9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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Yo @MalJNew, can we have a threesome with that bartender? I think it's a valid request considering you stared at her ass longer than I did. Friday, February 27, 2015 3:41:48 PMTwitter for Android
"That's why I'm not a public relations person. Everyone can go fuck themselves." -Derick Thursday, February 26, 2015 7:01:48 PMTwitter for Android
The internet is out again @TWC_NYNJ @TWC @TWC_Help: congrats. Its gone down every day this week Tuesday, February 24, 2015 1:19:52 AMTwitter for Android
Yeah. Shut the fuck up. It's 10° blow me Monday, February 23, 2015 10:31:40 PMTwitter for Android
I love the gays. They give the best life advice ever. Monday, February 23, 2015 10:08:49 PMTwitter for Android
Eddie Murphy does not age Sunday, February 22, 2015 11:30:21 PMTwitter for Android
Nothing to look at, this Lady Gaga. Sounds iight though. Sunday, February 22, 2015 11:17:17 PMTwitter for Android
I lost my fucking metrocard Sunday, February 22, 2015 12:03:17 AMTwitter for Android
Nelly videos doe Saturday, February 21, 2015 8:50:39 PMTwitter for Android
Gotta piss like a racehorse Saturday, February 21, 2015 4:02:38 PMTwitter for Android
Bastards @TWC @TWC_NYNJ Friday, February 20, 2015 1:27:40 AMTwitter for Android
@TWC_Help @TWC_NYNJ fuck yourselves
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, February 20, 2015 1:12:10 AMTwitter for Android
I've got better shit to tweet about other than how my piece of shit third world time Warner goes out daily Friday, February 20, 2015 1:11:01 AMTwitter for Android
You cocksucker mother fuckin pieces of shit.DIE Friday, February 20, 2015 1:07:52 AMTwitter for Android
Fucking cancer of the internet @TWC_NYNJ Friday, February 20, 2015 1:06:49 AMTwitter for Android
I can't believe how cocksucking unreliable Time Warner @TWC is you fuck ups. How does an ISP have an outage daily Friday, February 20, 2015 1:06:25 AMTwitter for Android
Need @VerizonFiOS because Time Warner goes out ever fucking day Friday, February 20, 2015 1:05:43 AMTwitter for Android
Inferior cunts @TWC_NYNJ Friday, February 20, 2015 1:04:39 AMTwitter for Android
Fuckin third world country USA. Internet doesn't even work everyday day. @TWC_Help http://t.co/JSsw28MRhE Friday, February 20, 2015 1:03:51 AMTwitter for Android
Time Warner can fuckin blow me. A goat carrying a CD one mile in Iran is more reliable than this cuntish ISP Friday, February 20, 2015 1:03:15 AMTwitter for Android
For fucks sake. @TWC_Help @TWC_NYNJ is out again. Unreliable cunts. Out all day today and 4 days in a row Friday, February 20, 2015 1:01:19 AMTwitter for Android
@kerbear88 they got venture capital and went evil and now fuck em.
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Friday, February 20, 2015 12:12:27 AMTwitter for Android
@scoopandslam I felt slight hope with Cooley in our time. They should've won the MAAC in '11 or '12 but now woof
In reply to @scoopandslam's tweet
Friday, February 20, 2015 12:10:46 AMTwitter for Android
@scoopandslam shame
In reply to @scoopandslam's tweet
Thursday, February 19, 2015 9:21:50 PMTwitter for Android
I need Cone, Wells and O'Neill to replace that bumbling oaf Michael Kay on YES. Thursday, February 19, 2015 8:52:35 AMTwitter for Android
Really diggin Queens of the Stone Age right now. Wednesday, February 18, 2015 9:30:36 PMTwitter for Android
Everyone is actively walking like an asshole today and getting directly in my way Wednesday, February 18, 2015 9:02:57 AMTwitter for Android
Today's XKCD is brilliant http://t.co/4Ps7W9q1L3 Wednesday, February 18, 2015 2:58:17 AMTwitter for Android
Give us more than 2 minutes to figure out what track your inferior trains will leave from @GCT @MetroNorth Tuesday, February 17, 2015 6:34:23 PMTwitter for Android
I'm in utter shock that my Time Warner is still up. Surely this wind should have causes an outage by now Sunday, February 15, 2015 9:29:39 AMTwitter for Android
Hot party up in the projects. Walked by and they're blasting the Thong Song. Need an invite ASAP Saturday, February 14, 2015 8:37:32 PMTwitter for Android
@TWC_NYNJ still out. Fucking fix it Saturday, February 14, 2015 3:27:58 AMTwitter for Android
And why do I have a cold. Sniffly motherfucker with a weak assed immune system. Saturday, February 14, 2015 3:15:57 AMTwitter for Android
This is America. Not a third world country. The fuckin internet shouldn't go out every fucking day @TWC_NYNJ @TWC_Help fuck you I want fios Saturday, February 14, 2015 3:05:39 AMTwitter for Android
Explain to me why I should pay you this month when your shit is down all the time. @TWC_NYNJ Saturday, February 14, 2015 3:03:41 AMTwitter for Android
I had just about enough of @TWC_NYNJ's shit. Constant outages. What the fuck Saturday, February 14, 2015 3:01:25 AMTwitter for Android
When I lived in Westchester, I could count on one hand when FiOS had an outage in years. @TWC_NYNJ goes out every fuckin day. Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:59:33 AMTwitter for Android
I'm having a meltdown because my internet is out if you haven't noticed Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:44:40 AMTwitter for Android
Fucking assholes fix it @TWC_NYNJ http://t.co/xi7KIoXbvw Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:43:31 AMTwitter for Android
My fucking time warner is out again. Cuntish piece of shit internet service unreliable as fuck @TWC_NYNJ die Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:39:38 AMTwitter for Android
@TWC_NYNJ the fuck do I pay you for
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:38:32 AMTwitter for Android
@TWC_NYNJ fuck you and your 300 mbps internet because it never even connects so what's the point
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:37:00 AMTwitter for Android
@TWC_NYNJ you all suck at life
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:35:25 AMTwitter for Android
@TWC_NYNJ worst piece of shit ISP ever. @VerizonFiOS come to Queens
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:34:58 AMTwitter for Android
@TWC_NYNJ get your fucking shit together. Last time it was out you said it wasn't an issue hut then it fixed itself so it was you suck
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:34:09 AMTwitter for Android
Unreliable motherfuckers. Outage every god damn day. @TWC_NYNJ Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:33:03 AMTwitter for Android
Why does the internet go out every day? @TWC_NYNJ every fucking day it goes out you pieces of shit. I wish I had FiOS here Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:27:37 AMTwitter for Android
Protip: If you're in the hood in Queens and are white as fuck and don't want trouble, say "wha'sh p'appin" they will respect you. For real. Friday, February 13, 2015 11:56:17 PMTwitter for Android
108286 @ karaoke or else bust. Friday, February 13, 2015 9:45:53 PMTwitter for Android
When two girls leave before a dude in a single bathroom... That's fucked up Friday, February 13, 2015 9:26:07 PMTwitter for Android
Whoever is pissin in this bathroom needs to gtfo and let me piss because I'm more important. Friday, February 13, 2015 9:25:10 PMTwitter for Android
Ollwerther called me Joe Spanky for a reason Friday, February 13, 2015 9:23:00 PMTwitter for Android
The girlfriend just fed me an olive pit... I just. Thursday, February 12, 2015 10:02:23 PMTwitter for Android
I have no tolerance for anything right now. Everyone's getting punched in the face. Wednesday, February 11, 2015 7:08:23 PMTwitter for Android
Belligerently drunk Mexican sitting across from me. Everyone's afraid but I'll beat the fuck out of him if he tries anything bc I'm so mad Wednesday, February 11, 2015 6:44:53 PMTwitter for Android
Waited 10 mins for the next train for it to be stopped due to a sick customer and had to switch lines. Wednesday, February 11, 2015 6:42:40 PMTwitter for Android
On a complete rampage on the MTA right now. Wednesday, February 11, 2015 6:41:46 PMTwitter for Android
WILL YOU @NYCTSubway CUNTS FIX THE FUCKIN TURNSTYLES? BROADWAY/MAIDEN ENTRANCE @ FULTON ST 4/5? MISSED TRAIN B/C IT COULDN'T READ MY CARD Wednesday, February 11, 2015 6:39:58 PMTwitter for Android
@AnyConnect thanks for investigating. Glad you found a root cause. Didn't mean to yell, just frustrated today.
In reply to @AnyConnect's tweet
Wednesday, February 11, 2015 2:53:10 PMTwitter for Android
Beck is cool and shit but why weren't the foo fighters nominated for best rock album? Sunday, February 08, 2015 9:00:55 PMTwitter for Android
I just did an ass dance to ZZ Top in my pjs. I'm winning Saturday Saturday, February 07, 2015 2:19:10 PMTwitter for Android
Time Warner and their daily outages can severely suck it right now. You suck at life and I'll fuck your mother if I ever meet her. Friday, February 06, 2015 12:06:35 AMTwitter for Android
Fuckin time warner is down again. You guys can http://t.co/F1XMksCyJv Thursday, February 05, 2015 7:39:34 PMTwitter for Android
Triple dog dare you to go to Instagram and search for the hashtag #enlosjorts Wednesday, February 04, 2015 11:33:28 PMTwitter for Android
These dumb Time Warner jokers... You click support chat and they connect you to Texas billing. For fucks sake... http://t.co/LIrJfi2Lmt Tuesday, February 03, 2015 1:32:05 AMTwitter for Android
Every time there's a gentle breeze the fuckin internet goes out. The fuck do you assholes do, tape the wires up? @TWC_NYNJ Tuesday, February 03, 2015 12:13:19 AMTwitter for Android
Moto software is near stock and meanwhile Samsung's shitty touchwiz gets lollipop? Come on. Cuncel Android. I blame Verizon Monday, February 02, 2015 3:17:36 PMTwitter for Android
Absolute horseshit that Samsung's Galaxy S5 is beating @Motorola's gen 1 Moto X on @VerizonWireless to Lollipop. Monday, February 02, 2015 3:16:54 PMTwitter for Android
Stupid phone autocorrecting Pac Man to all caps. Idiot. Sunday, February 01, 2015 9:32:27 PMTwitter for Android
I'd pay mad skrilla to play in a human PAC man game. Bud Light knows how to advertise. And puppies. Sunday, February 01, 2015 9:31:05 PMTwitter for Android
RT @JFeitelberg: Katy Perry flying around Arizona on the goddamn "more you know" star Sunday, February 01, 2015 8:23:38 PMTwitter for Android
Missy Elliot straight up taking me back to my Hip Hop/ R&B bus in 7th grade. Times Sunday, February 01, 2015 8:22:40 PMTwitter for Android
My mom may or may not be lezzie for Katy Perry. Just throwing that out there. Sunday, February 01, 2015 7:29:51 PMTwitter for Android
@BarstoolJJ Yes. She Italian? Pretty normal
In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet
Saturday, January 24, 2015 9:35:05 PMTwitter for Android
Time warner is down. Here's the part where I connect my hotspot to my router and see if the failover works Thursday, January 22, 2015 10:21:48 PMTwitter for Android
Overheard on the 4/5: "Remember that time we got drunk in Astoria and went to Victoria's Secret" Freddy's ready to bang Thursday, January 22, 2015 9:47:30 PMTwitter for Android
Stein: "I accidentally merged my whole C: drive into the repo" Jesus Christ. Thursday, January 22, 2015 9:03:15 PMTwitter for Android
Get a load of this Parkinson's assed conductor trying to rob me by clicking two slots on my ticket... #MTA http://t.co/Y8MCokJVzz Wednesday, January 21, 2015 8:22:13 AMTwitter for Android
Let me be perfectly clear, news... I don't give a single fuck about Michelle Obama's SOTU outfit. This is why we're a second world country Wednesday, January 21, 2015 8:13:49 AMTwitter for Android
Live hand-in-hand
And together we'll stand
On the threshold of a dream.... 		Monday, January 19, 2015 10:53:21 PMTwitter for Android
My boy and I are a couple degenerates http://t.co/U5AvHS8aID Tuesday, January 13, 2015 8:44:40 PMTwitter for Android
Useless cocksucking meeting Tuesday, January 13, 2015 1:17:29 PMTwitter for Android
I'm live tweeting a marching band. I need to reevaluate my life Monday, January 12, 2015 10:31:57 PMTwitter for Android
Someone tackle Dorothy Monday, January 12, 2015 10:31:24 PMTwitter for Android
Is anyone watching this game right now? Put on ESPN. This wizard of oz shit is killing me Monday, January 12, 2015 10:30:06 PMTwitter for Android
That's a frumpy assed Dorothy. Monday, January 12, 2015 10:29:20 PMTwitter for Android
This is a terrible Wizard of Oz Monday, January 12, 2015 10:28:51 PMTwitter for Android
Ohhhh the wizard of oz. . why'd the camera say zo? Lol they reversed it Monday, January 12, 2015 10:28:34 PMTwitter for Android
Marching bands are silly Monday, January 12, 2015 10:25:55 PMTwitter for Android
Just got screamed at by a rabid Chinese food delivery guy. Sunday, January 11, 2015 12:27:20 PMTwitter for Android
Stewie and Brian are wasted Sunday, January 11, 2015 10:09:57 AMTwitter for Android
The Ravens are murderers Saturday, January 10, 2015 4:54:31 PMTwitter for Android
Someone's blazing the most at this Irish pub Saturday, January 10, 2015 3:53:52 PMTwitter for Android
What. It's a beer you sick fucks. Saturday, January 10, 2015 3:33:53 PMTwitter for Android
Ryan's daughter's going down real smooth you guys Saturday, January 10, 2015 3:33:36 PMTwitter for Android
Eating raw green peppers are surprisingly satisfying right now. DAT crunch. I'm a cray Saturday, January 10, 2015 7:41:46 AMTwitter for Android
I do not yield to assholes on the sidewalk looking at their phones and walking left. Will plow into them and throw 'bows Friday, January 09, 2015 1:59:43 PMTwitter for Android
Also, if you bring a stroller on a train or subway at rush hour, you're a poor. And inconsiderate. Friday, January 09, 2015 8:13:33 AMTwitter for Android
Dear #MTA. Thanks for making me wait longer on the cold because your 70s trains can't handle a half inch of snow you assholes. Friday, January 09, 2015 8:11:35 AMTwitter for Android
Wrap scarves are silly pieces of shit. How am I supposed to tighten it around my face? Friday, January 09, 2015 8:05:05 AMTwitter for Android