I'll have whatever Bill Murray's on. Guy's outside his mind
Friday, October 28, 2016 10:44:23 PM from Twitter for Android
Yo @MalJNew can we trade spots on the couch. Pup keeps farting on me
Wednesday, October 26, 2016 12:03:54 AM from Twitter for Android
#baerod for the post game show!
Tuesday, October 25, 2016 11:58:13 PM from Twitter for Android
Ken Rosenthal is like 4'7"
Tuesday, October 25, 2016 11:51:02 PM from Twitter for Android
Luna keeps pointing her farts at my face. Probably karma for my gassy ass ways https://t.co/ORub6OBHNx
Tuesday, October 25, 2016 11:26:07 PM from Twitter for Android
Yo Cleveland, you're welcome. #ItsMillerTime
Tuesday, October 25, 2016 10:31:37 PM from Twitter for Android
@googlechrome I understand this is a highly experimental build. It's been fixed already! Thanks!
Tuesday, October 25, 2016 02:56:08 PM from Twitter for Android
Since when did Bill Gates get decrepit AF? Guy should be able to buy himself youth https://t.co/kQj1OSeAcB
Tuesday, October 25, 2016 09:32:44 AM from Twitter Web Client
What kind of dumb bitch pages the oncall for an incident that happened and fixed itself an hour ago?
Saturday, October 22, 2016 06:54:55 AM from Twitter for Android
My 4:30 "30 minute" call is still going on a Friday afternoon. No one knows what the fuck they're doing and I want to jump off a cliff
Friday, October 21, 2016 05:39:39 PM from Twitter Web Client
I fucking hate cocksucking piece of shit Microsoft Azure. Absolute garbage to manage
Friday, October 21, 2016 11:39:55 AM from Twitter Web Client
Yo @googlechrome: Fix ya Canary Windows x64 build. It crashes within seconds of launching.
Friday, October 21, 2016 11:03:28 AM from Twitter Web Client
@KFCBarstool Look how filthy the NYC subway is. Absolute grimefest
Thursday, October 20, 2016 05:16:39 PM from Twitter Web Client
Just realized right now that Instagram usernames are all lowercase. Feel like I'm failing the interwebs, you guys. #oldmillennial
Thursday, October 20, 2016 12:21:13 AM from Twitter for Android
This 80 degree weather at the end of October is a bunch of horse shit
Tuesday, October 18, 2016 01:38:25 PM from Twitter Web Client