I'm pretty sure apples are not supposed to have veins running through them... http://t.co/D5aq30s

Monday, November 28, 2011 12:50:03 PM from Twitter for Android

Everyone always talks about #firstworldproblems. How about #thirdworldsuccesses? http://t.co/PWbznH8

Monday, November 28, 2011 01:29:06 AM from Twitter Web Client

Can I get the Galaxy Nexus now?

Sunday, November 27, 2011 11:41:54 PM from Twitter Web Client

Althought I'm pretty sure I puked like 3 pounds of stomach contents, so yay for losing weight

Sunday, November 27, 2011 06:43:07 AM from Twitter Web Client

I'm going to have to blame the fact that I yacked all over the place on 3AM Taco Bell... Not alcohol.... #i'magrossfucker

Sunday, November 27, 2011 06:42:07 AM from Twitter Web Client

dibs on the one in the corner. wahhhh

Sunday, November 27, 2011 05:11:09 AM from txt

feel like fuckin shit right now......

Sunday, November 27, 2011 03:43:31 AM from txt

So the Galaxy Nexus might only be $200? I don't give a fuck if it's $300. I need one and I needed it yesterday!

Saturday, November 26, 2011 02:46:10 AM from Twitter Web Client

Christ once said "let he who is without sin cast the first stone..." And then he stoned a mother fucker to death.

Saturday, November 26, 2011 02:05:49 AM from Twitter Web Client

New blog post: Anyone Who Goes Black Friday Shopping is Out of their Minds http://t.co/CxpACck

Friday, November 25, 2011 04:41:31 PM from Portfolioso.com Blog

@maljnew piglets are NOT like puppies

Friday, November 25, 2011 11:32:59 AM from Twitter Web Client

New blog post: More Reasons the MTA Doesn't Make Any Sense Whatsoever http://t.co/KxE1b6r

Friday, November 25, 2011 10:46:01 AM from Portfolioso.com Blog

apparently, Lady Gaga knows the difference between a forward slash and a backslash.

Thursday, November 24, 2011 10:08:16 PM from txt

My Grandpa: "He wanted to get his pants dancing"

Thursday, November 24, 2011 06:11:51 PM from txt

My knees ares pretty banged up. Hmmmm

Wednesday, November 23, 2011 10:48:27 PM from Twitter Web Client