9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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Shit the Dandys are in Brooklyn tonight. I must see them Friday, September 19, 2014 1:38:08 PMTwitter for Android
Verizon 4G sux. Entire train ride and I can't even load a mobile webpage. Took me 4 attempts to tweet this, but I have full 4G Friday, September 19, 2014 8:25:00 AMTwitter for Android
@__JLu SEO master in training
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Thursday, September 18, 2014 9:18:08 PMTwitter for Android
http://t.co/Y9SE3no3gV Wednesday, September 17, 2014 9:11:54 PMTwitter for Android
After minutes of intense discussion and complex calculus solving, the supermarket finally exchanged my outdated butter Tuesday, September 16, 2014 6:55:06 PMTwitter for Android
Legit just did a full loop around the office to avoid small talk with the CTO Monday, September 15, 2014 12:35:08 PMTwitter for Android
Someone get ConEd on standby, blowing this place up with the amount of gas I'm rippin out. Saturday, September 13, 2014 11:18:26 PMTwitter for Android
I wish I was so baller that my band would play secret underground shows as The Holy Shits Saturday, September 13, 2014 12:43:52 PMTwitter for Android
"I'm like a human lube." "Christina Agulera looks like she threw up a Spanish omelette" -Mikey Saturday, September 13, 2014 1:55:37 AMTwitter for Android
The most hysterical Beyoncé vs Britney debate is happening between @Luigitime and @MichaelShatin and @MalJNew is missing it all. Saturday, September 13, 2014 1:39:19 AMTwitter for Android
@ky9 Enjoy Los Mets night
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Friday, September 12, 2014 8:55:06 PMTwitter for Android
Ran into a 45 year old @tomwcleary at the bar Friday, September 12, 2014 8:52:14 PMTwitter for Android
@RockNationRadio always busting my bubble 😁
In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet
Thursday, September 11, 2014 9:41:34 PMTwitter for Android
Does anyone know a Leon who's white? Feel like it's exclusively a black name Thursday, September 11, 2014 9:26:38 PMTwitter for Android
@DaveLozo @BarstoolJJ Bunch of pussies. #cuncel
In reply to @DaveLozo's tweet
Thursday, September 11, 2014 8:43:56 PMTwitter for Android
Idk how I uprooted a cactus at this Mexican joint, but I did Thursday, September 11, 2014 8:14:22 PMTwitter for Android
Had like five margs. This is what I felt like when I had 3 keystones my freshman year at 130 lbs #times Thursday, September 11, 2014 8:09:19 PMTwitter for Android
@BarstoolJJ cuncel
In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet
Thursday, September 11, 2014 8:02:41 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 Cuncel America. There is no more hope.
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Thursday, September 11, 2014 8:02:06 PMTwitter for Android
The cars are really shiny today Wednesday, September 10, 2014 8:17:44 AMTwitter for Android
Why aren't there more bank of Americas on 10th ave cunts Sunday, September 07, 2014 7:02:29 PMTwitter for Android
I mean... I'm fuckin vile. If something is too bad for me to tweet, you know it must be on another level
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, September 07, 2014 6:43:43 PMTwitter for Android
This bartendress can put the sorting hat on me all she wants Sunday, September 07, 2014 6:38:50 PMTwitter for Android
Was about to quote something overheard at this bar but it is beyond too vile for my newly public twitter account Sunday, September 07, 2014 5:51:09 PMTwitter for Android
I will forever regret never being a drummer in a rock band. #davegrohlteachmetheways Sunday, September 07, 2014 5:48:23 PMTwitter for Android
RT @PaulONeillYES: Tip of the gap to ya Jete Sunday, September 07, 2014 5:06:34 PMTwitter for Android
Barkeep: bring me a Tito's and soda because this house vodka soda tastes like it's for the poors Sunday, September 07, 2014 4:59:28 PMTwitter for Android
I am so impressed with Android and the direction of Motorola. They are finally getting it right! Saturday, September 06, 2014 2:16:39 AMTwitter for Android
Just dropped a ten spot in the shitter Saturday, September 06, 2014 1:22:14 AMTwitter for Android
@mich_amore no treble
In reply to @mich_amore's tweet
Saturday, September 06, 2014 1:18:31 AMTwitter for Android
The Indians would blow this game... Bases juiced, 0 outs... Friday, September 05, 2014 10:17:06 PMTwitter for Android
Cuncel da Yankees Friday, September 05, 2014 9:49:08 PMTwitter for Android
Gotta admit... Chief Wahoo is a pretty cool dude and if you think it's racist you're a fuckin asshole Friday, September 05, 2014 8:48:39 PMTwitter for Android
@BarstoolJJ cuncelled
In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet
Tuesday, September 02, 2014 8:38:48 PMTwitter for Android
I shouldn't be drunk in Walmart but I mean come on... It's Walmart. At least its not meth Tuesday, September 02, 2014 7:22:18 PMTwitter for Android
God damn it Walmart. So many awesome shirts. But only in 3XL. Why is murrica so fat? Tuesday, September 02, 2014 7:17:53 PMTwitter for Android
My hair is fantastic Tuesday, September 02, 2014 6:49:12 PMTwitter for Android
I need to drop some Mexican stat. Donde esta el baño? Tuesday, September 02, 2014 6:42:47 PMTwitter for Android
Christ. Everything is free in Ohio. Tuesday, September 02, 2014 6:23:05 PMTwitter for Android
It takes a lot to get me drunk, but one of these mags got me good. Jeez Tuesday, September 02, 2014 5:30:27 PMTwitter for Android
I've used up five years worth of my chick flick quota in like 2 days... Tuesday, September 02, 2014 1:22:03 PMTwitter for Android
Why do you do this to me, Fairfield... Why? http://t.co/2BY1g4xbhq Tuesday, September 02, 2014 12:32:41 PMTwitter for Android
A bunch of pictures of me next to some Dave Grohl artwork #IfMyPhoneGotHacked Monday, September 01, 2014 11:07:15 AMTwitter for Android
Movie the gf is watching with her momma is depressing the fuck out of me, so if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go look at JLaw's titties Monday, September 01, 2014 1:04:32 AMTwitter for Android
@RMerlinDev are the Asus routers affected by this? http://t.co/6fV490w2mZ Sunday, August 31, 2014 12:13:32 PMTwitter for Android
@KFCBarstool Clancy. I can't change my channel and this is bullshit. Switching back to Time Warner. J/k #fios http://t.co/V9B1kUcnI7 Sunday, August 31, 2014 1:34:15 AMTwitter for Android
They just left the strip club because the girls there didn't have big enough boobs. Come on.. Saturday, August 30, 2014 11:56:42 PMTwitter for Android
Once again, Selena can't get enough of that dick juice http://t.co/AzHWRFz3Ki Saturday, August 30, 2014 11:11:03 PMTwitter for Android
Bartender HOOKED us up before last call Saturday, August 30, 2014 10:00:16 PMTwitter for Android
Entire table is away mingling so I can sneak one out.

(A fart) 		Saturday, August 30, 2014 8:04:26 PMTwitter for Android
Rolled up to the Church blasting Pimp Juice #causemylifeisdopeandidodopethings Saturday, August 30, 2014 2:19:59 PMTwitter for Android
90s on 9 SiriusXM is kill in it right now. Saturday, August 30, 2014 10:19:53 AMTwitter for Android
Dem times when your coworkers post horrifying plump child tbts from the early 80s #gross Friday, August 29, 2014 12:08:21 AMTwitter for Android
GET ON OUR LEVEL #TURNT http://t.co/XRirwtlWnO Thursday, August 28, 2014 11:16:10 PMTwitter for Android
I've been slacking on twitter lately. Probably because I stopped drinking and got lame. So now I'm gonna drink and be awesome on Twitter Thursday, August 28, 2014 10:50:06 PMTwitter for Android
@scoopANDslam is that app out for android?
In reply to @scoopANDslam's tweet
Thursday, August 28, 2014 10:42:37 PMTwitter for Android
Real Housewives of Disney: Poor job casting Jasmine. She's too white for me... Thursday, August 28, 2014 10:42:17 PMTwitter for Android
Gotta love that Yankees/Giants life @BarstoolJJ @KFCBarstool
In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet
Thursday, August 28, 2014 10:25:47 PMTwitter for Android
Why does my tom Collins taste like weed? Thursday, August 28, 2014 10:15:52 PMTwitter for Android
This Kermit the frog Detroit fan over here at the bar... Thursday, August 28, 2014 2:38:15 PMTwitter for Android
Because of the way our network is segmented, we just quadrupled our firewall traffic by adding a load balancer. For fuck's sake! Thursday, August 28, 2014 12:06:43 PMTwitter for Android
Un-cuncel Kevin Long if they hit like this everyday, eh @BarstoolJJ ? Wednesday, August 27, 2014 8:12:44 PMTwitter for Android
RBI double. #YeahJeets Wednesday, August 27, 2014 8:04:11 PMTwitter for Android
I've got like a construction workers eyebrow... Wednesday, August 27, 2014 12:37:18 AMTwitter for Android
@kerbear88 my commutes also sucked a d today. #mtablows
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Monday, August 25, 2014 11:13:49 PMTwitter for Android
F- job by the MTA getting me to work today. Monday, August 25, 2014 9:16:35 AMTwitter for Android
I want a puppyyyyy Sunday, August 24, 2014 1:13:42 AMTwitter for Android Tablets
Whisky ginger double, a fireball shot and a beer in an hour. Didn't do a damn thing. I'll drive us all home. Why do I even bother drinking? Friday, August 22, 2014 10:11:06 PMTwitter for Android
@scoopANDslam haven't shaved since 2 days ago. Look like a bear.
In reply to @scoopANDslam's tweet
Friday, August 22, 2014 10:03:53 PMTwitter for Android
Can't ever go wrong telling someone to eat a bowl of dicks: http://nyc.barstoolsports.com/random-thoughts/lawyer-in-hot-water-for-asking-office-manager-if-she-wanted-a-dirty-sanchez-and-telling-her-to-eat-a-bowl-of-dicks/ Friday, August 22, 2014 8:12:45 AMTwitter for Android
Anyone on Twitter have a private jet they wanna fly me around in? Friday, August 22, 2014 12:26:03 AMTwitter for Android
I've made a huge mistake in life. I lack a Caribbean friend to teach me steel drums Thursday, August 21, 2014 9:44:23 PMTwitter for Android
According to @RockNationRadio, I've just been informed the Night Ranger guitarist went to Whitesnake Thursday, August 21, 2014 4:33:48 PMTwitter for Android
Someone's not sharing! Thursday, August 21, 2014 3:48:18 PMTwitter for Android
F- at corn hole with strangers. Lost all 3 games like 21-5 Thursday, August 21, 2014 3:10:04 PMTwitter for Android
I'm forcin Maresca to bang this Van Halen chick. He's got no choice. Thursday, August 21, 2014 1:48:14 PMTwitter for Android
No worries @MalJNew , they're old ladies
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, August 21, 2014 1:38:21 PMTwitter for Android
I'm all about these nurses giving out jello shots out of syringes. Thursday, August 21, 2014 1:37:48 PMTwitter for Android
These coronas are going down really smooth you guys. #4, but I don't see any nearby pissas. Sux Thursday, August 21, 2014 1:15:14 PMTwitter for Android
Oh I see how it is... Princess Anna wants that dick juice Wednesday, August 20, 2014 11:01:21 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ, Disney Wednesday, August 20, 2014 10:57:39 PMTwitter for Android
Gonna watch Frozen to see what all the fuss is about. First scene. Question. How'd they chop ice into perfect blocks that easily? Wednesday, August 20, 2014 10:37:35 PMTwitter for Android
Also jammin to Salt N Pepa with @MalJNew and I'm not sad about it. Wednesday, August 20, 2014 9:45:49 PMTwitter for Android
I just said eh like a Canadian and I don't even know why Wednesday, August 20, 2014 9:45:03 PMTwitter for Android
I mean... It kinda tastes like hospital food, but its iight. Wednesday, August 20, 2014 8:17:53 PMTwitter for Android
On call for a week straight. FML. Wednesday, August 20, 2014 6:31:49 PMTwitter for Android
RT @KFCBarstool: I'm officially over the summer. Give me the Fall ASAP. Wednesday, August 20, 2014 1:56:28 PMTwitter for Android
My team didn't do so badly tonight. Second place aka first loser! Monday, August 18, 2014 8:56:49 PMTwitter for Android
The projects is poppin tonight #woodside Monday, August 18, 2014 8:56:17 PMTwitter for Android
Maaaaa! The meatloaf! Sunday, August 17, 2014 11:25:12 PMTwitter for Android
Oh nooo... Left my Jeets souvenir cup in the freezer and cracked it. Guess I'll need to go back to the Stadium this year. Sunday, August 17, 2014 11:11:08 PMTwitter for Android
Not sad to admit that I will have the most goosebumps and my eyes may sweat a little when Hey Jealousy comes on Sunday, August 17, 2014 9:06:58 PMTwitter for Android
They don't make rock like they used to in the 90s Sunday, August 17, 2014 8:37:39 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew they are SO good live
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Sunday, August 17, 2014 8:09:58 PMTwitter for Android
There are like 15 people at this Gin Blossoms concert. Rude. Sunday, August 17, 2014 7:59:08 PMTwitter for Android
I don't follow BuzzFeed for a reason Twitter, so stop showing me fuckin Buzzfeed posts because my friends follow them. Sunday, August 17, 2014 2:45:05 PMTwitter for Android
YEAH JEETS Saturday, August 16, 2014 6:46:23 PMTwitter for Android
"I was losin' 10 grand one time... But I got it back..." Hhhhh Saturday, August 16, 2014 10:28:52 AMTwitter for Android
I'm upstate, lol Saturday, August 16, 2014 10:21:25 AMTwitter for Android
John Porpora, casually making me piss my pants with laughter on a Saturday morning. Saturday, August 16, 2014 10:13:29 AMTwitter for Android