9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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@mustang_sarah Anyone reposting this bogus social virus should be banned from the internet forever
In reply to @mustang_sarah's tweet
Wednesday, January 07, 2015 7:33:16 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu Photoshop me more Axelrod wallpaper
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Wednesday, January 07, 2015 12:45:33 AMTwitter for Android
Bros. Turn off the heat here. Wasting energy. Its global warming out duh Sunday, January 04, 2015 7:16:37 PMTwitter for Android
Heat's on like 5 hundo in LaGuardia. I know why, but its not politically correct to say here. Sunday, January 04, 2015 7:11:39 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew I know mine isn't. There's no such thing as interference from cell phones
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, January 04, 2015 5:38:12 PMTwitter for Android
This flight attendant is a straight up G Sunday, January 04, 2015 5:37:25 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew put your phone in airplane mode joker. You're going to make us crash. Sunday, January 04, 2015 5:36:38 PMTwitter for Android
There's a fucking cat in this plane. Sunday, January 04, 2015 5:35:50 PMTwitter for Android
🎵Amen.... It was the feast or the famine🎵 Sunday, January 04, 2015 5:26:56 PMTwitter for Android
@googlenexus When will I get 5.0.2 OTA for my 2012 Nexus 7? USB broke so I can't flash. Lollipop beyond crippled it. So slow, it's useless. Saturday, January 03, 2015 9:20:57 PMTwitter for Android
I think I just convinced a golden retriever I'm not shitfaced. Because she larrrrvvved mee when I got home. Saturday, January 03, 2015 2:48:34 AMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ I thought it was 3:30 but the car clock keeps going ahead an hour for Jo reason Saturday, January 03, 2015 2:47:49 AMTwitter for Android
Mambo Number Five Saturday, January 03, 2015 2:24:01 AMTwitter for Android
I want Fun Dip so badly right now Saturday, January 03, 2015 2:10:00 AMTwitter for Android
Now I get how the Native Americans stayed warm Saturday, January 03, 2015 1:36:02 AMTwitter for Android
This is my style Saturday, January 03, 2015 1:05:48 AMTwitter for Android
Best part is the beer stays cold Saturday, January 03, 2015 12:56:06 AMTwitter for Android
What's better than drinking around a fire outside when its 28. Yeahhh buddy Saturday, January 03, 2015 12:16:01 AMTwitter for Android
My girl plays better music than your girl Friday, January 02, 2015 1:41:28 PMTwitter for Android
The Foo Fighters' NYC concert is on Alt Nation on Sirius. Brb while I start crying because I wasn't there. Thursday, January 01, 2015 3:29:42 PMTwitter for Android
2015 off to a rough start. 3 hr drive w/ a messed up stomach from drinking. I'm warm. Wearing a beater and look like a cray. Also gotta poop Thursday, January 01, 2015 2:29:25 PMTwitter for Android
Cuncel DA food. When you aren't in the greatest city in the world, nothing's open. #newyork #Pittsburgh Thursday, January 01, 2015 2:08:25 AMTwitter for Android
Hands are for shakin.' Not tyin' Thursday, January 01, 2015 1:23:27 AMTwitter for Android Tablets
Getting hammered in Pittsburgh for NYE. Wednesday, December 31, 2014 6:31:33 PMTwitter for Android Tablets
Heading to Fork and Fingers, this hole in the wall Mexican place in Nowhere, Ohio. One marg gets you wasted. No lie. Tuesday, December 30, 2014 6:29:21 PMTwitter for Android
@Waspito I HATE when new leadership takes over and and they know it all. Happened to me. Sux
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Tuesday, December 30, 2014 12:19:59 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck this guy. Throw him down a fuckin garbage chute and break his neck http://t.co/xDV3LyXaYt Monday, December 29, 2014 11:31:48 PMTwitter for Android
bout time Twitter fixed the Android login issues. Monday, December 29, 2014 1:31:38 AMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew Missed the playoffs already bro
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Sunday, December 28, 2014 1:45:12 PMTwitter for Android
Just caught myself fist pumping to Amber This is Your Night. It's 2AM and I'm alone. I'm not sorry about it. Sunday, December 28, 2014 2:11:38 AMTwitter for Android
Get a load of this antique doing the weather on News 12 the hood... I mean Bronx http://t.co/OrfvK5g3t0 Saturday, December 27, 2014 7:24:09 PMTwitter for Android
Sweet tits is an excellent nickname Friday, December 26, 2014 12:21:41 AMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew Bella will give you a ride home and stop by Taco Bell on the way. ⚡⚡
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Friday, December 26, 2014 12:07:43 AMTwitter for Android
@Lessard_Eric Merry Christmas! You in London or come back here? Either way, hope it was awesome!
In reply to @Lessard_Eric's tweet
Thursday, December 25, 2014 11:51:21 PMTwitter for Android
@XtinaSchelin was going to suggest that
In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet
Thursday, December 25, 2014 7:01:48 PMTwitter for Android
Picking dog shit out of the grooves of my shoes. Not and ideal way to spend my Christmas Eve Wednesday, December 24, 2014 10:44:02 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu You'd get along well with my mom
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Wednesday, December 24, 2014 10:34:25 PMTwitter for Android
Back in the office... Broke the seal already. Tuesday, December 23, 2014 3:23:34 PMTwitter for Android
These beers are going down way too smooth Tuesday, December 23, 2014 2:19:50 PMTwitter for Android
Get a load of this cunt who doesn't say thanks when you hold the door Monday, December 22, 2014 2:53:04 PMTwitter for Android
Wouldn't kill them to lower the heat on this train. Absurd. Monday, December 22, 2014 8:34:03 AMTwitter for Android
I'm addicted to this damn Family Guy game. I set my alarm for 4am to battle the Yeti Monday, December 22, 2014 12:47:37 AMTwitter for Android
60 on Christmas Eve and 50s the next day? Fuck this global warming assed shit. Its supposed to snow on Christmas. Horse shit. Sunday, December 21, 2014 10:55:50 PMTwitter for Android
In the tamiflu commercial where the guy oversized, the mini thermometer looks like he's smoking a joint. I was so confused. Sunday, December 21, 2014 9:39:14 PMTwitter for Android
Hone Alone is on. No one bother me. Sunday, December 21, 2014 8:39:12 PMTwitter for Android
I don't think I heard anyone say cunt more times in one day since my 2010 drunk tweets. Saturday, December 20, 2014 7:25:25 PMTwitter for Android
RT @KFCBarstool: 2 NYPD cops working overtime on anti terrorism get shot execution style as "revenge" for Eric Garner. Most fucked up logic… Saturday, December 20, 2014 6:18:47 PMTwitter for Android
RT @Dave_Jets: I pretty much give up on society at this point. Saturday, December 20, 2014 6:18:41 PMTwitter for Android
If you live in fear, you're an asshole Saturday, December 20, 2014 1:54:22 AMTwitter for Android
Brobama coming in strong lately. Didn't give a shit about him but now we're chillin with Cuba and he called Sony an asshole. Ok by me. Saturday, December 20, 2014 1:37:09 AMTwitter for Android
PS - Fuck Sony and their pussy assed ways. And asshole suits who negotiate with terrorists Saturday, December 20, 2014 1:25:48 AMTwitter for Android
Ya. Because the update bricked it.... "Google publishes Android 5.0.2 factory image for Nexus 7 (2012)" http://t.co/xsbbMS72Uh Saturday, December 20, 2014 1:22:35 AMTwitter for Android
@RockNationRadio You were one of them
In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet
Friday, December 19, 2014 2:17:36 PMTwitter for Android
Opened my fridge. Found some Surge and Budweiser. Wednesday, December 17, 2014 12:45:54 AMTwitter for Android
Dat time you have unexpected leftover pizza after drinking doe. 🙌 Wednesday, December 17, 2014 12:21:55 AMTwitter for Android
DJ Bro: You can't play Pony at the Holiday party without peeps trying to fuck on the dance floor. Facts is facts Tuesday, December 16, 2014 10:33:54 PMTwitter for Android
So if I put my empty drink on the reserved for Kosher table, that makes it Kosher, right? Tuesday, December 16, 2014 9:48:32 PMTwitter for Android
Stop sucking the CTO's dick. Guys a jokeshow Tuesday, December 16, 2014 9:39:56 PMTwitter for Android
God DAMN it.. I really need to stop confusing Stephie with other peeps. Like the 9th time I did it. Tuesday, December 16, 2014 9:04:08 PMTwitter for Android
Great job on the 6 pixel low res infographic ya morons. Because I can really read this.... @washingtonpost http://t.co/wY5BqeU6ff Tuesday, December 16, 2014 7:43:02 AMTwitter for Android
The train is on time today and I look like a suit. What is this world coming to? Tuesday, December 16, 2014 7:39:27 AMTwitter for Android
I might accidentally talk in a Jamaican accent today Monday, December 15, 2014 7:23:37 AMTwitter for Android
When it's 8:30 and you have a hangover.. That blows Sunday, December 14, 2014 8:38:04 PMTwitter for Android
I'm ordering fat ass food for my fat ass belly Sunday, December 14, 2014 8:06:47 PMTwitter for Android
See bullshit. Freddy is all about this broad once I set him straight
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, December 14, 2014 7:10:41 PMTwitter for Android
Not that there's anything wrong with that Sunday, December 14, 2014 7:05:53 PMTwitter for Android
In my career, just realized I slapped 2 out of 3 of my bosses asses. No homo. Sunday, December 14, 2014 7:05:27 PMTwitter for Android
Freddy told me he wasn't diggin the bartender, but he's still trying to bang her Sunday, December 14, 2014 6:50:19 PMTwitter for Android
If Vinny plays Rosanna or Oh Sherrie or any other Vagina song just one more time, I might yack. Sunday, December 14, 2014 6:28:56 PMTwitter for Android
Cuncel da karaoke if these dudes are gonna sing lady music and put me to sleep Sunday, December 14, 2014 5:14:08 PMTwitter for Android
Bro. If you're gonna sing Whiney Houston, I'm straight up taking a nap Sunday, December 14, 2014 4:38:59 PMTwitter for Android
Cuncel Johnny Football Sunday, December 14, 2014 3:48:39 PMTwitter for Android
My boy Pat is having a boy's day. Wifey's gone. Someone get this guy a leash Sunday, December 14, 2014 3:28:54 PMTwitter for Android
Just found out I'm hammered Sunday, December 14, 2014 3:27:49 PMTwitter for Android
🎵Should've been dead on a Sunday morning 🎵 Sunday, December 14, 2014 3:25:23 PMTwitter for Android
I know I'm a real fat fuck when I was trying to eat a chicken sandwich and bit my finger instead at full force Sunday, December 14, 2014 3:23:59 PMTwitter for Android
The GF may or may not sing Creed at karaoke in honor of that dude losing his mind 😏 Sunday, December 14, 2014 3:17:10 PMTwitter for Android
Seal broken before I even got to the bar. Woof Sunday, December 14, 2014 2:05:15 PMTwitter for Android
Digging the Internet Explorer store in Astoria http://t.co/UnGSiMh6uZ Sunday, December 14, 2014 2:03:44 PMTwitter for Android
Its not the size of the table that matters. It's the amount of data you can fit in it. Sunday, December 14, 2014 1:54:53 PMTwitter for Android
At this rate, I'll be hammered before the unlimited boozy brunch... Sunday, December 14, 2014 11:36:23 AMTwitter for Android
In a cab. The guy on 99.5 right now is the cheesiest. Bro no one cares about whatever lip you're flappin. Straight up babbling Saturday, December 13, 2014 1:25:48 AMTwitter for Android
Stein: "10pm we can go to a rave" Me: "Stein. It's 12:15" Stein: "Yeah. 10 pm to 8am" Saturday, December 13, 2014 12:17:12 AMTwitter for Android
Stein forgot about Dre Friday, December 12, 2014 11:38:40 PMTwitter for Android
Joe Stein: "You can't scuff up someone's shoes in their own house" Friday, December 12, 2014 11:13:42 PMTwitter for Android
GF just burped beer in my face. Sexy. Friday, December 12, 2014 10:32:24 PMTwitter for Android
What's my motha fuckin name? Friday, December 12, 2014 12:06:06 AMTwitter for Android
Ja Rule Friday, December 12, 2014 12:01:23 AMTwitter for Android
"What a great thing to say to a senior vice president. Eat a dick. Have you considered eating a dick?" Thursday, December 11, 2014 11:53:55 PMTwitter for Android
Mal. You can't make meat pasta that tastes like my grandma's. Rude and awesome at the same time. Thursday, December 11, 2014 11:36:25 PMTwitter for Android
Where the fuck is the r train cunts Thursday, December 11, 2014 7:56:06 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck you cunts @mta Thursday, December 11, 2014 7:53:22 PMTwitter for Android
Just realized I only had a 200 calorie dark chocolate bar for lunch. No wonder this huge IPA is doing its job (to make everything suck less) Thursday, December 11, 2014 5:42:57 PMTwitter for Android
Actual question: What kind of MOron pushes on a shitter stall door without checking for feet under it first? Tuesday, December 09, 2014 3:57:35 PMTwitter for Android
Within the past 20 mins, there were 4 empty Manhattan bound n/q/r trains and one Queens train, jammed. @mta you fucking fare hiking idiots Monday, December 08, 2014 8:09:33 PMTwitter for Android
Ah fuck it. MTA can do this every time, on the grounds that it's free (trying to be positive lol) Monday, December 08, 2014 8:36:40 AMTwitter for Android
Trying to think of ways I can fuck over the MTA for inconveniencing me Monday, December 08, 2014 8:25:27 AMTwitter for Android
Its so crowded the conductor can't even walk through Monday, December 08, 2014 8:14:30 AMTwitter for Android
I'm not paying for this cocksucker train. Arrest me. You can't just show up late and run an inferior train and expect me to pay $15 Monday, December 08, 2014 8:14:02 AMTwitter for Android
What the fuck is this shit. 10 mins late and the run a train 4 cars short. Shit is packed worse than a subway car #mta #metronorth Monday, December 08, 2014 8:13:26 AMTwitter for Android