9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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Watching Sonic Highways and from what I hear so far this D.C song is gonna be badass Saturday, October 25, 2014 1:00:03 AMTwitter for Android
Pull the train out of the station, cunts. Thursday, October 23, 2014 9:19:08 AMTwitter for Android
Those fuckin movable platform shits at 14th st broke. What kind of asshole designed a circular platform that requires extenders Thursday, October 23, 2014 9:09:41 AMTwitter for Android
F- commute on the 4/5 this morning. Train went 2 mph the whole way from GCT to Fulton... when it was even moving Thursday, October 23, 2014 9:04:27 AMTwitter for Android
@BarstoolJJ My company has lunch and learns. It's BYOL... Attendance is near 0
In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet
Wednesday, October 22, 2014 6:41:45 PMTwitter for Android
If you drown yourself in perfume that smells like toilet bowl cleaner on a crowded subway, you should off yourself Tuesday, October 21, 2014 11:03:53 AMTwitter for Android
embotellamiento Sunday, October 19, 2014 10:58:53 PMTwitter for Android
My grandma was commenting on a 71 year old getting married for the first time: "She's cleaning the cobwebs out" Sunday, October 19, 2014 8:57:26 PMTwitter for Android
My eyes are sweating Saturday, October 18, 2014 1:45:39 AMTwitter for Android
Dat grungy keyboard doe Saturday, October 18, 2014 1:02:04 AMTwitter for Android
No idea how Taylor can drum and sing perfectly without getting winded Saturday, October 18, 2014 1:00:24 AMTwitter for Android
Dave marry me Saturday, October 18, 2014 12:58:54 AMTwitter for Android
Omg this concert. #foo Saturday, October 18, 2014 12:36:52 AMTwitter for Android
Taylor calling out props to Cheap Trick @RockNationRadio #SonicHighways Friday, October 17, 2014 11:32:28 PMTwitter for Android
I was looking for a diamond but found a quarter. - Sonic Highways Friday, October 17, 2014 11:26:36 PMTwitter for Android
OMG SONIC HIGHWAYS Friday, October 17, 2014 11:16:48 PMTwitter for Android
SO excited for Sonic Highways tonight and then a live For Fighters concert after the premier on Facebook com/hbo Friday, October 17, 2014 8:55:37 PMTwitter for Android
Protip from one of my system engineers regarding not getting viruses: "Stop watching frickin porn on the production servers" Friday, October 17, 2014 3:04:28 PMTwitter for Android
Absolutely not one person wants to do a Jaeger bomb with me and they're have off. COME ON Thursday, October 16, 2014 9:39:02 PMTwitter for Android
When I open my bar, vodka crans are gonna be called Vagina Juice Thursday, October 16, 2014 8:32:05 PMTwitter for Android
Cuncel da Jets Thursday, October 16, 2014 8:28:55 PMTwitter for Android
Just realized drinking is the only thing that makes my job tolerable Thursday, October 16, 2014 8:26:14 PMTwitter for Android
What kind of devil puts a McDonald's next to a bar with like free drinks? Thursday, October 16, 2014 8:11:51 PMTwitter for Android
Freddy told us to wait for him because he was getting a sandwich. And by sandwich, he meant drunk underage girl Thursday, October 16, 2014 6:33:55 PMTwitter for Android
BRB, CTO propaganda meeting Thursday, October 16, 2014 10:21:00 AMTwitter for Android
Protip: Having pickles and potato chips for lunch is not recommended due to reflux Wednesday, October 15, 2014 3:18:48 PMTwitter for Android
"You're not home yet and you're not even coming over? Come on. Dave grohl is on Letterman and I have an antenna like it's 1969" Tuesday, October 14, 2014 11:59:00 PMTwitter for Android
Singing David's dogs at karaoke. Tuesday, October 14, 2014 9:00:33 PMTwitter for Android
In desperate need of a go-to karaoke song Tuesday, October 14, 2014 7:28:09 PMTwitter for Android
Secaucus Junction station: I've never smelled anything like it in my life #shithole Monday, October 13, 2014 5:14:09 PMTwitter for Android
@XtinaSchelin I can believe this. Was at a Kmart once and the 1989 terminal they had kept freezing...
In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet
Monday, October 13, 2014 4:39:27 PMTwitter for Android
Almost pulled a George Brett at this casino... Sunday, October 12, 2014 7:52:32 PMTwitter for Android
@dannyrob88 Not one person has ever had a bad time listening to the Ignition (Remix)
In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet
Sunday, October 12, 2014 10:33:28 AMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew @MichaelShatin wake up crackers. I'm a bitch ass drinker and I am still awake Saturday, October 11, 2014 12:40:47 AMTwitter for Android
@FairfieldMirror @ESl403 @Rileylbarrett Former Mirror web admin here... There used to be a WordPress plugin for multiple bylines
In reply to @FairfieldMirror's tweet
Saturday, October 11, 2014 12:34:05 AMTwitter for Android
@kevinrose RT-AC87 Dual-band Wireless-AC2400. Install Merlin's custom firmware. Excellent @RMerlinDev
In reply to @kevinrose's tweet
Friday, October 10, 2014 10:17:32 PMTwitter for Android
But you got dem daddy issues doe. RT @amandabynes I need to tell the truth about my dad Friday, October 10, 2014 10:12:26 PMTwitter for Android
BYNES!!!!! RT @amandabynes Help a nigga out and hop off ma dick Friday, October 10, 2014 4:24:24 PMTwitter for Android
@BarstoolJJ Cuncel da Long
In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet
Friday, October 10, 2014 4:22:45 PMTwitter for Android
I think I just got a cold within the past 45 minutes #sniffle Friday, October 10, 2014 12:15:51 AMTwitter for Android
I did a shot of whiskey an hour ago and chased it with a sip of grapefruit beer. The whiskey is fine. The beer is repeating on me. #FML Thursday, October 09, 2014 11:54:33 PMTwitter for Android
@mich_amore yeah these weeks are bullshit. They need to go quicker. Although I don't fancy getting older...
In reply to @mich_amore's tweet
Thursday, October 09, 2014 11:26:00 PMTwitter for Android
My taxi driver is basically Turtle from Entourage. He's also listening to hockey on the radio #white Thursday, October 09, 2014 11:03:19 PMTwitter for Android
"Special appearance by owner Dick Cantwell" Love how cocky this guy is. "I own this brewery, bitch. Get a load of me" http://t.co/iBmpE8eOkB Thursday, October 09, 2014 10:33:25 PMTwitter for Android
@BarstoolJJ @BarstoolTrent The corn really sucks here in NYC, so I don't see how Trent would make it here.
In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet
Thursday, October 09, 2014 10:30:50 PMTwitter for Android
I just found out that the office beer/keg supply operation is still being run by an ex-employee Thursday, October 09, 2014 9:33:26 PMTwitter for Android
Walking down the street in a gray Stags hoodie and gray sweatpants. A middle school kid just called out "hey coach!" Spot on, son. Spot on. Tuesday, October 07, 2014 9:34:56 PMTwitter for Android
To the bird that took a shit on my window screen... Screw you Tuesday, October 07, 2014 9:31:22 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu @kerbear88 they didn't send me to our datacenter yet and I'm one of their engineers
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Tuesday, October 07, 2014 8:23:44 PMTwitter for Android
Additionally, I might actually get hammered by accident before my server maintenance. Fuck it. Last time I drunk rolled out it was perfect Sunday, October 05, 2014 3:32:41 PMTwitter for Android
I'm at an ethnic BBQ and there is so much meat its fantastic Sunday, October 05, 2014 3:30:50 PMTwitter for Android
This NY weather is gorgeous. Its like how Arizona is in December Sunday, October 05, 2014 3:13:28 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew hhhhh⚡⚡⚡
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Sunday, October 05, 2014 10:34:20 AMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew how'd you reply, jokeface? Sunday, October 05, 2014 10:33:10 AMTwitter for Android
TIL that that Indian dot thing they put on their heads is called a Bindi. Thanks Mal Sunday, October 05, 2014 10:27:58 AMTwitter for Android
@__JLu Staying low profile for a bit, then I'll be back
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Friday, October 03, 2014 8:15:16 AMTwitter for Android
@__JLu long story. CDN crashed and I tweeted about it. peeps at work searched that tag and almost found me
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Friday, October 03, 2014 8:14:58 AMTwitter for Android
Mal: "Let's watch a program" Me: "What are you, 70?" Mal: "Actually, my Great Grandma used to say that." Thursday, October 02, 2014 11:53:15 PMTwitter for Android
Guy in a Spiderman sweatshirt walked into the bar and @MalJNew thought he was trick-or-treating. #jeez #its10/2 Thursday, October 02, 2014 11:31:00 PMTwitter for Android
This reggae band best be covering 54-46 Wednesday, October 01, 2014 11:18:18 PMTwitter for Android
Cocksucker motherfucker http://t.co/dd9Rg4h00V Wednesday, October 01, 2014 1:31:07 PMTwitter for Android
All I do on Twitter is complain. They are valid complaints. Tuesday, September 30, 2014 7:28:54 PMTwitter for Android
Train tracks are like driving over a fuckin washboard. the least smooth. #MTAfail Tuesday, September 30, 2014 7:28:30 PMTwitter for Android
RT @KFCBarstool: Plain and simple if you willingly go to Africa you deserve Ebola and your America privileges should get revoked. Tuesday, September 30, 2014 7:20:15 PMTwitter for Android
The 4/5 is running backwards tonight. The fuckin local 6 trains are passing us. Tuesday, September 30, 2014 6:37:22 PMTwitter for Android
I work with a bunch of fuckin clueless idiots. I wish I had video of this fuckin joke standing over me telling me to do useless things Tuesday, September 30, 2014 11:35:36 AMTwitter for Android
Though of the day: if Styrofoam is polystyrene, does monostyrene exist? Monday, September 29, 2014 5:07:14 PMTwitter for Android
This Simpsons Family Guy is legit Sunday, September 28, 2014 9:12:00 PMTwitter for Android
My girlfriend is black Sunday, September 28, 2014 3:41:22 PMTwitter for Android
Also, ain't nothing better than a bunch of white girls singing No Scrubs at brunch Sunday, September 28, 2014 2:58:51 PMTwitter for Android
Drupal is down. I could fix it, but ima let our Linux guy handle that Sunday, September 28, 2014 2:58:02 PMTwitter for Android
Saw a USAF Vet sticker on someone, I legit thought it meant veterinarian rather than veteran & asked if pets were in the air force #blonde Saturday, September 27, 2014 9:41:42 PMTwitter for Android
I could print this funnel cake on a 3D printer faster than these jokeshops Saturday, September 27, 2014 7:53:40 PMTwitter for Android
Shouldn't take 15 minutes to order a funnel cake and you should print cards where the barcodes don't scratch off so easily. @LunaParkNYC Saturday, September 27, 2014 7:50:43 PMTwitter for Android
You know it's an authentic, legit Italian pizzaria when they've got a postcard of @Pontifex by the register Saturday, September 27, 2014 1:44:47 PMTwitter for Android
#whatsmymothafuckinname Saturday, September 27, 2014 11:57:34 AMTwitter for Android
#YeahJeets http://t.co/RroTAPapn6 Friday, September 26, 2014 1:32:58 PMTwitter for Android
#YeahJeets http://t.co/JdO9VcsDpN Friday, September 26, 2014 1:29:47 PMTwitter for Android
#YeahJeets (I cried a little. What are ya gonna do) Thursday, September 25, 2014 10:33:51 PMTwitter for Android
RT @BarstoolJJ: Thats the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. #RE2PECT Thursday, September 25, 2014 10:28:48 PMTwitter for Android
But this is how loud Yankee Stadium was in the late 90s most times Thursday, September 25, 2014 10:04:14 PMTwitter for Android
Watching a bootleg YES stream by some Canadian station. Needless to say, Canadian sports (besides hockey) and commercials are SILLY Thursday, September 25, 2014 9:14:41 PMTwitter for Android
Oops my b. Spelled Bob Sheppard's name wrong Thursday, September 25, 2014 8:12:02 PMTwitter for Android
My eyes are sweating, waiting for Bob Shepherd to announce Numba 2, Derek Jeter. Thursday, September 25, 2014 7:55:02 PMTwitter for Android
I feel so included where I work, you guys. #hatehatehate Monday, September 22, 2014 9:12:56 PMTwitter for Android
Lol. They canceled the release and didn't happen to email their release engineer. Only managers. Who don't do the maintenance. #winning Monday, September 22, 2014 9:12:39 PMTwitter for Android
@kellyomealia @kerbear88 ladies: http://t.co/z2CTbjUNjF
In reply to @kellyomealia's tweet
Sunday, September 21, 2014 10:39:27 PMTwitter for Android
RBI double. #yeahjeets Sunday, September 21, 2014 3:33:32 PMTwitter for Android
This humidity shouldn't be legal Sunday, September 21, 2014 11:35:25 AMTwitter for Android
I totally called it that jlaw was a nasty minx two years ago in this tweet: https://t.co/2MoEsgjs0t #amirite Sunday, September 21, 2014 8:14:53 AMTwitter for Android
Accidentally bit my coaster in half http://t.co/hD1yPyYGsl Saturday, September 20, 2014 4:22:59 PMTwitter for Android
@Waspito so sad. Mals puppy's mom had a buncha pups and a few of them passed away of that's sad
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Saturday, September 20, 2014 4:18:25 PMTwitter for Android
Wasted Saturday, September 20, 2014 3:43:17 PMTwitter for Android
My hair is on another level Saturday, September 20, 2014 3:17:40 PMTwitter for Android
@LennonImagine Mikey and I may or may not dance for you (maybe in our underwear) Saturday, September 20, 2014 2:37:52 PMTwitter for Android
I don't understand why anyone gives a fuck. Considering the universe's vastness and trillion year history/ evolution, nothing really matters Saturday, September 20, 2014 1:21:00 AMTwitter for Android
I'm having a very difficult time not drumming on the table with my chopsticks Friday, September 19, 2014 11:13:23 PMTwitter for Android
This is bullshit. I'm in Koreatown and Niraj and or Sam aren't here to buy me Korean BBQ. 😠😠 Friday, September 19, 2014 10:16:54 PMTwitter for Android
Am I the only person on Earth not really into Queen? Friday, September 19, 2014 8:08:41 PMTwitter for Android
Rick roll'd at karaoke. Hasn't happened to me in years. http://t.co/GArxYvt063 Friday, September 19, 2014 7:45:19 PMTwitter for Android