Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit



954 results for TIME


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Tweet Date Source
@__JLu for sure not. A washed up suit reads a list three times per week. Means nothing to me.
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Monday, January 27, 2014 10:48:07 AMTwitter for Android
One time I pooped my pants. Man it was so cool. Thursday, January 23, 2014 12:49:37 AMTwitter for Android
Time Warner sucks absolute dick. Worst. ISP. Ever. Thursday, January 23, 2014 12:32:26 AMTwitter for Android
Colin, stop talking to me about actual work. I'm trying to use company time to work on a side project. Tuesday, January 21, 2014 2:25:18 PMTwitter Web Client
Took two shits in time of peace and two in time of war. I took two shits before I took two shits, and then I took two more Friday, January 03, 2014 9:10:08 PMTwitter for Android
Its time for apple pies! Saturday, December 28, 2013 6:10:21 PMTwitter for Android
"When I was trippin' one time, I was drivin'" Friday, December 27, 2013 11:43:15 PMTwitter for Android
The fam basically pulled #MailTime on Christmas dinner. Just didn't give a fuck Friday, December 27, 2013 12:49:12 AMTwitter for Android
There are two goofballs who have not stepped away from our XBox all morning #MailTime Monday, December 23, 2013 11:46:09 AMTwitter Web Client
Just added an "All tweets from this day" button on my random tweet generator page: Sometimes, you need more context: http://t.co/fCUJcpfuRg Friday, December 20, 2013 1:28:17 AMTwitter Web Client
Literally played Traffic Racer on the shitter for 20 minutes. #mailtime CC: @SonicBlur23 Monday, December 16, 2013 2:48:52 PMTwitter Web Client
So I heard the USB 3.1 spec is supposed to have reversible connectors. #copyingapple About time. USB cables have 3 sides- 2 that don't work Sunday, December 08, 2013 9:41:37 PMTwitter for Android
How many fucking times do I need to tell these people I know it all. Just argued with my boss about something for 5 minutes and I was right Wednesday, November 06, 2013 4:58:08 PMTwitter Web Client
@KFCBarstool one time I accidentally stole Drinkwater's seat and I was scared for my life
In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet
Saturday, October 26, 2013 8:51:47 PMTwitter for Android
This one time, I picked my fingernail and put it in my belly button. Found it three days later #barstoolconfessions Wednesday, October 16, 2013 7:54:11 PMTwitter Web Client
The front end dev who rips ass all the time is now talking about drinking breast milk. #THEFUCK Friday, October 11, 2013 10:10:11 AMTwitter Web Client
If this fucking application crashes, just one more time, I'm going to kill a kitten Thursday, October 03, 2013 4:17:19 PMTwitter Web Client
THAT TIME THE SERVERS ARE SO FUCKED UP YOUR PHONE IS GETTING TEXTED ONCE EVERY 10 SECONDS. I SHUT IT OFF Thursday, October 03, 2013 12:57:50 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm legit tallying the number of times Steve Lo comes to my desk. We're at 7 times for the day so far. Monday, September 30, 2013 4:11:28 PMTwitter Web Client
Happy fall! Best time of the year!๐Ÿ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿ‚๐ŸŒฟ Sunday, September 22, 2013 10:48:13 PMTwitter for Android
First time touching Drupal modules and permissions since 2010... SUCKS. "ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" -Chris Huntley @__JLu @GadsdenMarc Thursday, September 19, 2013 4:58:37 PMTwitter Web Client
Larry's a good time. A riot Wednesday, September 18, 2013 11:02:28 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu Sometimes I write notes to myself as tweets and search them later using my twitter app.
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Monday, September 16, 2013 4:19:36 PMTwitter Web Client
DBAs just added an email trigger every time there's a deadlock on production. I'm getting fucking spammed. Piece of shit system... Monday, September 09, 2013 9:11:45 AMTwitter Web Client
This Azarenka chick playing Serena at the U.S Open sounds like she's fucking every time she his the ball. Probably a savage in bed Sunday, September 08, 2013 5:02:44 PMTwitter for Android
Unlike #booker, my web app has 3 9s of reliability, and that's without any failover or redundancy. Booker? 97% uptime http://t.co/cpMsBI18tL Saturday, September 07, 2013 12:14:45 AMTwitter for Android
Time Waner is the absolute worst. Can't even go one night without the brand new modem needing to be reset Friday, September 06, 2013 8:16:07 AMTwitter for Android
I don't think its remotely possible to get dealt a worse off hand in candy crush. Didn't clear one jelly the whole time Monday, September 02, 2013 1:18:34 PMTwitter for Android
Time Warner Cable chokes on the tiniest cock possible. A fuckin cup and string can provide better internet service Friday, August 30, 2013 11:15:35 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm very offended that I did the best photobomb of all time and Freddy didn't even take a group pic. He took ryannes fits instead Thursday, August 29, 2013 9:59:09 PMtxt
"Take a look @ the train driver next time he pulls into the station. Dude always looks like heโ€™s one delay away from licking the third rail" Monday, August 12, 2013 4:26:15 PMTwitter Web Client
Valid question/annoyance. How come 9 times out of 10, 3/3 shitters are in use in this fucking office? Monday, August 05, 2013 4:59:11 PMTwitter Web Client
My fucking scheduled job didn't run last night. This would be the 12th time something fucked up I'm responsible for #fired #failure #useless Wednesday, July 31, 2013 8:33:29 AMTwitter for Android
@__JLu Also, starting in 4.3, they added TRIM, so devices won't get slow as hell over time: http://t.co/MKJ6iikmo0
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, July 30, 2013 10:06:16 AMTwitter Web Client
That time the release engineer has no fucking idea when the releases are #Booker #Thisfuckingplace Friday, July 26, 2013 1:09:52 PMTwitter Web Client
โ€œDude remember that time you fucked like 40 strippers and your wife still said you were an amazing husband? You motherfucker.โ€ @KFCBarstool Wednesday, July 17, 2013 3:11:22 PMBuffer
RT @KFCBarstool: 1 yr later and my @TWCable_NYC internet still fucking sucks. Thanks for nothing Time Warner. Hope all the bad things happeโ€ฆ Wednesday, June 26, 2013 9:03:56 PMTwitter Web Client
Someone give our intern an ambien. Stop coming over here 75 times and being hyper on a Monday morning. Jesus Monday, June 24, 2013 9:50:17 AMTwitter Web Client
Protip: don't let Lennon and Antonia bite both ur nips at the same time. But its hot Wednesday, June 19, 2013 10:16:21 PMTwitter for Android
"On This Day in 1995, Ten is certified 9 times Platinum." just gave me chills Thursday, June 06, 2013 12:04:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Section 203. First time I'm chilling with @baldvinny and the rest of the Bleacher Creatures since 2008 in section 39 in the old house. Monday, June 03, 2013 7:07:25 PMTwitter for Android
OH MY GOD. VINE IS NOW ON ANDROID. WHY ISN'T IT IN THE PLAY STORE YET? I have sexytime animations to create Monday, June 03, 2013 9:58:24 AMTwitter Web Client
Yo train dude. Pull this rig the fuck out. Ain't got no time to be stopped at Fordham for like 10 mins Sunday, June 02, 2013 3:18:14 PMTwitter for Android
You do realize that I basically jizz my pants every time Pearl Jam's Black comes on at the bar, right? Thursday, May 23, 2013 9:08:26 PMTwitter for Android
This 55" display they got me for "system status" is going to be my dedicated office trolling, Netflix, HBO GO and Showtime Anytime TV. Duh Tuesday, May 14, 2013 12:46:07 PMTwitter Web Client
@kerbear88 enjoyyyyyyyyy. Not gonna make it over. Cya next time
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Saturday, May 11, 2013 10:36:31 PMTwitter for Android
"Its been a long time since I've seen an Asian bouncer" -Joel Saturday, May 11, 2013 4:56:02 PMTwitter for Android
@MarkAbsher @MalJNew good times! Cray times!
In reply to @MarkAbsher's tweet
Saturday, May 11, 2013 11:11:15 AMTwitter for Android
I mean... I don't think that request was out of line. This was the third time she turned off pearl jam. Wednesday, May 08, 2013 9:44:54 PMTwitter for Android
Yes, you can put my report in your folder anytime you want. Monday, May 06, 2013 11:56:56 AMTwitter Web Client
Realllll pumped that Tom Petty came on at the bar, you guys. You think I have time for another beer before I go back to work? Friday, April 19, 2013 2:07:57 PMTwitter for Android
Remember that time I was talking shit about Niraj and Eric to Sam and I had my screen shared with all three of them? Whoopise Monday, April 08, 2013 10:45:08 AMTwitter Web Client
For the first time in 2013, Yankees win, Mets lose. Back to normal (Even though the Yankees might as well be cunceled this season) Thursday, April 04, 2013 9:47:01 PMTwitter Web Client
@kerbear88 Reminds me of the last time I was on the 4 in the bx, when I tweeted this: https://t.co/Uz8mzNwaSp
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Thursday, April 04, 2013 9:37:41 PMTwitter Web Client
Welp, passed out at 9:30 for the first time since like 3rd grade.... Wednesday, March 27, 2013 4:20:08 AMTwitter for Android
@ky9 Fucking people... I sometimes have the urge to shake a bitch.
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 3:08:25 PMTwitter Web Client
I fucking had enough of my phone. Maybe it should pick up some internet some time Tuesday, March 19, 2013 6:58:03 PMTwitter for Android
this plow driver is on crack. Dude plowed my street like 8 times. Come on. There's like 2 inches of snow, brah Tuesday, March 19, 2013 12:24:22 AMTwitter Web Client
Twilight time to dream a while... Friday, March 15, 2013 10:35:59 AMTwitter Web Client
Fixed all of the bad dates and times over on http://t.co/J5RGCCm6QN! Thursday, March 14, 2013 1:58:06 PMTwitter for Android
OMG it actually works!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now, the times will import correctly. Woooooo. Also, I'll be a zombie today at work. Tuesday, March 12, 2013 4:28:53 AMTwitter Web Client
import this tweet with the correct time, fuckers Tuesday, March 12, 2013 3:53:44 AMTwitter Web Client
According to the stack trace, i only screwed up the time zone. then it should work Tuesday, March 12, 2013 3:53:24 AMTwitter Web Client
MTA ALERTS: I don't give a flying fuck that the escalators in Grand Central North are out of service, cunt muscle. Stop emailing me 46 times Monday, March 11, 2013 4:05:52 PMTwitter Web Client
Millionth time watching this. http://t.co/qgfyy5LQ3f #GetGlue #Casino Saturday, March 09, 2013 9:53:48 PMGetGlue.com
HERP DERP: "Any downtime on production is bad" -Jeans. Ya think? Tuesday, March 05, 2013 11:45:32 AMTwitter for Android
For fucks sake. The second time in two weeks our entire fucking app crashed while I was at lunch. Monday, March 04, 2013 3:51:57 PMTwitter Web Client
That time you go to the bar and every fucking person leaves you. I look so cool here alone. #eatadick Saturday, March 02, 2013 2:32:06 AMTwitter for Android
For the first time ever, someone else is leaking ass at this bar. Not that i do that in public. Might puke. Saturday, March 02, 2013 1:01:35 AMTwitter for Android
Yo Scott. Sorry I falsely accused you of dropping acid last time we were at Dakota Friday, March 01, 2013 9:49:56 PMTwitter for Android
That time you need to admit to the CTO that 3/4 servers were out of the load balancing pool and the remaining one was at 100% CPU :/ Wednesday, February 27, 2013 4:55:13 PMTwitter Web Client
"Gio. I can't tell you how many times I got laid at a gay bar." -Mal Thursday, February 14, 2013 12:14:05 AMTwitter for Android
Now I know why I don't use it much on the train. Thing gives me anxiety. Can't even send a few tweets. lost it 3 times trying to send this Wednesday, February 13, 2013 8:17:14 AMTwitter for Android
It's about time for this rich old lawyer dude to get a new bag. Probably had it since 1953 & it looks like its been through a meat grinder Wednesday, February 13, 2013 8:10:08 AMTwitter for Android
Gio: "I did Windows Update for the first time since like, 1987" Monday, February 11, 2013 3:46:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Shoveling complete. Time to play, preferably with @MalJNew and maybe @MichaelShatin if he's lucky Saturday, February 09, 2013 2:14:23 PMTwitter for Android
'bout fuckin time we're about to get some snow up in this bitch Thursday, February 07, 2013 5:10:37 PMTwitter Web Client
Deat MTA alerts. I could give a fuck that your traintime app is down. Stop emailing me every 5 minutes and actually fix it. Wastes Tuesday, February 05, 2013 9:51:56 AMTwitter Web Client
Get drunk and put on Banana Phone at the barrrrr. Many times. Duh Saturday, January 26, 2013 5:54:53 PMTwitter for Android
RT @UberFacts: The average person farts 14 times a day. Thursday, January 24, 2013 7:24:19 PMTwitter for Android
@kerbear88 I KNOW! They should run A/C all the time. Heat is the worst. It's not like we're not all wearing winter coats. Jeez
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Wednesday, January 16, 2013 9:12:36 AMTwitter Web Client
RT @NJGovChristie: Having a great time in Florida! Hey, did NJ get some flurries or something? No time to find out details; going on Mad ... Tuesday, January 15, 2013 12:30:59 AMTwitter Web Client
RT @NJGovChristie: Having a great time in Florida! Hey, did NJ get some flurries or something? No time to find out details; going on Mad ... Monday, January 14, 2013 11:46:03 PMTwitter for Android
Based on @Colithika and @waspito's tweets last night, they had an awesome time in L.A (in the a) Sunday, January 13, 2013 10:41:37 AMTwitter for Android
Who's this motherfucker with this loud assed car driving up and down my block a million and one times? Bro. get a muffler. Thursday, January 10, 2013 12:37:09 AMTwitter Web Client
I think its almost time for the first poop of 2013 Tuesday, January 01, 2013 1:00:10 AMTwitter for Android
๐ŸŽถ๐ŸŽถ"Harmlessly passing your time in the grassland awayyyyyyyyy" ๐ŸŽต๐ŸŽต Thursday, December 27, 2012 8:59:35 PMTwitter for Android
About time these POlice write mother fuckin tickets for these homeless wastes Tuesday, December 18, 2012 9:17:19 PMTwitter for Android
Our recruiters here suck ass. Sent me a guy to interview and I googled his name and his Google+ says "I suck at time management" FUCK OFF Thursday, December 13, 2012 1:50:43 PMTwitter Web Client
Good, because half the time I'm all fucked up in shit, idiots. Saturday, December 08, 2012 2:01:51 AMTwitter for Android
Son of a bitch these players hate me. Time to move out Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:38:02 AMTwitter for Android
Like. I'm never back in this ducking place and one time I do I'm a drunk mother fucker Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:32:43 AMTwitter for Android
The one fucking time I decide to come back to fucking bitch ass Westchester, I sleep past my stop Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:30:34 AMTwitter for Android
My shoelaces can suck it. Constantly untie 500 timesALL DAY long and when I need to untie them, they're in impossible knots. #bullshit Monday, December 03, 2012 12:53:38 PMTwitter Web Client
Yo. Remember the last time we walked to mickeys and I puked in the snow and then ate it to wash my mouth and then drank more? Wednesday, November 21, 2012 10:29:11 PMTwitter for Android
Two bitches and a horse or else it isn't even worth my time. Sunday, November 18, 2012 4:06:58 AMTwitter for Android
DLK witnessed a temper tantrum of me screaming fuck multiple times & slamming my computer around because it kept freezing. He was concerned Thursday, November 15, 2012 10:41:25 AMTwitter Web Client
I just unlocked the "Fixer Upper" badge on @foursquare for checking in at hardware stores! Tool Time! http://4sq.com/TLsB9G Wednesday, November 07, 2012 3:29:11 PMfoursquare
Whats the worst thing to say to a girl out of these three: "when's it due?" "it's that time of the month" or "stop being a cunt" Tuesday, November 06, 2012 2:32:21 PMTwitter Web Client
I just unlocked the "Ten Hundred" badge on @foursquare for checking in over 1000 times! http://4sq.com/YR9wDZ Tuesday, November 06, 2012 9:06:19 AMfoursquare
fuckin legitimate. fixed a bug in my twitter app and now the times aren't like 4 hours off. Enfuckinjoyyyyyy http://t.co/QJWJvSF Tuesday, November 06, 2012 2:55:34 AMTwitter Web Client
OK how many fucking times do you have to count people in this plane. Ya dumb? Sunday, November 04, 2012 4:54:05 PMTwitter for Android
I just unlocked the โ€œMall Ratโ€ badge on @foursquare for checking in at malls! Time for a fancy pretzel. http://4sq.com/QdJA5h Saturday, November 03, 2012 2:06:01 PMfoursquare
new version of twitter tools sucks balls. Will not use (it's for my tweets app). I do like how they fixed the datetime issue though Friday, October 26, 2012 1:36:16 PMTwitter Web Client
Really wish it was tomorrow at this time, minus a few hours, you guys Wednesday, October 24, 2012 1:02:41 AMTwitter Web Client
"There was no downtime during this morning's rollout. That's how I roll" Monday, October 22, 2012 3:36:10 PMTwitter Web Client
Alexey: "Well there won't be any downtime, only some issues where it won't be available for a minute or so" #engineerdefinitionofdowntime Monday, October 22, 2012 2:50:10 PMTwitter Web Client
I just unlocked the Back to School badge on @foursquare for checking in back on campus! Time to party! Er, study. http://4sq.com/TGQYl6 Saturday, October 20, 2012 5:44:11 PMfoursquare
THE BUILD WORKED. About fuckin time Wednesday, October 17, 2012 6:00:04 PMTwitter Web Client
If any build breaks just one more time, I will lose my shit Wednesday, October 17, 2012 5:43:51 PMTwitter Web Client
I LOVE Halloween time and fall!! Thursday, October 11, 2012 10:12:24 AMTwitter Web Client
"We have to archive those logs. You know how many times we almost ran out of dick... DISK space" Tuesday, October 09, 2012 2:37:55 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuck all of the Bronx metro north stops in the ass with a tire iron. Waste of time. Use the fuckin subways instead. Monday, October 08, 2012 9:59:51 PMTwitter for Android
Tremont and Melrose are the biggest horse shit local time wasting stops ever. Sunday, October 07, 2012 10:42:11 AMTwitter for Android
Not sure how I feel about Apple's lightning cable. Fuck them for making it nonstandard. At the same time, it's reversible?!?! That's amazing Friday, September 21, 2012 12:30:22 AMTwitter Web Client
Nap time. Saturday, September 15, 2012 5:21:18 PMTwitter Web Client
Almost time to be struttin that ass to the bar Wednesday, September 12, 2012 5:33:49 PMTwitter Web Client
A beautiful, crisp, 55 degree morning! About time this hot summer's almost over! Monday, September 10, 2012 7:44:23 AMTwitter for Android
@scoopANDslam you fuckers are at dukes? That's my hood. You go there the one time I'm far away. The fuck
In reply to @scoopANDslam's tweet
Friday, September 07, 2012 9:54:58 PMTwitter for Android
Anyone else notice that sometimes when selecting text in Google Chrome, the page starts jumping up and down? Drives me batshit crazy Thursday, September 06, 2012 9:28:01 AMTwitter Web Client
prob the first time I did some php object oriented shit without a syntax error. #twitterbullshit http://t.co/QJWJvSF (needs search feature) Tuesday, September 04, 2012 3:00:04 AMTwitter Web Client
If @VtotheFlo tweets about #FNO one more time, something I couldn't give a fuck about, I'm unfollowing her. Tuesday, August 21, 2012 2:06:38 PMTwitter Web Client
Snippet to echo "yyyy-mm-dd_hh:mm" in the command line: echo %date:~-4,4%-%date:~-10,2%-%date:~-7,2%_%time:~0,2%:%time:~3,2% Friday, August 17, 2012 4:25:24 PMTwitter Web Client
Thank you sore throat for making me miss dev drinks. The programmers are worried about me because I ditched them for drinks the past 4 times Thursday, August 16, 2012 6:16:18 PMTwitter for Android
Delayed for the THIRD time in two days. Fucking MTA Thursday, August 16, 2012 4:59:44 PMTwitter for Android
I really don't understand how @MalJNew still has no idea how to type a penis when I showed her like 9 times already. Monday, August 13, 2012 8:54:58 PMTwitter for Android
Andyes, that's andre. Its $5 and the last time I touched it was 09 when we sprayed it all over the swamp when the yanks won the world series Sunday, August 12, 2012 12:23:11 PMTwitter for Android
12:50AM Time for be.... Wait. I have to do server maintenance. API keys don't change themselves, you guys Friday, August 10, 2012 12:51:01 AMTwitter Web Client
I need to stop kicking black people's shoes on the subway. This is the third time I got yelled at. In Bridgeport, I'd get shot Wednesday, August 08, 2012 1:09:08 PMTwitter Web Client
@kerbear88 my girl cousins fought over the flower all the time when I was a kid and yes, it sucked.
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Tuesday, August 07, 2012 11:09:39 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: About Fuckin Time New York City Has a Rock Station Again http://t.co/tc1HjV6 Sunday, August 05, 2012 4:21:03 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
"So how many times do you think a Volvo dealership was vandalized to say vulva?" This guy's killing me Saturday, August 04, 2012 11:54:29 PMTwitter for Android
If I didn't die in a Haliskoe drunk driving crash in all my time at Fairfield, I guess I'm invincible, you guys. Friday, July 27, 2012 4:59:56 PMTwitter Web Client
Bahaha my boss liked my fb status where I said @LennonImagine could talk (dirty) to my nexus 7 tablet any time she wanted Thursday, July 26, 2012 11:34:58 PMTwitter for Android
Absolutely LOVE it how Christina sends me this video every time it rains outside: http://t.co/UweFwqg Friday, July 20, 2012 10:12:01 AMTwitter Web Client
This is bullshit. We need a keg team here to make sure this shit works at all times. Thursday, July 12, 2012 6:18:28 PMTwitter Web Client
Longboarding downhill for the 1st time. Took pavement at 15mph. Bitches dig injuries. means I'm getting laid tomorrow http://t.co/PnonJC3 Saturday, July 07, 2012 2:54:39 AMTwitter for Android
Watching Taken. So boss. "Now's not the time for dick measuring, Stewart!" Friday, July 06, 2012 11:53:13 PMTwitter for Android
Now you can count how many times I say fuck, shit and other words on twitter: http://t.co/CYg7v2v Thanks Quirk for helping with the SQL Sunday, July 01, 2012 5:13:23 PMTwitter Web Client
PS. My tweets are like 94% better drunk than sober. Drunk = a fun time. Sober = technology Monday, June 25, 2012 11:22:01 PMTwitter for Android
@Waspito @ShavingFoams Yeah but if you aren't lazy, you can manyally copy it and do RT @... People do that to me all the time bc I'm legit
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Monday, June 25, 2012 12:15:46 PMTwitter Web Client
"She's a real fuckin good time, I'll tell ya that" Monday, June 25, 2012 12:57:45 AMTwitter Web Client
Its not even worth my energy to waste time complaining about these trains Tuesday, June 19, 2012 9:05:31 PMTwitter for Android
Grandpa's fly was down. I told him XYZ. He said "that's okay, you have to air it out sometimes" Sunday, June 17, 2012 5:26:49 PMTwitter for Android
Nighttime Atlantic ocean is so peaceful and healing. Not a soul out here Thursday, June 14, 2012 11:26:28 PMTwitter for Android
Love doing SQL queries against my tweets. Out of 5733 I have archived, I said fuck 1243 times in 1076 tweets (including this one) Friday, June 08, 2012 9:52:10 AMTwitter Web Client
specifically, fuck strtotime() Wednesday, May 30, 2012 12:55:57 AMTwitter Web Client
Why is working with date/time in php a mother fucking pain in the ass? Wednesday, May 30, 2012 12:54:04 AMTwitter Web Client
I mean.. I know I love Aladdin and shit and Jasmine is hot... but Lion King is my all time childhood movie. Monday, May 28, 2012 1:44:48 AMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew lol. This is the second time i yelled at you for not answering when I never actually called.
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Friday, May 25, 2012 7:36:34 AMTwitter for Android
This game is a bunch of bullshit. Nap time because I'll be up all night Monday, May 21, 2012 10:04:59 PMTwitter for Android
Just wanted to point out that the chick in the FB timeline photon in Joe's Deluxe Spa is bangin: https://t.co/LxPWkpL Friday, May 18, 2012 4:53:46 PMTwitter Web Client
@VtotheFlo Yeah, the first time I told him about it, he thought I was crazy. Idk
In reply to @VtotheFlo's tweet
Sunday, May 13, 2012 9:43:00 PMTwitter for Android
That time you're obsessed with the bartender and you know she looks innocent but really isnt/a freak but she can't be single bc she's so hot Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:01:31 AMTwitter for Android
That time you have to piss so badly and a dude gets up from a table as you're walking to the bathroom and gets ahead of you... bs Wednesday, May 02, 2012 8:04:49 PMTwitter for Android
Welp, Casino is on Encore at 5PM. I know what I'm doing. One of my all time favs. De Niro, Joe Pesce... Scorsese film. Unreal. Sunday, April 29, 2012 4:30:36 PMTwitter for Android
Domain renewal time. Godaddy sucks. Cluttered, tries to upsell you 87 times Should have transferred to namecheap during the SOPA protests. Sunday, April 29, 2012 2:23:42 AMTwitter Web Client
About time it rained. http://t.co/JAEPETP Sunday, April 22, 2012 12:01:09 PMInstagram
This might actually be animal cruelty, which isn't cool. But hey. .. I mean.. dogs gotta go wild sometimes too, ya know? Thursday, April 19, 2012 8:30:03 PMTwitter for Android
Christina is my favorite lesbian of all time. Id marry her every time in a game of marry fuck kill every day of the week and twice on sunday Friday, April 06, 2012 7:57:03 PMTwitter for Android
Would be nice if Temple Run didn't force close 64 times on the Galaxy Nexus... They delay it and release it buggy. Sux developing on Android Tuesday, March 27, 2012 6:16:06 PMTwitter Web Client
Holy shit! A Panera opened in Manhattan? It's about time! Sunday, March 25, 2012 11:23:40 PMTwitter for Android
Okayyyyyyy. One gay thinks my flawless logic is flawed... time to ask another Saturday, March 24, 2012 4:18:54 PMTwitter for Android
Sometimes you just want to shake a bitch Thursday, March 22, 2012 7:11:47 PMTwitter Web Client
Also @MalJNew just heard the phrase "shit happens when you party naked" for the first time tonight. I remember when I was 17. Friday, March 16, 2012 8:06:18 PMTwitter for Android
Ya know... sometimesssssssssss...... Friday, March 09, 2012 1:45:27 AMTwitter Web Client
Sometimes, you just need a fresh day. Think I found the buggy bug. Sunday, March 04, 2012 12:32:57 PMTwitter Web Client
Holy shit, I just used jquery.load for the first time #noob Wednesday, February 29, 2012 2:21:10 AMTwitter Web Client
Check out my random tweet generator. It will randomly display one of my tweets between now and 2009. #timewaster: http://t.co/QMi490J Wednesday, February 29, 2012 1:40:11 AMTwitter Web Client
I don't have time to interview this motherfucker Tuesday, February 21, 2012 2:27:52 PMTwitter Web Client
Would be nice if the fucking 5 train didn't go fucking 3 mph and stop 8 times between stations making me miss my train. Tuesday, February 14, 2012 6:46:26 PMTwitter for Android
Finally time for bed! Tuesday, January 24, 2012 7:43:19 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuck man. There's not enough TIME in the day... Thursday, January 12, 2012 10:29:11 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: If Someone Posts This Fucking Picture One More Time, I Swear... http://bit.ly/AhEGRT Wednesday, January 11, 2012 8:51:06 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
@VtotheFlo 1) my freshmen mentees wished they could bang me and 2) you're not in college anymore so stop retweeting that shit 80 times :-)
In reply to @VtotheFlo's tweet
Sunday, January 08, 2012 12:10:32 AMTwitter for Android
I'm at Trail Of Time w/ @colithika @waspito http://4sq.com/vFE8Ng Monday, January 02, 2012 5:30:29 PMfoursquare
New blog post: Ah Shit, there goes 100% Uptime http://bit.ly/u3zpBS Monday, January 02, 2012 1:26:02 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
I'm pretty sure my favorite Christmas gift of all time was Pokemon Blue in 5th grade. Shit was REAL Thursday, December 15, 2011 5:10:43 PMTwitter Web Client
@majlnew: "MY PUPPYTIME APP DOESN'T WORK!!!!" #firstworldproblems. Tell Siri to fix it. Tuesday, December 06, 2011 6:42:24 PMTwitter Web Client
fucking nooblet driving this train cant even align himself with the station properly. had to back up like 4 times Monday, December 05, 2011 7:48:53 PMtxt
Welp, that was a waste of time Monday, December 05, 2011 4:13:31 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm at The Samsung Experience (Time Warner Center) (10 Columbus Circle, 3rd Floor, New York) http://4sq.com/vXVBEf Monday, December 05, 2011 3:25:23 PMfoursquare
@Waspito Knowing them, I'll still have a dumbphone by the time we head out there. Which sucks bc I won't be able to Foursquare
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Wednesday, November 30, 2011 6:40:57 PMTwitter Web Client
Twitter: Y u no load more tweets on the timeline? Monday, November 21, 2011 9:01:23 PMTwitter Web Client
About f'in time! http://t.co/xDsieDX Sunday, November 20, 2011 9:49:39 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu Yup. They gave me 30 days. I couldn't find a smartphone in that time, so I lost out. Fuckin Galaxy Nexus should have been out...
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Friday, November 11, 2011 1:33:40 PMTwitter Web Client
just watched an episode of unsolved mysteries. just not the same without robert stack. #yesimwatchinglifetime Wednesday, November 09, 2011 9:01:19 PMtxt
New blog post: If they Fucking Bomb Search Me One More Time... http://bit.ly/vtkGOF Tuesday, November 08, 2011 10:15:55 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
New blog post: Sometimes I Wonder Why I Believe In Half of This Shit, Part 2 http://t.co/DJGCGCD Sunday, November 06, 2011 12:51:37 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
I love gaining an extra hour for no reason. #daylightsavingstimeisoutdatedandonlyappliedtofarmersinthe1800s Sunday, November 06, 2011 1:46:22 AMTwitter Web Client
@MalJNew Shitshow? Get you ass back to work joker. I remember the first time I got hammered at lunch.
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Monday, October 31, 2011 6:47:17 PMTwitter Web Client
I swear to God, if this cunt coughs in my face one more fucking time... Tuesday, October 25, 2011 5:00:04 PMTwitter Web Client
@Novellabella sounds like an awesome time. Enjoy. I will be out drinking instead
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Thursday, October 13, 2011 6:15:09 PMTwitter Web Client
It's always a good sign when the builds they give us pass my Selenium scripts instead of failing like 15 times along the way. Monday, October 03, 2011 6:38:20 PMTwitter Web Client
Sometimes I look at things and I'm like... Enough of this shit. Sunday, October 02, 2011 7:38:20 PMTwitter Web Client
What. Color time is it? Friday, September 23, 2011 10:08:32 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu @michellemm22 You need a PhD in Facebookology for the timeline. I miss the simple days when every feature was on a separate php page
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Friday, September 23, 2011 3:32:04 PMTwitter Web Client
Anytime I want to do something that involves not staying home, its an ordeal. Enough Friday, September 23, 2011 12:27:30 AMTwitter for Android
New blog post: Sometimes I Wonder Why I Believe In Half of This Shit http://bit.ly/opqhye Sunday, September 18, 2011 9:15:39 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
My twitter timeline is messed up. Why isn't everyone I follow showing up? Saturday, September 17, 2011 2:25:46 PMTwitter Web Client
Quite possibly the greatest mob movie of all time. Love it http://t.co/vJTTCee @GetGlue #Casino Saturday, September 03, 2011 3:00:40 AMGetGlue.com
New blog post: USB Plugs do this to me EVERY. SINGLE. TIME... http://bit.ly/nw7Bad Tuesday, August 30, 2011 10:53:20 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
Time to get yelled at for coming home at 3:30 on a work night. Time to move out... Wednesday, August 17, 2011 11:43:35 PMTwitter Web Client
Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Sometimes... you just have to accept you'll never get your way. Wednesday, August 17, 2011 10:23:48 PMTwitter for Android
my jeans smell funny... I mean, they're clean but they were in the closet for a long time. The f man. Thursday, August 11, 2011 10:40:44 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm at Ruby Tuesday (7 Times Sq, at 7th Ave, New York) w/ 3 others http://4sq.com/nKBdUa Friday, August 05, 2011 8:02:22 PMfoursquare
I could be a real dick sometimes =) Monday, July 25, 2011 9:42:07 PMTwitter Web Client
Just discovered turntable.fm By the time I'm done here, our office will have no bandwidth left. IT people will be hating again Thursday, July 21, 2011 5:56:21 PMTwitter Web Client
@Novellabella stop stalking celebrities. They don't care aboit you. Make better use of your time creeper
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Wednesday, July 20, 2011 11:19:00 PMTwitter for Android
Welp, don't need a new phone anymore now that it runs 400 times better. Monday, July 18, 2011 8:44:49 PMTwitter Web Client
About time this tuburculine mother fucker got off this train. Guy was hacking his lung out. If I get sick, i swear...... Thursday, July 14, 2011 10:27:02 PMTwitter for Android
WOW DVDs piss me the fuck off. I dont have time to wait like 2 minutes for a God Damn menu animation... Let me just play the fucking movie. Sunday, July 10, 2011 9:59:15 PMTwitter Web Client
BBQ day 2. This time I'm on the grill instead of Crick. My burgers are 1000x better. My burgers get more pussy than Crick's burgers Monday, July 04, 2011 6:27:55 PMTwitter for Android
I love Old Timer's Day. Greatest ballclub ever. Sunday, June 26, 2011 12:55:25 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: If I Saw This T-Shirt One More Time, I'd Puke All Over Meg http://bit.ly/irFCJZ Monday, June 20, 2011 10:07:53 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
@kerbear88 No language barrier... A memory dump will help debug a problem by showing what was in memory at the time of a crash.
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Monday, June 20, 2011 8:30:19 PMTwitter for Android
Dear Dunkin Donuts, Your coolattas are delicious but my stomach feels like shit every time I have one. <3, Me Monday, June 13, 2011 3:43:25 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm at Irish Times (254 W 31st St, 8th Ave, New York) http://4sq.com/ku3Rx7 Sunday, June 12, 2011 12:05:35 AMfoursquare
This fuckin team might as well have lost in the 9th instead of wasting my time with a cocktease failed comeback Wednesday, May 11, 2011 11:41:57 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: 100% Uptime In April, Bitches http://bit.ly/ltm0lO Tuesday, May 03, 2011 9:48:53 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
Time to go biking again Sunday, May 01, 2011 11:46:58 AMTwitter for Android
New blog post: About Time My Boy Got Me Some Fantasy Points http://bit.ly/mgiz4J Friday, April 29, 2011 12:55:01 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
"Your generation doesn't get enough sleep, you're on the computer all the time and you're all getting bald and fat" - My mom Wednesday, April 27, 2011 12:58:49 AMTwitter Web Client
@Waspito what's all this shit every time I tweet something you always respond with a know it all wiseass critical answer? Saturday, April 23, 2011 1:14:13 AMTwitter Web Client
@tomwcleary its bridgeport, TC... no one in their right mind would waste time bombing Bridgeport. No need...
In reply to @tomwcleary's tweet
Monday, April 18, 2011 5:47:24 PMTwitter for Android
Looking back at my pictures senior year, I'm pretty sure all I did (especially in April and May) was get fucked up all the time Monday, April 18, 2011 2:30:15 AMTwitter Web Client
@dannyrob88 fuck off I know its been out for a while. I don't have time to blog about things instantly :-)
In reply to @Billyjune88's tweet
Thursday, April 14, 2011 12:20:29 PMTwitter for Android
Any time someone new starts, don't put them in the cube diagonally from me. Stop with the questions... I can't get a god damn thing done Wednesday, April 13, 2011 6:39:26 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin jersey, pumping gas for me... guy is changing shifts. I don't have time for this. I'd be out of here already Saturday, April 09, 2011 3:01:28 PMTwitter for Android
@Waspito bro, that update came out like two months ago. Way to be with the times
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Monday, March 28, 2011 7:45:30 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: I Am So Right 100% of the Time http://bit.ly/eGdE3J Friday, March 25, 2011 1:59:11 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
My hot coworker was talking on the phone the entire time I was blowing up the bathroom. I thought she was waiting for the elevator. F'in A. Friday, March 04, 2011 2:50:31 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin idiots in this town, plowing completely cleared streets, ripping them apart, making time and a half because it's a holiday. Monday, February 21, 2011 11:14:34 AMTwitter Web Client
I can watch this 100 times http://bit.ly/hGT2nW (via @GetGlue) #Casino Sunday, February 20, 2011 6:54:59 PMGetGlue.com
Fucking cocksuckers Pittsburgh. With that touchdown, my boss just stole the halftime box I would have won. Fucker owes me drinks all week. Sunday, February 06, 2011 7:59:16 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: Just Another Hour of Downtime, NBD http://bit.ly/ePWUQD Tuesday, January 25, 2011 2:51:03 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
Page 4 of 13 on the release notes... Fun times Monday, January 24, 2011 10:40:33 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Sometimes... http://bit.ly/eeioh9 Monday, January 17, 2011 10:12:59 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
@nyJULZmd gotta use WordPress, silly. Tumblr goes down for days at a time. WordPress is the shizzz
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
Monday, January 10, 2011 9:13:55 PMTwitter Web Client
dual quad core xenons suck dick at importing 32,000 records apparently. Times 20. I'm gonna be up all fucking night Sunday, January 02, 2011 11:42:48 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm at Irish Times (254 W 31st St, 8th Ave, New York) http://4sq.com/fAtG4a Sunday, January 02, 2011 8:39:54 PMfoursquare
The office coffee today was mud. It probably had laxatives and E. Coli in it, because I absolutely destroyed the bathroom numerous times. Thursday, December 23, 2010 3:58:37 PMTwitter Web Client
You can pull that metrocard out of your huge rack in front of me anytime, sweetie. Thursday, December 23, 2010 12:40:00 PMTwitter for Android
This is borderline as bad as the time at Preakness Tuesday, December 07, 2010 2:26:48 PMTwitter for Android
What the hell is with Verizon's spotty ass 3g along the railroad tracks. 90% of the time, I'm on 1x. Fuckin piece of shit Tuesday, November 23, 2010 8:56:56 AMTwitter for Android
I'm at The Irish Times (254 W 31st St, 8th Ave, New York). http://4sq.com/6x1qXH Friday, November 19, 2010 7:48:20 PMfoursquare
Yeah, I probably shouldn't have promised the COO that I'd prepare the release notes for him by tomorrow. Welp, time to start writing those.. Wednesday, November 17, 2010 12:02:09 AMTwitter Web Client
First time on a Q train. Brand new, better than the 4/5/6. Jeez. Thursday, November 11, 2010 2:27:31 PMTwitter for Android
God dammt remind me to have more singles next time I'm at the bar. Big bills blow Friday, November 05, 2010 9:14:46 PMTwitter for Android
Sometimes, I just hate the way shit turns out. Friday, October 29, 2010 12:31:13 AMTwitter Web Client

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