Watching gramps diagram our cabinet move is the most painful thing ever.
Tuesday, September 01, 2015 02:25:41 PM from Twitter for Android
@Windows 10 + @Skype are being cocksuckers right now. When someone sends you a skype image, it asks you which program to use EVERY TIME.
@__JLu party animal. Guy goes to Miami and Vegas in one shot. #ballin'
Sunday, August 30, 2015 02:47:06 AM from Twitter for Android
Ordered Dominos at 12:40. It's still not here. The only acceptable excuse is the delivery guy died in a car accident. #cunts
Sunday, August 30, 2015 02:15:41 AM from Twitter for Android
My grandpa and I salute each other when we fart
Sunday, August 30, 2015 01:03:07 AM from Twitter for Android
Clogged the fuckin toilet at the bar. It was a single bathroom. #sorrynotsorrygetbetterplumbingishitalot
Sunday, August 30, 2015 12:35:05 AM from Twitter for Android
@BadPointer LOL you know. And wow I shouldn't have tweeted that.
Saturday, August 29, 2015 05:22:03 PM from Twitter for Android
I'm gonna make sure some bitch McAsshole knows that the guy he fired who told him to fuck off helped me solve this critical issue. #cunts
Saturday, August 29, 2015 03:01:02 AM from Twitter for Android
Fuck what you jokers think I am
Saturday, August 29, 2015 02:55:55 AM from Twitter for Android
This world is donezo
Saturday, August 29, 2015 02:34:17 AM from Twitter for Android
You know what's sick about Alanis Morisette? My boy Taylor Hawkins was her drummer before he was in Foo Fighters
Saturday, August 29, 2015 01:34:38 AM from Twitter for Android
My life is awesome and yours sucks
Saturday, August 29, 2015 01:27:43 AM from Twitter for Android
Key change!
Saturday, August 29, 2015 12:29:11 AM from Twitter for Android
My heart will go I karaoke... So Titanic
Saturday, August 29, 2015 12:28:11 AM from Twitter for Android