Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

yes. I'm getting a 30 @MalJNew . not a six pack. The fuck have you gone soft?

OK take that back. Not drunk is probably a lie. But like. Not DRUNK sick craY

I'm about to have done this whole power hour and I'm not drunk and not about to puke. In the past week, I learned to drink better. Wonda why

Shit. If I start the power hour now, I'll be hammered

"My Godmother hooked up with the Priest at my Baptism in the apartment I now live in" -Mikey

This is the slowest fuckin deli guy ever.

RT @UberFacts: Pumbaa from "The Lion King" was the first character to fart in a Disney movie.

Omg. I want to sleep on this train and I have a loud fuckin guy babbling on español. Cállate la boca ya fuckin clown

@michellemm22 I think my cousin did, but I'll have to ask. 2nd bday party.

@MalJNew I'm sitting in the corner with the mover and we're both sneaking them out

In reply to @MalJNew's tweet

Vito: "My doctor asked me if I want a Cialis. I said yeah but who's Alice?"

@Lennon just noticed now. Can't help it. My tweets have no filter. Didn't mean it badly

Successful night on Twitter. Reread my tweets tonight and if I were a random stranger, I'd think: "What a cool dude. I'd bang him."

North Korea is best Korea. Just like drunk tweets are best tweets.