Dear laptop fan: Shut the fuck up. You're not overheating and CPU use is 0%. So why are you running so loudly? kthxbye
Monday, September 05, 2011 06:34:35 PM from Twitter Web Client
I'm so hot in my new FB profile pic, I'd totally bang myself if I were me.
Monday, September 05, 2011 01:01:35 AM from Twitter Web Client
I am watching Entourage w/2234 others http://t.co/5DWbdcy @GetGlue @Entourage
I am watching Curb Your Enthusiasm w/1849 others http://t.co/jW4Oayw @GetGlue @CurbYourEnthusiasm
I feel so fuckin fat right now its not even funny. Today I ate more than four Ethiopians combined in a week. Need my stomach pumped.
Sunday, September 04, 2011 08:20:25 PM from Twitter for Android
I'm at Ciao! (5 John R Albanese Pl, Eastchester) http://4sq.com/nJTdT1
@novellabella fails at ñ
Sunday, September 04, 2011 11:29:44 AM from Twitter Web Client
Wake up. Leg itches. Feel huge ass bug on leg. knock it off. It's a gigantic spider. #winning
Sunday, September 04, 2011 02:42:51 AM from Twitter Web Client
Fuck... Me...
Sunday, September 04, 2011 01:31:05 AM from Twitter Web Client
Jeweler goes to change my watch battery (I'd do it myself but it was impossible to open) and scratched the fucking shit out of it. Asshole
Saturday, September 03, 2011 04:20:49 PM from Twitter for Android
ass. titties
Saturday, September 03, 2011 03:34:08 AM from Twitter Web Client
Quite possibly the greatest mob movie of all time. Love it http://t.co/vJTTCee @GetGlue #Casino
Nothing more awesome than two dudes shotgunning to the O.C theme song
Friday, September 02, 2011 11:22:17 PM from Twitter for Android
I'm at Nathan's Famous (2290 Central Park Ave, Crisfield St., Yonkers) http://4sq.com/pwEyR3
@Onethirdof3x5 what up homeskillet? Welcome back to Twitter
Friday, September 02, 2011 10:12:08 PM from Twitter for Android