Thus guy is aweeeeesomeeee dudee

Saturday, May 17, 2014 01:08:25 AM from Twitter for Android

Every time my phone goes off, I expect @__JLu to be favoriting one of my tweets, but it is an alert about how our reporting is down #die

Friday, May 16, 2014 11:57:58 PM from Twitter for Android

Drinkin Bud Light bottles. Tastes like the Grape, but cheaper

Friday, May 16, 2014 11:46:19 PM from Twitter for Android

Kevin's friend is playing ass twerkin videos all night and the gf is like:

I approve of this http://t.co/L0ymJxkgDJ

Friday, May 16, 2014 11:37:48 PM from Twitter for Android

Bubble Butt.. This is some beyond twerking shit

Friday, May 16, 2014 11:35:06 PM from Twitter for Android

Just watched the music video of Turn Down for What by DJ Snake and Lil John. DAFUQ

Friday, May 16, 2014 11:30:41 PM from Twitter for Android

Our shit has been down all night and look at all the fucks I give. Maybe it'll give McGivern a heart attack.

Friday, May 16, 2014 10:39:05 PM from Twitter for Android

Will you crackers on call fix the reporting cluster so I stop getting alerts while I'm trying to get shitfaced on Friday night? Please and thx

Friday, May 16, 2014 09:28:25 PM from Twitter for Android

Why is it that the only people who go through your recycling for bottle deposits are middle aged Asian women?

Friday, May 16, 2014 07:49:08 PM from Twitter for Android

Touche, @KFCBarstool , touche. Sounds like a blast... http://t.co/x0CObWa1EC

Friday, May 16, 2014 07:04:35 PM from Twitter for Android

This old bitch is watching loud videos on her phone. Shut the fuck up

Friday, May 16, 2014 06:56:51 PM from Twitter for Android

No seats and the door to the car with like 3, people in it is locked. These mother fuckers #MTA

Friday, May 16, 2014 06:47:53 PM from Twitter for Android

If this train was on time and not 8 minutes late, I wouldn't have gotten caught in the rain. #MTA #die

Friday, May 16, 2014 06:43:49 PM from Twitter for Android

This is the jokeshop who manages our DBAs, yet refuses to make decisions... It's time to move on... http://t.co/czl6iBzm4Z

Friday, May 16, 2014 05:01:52 PM from Twitter Web Client