Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit



9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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Tweet Date Source
It's raining, its pouring.... Let's drink. Saturday, May 14, 2011 10:14:40 PMTwitter for Android
Such a great ass. Oh. My. God. Saturday, May 14, 2011 3:15:08 AMTwitter for Android
GIVE ME MY CANDY CANE! Saturday, May 14, 2011 1:32:33 AMTwitter for Android
Mmm candy canes Saturday, May 14, 2011 1:02:51 AMTwitter for Android
Haha Lenny Kravitz is here Saturday, May 14, 2011 12:53:41 AMTwitter for Android
Oops. Just elbowed Aunt Jemima. Saturday, May 14, 2011 12:04:02 AMTwitter for Android
The only reason why I would ever go to a bar called Tom Tom is to honor @tomwcleary Friday, May 13, 2011 11:50:32 PMTwitter for Android
@scoopANDslam bro... do not tell me that's the new policy at Yankee Stadium...
In reply to @scoopANDslam's tweet
 Friday, May 13, 2011 8:17:52 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ, the yankees fuckin suck Friday, May 13, 2011 8:14:39 PMTwitter for Android
Once I break this seal, I'm fucked... Friday, May 13, 2011 8:06:06 PMTwitter for Android
why the fuck are we watching hanna montana right now? Friday, May 13, 2011 1:00:02 AMTwitter for Android
@scoopANDslam Should have used WordPress
In reply to @scoopANDslam's tweet
 Thursday, May 12, 2011 8:40:55 PMTwitter for Android
This fuckin team might as well have lost in the 9th instead of wasting my time with a cocktease failed comeback Wednesday, May 11, 2011 11:41:57 PMTwitter for Android
Damn right they tied it. Soria couldn't throw a strike for dick and his fastball was only 83mph. If they lost, it would have been sickening. Wednesday, May 11, 2011 11:15:17 PMTwitter for Android
At this rate, Jeter is so useless he won't even get his 3000th hit this season. Wednesday, May 11, 2011 11:10:42 PMTwitter for Android
This random, no name minor league stiff Buddy Carlyle can go fuck himself, because he's pathetic. Way to blow the game asshole. Wednesday, May 11, 2011 11:02:05 PMTwitter for Android
This is the nanciest, frutiest beer I've ever had in my life. Tuesday, May 10, 2011 4:08:22 PMTwitter for Android
Sales girl is literally wearing the shortest ass shorts I've ever seen before. Hot. I probably didn't make eye contact with her before. Oops Tuesday, May 10, 2011 3:35:56 PMTwitter for Android
I always get the shitty apples. This one tastes and is drier than a cotton ball Tuesday, May 10, 2011 1:17:17 PMTwitter for Android
#myfirstpc Packard Bell Force 447CD 75mhz pentium, 8mb of ram, 1mb video card, 2 2x cd drives, 1gb harddrive. Windows 3.1 Monday, May 09, 2011 10:47:32 PMTwitter for Android
These pussy ass programmers get all offended at my bug reports when I say something sucks... fuck that. If I say it sucks, it sucks Monday, May 09, 2011 1:31:23 PMTwitter for Android
Why are all theae stupid sickly motherfuckees around me on this train sneezing, sniffling and coughing. Gross. Monday, May 09, 2011 8:58:20 AMTwitter for Android
Why the fuck am I sober? Saturday, May 07, 2011 11:58:32 PMTwitter for Android
Because of my discernment, I guarantee you she fucked someone last night and isn't telling me. :-\ (gross) Saturday, May 07, 2011 11:02:35 PMTwitter for Android
Probably one of the most delicious carrots I've ever eaten in my life Saturday, May 07, 2011 9:38:35 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck these microscopic beer bottles. Fuck am I supposed to get drunk off of that wussy shit? Saturday, May 07, 2011 9:28:44 PMTwitter for Android
My plan for this wedding... get shitfaced and do work on this smokebomb in the bridal party. Saturday, May 07, 2011 7:21:34 PMTwitter for Android
90s techno on a party bus.... lovin life. Saturday, May 07, 2011 5:03:54 PMTwitter for Android
Welp, nice to know these headphones I bought block out screaming mothers. She's been yelling for 5 minutes and I couldn't hear her. Saturday, May 07, 2011 10:33:30 AMTwitter for Android
What the hell is wrong with me? Saturday, May 07, 2011 9:49:29 AMTwitter for Android
Yeah... they like drinking here. I'll take it Thursday, May 05, 2011 6:44:57 PMTwitter for Android
"It sounds just normal for a tech startup to hang a piƱata from a usb cable and an ethernet cable..." Thursday, May 05, 2011 5:22:12 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella F schoolwork. Drink. Its only the end of senior year once in your life.
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
 Thursday, May 05, 2011 4:04:42 PMTwitter for Android
F this bar for giving me a mets glass... http://t.co/KR2SvlD Thursday, May 05, 2011 3:17:28 PMTwitter for Android
Aiight bin laden is dead. Lets go to the bar. Sunday, May 01, 2011 11:59:37 PMTwitter for Android
Some ass posted a fb virus link on my wall. I'm not at a comp. Why can't I delete it from the android app or mobile site? fucking zuckerberg Sunday, May 01, 2011 10:41:28 PMTwitter for Android
Just beat solitaire with a deck of cards. Don't think I've ever done that before... Sunday, May 01, 2011 8:26:30 PMTwitter for Android
Time to go biking again Sunday, May 01, 2011 11:46:58 AMTwitter for Android
I'm bored Saturday, April 30, 2011 8:54:05 PMTwitter for Android
The ass on this one... Saturday, April 30, 2011 2:46:13 PMTwitter for Android
Omg! Omg! Royal Wedding I'm gonna cum! Friday, April 29, 2011 8:34:02 AMTwitter for Android
God damnit. Why do these fucking northbound trains keep coming in on the southbound track? You know how inconvenient that is for me? Tuesday, April 26, 2011 11:54:20 PMTwitter for Android
Alexey: "you can find tasty species in each race" Tuesday, April 26, 2011 9:31:24 PMTwitter for Android
This fuckin place really has heat lamps on right now? Tuesday, April 26, 2011 7:35:33 PMTwitter for Android
This heat can suck it so hard Tuesday, April 26, 2011 4:41:39 PMTwitter for Android
Get the fuck away from my desk you old pain in the balls. I just got in and got attacked. Tuesday, April 26, 2011 9:49:44 AMTwitter for Android
RT @dannyrob88: Sitting on this shitty,ass train w @portfolioso ... He looks like a fag Monday, April 25, 2011 10:41:24 PMTwitter for Android
Maybe the MTA should, you know, remove the 4 dead rats all over the 23rd st 6 platform.... Monday, April 25, 2011 11:12:07 AMTwitter for Android
@plasma2002 same thing in New Jersey. Totally crazy
In reply to @plasma2002's tweet
 Sunday, April 24, 2011 4:14:41 PMTwitter for Android
Italians make me so fat... And this is just the first dish. Nom. Happy Easter! http://t.co/hACHj1V Sunday, April 24, 2011 2:52:28 PMTwitter for Android
If the MTA were a person right now, I'd probably be going to prison for bloody murder Friday, April 22, 2011 8:38:52 PMTwitter for Android
This bartender has quite the amazing ass. Thursday, April 21, 2011 2:50:01 PMTwitter for Android
@tomwcleary @SumthinEclectic letao better have caching enabled or the site'll fold under the traffic. Too bad I'm at the bar& can't hlp him Wednesday, April 20, 2011 10:31:34 PMTwitter for Android
I can tell. Right away Wednesday, April 20, 2011 7:59:01 PMTwitter for Android
Mother fucking android text message bug was supposed to be fixed in frg83g but clearly was not Wednesday, April 20, 2011 7:23:07 PMTwitter for Android
I even get cockblocked in my sleep. I just can't win. Wednesday, April 20, 2011 9:46:24 AMTwitter for Android
@tomwcleary its bridgeport, TC... no one in their right mind would waste time bombing Bridgeport. No need...
In reply to @tomwcleary's tweet
 Monday, April 18, 2011 5:47:24 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 Firefox 4 is wonderful
In reply to @ky9's tweet
 Monday, April 18, 2011 5:02:14 PMTwitter for Android
Is this guy fuckin for real? There's a dude wading in this fountain collecting coins... guess the market is down today. Monday, April 18, 2011 5:01:39 PMTwitter for Android
I highly appreciate receiving texts asking "where's my spankingggg" Sunday, April 17, 2011 2:15:14 PMTwitter for Android
Bronxville sluts.... hot Saturday, April 16, 2011 1:53:04 AMTwitter for Android
Thanks for the 4/16 fourquare day points......... not Saturday, April 16, 2011 1:02:35 AMTwitter for Android
@nyJULZmd nice ass ringo
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
 Friday, April 15, 2011 11:41:24 PMTwitter for Android
@Frankalankster you are at such a shitty place. I'm with a bunch of bombshells.
In reply to @HowFrankOfYou's tweet
 Friday, April 15, 2011 11:39:44 PMTwitter for Android
Ahhh shit. Got into the habit of abusing my coworkers' asses me style.... winning Friday, April 15, 2011 10:45:50 PMTwitter for Android
I'd do anything to this waitress Friday, April 15, 2011 4:02:25 PMTwitter for Android
@Frankalankster wasting light
In reply to @HowFrankOfYou's tweet
 Friday, April 15, 2011 12:22:28 PMTwitter for Android
Just had one of those Keystone always smooth moments with the hot CA support girl... Thursday, April 14, 2011 1:30:34 PMTwitter for Android
@dannyrob88 fuck off I know its been out for a while. I don't have time to blog about things instantly :-)
In reply to @Billyjune88's tweet
 Thursday, April 14, 2011 12:20:29 PMTwitter for Android
Is it really wise to rollerblade on the subway platform? What a dumbass. Wednesday, April 13, 2011 7:16:27 PMTwitter for Android
Any time someone new starts, don't put them in the cube diagonally from me. Stop with the questions... I can't get a god damn thing done Wednesday, April 13, 2011 6:39:26 PMTwitter for Android
I need potato sacks for the train ride home. Bunch of smokes next to me Monday, April 11, 2011 7:51:46 PMTwitter for Android
I am so addicted to the Foo Fighters' new album. Its total amazing Monday, April 11, 2011 12:23:17 PMTwitter for Android
@askmeques @MrHazel Those prices seem normal to me... Come to New York, then complain about high prices=)
In reply to @mustang_sarah's tweet
 Sunday, April 10, 2011 9:02:15 PMTwitter for Android
@kerbear88 it was decent. Not the best I've seen but it wasn't terrible Sunday, April 10, 2011 12:07:41 PMTwitter for Android
I'm gonna pound beers, get shitty, go to the dizzy dolphin and find sluts Saturday, April 09, 2011 11:46:45 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin jersey, pumping gas for me... guy is changing shifts. I don't have time for this. I'd be out of here already Saturday, April 09, 2011 3:01:28 PMTwitter for Android
Omg!!! Gimmie! So perfect Saturday, April 09, 2011 1:57:59 AMTwitter for Android
Lol just cheated lent. Went to wendys after 12 am. W.e tho. christ doesn't kno w the difference between fridays and saturdays #fucking joke Saturday, April 09, 2011 1:12:21 AMTwitter for Android
This is bothering me. Is is abnormal Friday, April 08, 2011 11:04:36 PMTwitter for Android
Why is a slut by herself at the bar right now. That's not allowed. Friday, April 08, 2011 10:52:37 PMTwitter for Android
@dannyrob88 frusciante's the shit
In reply to @Billyjune88's tweet
 Friday, April 08, 2011 10:42:46 PMTwitter for Android
Mother fucker. My coworkers just beat me in mother fuckin beer pong Friday, April 08, 2011 10:41:50 PMTwitter for Android
Yeah.. if I blow less than a G this weekend I'm good... Friday, April 08, 2011 9:29:44 PMTwitter for Android
@Frankalankster too dark my camera phone sux. Sry. Plus I'd look like a creeper
In reply to @HowFrankOfYou's tweet
 Friday, April 08, 2011 9:27:49 PMTwitter for Android
There is a table here of like 7 of the hottest girls I've ever seen in my life no joke. God damn Friday, April 08, 2011 9:02:25 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin knew the sox would get their first win off the Yanks. I just sensed it. Plus hughes is choking on cocks this season. Friday, April 08, 2011 5:10:57 PMTwitter for Android
Left work again to watch the game... legit Friday, April 08, 2011 3:42:23 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck it. Checking... out Thursday, April 07, 2011 4:22:28 PMTwitter for Android
Debating whether or not to check in to this bar mid workday... bc like 3 of my bosses follow me Thursday, April 07, 2011 3:37:23 PMTwitter for Android
Pure wifey material... jesus christ. Thursday, April 07, 2011 1:02:58 PMTwitter for Android
Piece of shit useless investment I own... Just got my quarterly dividend of $8.33. I'm loaded now... Thursday, April 07, 2011 10:13:35 AMTwitter for Android
Hahaha. The mets are bad. Wednesday, April 06, 2011 8:10:22 PMTwitter for Android
This slut chelsea on dancing with the stars doesn't even have to dance. Full marks for the outfit. Monday, April 04, 2011 8:23:25 PMTwitter for Android
Why are there no fucking trains leaving grand central? For fucks sake... Monday, April 04, 2011 7:20:01 PMTwitter for Android
If the entire office smells like an amazing quesadilla burger, that would be me. You are now jealous Monday, April 04, 2011 12:49:37 PMTwitter for Android
Then they wonder why I hit the bottle... Sunday, April 03, 2011 2:19:55 AMTwitter for Android
I'm such an alcoholic, I break the seal before I start drinking. Saturday, April 02, 2011 10:54:27 PMTwitter for Android
Just pissed like a racehorse Saturday, April 02, 2011 1:48:22 AMTwitter for Android
This guy Bob is a fuckin G Saturday, April 02, 2011 1:29:21 AMTwitter for Android
My dad: "oo college softball. More interesting than the Mets" Friday, April 01, 2011 8:37:58 PMTwitter for Android
I'll take onebof those. K thx. Friday, April 01, 2011 7:48:54 PMTwitter for Android
Ok who's the dick... http://t.co/JfYpRau Friday, April 01, 2011 10:03:33 AMTwitter for Android
Decided to play the same angry birds level over again. Got 3,000 higher score beeshes. I can't lose tonight. Thursday, March 31, 2011 9:09:26 PMTwitter for Android
Anothee one! Thursday, March 31, 2011 9:06:15 PMTwitter for Android
Considering this one is wearing dick wrecking boots, i'd tap that... Thursday, March 31, 2011 8:45:31 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck yeah angry birds. Level 8-3. One hit, 126,000 points. 3 stars bitches. Thursday, March 31, 2011 8:38:19 PMTwitter for Android
Why is this cocksucking train so crowded Thursday, March 31, 2011 8:31:38 PMTwitter for Android
What the hell are we havig an earthquake? Thursday, March 31, 2011 5:54:21 PMTwitter for Android
I'd rather be iin the Bronx right now... Thursday, March 31, 2011 1:39:02 PMTwitter for Android
They're trying to get me to configure IIS in german... so lost... Thursday, March 31, 2011 11:42:53 AMTwitter for Android
@ShavingFoams I know exactly where libya is. Same shit.
In reply to @ShavingFoams's tweet
 Tuesday, March 29, 2011 3:55:49 PMTwitter for Android
Picture me carying a big giant box and unlocking the door with my access card in my shirt pocket by shoving my chest into the reader. Awk.. Tuesday, March 29, 2011 3:55:04 PMTwitter for Android
@Waspito bro, that update came out like two months ago. Way to be with the times
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
 Monday, March 28, 2011 7:45:30 PMTwitter for Android
God damn right you're gonna smile at me sweetie. I'm that hot Monday, March 28, 2011 7:01:16 PMTwitter for Android
Enough... so lame. Sunday, March 27, 2011 1:08:01 AMTwitter for Android
Just completely unplugged everything in my room #EarthHour Saturday, March 26, 2011 8:33:50 PMTwitter for Android
Multiple higher ups from work now follow me on foursquare. This probably isn't good (*packs bags*) Friday, March 25, 2011 12:25:26 AMTwitter for Android
Aww poor duke cheerleeder all sad after her team lost. So hot. I'll cheer you up slut. Friday, March 25, 2011 12:01:30 AMTwitter for Android
Omg threesome with those two sales girls please? Thursday, March 24, 2011 8:58:58 PMTwitter for Android
The Russian after taking a shot of Vodka: "wtf is this. is like water" Thursday, March 24, 2011 7:56:26 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck. Everyones goin to the bar and left without me because I had to take a shit. Thursday, March 24, 2011 6:57:34 PMTwitter for Android
Mother fucking cock sucking slutbreath Wednesday, March 23, 2011 9:06:45 PMTwitter for Android
Just looked in the mirror. I'd do me. Tuesday, March 22, 2011 4:37:36 PMTwitter for Android
I really don't understand how its possible for someone to be that fucking perfect. Don't work here. The talent agency is downstairs Monday, March 21, 2011 3:30:25 PMTwitter for Android
Happy spring. Now enjoy your snow. Monday, March 21, 2011 8:35:58 AMTwitter for Android
@SumthinEclectic Right now, yes. Its legit fast. But I don't like htc sense. Im waiting for others.
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
 Sunday, March 20, 2011 7:40:41 PMTwitter for Android
Lol. Train held up by some drunk bitch. Cop escort. Fuckin drunk train.... Saturday, March 19, 2011 2:10:32 AMTwitter for Android
Lol. Think i just scared the hot bitch with the droid 1 sittin next to me away on the train. Fml. I didn't do shit. Lol fuckin last train. Saturday, March 19, 2011 2:07:24 AMTwitter for Android
I love my sisterrr Saturday, March 19, 2011 12:44:48 AMTwitter for Android
Old man straight up killing it on the dance floor... legit Friday, March 18, 2011 10:29:29 PMTwitter for Android
I'd totes be down for a threesome with those sisters.... Friday, March 18, 2011 10:16:25 PMTwitter for Android
"He's an Apple fanboy but he just whipped out his Zune and android phone" Dude.... you can't dig out of this one. Friday, March 18, 2011 8:26:08 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking alcoholism. As much as I'd rather stay out, I must get going to prove that im not a drunkard to someone... Thursday, March 17, 2011 8:25:59 PMTwitter for Android
@peso_de_fuego Wasn't joking. Saw it with my own eyes.
In reply to @peso_de_fuego's tweet
 Thursday, March 17, 2011 5:09:08 PMTwitter for Android
Whaaaaaa. VP of marketing just showed me his Verizon Thunderbolt 4G. It got 10mbps down. I shit you not. Thursday, March 17, 2011 4:02:35 PMTwitter for Android
On a brighter note, there's a smoke over there eating grapes. I'd feed the shit out of her like arod. Thursday, March 17, 2011 8:58:13 AMTwitter for Android
This is fucking bullshit. Pretty sure a year ago right now I was drunk by now. Now I'm a sardine. Thursday, March 17, 2011 8:56:42 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck the fucking MTA for running short trains on days where fucking more people travel to NYC Thursday, March 17, 2011 8:55:04 AMTwitter for Android
Roasty toasty here in NY. 56 degrees? Almost spring. Wednesday, March 16, 2011 4:35:52 PMTwitter for Android
Dear Asisans on the train. Shut the fuck up, you're disturbing the peace and quiet Wednesday, March 16, 2011 9:18:30 AMTwitter for Android
Nevermind. Christ that almost gave me a heart attack. Woo go stags Tuesday, March 15, 2011 11:01:50 PMTwitter for Android
Fuuuuuuck looks like needham just lost the game for the stags Tuesday, March 15, 2011 10:59:34 PMTwitter for Android
Gave up alcohol for lent. Then started shaking. God doesn't want me sick, right? Heading out drinking. ENJOYYYY Saturday, March 12, 2011 9:49:05 PMTwitter for Android
Someone needs to get this support girl out of CA and to NY. And into my potato sack Friday, March 11, 2011 5:45:19 PMTwitter for Android
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa... my router is off... how the fuck am I networked on a LAN? Friday, March 11, 2011 2:28:35 AMTwitter for Android
NOOOOO. Mike Starr :( Wednesday, March 09, 2011 10:40:33 AMTwitter for Android
Omg these Russians.... I think I'm still drunk. Can't. Handle them... Wednesday, March 09, 2011 7:40:22 AMTwitter for Android
Be restful. Use JSON, not SOAP Tuesday, March 08, 2011 10:03:51 PMTwitter for Android
@kerbear88 exactly!
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
 Tuesday, March 08, 2011 9:20:03 PMTwitter for Android
Oh my... I M. Not going to makw it with these russians and rheir vodka... Tuesday, March 08, 2011 8:22:19 PMTwitter for Android
Figures. The Russians just whipped out the biggest bottle of vodka I've ever seen post work Tuesday, March 08, 2011 7:27:16 PMTwitter for Android
#winning Sunday, March 06, 2011 4:06:39 AMTwitter for Android
#winning http://t.co/7UK403V Saturday, March 05, 2011 8:28:44 PMTwitter for Android
RT @tomwcleary: Stags .... winning. #maac Saturday, March 05, 2011 7:15:46 PMTwitter for Android
Great asses on the Marist dance team... Find me at the Holiday Inn rm 520. #winning Saturday, March 05, 2011 6:55:09 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin. Double standard Saturday, March 05, 2011 12:55:22 AMTwitter for Android
It's not that my alcoholism returned this weekend, it's just that I'm winning... Saturday, March 05, 2011 12:28:58 AMTwitter for Android
Yeah... road beers.... Saturday, March 05, 2011 12:21:07 AMTwitter for Android
This is gonna get shitsky :-) Friday, March 04, 2011 9:20:51 PMTwitter for Android
After borrowing and using the work iPod touch for the past week, I honestly like Android better than iOS... Thursday, March 03, 2011 2:28:34 AMTwitter for Android
I'll take one of those... Wednesday, March 02, 2011 7:50:23 PMTwitter for Android
@SumthinEclectic I made friends with my IT guy. He knew if he didn't I'd be an abuser. Smart man. Also gave me admin or else... lol
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
 Monday, February 28, 2011 9:25:38 PMTwitter for Android
Kind of hard to do work at a cloud based software company if your internet is 56k and i get a 2000ms ping to google. So I'm boycotting work Monday, February 28, 2011 10:25:50 AMTwitter for Android
Happy Monday! Nice that our office has 200kbps internet. Fuckin internet is faster in the Maldives.... Monday, February 28, 2011 10:01:58 AMTwitter for Android
Ryan Rossiter looks like a rat goofball Friday, February 25, 2011 8:36:36 PMTwitter for Android
@SumthinEclectic just puked a little
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
 Tuesday, February 22, 2011 4:06:52 PMTwitter for Android
Not in a good mood right now. Sick, tons of shit to do and they took the ipod touch back. Tuesday, February 22, 2011 11:33:00 AMTwitter for Android
'You know how dey do that at the black church' Saturday, February 19, 2011 11:05:11 PMTwitter for Android
@scoopANDslam did I miss something? Did Twitter block Twidroyd?
In reply to @scoopANDslam's tweet
 Saturday, February 19, 2011 10:39:21 AMTwitter for Android
These bread guys in the a&p are fuckin hysterical. Saturday, February 19, 2011 10:37:23 AMTwitter for Android
Holy shit. Shake shack line is like 2 miles long Friday, February 18, 2011 5:32:46 PMTwitter for Android
Its like 60 outside. Roasty toasty. If I don't see naked asses out in the park, I'll complain loudly. Friday, February 18, 2011 2:22:27 PMTwitter for Android
She brought it. Thats how I roll Thursday, February 17, 2011 7:42:21 PMTwitter for Android
I just sent this slut out to bring me a 40. If she didn't I'm going to cockslap her. Thursday, February 17, 2011 6:14:34 PMTwitter for Android
This confirms my theory that all women are whores. Thursday, February 17, 2011 5:55:57 PMTwitter for Android
Fuuuuuuuuck back at work. Can I drink more pls? Thursday, February 17, 2011 5:17:00 PMTwitter for Android
Cowworker texts me she's at lunch and needs help with her bartab. I bolted my office. Thursday, February 17, 2011 4:29:57 PMTwitter for Android
I love it when Raul from downstairs just strolls up and hands me money from football bets I did't remember winning. I can get used to this. Thursday, February 17, 2011 12:01:09 PMTwitter for Android
This ugly ass asian's ginormous dome is blocking my view of the hot redhead Wednesday, February 16, 2011 7:45:07 PMTwitter for Android
I'm onsite with a client. I'd totally ruin this lifeguard. Sooooo hot. Wednesday, February 16, 2011 10:33:59 AMTwitter for Android
If Android existed back in the days of the Pipe and Cane High Society Club... http://t.co/ktqxRL8 Tuesday, February 15, 2011 11:16:17 PMTwitter for Android
Just Androidified myself. He's so cute. http://t.co/5KXOcSm Tuesday, February 15, 2011 9:10:18 AMTwitter for Android
Pw is "lol" no quotes. Really secure. Not even funny, but its about work Monday, February 14, 2011 7:53:15 PMTwitter for Android
Txt/pm me for the pw so i don't get fired Monday, February 14, 2011 5:36:45 PMTwitter for Android
How wet are all those sluts standing behind bieber right now? Sunday, February 13, 2011 9:07:47 PMTwitter for Android
I'm actually watching the Grammys with an 89 year old baller. His commenrs are priceless Sunday, February 13, 2011 8:08:26 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus christ. Someone put a sock in Christina Agulera's socket. Sounds like a dude. Sunday, February 13, 2011 8:05:40 PMTwitter for Android
New twitter for android fuckin sucks. The pull down refresh needs to be pulled down too far before it refreshes. Not responsive enough. Sunday, February 13, 2011 1:22:10 AMTwitter for Android
It's a bad version of chris cornell Saturday, February 12, 2011 9:01:46 PMTwitter for Android
Actually I take that back... Saturday, February 12, 2011 8:33:19 PMTwitter for Android
Bro... bro... its not even 9am and there's a guy drinking on the train. The f mang? Friday, February 11, 2011 8:52:31 AMTwitter for Android
One day, it'll snow on the equator... Friday, February 11, 2011 2:12:12 AMTwitter for Android
Yup.. get home at 2am... leave for work at 8am... I am so not used to partying... Friday, February 11, 2011 2:00:24 AMTwitter for Android
Such a bunch of bullshit. Id bet every penny i own she blew the fuck o... welp he just walked out she had to Friday, February 11, 2011 1:39:42 AMTwitter for Android
Is this serious? There's like... a slut jerking off the train conductor in the conductor booth right now... I just awk'd them out... Friday, February 11, 2011 1:20:15 AMTwitter for Android
Fears and lies for answers. You and open flames. God knows I'm gone. I just want you to come on down Friday, February 11, 2011 12:58:04 AMTwitter for Android
I feel for you sweetie... the classic third wheel. Poor thing. Friday, February 11, 2011 12:51:47 AMTwitter for Android
In a good way Thursday, February 10, 2011 10:17:43 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin.... fuck my life. Thursday, February 10, 2011 10:16:54 PMTwitter for Android
I like California girls with Androids Thursday, February 10, 2011 9:55:53 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus fucking christ with this android text messaging bug..... not only did I wrongly text my dad, but thy all deleted themselves. Fuck. Thursday, February 10, 2011 9:47:50 PMTwitter for Android
Just realized: from an outsiders point of view, my twitter is borderline disgusting Thursday, February 10, 2011 10:21:38 AMTwitter for Android
Glad my mom bought this shit for me... someone cares.... that being said im goin to plow the cali girl tomorrow http://t.co/y9fPHhs Thursday, February 10, 2011 1:39:58 AMTwitter for Android
Fucking new york... irvington and rivington sts? Really? Can't be more original? Poor dyslexics Thursday, February 10, 2011 1:01:09 AMTwitter for Android
Doesn't matter... Wednesday, February 09, 2011 11:25:59 PMTwitter for Android
My lifes awesome....... but fuckin..... awful timing Wednesday, February 09, 2011 11:17:23 PMTwitter for Android
Whyyyy do you live in California fml Wednesday, February 09, 2011 10:15:21 PMTwitter for Android
Oh god I'm in the middle of fuckin nowhere. I might not make it home tonight Wednesday, February 09, 2011 10:12:03 PMTwitter for Android
Homo drink... Wednesday, February 09, 2011 9:53:33 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck... just got caught looking and called out hard for it. Its like im fuckin 12... Wednesday, February 09, 2011 6:19:26 PMTwitter for Android
Yea, the boss isnt pleased with my one hr meeting about nothing aka just to hang with the CA office. I told him to enjoyyy Wednesday, February 09, 2011 4:07:30 PMTwitter for Android
This girl on the train is legit licking and deep throating this beer bottle Tuesday, February 08, 2011 7:57:07 PMTwitter for Android
Can I swap our NY support staff with our Cali support staff? Sooo much hotter. Tuesday, February 08, 2011 4:19:14 PMTwitter for Android
Omg.. so hot Tuesday, February 08, 2011 3:38:53 PMTwitter for Android
Yeah im getting fuckin fired this week, especially if we're all going out drinking. Monday, February 07, 2011 12:01:34 PMTwitter for Android
Wanted: Threesome with the smokes that came in to NY from the Cali office. Monday, February 07, 2011 11:43:40 AMTwitter for Android
........gonna end up a big ol' pile of them bones Monday, February 07, 2011 2:02:55 AMTwitter for Android
Ah fuck off Justin Bieber. Just for that, Best Buy loses my business... (not that I go there anyway... Newegg, sons) Sunday, February 06, 2011 8:39:05 PMTwitter for Android
@Colithika Yeah slash was the shit.
In reply to @Colithika's tweet
 Sunday, February 06, 2011 8:23:56 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking cocksuckers Pittsburgh. With that touchdown, my boss just stole the halftime box I would have won. Fucker owes me drinks all week. Sunday, February 06, 2011 7:59:16 PMTwitter for Android
The dude sending the flowers with the nice rack message... Totes me. Sunday, February 06, 2011 7:29:03 PMTwitter for Android
I'll tell you one thing... If Google's Superbowl commercial is as pussy ass as last years, I'm gonna kill a kitten Sunday, February 06, 2011 6:58:53 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ, Christina Agulera grew a dick... Sings the national anthem like a man, and fucked the lyrics up. Sad. Sunday, February 06, 2011 6:23:46 PMTwitter for Android
Wonderful... Just when the hot Californians are coming in to the NY office this week, my nose is swolen and disfigured. Great Sunday, February 06, 2011 2:35:44 PMTwitter for Android
You don't go up to a Mexican in the produce section and say you won't buy basil bc it's from Mexico and you'll get sick. Christ. Sunday, February 06, 2011 11:09:44 AMTwitter for Android
Fuckin shame..... Saturday, February 05, 2011 8:37:50 PMTwitter for Android
Yorel, you dog, hogging the dunks Friday, February 04, 2011 10:29:57 PMTwitter for Android
THAT ASS Thursday, February 03, 2011 11:23:02 AMTwitter for Android
Back to back smokestacks. Dayum Wednesday, February 02, 2011 7:15:16 PMTwitter for Android
You know... train broken down in frwont if us and nnow we're going in the opposite direction for two stops. No big deal. Wednesday, February 02, 2011 9:30:42 AMTwitter for Android
Fucking MTA... Im sitting on a broken down train in the middle of a fuckin tunnel Tuesday, February 01, 2011 7:42:11 PMTwitter for Android
Worked here for 6 months... Finally got a bathroom key Tuesday, February 01, 2011 3:46:12 PMTwitter for Android
I am battling these fuckers at work bc I insist on using css3 rounded corners and they want to keep xrounded panel & load images. F'in waste Tuesday, February 01, 2011 12:52:37 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking cuntish MTA. Can this train be any shorter. Let's just run rush hour trains with 5 cars Monday, January 31, 2011 8:54:00 AMTwitter for Android
Holy fucking shit. Ive never seen a hot train conductor before. Ummm I forgot my ticket. Punish me O:) Saturday, January 29, 2011 8:40:25 PMTwitter for Android
@ShavingFoams you god damn right
In reply to @ShavingFoams's tweet
 Saturday, January 29, 2011 6:30:21 PMTwitter for Android
Sluts.... Saturday, January 29, 2011 6:26:06 PMTwitter for Android
This hyperactive little Mexican needs to shut the fuck up on this train bc I can't hear the smokes phone convo. Legit needs a gag... Saturday, January 29, 2011 1:45:51 PMTwitter for Android
I want to potato sack the smoke sitting two seats in front of me on this train Saturday, January 29, 2011 1:22:12 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking New Haven line.... stalled ass train clogging up my tunnels Friday, January 28, 2011 7:47:54 PMTwitter for Android
I shit you not, I have a client named Mehboob... lol Friday, January 28, 2011 11:43:15 AMTwitter for Android
Jesus fucking christ with these fire alarms Friday, January 28, 2011 11:40:26 AMTwitter for Android
RT @Colithika: i want to get drunk xP Wednesday, January 26, 2011 10:25:51 PMTwitter for Android
Cop in Grand Central stopped me because I look like a terrorist. Lovin this 6degree weather. http://twitpic.com/3t1bl4 Monday, January 24, 2011 11:55:02 AMTwitter for Android
Toasty outside: http://twitpic.com/3szqf2 Monday, January 24, 2011 8:33:52 AMTwitter for Android
Watchin Nat Geo... proof 9/11 was a controlled demolition. No shit. Finally some real analysis on tv other than zeitgeist and loose change Sunday, January 23, 2011 1:39:47 PMTwitter for Android
Just put the Android 2.3 theme and Nexus S live wallpaper on my Droid 1. So fuckin pimp. I can pretend to have a newer phone now Sunday, January 23, 2011 1:32:59 PMTwitter for Android
Damn.. Saturday, January 22, 2011 7:36:00 PMTwitter for Android
Maybe the fact that I am home editing apache config files on a fri night explains why I don't.. ah fuck it, my life sucks Saturday, January 22, 2011 12:41:28 AMTwitter for Android

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