9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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Metro North assholes: the few times I take the 8:05, its 10 mins late every single time. The fuck Monday, December 08, 2014 8:06:47 AMTwitter for Android
RT @nycradiogirl: Hey @foofighters no one is leaving Irving Plaza. Hundreds of people who played by the rules just got screwed. Friday, December 05, 2014 3:02:06 PMTwitter for Android
Yellow, green, blue, black, white. Doesn't matter to me.

You block traffic and slow me down, you're an asshole 		Thursday, December 04, 2014 11:03:03 PMTwitter for Android
Was going to cab it home from Gramercy until I saw the assholes marching up Park Ave. Took the subway instead. Thursday, December 04, 2014 11:01:04 PMTwitter for Android
There's this middle aged programmer we call Special Mike because he worked on our discount module. Him and his wife are like the coolest Thursday, December 04, 2014 10:02:50 PMTwitter for Android
If I don't get my way tomorrow I might literally shake a bitch Thursday, December 04, 2014 9:22:55 PMTwitter for Android
Stein is only pretending he works here... Brilliant http://t.co/hYykQJDTSS Thursday, December 04, 2014 5:36:40 PMTwitter for Android
Experimenting with plague.io
Interesting concept... 		Thursday, December 04, 2014 2:35:58 AMTwitter for Android
@__JLu @kerbear88 never had BoA flag me for anything. #looksinnocently
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Wednesday, December 03, 2014 5:28:27 PMTwitter for Android
Welp... Nvm lol Tuesday, December 02, 2014 1:05:38 AMTwitter for Android
I'm OK puking to that shitty fuckin song oh Sherrie Tuesday, December 02, 2014 12:33:40 AMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ Tuesday, December 02, 2014 12:20:20 AMTwitter for Android
Christ Vinny Tuesday, December 02, 2014 12:20:00 AMTwitter for Android
Beers go down much smoother when they're off my tab, ya heard? Monday, December 01, 2014 10:10:35 PMTwitter for Android
I mean... At this point, she's not even getting Eiffel towered. She's getting forklifted Monday, December 01, 2014 9:54:19 PMTwitter for Android
I judge how awesome I am based on looking at my tweets and measuring how batshit crazy they were. Monday, December 01, 2014 9:46:29 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck off, I was in court all day Monday, December 01, 2014 9:43:05 PMTwitter for Android
Why do I only tweet good stuff when I've been drinking? Am I that boring otherwise? Monday, December 01, 2014 9:23:29 PMTwitter for Android
Natalia is gonna get it in tonight at this bar Monday, December 01, 2014 9:22:57 PMTwitter for Android
And furthermore Susan, let's discuss how much of a lesbian my gf is for Rihanna. Monday, December 01, 2014 9:20:26 PMTwitter for Android
So what's the protocol if you accidentally on purpose put drinks on your boss' tab? Monday, December 01, 2014 9:14:50 PMTwitter for Android
Happy bday to the biggest #abuserslist I know besides myself @__JLu Sunday, November 30, 2014 5:28:58 PMTwitter for Android
God bless me Saturday, November 29, 2014 11:21:23 PMTwitter for Android
Remember how during Frozen they said all men eat their own boogers? Disney's legal team's got that handled. http://t.co/Yjzv1RbUf6 Saturday, November 29, 2014 1:03:13 AMTwitter for Android
CBS news... I don't want to watch old men in a conference room. Monday, November 24, 2014 10:37:22 PMTwitter for Android
Guy on CNN is shitting his pants Monday, November 24, 2014 10:22:26 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin war zone Monday, November 24, 2014 10:18:36 PMTwitter for Android
@Lessard_Eric I stole your shirt and headset. http://t.co/IjpSpORdl8
In reply to @Lessard_Eric's tweet
Monday, November 24, 2014 3:59:00 PMTwitter for Android
Freddy, it's not acceptable to tell your girl that you can buy any pussy you want. Just... Don't Friday, November 21, 2014 3:32:36 PMTwitter for Android
My Adidas backpack is awesome on the grounds that it somehow fit two pairs of the gf's boots she got at Marshall's Friday, November 21, 2014 2:11:08 AMTwitter for Android
Eheyyy ant'ny you list'nin to the youtubes? Friday, November 21, 2014 1:10:19 AMTwitter for Android
Ooof. Celene Dion. Not a looker... Friday, November 21, 2014 1:03:54 AMTwitter for Android
Lezzzbe honest mal... Mariah Carey's honey video is on and just... Lezbehonest... 😁 Friday, November 21, 2014 12:58:57 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck I'm supposed to get up at 7 for work tomorrow, right? #balls Friday, November 21, 2014 12:50:50 AMTwitter for Android
Vinny and I are singlehandedly bringing the keyboard solo back Friday, November 21, 2014 12:47:12 AMTwitter for Android
Motorola is freaking sweet. Updated their gallery and camera yo material design in prep for lollipop Friday, November 21, 2014 12:29:23 AMTwitter for Android
Jets. Bills. Monday. Detroit... Shittiest teams, shittiest day of week, shittiest city. Attendance of 12. #dafuq Friday, November 21, 2014 12:18:44 AMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew "Yo Vinny! Can I use your dental floss?" ... "I just got the red wine out of my teeth" Friday, November 21, 2014 12:07:17 AMTwitter for Android
Steve's got me drinking straight up whiskey #exhale Thursday, November 20, 2014 11:24:11 PMTwitter for Android
🎵STEADY AS SHE GOES🎵 (for real.. Not a single bad song was played here. Still) Thursday, November 20, 2014 10:50:32 PMTwitter for Android
Whoever's on the jukebox at this bar is fuckin on point. Beatles, RHCP, Nirvana, Eagles. Guy needs a firm handshake Thursday, November 20, 2014 9:49:58 PMTwitter for Android
Lol @ Sprint for rolling out Android 4.4.4 on the S5. Dude. Lollipop is out. You rolled an outdated update. Thursday, November 20, 2014 2:13:00 PMTwitter for Android
@Dave_Jets Dilemma. Gov Ball falls on reunion weekend for 2010. What should I do? PS hope you're well.
In reply to @Dave_Jets's tweet
Thursday, November 20, 2014 2:10:53 PMTwitter for Android
I've got our best programmer at the bar and he's Googling "what is squirt juice?" Tuesday, November 18, 2014 8:38:16 PMTwitter for Android
Fascinating night... Tuesday, November 18, 2014 1:43:52 AMTwitter for Android
⚡⚡⚡ Saturday, November 15, 2014 12:59:20 AMTwitter for Android
Conjunction junction, what's your function? Friday, November 14, 2014 11:14:21 PMTwitter for Android
PS *it's for it is. I'm not a grammar idiot. Just couldn't fit the 160 chrs Friday, November 14, 2014 10:27:30 PMTwitter for Android
Its common sense really Friday, November 14, 2014 9:53:39 PMTwitter for Android
These fuckers need to stop inflating my ego and yelling me that I'm good at what I do. Its not that I'm good. Everyone else is just an idiot Friday, November 14, 2014 9:53:14 PMTwitter for Android
Edgar: "Yo player, just file the fuckin ticket" Friday, November 14, 2014 1:25:16 PMTwitter for Android
Literally dialed in to this portfolio review call from the shitter. Kinda how I feel about it. Thursday, November 13, 2014 10:07:00 AMTwitter for Android
.@MTA the 4/5 is a piece of shit subway line. Raise the fares and then continue your shitty service assholes http://t.co/k92uqCL2mF Wednesday, November 12, 2014 6:39:29 PMTwitter for Android
Eminem, you're coo and ima let you finish but bring Rihanna back out Tuesday, November 11, 2014 9:38:33 PMTwitter for Android
If they showed puppies running up to returning vets during Stay, I would have lost my shit Tuesday, November 11, 2014 9:35:51 PMTwitter for Android
How hasn't Eminem OD'd yet? Tuesday, November 11, 2014 9:34:41 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ Rhianna. #bangbang Tuesday, November 11, 2014 9:24:45 PMTwitter for Android
OMG Bruce Springsteen #ConcertForValor Tuesday, November 11, 2014 9:02:14 PMTwitter for Android
Also, if I spend 30 seconds holding an elevator for you, the least you could do is give some kind of acknowlegement Tuesday, November 11, 2014 6:35:49 PMTwitter for Android
Under no circumstances should any kind of street meat cost $10. Shouldn't even be $5. Only for the tourists... Tuesday, November 11, 2014 4:50:20 PMTwitter for Android
Bynes is 100% on point. It should be against religion to follow uglies on Twitter. #AintGotNoTimeForThat Tuesday, November 11, 2014 10:00:04 AMTwitter for Android
Lil Terrio is blowing it up down the block from Vinny's. Pure chaos. http://t.co/GucObgtPoa Monday, November 10, 2014 11:35:43 PMTwitter for Android
Macaulay Culkin looks like a heroin addict corpse Sunday, November 09, 2014 8:35:52 PMTwitter for Android
The only thing this city's good for is cleaning out your bank account Sunday, November 09, 2014 7:32:16 PMTwitter for Android
This city pisses me the fuck off Sunday, November 09, 2014 7:30:59 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew I meant topless
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, November 09, 2014 5:22:52 PMTwitter for Android
Wasted Sunday, November 09, 2014 5:22:10 PMTwitter for Android
Can we get like topmeas maids to clean the place @MalJNew? I mean, I saw a van for it so it must be legit, right? Sunday, November 09, 2014 5:05:15 PMTwitter for Android
I think I just got hit on by a dude. Sunday, November 09, 2014 3:44:09 PMTwitter for Android
Ok, now he's getting concerned Sunday, November 09, 2014 3:03:29 PMTwitter for Android
My boss is at brunch with me watching me get shitfaced before tonight's server maintenance Sunday, November 09, 2014 2:57:14 PMTwitter for Android
To summarize my Saturday, I ended up drumming on the dinner table with plastic chopsticks Sunday, November 09, 2014 2:49:36 PMTwitter for Android
By all means, play your cell phone games on full volume in this smelly, overheated, crowded train car. Sunday, November 09, 2014 1:43:31 PMTwitter for Android
RT @BarstoolJJ: I just spilled 6 shots of Jameo on a girl and she didn't flinch. She fucks Saturday, November 08, 2014 6:00:22 PMTwitter for Android
🎵🎶Alina's mom has got it going on 🎶🎵 Saturday, November 08, 2014 4:29:46 PMTwitter for Android
Flashing.... Lights Saturday, November 08, 2014 3:36:48 PMTwitter for Android
This bitch TSwift really needs to shut up about royalties and shit. Tired of seeing her everywhere. Friday, November 07, 2014 9:47:50 AMTwitter for Android
Welp, at least I got to nap longer because @MTA uses inferior equipment where they can't get the doors to close. #late #completefailure Friday, November 07, 2014 8:09:33 AMTwitter for Android
Now that I take Metro North once every other week or so, their on time performance is 0%. Always a problem. #mta #sucks Friday, November 07, 2014 7:48:19 AMTwitter for Android
@VerizonSupport No worries. Handled it.
In reply to @VerizonSupport's tweet
Friday, November 07, 2014 12:52:24 AMTwitter for Android
OMG just realized Sonic Highways comes out in 4 days Thursday, November 06, 2014 7:58:32 PMTwitter for Android
Release in two days? Its coo, you can find me over at the bar. Thursday, November 06, 2014 3:57:42 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu Simmons is devastated. #FreeSimmons
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Monday, November 03, 2014 3:04:28 PMTwitter for Android
It's rude that @MalJNew's Browns are better than the NY football Giants. Why is this even a thing? Monday, November 03, 2014 1:25:01 PMTwitter for Android
I just missed this shot. #cubceldapool http://t.co/Oaoa6zFgRY Sunday, November 02, 2014 10:29:09 PMTwitter for Android
Lollll Saturday, November 01, 2014 10:31:17 PMTwitter for Android
Omg. Heard this mashup playing unreal tournament in 2002 and couldn't find it since. So sick! https://t.co/KkUPnYTIx1 Saturday, November 01, 2014 10:02:40 PMTwitter for Android
The apples on my sangria right now are SUGAR Saturday, November 01, 2014 2:23:48 PMTwitter for Android
@portfolioso Dia de Los Muertos or whatever. They call it All Souls day or some shit if you're a holy Catholic.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, November 01, 2014 2:15:19 PMTwitter for Android
I was trying to txt someone "suck it" but instead I sent "stuck or" #drunkie Saturday, November 01, 2014 2:14:03 PMTwitter for Android
Sonic Highways last night was superb. Fuckin Dolly Parton, Zac Brown and Dave Grohl for the win. Saturday, November 01, 2014 2:09:16 PMTwitter for Android
Happy Mexican Sugar Skull Day (or whatever they call it) Saturday, November 01, 2014 1:39:15 PMTwitter for Android
@BarstoolJJ 's walk of shame tweets are killing me Saturday, November 01, 2014 1:34:39 PMTwitter for Android
F- Photoshop job by @NYDailyNews today on page 17 http://t.co/ZmokiMpGr3 Wednesday, October 29, 2014 2:28:39 PMTwitter for Android
I lost to @MalJNew in Who am I? on #QuizUp https://t.co/1BZCPw5qCp Monday, October 27, 2014 9:28:12 PMTwitter for Android
@XtinaSchelin they don't let you. Used to IMAP mail to Thunderbird and delete from there but that didn't work well
In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet
Monday, October 27, 2014 11:55:28 AMTwitter for Android
You have to be yourself or at least within confines Sunday, October 26, 2014 1:40:37 AMTwitter for Android
I think I may or may not have probably booked a 70s porn retreat for next weekend... Saturday, October 25, 2014 11:44:10 PMTwitter for Android
Shit I'm gettin hammered tonight Saturday, October 25, 2014 10:49:51 PMTwitter for Android
Happy birthday Mal's mom! Saturday, October 25, 2014 10:29:24 PMTwitter for Android