PSA: If you're wishing a Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there... Make sure "mother's" has an apostrophe and "moms" does not.

Y'all are driving me crazy with your incorrect grammar

Sunday, May 10, 2020 07:14:20 PM from Twitter for Android

Google Opinion Rewards just paid me 60 cents to tell them Android Auto is buggy AF

Saturday, May 09, 2020 02:38:32 PM from Twitter for Android

Elon Musk is a fuckin weirdo. Smart guy, but wayyyyyyy out there

Saturday, May 09, 2020 08:09:00 AM from Twitter for Android

The fuck names their kid X Æ A-12

In reply to @portfolioso's tweet

Saturday, May 09, 2020 08:11:48 AM from Twitter for Android

Humbug

Friday, May 08, 2020 01:02:22 PM from Twitter for Android

This construction guy dicking around with some utility thing in the middle of my town's most dangerous intersection didn't give a FUCK when the light turned green. Told cars to drive around him. Balls. https://t.co/L6Wz08BIAw

Wednesday, May 06, 2020 10:36:05 PM from Twitter for Android

The polar vortex that's dropped over the eastern half of the country can go fuck itself, the stupid bastard. Didn't drop down all winter, so I got no snow, but when I want spring weather, it decided to just hang around. Middle of fucking may and it's going to be below freezing.

Wednesday, May 06, 2020 05:33:28 PM from Twitter Web App

Was on your average work call. Text from wife: https://t.co/1X2LEcSKHa

Wednesday, May 06, 2020 05:11:14 PM from Twitter Web App

This guy told @realDonaldTrump
To eat a dick

‘Very difficult and emotional’: Pandemic expert leaves Trump administration https://t.co/JTgaRptx22

Wednesday, May 06, 2020 09:24:58 AM from Twitter for Android

ABOLISH the useless @EPA
@EPAwater - this organization does nothing to protect Americans and doesn't base their decisions on science. Rather, are swayed by lobbyists. Defund this waste of money now!

https://t.co/2b1GgRo411

Tuesday, May 05, 2020 07:17:55 AM from Twitter for Android

https://t.co/eD6ngt96dY

Monday, May 04, 2020 09:59:43 PM from Twitter for Android

Grandma just referred to my kid as "Our baby"

Monday, May 04, 2020 09:49:04 AM from Twitter for Android

For real though, why does all this crazy shit come from Asia? Earth: get your life together.

Invasive species (Asian longhorned beetle, stink bugs, murder hornets), corona viruses (SARS, Covid), tentacle porn... Christ Almighty.

Monday, May 04, 2020 07:55:46 AM from Twitter for Android

It's been a good run, you guys!

In reply to @portfolioso's tweet

Sunday, May 03, 2020 11:29:36 PM from Twitter for Android