Fire hydrants all over Central Park right now for Ed Sheeran

Saturday, September 26, 2015 11:38:40 PM from Twitter for Android

This thing still work?

Saturday, September 26, 2015 06:25:48 PM from Twitter SMS

Yo @MikeMcCreadyPJ, throw me one of your guitar picks later please! #GlobalCitizen #pearljam

Saturday, September 26, 2015 01:05:40 PM from Twitter for Android

This is why you buy Motorola or LG Android Phones. Fuck Samsung http://t.co/xonYtlO0Xi #android #feedly

Friday, September 25, 2015 03:34:52 PM from Twitter Web Client

Bloombito chillin' with the Pope. Guy isn't even mayor anymore and he's still more relevant than idiot @BilldeBlasio http://t.co/EOVmsaVUjk

Friday, September 25, 2015 12:30:46 PM from Twitter Web Client

Oh shot, my Twitter..... Welp, didn't tweet anything that stupid tonight

Friday, September 25, 2015 03:59:57 AM from Twitter for Android

Alice in chains on at the bar. Nice

Thursday, September 24, 2015 07:36:34 PM from Twitter for Android

Jesus Christ Cisco. I know you've been trying to fuck the married marketing girl for like 4 months already but be more discrete about it.

Thursday, September 24, 2015 06:06:47 PM from Twitter Web Client

Toppi's Minions shirt is straight up gold

Thursday, September 24, 2015 05:48:25 PM from Twitter Web Client

Black Keys - Rubber Factory is a great album to fuck to.#jussayin

Thursday, September 24, 2015 05:47:36 PM from Twitter Web Client

My tweets are like 10,000x better when I'm drunk... Past week. Lame. Today? Gold.

Thursday, September 24, 2015 05:41:51 PM from Twitter Web Client

🎶 What about the night,
Makes you change, yeah,
Oh, from sweet,
To deranged? 🎶

Thursday, September 24, 2015 05:38:00 PM from Twitter Web Client

More of a Katy Perry fan myself. Better boobs.

Thursday, September 24, 2015 05:32:17 PM from Twitter Web Client

My GF is hammered right now. I can tell by peering across this office...........

Thursday, September 24, 2015 05:30:50 PM from Twitter Web Client