9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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RT @DadBoner: I'm outta here. Weekend don't start 'til you flip work the bird and pull outta the parkin' lot on Friday. Math lesson: My ... Friday, April 27, 2012 8:51:24 PMTwitter for Android
This waitress is like... unreal. You don't even understand. Friday, April 27, 2012 1:56:54 PMTwitter for Android
well I take back my complaints, bc our app was the fastest tested and it was a cool web talk. Thursday, April 26, 2012 11:09:22 PMTwitter for Android
The get the fuck off my team: Phil Hughes edition... fuckin guys going to shit quicker than Joba. Thursday, April 26, 2012 12:50:49 AMTwitter for Android
I swear this dude is my favorite. If I wasn't into women, I might have had to go gay. Wednesday, April 25, 2012 8:49:02 PMTwitter for Android
I can't take this meeting seriously on the grounds that I would hook up with everyone here. Don't tell HR, people who follow me on here.... Wednesday, April 25, 2012 5:09:28 PMTwitter for Android
Oh great. These fuckin occupy wall St hippies made it to Union Square Wednesday, April 25, 2012 2:52:44 PMTwitter for Android
Wagner, stop biting your lip. Its driving me insane. It might make me do something that'll get me fired. Wednesday, April 25, 2012 11:45:42 AMTwitter for Android
I know the fuckin guy 35 years, I'm gonna whack him for you? Wednesday, April 25, 2012 12:34:05 AMTwitter for Android
Welp, looks like I confused Vietnamese and Thai. My b. Corrected myself before getting called out, like a boss. Tuesday, April 24, 2012 8:00:59 PMTwitter for Android
This loud Asian screaming away on her phone is probably the sole reason why they invented quiet cars on this train. Tuesday, April 24, 2012 7:18:10 PMTwitter for Android
Would be nice if the cocksucker next to me didn't have the fuckin plague. Tuesday, April 24, 2012 8:11:17 AMTwitter for Android
Although as cold as it is, this ones smokin. Dibs. Tuesday, April 24, 2012 8:06:57 AMTwitter for Android
Fahkin cold this morning. Tuesday, April 24, 2012 8:00:30 AMTwitter for Android
@L8to89 kind of. Asshole.
In reply to @L8to89's tweet
Monday, April 23, 2012 8:45:40 PMTwitter for Android
The piece of shit buggy Galaxy Nexus radio picks up signal just about as well as I picked up chicks in high school. Monday, April 23, 2012 8:23:39 PMTwitter for Android
So Aubrey... Are those things real? Sunday, April 22, 2012 10:31:25 PMTwitter for Android
Aubrey is an absolute moron on the celebrity apprentice. That being said, she's got some rack. Sunday, April 22, 2012 10:01:41 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella bang bang bang. It'll get rid of that in two seconds. Hhh
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Sunday, April 22, 2012 7:12:22 PMTwitter for Android
"She wasn't gonna clean his ass for nothing..." Sunday, April 22, 2012 6:54:29 PMTwitter for Android
RT @Colithika: pirates of dark water is amazing Sunday, April 22, 2012 6:01:36 PMTwitter for Android
#joecefolitweets ain't got shit on #frankfiorettitweets Sunday, April 22, 2012 11:27:07 AMTwitter for Android
This is some bullshit #NYR Saturday, April 21, 2012 9:50:32 PMTwitter for Android
These beers are going down way too slow you guys Saturday, April 21, 2012 9:33:26 PMTwitter for Android
@kellyomealia by bad... you mean completely awesome, right.
In reply to @kellyomealia's tweet
Saturday, April 21, 2012 9:29:38 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella call the waaaambulance! Wahh no 4 or 5 trains!
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Saturday, April 21, 2012 9:24:25 PMTwitter for Android
@kerbear88 @kellyomealia come on, you guys. I mean I know my tweets are ridiculous, but are they really that ridiculous? Saturday, April 21, 2012 9:08:05 PMTwitter for Android
Is this chick fat or preggo? Can't tell. My judgment is off tonight. Saturday, April 21, 2012 9:00:12 PMTwitter for Android
Debating if this chick is a lesbian or not. I mean. She's with a chick who's a dude, but shes cute and doesn't seem like one. Saturday, April 21, 2012 8:15:19 PMTwitter for Android
If sean isn't at hamachi, I'll be pissed Saturday, April 21, 2012 6:35:09 PMTwitter for Android
@RockNationRadio is out drinking me right now. The fuck... Saturday, April 21, 2012 5:47:23 PMTwitter for Android
@Colithika how about ya stop spamming my twitter feed with Tumblr photos? Saturday, April 21, 2012 2:47:40 PMTwitter for Android
The local assed train ... Saturday, April 21, 2012 2:26:49 AMTwitter for Android
Derick is Brooklyn and ghetto and legit. Friday, April 20, 2012 9:51:52 PMTwitter for Android
@ShavingFoams @Novellabella TOUCHE
In reply to @ShavingFoams's tweet
Friday, April 20, 2012 1:52:29 AMTwitter for Android
The smokes are out in full force tonight. Out of control Thursday, April 19, 2012 10:52:40 PMTwitter for Android
@nyJULZmd: blow me. @ky9: yeah... makes sense. I get where you're coming from Thursday, April 19, 2012 10:24:21 PMTwitter for Android
The 90s music at this bar... im obsessed. that's it. I'm giving up on life and becoming an alcoholic here Thursday, April 19, 2012 9:16:18 PMTwitter for Android
This might actually be animal cruelty, which isn't cool. But hey. .. I mean.. dogs gotta go wild sometimes too, ya know? Thursday, April 19, 2012 8:30:03 PMTwitter for Android
This doggie at the bar is shitfaced right now. Dudes keep buying him shots. Thursday, April 19, 2012 8:29:11 PMTwitter for Android
Seriously, who would eat bar peanuts. People like spit in their hands, sneeze, wipe their asses. Then grab some. Nast Thursday, April 19, 2012 8:13:28 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu remember when @kevinrose was awesome with the dark tip on the screen savers? Then he turned into an apple fan boy working for google
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Wednesday, April 18, 2012 3:32:58 PMTwitter for Android
Give this fucking kid an ambien Tuesday, April 17, 2012 7:01:20 PMTwitter for Android
See this is why I can't have kids. I'd be like. "Speak English ya little mother fucker. Cut this babble shit out you're like 4" Tuesday, April 17, 2012 6:59:44 PMTwitter for Android
I'm going to murder this child Tuesday, April 17, 2012 6:58:15 PMTwitter for Android
I'm trying to sleep on this train and this little shit kid is standing up on the seat in front of me, yelling at things out the window Tuesday, April 17, 2012 6:48:51 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu @GadsdenMarc Believe it or not, Joomla is a lot worse...
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Monday, April 16, 2012 11:47:59 PMTwitter for Android
This Phil's Steaks girl is ridiculous right now. Monday, April 16, 2012 1:38:28 PMTwitter for Android
All these cocksuckers need to go back on vacation. No seats on this bitch ass train. Monday, April 16, 2012 8:09:14 AMTwitter for Android
I can draw pimp assed unicorns: http://t.co/ZLPh0oS Monday, April 16, 2012 1:36:27 AMTwitter for Android
I don't think you understand the magnitude of the man crush i have on Dave Robertson... Sunday, April 15, 2012 10:47:28 PMTwitter for Android
Didn't get to have any loco d'reets today. Bunch of bullshit Saturday, April 14, 2012 2:13:04 AMTwitter for Android
The mother fuckin purple ass. Holy shit. Its prime Friday, April 13, 2012 11:58:11 PMTwitter for Android
"Them playas is fuckin'" Friday, April 13, 2012 10:37:55 PMTwitter for Android
"Dazzz why you say what you sayyy" -D Money. Friday, April 13, 2012 9:39:40 PMTwitter for Android
That's a tax shot! Friday, April 13, 2012 9:38:11 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu speaking of Linux I have a cloud server running a nessus scan using 6 gigs of bandwidth that my boss told me to shut off that I didnt
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Friday, April 13, 2012 9:31:06 PMTwitter for Android
"You're not a tax doin' fuckin person." -Derick Friday, April 13, 2012 9:29:24 PMTwitter for Android
Almost fell asleep standing up on the subway. Started to collapse, woke up and made a weird jerky motion. Nice Thursday, April 12, 2012 7:28:47 PMTwitter for Android
RT @DEVOPS_BORAT: After 3 beer I can able use any of cloud API. Thursday, April 12, 2012 6:47:14 PMTwitter for Android
You know.... just a homeless dude blow drying his socks in the Grand Central bathrooms. NBD Thursday, April 12, 2012 6:45:52 PMTwitter for Android
There are some fucking whackjobs on this train. Real winners. Singing out loud, making ridic comments. Jeez Wednesday, April 11, 2012 10:38:45 PMTwitter for Android
This show is killing me. Tuesday, April 10, 2012 11:18:53 PMTwitter for Android
Mama's boys of the Bronx is fuckin hysterical Tuesday, April 10, 2012 11:08:07 PMTwitter for Android
I must find Donald Trump's assistant Amanda and potato sack her. Tuesday, April 10, 2012 12:22:02 AMTwitter for Android
@nyJULZmd I will not fear your dog. Your dog is obsessed with me.
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
Monday, April 09, 2012 8:18:42 PMTwitter for Android
RT @DadBoner: It's days like these, when I realize that some people don't like me, they can get a fat middle finger in their face. Hard ... Sunday, April 08, 2012 5:15:52 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew how do you know. I thought you'd be passed out by now.
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Sunday, April 08, 2012 3:37:57 PMTwitter for Android
@mich_amore I mean... I'd like your instagram pic, but someone hasn't accepted my follow request.
In reply to @mich_amore's tweet
Sunday, April 08, 2012 12:59:50 PMTwitter for Android
I've come to the conclusion that my twitter is the most ridiculous thing in existence Saturday, April 07, 2012 12:56:02 PMTwitter for Android
Asian kid: y u do linear algebra on the drunk train home Saturday, April 07, 2012 1:00:51 AMTwitter for Android
Once again , fuck the MTA in the ass. Not only is this a short ass train to begin with, but they have 4 cars closed off for no reason. Saturday, April 07, 2012 12:54:11 AMTwitter for Android
These two are banging tonight. So hard. I can tell Friday, April 06, 2012 11:19:52 PMTwitter for Android
Oh mikey. Dude will never steer me wrong. Love that bro. I need a permanent gay to help me out with the fuckin women. Friday, April 06, 2012 8:47:41 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella fuckin joker
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Friday, April 06, 2012 8:40:13 PMTwitter for Android
@nyJULZmd not a fan? Come over and hang with me instead
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
Friday, April 06, 2012 8:39:50 PMTwitter for Android
Christina is my favorite lesbian of all time. Id marry her every time in a game of marry fuck kill every day of the week and twice on sunday Friday, April 06, 2012 7:57:03 PMTwitter for Android
@dannyrob88 suck it
In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet
Friday, April 06, 2012 7:32:28 PMTwitter for Android
fuck the yes network for not hiring jenny dell Friday, April 06, 2012 6:33:35 PMTwitter for Android
Dave Robertson.... God damn it. Stop sucking it if you want to ever replace Mo. I would've been gay for you but you have 2 men on 0 out. Smd Friday, April 06, 2012 6:23:49 PMTwitter for Android
Opening day! Friday, April 06, 2012 3:20:37 PMTwitter for Android
my socks have the Portfolioso logo on them. Haaaaa http://t.co/sNwyUVr Thursday, April 05, 2012 11:51:13 PMTwitter for Android
According to Elise, Jesus was stoned to death. Lawlz Thursday, April 05, 2012 7:43:23 PMTwitter for Android
Had a dream that I had a threesome at my boss' house and he was pissed at me. Thursday, April 05, 2012 8:10:23 AMTwitter for Android
So is drinking out of a glass jar with a straw through a hole drilled in the lid supposed to be cool these days? F'in hipsters. Thursday, April 05, 2012 8:08:25 AMTwitter for Android
Whoa... Since when is it Thursday? Where'd this week go? Thursday, April 05, 2012 2:50:01 AMTwitter for Android
I love how I get stuck on a train next to a guy with a shit ass. Theres also sewer problems here. Wednesday, April 04, 2012 7:06:44 PMTwitter for Android
Oh the MTA is just winning for two weeks straight. 4/5 delays, 7million people and now signal problems. Worthless Wednesday, April 04, 2012 7:05:29 PMTwitter for Android
Whoever keeps shitting their pants on this train... Fucking stop it. Wednesday, April 04, 2012 6:58:11 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 if course I would get it instantly. Now I can be like those hipster Apple fanboy photographer wannabes
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Tuesday, April 03, 2012 7:17:58 PMTwitter for Android
This lenscrafters girl is a certified smokeshow Tuesday, April 03, 2012 3:05:37 PMTwitter for Android
RT @DadBoner: When you josh around about puttin your quarters in a another man's lady bank, be prepared to have your mind destroyed, man ... Tuesday, April 03, 2012 12:28:14 AMTwitter for Android
RT @DEVOPS_BORAT: In devops we are never assign blame, we are just try of find out how the fuck it happen. Monday, April 02, 2012 11:36:49 PMTwitter for Android
No winder this depressing ass place is closing shame Monday, April 02, 2012 8:32:46 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew: "it smells like a swimming pool when I sneeze and I kinda like it" Monday, April 02, 2012 7:04:26 PMTwitter for Android
Yeah two pitchers of bud heavy in like 20 mins. Rough Monday, April 02, 2012 6:49:47 PMTwitter for Android
I guess I'll go to a last min andrew wk concert Monday, April 02, 2012 6:39:39 PMTwitter for Android
@VtotheFlo ironic of you to retweet that. Don't you brag about how classy you are nonstop? Sunday, April 01, 2012 9:20:16 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella Just... no comment. I could go anywhere with that one.
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Sunday, April 01, 2012 4:23:39 PMTwitter for Android
My twitter... jeez Saturday, March 31, 2012 1:47:44 PMTwitter for Android
But I'm into others though..m hahahah Friday, March 30, 2012 10:30:36 PMTwitter for Android
I would have slapped Elise's ass so hard but she's on to me... gotta keep a low profile. Even though she likes it. Friday, March 30, 2012 10:30:01 PMTwitter for Android
Marry fuck kill with Lennon and Niraj is fuckin classic Friday, March 30, 2012 9:18:14 PMTwitter for Android
I mean. She's a cool dude. But shed fall apart like a book of matches Friday, March 30, 2012 9:15:40 PMTwitter for Android
Those right there are what they call dick wrecking boots Friday, March 30, 2012 9:08:19 AMTwitter for Android
This old bag on the train is bragging about how he partied in South Beach last week. Nasty Friday, March 30, 2012 8:08:19 AMTwitter for Android
Dude on the train has a shiny new ultrabook and his IT morons downgraded it to Win XP. What a waste. Monday, March 26, 2012 8:06:22 AMTwitter for Android
Draw Something: y u cause kernel panics and force reboot my phone? Monday, March 26, 2012 8:02:33 AMTwitter for Android
Holy shit! A Panera opened in Manhattan? It's about time! Sunday, March 25, 2012 11:23:40 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella There are no notifications in that app
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Sunday, March 25, 2012 11:20:28 PMTwitter for Android
No wonder haymitch hits the bottle. If I were in his sitch, I'd be an alcoholic mess myself too, not that I aren't already Sunday, March 25, 2012 3:13:48 AMTwitter for Android
If u were him I'd be out my mind nonstop Sunday, March 25, 2012 12:50:23 AMTwitter for Android
No wonder haymitch is a mother fuckin alcoholic Sunday, March 25, 2012 12:49:40 AMTwitter for Android
Peppermint schnapps? Tastes like Christmas?! Saturday, March 24, 2012 11:39:43 PMTwitter for Android
Keith to me about lessard: "Ask him who won the Superbowl, then take tour dick out." Saturday, March 24, 2012 10:53:19 PMTwitter for Android
The other gay thinks my flawless logic is fine. Shit... who's right? Saturday, March 24, 2012 5:28:45 PMTwitter for Android
@nyJULZmd cum to NYC and drink with me all day
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
Saturday, March 24, 2012 4:46:26 PMTwitter for Android
I'm all about the yellow Saturday, March 24, 2012 4:41:25 PMTwitter for Android
Okayyyyyyy. One gay thinks my flawless logic is flawed... time to ask another Saturday, March 24, 2012 4:18:54 PMTwitter for Android
This: http://t.co/l4PZEu9 Saturday, March 24, 2012 3:27:05 PMTwitter for Android
So when is Katniss gonna get Eiffel towered by Gale and Peeta? Saturday, March 24, 2012 3:04:27 PMTwitter for Android
These Fordham girls on this train are out of control Saturday, March 24, 2012 12:31:09 PMTwitter for Android
I need this dudes moves. Mad swag. Get mad bitches. Friday, March 23, 2012 11:11:31 PMTwitter for Android
Yeah. So about this jello shot girl. Friday, March 23, 2012 11:02:39 PMTwitter for Android
"You've got a girlfriend." "Doesn't mean I can't eat popcorn from her titties" Friday, March 23, 2012 10:37:07 PMTwitter for Android
I have discernment. Whenever I suspect something, its 100% true Friday, March 23, 2012 9:53:37 PMTwitter for Android
This band is NOT covering pearl jam. This is sick Friday, March 23, 2012 9:45:50 PMTwitter for Android
I'd bet my dick and both balls that I'm going to lose internet between crestwood and scarsdale Wednesday, March 21, 2012 9:34:30 PMTwitter for Android
@tomwcleary's twitter: pretty much sums up how much of a shithole Bridgeport is. Wednesday, March 21, 2012 12:33:32 AMTwitter for Android
RT @DEVOPS_BORAT: In devops we are always have quiet celebration when server is come back up after reboot. Monday, March 19, 2012 3:47:22 PMTwitter for Android
RT @ElBloombito: Mucho warmo en el outsideo. Go ridero un bicycleo (pero only on el patho del bikero y el streeto. No el sidewalk!) Monday, March 19, 2012 3:47:06 PMTwitter for Android
City is absolutely mobbed Saturday, March 17, 2012 11:27:35 AMTwitter for Android
why Saturday, March 17, 2012 12:32:37 AMTwitter for Android
My boss is still at the bar with us... lolz Saturday, March 17, 2012 12:15:36 AMTwitter for Android
Piece of hair in your mouth.... omg. Take me home Saturday, March 17, 2012 12:14:36 AMTwitter for Android
Oh and I'd bang either girl on the swung right now... pref a threesome. hhhhhh Friday, March 16, 2012 11:33:13 PMTwitter for Android
Idk who bit my nip but all's I know is that I need to take a body shot off of elise Friday, March 16, 2012 11:32:20 PMTwitter for Android
Bahahahah pussy assed bouncer kept thinking I'd fall off the swing on the bar..... guy doesn't know my upper body swag Friday, March 16, 2012 11:25:32 PMTwitter for Android
god damn it @MalJNew stop getting lipstick on my boss... guy is a classy gentlemen. Fuckin homewrecker... doesn't even cheat. Bunch of bs Friday, March 16, 2012 11:05:14 PMTwitter for Android
Sooooo. When I'm Sam's age.... I Better be as much of a baller as he is... wife and all... total baller. Struttin that ass. Friday, March 16, 2012 10:35:25 PMTwitter for Android
Elise is fucking wild. I'm into this. I'm gonna dance on the bar with her later.... Friday, March 16, 2012 9:07:33 PMTwitter for Android
Also @MalJNew just heard the phrase "shit happens when you party naked" for the first time tonight. I remember when I was 17. Friday, March 16, 2012 8:06:18 PMTwitter for Android
I mean... hot Irish tap dancers on the bar aren't terrible right now Friday, March 16, 2012 8:04:45 PMTwitter for Android
SO TRUE: @DEVOPS_BORAT: Almost finish new command line utility 'gtfo' for roll out cloud instance quick. Thursday, March 15, 2012 6:58:38 PMTwitter for Android
RT @ElBloombito: Cuidado! Los Ides de Marcho! Thursday, March 15, 2012 1:00:02 AMTwitter for Android
@kellyomealia @scoopANDslam you both play too? I think I disconnected it from my fb so its hard to find me. Same username as here for me
In reply to @kellyomealia's tweet
Thursday, March 15, 2012 12:51:22 AMTwitter for Android
Thank you FiOS for going down right in the middle if me needing the internet for everything Wednesday, March 14, 2012 10:29:35 PMTwitter for Android
Bring me Trump's assistant Amanda. Tuesday, March 13, 2012 1:02:06 AMTwitter for Android
The Donald ripping on ARod. Hahah Tuesday, March 13, 2012 12:32:43 AMTwitter for Android
I need to hire a personal physician... when I'm out drankin and come home, I get a saline IV... wake up hydrated and not hungover... Sunday, March 11, 2012 10:33:03 AMTwitter for Android
Pork slap? That's a real beer? For real? Saturday, March 10, 2012 11:59:12 PMTwitter for Android
Wait a minute...there's no such thing as bisexual sexually frustrated twins...m Saturday, March 10, 2012 9:14:58 PMTwitter for Android
Omg... this puppy lurves meeeeee Saturday, March 10, 2012 7:34:45 PMTwitter for Android
THERE'S A PUPPY HERE. I WANT HER. Saturday, March 10, 2012 7:13:34 PMTwitter for Android
I don't think you understand... Saturday, March 10, 2012 6:44:06 PMTwitter for Android
Actually fuck that... I can get her myself. Or... I'm so awesome she'll just come to me. Saturday, March 10, 2012 6:35:40 PMTwitter for Android
Bring me this redhead! Saturday, March 10, 2012 6:35:02 PMTwitter for Android
I was on the train talking about my drunk debauchery on twitter and was offered a social media job. Saturday, March 10, 2012 3:32:04 PMTwitter for Android
Derick:" WEST COAST RAP IS ASS" Friday, March 09, 2012 8:17:48 PMTwitter for Android
Change of plans... Elise's ass Friday, March 09, 2012 7:42:33 PMTwitter for Android
Haha auto correct.... Duane Reade.. and 'Nums... not nuns Friday, March 09, 2012 7:32:41 PMTwitter for Android
So disappointed that the Duane Reader doesn't have refrigerated' Nuns, you guys Friday, March 09, 2012 7:31:15 PMTwitter for Android
RT @yelling_bird: THESE DICKS WON'T SUCK THEMSELV- OH GOD THEY'RE SUCKING THEMSELVES Friday, March 09, 2012 9:02:37 AMTwitter for Android
Bunch of smokes on this earlier train Friday, March 09, 2012 7:35:33 AMTwitter for Android
Look at this minx Thursday, March 08, 2012 8:30:39 PMTwitter for Android
is HBO fuckin retarded? Who gives a fuck about the McCain/Palin election?. No one wants to watch this shit. http://t.co/UPmassp Wednesday, March 07, 2012 11:49:52 PMTwitter for Android
Like if I could do anything right now, I'd be broin' out, playing cards and ripping ass. Then going to the racetrack the next day Wednesday, March 07, 2012 11:03:17 PMTwitter for Android
I'd kill to go upstate with the mover right now. When that guy goes, I'm gonna be a fucking mess and three quarters. Wednesday, March 07, 2012 11:02:02 PMTwitter for Android
Shit. Haven't been to barfly in a while. Forgot how obsessed I was with this bartender. Wednesday, March 07, 2012 10:04:22 PMTwitter for Android
RT @DEVOPS_BORAT: If you are still fascinate by NoSQL in 2012 you must of be brogrammer. Wednesday, March 07, 2012 9:17:32 PMTwitter for Android
I'm obsessed with Molly. Wednesday, March 07, 2012 8:38:59 PMTwitter for Android
Let's do G1 Dot porn! Wednesday, March 07, 2012 8:05:17 PMTwitter for Android
Don't go to beer with a bed Wednesday, March 07, 2012 7:01:38 PMTwitter for Android
Sooooo you mean to tell me that Goldsmith isn't allowed to drink this? http://t.co/iY4FQam Tuesday, March 06, 2012 2:09:16 PMTwitter for Android
Alexey! Can you let me write the fucking batch file? Jeeeez. I can do it quicker. Tuesday, March 06, 2012 9:31:14 AMTwitter for Android
Fucking A, Verizon. Release the galaxy nexus update. I never have internet you shits Tuesday, March 06, 2012 8:11:28 AMTwitter for Android
Absolutely no clue how this happened... Jesus http://t.co/83K8eQL Tuesday, March 06, 2012 1:46:54 AMTwitter for Android
This is a bunch of bullshit... Come on, Stags! #maachoops Monday, March 05, 2012 8:39:47 PMTwitter for Android
I'm convinced that @yelling_bird is Jimmy Patsos Monday, March 05, 2012 8:34:56 PMTwitter for Android
Pretty sure this train car has a flat tire. It's like I'm sitting on top of a jackhammer. Monday, March 05, 2012 8:15:24 AMTwitter for Android
The mover: "Like the saying goes, 'shit and corruption.' Well, I went upstairs... No shit, but corruption!" Sunday, March 04, 2012 10:30:53 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck, I need to lay off the twitter API. I'm almost rate limited. Sunday, March 04, 2012 5:33:45 PMTwitter for Android
Woooooo! Go Stags! Sucks I couldn't make it to massachusetts this year! Sunday, March 04, 2012 4:16:20 PMTwitter for Android
Iona's cheerleaders are hideous. Sunday, March 04, 2012 3:22:54 PMTwitter for Android
It worked! Sunday, March 04, 2012 12:49:48 PMTwitter for Android
Then they wonder why I hit the bottle... Saturday, March 03, 2012 12:42:23 AMTwitter for Android
Can't do a fuckin thing anymore... there is no freedom. Saturday, March 03, 2012 12:39:08 AMTwitter for Android
Just caught ya looking, sweetie Saturday, March 03, 2012 12:13:53 AMTwitter for Android
These old men really know how to play guitar Friday, March 02, 2012 8:34:53 PMTwitter for Android
I think I'm still drunk Friday, March 02, 2012 8:04:50 AMTwitter for Android
I need to txt/talk to my sister but she's a Nancy and won't answer/is sleeping/u feel bad bothering her. Tomorrow I guess. Woof. :'( Friday, March 02, 2012 2:12:22 AMTwitter for Android
RT @DadBoner: Headin' to Cold One City, USA. Nothin' wrong with a Thirstday celebraish, you guys. Friday, March 02, 2012 2:03:09 AMTwitter for Android
When you show up at a bar and 8 ppl scream your name and one of their friends doesn't know you.... instant awesome / popular status Friday, March 02, 2012 2:01:48 AMTwitter for Android
Wait a sec... fucking Obama is in the city? Fuck off. I want to go to the bar and the cops have the shit barricaded off Thursday, March 01, 2012 8:03:48 PMTwitter for Android
I should couldered him! Thursday, March 01, 2012 7:42:21 PMTwitter for Android
Metro North needs to get rid of all these bullshit Bronx stops like Williams Bridge and Tremont. Only Fordham is valid. F local trains Wednesday, February 29, 2012 8:56:27 PMTwitter for Android
Cute puppy though Sunday, February 26, 2012 11:38:19 PMTwitter for Android
Bunch of bullshit! A fucking french black and white silent film is still relevant in 2012? Never even heard of it. Sunday, February 26, 2012 11:37:29 PMTwitter for Android
Angelina Jolie is an anorexic skeleton face. I'm pretty sure my dick is wider than her left arm Sunday, February 26, 2012 10:28:28 PMTwitter for Android
This is the best couch and blanket combo ever. I feel like I'm melting into it. Sunday, February 26, 2012 9:17:52 PMTwitter for Android
@Frankalankster @VtotheFlo Bull You can't tease like that without telling the story. Explain the resolution (this is why I don't make them)
In reply to @Frankalankster's tweet
Sunday, February 26, 2012 12:18:04 AMTwitter for Android
"Name a NY Knick" "Idk... Linning!" Friday, February 24, 2012 8:26:14 PMTwitter for Android
RT @DadBoner: Really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys. Thursday, February 23, 2012 8:35:42 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 fuck joba. That dude sucks. Wasted his career. Prime candidate for the New York Mets
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Thursday, February 23, 2012 8:35:14 PMTwitter for Android
@Nettiz1 I wasn't impressed by bud light platinum. Also are you at the watering hole tomorrow until 7?
In reply to @Nettiz1's tweet
Wednesday, February 22, 2012 7:55:38 PMTwitter for Android
Seriously, it has no idea how to switch between 3G and 4G and chomps on cock. Update it NOW. Wednesday, February 22, 2012 8:12:55 AMTwitter for Android
Would be nice if this Galaxy Nexus actually decided to pick up internet for once. Verizon had some nerve releasing this buggy radio Wednesday, February 22, 2012 8:11:35 AMTwitter for Android
Wanna lower the heat on this fucking train? Jesus Christ. Tuesday, February 21, 2012 6:58:22 PMTwitter for Android
My twitter is out of control. Saturday, February 18, 2012 10:50:37 PMTwitter for Android
NO WONDER Saturday, February 18, 2012 8:44:01 PMTwitter for Android
Learned some things today. Hhhhhhhhhhh Saturday, February 18, 2012 8:05:57 PMTwitter for Android
But shed like it Saturday, February 18, 2012 6:22:28 PMTwitter for Android
Shit. I hope she doesn't follow me on twitter and can see my tweets. I mean if she can, fuck it but it would be 10% more embarrassing. Saturday, February 18, 2012 6:22:11 PMTwitter for Android
Lennon: take that fucking checkered bullshit shirt off and show us your goods. Saturday, February 18, 2012 6:19:12 PMTwitter for Android
100% unreliable. 100% Bum. Saturday, February 18, 2012 6:17:00 PMTwitter for Android
Killing in the name of! Saturday, February 18, 2012 5:48:29 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus christ. Lennon is killing me right now. I mean rebound with me. Its fine Saturday, February 18, 2012 4:27:28 PMTwitter for Android
@nyJULZmd PS. Love youuuuu Saturday, February 18, 2012 4:14:32 PMTwitter for Android
@nyJULZmd I mean... you can suck it with tour comments. If not someone else will.
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
Saturday, February 18, 2012 4:14:09 PMTwitter for Android
I think I can't party with coworkers anymore or else I'll def get fired. Shit. Saturday, February 18, 2012 4:12:27 PMTwitter for Android
Shit. The gays made mollys hair like... I'm into her so hard. PS this violates the employee handbook so its off the record. Saturday, February 18, 2012 4:10:11 PMTwitter for Android
I'm so wet right now.... in a drink spilled on kind of way. Not in a... How I get the ladies way Saturday, February 18, 2012 3:50:45 PMTwitter for Android
@nyJULZmd nah fuck that. That's a pussy assed phone. The galaxy nexus is better
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
Saturday, February 18, 2012 3:24:29 PMTwitter for Android
Now he's doing mollys hair. Threesome? Saturday, February 18, 2012 3:13:30 PMTwitter for Android
These gays know their shit. I mean. Ryan did Lennon's hair and now shes like so bangable. Not that she wasn't before. Hhh Saturday, February 18, 2012 3:12:52 PMTwitter for Android
We don't care that we're out numbered Saturday, February 18, 2012 3:06:43 PMTwitter for Android
iPhone- 6. Galaxy Nexus- 2. Me and allison are killing it. Fuck apple. Saturday, February 18, 2012 3:06:02 PMTwitter for Android
I'm jealous of Allison's limited edition Galaxy Nexus battery cover bc she works at Google. I have the bitch ass Verizon cover Saturday, February 18, 2012 1:05:22 PMTwitter for Android
Yous want an apple pie? "@Colithika: Delicious apple pies - Vodka, apple juice, cinnamon Amazing http://t.co/aghpCFd" Saturday, February 18, 2012 10:34:38 AMTwitter for Android
My mom just asked me what cameltoe was. Hhhhhhhhggg Thursday, February 16, 2012 11:27:00 PMTwitter for Android
Kate Upton can teach me finger mechanics any day if the week and twice on Sundays: http://t.co/2pCZDxY Thursday, February 16, 2012 10:01:12 PMTwitter for Android
I mean... it wouldn't be terrible if Romney, gingrich and santorum were all assassinated.... *FBI peeps - this is a joke Thursday, February 16, 2012 9:51:21 PMTwitter for Android
RT @DadBoner: SI Swimsuit Ish came today. Can almost see that Kate Upton babe's downstairs situaish on the cover. Racy, but you can tell ... Thursday, February 16, 2012 9:42:55 PMTwitter for Android
*Bud lite... sheeeeeit its not a blunt, you guys. Thursday, February 16, 2012 8:23:51 PMTwitter for Android
I think I'm gonna go for some more bud lights, you guys. Its the @DadBoner of beers. Thursday, February 16, 2012 8:22:49 PMTwitter for Android
Vintage footage. This is gem central station Wednesday, February 15, 2012 7:10:34 PMTwitter for Android
Wish I got that shit on video. I can't stop smiling Wednesday, February 15, 2012 6:55:32 PMTwitter for Android
Bahahaha. This bros got a massage therapy licence in Puerto Rico, has great hands and has been giving massages since 12. Quote of the month! Wednesday, February 15, 2012 6:55:17 PMTwitter for Android
Would be nice if the fucking 5 train didn't go fucking 3 mph and stop 8 times between stations making me miss my train. Tuesday, February 14, 2012 6:46:26 PMTwitter for Android
Dear Verizon. Update the software on the Galaxy Nexus on the grounds that its too fucking buggy. Love, Joe. Tuesday, February 14, 2012 8:09:03 AMTwitter for Android
RT @DadBoner: Wearin' my red silk shirt tomorrow. So plush. Mad swag. It's got a couple stains, but you can hardly see 'em. Can't get ri ... Monday, February 13, 2012 11:24:40 PMTwitter for Android
Wait. Someone explain to me the difference between record of the year and album of the year. @dannyrob88 Sunday, February 12, 2012 11:19:22 PMTwitter for Android
I want to get hammered and grind a over these LA biddies to Foo Fighters and Deadmaus. SHIT Sunday, February 12, 2012 10:58:38 PMTwitter for Android
@tomwcleary @Onethirdof3x5 need something corrected on @mirrorfairfield's shitty ass website? That can be arranged.
In reply to @tomwcleary's tweet
Sunday, February 12, 2012 10:02:13 PMTwitter for Android
Sorry Dave, after Katy Perry showed up, I think I'm into her instead. But we're still bros, right? Sunday, February 12, 2012 9:59:25 PMTwitter for Android
And to think, the weak assed FUSA politicians and feeble budget couldn't get T Swift to Fairfield. Woof. Sunday, February 12, 2012 9:45:46 PMTwitter for Android
OMG I have a man crush on Dave Grohl Sunday, February 12, 2012 8:48:08 PMTwitter for Android
Girl in Chevy commercial: remove that towel and serenade me. Sunday, February 12, 2012 8:43:06 PMTwitter for Android
What's the over/under Jason Aldean stuffed Kelly Clarkson backstage? Sunday, February 12, 2012 8:41:00 PMTwitter for Android
Bruce is so Jersey right now Sunday, February 12, 2012 8:04:25 PMTwitter for Android

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