| Tweet | Date | Source |
|---|---|---|
| Twitter's android app redesign is PRETTY. | Wednesday, April 03, 2013 5:21:03 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Happy Cheese Weasel Day! http://t.co/4NlnxIEdbB | Wednesday, April 03, 2013 12:54:54 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I apologize in advance for today's future drunk tweets. | Saturday, March 30, 2013 9:46:52 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. How did IE10 magically appear on my WINDOWS 7 computer? | Friday, March 22, 2013 1:57:06 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fuck this fuckin place. I'm not getting bent out of shape. Everyone is an incompetent bitch? I'll just not do anything today. I won't fight. | Wednesday, March 20, 2013 9:48:27 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| My next project is to revamp the datepicker on my twitter app because the history page is absolute horse shit code. | Tuesday, March 19, 2013 5:46:19 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Compiling some software at work. @ky9 would appreesh: http://t.co/onQbkF7dJ5 | Friday, March 15, 2013 4:28:36 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| we know what happened wont happen again | Friday, March 15, 2013 10:35:33 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Primary HDD failure in my laptop. Fucking son of a bitch. $120 SSD lasted 3 months. No data loss though. My files are redundant as fuck | Friday, March 15, 2013 1:19:10 AM | Twitter for Android |
| So let's say I tweet some shit... I moved servers. Did I fuck up my twitter app? | Tuesday, March 12, 2013 6:01:48 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Boss man said I wasn't allowed to drink/have liquid when doing the RAM swap later on the DB server, but he said anything else was fair game | Friday, March 08, 2013 3:02:38 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| @Lennon @MalJNew Lennon, don't demo the API. That shit crashes every 38 fucking seconds. | Monday, March 04, 2013 11:24:16 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| For fucks sake. The second time in two weeks our entire fucking app crashed while I was at lunch. | Monday, March 04, 2013 3:51:57 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I'm actually in awe at how fucking bad Manhattan is still destroyed by Sandy. I'm by the seaport. Place is fucked. Had no clue | Wednesday, February 27, 2013 9:56:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Purim? Drink until you don't know the difference? Come on. I didn't know the difference between a high five and an ass slap on that barcrawl | Wednesday, February 27, 2013 9:03:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Posting to my twitter from our test server in our booking app, cunts. | Thursday, February 21, 2013 9:37:55 AM | Booker QA |
| New blog post: Twitter App Updated http://t.co/YQbQMzcpsT | Wednesday, February 20, 2013 11:57:29 PM | Portfolioso.com Blog |
| And the tamagotchi in my app just died. The fuck. I kept it happy and fed | Tuesday, February 19, 2013 8:59:10 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Mal": "Oh that's an unfortunate looking child." Me: "Hey what if that was yours?" Mal: "I wouldn't photograph it" The meanest! | Monday, February 18, 2013 4:16:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cool foursquare app: https://t.co/HD4CWyd @__JLu @MalJNew | Thursday, February 14, 2013 1:54:49 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| "This is such a gay bar. There's a reason its called MudFlaps" -Gio | Wednesday, February 13, 2013 9:09:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| These morons removed their branding from the app. That's like the most important thing... | Wednesday, February 13, 2013 1:46:13 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Holy shit... What did foursquare do to their app? It's so different | Wednesday, February 13, 2013 1:28:28 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Xtina: "If they come over here and don't appreciate our language, they can go fuck themselves" | Tuesday, February 12, 2013 3:47:14 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Derick: "Wezz coast rap is ass. Ah like Nas, Moss Def, Slick Rick" | Sunday, February 10, 2013 9:17:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| For fuck's sake. I went to resize a cloud server and took out all of our mobile apps... Fucking RackSpace Cloud | Wednesday, February 06, 2013 1:27:02 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Deat MTA alerts. I could give a fuck that your traintime app is down. Stop emailing me every 5 minutes and actually fix it. Wastes | Tuesday, February 05, 2013 9:51:56 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| How you know I'm a fat fuck: I just snapped a metal wheel in two on my rolling chair because I was leaning in one direction on it. | Tuesday, February 05, 2013 1:48:31 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. Just downloaded my whole tweet archive from twitter. Now to import the ones I missed into my app... | Monday, February 04, 2013 8:09:06 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Now I have to sit here and restart servers like a fucking dickhead until some user stops abusing the API | Wednesday, January 30, 2013 1:22:19 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| PRO. FUCKING. TIP: IF YOUR APP HAS AN API, RATE LIMIT IT YOU CUNTS SO PARTNERS DON'T CRASH THE SYSTEM EVERY 2.5 MINUTES Fuckin amatuer hour | Wednesday, January 30, 2013 1:21:29 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Please stop talking so loudly in Japanese. Please stop. Its too early. | Tuesday, January 22, 2013 8:08:14 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Happy #djbj day to ya, you guys. | Monday, January 21, 2013 6:42:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mover is dapper tonight. | Sunday, January 20, 2013 5:21:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I just unlocked the "NYC Big Apple" badge on @foursquare for checking in to 3 iconic New York City locations! http://4sq.com/VQ3MdL | Friday, January 11, 2013 12:29:15 PM | foursquare |
| "You can bring that toilet paper to the bathroom, but leave a roll here." Me: "What are you gonna wipe your ass in bed?" | Tuesday, January 08, 2013 9:15:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I just reached Level 2 of the "Bento" badge on @foursquare. I’ve checked in at 5 different Japanese Restaurants! http://4sq.com/13eFTPp | Monday, January 07, 2013 7:05:59 PM | foursquare |
| Yo. All my single dudes. Molly is fuckin bangin hot right now. Get it. PS - Happy birthday Molly! | Saturday, January 05, 2013 11:57:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "My Godmother hooked up with the Priest at my Baptism in the apartment I now live in" -Mikey | Sunday, December 30, 2012 2:39:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck offfffffff I'm the happiest son | Friday, December 28, 2012 1:27:55 AM | Twitter for Android |
| And when you lose control. You reap the harvest you have sewn | Thursday, December 27, 2012 9:39:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| When will twitter let me export all of my tweets? Need to import them into my own DB so my app can be complete! It's missing some from 2008 | Monday, December 24, 2012 5:14:43 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| "Apartment: shitshow. Salesforce: clean" -Alisa | Tuesday, December 18, 2012 7:34:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| test tweet (Making sure WordPress 3.5 doesn't break my twitter app) | Sunday, December 16, 2012 11:39:25 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I just told my CEO I save this company 29grand a year and if he doesn't appreciate it he can blow me | Friday, December 14, 2012 11:08:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Motherfuckin CHRISTMAS party... You happy now, @RockNationRadio? Fuckin A, I was trying to be neutral. | Friday, December 14, 2012 5:58:04 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Happy 12/12/12 day! | Wednesday, December 12, 2012 9:41:46 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| 502 bad gateway on Gmail. Almost as bad as our mobile app | Monday, December 10, 2012 11:55:40 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I could go for a grapefruit right now. #saturdaybrunch | Saturday, December 08, 2012 10:45:51 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuckin dentist appointment. Would've stayed in the city. Jesus Fucking Christ | Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:39:04 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Two things: I'm air drumming to AC/DC. And Scott better tap this chicks pussy but he won't | Friday, December 07, 2012 8:30:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Thanks for stating it's December in your GChat status, captain obvious dumbfuck: http://t.co/r5EilrE | Monday, December 03, 2012 1:00:02 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Wonder what would happen if I did a line of Emergen-C | Monday, December 03, 2012 12:00:16 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| What I sent to our product team regarding our mobile app http://t.co/BYdblBf | Wednesday, November 28, 2012 5:31:28 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Our mobile apps are fucking pieces of shit. | Wednesday, November 28, 2012 5:07:39 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| When i bust my gat, motherfuckers take dirt naps. | Tuesday, November 20, 2012 10:28:02 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I'm gonna go watch these tapes | Monday, November 19, 2012 9:49:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This cabbie smells like fuckin onions. Big deal. Happens | Friday, November 16, 2012 9:34:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| These Ukranians do whatever the fuck I say. It's awesome. I could tell them to put a dick in the app and they'd do it. | Thursday, November 15, 2012 2:07:32 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| "Wait. He inherited her last name?!?! What a bitch. I'm gonna tap that ass." | Wednesday, November 14, 2012 3:50:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yes, TK. I appreciate you yelling at me in front of DLK that it's ALL my fault we all stayed too late drinking in the office last Friday. | Monday, November 12, 2012 9:03:31 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Our new corporate logo is goatse central. Looks like a gaping asshole | Saturday, November 10, 2012 4:37:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Vincent. Amanda. Yous two need to fuck. If you don't I'll be disappointed. | Friday, November 09, 2012 10:39:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Margaret Schroder, you dog! Keeps tapping Mr. Slater I see | Thursday, November 08, 2012 11:25:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "You suck at your job, you've got a Napoleonic complex and I'm gonna fuck your mother if I ever meet her" -Billy Walsh | Thursday, November 08, 2012 5:07:10 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Finally fixed my twitter app. Imported the missing tweets and for the word count page, it sorts based on usage (rather than alphabetical) | Thursday, November 08, 2012 2:07:40 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Happy Election Day! May the odds be ever in your favor! | Tuesday, November 06, 2012 7:50:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| fuckin legitimate. fixed a bug in my twitter app and now the times aren't like 4 hours off. Enfuckinjoyyyyyy http://t.co/QJWJvSF | Tuesday, November 06, 2012 2:55:34 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I just ousted @lemiller9109 as the mayor of Gerwigs White Barn on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/apGY0O | Friday, November 02, 2012 6:01:28 PM | foursquare |
| Grape pixie sticks | Wednesday, October 31, 2012 11:55:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @DadBoner: Happy 'Ween, you guys. | Wednesday, October 31, 2012 3:05:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Um... in Apples to Apples, how does Ding Dongs lose for firm.... | Sunday, October 28, 2012 9:35:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| No idea what's on here but probably awesome http://t.co/R0phApO | Saturday, October 27, 2012 11:57:00 AM | |
| Twitter's API can suck it | Friday, October 26, 2012 2:20:03 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| fucking twitter. shut down the old API on 10/11 so that broke my http://t.co/ssCC6i3 app.... just noticed now. | Friday, October 26, 2012 2:08:18 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| new version of twitter tools sucks balls. Will not use (it's for my tweets app). I do like how they fixed the datetime issue though | Friday, October 26, 2012 1:36:16 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Not a bug. Someone tried to use IE7. Our app should detect this and say "You are useless at life. Please off yourself" | Monday, October 22, 2012 9:37:24 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| "you wha you guys opption that if a customer is cancel from a class, should they get a Appointment Cancellation email or a Class email?" | Wednesday, October 17, 2012 5:22:53 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Happy Fridayernes! Motherfucker | Friday, October 12, 2012 9:34:18 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I am intrigued by the fact that I just shit out a completely undigested blueberry I apparently swallowed whole. | Thursday, October 04, 2012 10:48:44 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fuck. Tired. Can I take a nap now? | Thursday, October 04, 2012 4:15:57 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I frequently share stories about BMs with @colithika. #snapple | Tuesday, October 02, 2012 9:57:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Alexey is fucking dapper this fine morning | Monday, October 01, 2012 10:56:42 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| RT @DadBoner: K-Money Club Rule #6 (pt2): If you're a smokin' babe that's gotta crap, management may let you push it out in a supervised ... | Friday, September 28, 2012 8:21:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Is it exactly like SoapUI, but with a better UI? | Friday, September 28, 2012 10:00:20 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I wanted to snap his neck marine style, but didn't want to cause any trouble ;) | Friday, September 28, 2012 9:20:59 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Me to Eric: "let's just take a dump and get it over with" (regarding one of our apps leaking memory). Then I wondered why everyone laughed | Thursday, September 27, 2012 1:15:30 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| It smells like grape | Wednesday, September 26, 2012 2:56:59 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Welp, old laptop from 05 I use as a server... Fan just started sounding like a lawn mower for no reason. Thought it was the HD..Now it's ok. | Wednesday, September 26, 2012 2:50:52 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Baileys, peach schnapps, blue curacao, and grenadine. Weird passed gray looking delicious passed shot. Weirdo | Friday, September 21, 2012 11:33:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Not sure how I feel about Apple's lightning cable. Fuck them for making it nonstandard. At the same time, it's reversible?!?! That's amazing | Friday, September 21, 2012 12:30:22 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Lol Apple sucks: http://t.co/V7wRV9T | Thursday, September 20, 2012 9:12:54 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Xtina: I am going to name my apartment Theory. Because in Theory, everything works! | Wednesday, September 19, 2012 3:13:29 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| RT @DEVOPS_BORAT: What is happen in cloud is stay in cloud because nobody can able reproduce outside of cloud. | Wednesday, September 19, 2012 2:07:13 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Nap time. | Saturday, September 15, 2012 5:21:18 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Barack Obama jokeface is never capable of struttin that ass like I can. Neither is Mitt "dumbshit but fiscally better than obama" Romney | Friday, September 14, 2012 12:31:10 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Welp. Broke a class. Swear to God that never happens. | Wednesday, September 12, 2012 9:48:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Motherfucker. My twitter app is affected by GoDaddy's DNS outage. I knew I should have switched registrars. | Monday, September 10, 2012 3:57:26 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fuck this shit: "Parser Error Message: The 'add' start tag on Ln 161 pos 3 does not match the end tag of 'appSettings'. Ln 318, pos 3." | Monday, September 03, 2012 5:41:44 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| RT @yelling_bird: HAPPY LABOR DAY, SHITLORDS, HAVE FUN BEING A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY IN 20 YEARS THANKS TO YOUR HORRIFIC LEADERS | Monday, September 03, 2012 1:46:31 AM | Twitter Web Client |