| Some herb would sort this all out... You know... "Chamomile tea" | Thursday, December 20, 2012 4:32:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yes. Puking in a bag during the lunch hour rush while sober is a great look for me. | Thursday, December 20, 2012 4:15:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| " You mount the woman, son....or else, send her out to me, huh?" | Wednesday, December 19, 2012 10:25:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I want to bang you dirty. | Tuesday, December 18, 2012 10:27:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Tits. Out. | Tuesday, December 18, 2012 9:35:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| About time these POlice write mother fuckin tickets for these homeless wastes | Tuesday, December 18, 2012 9:17:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Shit. Just realized Ashling is rocking hoops like a black girl. Didn't even notice | Tuesday, December 18, 2012 8:47:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bang bang bang | Tuesday, December 18, 2012 8:42:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The ice on the glass | Tuesday, December 18, 2012 8:30:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Apartment: shitshow. Salesforce: clean" -Alisa | Tuesday, December 18, 2012 7:34:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MalJNew Be proud! | Tuesday, December 18, 2012 2:25:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Order or reason? | Monday, December 17, 2012 9:35:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Didn't even roll out of bed and my day has been made! I'm the luckiest! | Monday, December 17, 2012 7:35:39 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Hanging with my boys @keith_connors and @Onethirdof3x5 and Jackie. Yeahhh buddy! | Saturday, December 15, 2012 10:27:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hey fly ass Santa. I want a picture with you!! | Saturday, December 15, 2012 8:55:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Elise: "Yo. What does Jesus have to do with Christmas" | Saturday, December 15, 2012 8:39:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I just told my CEO I save this company 29grand a year and if he doesn't appreciate it he can blow me | Friday, December 14, 2012 11:08:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Or Greg. Not that they didn't bang before | Friday, December 14, 2012 10:48:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Kelly needs to get some duck from TKray | Friday, December 14, 2012 10:48:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hardly drank yet. Went over to Alexey and Niraj and took 3 shots. Fuckin A | Friday, December 14, 2012 7:18:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I don't think @MalJNew was too pleased I was going around strutting my ass on the sales floor, getting mad head turns | Friday, December 14, 2012 2:50:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Elise just made me do two shots of Hennessey. She's the blackest. | Thursday, December 13, 2012 8:44:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Moreeeeee sexy Dave on drums. #wahh | Thursday, December 13, 2012 1:05:25 AM | Twitter for Android |
| #121312Concert | Thursday, December 13, 2012 1:02:26 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I have a touch of the gay for Dave Grohl | Thursday, December 13, 2012 1:02:10 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Omg I want his hair. | Thursday, December 13, 2012 1:00:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| OMG Dave Grohl!!!! | Thursday, December 13, 2012 12:59:18 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I WANT DAVE #121212concert | Thursday, December 13, 2012 12:40:40 AM | Twitter for Android |
| #121212concert is dope | Wednesday, December 12, 2012 10:33:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck you looking at, cunt | Wednesday, December 12, 2012 10:12:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck Williams bridge and all these piece of shit Bronx stops. Metro north should skip the Bronx. Its for better people | Wednesday, December 12, 2012 9:54:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Don't get chicken at mitherfuckin McDonalds because the probably slaughter it. Fuckers took 20 minutes. | Wednesday, December 12, 2012 9:04:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| SHIT. About a girl is on at Dakota Bar. | Wednesday, December 12, 2012 7:46:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm gonna go home, watch the nirvana reunion and do one one one karaoke with myself. #loser | Wednesday, December 12, 2012 7:46:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @thomaswood was referring to that | Wednesday, December 12, 2012 4:31:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @DEVOPS_BORAT: 90% of problem in devops can able solve with one of 3 thing: 1) SSD 2) CDN 3) AWS | Tuesday, December 11, 2012 10:49:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I think I just dropped a bigger log than Elise. | Monday, December 10, 2012 7:32:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Seriously. It's like the internet decided to fucking shut off the minute I woke up and pulled out my phone. And it needed a reboot. | Monday, December 10, 2012 7:01:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The radios in my phone are driving me batshit on the grounds that I NEVER FUCKING HAVE INTERNET | Monday, December 10, 2012 6:59:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "This 4 train smells like musty dick" -@MalJNew | Monday, December 10, 2012 6:57:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Take a week off for Hanukkah or some shit. Christ. | Monday, December 10, 2012 8:08:08 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Why the fuck is this train so crowded with no seats this morning. Fuck off. I wanted to sleep | Monday, December 10, 2012 8:05:41 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Oh but my bed is too warm and fuzzy for me to get up... | Monday, December 10, 2012 7:31:36 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Like... I can't load youtube shit on 4G. And a 3G iPhone 4 loads it fine. this is horse shit | Saturday, December 08, 2012 10:39:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The hybrid 3G/4G radios in this piece of shit Galaxy Nexus can suck my dick. | Saturday, December 08, 2012 10:34:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Didn't puke and not hungover. Yeahhhh buddy | Saturday, December 08, 2012 12:04:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I could go for a grapefruit right now. #saturdaybrunch | Saturday, December 08, 2012 10:45:51 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Its not even possible my tab was only $35. | Saturday, December 08, 2012 10:43:44 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My twitter makes me sound like a mess. Its kind of a joke / entertainment you guys. Everything's fine. | Saturday, December 08, 2012 8:55:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| This is what working for my company does to you. Turns you into a fuckin stressed ass zombie that turns to stupid shit to get by at life. | Saturday, December 08, 2012 2:02:53 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Good, because half the time I'm all fucked up in shit, idiots. | Saturday, December 08, 2012 2:01:51 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Its okay though. My boss said he doesn't give two fucks what I do outside if work, so long as it doesn't affect work | Saturday, December 08, 2012 2:00:40 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I don't hate black peeps for the rec duh. They taught me how to strut dat ass | Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:58:59 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Wow. Guess I'm pretty fucked up. I told Stephie that my grandparents hate black people tonight. That's some fucked up shit. | Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:58:10 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fucking shitfaced you stupid mother fuckers | Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:52:54 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I can type surprisingly well because I'm actually trying, cunts | Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:52:31 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Someone bring me some mother fuckin weed and xanax | Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:48:46 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck. Me. In the ass | Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:47:16 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Uhhhhgh. Jesus Christ on the cross | Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:47:01 AM | Twitter for Android |
| This is fuckin karma. I wasn't sympathetic enough for the bitch ass who missed her stop on Tuesday | Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:44:16 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck. | Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:40:25 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuckin dentist appointment. Would've stayed in the city. Jesus Fucking Christ | Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:39:04 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Son of a bitch these players hate me. Time to move out | Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:38:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Cock sucker mother fucker | Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:33:01 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Like. I'm never back in this ducking place and one time I do I'm a drunk mother fucker | Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:32:43 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @kerbear88 you take the 4/5 every morning? Mal thought she saw you yesterday | Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:31:41 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The one fucking time I decide to come back to fucking bitch ass Westchester, I sleep past my stop | Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:30:34 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Rocks in my mother fuckin head to take this dumbass drunkass train home | Saturday, December 08, 2012 12:54:47 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Two things: I'm air drumming to AC/DC. And Scott better tap this chicks pussy but he won't | Friday, December 07, 2012 8:30:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| YEAHHHH THEY COME TO SNUFF RJE ROISTER | Thursday, December 06, 2012 7:44:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dave Grohl. I want drum lessons! | Thursday, December 06, 2012 7:31:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| These fucking elevators suck a dick | Thursday, December 06, 2012 1:31:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck all these fucking morons. | Wednesday, December 05, 2012 2:36:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Get me the fuck out of this meetong | Tuesday, December 04, 2012 11:46:27 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Ghost town on the 4/5 this morning. Wonder why... | Tuesday, December 04, 2012 9:05:45 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Lower. The motherless heat on this shit train. | Monday, December 03, 2012 7:01:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Monday funday!!! Woohoooo! | Monday, December 03, 2012 8:01:53 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I want babies with @Colithika and we should name our son Alejandro | Saturday, December 01, 2012 11:38:31 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck | Friday, November 30, 2012 11:51:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Robert DiNero knows his shit | Friday, November 30, 2012 11:47:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @portfolioso @Colithika @Waspito I'd bang you both, but I'm just not into the dick. But you're still my dudes | Friday, November 30, 2012 11:19:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Colithika @Waspito cum to us in January, sexual. | Friday, November 30, 2012 11:18:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I win fuckers | Friday, November 30, 2012 10:04:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Boner for DLK right now. WHEN I run a company, I will be baller like him | Friday, November 30, 2012 9:15:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Can't believe tcunt fired this awesome dude http://t.co/n8VQIlo | Friday, November 30, 2012 8:21:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Everyone's taking three fucking years at these ATMs. Fuck off bitches. | Friday, November 30, 2012 1:53:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| There is a guy literally paying metro north in coins. Classic move. conductor wanted to murder him. | Thursday, November 29, 2012 6:53:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I wonder what it would be like to jack off in space. All weightless and shit... | Wednesday, November 28, 2012 10:58:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @yelling_bird: PUNCH YOURSELF IN THE FACE | Wednesday, November 28, 2012 6:54:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Maaaaaaa!!! I don't wanna go to school today!!! | Tuesday, November 27, 2012 7:49:37 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Just called Kevin Rose a bitch... | Monday, November 26, 2012 8:49:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @kevinrose Android 4.2 > iOS, bitch! | Monday, November 26, 2012 8:49:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| For whatever reason, its been soooo trippy to type on my phone keyboard for the past two days. Wonder why... | Monday, November 26, 2012 6:10:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The dude operating this train is amateur as fuck. Takes forever to pull a train into the station at 2mph. Learn to spot quicker, asshat. | Monday, November 26, 2012 2:50:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Watching the Foo Fighters live at Wembley in 09. Dave, pounce me. | Monday, November 26, 2012 12:01:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My lungs hurt and this train is hot as ballsack. Heat should be banned on trains. | Sunday, November 25, 2012 6:52:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I don't think we should play up and down the river with Four Loco, you guys. | Saturday, November 24, 2012 4:41:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| http://t.co/Ead0FBD is a programming language? | Friday, November 23, 2012 10:48:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dude. Frosty is on. Well, just ended but still | Friday, November 23, 2012 8:31:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Da moon | Friday, November 23, 2012 8:11:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| In a casino, the cardinal rule is to keep them playing &keep coming back. The longer they play, the more they lose. In the end we get it all | Thursday, November 22, 2012 11:34:15 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The supper is fuckin vertical | Thursday, November 22, 2012 1:37:20 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus Christ. I'm like designated drink dumper on-er. I'm wetter than a fuckin pussy. Not TKs pussy. That shits sandy | Thursday, November 22, 2012 12:43:14 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Lol John Stelatte. What a fuckin joke | Thursday, November 22, 2012 12:35:31 AM | Twitter for Android |
| This is after they dumped beer on my sexy assed jeans | Thursday, November 22, 2012 12:34:47 AM | Twitter for Android |
| John: "It's okay. It all rubs in!" | Thursday, November 22, 2012 12:34:08 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Bau. Play with me | Thursday, November 22, 2012 12:06:14 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Ihhh. Gin and cider tastes like ballllsack. Not that I ever licked balls | Wednesday, November 21, 2012 10:31:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo. Remember the last time we walked to mickeys and I puked in the snow and then ate it to wash my mouth and then drank more? | Wednesday, November 21, 2012 10:29:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I mean.... I was uncool as fuck in high school. And now I'm wearing a horse shirt. | Wednesday, November 21, 2012 10:27:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mmm beer and amaretto @Waspito @SonicBlur23 | Wednesday, November 21, 2012 9:57:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Firefox 17 released and the only notable feature is some Facebook bs? Fuck that noise. How about the stop sucking a cock like Chrome. | Wednesday, November 21, 2012 9:11:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Kev's got the red and black lumberjack. Without the hat to match | Wednesday, November 21, 2012 6:25:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| ⚡CRASHES | Wednesday, November 21, 2012 2:54:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Tonights menu: bolognese sauce and cauliflower quiche, prepared by your master chef... Me! | Tuesday, November 20, 2012 8:56:29 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm gonna go watch these tapes | Monday, November 19, 2012 9:49:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Lennon son of a bitch. Its in my DVR. #spoiler | Sunday, November 18, 2012 11:55:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo | Sunday, November 18, 2012 5:24:22 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Wait. If a pigs tail is squiggly, is a pigs dick squiggly? | Sunday, November 18, 2012 4:10:01 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Delete that shit. Two midgets and a horse | Sunday, November 18, 2012 4:08:40 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Two bitches and a horse or else it isn't even worth my time. | Sunday, November 18, 2012 4:06:58 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I just smacked DAT ass and said "you got a black ass, gurrrrrrl" | Saturday, November 17, 2012 9:46:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Vagina phone! | Saturday, November 17, 2012 7:52:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mmmmm. | Saturday, November 17, 2012 7:50:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This cabbie smells like fuckin onions. Big deal. Happens | Friday, November 16, 2012 9:34:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @portfolioso #shameless | Friday, November 16, 2012 8:58:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm the cockiest motherfucker going but I mean hey.... when your that hot. God damn right. | Friday, November 16, 2012 8:57:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| When life gives you lemons... Strut dat ass | Friday, November 16, 2012 2:04:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Well fuck | Thursday, November 15, 2012 9:39:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Some more skrilla from those bitches | Thursday, November 15, 2012 8:00:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This is why voting in the United States is a fucking joke. http://t.co/YzwYMfl | Thursday, November 15, 2012 12:05:12 AM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @DEVOPS_BORAT: Regret in devops is when you are monitor cloud instance which was terminate of last week. | Wednesday, November 14, 2012 9:54:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Tits! Meetings! Enjoyyyyyyy | Wednesday, November 14, 2012 5:33:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Wait. He inherited her last name?!?! What a bitch. I'm gonna tap that ass." | Wednesday, November 14, 2012 3:50:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Beers are going down realll smooth, you guys | Wednesday, November 14, 2012 3:43:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| If Gretchen Mol is 40, then bring me a cougar. Welp, maybe I'm just into older redheads | Monday, November 12, 2012 10:56:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| So Angela Darmody banged a guy she thought looked like her son and screamed his name in bed? #sick #boardwalkempire | Monday, November 12, 2012 10:38:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Lol. The NYC comptroller is Asian. #math #smart | Monday, November 12, 2012 10:32:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
Chris Christie
*Governor* | Monday, November 12, 2012 7:23:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Well balls. Went to a bar in Gramercy and need to be back in the financial district like now. Still here. Oops | Monday, November 12, 2012 1:35:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The doghouse. Lol | Monday, November 12, 2012 10:32:58 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The Mover: "Chest out. Be proud!!!!" | Sunday, November 11, 2012 2:19:26 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @MalJNew just tweetd on behalf of me that I love butts. Truth | Saturday, November 10, 2012 7:34:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I love butts! | Saturday, November 10, 2012 7:31:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Tits http://t.co/mgi0BFZ | Saturday, November 10, 2012 7:20:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Gimmie | Saturday, November 10, 2012 6:59:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Boobsssssssss!!! | Saturday, November 10, 2012 6:58:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wanna do a startup with @__JLu | Saturday, November 10, 2012 4:55:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Brunch makes you talk about China | Saturday, November 10, 2012 4:42:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Our new corporate logo is goatse central. Looks like a gaping asshole | Saturday, November 10, 2012 4:37:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The killahs!!!!! | Saturday, November 10, 2012 4:36:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Brunch is over. Lets play Edward 40 hands. Or meat or pussy | Saturday, November 10, 2012 4:10:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @Disalmanac: Today in 1969, "Sesame Street" debuted on PBS. It's the show that teaches children to play with that green thing living ... | Saturday, November 10, 2012 3:59:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My legs are sexy as fuck in these Diesels | Saturday, November 10, 2012 3:36:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Impressed "I'll get the steak and eggs. Hold the eggs and replace it with bacon" | Saturday, November 10, 2012 3:07:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My eyes might tear | Friday, November 09, 2012 10:53:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| No. No. No. Pearl jams black cannot come on here. Fucker | Friday, November 09, 2012 10:53:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| DAT GUITAR SOLO. Pearl Jam. Alive. | Friday, November 09, 2012 10:50:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Vincent. Amanda. Yous two need to fuck. If you don't I'll be disappointed. | Friday, November 09, 2012 10:39:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| FREEEEE BIRDDDD | Friday, November 09, 2012 10:29:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| One baby to another says I'm lucky to have met you | Friday, November 09, 2012 9:35:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Alice in chains then Nirvana on at this bar. I'm in heaven | Friday, November 09, 2012 9:33:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pockets you fuckin piece of shit. Thanks for skipping the tech team in your shout out. | Friday, November 09, 2012 5:38:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Margaret Schroder, you dog! Keeps tapping Mr. Slater I see | Thursday, November 08, 2012 11:25:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Happy Election Day! May the odds be ever in your favor! | Tuesday, November 06, 2012 7:50:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I want one of those Chris Christie, Governor fleeces. Imagine a "Joe C, Release Engineer" fleece? #biddiesbewet | Monday, November 05, 2012 7:10:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hey look. They restored my power after a week and a half... #secondworldcountry | Monday, November 05, 2012 6:57:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Meg Long thinks I'm dumb in the head now. Bahhaa | Sunday, November 04, 2012 10:25:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Lady and the Tramp, Bambi. Same shit | Sunday, November 04, 2012 10:24:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm "fly" right now! | Sunday, November 04, 2012 10:06:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Butterfly in the skyyy!!!! @MalJNew | Sunday, November 04, 2012 10:05:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Lennon you're the nastiest | Sunday, November 04, 2012 7:52:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This poor guy's got some beak on him | Sunday, November 04, 2012 6:18:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Can we get some stewardesses who aren't blonde who can count. Thanks | Sunday, November 04, 2012 4:57:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| OK how many fucking times do you have to count people in this plane. Ya dumb? | Sunday, November 04, 2012 4:54:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Empty 3 seater on this plane. Should take advantage and bang in it. | Sunday, November 04, 2012 4:48:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Looked in mirror. Would bang. | Sunday, November 04, 2012 3:15:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Avril lavigne and enrique iglesias made the cut | Sunday, November 04, 2012 3:06:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Lol.. Mandy Moore - Candy | Sunday, November 04, 2012 2:55:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Finally putting that hardcore girly songs CD in. Real pumped you guys. Track 1: Ashley Simpson | Sunday, November 04, 2012 2:52:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Heading home to the warzone. No gas and shit. No power. Fuckin third world country | Sunday, November 04, 2012 2:29:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wooooo extra hour! | Saturday, November 03, 2012 11:57:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MalJNew suck it | Saturday, November 03, 2012 12:48:52 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Its fryday. Let's fry some shit. Nom! | Friday, November 02, 2012 7:28:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Doritos, cheese and trail bologna for breakfast. Nom | Friday, November 02, 2012 11:13:15 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Dear left sinus: please unclog. <3, Joe | Friday, November 02, 2012 12:17:15 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I am NOT a fan of the new gmail compose view. | Thursday, November 01, 2012 4:02:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Oh jeeeeez... | Thursday, November 01, 2012 2:52:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yeahhh. Boys II Men | Thursday, November 01, 2012 12:39:46 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus Christ i drink beer like a pussy these days | Thursday, November 01, 2012 12:05:15 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Grape pixie sticks | Wednesday, October 31, 2012 11:55:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It tastes like pez and red bull | Wednesday, October 31, 2012 11:54:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It smells like someone just put weed in a deep frier in this bar | Wednesday, October 31, 2012 11:39:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| SiriusXM 34 - Lithium is my jam. 90s rock and grunge. Yeah buddy! @RockNationRadio | Wednesday, October 31, 2012 8:04:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @DadBoner: Happy 'Ween, you guys. | Wednesday, October 31, 2012 3:05:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| God DAMN it the radios in my galaxy nexus are fucking pieces of shit that can't connect to dick | Wednesday, October 31, 2012 12:29:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pretty sure Sassy thinks my face is a lollipop | Tuesday, October 30, 2012 8:50:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yeahhhhhhh! Works closed until Thursday so fuckin enjoyyyy. Free vacay! | Tuesday, October 30, 2012 6:40:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Major disaster: No Nexus 4 on Verizon. This is bullshit. | Tuesday, October 30, 2012 3:13:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The only thing #sandy right now is TK's box | Monday, October 29, 2012 4:12:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The fact that I was like "Funny how" and Pudge got the Goodfellas reference and is a Yankee fan.... For fucks sake what a G. | Monday, October 29, 2012 2:05:42 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Dickknuckle and douchecanoe. Bitches | Monday, October 29, 2012 1:42:01 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Welp. Been drinking for 7 hours already. Jeebus. I'm ok though. | Monday, October 29, 2012 1:14:22 AM | Twitter for Android |
| OK miss piggy. No one else gives a fuck about your Hawaii pics on instagram | Monday, October 29, 2012 1:13:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Never have I ever ridden bare back on a horse | Monday, October 29, 2012 12:45:48 AM | Twitter for Android |
| "Are your friends all just getting wasted and waiting for the end of the world?" | Monday, October 29, 2012 12:09:32 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Um... in Apples to Apples, how does Ding Dongs lose for firm.... | Sunday, October 28, 2012 9:35:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor some vodka that'll jumpstart my heart quicker then a shock when I get shocked at the hospital | Sunday, October 28, 2012 8:05:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Oh my God this beef and noodles... Might have jizzed my pants | Sunday, October 28, 2012 7:58:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Love this DirecTV NFL pass thingy that I'm in the middle of Ohio and can still watch my GMen | Sunday, October 28, 2012 6:57:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wool. Don't have to work this week fuckn enjoyyyyyy. #sandy #stranded | Sunday, October 28, 2012 6:35:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| #shitnoonesays "Natty tastes better warm" ...actually just heard a dude say this now. Hahahhahaha | Sunday, October 28, 2012 6:34:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Welp, little tipsssssss... playing cards like a slow..... | Sunday, October 28, 2012 6:05:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Stranded in Brohio until Thursday because of #sandy #sorryimnotsorry | Sunday, October 28, 2012 5:39:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pickup line of the week: "Hey! Wanna put on my mom's crocs?" | Sunday, October 28, 2012 1:34:32 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck all you hos who got the Halloween 2012 and or zombie swarm foursquare badges. If I don't get them ima shake a bitch (pref TKray) | Saturday, October 27, 2012 11:05:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This doggie LURVES me!!! We're besties!!! | Saturday, October 27, 2012 9:14:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I mean.... If there's an original Game Boy in their room, they're a keeper.... | Saturday, October 27, 2012 7:38:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| One pisser isn't gonna cut it here.. almost as bad as preakness. Need to find a spot outside when it gets dark... | Saturday, October 27, 2012 5:30:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| xD | Saturday, October 27, 2012 1:35:57 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Alexey told me to enjoy the hospitality. And I have a new best friend named Bella | Saturday, October 27, 2012 1:34:51 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Struttin that ass @LEVIS | Friday, October 26, 2012 8:02:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The foulest of moods | Friday, October 26, 2012 7:54:50 AM | Twitter for Android |
| "What are ya gonna do?" "What do you want me to do" hhhhhhh | Thursday, October 25, 2012 9:41:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Would be better off if TKray died in a bus fire | Tuesday, October 23, 2012 9:32:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| #AXELROD | Tuesday, October 23, 2012 9:02:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Take two shots whenever @kevinrose tweets #gopackgo on Sundays... | Sunday, October 21, 2012 5:21:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This kids don't even need fuckin haircuts. Beanie headed bastards | Sunday, October 21, 2012 3:06:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| That's some bullshit when a family walks in with like 5 kids at the barber | Sunday, October 21, 2012 2:48:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Struttin' that ass against breast cancer! | Sunday, October 21, 2012 11:33:54 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Really embarrassed by my parking job. Parked like a doucheknuckle | Saturday, October 20, 2012 10:17:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Angelo isn't here anymore? Wtf? Who runs this shit?#thelevee | Saturday, October 20, 2012 8:04:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "I just spilled water down my boob" "what are ya gonna do?" "Well, I was hoping you'd lick it off for me" | Saturday, October 20, 2012 10:06:57 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Chances are you missed me and elise on the swing. Its k. Didn't do anything for me | Friday, October 19, 2012 9:57:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Walks into the iron horse. Pukes. #typical | Friday, October 19, 2012 8:49:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Oh my.... they are NOT going to the iron horse.... are they? | Friday, October 19, 2012 8:31:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Casey's wife is so cool. | Friday, October 19, 2012 7:29:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I think there's some rule that says: if its drizzling and I'm on the train platform, delay the train and rain harder | Friday, October 19, 2012 8:05:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Rainy Friday. Struttin that ass | Friday, October 19, 2012 8:01:38 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm wearing girly socks | Friday, October 19, 2012 12:38:50 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @dannyrob88 drunk confidence? if you're thinking about banging the girl, go for it. | Thursday, October 18, 2012 11:55:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuckin stadium with its 5000empty seats and its quiet as fuck. Old stadium used to get loud. | Monday, October 15, 2012 11:06:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I think i saw more action in the 10 minutes of this Giants/Cards game than I did in two Yankee ALCS games. | Monday, October 15, 2012 11:05:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| That dude was out as fuck!!! Fuckin blind motherfuckers | Monday, October 15, 2012 10:56:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| OMG These umpire suck donkey dick!!! | Monday, October 15, 2012 10:56:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My mom, talking about Brian Wilson's beard: "No wonder girls end up going out with girls." | Monday, October 15, 2012 10:54:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The guy next to me on this train is possibly as batshit crazy as Van Alden on Boardwalk Empire | Monday, October 15, 2012 6:59:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @Colithika: i am a sexy fucker | Monday, October 15, 2012 7:51:49 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Roasting my ass off here. It should be in the 40s/50s. Not 70. It was just 40. This is how people get sick | Sunday, October 14, 2012 9:40:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Verlander/Hughes Tuesday... Yankees are fucked. Hughes never turned out to be as good as Connors predicted. | Sunday, October 14, 2012 7:31:18 PM | Twitter for Android |