The lack of slut costumes in this office today are appalling

Friday, October 28, 2011 12:27:46 PM from Twitter Web Client

Slept so soundly on the train, pretty sure if the dude next to me drew a dick on my face, I wouldn't have woken up.

Friday, October 28, 2011 09:52:58 AM from Twitter Web Client

Pet peeve: Greasy assed smudges all over train windows. Wash your filty assed hair, people and dont lean on it.

Friday, October 28, 2011 08:53:50 AM from txt

@MalJNew HE didn't have an option. I showed up, drank and was like enjoyyyy the bill. Smell ya later

In reply to @MalJNew's tweet

Thursday, October 27, 2011 10:44:04 PM from Twitter Web Client

fuck this crowded shithole train

Thursday, October 27, 2011 08:01:37 PM from txt

looks like tonights activities include php, jquery ui/fancybox and ordering

Thursday, October 27, 2011 07:50:34 PM from txt

Beer and JQuery FancyBox. Sounds legit.

Thursday, October 27, 2011 05:38:00 PM from Twitter Web Client

I need someone to dress up as Jasmine for Halloween. Then I need to bang said person. #missioncomplete

Thursday, October 27, 2011 03:53:59 PM from Twitter Web Client

Bar at lunch... Alice in Chains... Owner giving me beers. Legit

Thursday, October 27, 2011 02:37:57 PM from txt

DLK is a badass: "Those guys need to a we're not fucking dumbasses asterisk next to our account"

Thursday, October 27, 2011 09:56:36 AM from Twitter Web Client

How the fuck did my pants get wet? I didn't just piss myself, did I?

Wednesday, October 26, 2011 03:00:12 PM from Twitter Web Client

They need to finish this fuckin Popham Road bridge. Fuckin drilling, banging and machines all night, and I'm a half a mile away!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011 01:47:33 AM from Twitter Web Client

Siri, can you get me a Galaxy Nexus?

Tuesday, October 25, 2011 11:16:46 PM from Twitter for Android

Bitch finally took my advice. I win! When I propose something at work, it will go my way, and it will be good. #futurestevejobs #winning

Tuesday, October 25, 2011 10:17:56 PM from Twitter Web Client

I swear to God, if this cunt coughs in my face one more fucking time...

Tuesday, October 25, 2011 05:00:04 PM from Twitter Web Client