Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit



136 results for balls


Tweet Date Source
Some pair of balls for @lyft to send a push notification telling me to update their app. I keep all my apps updated and don't even use Lyft much. Just because you released a major bug doesn't mean I want to be interrupted.

Maybe put the notification in the app instead https://t.co/k69yEK2zhF 		Friday, March 15, 2024 8:40:57 PMTwitter for Android
@FrankLaRose Frankie Boy! You have some pair of balls on you to post about #InternationalWomensDay while your voting record is of utmost disrespect to women, allows them no bodily autonomy and takes their rights away.

GET LAWST
In reply to @FrankLaRose's tweet
Friday, March 08, 2024 6:22:39 PMTwitter Web App
Someone tell me wtf is wrong with Windows 11's spell checker. It sucks BALLS. Any app that uses the OS native spell checking makes piss poor suggestions:

IE - dont (with no apostrophe suggests don'ts)

traffiv --> triffid (rather than traffic)

@Windows 		Sunday, December 10, 2023 10:25:02 PMTwitter Web App
@alexengineer10 Fully expected that reaction from you. That's why I was breaking balls. https://t.co/iFFq7sVrQB
In reply to @alexengineer10's tweet
Wednesday, November 15, 2023 7:07:10 PMTwitter for Android
@clickforohio Bru. This is the dumbest thing I've seen on the internet tonight. What in the literal balls are you even talking about?

So you support the fetuses, but based on your profile picture, you're good with Israel wiping an entire nation off the map and killing civilians?
In reply to @clickforohio's tweet
Sunday, October 29, 2023 12:55:45 AMTwitter for Android
@HeroDividend They have some pair of balls with those pre determined tip amounts
In reply to @HeroDividend's tweet
Friday, October 27, 2023 1:42:56 PMTwitter for Android
the last 3 weeks I had nothing to do at 10am and when I want to watch the fucking Google keynote, everyone at work is breaking my balls and I have a million meetings Wednesday, October 04, 2023 10:03:24 AMTwitter Web App
Do not EVER fucking update npm packages and do a pulumi refresh because it fucks your state file. Holy shit this is balls
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, October 03, 2023 4:18:07 PMTwitter Web App
Dude this place sucks balls. I'm not learning a goddamn thing, I'm using tech stacks I hate, half the fucking teams are in time zones where we can't collaborate, and when you ask for help no one fucking helps or trains you Thursday, May 05, 2022 1:18:38 PMTwitter Web App
LMAO the pair of balls on Putin to just steal Kraft's Superbowl ring so nonchalantly and then the US forced him to say it was a gift. This is a bananas storyhttps://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nba/vladimir-putin-stole-a-super-bowl-ring-from-robert-kraft/ar-AAVsduk Thursday, March 24, 2022 1:15:30 PMTwitter Web App
So I'm watching the Olympics. You think these figure skater dudes like tape their balls to their legs? Because you don't see any balls and there have to be balls, amirite? Saturday, February 12, 2022 10:21:53 PMTwitter for Android
ELON you absolute SAVAGE. This guy has some pair of balls on him. The absolute cockiness and pettiness is outside of control. I usually want to hate on Elon but this is just hilarious.

https://t.co/bsxWD5MCvD 		Thursday, September 30, 2021 12:06:21 AMTwitter for Android
Good. Someone finally had the balls to tell Apple and their proprietary bullshit lightning charger, to go fuck themselves.

https://t.co/Qhm6Ncs8Ec 		Thursday, September 23, 2021 11:44:49 PMTwitter for Android
This is pretty savage. Finally Google with some balls. They're like: "Eat my asshole, Roku" https://t.co/gwPnEBQcRz Saturday, May 08, 2021 11:42:40 PMTwitter for Android
Forget normal mushrooms on Mars. The real question is... Are they magic mushrooms? Can I go to Mars and trip balls? https://t.co/MDQxqVS6Zu Friday, May 07, 2021 9:04:53 PMTwitter for Android
@AjitPai My mind is blown that you kept your Twitter! I only really followed you to break balls about your policies, but it's like you never left us! Except now, minus the Trumpism!

Any plans to get back to that law career with huge corporations to fight the atrocities of the evil left?
In reply to @AjitPai's tweet
Friday, January 22, 2021 1:45:14 AMTwitter Web App
El Gary needs to get his life together. I can't have my starting catcher hitting .1250 with a million passed balls. Do better or get the fuck off the team

https://t.co/Vj8Om6HzCT 		Saturday, January 02, 2021 1:45:14 PMTwitter for Android
Stop breaking my fucking balls, Jesus Christ. Every 5 seconds I have to get up and bring you something like I'm a goddamn servant. Get off your ass and leave me alone. I don't ask for 900 things all day long. FUCK Wednesday, July 29, 2020 11:10:57 PMTwitter for Android
This construction guy dicking around with some utility thing in the middle of my town's most dangerous intersection didn't give a FUCK when the light turned green. Told cars to drive around him. Balls. https://t.co/L6Wz08BIAw Wednesday, May 06, 2020 10:36:05 PMTwitter for Android
Disney just pulled it's huge dick out and put it's balls all over Netflix's face Tuesday, November 12, 2019 9:08:14 PMTwitter for Android
Some pair of balls trying to socially engineer dumb people into getting useless push notifications from "Bob's WordPress blog" @onesignal

Maybe we chose to decline initially on purpose. https://t.co/UnPaLDtH7N 		Wednesday, October 09, 2019 11:43:01 PMTwitter for Android
Yo these Vorticon Elite can suck my absolute dick. This level is a pain in the balls. Not only do I have to navigate fire, there are three of these fuckers who jump and take 3 shots to kill. Plus Keen 1-3 controls are awful https://t.co/8rS5tIE72F Monday, August 27, 2018 12:27:06 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Google Chrome Sucks Balls at Multi-Monitor/ Multi-DPI Settings on Windows 10 https://t.co/3jootIQ3iW Tuesday, March 27, 2018 6:25:49 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
Wow Verizon wireless speeds suck balls at Jones Beach rn. Come on Tuesday, August 15, 2017 3:09:15 PMTwitter for Android
I mean, I suck balls at drinking and normally can't go hard. But if you ever think I'm the first to go to bed at a bachelor party, you're bs Saturday, August 12, 2017 1:32:46 AMTwitter for Android
Can you imagine the pair of balls to tell me this? Guess what. My lunches now been upgraded to 1.5 hours. https://t.co/SCyj1kuTqm Friday, July 14, 2017 7:43:27 AMTwitter for Android
This beer has a hint of moth balls and earth Monday, July 03, 2017 11:25:19 PMTwitter for Android
My Netflix is trippin balls rn https://t.co/qp5eVdEQmm Sunday, March 12, 2017 7:39:01 PMTwitter for Android
#thefuckinsubway never works right and 100% of yellow cabs never have the A/C on. #sweatingballs gotta get out of this cess pool city Monday, July 25, 2016 10:00:52 PMTwitter for Android
Smells like old man balls on this train Monday, July 11, 2016 8:18:25 AMTwitter for Android
Some pair of balls to run your meeting 45 minutes over Thursday, June 02, 2016 4:31:11 PMTwitter for Android
Hot as balls on this R #thefuckingsubway Thursday, March 10, 2016 9:04:41 AMTwitter for Android
I don't get why this ignoramus is breaking my balls when his last day is tomorrow. We'd benefit more if he did NOTHING. cc @XtinaSchelin Thursday, February 18, 2016 9:41:32 AMTwitter Web Client
Left lookups in excel are a pain in my ballsack right now Wednesday, January 06, 2016 9:14:18 PMTwitter Web Client
Fucking global warming. Someone put the AC on, its hot as balls in here Sunday, December 13, 2015 7:42:35 PMTwitter for Android
Anyone else notice that PCs (Windows 8/10) suck balls with Bluetooth devices? Like they rarely connect and always fuck up. Someone fix it. Monday, October 12, 2015 9:59:36 AMTwitter Web Client
"You gonna pusheen these fuckin balls?" #Keith2015 Saturday, May 02, 2015 10:09:40 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck I'm supposed to get up at 7 for work tomorrow, right? #balls Friday, November 21, 2014 12:50:50 AMTwitter for Android
Lol balls. #BookerOlympics http://t.co/wXLfptysBE Thursday, August 14, 2014 1:53:53 PMTwitter for Android
I'm too drunk for fuckin curve balls. the fuck Monday, July 14, 2014 1:18:10 AMTwitter for Android
Nuno you fuckin amateur hour. If my team wasn't the fuckin hospital team, maybe we wouldn't suck balls and lose to los mets Tuesday, May 13, 2014 8:14:12 PMTwitter for Android
@Waspito Linkin Park's last two albums suck balls
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Monday, April 21, 2014 5:26:41 PMTwitter for Android
Gio and I can't stop talking about balls Thursday, March 20, 2014 10:14:21 PMTwitter for Android
My balls are shriveling waiting for this late asses train. #MTA Tuesday, March 04, 2014 7:38:48 AMTwitter for Android
@kerbear88 Tsk tsk. Project managers... All they do is break engineers' balls and set unrealistic expectations ;)
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Tuesday, January 14, 2014 3:53:21 PMTwitter Web Client
9 degrees out and I'm sweating balls at my desk and have a fan on Tuesday, January 07, 2014 5:12:05 PMTwitter Web Client
There are two goofballs who have not stepped away from our XBox all morning #MailTime Monday, December 23, 2013 11:46:09 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin Penn Station is hot as balls Friday, December 20, 2013 5:51:05 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ Google, you suck balls. Nice error message, you redundant fuck http://t.co/a6zFL7UhgJ Monday, October 07, 2013 10:02:36 AMTwitter Web Client
@KeriAHarrison he's gonna suck balls tonight.
In reply to @KeriAHarrison's tweet
Thursday, September 12, 2013 3:26:57 PMTwitter for Android
Drinking sucks balls. I could totally replace it with.... Something else Wednesday, September 04, 2013 11:40:20 PMTwitter for Android
What dumb bastard thought it was good to make a Bronx brewery? Beers, like the entire boro, suck ballsssssss Thursday, August 29, 2013 9:22:05 PMtxt
Protip: The RackSpace Cloud sucks balls. Do not use it Wednesday, August 28, 2013 3:57:11 PMTwitter Web Client
Memphis fuck house? Kansas blue balls? Wednesday, July 03, 2013 10:49:19 PMTwitter for Android
I'm doing fireballs in honor of James Gandolfini. #TonySoprano #KillerKane Wednesday, June 19, 2013 9:30:35 PMTwitter for Android
See this is exactly the reason I don't drink out of hotel cups. John: "let's see if we can fit our dick and balls in this cup" Friday, June 14, 2013 10:45:26 AMTwitter for Android
Also, these stumble in property balls are like feathers. Lemmie get a real one Tuesday, June 11, 2013 7:27:43 PMTwitter for Android
Balls Sunday, June 09, 2013 5:09:03 PMTwitter for Android
Derick: "Balls is where they come from" Thursday, May 16, 2013 7:48:32 PMTwitter for Android
Holy balls... Just tried the x86 Android emulator and it's fast as shit. Thursday, May 16, 2013 5:05:57 PMTwitter Web Client
Paula: "What happened with the big balls?" Hughlon: "I can't answer that, it's an HR problem." Monday, May 13, 2013 12:19:26 PMTwitter Web Client
Aniusha keeps talking about waxing balls Thursday, April 11, 2013 9:09:34 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking Google sucks balls lately Monday, March 18, 2013 4:30:47 PMTwitter Web Client
K smells like old man sweaty balls (not that I know what that smells like) Wednesday, March 13, 2013 12:45:18 PMTwitter Web Client
Just played the illest ping pong game with Hughlon. Turned into LOBBY PONG. Where we were spiking ping pong balls across the lobby. SICK Friday, March 08, 2013 3:45:14 PMTwitter Web Client
Okay.. This dude is like drying his balls on the hand dryer in this bathroom. The fuck... Friday, February 15, 2013 11:17:38 PMTwitter for Android
I'm homosexual for 90s rock. Like even songs I don't recognize sound amazeballs Friday, February 15, 2013 10:53:21 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin TK is back? Well this sucks balls. So good in her absence Friday, December 28, 2012 9:00:36 AMTwitter Web Client
Shit. Pretty sire I was air drumming my balls off Friday, December 28, 2012 2:09:31 AMTwitter for Android
If you smell like piss-soaked, cheesy ballsack with shit on top, please refrain from using the subway. People like this should be killed.Thx Friday, November 30, 2012 9:30:54 AMTwitter Web Client
My lungs hurt and this train is hot as ballsack. Heat should be banned on trains. Sunday, November 25, 2012 6:52:11 PMTwitter for Android
Ihhh. Gin and cider tastes like ballllsack. Not that I ever licked balls Wednesday, November 21, 2012 10:31:00 PMTwitter for Android
Well balls. Went to a bar in Gramercy and need to be back in the financial district like now. Still here. Oops Monday, November 12, 2012 1:35:46 PMTwitter for Android
new version of twitter tools sucks balls. Will not use (it's for my tweets app). I do like how they fixed the datetime issue though Friday, October 26, 2012 1:36:16 PMTwitter Web Client
"going to lose the whole day playing with joes balls"-pat "you can do anything you want with joes balls"-mal Friday, October 19, 2012 11:17:26 AMTwitter Web Client
Everyone loves my balls. They all want to play with them Friday, October 19, 2012 9:19:15 AMTwitter Web Client
Tell elise I want my balls back Thursday, October 18, 2012 4:10:06 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm such a dumb bitch. Lost my buckyballs and thought someone stole them and they were around my neck Wednesday, October 17, 2012 2:56:30 PMTwitter Web Client
Just bought a bunch of buckyballs for $5 #lovetheballs #jk Thursday, September 20, 2012 3:25:01 PMTwitter Web Client
I like the word amazeballs. Have to start using it more. Sunday, September 16, 2012 11:04:31 AMTwitter Web Client
Dish 2: Meatballs sausage and gravy on a roll, with a side of fresh mozzarella tomato and basil Friday, August 31, 2012 6:18:14 PMTwitter for Android
So pumped for grandma's gravy, basil, meatballs and sausage Friday, August 31, 2012 4:38:24 PMTwitter for Android
Oh man.. I'm just fuckin breaking balls right now. So fired Wednesday, August 08, 2012 12:15:25 AMTwitter Web Client
@Colithika Dude, y u struggle so much. I remember catching mewtwo in March 1999. Had 1/4 HP and was frozen. Then I used 2 Ultra Balls
In reply to @Colithika's tweet
Wednesday, July 18, 2012 2:22:46 AMTwitter Web Client
Ain't nothing wrong with a little sass for the COO. Especially when you've got em by the balls. Although I do want his swagger. So hot. Friday, June 08, 2012 12:19:34 AMTwitter Web Client
I've got these fuckers hey the balls and they know it. And they'll do whatever the fuck I say. Because I'm right. And the shit Thursday, June 07, 2012 10:29:36 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin muggy, rainy nasty and 7 million degrees. Sweating balls. This is disgusting. Crank the AC in this bitch Wednesday, May 09, 2012 8:24:59 AMTwitter for Android
New blog post: How Unlucky Do You Have to Be To Get Struck In the Balls By Lightning? http://bit.ly/JX5YI4 Monday, May 07, 2012 10:29:14 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
I'd bet my dick and both balls that I'm going to lose internet between crestwood and scarsdale Wednesday, March 21, 2012 9:34:30 PMTwitter for Android
godaddy fuckin sucks balls. You need a PhD to switch from nameservers to managing your own zone file Tuesday, February 21, 2012 1:43:47 AMTwitter Web Client
I was supposed to work from home tomorrow, but my VP is a Packers fan so I'm gonna go in just to break his balls. I'm buying him cheese, too Sunday, January 15, 2012 8:08:54 PMTwitter for Android
These Republican candidates are all fuck ups. Except for the guy Fox News is ignoring.... #thiscountrysucksballs Thursday, December 15, 2011 10:43:48 PMTwitter for Android
This lousy bitch still calls me and breaks my balls on her day off for things that she should have handled last Friday.... What a b Monday, December 12, 2011 1:47:38 PMTwitter Web Client
mother fucker. i messed up again. checking in to twitter from a dumbphone sucks balls Saturday, December 03, 2011 9:25:21 PMtxt
Balls all over the office Tuesday, November 08, 2011 4:08:48 PMTwitter Web Client
It also doesn't help that the Droid 1's feeble CPU sucks ballsack and lags at running Angry Birds seasons. Even overclocked,it blows. Wednesday, September 21, 2011 1:52:36 AMTwitter Web Client
What is this fuckin Granderson doing, dropping routine fly balls (in the stupifd assed marshmallow ceiling) and throwing the ball away. Tuesday, July 19, 2011 9:40:17 PMTwitter Web Client
Get the fuck away from my desk you old pain in the balls. I just got in and got attacked. Tuesday, April 26, 2011 9:49:44 AMTwitter for Android
New blog post: This Professor's Got Some Pair of Balls http://bit.ly/hQZMaE Sunday, March 20, 2011 10:01:01 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. What the fuck did they do to uTorrent? New update's theme looks like balls. Sunday, December 12, 2010 11:30:13 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Cablevision Still Sucks Balls http://bit.ly/caMdwd Sunday, October 17, 2010 11:03:04 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
@Waspito accounting sucks balls. If I only took accounting classes, id fail out of college in 5 minutes
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Thursday, September 09, 2010 8:47:57 AMTwitter for Android
@Waspito HA I don't give a crap, just breaking balls
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Sunday, August 22, 2010 11:03:12 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Another Reason Phillies Fans Suck Balls http://blog.portfolioso.com/2010/08/16/another-reason-phillies-fans-suck-balls/ Monday, August 16, 2010 8:46:45 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
John: "Mother fuck." Me: "Ballsack bitch" Monday, July 19, 2010 3:12:01 PMtwidroid
@waspito happy birffday. Have fun for me, because I'll be sweating balls around the EHS basement Wednesday, July 14, 2010 2:15:54 AMTwitter Web Client
Let it pour. As J Munz would say, its been drier than a camel's ballsack around here Tuesday, July 13, 2010 1:50:29 PMtwidroid
Upstate hitting golf balls in the woods with a lead pipe. So ghetto, yet entertaining Saturday, July 10, 2010 4:27:39 PMtwidroid
John: "this marker is drier than a camel's ballsack" Wednesday, July 07, 2010 12:09:50 PMtwidroid
A.J BURNETT CAN SUCK MY FUCKING BALLS Monday, June 21, 2010 10:26:12 PMTwitter Web Client
Verizon signal sucks balls here in franklin square Sunday, June 06, 2010 2:00:36 AMtwidroid
Even though I was purposly a complete dick to this guy, I give him mucho cred for calling me out. He grew balls over the years Thursday, May 20, 2010 6:53:17 PMtwidroid
Somebody get me these centerpiece balls! Wednesday, May 19, 2010 10:33:06 PMtwidroid
This is absolute BALLS. Saturday, May 08, 2010 3:54:26 PMTwitter Web Client
3g Verizon in connecticut sux balls. Ny is so much better Wednesday, May 05, 2010 11:42:44 PMtwidroid
@Waspito Stop watching American Idol and grow balls Wednesday, March 24, 2010 10:09:34 PMTwitter Web Client
The internet on this campus. Fucking. Sucks. balls. http://www.speedtest.net/result/706045084.png Thursday, February 04, 2010 4:35:55 PMTwitter Web Client
@ky9 Anything to break the balls of Los Mets
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Tuesday, December 22, 2009 2:50:39 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @Colithika: The balls on this campus sucks INTERNET Saturday, December 12, 2009 3:02:53 PMTwitter Web Client
The internet on this campus sucks BALLS Friday, December 11, 2009 4:18:43 PMTwitter Web Client
i love staying at the swamp because it's always chilly (unlike my townhouse where i sweat balls because the heat gets pumped to 75) Friday, November 13, 2009 1:38:43 AMtxt
I've had it up to here with these hot as ballsack DSB classrooms. Thursday, September 24, 2009 3:30:24 PMtxt
I move in at 9AM tomorrow and they make us start training at 2PM. I have a whole house to set up. They have some set of fuckin balls Monday, August 24, 2009 4:53:48 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin teachers break my balls with their computer problems. It was awesome when they weren't here Monday, August 24, 2009 10:24:20 AMtxt
New blog post: Verizon Wireless has you by the balls http://bit.ly/Wqdjh Friday, June 19, 2009 6:16:31 PMTwitter Web Client
And thickbox doesn't work why?! Anything to break balls, right? Friday, June 05, 2009 10:28:00 AMTwitter Web Client
balls. I just stepped on a wire and ripped apart my 1/4" to 1/8" headphone adapter. Time to look for spares or visit Radioshack Thursday, May 28, 2009 6:10:07 PMTwitter Web Client
This fuckin IS guy is breaking my balls and ripped on all the changes I made to the site. Sunday, April 26, 2009 8:25:13 PMTwitter Web Client
CSS in IE is breaking my balls right now Wednesday, April 08, 2009 11:40:09 PMTwitter Web Client
That paper is now coherent. Broke my balls and took me about an hour. What a waste of time. If people could write in the first place... Monday, March 16, 2009 1:51:39 AMTwitter Web Client
Hot as balls in this classroom Monday, February 09, 2009 2:10:01 PMTwitter Web Client
Is it normal to trip balls in your sleep/dreams? Seriously, I was blinking and the ceiling was flashing colors and looked like lightning Saturday, January 03, 2009 3:34:41 PMTwitter Web Client
Hot as balls here. This is unacceptable for December, I just turned my AC on Wednesday, December 10, 2008 2:57:38 PMTwitter Web Client
8AMs suck balls Monday, September 15, 2008 7:23:04 AMtwhirl
I go from 20MBPS/5MBPS FiOS to fuckin 1.1MBPs/200kbps. CNS sucks balls. Tuesday, September 02, 2008 9:45:55 PMtwhirl
BALLS! We didn't need that. Sunday, July 06, 2008 9:57:17 PMtwhirl

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