quote of the day via @XtinaSchelin: "We knit something together using unicorn hair and wishes?" #BOOKER
Can't ever go wrong telling someone to eat a bowl of dicks: http://nyc.barstoolsports.com/random-thoughts/lawyer-in-hot-water-for-asking-office-manager-if-she-wanted-a-dirty-sanchez-and-telling-her-to-eat-a-bowl-of-dicks/
Friday, August 22, 2014 08:12:45 AM from Twitter for Android
Protip: If you put the ice in 3 seconds before dumping the water on your head, it's too warm and you're a pussy
Anyone on Twitter have a private jet they wanna fly me around in?
Friday, August 22, 2014 12:26:03 AM from Twitter for Android
I've made a huge mistake in life. I lack a Caribbean friend to teach me steel drums
Thursday, August 21, 2014 09:44:23 PM from Twitter for Android
According to @RockNationRadio, I've just been informed the Night Ranger guitarist went to Whitesnake
Thursday, August 21, 2014 04:33:48 PM from Twitter for Android
Someone's not sharing!
Thursday, August 21, 2014 03:48:18 PM from Twitter for Android
F- at corn hole with strangers. Lost all 3 games like 21-5
Thursday, August 21, 2014 03:10:04 PM from Twitter for Android
I'm forcin Maresca to bang this Van Halen chick. He's got no choice.
Thursday, August 21, 2014 01:48:14 PM from Twitter for Android
I'm all about these nurses giving out jello shots out of syringes.
Thursday, August 21, 2014 01:37:48 PM from Twitter for Android
No worries @MalJNew , they're old ladies
Thursday, August 21, 2014 01:38:21 PM from Twitter for Android
These coronas are going down really smooth you guys. #4, but I don't see any nearby pissas. Sux
Thursday, August 21, 2014 01:15:14 PM from Twitter for Android
Oh I see how it is... Princess Anna wants that dick juice
Wednesday, August 20, 2014 11:01:21 PM from Twitter for Android
Jesus Christ, Disney
Wednesday, August 20, 2014 10:57:39 PM from Twitter for Android
Gonna watch Frozen to see what all the fuss is about. First scene. Question. How'd they chop ice into perfect blocks that easily?
Wednesday, August 20, 2014 10:37:35 PM from Twitter for Android