at life and I'll fuck your mother if I ever meet her. Friday, February 06, 2015 12:06:35 AMTwitter for Android
Fuckin time warner is down again. You guys can http://t.co/F1XMksCyJv Thursday, February 05, 2015 7:39:34 PMTwitter for Android
Murica. Second world county. I say it all the time: http://t.co/ZZERVwPsZu Tuesday, February 03, 2015 4:06:32 PMTwitter Web Client
These dumb Time Warner jokers... You click support chat and they connect you to Texas billing. For fucks sake... http://t.co/LIrJfi2Lmt Tuesday, February 03, 2015 1:32:05 AMTwitter for Android
Every time there's a gentle breeze the fuckin internet goes out. The fuck do you assholes do, tape the wires up? @TWC_NYNJ Tuesday, February 03, 2015 12:13:19 AMTwitter for Android
Missy Elliot straight up taking me back to my Hip Hop/ R&B bus in 7th grade. Times Sunday, February 01, 2015 8:22:40 PMTwitter for Android
Time warner is down. Here's the part where I connect my hotspot to my router and see if the failover works Thursday, January 22, 2015 10:21:48 PMTwitter for Android
Overheard on the 4/5: "Remember that time we got drunk in Astoria and went to Victoria's Secret" Freddy's ready to bang Thursday, January 22, 2015 9:47:30 PMTwitter for Android
Welp, our datacenter is getting DDoS'd. Who wants to come to bikini bar in the meantime? Tuesday, January 13, 2015 4:03:00 PMTwitter Web Client
Yep... It kinda takes a REALLY long time to generate checksums for 90GB files... Friday, January 09, 2015 12:58:43 AMTwitter Web Client
bout time Twitter fixed the Android login issues. Monday, December 29, 2014 1:31:38 AMTwitter for Android
Every time I install a WordPress update, it scares me that my Twitter plugin will break b/c I hacked the crap out of it and it's deprecated Tuesday, December 23, 2014 10:24:05 PMTwitter Web Client
I don't think I heard anyone say cunt more times in one day since my 2010 drunk tweets. Saturday, December 20, 2014 7:25:25 PMTwitter for Android
RT @KFCBarstool: 2 NYPD cops working overtime on anti terrorism get shot execution style as "revenge" for Eric Garner. Most fucked up logic… Saturday, December 20, 2014 6:18:47 PMTwitter for Android
Dat feel when your ISP owes you money. Especially when it's Time Warner. http://t.co/YX3gex3uey Friday, December 19, 2014 5:05:22 PMTwitter Web Client
Dat time you have unexpected leftover pizza after drinking doe. 🙌 Wednesday, December 17, 2014 12:21:55 AMTwitter for Android
God DAMN it.. I really need to stop confusing Stephie with other peeps. Like the 9th time I did it. Tuesday, December 16, 2014 9:04:08 PMTwitter for Android
The train is on time today and I look like a suit. What is this world coming to? Tuesday, December 16, 2014 7:39:27 AMTwitter for Android
If Vinny plays Rosanna or Oh Sherrie or any other Vagina song just one more time, I might yack. Sunday, December 14, 2014 6:28:56 PMTwitter for Android
Mal. You can't make meat pasta that tastes like my grandma's. Rude and awesome at the same time. Thursday, December 11, 2014 11:36:25 PMTwitter for Android
"I know the fly honeys at bikini bar are outta this world but i am sure you can see a C section scar another time" - Freddy Thursday, December 11, 2014 4:41:01 PMTwitter Web Client
Ah fuck it. MTA can do this every time, on the grounds that it's free (trying to be positive lol) Monday, December 08, 2014 8:36:40 AMTwitter for Android
Metro North assholes: the few times I take the 8:05, its 10 mins late every single time. The fuck Monday, December 08, 2014 8:06:47 AMTwitter for Android
If our security asshole talks about clickjacking just one more time for a server that shouldn't even be in scope... Click jackoff Wednesday, November 26, 2014 10:34:04 AMTwitter Web Client
Build failed ONE time (because of dev error) and our CGO (Chief Grandpa Officer) scheduled a meeting to discuss "improving the process." Tuesday, November 18, 2014 2:02:26 PMTwitter Web Client
THIS IS EXCELLENT: https://t.co/EGBnrgYpQW Google fucked up big time by merging hangouts with SMS. It blew monkey dick. Night and day Wednesday, November 12, 2014 2:37:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Bynes is 100% on point. It should be against religion to follow uglies on Twitter. #AintGotNoTimeForThat Tuesday, November 11, 2014 10:00:04 AMTwitter for Android
Now that I take Metro North once every other week or so, their on time performance is 0%. Always a problem. #mta #sucks Friday, November 07, 2014 7:48:19 AMTwitter for Android
I've been spending way too much time with git as of late... Thursday, October 23, 2014 12:59:42 AMTwitter Web Client
My grandma was commenting on a 71 year old getting married for the first time: "She's cleaning the cobwebs out" Sunday, October 19, 2014 8:57:26 PMTwitter for Android
@dannyrob88 Not one person has ever had a bad time listening to the Ignition (Remix)
In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet
Sunday, October 12, 2014 10:33:28 AMTwitter for Android
Additionally, I might actually get hammered by accident before my server maintenance. Fuck it. Last time I drunk rolled out it was perfect Sunday, October 05, 2014 3:32:41 PMTwitter for Android
I think Brian's run is over and it's time for a change "First things first: Find a general manager" http://t.co/xJaRAf87gj Tuesday, September 30, 2014 9:57:00 AMfeedly cloud
But this is how loud Yankee Stadium was in the late 90s most times Thursday, September 25, 2014 10:04:14 PMTwitter for Android
I'm so allergic to fucking cats that when the dude next to me walked in, I sneezed 5 times Tuesday, September 23, 2014 10:13:53 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm having a very difficult time not drumming on the table with my chopsticks Friday, September 19, 2014 11:13:23 PMTwitter for Android
The most hysterical Beyoncé vs Britney debate is happening between @Luigitime and @MichaelShatin and @MalJNew is missing it all. Saturday, September 13, 2014 1:39:19 AMTwitter for Android
Had like five margs. This is what I felt like when I had 3 keystones my freshman year at 130 lbs #times Thursday, September 11, 2014 8:09:19 PMTwitter for Android
@KFCBarstool Clancy. I can't change my channel and this is bullshit. Switching back to Time Warner. J/k #fios http://t.co/V9B1kUcnI7 Sunday, August 31, 2014 1:34:15 AMTwitter for Android
Dem times when your coworkers post horrifying plump child tbts from the early 80s #gross Friday, August 29, 2014 12:08:21 AMTwitter for Android
"I was losin' 10 grand one time... But I got it back..." Hhhhh Saturday, August 16, 2014 10:28:52 AMTwitter for Android
Guy next to me was blasting dubstep all day in his headphones. The one time I accidentally let some air out, he's not listening #fail Friday, August 15, 2014 5:01:11 PMTwitter Web Client
Shit. Just watched a Stephen Hawking documentary and now I 100% understand the concept of traveling forward in time Wednesday, August 13, 2014 10:26:53 PMTwitter for Android
@dannyrob88 What the fuck is #etvbtt and why do you tweet it 95 times a day?
In reply to @'s tweet
Wednesday, August 13, 2014 2:49:24 PMTwitter Web Client
It's 4am. Bedtime sounds about right for my 7:30 maintenance + full workday 😥 Wednesday, August 13, 2014 4:03:01 AMTwitter for Android
Not listening to anything these morons say in this meeting because it's just a fight about branching and environments... every time. Monday, August 11, 2014 3:18:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Everyone please unfollow @BuzzFeed on the grounds that I keep getting obnoxuous timeline ads that my followers follow it. #Whocares Sunday, August 10, 2014 9:35:04 PMTwitter for Android
How many times do I have to tell these guys to stop taking shots and cheers-ing my penis Saturday, July 26, 2014 9:22:31 PMTwitter for Android
The fuck does this guy want at 5:40 on a summer Friday... Can't you see this is dedicated Reddit time? Friday, July 25, 2014 5:38:49 PMTwitter Web Client
Time Warner speeds dropped. They say I have signal loss. The fuck. They rewired my shit 3 months ago. Fuckers Tuesday, July 22, 2014 8:33:29 AMTwitter Web Client
Our database manager thought a gateway timeout was a SQL error, googled it, got a Garmin forum link & said Garmin was why our reports broke Tuesday, July 08, 2014 10:25:16 PMTwitter for Android
Holy shit. Look at the moon. Mars is like a centimeter above it. Saturday, July 05, 2014 9:37:10 PMTwitter for Android
Pippa Middleton: You used to be a smoke. Do something about those bags under your eyes before going on TV for the first time. Monday, June 30, 2014 7:43:32 AMTwitter for Android
Kelly: "Mal, I think this song came on the last time I was in bed with you." 😎 Friday, June 27, 2014 11:48:27 PMTwitter for Android
RT @KFCradio: Google knows about #MAILTIME http://t.co/afVsiGUa7I Monday, June 23, 2014 11:51:47 PMTwitter for Android
RT @BarstoolJJ: This is what #OldTimersDay needs from @PaulONeillYES http://t.co/1BwrWmOAp6 Sunday, June 22, 2014 4:05:54 PMTwitter for Android
It's boomstick time Saturday, June 21, 2014 4:17:10 PMTwitter for Android
Made the Jimmy Two Times reference tonight #Goodfellas #getthepapersgetthepapers Thursday, June 19, 2014 10:27:34 PMTwitter for Android
Cross training an engineer on the rollouts. His response: "Dude, this is infuriating. No wonder you're mad all the time" #iquitsoon Tuesday, June 03, 2014 4:31:02 PMTwitter Web Client
Verizon XLTE. Now faster upload speeds than Time Warner's turbo package that's $60/month http://t.co/ZbI0L9iuJG Thursday, May 29, 2014 12:33:17 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking Time Warner. I logged in on your ISP assholes, you can't even detect me? http://t.co/wwb38JCGwu Saturday, May 24, 2014 2:41:29 PMTwitter Web Client
That time when you're shitface and your mom tells you to call Sunday, May 18, 2014 4:17:22 PMTwitter for Android
Every time my phone goes off, I expect @__JLu to be favoriting one of my tweets, but it is an alert about how our reporting is down #die Friday, May 16, 2014 11:57:58 PMTwitter for Android
If this train was on time and not 8 minutes late, I wouldn't have gotten caught in the rain. #MTA #die Friday, May 16, 2014 6:43:49 PMTwitter for Android
This is the jokeshop who manages our DBAs, yet refuses to make decisions... It's time to move on... http://t.co/czl6iBzm4Z Friday, May 16, 2014 5:01:52 PMTwitter Web Client
On the phone with Time Warner Cable. Blood pressure is slowly increasing Thursday, May 15, 2014 8:13:42 PMTwitter Web Client
.@MrMet @Wally97 fuck you hos. Mets and sox are my all time hated teams.
In reply to @MrMet's tweet
Sunday, May 04, 2014 4:23:46 PMTwitter for Android
Pistol grip pump in my lap at all times Friday, April 25, 2014 10:08:25 PMTwitter for Android
IT is now pushing corporate policies to change my chrome homepage, and it's corrupting my profile daily. Time to move along. Friday, April 25, 2014 9:37:09 AMTwitter Web Client
Beyond #mailtime at work today. Aka went to NY Tech Day for hours to talk to other companies. Thursday, April 24, 2014 4:11:32 PMTwitter for Android
How the fuck am I supposed to understand what he's saying all the time. He's like an Asian cave man. Grunting and speaking 2 word sentences. Monday, April 21, 2014 5:32:39 PMTwitter for Android
The entire subway system is useless. I've gotten screwed 3 times this am Wednesday, April 16, 2014 9:27:15 AMTwitter for Android
It's okay. The last time the Yankees opened 0-2 was in 2009. The last time before that was 1998. What happened then? Thursday, April 03, 2014 12:23:16 AMTwitter for Android
Only take Metro North a couple of times per week, which means that the trains are now late 100% of the time I take them #MTA Wednesday, April 02, 2014 8:04:24 AMTwitter for Android
@ky9 "I want to spend some time today to tell you a little bit about Jogues, an extraordinary man!"
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Tuesday, April 01, 2014 5:37:00 PMTwitter for Android
I think I almost punched a guy in the face the last time I drank with Russians. And I don't fight. Thursday, March 20, 2014 6:58:04 PMTwitter Web Client
Last time I was at the Russian place, I don't remember being at the Russian place and Uncle Vanya charged us a $200 cleanup fee Thursday, March 20, 2014 6:57:12 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm in Chicago during the wrong time period. I wanna hang with Johnny Torrio and Al Capone Friday, March 14, 2014 10:30:33 PMTwitter for Android
RT @BarstoolJJ: Thank god for Thowback Thursday or i would have forgotten how much I hated you the first time you posted that picture. Thursday, March 13, 2014 8:19:44 PMTwitter for Android
Welp, this release is about as legitimate as Time Warner Cable Monday, March 03, 2014 2:06:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Verizon 4G. Now faster than Time Warner http://t.co/dNy2egHIz1 Monday, March 03, 2014 1:41:43 AMTwitter Web Client
Finally off the phone withe these cunt motherfuckers Time Warner Saturday, March 01, 2014 8:47:43 PMTwitter for Android
WOW. Time Warner's automated system can't even recognize the fucking zip code. Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:47:18 PMTwitter for Android
Apparently, if you cancel Time Warner's shit service, they don't actually do it. Incompetent fucks. Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:41:16 PMTwitter for Android
Even when Time Warner was installed that shit, it never worked. Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:38:23 PMTwitter for Android
Time Warner is the worse fucking piece of shit company possible Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:35:57 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking Time Warner cocksuckers. We legit called to schedule an installation and we get an email that they canceled the installation. Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:35:39 PMTwitter for Android
Average page load time increased from 2-4 seconds for 2 minutes. We are classifying this as an outage. FUCKING IDIOTS Thursday, February 27, 2014 11:20:16 AMTwitter Web Client
This cocksucker needs to stop asking me if I finished my scripts yet. Asking me 10 times per minute doesn't make me work faster. Friday, February 21, 2014 12:20:01 PMTwitter Web Client
Any time I right click a Chrome tab and duplicate it, I think of Joe Stein. You'd think this is a dumb feature, but it's mad useful. Thursday, February 20, 2014 5:23:12 PMTwitter for Windows
Just watched the Ride Along trailer. Blackest movie of all time. It'll be on the CW in a couple years Tuesday, February 18, 2014 11:46:09 AMTwitter for Android
I feel like a good time right now Saturday, February 15, 2014 7:52:35 PMTwitter for Android
Train showed up on time today. Is this real life? Monday, February 10, 2014 8:06:58 AMTwitter for Android
Yep. Trains are late again. They're late 100% of the time I take them Thursday, February 06, 2014 8:04:25 AMTwitter for Android
CC: @Onethirdof3x5 @Fantasy_Mania RT @BarstoolJJ Literally not one person has ever had a bad time listening to the Ignition (Remix)
In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet
Wednesday, February 05, 2014 4:54:12 PMTwitter Web Client
I have a VP who sends emails in Comic Sans. It is time to move on. Tuesday, February 04, 2014 5:06:39 PMTwitter Web Client
Gabe legit has a bar on his desk. Like 10 bottles. I call it the Gabe Bar, but he gets pissed off. Say "Gabe Bar" 5 times fast....... Friday, January 31, 2014 1:54:21 PMTwitter Web Client
"Children can't be our future because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore so BLOW ME" Friday, January 31, 2014 1:33:53 AMTwitter for Windows
cocksucking time warner can't even handle a god damn voice chat without dropping Thursday, January 30, 2014 10:00:28 PMTwitter Web Client

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