Lol, the USA, formerly the greatest country in the world, has a president that pays off porn stars he banged to shut up and crashes global economies by starting infantile trade wars.

Hillary's emails tho 🙄

Friday, April 06, 2018 01:22:40 AM from Twitter for Android

Hey MTA, let's move the train out of the station already. It's not a parking lot.

Thursday, April 05, 2018 07:03:05 PM from Twitter for Android

#thefuckingsubway

Wednesday, April 04, 2018 09:54:03 AM from Twitter for Android

Omg I was talking about my Luna dog, duh

Tuesday, April 03, 2018 10:11:11 PM from Twitter for Android

My girl is too civilized and mannerly to pee on tiny tree patches or sidewalks

Tuesday, April 03, 2018 10:10:45 PM from Twitter for Android

There is zero grass in Astoria. Zero. Cero. She has no ass clue where to pee and poo

Tuesday, April 03, 2018 10:09:32 PM from Twitter for Android

See, in my older age, idgaf as much about drinking, but they don't have Papaya Dog or dollar pizza in Ohio doe. So jussayin. #getnycfoodinmybelly

Monday, April 02, 2018 10:29:59 PM from Twitter for Android

Wanna know how much of a weirdo I am? So I had a bunch of sour patch kids in my left hand. Then I licked my wedding ring because it tasted like sugar.

Monday, April 02, 2018 02:59:02 PM from Twitter Web Client

Why do morons shit in the stall right next to you when there's an open buffer stall available. #fuckssake

Monday, April 02, 2018 12:48:04 PM from Twitter for Android

Jesus Christ, CC

Saturday, March 31, 2018 04:25:33 PM from Twitter for Android

Hey @Twitter IDGAF about tweets my followers like. My timeline should be just their tweets, in reverse chronological order. Stop trying to be Facebook and Instagram.

Wednesday, March 28, 2018 10:12:52 AM from Twitter Web Client

New blog post: Google Chrome Sucks Balls at Multi-Monitor/ Multi-DPI Settings on Windows 10 https://t.co/3jootIQ3iW

Tuesday, March 27, 2018 06:25:49 PM from Portfolioso.com Blog

Hey @realDonaldTrump, will you stop being a dumb motherfucker about foreign trade wars. You're making my stock crash you dipshit

Saturday, March 24, 2018 12:21:52 AM from Twitter for Android

You guys! I heard that @VP has a gay bunny and I could not be happier for him!

Friday, March 23, 2018 10:11:19 PM from Twitter for Android

@ky9 It's either an iPhone or the Pixel 2. Nothing else. If you can wait until the fall, Pixel 3 or next iPhone. But a Pixel 2 is my favorite and will still be pretty future proof. And has a boss camera. You'll just need to deal without iMessage.

In reply to @ky9's tweet

Saturday, March 17, 2018 03:14:00 AM from Twitter for Android