Did anyone else fold dollar bills in a way as a kid so it spelled out tits?

Friday, December 21, 2012 11:59:10 PM from Twitter for Android

"I'm buying some new kicks because my kicks is busted"

Friday, December 21, 2012 10:21:38 PM from Twitter for Android

That tequila is like Jesus peed in a cup

Friday, December 21, 2012 09:38:18 PM from Twitter for Android

"If TK had a house party, I'd leave her an upper decker"

Friday, December 21, 2012 09:24:25 PM from Twitter for Android

Gio: "Holy shit. Her ass is too low. How do you fuck that?"

Friday, December 21, 2012 09:19:08 PM from Twitter for Android

gassy as a bastard

Friday, December 21, 2012 01:57:07 PM from Twitter Web Client

I'm sorry, but George W. Bush's daughters are really hot.

Thursday, December 20, 2012 08:57:59 PM from Twitter for Android

Some herb would sort this all out... You know... "Chamomile tea"

Thursday, December 20, 2012 04:32:47 PM from Twitter for Android

Yes. Puking in a bag during the lunch hour rush while sober is a great look for me.

Thursday, December 20, 2012 04:15:17 PM from Twitter for Android

Think I have a little stomach bug. Ripped ass at desk. Fucking vile. I'm going home.

Thursday, December 20, 2012 11:14:12 AM from Twitter Web Client

New blog post: I Hope Joseph Lhota and All MTA Board Members Die of Hepatits http://t.co/MSSzXUu

Wednesday, December 19, 2012 11:26:22 PM from Portfolioso.com Blog

" You mount the woman, son....or else, send her out to me, huh?"

Wednesday, December 19, 2012 10:25:03 PM from Twitter for Android

Childhood! http://t.co/jrqLFqk #GetGlue #GrumpyOldMen

Wednesday, December 19, 2012 08:18:16 PM from GetGlue.com

I think this office needs a scrolling marquee

Wednesday, December 19, 2012 05:02:10 PM from Twitter Web Client

@__JLu No. That was just a quote here

In reply to @__JLu's tweet

Wednesday, December 19, 2012 04:39:30 PM from Twitter Web Client