Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit



3716 results for fuck


[«]‹56789›[»]
Page 7 of 15 | Showing 1501 to 1750
Tweet Date Source
Fuckin a Wednesday, June 04, 2014 11:15:14 PMTwitter for Android
Pulled the recovery because Vinny fucked me over in quarter hockey and made me chug like 2 beers Wednesday, June 04, 2014 11:04:53 PMTwitter for Android
Get up you fuckin pussy. Call yourself a hockey player? Wednesday, June 04, 2014 9:33:11 PMTwitter for Android
Some fucker just put a dump of our entire company website database in the site's web root. For fuck's sake. Wednesday, June 04, 2014 5:30:11 PMTwitter Web Client
How do I filter iOS 8 shit out of my news reader because I don't give a fuck Monday, June 02, 2014 3:20:42 PMTwitter Web Client
So fuck that noise. I'm going on twitter and barstool the rest of the day. Monday, June 02, 2014 3:17:01 PMTwitter Web Client
I hope this fucking place burns to the ground. Why do I even bother making suggestions when they get rudely shot down and my idea is better Monday, June 02, 2014 3:16:35 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm gonna fuckin punch someone in the face today. Monday, June 02, 2014 3:13:18 PMTwitter Web Client
Asked bossman to update a support ticket with more info I researched. he said no, I should do it. I don't have access to the ticket. FUCK U Monday, June 02, 2014 10:13:50 AMTwitter Web Client
Whoever is driving this R train is a miserable fuckup who needs to learn how to brake without everyone wiping out. F- #mta Thursday, May 29, 2014 7:14:56 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin guy is over at our desks every 5 minutes asking for progress and giving new tasks. How is anything supposed to get finished? Wednesday, May 28, 2014 5:22:15 PMTwitter Web Client
The fuck is it possible to be that bad on the power play? Tuesday, May 27, 2014 9:14:10 PMTwitter for Android
My boy Pat is a degenerate. Regarding the server maintenance, he sent the best email. "they're like fuck that noise" http://t.co/cgBdX3jxvS Tuesday, May 27, 2014 9:54:03 AMTwitter Web Client
Fucking Time Warner. I logged in on your ISP assholes, you can't even detect me? http://t.co/wwb38JCGwu Saturday, May 24, 2014 2:41:29 PMTwitter Web Client
So the frontend intern and product intern are fucking, right? My coworkers fucking radar is 100% on point. Wednesday, May 21, 2014 5:04:52 PMTwitter Web Client
Cut me off and shut me up? Fine. I won't talk to you the rest of the day. Fuck off Tuesday, May 20, 2014 3:27:53 PMTwitter Web Client
Closing out old abandoned tickets. Very tempted to close them all with "Don't give a fuck about your bitch ass request, ho" Tuesday, May 20, 2014 12:51:17 PMTwitter Web Client
Colin. Shut the fuck up. Jesus Christ. Hasn't shut his trap all morning since I walked in. I don't even give a fuck about your jibber jabber Tuesday, May 20, 2014 11:27:35 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuck. Drunk texted my boss today... Sunday, May 18, 2014 1:44:46 AMTwitter for Android
@dannyrob88 fuck you bro. Lolololo
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, May 18, 2014 1:24:48 AMTwitter for Android
I'm now fucked up Saturday, May 17, 2014 2:54:31 PMTwitter for Android
Our shit has been down all night and look at all the fucks I give. Maybe it'll give McGivern a heart attack. Friday, May 16, 2014 10:39:05 PMTwitter for Android
This old bitch is watching loud videos on her phone. Shut the fuck up Friday, May 16, 2014 6:56:51 PMTwitter for Android
No seats and the door to the car with like 3, people in it is locked. These mother fuckers #MTA Friday, May 16, 2014 6:47:53 PMTwitter for Android
Actual Metro North poster... Very poor wording. Delays DO happen often, and I'm never glad. Fuckers. http://t.co/Y98iLV2LBf Friday, May 16, 2014 2:00:58 AMTwitter Web Client
If your family brings three fucking bikes into the subway at rush hour, you all deserve the worst Thursday, May 15, 2014 6:26:17 PMTwitter for Android
Nuno you fuckin amateur hour. If my team wasn't the fuckin hospital team, maybe we wouldn't suck balls and lose to los mets Tuesday, May 13, 2014 8:14:12 PMTwitter for Android
FUCKIN COCKSUCKERS I SUCK AT MY FUCKING JOB. Tuesday, May 13, 2014 5:00:13 PMTwitter Web Client
Verizon sucks a dick at 3G - 4G handoffs. The fuck does 3G still even exist anymore. Such nonsense Monday, May 12, 2014 8:46:49 PMTwitter Web Client
Do not fuck with mama geese. Biddies are batshit crazy. Almost attacked me going 20 on my bike. Not hurting your kids bro, chill Monday, May 12, 2014 2:53:16 PMTwitter for Android
RT @KFCBarstool: "KFC you're such a negative fucking person" - @stoolpresidente. Another gem of a Rundown coming your way later today Monday, May 12, 2014 2:52:03 PMTwitter for Android
I mean... ATC's All Around The World is fuckin fantastic right now. #2000 Sunday, May 11, 2014 1:52:14 AMTwitter for Android
Hipsters with iPhones are bullshit because if they didn't conform with society, they'd have a phone no one else the fuck has. So blow me. Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:13:41 PMTwitter for Android
What pisses me off is fuckin hipsters with iPhones. iPhones are mainstream. This is the shit that isn't: http://t.co/IWKNRSi5fq Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:12:04 PMTwitter for Android
.@MrMet @Wally97 fuck you hos. Mets and sox are my all time hated teams.
In reply to @MrMet's tweet
Sunday, May 04, 2014 4:23:46 PMTwitter for Android
@dannyrob88 Fuck the rays jackass
In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet
Sunday, May 04, 2014 2:29:09 PMTwitter for Android
Remix to Ignition to pregame the Yankees. Fuckers Friday, May 02, 2014 3:25:39 PMTwitter for Android
This new Foursquare company strategy is fucking bullshit. This will kill the whole platform, guaranteed: http://t.co/YwTkeao5J1 Thursday, May 01, 2014 9:13:36 PMTwitter Web Client
Get a load a this old fuck at bikini bar. Guys like bald and 65 mackin it on the bikini bartenders Wednesday, April 30, 2014 9:53:21 PMTwitter for Android
Stop smoking fuckin cigarettes @MalJNew Wednesday, April 30, 2014 9:29:31 PMTwitter for Android
This motherfucker is on call if the system shits the bed and will be going to bikini bar next. Wednesday, April 30, 2014 8:51:34 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck the fuckin Flyers. I hate Philly. And Philly Meg Wednesday, April 30, 2014 8:40:51 PMTwitter for Android
Have I mentioned lately that Firefox is a fucking piece of shit? http://t.co/hmcLGjhyj8 Wednesday, April 30, 2014 4:32:02 PMTwitter Web Client
If you ask me a question the second I walk in before I'm settled, or Skype me within the first 5 minutes I'm here, you're a fuckin asshole Monday, April 28, 2014 9:14:25 AMTwitter Web Client
Edgar is fly as fuck right now http://t.co/efFZUWj5v3 Friday, April 25, 2014 8:38:17 PMTwitter for Android
Hobbs is trying to fuck Renninger. Guaranteed. Friday, April 25, 2014 7:53:43 PMTwitter for Android
REG DELETE /y HKLM\Software\Policies\Google Ya fuckin cocksuckers Friday, April 25, 2014 10:09:19 AMTwitter Web Client
Company just did a scavenger hunt for answers on our intranet. if I didn't win this shit, they're fuckin mistaken. I RUN THIS BITCH Thursday, April 24, 2014 1:27:14 PMTwitter Web Client
This fuckin guy has pine tar on his hand? Jesus fuckin christ Wednesday, April 23, 2014 7:52:06 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew Fuck Nickelback
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Wednesday, April 23, 2014 5:05:11 PMTwitter Web Client
I think if I did work in a morgue, I'd be able to have more coherent convos with dead fucking bodies. Monday, April 21, 2014 5:33:26 PMTwitter for Android
How the fuck am I supposed to understand what he's saying all the time. He's like an Asian cave man. Grunting and speaking 2 word sentences. Monday, April 21, 2014 5:32:39 PMTwitter for Android
I don't think you actually understand what its like to work with this dude Tun Tun. Guys nice but FUCK. Would rather work in a morgue. Monday, April 21, 2014 5:31:04 PMTwitter for Android
I'm at the bar. This is a fuckin sausagefest assed ladies night... Wednesday, April 16, 2014 7:40:45 PMTwitter for Android
It's very apparent that these fuckers don't trust me any more and will hardly let me touch production Wednesday, April 16, 2014 4:01:12 PMTwitter Web Client
FIREFOX IS A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT Wednesday, April 16, 2014 2:36:28 PMTwitter Web Client
Its fucking cloudy. Wanted to see the lunar eclipse tonight Monday, April 14, 2014 9:52:44 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck. My bar tab was like two bills Sunday, April 13, 2014 7:43:17 AMTwitter for Android
Fuckin a. Whenever I go to the rover, I black out. I now have a raging hangover and it's 3:45am Sunday, April 13, 2014 3:45:32 AMTwitter for Android
I'm mad fucked up... hhhh Saturday, April 12, 2014 10:43:51 PMTwitter Web Client
This pasty assed mother fucker will be up on the roof, tanning.. UV index is 6, son Saturday, April 12, 2014 11:40:07 AMTwitter for Android
Apparently, that error means that my password was too long. Fucking assholes
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, April 11, 2014 4:34:37 PMTwitter Web Client
Useful fucking error message, @Microsoft. Tells me exactly what's wrong http://t.co/xfH1xEz0En Friday, April 11, 2014 4:17:54 PMTwitter Web Client
There is no saving this place. We're beyond fucked Thursday, April 10, 2014 12:56:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Fucking project managers. When I don't answer because they asked a stupid question, all they can do is escalate to VPs who are more clueless Wednesday, April 09, 2014 2:16:47 PMTwitter Web Client
Yo Russ, gimmie my fuckin 🍕 Wednesday, April 09, 2014 12:15:23 PMTwitter for Android
I have a "pizza party lunch with the CTO" . Going to have a fucking blast. 😴 👎 Wednesday, April 09, 2014 11:59:39 AMTwitter Web Client
I need a fuckin interpreter to understand this dude Tun Tun. No fucking clue what this guy is even talking about Tuesday, April 08, 2014 4:41:30 PMTwitter Web Client
Yankee home opener and I'm fixing fucking config files because PMs are useless and suck at life Monday, April 07, 2014 3:07:22 PMTwitter Web Client
Phone keeps fuckin rebooting. Fuck off Saturday, April 05, 2014 3:11:43 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin hate Texiera. Never did anything useful for Yanks. Always hurts his pussy and gets paid for being on the DL. Get the fuck off my team Saturday, April 05, 2014 3:02:37 PMTwitter for Android
Also, why are the fucking BLUE Jays wearing green uniforms? Saturday, April 05, 2014 1:20:51 PMTwitter for Android
Four days into the season, texiera pulled his vagina muscle. Again. I called it. Weak motherfucker Saturday, April 05, 2014 7:23:35 AMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew needs to stop smoking fuckin cigarettes. 🚭 🚭 🚭 Friday, April 04, 2014 4:42:36 PMTwitter for Android
Cheers to being young, successful and fucked up http://t.co/6Sf8D4dFaR Friday, April 04, 2014 1:10:19 PMTwitter for Android
I'm uncoordinated as fuck right now Friday, April 04, 2014 9:35:07 AMTwitter Web Client
@kerbear88 fuck the MTA
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Thursday, April 03, 2014 9:44:17 PMTwitter for Android
Never did coke. Never will. I'm already a hyper crazy motherfucker. Don't need any more pep. Need to CHILL Wednesday, April 02, 2014 10:27:21 PMTwitter for Android
Just told the VP who hired me to go fuck himself (jokingly) and I told our CEO our UI sucks. #enjoyyy Wednesday, April 02, 2014 8:41:20 PMTwitter for Android
I am walking around the office drinking water out of a a wine glass because fuck it, why not. Tuesday, April 01, 2014 2:58:27 PMTwitter Web Client
Correction. They're 130% fucking. Guaranteed Saturday, March 29, 2014 11:56:41 PMTwitter for Android
So are fin and leili fucking? Saturday, March 29, 2014 11:37:22 PMTwitter for Android
Verizon Wireless is doing all my fuckin calls Saturday, March 29, 2014 10:04:53 PMTwitter for Android
.@BobSaget is a real sick fuck. @portfolioso is a real sick fuck Friday, March 28, 2014 10:42:49 PMTwitter for Android
If you don't give a damn man we don't give a fuck Tuesday, March 25, 2014 10:35:58 PMTwitter for Android
I'm a fuckin stud rolling shit out son Tuesday, March 25, 2014 7:58:39 PMTwitter for Android
Place is so fucked. @MalJNew takes one sick day and we're at a standstill on the grounds that SUITS DON'T FUCKING KNOW ANYTHING #FeelBetter Monday, March 24, 2014 3:00:58 PMTwitter Web Client
You can't even begin to describe how fucking shitty my fantasy baseball team is Monday, March 24, 2014 1:10:51 PMTwitter Web Client
Pretty sure the only reason I still work where I do is because I know the Yanks are winning the series and I'm going to the fuckin parade. Saturday, March 22, 2014 9:51:01 PMTwitter for Android
Nate's inviting the fucked up ass chick back. Yeah buddy get it Saturday, March 22, 2014 9:21:08 PMTwitter for Android
"I'm fuckin stellar as fuck" -@BadPointer Friday, March 21, 2014 12:06:30 AMTwitter for Android
RT @chisoxbarstool: @BarstoolJJ Fuck the establishment bro! Thursday, March 20, 2014 5:08:56 PMTwitter for Android
RT @BarstoolJJ: Didn't fill out a single bracket and not a single fuck was given. Thursday, March 20, 2014 2:33:32 PMTwitter for Android
Whoever fuckin burnt popcorn in here is an asshole Thursday, March 20, 2014 9:57:37 AMTwitter Web Client
Is bullshit. Why is this fuckin river not green. The fuck mon Saturday, March 15, 2014 4:33:02 PMTwitter for Android
I love Chicago. The natives fuck up vowels so hard it hurts Saturday, March 15, 2014 1:48:12 PMTwitter for Android
For real. Whoever farted in here, it wasn't me. I know I'm a flatulent motherfucker, but it wasn't me. Ya heard?! Saturday, March 15, 2014 12:15:46 AMTwitter for Android
FUCK McGivern
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, March 15, 2014 12:14:13 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck'em http://t.co/inLInICh6k Friday, March 14, 2014 11:33:45 PMTwitter for Android
Please explain to me how I, a grammar Nazi, lost a match on Quizzup in the grammar category to someone in fuckin India Friday, March 14, 2014 10:34:56 AMTwitter for Android
Ya don't need to post 9 tbt pics in a row, fuckfaces. Friday, March 14, 2014 1:37:03 AMTwitter for Android
This client can 100% suck a fucking dick Wednesday, March 12, 2014 4:43:43 PMTwitter Web Client
Doing the power hour, then Colin's vday. Were fucked. Brunch tomorrow too Saturday, March 08, 2014 9:16:36 PMTwitter for Android
Why is there so much fuckin traffic on the 59th st bridge. Hopefully McGivern jumped off it Thursday, March 06, 2014 10:55:55 PMTwitter for Android
I wanna fuck up a drum set and pretend it's cocksucker McGivern's sac Thursday, March 06, 2014 10:13:33 PMTwitter for Android
This band is fuckin awesome. I hate drinking and frat bars and I'm thoroughly enjoying this Thursday, March 06, 2014 10:13:05 PMTwitter for Android
This cocksucker motherfucker wants to mentor me? He can surely eat a bag of dicks. I wouldn't be like him if you paid me millions. Thursday, March 06, 2014 8:20:37 PMTwitter for Android
This fucking R train should pull out of Queens plaza instead of waiting for two fucking Es Tuesday, March 04, 2014 9:34:36 PMTwitter for Android
This bitch singing at the Oscars is God awful. Breathy as fuck Sunday, March 02, 2014 9:25:55 PMTwitter for Android
Finally off the phone withe these cunt motherfuckers Time Warner Saturday, March 01, 2014 8:47:43 PMTwitter for Android
WOW. Time Warner's automated system can't even recognize the fucking zip code. Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:47:18 PMTwitter for Android
Apparently, if you cancel Time Warner's shit service, they don't actually do it. Incompetent fucks. Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:41:16 PMTwitter for Android
Time Warner is the worse fucking piece of shit company possible Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:35:57 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking Time Warner cocksuckers. We legit called to schedule an installation and we get an email that they canceled the installation. Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:35:39 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking foursquare is down Saturday, March 01, 2014 12:01:01 PMTwitter for Android
If I ever start managing like McGivern, please do me a favor and shoot me in the fuckin head. We'd all be better off. Thursday, February 27, 2014 4:05:42 PMTwitter Web Client
Average page load time increased from 2-4 seconds for 2 minutes. We are classifying this as an outage. FUCKING IDIOTS Thursday, February 27, 2014 11:20:16 AMTwitter Web Client
About to buy a $200 home router because I'm batshit crazy. Fuckin boss tho: http://t.co/c00hbhxeDw Thursday, February 27, 2014 12:35:21 AMTwitter Web Client
My express to Scarsdale had to stop at 125th St to "reset something for a minute" 5 minutes ago... Still stopped. #FuckingMTA Wednesday, February 26, 2014 7:14:37 PMTwitter for Android
I can't think over Gabe's constant fucking babbling Monday, February 24, 2014 9:59:20 AMTwitter Web Client
I honestly believe Antivirus software was invented for IT job security. It fucks up computers so badly, that they always need to fix shit. Friday, February 21, 2014 11:13:52 AMTwitter for Windows
Fuckin pissed that I'm listening to McGivern babble instead of getting drunk at @SaloonNYC and watching the Olympics with @KFCBarstool Friday, February 21, 2014 11:00:03 AMTwitter Web Client
I don't want this fucking antivirus on my work computer. 1000 problems since it was installed. Fuck this corporate assed "startup" Thursday, February 20, 2014 4:58:04 PMTwitter for Windows
Someone around here smells like fucking dog food Thursday, February 20, 2014 11:20:19 AMTwitter Web Client
Idiot: "Hey Joe, Can you get me X by tomorrow? No rush."
Me: "ok"
Idiot (2 hrs later): "So did you do it yet?"

#FUCKOFF 		Wednesday, February 19, 2014 5:24:38 PMTwitter Web Client
Seriously. Everything this fucking McGivern does goes against everything they taught at DSB. This is why I cannot respect him. Sunday, February 16, 2014 3:17:10 PMTwitter for Android
If you fall onto the train tracks, you're a dumb motherfucker... Nuff said. Saturday, February 15, 2014 6:50:40 PMTwitter for Android
RT @KFCBarstool: Alright it ain't allowed to be snowing and sleeting along with thunder and fucking lightning. Enough is enough. Thursday, February 13, 2014 9:35:15 PMTwitter for Windows
It's fucking Nigeria. This is not shocking: http://t.co/EpeeUhdxRF Thursday, February 13, 2014 12:50:12 AMTwitter Web Client
I just got back to my desk cunts. Let me catch up for a sec before you line up. #fuckoff Tuesday, February 11, 2014 2:01:47 PMTwitter Web Client
We dropped 9961 packets, but lost 0% of packets. Fucking Microsoft http://t.co/vGysr6GIng Monday, February 10, 2014 5:17:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Subway's a fucking disaster at Grand Central Monday, February 10, 2014 9:00:15 AMTwitter for Android
Some old fuck at the train station said Ringo didn't age well. Guy is delusional and probably 50 going on 80 Monday, February 10, 2014 8:02:49 AMTwitter for Android
Look at this fucking baller. Dave just straight out runs up to Ringo on drums and sings with him. Hdhshahvsvxhwhzv http://t.co/skT31rk3T9 Sunday, February 09, 2014 10:29:29 PMTwitter for Android
This fucking moron is Kwabi 2.0. Can't even get Skype to work in the conference room. cc: @BadPointer Tuesday, February 04, 2014 1:05:45 PMTwitter for Android
Colin. Will you SHUT THE FUCK UP Tuesday, February 04, 2014 10:08:09 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuck McGivern!!! Friday, January 31, 2014 10:16:16 PMTwitter for Android
@cuddleclouds fuck off Lennon
In reply to @cuddleclouds's tweet
Friday, January 31, 2014 10:15:22 PMTwitter for Android
@KeriAHarrison @VtotheFlo Fuck a Call Me Maybe singalong to get me through Friday. Free 11% ABV beer gets me through a Friday
In reply to @KeriAHarrison's tweet
Friday, January 31, 2014 4:40:17 PMTwitter Web Client
Colin. SHUT THE FUCK UP Friday, January 31, 2014 4:10:29 PMTwitter for Android
Why wont this fucking service start? Friday, January 31, 2014 1:56:46 PMTwitter Web Client
Fucking train is late again. This piece of shit MTA Friday, January 31, 2014 8:06:35 AMTwitter for Android
This meandering mother fucker needs to walk in a straight line so I can pass his slow ass. Thursday, January 30, 2014 7:11:29 PMTwitter for Android
Nate is 23? Fuckin prime. Dude. Rake in as much pussy as you can get and enjoyyy right now Wednesday, January 29, 2014 9:14:00 PMTwitter for Android
The director of UX is wearing a ridiculous outfit. This is who we hire for DESIGN? Guy looks like a fucking clown Wednesday, January 29, 2014 10:41:44 AMTwitter Web Client
They teach you to flatten your fucking organization in business school, not add layers of useless management. #justsayin Tuesday, January 28, 2014 11:45:51 AMTwitter Web Client
Got invited out for free dranks by a client. They can go fuck themselves. They suck so bad, I don't want their drinks. Tuesday, January 28, 2014 9:38:08 AMTwitter Web Client
@AP Good. I'm sick of motherfuckers getting free handouts and I have to pay through the nose for everything
In reply to @AP's tweet
Monday, January 27, 2014 6:56:20 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking MTA Monday, January 27, 2014 6:54:54 PMTwitter for Android
Steven Tyler is ugly as fuck Sunday, January 26, 2014 10:57:33 PMTwitter for Android
Hetfield is all gray and clean shaven? The fuck Sunday, January 26, 2014 10:54:12 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin wasted at the German restaurant and ordered some fat sausage for my fat face. Sunday, January 26, 2014 1:33:07 AMTwitter for Android
The POS in this bar is running on Windows XP. For fucks sake. It's 2014, not 2002 Sunday, January 26, 2014 12:48:57 AMTwitter for Android
The driver "You're such a fuckin pussy bitch" Sunday, January 26, 2014 12:23:27 AMTwitter for Android
Pretty sure a mother I wouldn't like to fuck is diving us Sunday, January 26, 2014 12:20:18 AMTwitter for Android
Christ. If a cop pulls us over, we're fucked Sunday, January 26, 2014 12:18:25 AMTwitter for Android
I'd probably pay $100 for a Johnny-fuck-me-up right now. Would get me wasted @MalJNew Saturday, January 25, 2014 10:54:28 PMTwitter for Android
Possible Super Bowl date change because of the weather? Fucking pussies. This country has gone soft Friday, January 24, 2014 7:08:04 PMTwitter for Android
RT @XtinaSchelin: These fuckers keep up with the flashing lights, Imma go over there with the tiiiniest hammer and break each of them, whil… Friday, January 24, 2014 11:40:52 AMTwitter Web Client
Its like 12 out and I've been walking for 20 mins. No hat. No gloves. Not even cold. Fuckin psycho Thursday, January 23, 2014 9:12:34 PMTwitter for Android
And FUCK the fucking MTA http://t.co/9mN7A2Iqbb Thursday, January 23, 2014 9:02:29 PMTwitter for Android
I feel like all I do in this god forsaken city is stand in ducking crowds on fucking trains. New York sucks Thursday, January 23, 2014 8:59:59 PMTwitter for Android
Our VP of Engineering needs to stop being a fucking pussy and sucking our client's dick. Thursday, January 23, 2014 9:58:35 AMTwitter Web Client
Colin. I don't give a fuck about SQL Server 2012, certs and encryption. Shut up Wednesday, January 22, 2014 3:49:29 PMTwitter Web Client
Colin, shut the fuck up Tuesday, January 21, 2014 12:10:36 PMTwitter Web Client
Guy with the harmonica singing piano man is gonna pull in mad pussy even though he's ugly and bald as fuck. Friday, January 17, 2014 11:34:18 PMTwitter for Android
Such a narcissist. Just looked at my reflection in a tap handle and couldn't get over how fuckin hot I am Friday, January 17, 2014 9:37:47 PMTwitter for Android
McGivern you fuckin waste. Your out of office is a joke http://t.co/Qyh2BvDpOZ Friday, January 17, 2014 11:12:15 AMTwitter Web Client
Had to change my tiled fuck you background to something darker because it looked way too white. Much better Wednesday, January 15, 2014 10:22:07 PMTwitter Web Client
The fuck. Twitter desktop site redesign is whack Wednesday, January 15, 2014 10:15:50 PMTwitter Web Client
LETS MIGRATE AN ENTIRE FUCKING DRUPAL INSTANCE FROM A DEBIAN BASED OS TO CENTOS IN <1 DAY YOU FUCKIN ASSHOLE Tuesday, January 14, 2014 7:07:08 PMTwitter Web Client
I fucking hate this shit Tuesday, January 14, 2014 11:24:26 AMTwitter Web Client
John. Shut the fuck up Monday, January 13, 2014 5:56:11 PMTwitter for Android
Security guys just have no fucking idea and are the least practical. All they care about is fixing the vulnerability, not breaking shit Monday, January 13, 2014 5:24:05 PMTwitter for Android
Kevin. The second you start micromanaging and asking what I'm working on every 3 minutes is when I fuckin walk out and take lunch Monday, January 13, 2014 1:48:16 PMTwitter for Android
I could've at least fixed the fuckin problem in my sleep instead of our fucking system being down for hours Monday, January 13, 2014 5:25:57 AMTwitter for Android
I think I just sleep-worked on production... Woke up to 20 mins worth of alerts, light on and my VPN was connected. THE FUCK Monday, January 13, 2014 5:10:44 AMTwitter for Android
kevin. stop fuckin sneezing. Friday, January 10, 2014 2:49:55 PMTwitter Web Client
Gabe, shut the fuck up about Hennessy. Talking about it for the past 10 mins like he's the connoisseur of all alcohol. You're also white. Thursday, January 09, 2014 4:47:15 PMTwitter Web Client
Motherfuckers need to stop coughing on this train. It's like I'm in a TB ward Thursday, January 09, 2014 8:39:02 AMTwitter for Android
Gabe, I don't give a fuck about how you keep a Windows XP VM around.. Shut up Wednesday, January 08, 2014 11:17:59 AMTwitter Web Client
I FUCKING HOPE SO TOO, DUDE http://t.co/pQvhBIQpyJ Tuesday, January 07, 2014 9:17:12 AMTwitter Web Client
Trying to play the slots ya fuckin homewrecker. #PokemonSilver #SlutLiz hitting me up all noche http://t.co/jEC5gSZ9jQ Saturday, January 04, 2014 1:47:36 AMTwitter for Android
RT @BarstoolJJ: I'm going to a couples game night tonight. Remember that when you are trying to fuck a rando tonight. Friday, January 03, 2014 6:53:34 PMTwitter for Android
You rat muddafucka you Wednesday, January 01, 2014 1:10:22 AMTwitter for Android
These motherfuckers need to get their shit together with these server alerts and instability while I'm away. Monday, December 30, 2013 3:45:32 PMTwitter for Android
I tell the judge I'm 63, fuck them. Friday, December 27, 2013 11:39:50 PMTwitter for Android
Coworker said he wished the system didn't crash without me. I fucking hope so too bro (plus, don't bother me) Friday, December 27, 2013 1:09:09 AMTwitter Web Client
The fam basically pulled #MailTime on Christmas dinner. Just didn't give a fuck Friday, December 27, 2013 12:49:12 AMTwitter for Android
Hungry as fuck, obviously, due to feeble meals served over the past few days. TV dinners and leftovers go perfectly around Christmas #thefuk Thursday, December 26, 2013 11:11:56 PMTwitter Web Client
Absolute horse shit meal served to me this Christmas. Ranks as one of the worst Christmas dinners in 25 years. Leftover fuckin leather veal. Thursday, December 26, 2013 10:05:45 PMTwitter for Android
Colin finally bounced for lunch. Going to the fuckin bar. Thursday, December 26, 2013 1:10:47 PMTwitter Web Client
Baby on the train: shut the fuck up Saturday, December 21, 2013 5:04:06 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin Penn Station is hot as balls Friday, December 20, 2013 5:51:05 PMTwitter for Android
Gabe, shut the fuck up. Friday, December 20, 2013 1:31:31 PMTwitter Web Client
This dude Gabe is SO annoying. He knows it all. He'll overhear you talking, chime in and his way is better. #fuckoff Friday, December 20, 2013 12:38:44 PMTwitter for Android
Colin, shut the fuck up. Friday, December 20, 2013 12:07:16 PMTwitter Web Client
0 sympathy for this family whatsoever. You're rich anyway shut the fuck up you crazy bible nutjobs and respect people http://t.co/d1ScQrV2a8 Friday, December 20, 2013 10:05:47 AMTwitter Web Client
McGivern is ripping me a new asshole because I was unprepared to roll back and our SLA got fucked. #whoops Tuesday, December 17, 2013 4:22:06 PMTwitter for Android
fuck this shit. ima go play in the snow Tuesday, December 17, 2013 12:11:58 PMTwitter Web Client
FRONT END TEAM: SHUT THE FUCK UP. ALL OF YOU Monday, December 16, 2013 3:09:20 PMTwitter Web Client
Look at these fucking suits. Might as well CUNCEL DA holiday party... We're not a startup anymore, Toto. http://t.co/aG2bsX33hx Monday, December 16, 2013 12:03:28 PMTwitter Web Client
It's bullshit that our snowstorm turned to rain. It's like 28 degrees.. Gonna be icy as a motherfucker out there... Sunday, December 15, 2013 2:16:54 AMTwitter for Android
Grow a pair Kevin. I know you're 7 but aftershave doesn't burn that bad. Also, way to fuck up Buzz's shelves. Guy deserved it. Sunday, December 15, 2013 1:10:30 AMTwitter for Android
Smart kid, Kevin... You can't trust the fuckin PO-lice. I wouldn't answer the door either. Sunday, December 15, 2013 1:08:12 AMTwitter for Android
New blog post: Metro North Wasn't Fucking Around About SantaCon http://t.co/yWDr9dm4e5 Saturday, December 14, 2013 8:14:34 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
This bitch is so fucking orange, I'm about to get a tan off that glow. Saturday, December 14, 2013 4:54:28 PMTwitter for Android
4PM and I'm hungover as fuck still.. This is awful Friday, December 13, 2013 4:19:19 PMTwitter Web Client
Steve, I just sat down you stupid cunt. Get the fuck away from me Wednesday, December 11, 2013 8:53:25 AMTwitter Web Client
Android needs to lose the problem where it becomes slow as fuck while apps are updating or installing Tuesday, December 10, 2013 9:18:03 PMTwitter for Android
No kidding. Guy's a fuckin asshole. (But so were the other choices): http://t.co/NnVe92ABS2 Tuesday, December 10, 2013 2:15:46 PMTwitter Web Client
No, not excited to go to fuckin Newark. Buy a one way ticket there and it thinks I'm going there. For sure not. http://t.co/41b88yvYaX Thursday, December 05, 2013 9:46:41 PMTwitter Web Client
I FUCKING HATE SECURITY AUDITORS Wednesday, December 04, 2013 12:29:13 PMTwitter Web Client
This shit can eat my dick: http://t.co/32JRTyJxKX So fucking convoluted Tuesday, December 03, 2013 2:24:09 PMTwitter Web Client
Ims just going to get as fucked up as possible Sunday, December 01, 2013 2:39:53 PMTwitter for Android
I was a little sad, and then I went to take a selfie and i look fucking ridiculous with this shitty haircut and stache. Then I smiled. Saturday, November 30, 2013 12:53:37 AMTwitter for Android
The fuck gave my uncle the remote? Why is this PBS shit on instead of football? http://t.co/zPONFaXrzV Thursday, November 28, 2013 5:17:49 PMTwitter for Android
A legit tortoise just popped a squat on the train next to me. #thefuck Wednesday, November 27, 2013 5:42:36 PMTwitter for Android
What kind of fuckin asshole picks the stall next to you in the shitter when the end one's open? (Jeans, dirty white Nikes w/ a red swoosh) Wednesday, November 27, 2013 2:39:37 PMTwitter for Android
Trying to debug our piece of shit API because it crashes. Enabled crash dumps. In 20 seconds, it dumped 73 gigs. Fucking piece. Place sux Monday, November 25, 2013 3:26:46 PMTwitter Web Client
How am I actually supposed to get work done if fucking people stand at my desk and ask questions or chat all day? Monday, November 25, 2013 11:59:45 AMTwitter for Android
The guy horizontal, taking up an entire bench on a rush hour subway train deserves no less than a bullet in his head. Fucking waste of life. Monday, November 25, 2013 9:05:27 AMTwitter for Android
Its Monday, which is the worst day of the week because I get to see that fuckin asshole McGivern at that shithole today. Monday, November 25, 2013 7:47:03 AMTwitter for Android
Stein: "I don't drink water. Fish fuck in it" Thursday, November 21, 2013 10:37:09 PMTwitter for Android
I can't stand this fucking company Wednesday, November 20, 2013 1:19:55 PMTwitter Web Client
Dibs on a bar called "The Stiff Cheese" Fuckin baller name if I say so myself Tuesday, November 19, 2013 10:55:14 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking director of engineering... Asks for shit that can't be rolled back. I do it. Shit breaks. He freaks out. Tuesday, November 19, 2013 12:08:50 PMTwitter Web Client
Guy who replaced Barry talks 3mph and sounds like a jackass and his trains are continuously late. Fucking reject Tuesday, November 19, 2013 7:42:12 AMTwitter for Android
Fucking MTA can't even tell me what track my cocksucking train is on, so I have to stand in front of the board like an asshole Monday, November 18, 2013 6:55:05 PMTwitter for Android
Drank a little bit at uncubed and told @fogcreek than Kiln is slow as fuck Thursday, November 14, 2013 6:51:25 PMTwitter for Android
You're a fucking asshole if your offing yourself results in delays for thousands: http://t.co/zSDEzIOFVg Death isn't good enough punishment Wednesday, November 13, 2013 12:32:34 PMTwitter Web Client
If you checked into snowpocalypse on Foursquare for a couple of flurries, you're a fucking asshole. Tuesday, November 12, 2013 9:23:26 AMTwitter Web Client
Just had a great idea for a band. Sad lyrics but very upbeat and happy. #mindfuck Wednesday, November 06, 2013 11:51:49 PMTwitter for Android
How many fucking times do I need to tell these people I know it all. Just argued with my boss about something for 5 minutes and I was right Wednesday, November 06, 2013 4:58:08 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin COCKSUCKER has some nerve to tell me how to roll out my software at 12:34AM if he's not going to actually do anything Monday, November 04, 2013 7:24:27 PMTwitter Web Client
McGivern. Eat a fucking dick Monday, November 04, 2013 3:31:04 PMTwitter for Android
And I especially hate that fuckin guy John who's here three days a week and is an old fucking suit who does nothing but bark orders Monday, November 04, 2013 8:07:00 AMTwitter for Android
I fucking hate Mondays, Booker, this pedo mustache, the MTA, the 8:02 express from Scarsdale, the 4/5, Lower Manhattan and pooping a lot Monday, November 04, 2013 8:03:13 AMTwitter for Android
We're just gonna fuckin play with this sock for 3 hours, I don't give a shit Thursday, October 31, 2013 10:10:55 PMTwitter for Android
"Chris Christie , The Governor" commercial is spot on. Fuckin guy Wednesday, October 30, 2013 11:33:08 PMTwitter for Android
Mothafuckin beards Wednesday, October 30, 2013 11:24:06 PMTwitter for Android
I want to beat the fuck out of something Tuesday, October 29, 2013 8:32:00 PMTwitter for Android
Danny just asked me to bring him a water with ice. Fuckin pussy. Drink alcohol bitch Saturday, October 26, 2013 11:36:36 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: The Fact that Some Local News Station Says that Connecticut has Great Pizza is Fucking Blasphemy http://t.co/sGZaTFzvRT Wednesday, October 23, 2013 11:13:30 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
I WILL unfollow you on Instagram if every single picture you post is a fucking BitStrips comic Monday, October 21, 2013 9:38:18 AMTwitter Web Client
Why is there no motherfuckin food anywhere near this plave Friday, October 18, 2013 11:52:51 PMTwitter for Android
Welp. They're gonna sing Pony at karaoke. This is a song you're supposed to like, fuck to or something Friday, October 18, 2013 9:52:41 PMTwitter for Android
me: "Oh fuck. I just got a server alert and I'm on call. I don't have my laptop. Eh its fine, no one will know. Kev: "JOE!!! I'M YOUR BOSS" Thursday, October 17, 2013 9:15:45 PMTwitter for Android
Three people asked me to print something for them today. Do I look like I fucking secretary? Tuesday, October 15, 2013 5:49:56 PMTwitter Web Client
Jesus fucking Christ. This food guy cannot be slower. Go down south bro. This is NEW YORK. Tuesday, October 15, 2013 11:04:35 AMTwitter for Android

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