My dad on Michael Kay "Christ! Look at the size of his head!"

Tuesday, January 17, 2012 11:07:11 PM from Twitter for Android

Do I write our mobile version release notes, or go to bed? I'll decide in 20!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012 12:06:38 AM from Twitter Web Client

New blog post: Social Media Don't Lie http://t.co/P1MBbrM

Monday, January 16, 2012 09:18:42 PM from Portfolioso.com Blog

BANG BANG BANG. #stopcominguptomydeskifyourethathotifyouwantmetoactuallybeproductive

Monday, January 16, 2012 04:58:39 PM from Twitter Web Client

Thank you MLK Jr. for delaying payday. Asshole.

Monday, January 16, 2012 10:11:21 AM from Twitter Web Client

Also it would be nice if this fucking train conductor opened the doors and didn't make me stand outside for 3 minutes in 13 degree weather

Monday, January 16, 2012 08:52:18 AM from Twitter for Android

I just burped and it tasted like whiskey... Except I didn't have any whiskey. Or did I?

Monday, January 16, 2012 08:50:52 AM from Twitter for Android

@dannyrob88 it was auto correct you dick

In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet

Sunday, January 15, 2012 10:36:54 PM from Twitter for Android

I think my hairline is more receded than Morgan Friedman's

Sunday, January 15, 2012 10:07:31 PM from Twitter for Android

My aunt talking about Madonna: "Anyone who will put it in, she gets it in" "Does the guy on Hung really have a big thing?"

Sunday, January 15, 2012 09:45:13 PM from Twitter for Android

I was supposed to work from home tomorrow, but my VP is a Packers fan so I'm gonna go in just to break his balls. I'm buying him cheese, too

Sunday, January 15, 2012 08:08:54 PM from Twitter for Android

@maljnew Stage 1 certified trainwreck

Sunday, January 15, 2012 01:32:12 PM from Twitter for Android

Omar, I really don't give a fuck about your cats. You can shut up now...

Sunday, January 15, 2012 01:14:31 PM from Twitter for Android

Geminis trending on Twitter. Holler

Sunday, January 15, 2012 04:00:45 AM from Twitter Web Client

Who wants to schnug?

Saturday, January 14, 2012 05:17:10 PM from Twitter for Android