1746 results for AP


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Tweet Date Source
This Nest is a gimmicky piece of shit product. Doesn't even maintain the setpoint. Why did it ever let it get to 73 and not call for AC when the setpoint is 72? Their support STINKS. Entry level a crap. https://t.co/Oageccv4YA Wednesday, August 07, 2019 2:57:50 AMTwitter for Android
@EPA Andrew Wheeler is a fucking disgrace. Anyone who voted not to ban this shit should have it sprayed on their children and see what happens. Maybe it'll eliminate idiots from the gene pool.

https://t.co/jHVj72PA6M
Sunday, July 21, 2019 2:47:06 PMTwitter for Android
Getting all my window trim replaced on my house because M/I Homes thought it was a good idea to use fuckin corregated cardboard so it could soak in water over 10 years and rot my plywood. Cheap assholes. Use PVC Tuesday, July 09, 2019 10:43:59 AMTwitter Web Client
Let's talk about how nom Pocky is. God bless the Japanese Sunday, June 16, 2019 9:22:39 PMTwitter for Android
@AEPOhio Thx, reported it through the app, so we're all good. Just ranting because it's been very unreliable lately. We just had a 4 hour outage last week
In reply to @AEPOhio's tweet
Thursday, June 13, 2019 1:37:01 PMTwitter for Android
@owletbabycare I've worked in tech for the past 10 years. Whose idea was it to create a second Android app that requires re-registering for a new account? You couldn't use the same authentication and upgrade the original app? This is bananas!

PS - The smart sock is awesome
Monday, June 10, 2019 11:59:29 PMTwitter Web App
The dumb @EPA idiots are at it again. The fucking corn lobby... Ethanol has a lower energy content, so even if the gas is cheaper, you'd just burn it quicker... And it increases smog. Air pollution causes heart disease, cunts.

https://t.co/2eBZvK6QrO
Saturday, June 01, 2019 2:24:54 AMTwitter for Android
@Android @roselaprairie When I buy the Pixel 4, I expect for this to not cause performance degredation
In reply to @Android's tweet
Tuesday, May 28, 2019 6:04:08 PMTwitter Web Client
@NYCTSubway @MetroNorth Not the subway. Most of the Metro North tracks on the east side of GCT (16-20). It doesn't appear dirtier than normal. It just has a generic smell of garbage. For the past few days.
In reply to @NYCTSubway's tweet
Wednesday, May 15, 2019 8:07:55 PMTwitter for Android
Must be a slow news day for this goddamn tabloid of a paper https://t.co/yd3pQfk6ti Tuesday, May 14, 2019 2:23:07 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ, @MikeDeWine. You're going to force this this poor 11 year old rape victim to give birth to this rapist piece of shit's child? Deny her of a proper childhood and teen years because some shithead raped her against her will? Get the Fuck lost

https://t.co/uifIcrkjkc
Monday, May 13, 2019 10:47:06 PMTwitter for Android
"the benefits that glyphosate confers to growers outweigh the geographically limited risks to non-target organisms."

Translation: It'll give tons of people cancer but we don't give a shit. We don't care about human lives and would rather yield healthier crops"
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, May 01, 2019 3:00:49 AMTwitter for Android
Wow, this fuckin guy really let himself go. Aged like shit in just 5 years. Guess this is what happens when you're a terrorist asshole living in a cave in some shithole https://t.co/FxqzCkxpWu Monday, April 29, 2019 5:56:08 PMTwitter Web Client
Also what I do at 2am on Sunday morning: Fixed the meta viewport issue so https://t.co/5oYiOpMTZe's graphic is not microscopic on mobile devices Sunday, April 28, 2019 2:10:21 AMTwitter Web Client
Maybe I'm being a cynical Yankee fan over here... I should be happy we're up 6-5 after bitching all night but all I can think of is "which bullpen asshole is going to blow the save?" Thursday, April 25, 2019 1:21:44 AMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ, Chapman... This can never be easy, can it? You're giving me agita over here Tuesday, April 23, 2019 1:47:08 AMTwitter for Android
@Andrew_Hopper @SamsungMobile @SamsungHelpUK @Samsung @PaulOBrien @AndroidAuth @androidcentral @verge @UnboxTherapy @MKBHD This is so damn stupid. It's more ergonomic to have the reader on the back of the phone and to use your index finger. Very poor design to have the sensor show up in bright sunlight and screen protectors can obscure it.

@madebygoogle: don't you ever pull this crap with the Pixels
In reply to @Andrew_Hopper's tweet
Friday, March 22, 2019 1:52:44 PMTwitter Web App
Graphic:

Protip: Don't feed dog dark leafy, stringy, greens... You will end up pulling it out of their butt because said leaf gets stuck
Tuesday, March 19, 2019 2:41:59 PMTwitter for Android
@VZWSupport When is RCS coming to more phones? Why is this exclusive to the Pixel 3? Pixel 2 is just as capable to support RCS

Chat features in the Messages app | Verizon Wireless - https://t.co/bYn4VzHf90
Thursday, February 28, 2019 1:00:04 PMTwitter Web Client
So let me get this straight... took a $5,500 portfolio devaluation due to a shitty 2018 stock market, but because I didn't sell any of it and made $1,000 in dividends and capital gains, I owe the ASSHOLE government $300 extra in income tax... Thursday, February 14, 2019 1:39:45 AMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Seven "Affordable" Apartments Available in Astoria: 1BR Start at $2,000/Month https://t.co/AZL1ndHb1S Sunday, February 03, 2019 10:06:39 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
Hey @AjitPaiFCC: you're a goddamn asshole

Sorry, Ajit: Comcast lowered cable investment despite net neutrality repeal https://t.co/dap1ha1NYH
Saturday, January 26, 2019 10:35:59 PMTwitter for Android
My company takes so goddamn long to approve my travel that the flights go up $200 by the time I'm able to book it

Fucking morons. Their inefficiency costs them
Sunday, January 06, 2019 2:22:38 AMTwitter Web Client
@Dlink IFTTT and Google Home cannot control my smart plug right now. Only the official app can. Is something down? Monday, December 31, 2018 6:10:36 PMTwitter Web Client
EPA: "How dare they appoint this Nancy Pelosi liberal to give us shit for how we're hurting everyone by allowing more pollution!"

https://t.co/WR9xqfujQ6
Monday, December 31, 2018 3:22:09 AMTwitter Web Client
Google AI is whack. What part of wishing each other Merry Christmas warrants a happy birthday reply? Frosty? https://t.co/80WH3u5jmV Tuesday, December 25, 2018 12:15:32 AMTwitter for Android
Hey @netflix how do I turn this crap off? https://t.co/F3Gf42uSKA Saturday, December 15, 2018 11:02:16 PMTwitter for Android
@Twitter Will you cut this out and restore my full account functionality? It's not automated. I'm trying to tell these dumb representatives to restore Net Neutrality. I've already solved a captcha https://t.co/Ndh1MAcVMX Wednesday, December 12, 2018 11:07:37 AMTwitter Web Client
@RMerlinDev Do you think this will be Asus' new flagship, like the 68u and 86u? I have an 87u and it is very apparent they don't care about updating it to 384. I want to get a model where they actively develop the firmware for it for years
In reply to @RMerlinDev's tweet
Sunday, November 25, 2018 3:37:24 PMTwitter for Android
A very disappointed āŒichigan fan just walked out of the spa and his voice sounded like they cancelled Christmas Saturday, November 24, 2018 3:16:48 PMTwitter for Android
Please explain to me why Excel 2019 has references to Internet Explorer 3 and Netscape Navigator. It's 2018. Are we just recycling the same code from the office 95 days? Are you SERIOUS @msexcel https://t.co/wYsObPgjwR Friday, November 16, 2018 7:18:13 AMTwitter Web Client
Keep it up and I quit. I'm going to move to the backwoods and give up all modern technology. Just disappear off the radar and become a lumberjack in Alaska like fuckin Dexter (what a garbage ending btw)
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, October 29, 2018 1:37:47 AMTwitter for Android
@nypost Jesus Christ with this clickbait headline you tabloid assed paper. Respect the man and put his name in the headline, y'all made it sound like Sterling kicked it!
In reply to @nypost's tweet
Tuesday, October 23, 2018 11:32:06 PMTwitter for Android
@Ask_Spectrum There's literally nothing you can do. After multiple escalations, 70+MBPS is seen as acceptable service. I had a tech out and everything with the signal and modem are fine. I just have to accept the fact that you're capping out at 85MBPS probably to conserve bandwidth
In reply to @Ask_Spectrum's tweet
Wednesday, October 17, 2018 10:13:02 AMTwitter Web Client
Apparently, anything 70-100 MBPS is considered normal. Meanwhile, they offer 300MBPS service, so what the actual fuck. This goes to show me @Ask_Spectrum is specifically limiting the speed to 85 MBPS to save bandwidth.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, October 17, 2018 9:59:45 AMTwitter Web Client
@jiaaro At least there are no data caps. Although I find it laughable that they advertise 100mbps and even after fixing my signal issues, changing splitters and rewiring things at the tap, the best they can do is 85-90MBPS.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, October 15, 2018 11:05:32 AMTwitter Web Client
How 'bout those poor @ElementTVs workers in SC losing their jobs because of Trump's tariffs? Guess they better apply for some of those clean coal jobs!

https://t.co/mwxER4H9QL
Saturday, August 25, 2018 12:44:35 AMTwitter for Android
When I find the motherfucker who stole my gas tank cap, I'm going to be plugging their asshole shut with it Tuesday, August 21, 2018 10:47:17 PMTwitter for Android
Y'all. There are too many absurd things happing in the world right now for me to satirize on here. I can't vanish from the Twitterverse now. Cuncel my Twitter leave. Friday, August 17, 2018 1:34:02 AMTwitter for Android
@AzureSupport @Azure Appreciate the reply. This is my complaint/parody account. I'll open up a real ticket and be professional about it.
In reply to @AzureSupport's tweet
Tuesday, August 07, 2018 12:41:50 AMTwitter for Android
Why does the API return an exception when doing a get on the default APIM policy? Like what the fuck. But if I save an XML comment in the portal, then the GET returns properly. Fuckoutthea @Azure
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, August 07, 2018 12:17:12 AMTwitter Web Client
Microsoft's REST API to manage their Azure API Management service, is SO convoluted, even using Microsoft's powershell.

Fuckssake what a piece of shit.
Tuesday, August 07, 2018 12:15:37 AMTwitter Web Client
Everyone knows what happened in 1929 tho amirite?

https://t.co/Klsm6fU2zt
Thursday, July 19, 2018 11:28:05 AMTwitter for Android
How is it that Google gets sued for forcing its Google Apps stack on anyone with an Android when Apple does the SAME thing. They preinstall Safari, their mail app, their calendar app, photos, etc Wednesday, July 18, 2018 12:38:25 PMTwitter Web Client
I was looking at a tweet of dude ripping on Russian politics and then my Twitter app crashed. Tuesday, July 17, 2018 1:28:47 AMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ. I take ONE Friday off and my team manages to break the entire build system and also deployed an old version of one of our apps because they didn't git pull before making changes. Monday, July 16, 2018 10:09:43 AMTwitter Web Client
Lol.. this dude played like 10 games total and spent the other 12 years on the DL https://t.co/tUItPiRwap Monday, June 25, 2018 9:27:26 PMTwitter for Android
Flat Earthers: How do you explain airplanes very far in the distance that leave vapor trails traveling straight up or down? Tuesday, June 19, 2018 1:37:53 PMTwitter Web Client
The NY Post is trying to take credit for this? Get real. Everyone knows the J/Z LES stations are dilapidated shitholes

https://t.co/hYMXywn6CF
Saturday, May 26, 2018 1:06:53 AMTwitter for Android
Just wanted to point out... Eric Clapton's solo, acoustic-ish version of Layla is šŸ”„flames Thursday, May 17, 2018 6:04:44 PMTwitter for Android
The Slack Windows 10 app is a piece of shit Wednesday, May 16, 2018 12:48:54 PMTwitter Web Client
Why in the world is the My Verizon Android app 166 MB? To show a couple of dashboards and do basic account management? Gmail and Chrome apps are less than 10MB @VZWNow https://t.co/4zjb4d9k4z Tuesday, May 08, 2018 12:48:04 PMTwitter for Android
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Pellentesque interdum rutrum sodales. Nullam mattis fermentum libero, non volutpat.

Anything after that is > 140 chrs and I'm testing their tweet_mode=extended on user_timeline.json API
Tuesday, April 10, 2018 4:58:14 PMTwitter Web Client
See, in my older age, idgaf as much about drinking, but they don't have Papaya Dog or dollar pizza in Ohio doe. So jussayin. #getnycfoodinmybelly Monday, April 02, 2018 10:29:59 PMTwitter for Android
You guys! I heard that @VP has a gay bunny and I could not be happier for him! Friday, March 23, 2018 10:11:19 PMTwitter for Android
See, this is why Giuliani had them killed instead. It prevented this entire mess from happening in the first place: https://t.co/WfkiLg0vG7 Friday, March 09, 2018 12:21:28 AMTwitter for Android
Yo @APrecourt you greedy sellout jagoff. #savethecrew
https://t.co/ricSPPUmHi
Tuesday, February 27, 2018 10:00:50 PMTwitter for Android
Hey @kristinegWP... Why is your article on the kid getting bitten by a dog so biased? You made it sound like it was an unprovoked attack, but left out the fact that the owner warned the kid not to approach the dog Friday, February 23, 2018 3:39:42 AMTwitter Web Client
@AjitPaiFCC @MIC_JAPAN @kb2474 Hey shithead. Japan's internet is better than ours you shill ass bitch. You ruined it
In reply to @AjitPaiFCC's tweet
Friday, January 05, 2018 12:25:05 AMTwitter for Android
New blog post: If you take out a mortgage to buy Bitcoin, you're a certified moron and deserve to lose it all https://t.co/VWlpW4LsAP Tuesday, December 12, 2017 12:01:27 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
New blog post: tst https://t.co/q88aPMkMsF Tuesday, November 21, 2017 3:50:57 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
At a Van Morrison show and that player is dapper af. Sparkly striped suit and green bowtie. F'in a! Thursday, September 14, 2017 9:21:11 PMTwitter for Android
Wifey's just a tad salty because the pup would rather snuggle on my lap instead of hers. Tuesday, September 05, 2017 10:22:25 PMTwitter for Android
OK, I figured out how to get the Cast screen back. Have to do three things after turning the TV on though. WITH THE APP (need new remote) Thursday, August 31, 2017 1:51:19 AMTwitter Web Client
@VIZIO Let alone, ruined perfectly good Google Cast integration with their own built in apps and ads BULLSHIT. He @VIZIO, eat a dick
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, August 31, 2017 1:22:26 AMTwitter Web Client
Happy Monday. I roll out of bed to do a maintenance and it puts me in an instantly foul mood. Monday, August 28, 2017 9:11:50 AMTwitter Web Client
Jesus Christ, Chapman. Send him to the sun Friday, August 25, 2017 10:47:31 PMTwitter for Android
Hey @SIRIUSXM: y'all players need to optimize your Windows Store app. By no means should an audio stream use 30% of my CPU and 350 MB of RAM https://t.co/zVGJLYv2uA Friday, August 25, 2017 1:38:23 PMTwitter Web Client
Work laptop at 100% CPU. After removing all the shit antivirus and IT management spyware they put on my computer, it is running just fine. Friday, August 25, 2017 10:57:22 AMTwitter Web Client
Hey @moto @lenovo your inept assed Moto X 2015 can't even run the fuckin @Uber app without freezing. Cunts https://t.co/xDTZVM67Ga Saturday, August 19, 2017 12:16:28 AMTwitter for Android
I just bumped into this old hag barback by accident in Portland Maine and I apologized and she still flipped me off. Saturday, August 19, 2017 12:02:29 AMTwitter for Android
Put Chapman on suicide watch Friday, August 18, 2017 11:23:34 PMTwitter for Android
Cuncel da Chapman Friday, August 18, 2017 11:07:17 PMTwitter for Android
You guys. It's gonna happen tonight. I'm gonna get really drunk and play bananaphone on the jukebox at the bar Thursday, August 17, 2017 6:40:14 PMTwitter for Android
Joe how about ya leave my boy @DRob30 in. Ya overanalyze the stats and go by the book and you'll get Chapman blowing another one Monday, August 14, 2017 9:51:25 PMTwitter for Android
Hey @verizonfios @verizonsupport How badly are you shaping Zoom conference call traffic? I'm getting 85MBPS up/down and it's robotic Monday, August 14, 2017 3:09:25 PMTwitter Web Client
Yo @waze love your app, but it's buggy af on Android. I had to force close it 5 times and restart the nav because it kept freezing. Wtf: https://t.co/6b0FkQogct Sunday, August 13, 2017 4:45:58 PMTwitter for Android
I had a couple drinks you guys and was singing to my dog and was so happy because she liked it and wagged her tail. Now I'm bawling. Saturday, August 05, 2017 3:30:22 PMTwitter for Android
What will happen first? @MotorolaUS suck it, I'm getting a pixel next. Way to keep your shit updated assholes Sunday, July 16, 2017 2:17:48 AMTwitter for Android
I'm concerned about the abundance of snap hotdogs and dick convos being had this weekend. Saturday, July 15, 2017 10:18:23 AMTwitter for Android
I don't even know how to get the snap hotdog because I'm an old millennial. IDK how that shit works https://t.co/Bg2wBZnRjN Thursday, July 13, 2017 11:14:57 PMTwitter for Android
The snap hotdog fucks Thursday, July 13, 2017 11:11:40 PMTwitter for Android
Sometimes you get a shitty shuffle that stinks! Not today. The MTA could shut down and I'd still be happy! https://t.co/c5Z7zqrCz7 Wednesday, July 12, 2017 6:17:35 PMTwitter for Android
Yankees are cunceled as long as Joe keeps putting Clippard out there. Absolutely disgusting watching this team collapse Saturday, July 08, 2017 1:54:01 AMTwitter for Android
@RMerlinDev You ever see SSH and httpd hang on the 87u? I can't SSH or use the WebUI unless I power cycle. Happened to me in older versions https://t.co/G5oiUeAwqk Tuesday, June 27, 2017 10:38:51 PMTwitter Web Client
Trying this again. Apparently, it's as simple as adding tweet_mode=extended to the statuses/show.json endpoint. test test la la la la la la https://t.co/sQp8NEJjan Saturday, June 24, 2017 1:23:52 AMTwitter Web Client
This is a test of a very long tweet (near 140 characters) and a photo. Testing my twitter app, which can't handle new features they added.. https://t.co/p1JhxS8t8w Saturday, June 24, 2017 12:55:54 AMTwitter Web Client
Got another groomsman rapping biggie over sublime beats for the win. Shit's turnt Saturday, May 27, 2017 2:20:05 AMTwitter for Android
Fuckin iOS has no notion of a file system. How am I supposed to back up the video of me shirtless screaming temple of the dog from snapchat? Monday, May 22, 2017 1:15:32 PMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu Oh jeez. That may be happening this July
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Sunday, May 14, 2017 7:49:45 PMTwitter for Android
Yo @Qualcomm... Why can't you fuckers make your yearly flagship chip better than last years Apple's processor? This is why Androids all suck https://t.co/UuFEwGYBkI Saturday, May 13, 2017 2:16:32 AMTwitter for Android
How about CNN stealing ideas off my old tweets about old millennials not knowing how to use Snapchat? https://t.co/67kzn0Als5 #oldmillennial https://t.co/wdpaMcDmB8 Tuesday, May 09, 2017 10:08:47 AMTwitter Web Client
Happy Friday to ya from a guy who has no idea where he is - Joe Cocker's keyboard dude live at the Fillmore East in 1970. https://t.co/Bu6rhFLfgI Friday, May 05, 2017 9:58:09 AMTwitter Web Client
"Waterfront hub with regional flights" is way to fancy of a description for this fuckin abomination @googlemaps https://t.co/mpLrq0t2C9 Saturday, April 22, 2017 3:57:25 AMTwitter for Android
My work laptop was completely fine, then I come into the office and they apply BULLSHIT GPOs which crippled half of my shit. #cunts Thursday, April 20, 2017 9:13:35 AMTwitter Web Client
What the shit is this @Fitbit... Android app update and firmware update, now notifications are broken and the app refuses to force stop Monday, April 17, 2017 1:43:12 AMTwitter for Android
Hey @Google Keep... Way to not have undo type in your app so when I accidentally delete text, there's no way to get it back. Wizzeak Monday, April 10, 2017 8:47:17 PMTwitter for Android
only in fuckin eastchester do you have landscapers that uses 5 leaf blowers at a time. shut the fuck up outside. trying to sleep Saturday, April 01, 2017 3:46:01 PMTwitter Web Client
Amazing how ignorant these people are saying this shit is safe. Enjoy your cancer https://t.co/yfApxyLRDB Thursday, March 30, 2017 8:13:30 PMTwitter Web Client
Always a bad sign waking up on Vinny's couch not knowing what the actual fuck happened Thursday, March 30, 2017 8:08:25 AMTwitter Web Client
What the actual fuck happened last night? Thursday, March 30, 2017 8:03:34 AMTwitter Web Client
Nah son. Someone set the background color to black and deleted a circle shape in MS Paint https://t.co/PzkhT9wrUt Tuesday, March 28, 2017 10:19:04 PMTwitter for Android
This is fucking stupid. So if the tablet/laptop is a timebomb, it'll be safer in the checked area than the cabin? https://t.co/2MUqILasvc Tuesday, March 21, 2017 9:31:27 AMTwitter Web Client
We need to got back to the days where Will Smith is rapping about CD Roms again Friday, March 17, 2017 10:24:30 AMTwitter Web Client
Always get the worst fomo when I day drink, take a nap, and sleep through the part 2 rally Sunday, March 05, 2017 1:38:48 AMTwitter for Android
CTO just freaked the fuck out on me because I had our app offline during the entire PLANNED maintenance window and not just a part of it Monday, February 13, 2017 11:03:38 AMTwitter Web Client
I was blackout by 4 pm yesterday and apparently was telling everyone I was drinking a "vodka soda splash of tequila" Sunday, February 12, 2017 11:45:17 AMTwitter for Android
šŸŽµCould you look me in the eyeeee.... And tell me that you're happy nowšŸŽµ Sunday, January 29, 2017 4:13:30 AMTwitter for Android
My wedding photographer is chillin with us tonight. She's a hotter, less hood version of our HR office girl Saturday, January 28, 2017 9:47:44 PMTwitter for Android
Apologies to my Twitter followers for angry NYC tweets or no tweets (when I'm happy) we need more silly shit Saturday, January 28, 2017 9:00:37 PMTwitter for Android
@BofA_Help appreciate it!
In reply to @BofA_Help's tweet
Thursday, January 26, 2017 5:48:35 PMTwitter for Android
Work laptop battery died and don't have my brick. Didn't finish 9am presentation </welp> Thursday, January 26, 2017 1:40:47 AMTwitter for Android
We're all the same shit: https://t.co/CjWSuvRAPe Friday, January 13, 2017 12:19:15 AMTwitter for Android
You're rapping about homosexuals and Vicodin. I can't sell this shit. https://t.co/wGr8NGzJai Thursday, January 12, 2017 9:22:05 PMTwitter for Android
You know why Dre's record was so successful? He's rapping about big screen TVs, blunts, 40s & bitches. Thursday, January 12, 2017 9:21:27 PMTwitter for Android
This crazy Japanese dude just spent $632,000 on a tuna fish. Comes out to $1356/lb to break even. Flat out nuts https://t.co/tU4f9zl4uB Thursday, January 05, 2017 2:47:06 PMTwitter Web Client
Couple hours before midnight and I'm like wastey. Dafuq did that happen? Saturday, December 31, 2016 9:48:33 PMTwitter for Android
Happy winter solstice! ⛄ Wednesday, December 21, 2016 5:45:15 AMIFTTT
The railroad telling me to refrain from inappropriate language is hysterical. Y you pay some poor soul to answer social media at 10? Monday, December 19, 2016 10:17:36 PMTwitter for Android
RT @MetroNorth: @portfolioso As a reminder, this is a public site and we ask all users to refrain from inappropriate language. Monday, December 19, 2016 10:12:55 PMTwitter for Android
@MetroNorth Apologies. My Twitter is a satire account and is marked as possibly inappropriate.
In reply to @MetroNorth's tweet
Monday, December 19, 2016 10:10:53 PMTwitter for Android
@KFCBarstool fuck you Clancy. iPhones are for saps
In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet
Saturday, December 17, 2016 9:26:03 PMTwitter for Android
Just broke a glass at the bar. Swear to God that never happens Tuesday, December 13, 2016 12:07:44 AMTwitter for Android
Happy Monday @MetroNorth running like delays and shit as per usual #cunts Monday, December 12, 2016 8:34:55 AMTwitter for Android
@timehop should fix the UI in the Android app when there's no network but the carrier still reports 4G. Looks absolutely vile. Be better https://t.co/Hkc7ZXFZQK Monday, December 12, 2016 8:24:16 AMTwitter for Android
Hey, @googlephotos. Pretty buggy UX on the Android app. How can I get in touch with someone about my issues? https://t.co/YjMP6KifYH Monday, December 12, 2016 1:10:20 AMTwitter for Android
Yo @MetroNorth fix ya crappy 90s looking website and make your schedules work https://t.co/Hpzl0Ay72v Wednesday, December 07, 2016 12:34:36 PMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu Scrape all the data and make a visualization
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Friday, December 02, 2016 11:29:56 AMTwitter Web Client
"I made my family disappear!" -Kevin McCallister Sunday, November 27, 2016 9:40:13 PMTwitter for Android
Gotta love Westchester. Will you landscapers shut the fuck up at 9:45 am the day after Thanksgiving? Trying to sleep in here Friday, November 25, 2016 9:43:09 AMTwitter for Android
This miserab disapproves of everything I do. Eh. Whatever. People's opinions are their problem. I'm more than thankful and happy Thursday, November 24, 2016 10:57:33 PMTwitter for Android
Stop installing this shit on my laptop via policy to eat my CPU cycles https://t.co/CVOAoa2iZG Wednesday, November 23, 2016 10:22:10 AMTwitter Web Client
It's 2016. If you still use a SOAP API, you're an asshole. Fuckin shit is so clunky and repetitive it's not even funny Tuesday, November 08, 2016 4:50:19 PMTwitter Web Client
What kind of dumb bitch pages the oncall for an incident that happened and fixed itself an hour ago? Saturday, October 22, 2016 6:54:55 AMTwitter for Android
Absolute horseshit on this article. Ain't no way Manhattan, Jersey City & Brooklyn are happy places to work: https://t.co/pes3sygRxo Tuesday, October 11, 2016 12:07:41 PMTwitter Web Client
Picked the wrong week to come into the office. The pen testers are here and will discover all my bullshit I have on my work laptop. Monday, October 10, 2016 5:10:34 PMTwitter Web Client
Columbus day: A day to celebrate an Italian dude working for Spain who raped and murdered Native Americans Monday, October 10, 2016 1:00:54 PMTwitter Web Client
This flight attendant is mad rachet about airplane mode and checking seatbelts. Legit woke someone up with a bag in her lap to check. Saturday, September 17, 2016 3:22:59 PMTwitter for Android
Motorola killed the headphone jack on the Moto Z a couple weeks before Apple did, but obviously it's only a big deal when Apple does it. Wednesday, September 07, 2016 10:38:12 PMTwitter for Android
These clouds are fucking up my view of Venus and Jupiter overlapping https://t.co/C3zecoKHTN Saturday, August 27, 2016 7:53:04 PMTwitter for Android
It's convoluted how Azure VMs are backed up or snapshotted. Holy Christ. Monday, August 22, 2016 2:00:27 AMTwitter Web Client
I apologize in advance for my tweets later tonight #sorrynotsorry Friday, August 19, 2016 3:20:52 PMTwitter Web Client
My desk has empty solo cups on it and is sticky. Wanted to grab a coffee. There's no milk in the fridge but there's Colt 45. Happy Monday Monday, August 15, 2016 9:51:31 AMTwitter Web Client
I want to watch the meteor shower but it's cloudy and thunderstorming. This always happens. Friday, August 12, 2016 12:16:34 AMTwitter Web Client
Still have no internet since Thursday. Thanks Time Warner. Promised me a call two days in a row from a supervisor. Never happened. Sunday, July 31, 2016 11:10:27 PMTwitter for Android
I am going absolutely apeshit on this poor phone tech Friday, July 29, 2016 6:55:34 PMTwitter for Android
@TWC_NYNJ 2 hours and you can't even get a modem activated. Swapped out my modem because it stopped working after your outage yesterday. F- Friday, July 29, 2016 12:51:22 PMTwitter for Android
At the Guns N Roses concert. Just played Civil War. Which is what'll happen to America if Trump wins Saturday, July 23, 2016 11:17:51 PMTwitter for Android
Wait a sec. I never actually authorized Niantic to my Google account and I don't see it listed as having access under connected apps DAFUQ Monday, July 11, 2016 6:56:32 PMTwitter for Android
"Forced to buy more storage they'll never use?" Idiotic. You can fill up 16GB in 2 seconds. I agree with Apple https://t.co/MwVgFL4Kph Sunday, July 10, 2016 2:52:53 PMTwitter Web Client
See here's the thing. 100% of airport workers in the Bahamas are the happiest people alive. 100% of airport workers in JFK or LGA are cunts Saturday, July 02, 2016 3:01:44 PMTwitter for Android
Some player has to invent a better WiFi standard where you can hop between APs like cell towers. Because it's horrid https://t.co/lkzxmeseh9 Thursday, June 30, 2016 9:45:54 PMTwitter for Android
Snapchat has a horse shit UI. Kids of tomorrow are gonna create apps like this? We're fucked. Tuesday, June 21, 2016 10:00:32 PMTwitter for Android
Happy summer solstice full moon day! Monday, June 20, 2016 8:44:16 PMTwitter for Android
Really happy Cleveland's got more than this going for them now: https://t.co/slSg2u3hmO Monday, June 20, 2016 1:04:20 AMTwitter for Android
Pluto's tight, son https://t.co/8obW8qnFAP Friday, May 27, 2016 2:44:06 PMTwitter Web Client
Happy Friyay Friday, May 27, 2016 8:44:27 AMTwitter for Android
RT @PeruvianPrncs: Help! What's a filter on Snapchat? How do I engage our clients on it? #oldmillenial #pdxdms Thursday, May 26, 2016 12:32:20 AMTwitter for Android
Is there any way to see what I just Snapchated? Because I'm pretty sure I won't remember this in the am or 5 mins from now... #oldmillenial Wednesday, May 25, 2016 10:36:37 PMTwitter for Android
I don't understand how the Snapchat works. #oldmillenial Wednesday, May 25, 2016 10:25:58 PMTwitter for Android
I just tried to photo bomb a Snapchat and got crossed out before being sent. Little #butthurt Wednesday, May 25, 2016 10:23:26 PMTwitter for Android
Yo @twitter. Fix the bug in your Android app where scrolling through multiple pics in one tweet lags the shit out of my phone Wednesday, May 25, 2016 9:26:34 PMTwitter for Android
Happy Monday, cunts #thefuckingsubway Monday, May 09, 2016 9:24:10 AMTwitter for Android
Oh for fuck's sake. Just found out that one of our apps has a different version of redis on the master than the slave. Friday, May 06, 2016 11:49:20 AMTwitter Web Client
Damn auto inserting tracking hashtags from my app I forgot to delete.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, April 28, 2016 2:33:33 AMTwitter for Android
Because I'm a nostalgic degenerate, just ordered a Bud Light bottle at the bar because it reminded me of the Grape Thursday, April 28, 2016 2:06:28 AMTwitter for Android
The NYC subway is so bad, my hashtag #thefuckingsubway crashes my Twitter app on Android. Tuesday, April 26, 2016 9:09:05 AMTwitter for Android
What kind of stupid fuckin system doesn't show you a summary of your appointment time on the thank you screen after you schedule something? Tuesday, April 26, 2016 1:08:08 AMTwitter Web Client
Happy Monday! #YOLO https://t.co/jf6AdbCOKn Monday, April 25, 2016 9:12:12 AMTwitter for Android
THUNDER ROADDDDDD (@ Irish American - @theiapub in New York, NY) https://t.co/oW79fxy1SN https://t.co/Kj2e7BqjVt Thursday, April 07, 2016 8:41:41 PMFoursquare
Happy Opening Day (Take 2)! Tuesday, April 05, 2016 1:02:55 PMTwitter Web Client
I appreciate how Ahmed had to check my baggage claim ticket before letting me leave LaGuardia with my bags #highsecurity #OnlyInNewYork Monday, March 28, 2016 10:18:36 PMTwitter for Android
I appreciate how Ahmed had to check my baggage claim ticket before letting me leave LaGuardia with my bags #highsecurity #OnlyOnNewYork Monday, March 28, 2016 10:12:59 PMTwitter for Android
@RockNationRadio but what ever happened with Guns N Roses and bringing Slash back?
In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet
Monday, March 28, 2016 12:33:35 PMTwitter for Android
Probably need to rebuild my VPS because fuckin apt-get is a piece of shit and fucked up all my mysql dependencies #forfuckssake Monday, March 28, 2016 12:25:20 AMTwitter Web Client
Happy Easter šŸ‡šŸ£ https://t.co/UyhpEXNkKo Sunday, March 27, 2016 10:34:04 AMTwitter for Android
Rather that using a REST client on Android to check in privately w/ Swarm's API, I just made a dashboard for myself in php. #winning Saturday, March 26, 2016 3:31:13 PMTwitter for Android
@swarmapp was fixed in an update. Thanks
In reply to @swarmapp's tweet
Saturday, March 26, 2016 11:04:05 AMTwitter for Android
@swarmapp New profile page crashes on my Moto X Pure (Android 6.0), even after clearing all app data.
In reply to @swarmapp's tweet
Thursday, March 24, 2016 4:39:11 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin Google sheets. I shouldn't be able to completely crash and hang your web app locally with a specially crafted use of functions... Monday, February 29, 2016 11:29:31 PMTwitter Web Client
Happy Leap Day. More importantly, Happy Birthday Ja Rule. Monday, February 29, 2016 8:42:03 AMTwitter for Android
What's a better Karaoke/Rap name for Freddy? Friday, February 26, 2016 11:32:06 PMTwitter for Android
Will SmithĀ don't gottaĀ cussĀ in his raps to sellĀ records; Well IĀ do, soĀ fuck himĀ andĀ fuck you too! Friday, February 26, 2016 12:43:20 AMTwitter for Android
SECURITY GUY. TERMINATED
https://t.co/0exgAApyCI
Friday, February 19, 2016 5:42:17 PMTwitter Web Client
What kind of dumb bitch works from home on his last day? I need your RSA token and laptop back idiot. And it's the security guy. Real secure Friday, February 19, 2016 10:33:18 AMTwitter Web Client
Testing this shit from a python script using the Twitter API Monday, February 01, 2016 1:09:10 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
Society is bullshit and almost everything is a disappointment. Good night. Saturday, January 30, 2016 1:39:47 AMTwitter for Android
Any dev writing software who stores settings in the registry, %appdata% or ProgramData under their first/last name is an asshole. Thursday, January 28, 2016 1:38:03 PMTwitter Web Client
You've got @LonnieQuinnTV yappin about icebergs floating down the street down the shore. Iceberg! Dead ahead! Saturday, January 23, 2016 3:43:48 PMTwitter for Android
Yo @Microsoft, <3 you guys but @Skype 7.18.0.109 is a crashy, unstable piece of crap on Windows 10. k thx bye Thursday, January 21, 2016 12:27:25 PMTwitter Web Client
I've got 1TB worth of 94 million API logs for 29 days and they can all go fuck themselves Tuesday, January 12, 2016 10:37:27 PMTwitter Web Client
Microsoft Edge is pretty tight. Like, > Chrome. Attn Apple Fanboys: I'm about to be a @Windows fanboy. How you like it now? #Windows10 Friday, January 08, 2016 1:44:43 AMTwitter Web Client
I don't think you actually understand my new appreciation for trees. Fantastic Windows 10 lock screen spotlight pic. https://t.co/Tc6k8GV7eR Friday, January 08, 2016 1:26:44 AMTwitter Web Client
The fuck happened last night? Friday, January 01, 2016 11:34:17 AMTwitter for Android
My man crush Paul O'Neill dapper AF this new year's https://t.co/i8YGkE2arp Thursday, December 31, 2015 8:52:58 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: Miserable UX on https://t.co/YQCLXv1yb4 and It's Android App https://t.co/ASs5u50Tig Sunday, December 27, 2015 11:46:10 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
Happy birffday to me! https://t.co/iRfNHf2aK5 Friday, December 25, 2015 1:33:52 PMTwitter Web Client
Facebook app does A/B tests. Found in debugger: com.facebook.messaging.abtest.GeneratedLauncherBadgeDataSourceExperiment@6760e13 occurred Wednesday, December 23, 2015 6:53:46 PMTwitter Web Client
My eyes are itching from the fucking cat in this apartment and I still don't have my hot dog. Sunday, December 13, 2015 8:22:10 PMTwitter for Android
We're unwrapping Vinny's present now Thursday, December 10, 2015 8:06:37 PMTwitter for Android
Mastered the art of falling asleep standing up on the subway where my leg starts collapsing and I spazz wake up and scare people. Wednesday, December 09, 2015 5:56:38 PMTwitter for Android
Besides the new San Fran Apple TV flyby, Apple TV screensaver is lame as fuck and repeats the save 7 pics over and over. #chromecastftw Sunday, December 06, 2015 8:16:48 PMTwitter for Android
Just found out from @MalJNew Scott Wieland kicked it. My first reaction "Jesus fucking Christ I knew that'd happen at some point" Friday, December 04, 2015 1:32:31 AMTwitter for Android
Someone needs to tape this asshole's mouth shut until she starves to death https://t.co/WsjvnNmu60 Saturday, November 28, 2015 1:30:33 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck Apple for their "lives photo" marketing scheme. It's a goddamn glorified video. Friday, November 20, 2015 12:33:08 AMTwitter for Android
Enraged at something that happened at work. "Speak softly and carry a big stick..." I will do that. Later, I'll shove it up their fuckin ass Wednesday, October 28, 2015 2:35:01 PMTwitter Web Client
I changed my email, then changed it back. Now it's texting me fuckin verification codes instead of using the app #failwhale Saturday, October 24, 2015 9:50:42 PMTwitter Web Client
@ky9 So positive, I like it! Wouldn't happen to be Twitter inspired eh? We go alllll the way back on Twitter. #OG
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Wednesday, October 21, 2015 11:31:21 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus fucking Christ ISIS, I can assure you Allah doesn't want you going around raping people and having sex slaves http://t.co/WM3Bq6IuCv Monday, October 12, 2015 1:03:27 AMTwitter for Android
This gravity rap/techno song on Bill Nye the Science Guy is so 90s and awesome and made of win. Friday, October 02, 2015 8:31:11 PMTwitter for Android
Fully blame the karaoke guy's Mets wallpaper for crashing the karaoke app Saturday, September 19, 2015 12:15:29 AMTwitter for Android
Subway is legit parked right now. #mtaproblems Wednesday, September 16, 2015 8:55:25 AMTwitter for Android
OMG. Everything was configured just fine, but it's because they merged fuckin code in from 3 versions ago and the app broke. #shitsgottastop Thursday, September 03, 2015 5:27:58 AMTwitter Web Client
Why the fuck does Windows 10 keep automatically installing the "Get Office" app. I uninstalled it twice and I already have office. GTFO Tuesday, August 04, 2015 10:13:44 PMTwitter Web Client
Is it me, or is Google and Google Maps down/really slow right now? Had to use Bing and it worked like a charm Sunday, August 02, 2015 12:38:26 PMTwitter Web Client
I legit lugged three laptops home from the bar #felloffthetruck #justkidding Tuesday, July 28, 2015 12:24:26 AMTwitter for Android
Better not disappoint. https://t.co/2A4QIMSkFE Monday, July 27, 2015 1:35:32 PMTwitter Web Client
Can't even filter by "submitted by" for user stories in our agile tracking software. Piece of crap Friday, July 24, 2015 1:42:22 PMTwitter Web Client
"I take one lens out so I can wink at bitches" http://t.co/cfya7o5Ap3 Tuesday, July 21, 2015 8:32:07 PMTwitter for Android
Confirmed: The Minion in the McDonalds happy meal does indeed say "what the fuck." Saturday, July 18, 2015 9:48:21 PMTwitter for Android
Why did the @googlecalendar Android app use 18% of my battery today and I didn't even open it once. Come on http://t.co/MLvjTUd0hL Wednesday, July 15, 2015 3:00:59 PMTwitter for Android
I picked tonight as my drinking night because I have an extra leap second to sober up, cunts. Tuesday, June 30, 2015 10:48:04 PMTwitter for Android
A+ mix from the All-Star Rapalong category on @GooglePlayMusic. Happy Tuesday! http://t.co/22uP5hosd5 Tuesday, June 30, 2015 8:31:26 AMTwitter for Android
I think I legit blacked out at the ATM. Don't remember taking my money from the slot, but apparently, I have it. Tuesday, June 16, 2015 3:55:19 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm at Cape May Washington Commons in West Cape May, NJ w/ @maljnew https://t.co/LuhX7Yy5Fw Saturday, June 13, 2015 7:45:07 PMFoursquare
@mustang_sarah @google @googlecalendar doesn't happen on Android
In reply to @mustang_sarah's tweet
Thursday, June 11, 2015 4:07:57 PMTwitter for Android
I'll bet you this suit gets so hard when he clicks approve on change requests. MAD POWER BRO Tuesday, June 09, 2015 4:25:36 PMTwitter Web Client
This fucking guy... They should tape his mouth shut and let him starve to death http://t.co/RI63pUuuHo Tuesday, June 02, 2015 4:32:49 PMTwitter Web Client
Thought 2 on Google Photos: It's everything I disliked about Apple syncing photos to iCloud ;). Convenient but annoying Friday, May 29, 2015 1:50:21 PMTwitter Web Client
"Hi. You have one day to create a new build script and deploy a new app. It doesn't compile yet tho. BTW, let's sit in meetings for hours" Thursday, May 28, 2015 3:38:56 PMTwitter Web Client
I legit have no idea how to add people on Snapchat. Feel like a gramps Sunday, May 24, 2015 12:55:33 PMTwitter for Android
Happy bday @ky9!!!

-Sketch
PS - Cya at reunion
Saturday, May 23, 2015 8:09:04 PMTwitter for Android
This happened to me today. With alcohol. https://t.co/V3933wysxk Saturday, May 23, 2015 4:48:23 PMTwitter for Android
@TWC_Help want to tell me why your internet is down yet again? Chat said loose wires outside. why does this happens every week Sunday, May 17, 2015 12:02:12 PMTwitter for Android
Oh the Preakness... I may or may not have convinced a Jesuit to move a final exam for me back in '10 to make an appearance. Saturday, May 16, 2015 3:43:55 PMTwitter for Android
@Waspito android apps, google play TV shows/ movies/ books that work on android and can be chromecasted
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Friday, May 15, 2015 12:13:32 PMTwitter for Android
Happy Friday!
(PS our primary domain controller won't boot)
Friday, May 08, 2015 12:22:42 PMTwitter Web Client
DAT Snapchat doe Wednesday, May 06, 2015 10:27:34 PMTwitter for Android
GOOD. IT'S A PIECE OF SHIT... Google Apparently Exploring A Design Revision For Hangouts Chrome App: http://t.co/z9SsID1108 Tuesday, May 05, 2015 11:54:42 AMTwitter Web Client
Ain't got no time for people's bullshit here. Staying happy son! Monday, May 04, 2015 3:14:44 PMTwitter Web Client
Just uninstalled iTunes, Bonjour, Apple Mobile Device Support and Apple Updater. Shitty assed Windows programs I don't need anymore. Thursday, April 30, 2015 8:39:25 PMTwitter Web Client
once again did an update and seeing if it broke my twitter app. testing Friday, April 24, 2015 9:26:50 PMTwitter Web Client
Dude. Quiet. Nonstop yappin. Trying to work here Wednesday, April 15, 2015 9:38:17 AMTwitter Web Client
Sorry my new shortstop dude, you just can't make that Jeter running jumping play. Not happenin' Thursday, April 09, 2015 8:44:09 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 Happy opening day! You excited for your new and improved Mets? PS - Bartolo Colon is hysterical. Monday, April 06, 2015 11:21:43 AMTwitter Web Client
Happy Opening Day 2015! Monday, April 06, 2015 9:47:06 AMTwitter Web Client
Listening to "New Music" on Google Play. Apparently, there's a new three Days Grace album. Sounds like it's 2003 bros. So generic. Wednesday, April 01, 2015 11:53:32 AMTwitter Web Client
It's 2015. How about Windows Explorer doesn't fucking hang when a mapped drive isn't available. BEEN AN ISSUE SINCE THE 90s FIX IT Tuesday, March 24, 2015 2:10:08 PMTwitter Web Client
Just escaped the Hoboken PoPo Saturday, March 21, 2015 11:38:27 PMTwitter for Android
I'm like a grandpa trying to use an Apple TV. Chromecast FTW Monday, March 16, 2015 9:54:03 PMTwitter for Android

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