Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit



360 results for asshole


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Tweet Date Source
I can't believe the asshole LA Dodgers won the World Series again and Don Mattingly gets absolutely nothing his entire career. Sunday, November 02, 2025 9:49:27 PMBlueSky
Hot take: The Duffer Brothers and Netflix are assholes for taking so long to release the last season of Stranger Things.

Like how TF do you take from 2022 to 2025 to release one season when you had prepubescent actors that will look radically different?

9 years for 5 seasons is bananas 		Sunday, March 23, 2025 6:46:04 PMBlueSky
@ohiogop How does voting no stop gerrymandering if it lets the same 5 crooked assholes draw the maps? Maps that were deemed unconstitutional 7 times.

You are all outside your minds
In reply to @ohiogop's tweet
Friday, November 01, 2024 12:18:59 PMTwitter for Android
Oh my GOD just lose already. I can't take this. Don't fuck with me. If you were up 5-0 and blew it at home, you're a bunch of assholes https://t.co/ymxuFISAQZ Wednesday, October 30, 2024 11:10:34 PMTwitter for Android
Yo @FrankLaRose. You're an asshole Secretary of State. WTF is this ballot? Why aren't the two main candidates listed first? https://t.co/nhU92qAa6f Monday, October 28, 2024 7:12:35 PMTwitter Web App
You're an asshole to walk long distances in 122 degree heat. This is simple darwinism in the name of religion and I have no sympathy

https://t.co/JSXAM6WHTy 		Sunday, June 23, 2024 5:15:12 PMTwitter for Android
She's a moron.

1) She is indeed above the law because any common person who doesn't stop is arrested on the spot.

2) If she just pulled over, chances are they let her go and slap her on the wrist.

But now she got caught looking like a privileged asshole on bodycam video
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, April 27, 2024 1:59:31 AMTwitter for Android
HAHAHAHAHAH! Maybe don't be corrupt so you don't have to kill yourself to avoid prison. 👋 bye asshole- thanks for making my electric bill more expensive

https://t.co/UnmJhZYvtZ 		Tuesday, April 09, 2024 11:22:30 PMTwitter Web App
This fucking guy out of his bird. Yes, Millennials can't buy houses because they don't work. Unemployment is low. People have multiple jobs and still can't afford basic needs.

A fucking moron. Someone get this asshole of the Internet. I hope Dave Ramsey is reincarnated as a poor https://t.co/lfXjdMAn7G 		Tuesday, April 09, 2024 8:08:24 AMTwitter for Android
@JonHusted Worry less about the federal government and more about @PUCOhio fucking raising rates every 5 minutes.

You trump cultist asshole
In reply to @JonHusted's tweet
Friday, April 05, 2024 9:06:51 PMTwitter Web App
@dolan4ohio Matt, tell your brother he's been an asshole since the Cablevision days, his band stinks, and to put MSG and their shitty facial recognition tech up his ass
In reply to @dolan4ohio's tweet
Sunday, February 04, 2024 10:04:43 PMTwitter for Android
@FrankLaRose You're still an asshole, Frankie Boy
In reply to @FrankLaRose's tweet
Sunday, February 04, 2024 3:17:04 PMTwitter for Android
This dude on Discord literally doesn't know the difference between a and an. Dude uses "an" for everything and it drives me batshit crazy. I don't really know how to bring it up because I don't want to sound like a petty asshole that corrects people, but JFC get it together Monday, January 29, 2024 5:19:20 PMTwitter Web App
@FrankLaRose First off, not your sole decision. Second, you're an asshole
In reply to @FrankLaRose's tweet
Monday, January 29, 2024 12:59:40 PMTwitter Web App
If you're on a one-lane road, and you're not driving the fucking speed limit, you're a goddamn asshole. Especially if I'm behind you. Thursday, December 21, 2023 11:59:11 AMTwitter for Android
Undefeated with one loss to asshole Michigan and the season was cancelled

https://t.co/PL7SW9AhZj 		Sunday, December 03, 2023 1:41:59 PMTwitter for Android
@DelawareCoOhio You guys messed up bad by not putting a railroad underpass at Orange Rd in Orange twp in 2008 on the grounds that assholes @CSX and @nscorp decide to park trains on the tracks at fucking rush hour and all other east west roads are a shitshow Tuesday, November 07, 2023 5:12:33 PMTwitter for Android
If you're paying cash at a self checkout, holding up the line, you're an asshole Sunday, October 29, 2023 3:19:00 PMTwitter for Android
Whoever the fuck designed humans and invented mammals that bleed out every month and fluctuating hormones that turn them into feral bitches is an asshole creator. Design us better so that shit doesnt happen Tuesday, October 03, 2023 9:38:21 AMTwitter Web App
@FrankLaRose Frankie Boy! That poor lady made really bad life decisions to end up with your felon worshipping, out-of-touch asshole
In reply to @FrankLaRose's tweet
Tuesday, August 22, 2023 4:13:55 PMTwitter Web App
@FrankLaRose You're an asshole, Frankie Boy! All the worst to ya
In reply to @FrankLaRose's tweet
Saturday, July 29, 2023 8:48:16 PMTwitter for Android
Elon Musk's autistic asshole hyper fixating on the letter X like a wacky savant Monday, July 24, 2023 7:33:43 AMTwitter Web App
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH. GFY asshole. You crooked bastard. Rot in there.@HouseholderOH

https://t.co/lqbqyC9CDy 		Thursday, July 13, 2023 2:55:59 PMTwitter Web App
@BrianStewartOH @pickawayohgop @ohiogop @GrantDavisOH @MattForquer Handful of out of touch white boomers who are trying to pass a bill taking people's rights away.

None of these Yes on 1 people can even explain why this is good for anyone except "hippie liberals are going to pass radical legislation"

Majority rules assholes. Eat a bag of dicks
In reply to @BrianStewartOH's tweet
Sunday, July 09, 2023 9:35:10 AMTwitter for Android
Ever since Elon took over Twitter, my entire timeline is flooded with ight wing, Trumpy assholes like MTG, Greg Abbott and Ron DeSantis bullshits. I don't want to see this content and I can't get it to go away.

Twitter is officially ruined. It's Truth Social++ 		Saturday, July 08, 2023 12:02:36 PMTwitter for Android
@elonmusk You're an asshole
In reply to @elonmusk's tweet
Saturday, July 01, 2023 5:44:54 PMTwitter for Android
@Lenovo I've got a T14 brick because your shitty bios update flashing tool failed.

I lost data and look like an asshole at work.

No worries. It's my work laptop and IT has it handled. It's under warranty anyway so nothing you "try turning it on and off again" people can help with
In reply to @Lenovo's tweet
Friday, April 14, 2023 11:08:06 PMTwitter for Android
This is my work laptop. I don't know if I have my bitlocker key and this probably set me back a month you God damn assholes. Don't you test this shit
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, April 13, 2023 12:14:47 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ Mike Stanton (I call him Mike, not Giancarlo). Grounds into a double play with the bases loaded to lose like an asshole and not give me any fantasy points Saturday, April 01, 2023 7:21:22 PMTwitter for Android
@madebygoogle @rosterloh

I broke my Pixel 6 Pro screen for the third fucking time. No idea what happened. It was in my pocket. Whoever decided to put rounded corners on it is a fucking asshole. This is the worst piece of shit pixel I've owned 		Thursday, March 30, 2023 9:33:26 AMTwitter Web App
Dude the free twitter API tier is a JOKE. What an asshole Wednesday, March 29, 2023 11:26:38 PMTwitter Web App
Fuck a curved screen. I cracked two Pixel 6 Pro displays because the corners stick out of my case like an asshole.

https://t.co/fpR5qc6qXM 		Wednesday, March 22, 2023 12:22:13 AMTwitter for Android
Who's the dumbass who thought it would be a good idea to put this giant cluttered ass Bing button into @MicrosoftEdge

This looks like asshole. Stop it https://t.co/ymUmPOMIQI 		Thursday, March 16, 2023 12:01:12 PMTwitter Web App
How about you go put a content warning on Elon's crusty asshole https://t.co/Rl3M5NrNdP Thursday, March 09, 2023 7:21:33 PMTwitter for Android
If you @ here a Slack channel with 1200 people in it for a simple HR question that could have been a ticket or email, you're a gd asshole who should be dismissed immejitly Wednesday, February 01, 2023 5:57:12 PMTwitter Web App
Ok, he feels a little bad, but David Yost is still an asshole prick

https://t.co/ZgEAhe10jZ 		Tuesday, December 20, 2022 11:58:27 PMTwitter for Android
Omg. So it created it on my YouTube bullshit account I made in like 2006. And shows up on my computer and not my phone.

Your shit is so fragmented ffs. Asshole user experience. Christ
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, December 03, 2022 12:24:36 PMTwitter for Android
I'm glad wacky Elon brought back @realDonaldTrump so I can tell him he's an asshole again Sunday, November 20, 2022 8:17:45 PMTwitter for Android
The majority of product owners are morons and most software is shit. I had a fingerprint requirement in my myq garage door app to open it. When I logged out and in, it didn't require a fingerprint anymore.

Remember my settings, assholes 		Monday, September 19, 2022 9:27:03 PMTwitter for Android
If you're waiting in a 5 mile line to see the dead ass queen, you're an asshole. Do something better with your life: https://t.co/zF9UM396wx Friday, September 16, 2022 9:26:23 AMTwitter Web App
$85/month for Spectrum 500 MBPS internet and they can eat a bag of dicks.

I should pay them half my bill for half the speed.

And don't say it's my wifi setup because at one point I was clocking 550mbps, so they have this shit throttled. Assholes https://t.co/eyB9lC8BCO 		Sunday, August 28, 2022 12:48:10 AMTwitter for Android
And here's another dumb asshole bitch mfer @AGJeffLandry

https://t.co/zLk5eFM3Dz 		Monday, July 18, 2022 10:46:45 PMTwitter for Android
Wimp ass motherfuckers https://t.co/72YWOHI9fD

Where are all you blue lives matter assholes now? 		Tuesday, July 12, 2022 6:23:52 PMTwitter Web App
RBG is spinning in her fucking grave rn. She better haunt the absolute FUCK out of any asshole who had anything to do with this ruling Friday, June 24, 2022 1:55:51 PMTwitter Web App
Jesus fucking Christ. I go to the local pizza place / bar to treat myself and work from here for a late lunch, it's deserted, and an asshole walks in hacking up a lung. I stg if I get Covid Ima be pissed Friday, May 20, 2022 3:57:06 PMTwitter Web App
@notshenetworks Well explained! 👍 Don't let asshole haters stop you from making more great content.
In reply to @notshenetworks's tweet
Saturday, May 14, 2022 11:40:29 AMTwitter for Android
Am I the asshole if people show me pics of their kids and their dog is in it, I focus and care much more about the dog? lol Saturday, May 14, 2022 1:03:28 AMTwitter for Android
@JoshMandelOhio You're an asshole
In reply to @JoshMandelOhio's tweet
Tuesday, May 03, 2022 1:30:32 PMTwitter Web App
These dumb assholes wonder why when they're paying over $30 million an episode for season 4 of Stranger things. I mean, it's a good show but not that good. https://t.co/tlCZdbOvYN
In reply to @'s tweet
Friday, April 22, 2022 12:22:44 AMTwitter Web App
Yankees have runners on 1st and 2nd, so obviously they bat .000 with runners in scoring position because this team is ass and Cashman is an asshole Tuesday, April 19, 2022 6:53:15 PMTwitter for Android
I hate apps where you buy the pro version that lasts a lifetime, and then they run out of money and introduce a pro plus version or some shit like that and start taking away pro features. The assholes Tuesday, April 19, 2022 8:26:29 AMTwitter for Android
Like, some asshole had dirty glasses, and they called an optometrist who came with lights and sirens just to clean mud off glasses.

Fuck outta here with this idiot shit
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, April 16, 2022 1:53:32 PMTwitter for Android
For fucks sake MLB players are weak fucking assholes. My ONLY good pitcher injures himself on opening day. Cuncel the fucking season https://t.co/DedCd0QOyf Friday, April 08, 2022 4:00:08 PMTwitter Web App
Let's talk about ceiling textures. There are only two acceptable textures: completely smooth, or knockdown. Anything else, especially popcorn ceilings, look like asshole Monday, April 04, 2022 2:14:46 PMTwitter Web App
@TIME I'm sorry, but I shouldn't have to drive less because Putin decided to be a fuckin asshole.

And I'm all for being green and transitioning off fossil fuels, but that shit takes time and you need to be rich to do green energy atm
In reply to @TIME's tweet
Friday, March 18, 2022 10:14:49 PMTwitter Web App
I can't do my taxes yet because my asshole investment guy didn't send me a finalized 1099. I have some half ass estimated version that is going to change.

1) I want my gd refund. I don't believe in loaning the US interest free money
2) IRS is backlogged, so it's gonna take ages 		Friday, March 18, 2022 9:38:57 PMTwitter Web App
HEY MARJORIE, you stupid bitch. You're banned on here for being an asshole so I can't @ you, but I hope anonymous fucks you all up https://t.co/zst6XO6lDI Friday, March 18, 2022 10:01:58 AMTwitter Web App
Warren Buffett is an asshole buying billions of dollars in Occidental Petroleum. He did it, so I was like "that billionaire cracker knows what he's doing" So I bought some too. And of course it's in the red.

But it's all for the long term 		Wednesday, March 16, 2022 6:41:31 PMTwitter Web App
Dude if you're gonna pay like 80k+ for a Lexus suv, they should design it without an asshole looking front grill. This looks like a shitty cheap Toyota https://t.co/oM5dSzMut2 Wednesday, March 16, 2022 4:55:47 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck Russia for being assholes and fucking up the Global economy. Assholes. Wednesday, February 23, 2022 11:40:29 PMTwitter for Android
Welp, took an online test and it told me I'm an asshole who doesn't trust anyone https://t.co/Lbrj9QhfuN Wednesday, February 16, 2022 12:06:41 PMTwitter Web App
It's February 6th. If you still have your Christmas lights on, you're an asshole Sunday, February 06, 2022 9:43:52 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck that piece of shit asshole Larry Householder

You dick @HouseholderOH. I hope you go to prison for the rest of your life for being an asshole

https://t.co/0VLZaOL7RP 		Saturday, February 05, 2022 7:01:22 PMTwitter for Android
So about that time I had to call poison control on myself because I had allegedly eaten 100mg of my dog's Lasix (diuretic / water pill) that I hid in a raspberry because I also started snacking on raspberries and am a scatterbrained asshole. Thursday, February 03, 2022 1:18:06 AMTwitter Web App
Oh what a bummer, I've always liked Eric Clapton's music but I didn't realize he was a fucking asshole: https://t.co/caVci9tad8

And he's complaining he lost friends? Eat a dick 		Monday, January 24, 2022 10:56:27 AMTwitter Web App
Happy 2022! Cheers to another year of battles between delusional virus/science denying Trump rednecks and woke assholes! #WeAreAllInHell Saturday, January 01, 2022 10:31:32 AMTwitter for Android
TypeScript is a horseshit programming language. nodejs. and npm can also fuck right off.

I can't believe some asshole thought it was a good idea to use this bullshit for infra automation instead of say, python. 		Tuesday, November 30, 2021 12:05:05 PMTwitter Web App
@tedcruz Ted, you're an asshole
In reply to @tedcruz's tweet
Monday, November 08, 2021 5:51:43 PMTwitter Web App
@BarstoolHubbs This motherfucker Laz Diaz is still around? I remember that asshole calling shitty games when I was like 10 years old when the Yankees actually were good.
In reply to @BarstoolHubbs's tweet
Thursday, October 21, 2021 12:24:04 AMTwitter Web App
Oh look. Katy Perry's hair is dark again. She looked like an asshole as a blonde https://t.co/v6zUMUYEQo Monday, September 27, 2021 3:03:40 PMTwitter for Android
Mike Lindell is the dumbest person alive. All he had to do is continue selling his shitty pillows and shut the fuck up with all the Trump propaganda and he'd be like every other rich asshole CEO. But instead, he's being sued for billions of dollars https://t.co/xtNZNSs8VD Friday, September 03, 2021 10:16:38 AMTwitter for Android
Ron Desantis is anti-mask because he wants people to catch covid. He is in bed with the companies creating these expensive monoclonal antibodies and only wants to line his pockets. He's a piece of shit asshole who should be in prison for treason and fraud Sunday, August 29, 2021 3:01:12 PMTwitter for Android
@GovRonDeSantis HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. How does it feel that you got sued to reverse your order blocking masks? Good. Asshole. HAHAHAAHA
In reply to @GovRonDeSantis's tweet
Friday, August 27, 2021 11:57:04 PMTwitter for Android
If Chapman fucks this up, he's an asshole Friday, August 27, 2021 1:16:28 AMTwitter for Android
@GovRonDeSantis How's it going, asshole? https://t.co/PapIhkE4lT Thursday, August 26, 2021 1:33:06 PMTwitter Web App
These antivaxxing variant factory, reality-denying morons have blood on their hands and fucked up all our good progress against Covid. Thanks assholes https://t.co/c0mG0E9Gdx Thursday, August 26, 2021 1:26:13 PMTwitter Web App
Fuckin asshole. The world is burning hot and society will collapse in the 2049s and this asshole is raising the prices on his solar shit and paying himself billions to live in a 50k container house

https://t.co/Rpo9dT4Ry7 		Tuesday, August 10, 2021 10:46:40 PMTwitter for Android
And Rob Manfred is a fuckin asshole with this runner on second in extras rule. How is it supposed to shorten the game. It's lengthening it Tuesday, August 10, 2021 12:23:55 AMTwitter Web App
I was an asshole to Sundar Pichai and Rick Osterloh on Twitter, and is it no coincidence my Nest doorbell broke the next day? Thursday, August 05, 2021 5:03:25 PMTwitter for Android
I mean, if you're running Android 2.x in the year of our lord 2021, you're an asshole.

https://t.co/tw6WaG1tqi 		Monday, August 02, 2021 11:30:22 PMTwitter for Android
I'm sorry, but the engineer who did this is a gd asshole...

1) Pushing as "Administrator" directly from our build agent. I know who you are.
2) Stop polluting my repo with test commits https://t.co/bjX8UwUuy5 		Tuesday, July 06, 2021 12:52:06 AMTwitter Web App
This guy pitches like a piece of shit asshole without his spider tack. Can we get out money back.

https://t.co/GhIHOMgfkv 		Monday, July 05, 2021 9:14:19 AMTwitter for Android
BAHAHAH RUDY G disbarred in NYS for being a dumb asshole! I want a full press conference at Four Seasons Total Landscaping! Thursday, June 24, 2021 5:35:27 PMTwitter Web App
The Yankees STINK. Get Boone the fuck out. He stinks. Baserunning stinks. Pitching stinks. Hitting stinks. Cashman stinks. Steinbrenner rolling in grave rn

I can't root for this horse shit team. It's no fun to even watch these little league assholes 		Sunday, June 13, 2021 4:15:55 PMTwitter Web App
This fuckin asshole Trump is coming out of the woodwork again I see. Sunday, June 06, 2021 9:32:58 AMTwitter for Android
This is pretty savage. Finally Google with some balls. They're like: "Eat my asshole, Roku" https://t.co/gwPnEBQcRz Saturday, May 08, 2021 11:42:40 PMTwitter for Android
No one wants to work shit jobs where you get abused by asshole customers for shit pay when you can just stay home and collect free money. Maybe pay better?

https://t.co/Rfq8duUPgB 		Saturday, May 08, 2021 11:28:11 AMTwitter for Android
The engineer that quit a few months ago... His code is SO SHITTY, I want to gauge my eyes out. This is what I get for letting him "run with it"

And now I have to clean up this mess. Asshole. 		Tuesday, April 27, 2021 11:23:20 AMTwitter Web App
@MayorGinther The @ColumbusPolice didn't kill any of the white OSU kids rioting and flipping cars though

Your department is horse shit garbage. Keep flying your helicopters in CPD patterns assholes.
In reply to @MayorGinther's tweet
Wednesday, April 21, 2021 9:28:04 AMTwitter Web App
Button your jersey, you disheveled fuck with a 9.00 ERA. Causes all kinds of drama in the offseason and then starts off like an asshole. Steinbrenner's gotta be spinning in his grave. Cuncel Germán https://t.co/iQH2GAiBhF Sunday, April 04, 2021 11:57:46 PMTwitter for Android
@JoshMandelOhio @Abuyousef @IlhanMN @RashidaTlaib @CAIRNational @JoshMandelOhio Remember when you posted this poll, you pile of shit?

"Muslim Terrorists?" Isn't that being Islamophobic?

Don't you understand Islam is a peaceful religion? There are radical assholes everywhere, and they do not represent the majority https://t.co/G7JKGGlV2D
In reply to @JoshMandelOhio's tweet
Monday, March 29, 2021 1:50:25 PMTwitter Web App
How many times do I have to tell Product/UX motherfuckers that you're goddamn assholes if you prevent pasting into password fields. Because I randomly generate insane passwords. Now you're making me create them insecurely because I have to type it manually and it's not as complex Friday, March 26, 2021 12:12:21 AMTwitter Web App
Whoever decided that my house needed to have two tanks was a fuckin asshole. Yeah, there's a whirlpool tub, but the fuck do you need a gas and an electric tank for. What a waste of energy. We're three people! Wednesday, March 17, 2021 3:49:04 PMTwitter Web App
@mijo_77901 @MARYHam77598720 @AP When did you choose to be straight, asshole?
In reply to @mijo_77901's tweet
Monday, March 15, 2021 6:53:36 PMTwitter Web App
@Microsoft whoever was historically responsible for MSMQ is a fuckin asshole Sunday, February 21, 2021 9:50:53 AMTwitter for Android
Raze this piece of shit building immediately. Looks like asshole in the NYC skyline and we have whiny ass rich people saying it sucks https://t.co/aAaBl6b59Y Friday, February 12, 2021 10:26:51 AMTwitter Web App
My mind is blown. Here I am spending more money like an asshole on uncured lunch meats, trying to avoid sodium nitrate and nitrite. I know damn well, that they use celery salt, which has nitrates, but was like whatever dude, it's just celery... NOPE. Shit's equally as bad. Thursday, February 11, 2021 1:33:17 AMTwitter Web App
I'm sorry, but these are two fuckin assholes for naming their son whatever the fuck that name is. https://t.co/RjySSrT5xD Monday, February 08, 2021 2:55:30 PMTwitter for Android
@mtgreenee Hey man, Mitch is a shit person, but he's right about this one, asshole. You are a cancer, Marjorie. At least Mitch, who still sucks, has respect for the Constitution
In reply to @mtgreenee's tweet
Tuesday, February 02, 2021 12:47:45 AMTwitter for Android
Dudes, I know cross site tracking cookies and targeted ads are shady and shit like that, but if I have to click another fuckin popup to accept cookies on every new site I visit, I'm gonna lose my shit.

Whoever came up with this law iss an asshole causing shit ux across the web 		Saturday, January 30, 2021 8:23:29 AMTwitter for Android
I wish I were in the position to tell my company to go fuck themselves for abuse. I FUCKING hate what I do every day. Nothing would give me more joy to pull a Billy Walsh (Entourage) on every single suit and asshole who is making me miserable

I wish them all the fucking worst 		Wednesday, January 27, 2021 9:14:04 PMTwitter Web App
@LindseyGrahamSC @senrobportman He retired because he can't deal with fuckers like yourself who spread propaganda and lies that led to an insurrection. Portman refused to S trump's D so he had to leave the party.

The GOP is a fucked dumpster fire. Good, you asshole.
In reply to @LindseyGrahamSC's tweet
Tuesday, January 26, 2021 12:41:52 AMTwitter Web App
Who are the IDIOTS over on Costco's cybersecurity team that think it's a good idea to prevent pasting into the password field on the signup page. So now I can't generate a 24 character random password and store it, assholes. Guess I'll use 'password123' instead! Tuesday, January 26, 2021 12:09:56 AMTwitter Web App
Fuck restrictions on cruel and unusual punishment. I'm in favor of it. Whoever did this should get ASSHOLE carved into their entire back with a machete https://t.co/0uj37cpnEQ Thursday, January 14, 2021 11:25:15 AMTwitter Web App
@HawleyMO @simonschuster Fuck your book, asshole. Put it up your ass, you insurrection causing pile of 💩

You are a terrorist and should get waterboarded
In reply to @HawleyMO's tweet
Friday, January 08, 2021 2:00:08 PMTwitter Web App
@RudyGiuliani You're a national disaster and Borat made you look like a fuckin asshole, you dirty old man
In reply to @RudyGiuliani's tweet
Thursday, January 07, 2021 12:20:52 PMTwitter Web App
Why are these people objecting and looking like jagoff assholes, when they don't meet the requirements for an objection. F'in idiots! Thursday, January 07, 2021 12:07:53 AMTwitter Web App
Welp, it's Monday. Every asshole is back to work, our release team fucked shit up, and Slack is down so I have no idea wtf is going on. Monday, January 04, 2021 10:27:01 AMTwitter Web App
A list of delusional dumbfuck pieces of shit, unfit to represent a pile of shit
@tedcruz
@RonJohnsonWI
@jameslankford
@SteveDaines
@MarshaBlackburn
@SenatorBraun
@SenJohnKennedy
@CynthiaLummis
@RogerMarshallMD
@BillHagertyTN
@TTuberville

Suck Trump's dick, assholes. 		Saturday, January 02, 2021 4:44:08 PMTwitter for Android
@realDonaldTrump You're a fuckin loser. Hope you had a shitty Christmas, asshole
In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet
Friday, December 25, 2020 9:21:16 PMTwitter for Android
Whoever at @Microsoft was responsible for how MSMQ is managed through powershell is a fuckin asshole, specifically regarding clustered queues. Why do we have to set an environmental variable. Couldn't we just pass in the cluster role name?

Fuckin jagoff 		Friday, December 11, 2020 2:01:58 PMTwitter Web App
@realDonaldTrump You're an asshole
In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet
Thursday, December 03, 2020 10:52:04 AMTwitter Web App
AJIT PAI (@AjitPaiFCC) IS STEPPING DOWN JAN 20th WHEN ASSHOLE @realDonaldTrump LEAVES AND THEY CAN BOTH GO FUCK THEMSELVES AND EAT 12 BAGS OF DICKS. I AM ELATED ATM

https://t.co/4elTAZX9T9 		Monday, November 30, 2020 11:31:45 PMTwitter Web App
@Dar1n9 @AEPOhio @OhioStatehouse @PUCOhio @firstenergycorp Larry Householder is a corrupt asshole, who was in jail and re-elected by a bunch of Trump puppet MORONS.

The @ohiogop are a bunch of corporate shill morons who are pro-cancer for supporting unclean energy.
In reply to @Dar1n9's tweet
Monday, November 30, 2020 11:24:10 PMTwitter Web App
I popped onto Slack for a couple minutes and 900 people are bitching about X and on tirades about Y. And I didn't have to deal with any of that bullshit. Some other asshole can fix it all and I'll get back right when things chill out again.

Enjoyyyyy
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, November 30, 2020 11:21:08 PMTwitter Web App
Like, what kind of braindead asshole is going to pay a fee to deposit funds into a non-FDIC insured GPay account, when you can just use your bank's Zelle, Venmo, PayPal or Cash app for free.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, November 24, 2020 11:41:22 PMTwitter for Android
This is all asshole @AjitPaiFCC's fault. New administration needs to clean up all this FCC riff raff. You corporate shill.

https://t.co/gXktckX1vs 		Monday, November 23, 2020 10:55:26 PMTwitter for Android
@realDonaldTrump You're an asshole Tuesday, October 27, 2020 4:08:03 PMTwitter Web App
I always have to rewrite this asshole's code. Guy comes in after me, writes shit code, they think he's Jesus Christ, and I'm always cleaning up his goddamn mess Tuesday, October 27, 2020 9:37:55 AMTwitter Web App
This is all asshole @AjitPaiFCC's fault. Broadband in America STINKS

https://t.co/jaolhi3cZa 		Monday, October 05, 2020 9:21:19 PMTwitter for Android
@realDonaldTrump You're a fuckin asshole
In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet
Wednesday, September 30, 2020 2:16:34 PMTwitter for Android
How ironic that our asshole-in-chief pardoned a black lady for shit white people get away with all the time Friday, August 28, 2020 7:26:38 PMTwitter for Android
@EvanS_FCC IT SHOULD NOT COST $70/MONTH FOR 100/10 INTERNET AND WE HAVE NO CHOICE TO PICK A CHEAPER FASTER PROVIDER

GO EAT AJIT'S CORPORATE VERIZON ASSHOLE
In reply to @EvanS_FCC's tweet
Tuesday, August 25, 2020 9:05:58 PMTwitter for Android
Here's a picture of my dog's shitty asshole and a sign supporting a shitty asshole https://t.co/d9r3OeNjL6 Monday, August 24, 2020 8:13:06 PMTwitter for Android
@realDonaldTrump @senatemajldr Because you're down in the polls and trying to use the pandemic to your advantage and rig the election you piece of shit asshole
In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet
Wednesday, August 19, 2020 3:10:21 PMTwitter Web App
@DanielCameronAG @louisvillemayor @LMPD

Hey shithead assholes: How come the murderous pigs who killed Breonna Taylor are still free? 		Tuesday, August 11, 2020 10:29:34 PMTwitter for Android
@abartlett @RiaJairam @AjitPaiFCC @IlyaSomin @reason Ajit is an asshole, corporate shill Trump puppet
In reply to @abartlett's tweet
Sunday, July 19, 2020 2:16:53 PMTwitter for Android
Tip: be an asshole like Larry David

https://t.co/WCVk4BQlQg
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, July 19, 2020 7:43:35 AMTwitter for Android
Whoever created these ID ranges in this DB manually is an moron asshole. 54 rows in the table and the IDs go up to 100 million. I was batching through this by 100 and was wondering why it never finished https://t.co/8lilhPIffu Friday, July 17, 2020 2:48:45 PMTwitter Web App
@GovKemp You're an asshole, hick, science denying, Trump sucking motherfucker
In reply to @GovKemp's tweet
Thursday, July 16, 2020 10:49:21 PMTwitter for Android
@realDonaldTrump You're an asshole
In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet
Thursday, July 09, 2020 12:58:26 PMTwitter Web App
Ya know... Finally got a free moment to work on some shit for work that I never have time for and am way behind on, and the asshole parent company disabled my prod account so EAT A DICK. Monday, June 08, 2020 11:45:44 PMTwitter Web App
I don't even get in until 9. And this asshole scheduled it over the weekend. Jagoff
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, May 25, 2020 9:27:59 PMTwitter for Android
I didn't look at the username I was messing with. I was flat out just being an asshole. Welp, this is my parody Twitter anyway.

But I should reevaluate my life
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, May 23, 2020 1:43:07 AMTwitter Web App
@ChiefTenaya What a terrible thing to say. Shame on you. Pets are family. It's like losing a family member. Asshole.
In reply to @ChiefTenaya's tweet
Monday, May 18, 2020 1:09:40 AMTwitter for Android
Get a load of this asshole who has the entire driveway open but decides to block the sidewalk. This car has been here for months.

If my dog shits in your yard while I'm walking around your car, and I don't pick it up, it wasn't me https://t.co/YKwG10eAR0 		Monday, April 27, 2020 8:20:24 PMTwitter for Android
FUCKING @Apple BOUGHT AND RUINED DARKSKY. Can only use it on iOS.

And shutting down the API. Assholes. 		Tuesday, March 31, 2020 9:17:08 PMTwitter Web App
@realDonaldTrump Fox News originally said Coronavirus was a hoax you piece of shit asshole.
In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet
Saturday, March 28, 2020 8:38:32 AMTwitter for Android
@SenBlumenthal @LindseyGrahamSC you two assholes trying to pass a bill to break encryption? Sunday, March 15, 2020 7:20:54 PMTwitter for Android
"good morning, I cleaned the clutter out of the kitchen nook. It was driving me nuts forever and looked terrible"

"FUCK YOU, YOU NEGATIVE COMPLAING ASSHOLE"

is a great start to my day and how all my days are. 		Saturday, March 14, 2020 8:16:21 AMTwitter for Android
Not that anyone's working during the plague, but let's just stop my complex scripts I'm focusing on to show a new engineer how to do basic shit in ansible

NBD. My shit can slip and I can look like an asshole while I train new people on basic shit like logging into shit 		Thursday, March 12, 2020 2:03:12 PMTwitter Web App
Is this shit satire, or serious? If it's true, I'm'a live to be a million! Going to have to disagree with it though. Being an asshole sucks

https://t.co/pCOUWRh5xu 		Wednesday, March 11, 2020 12:39:51 AMTwitter Web App
New blog post: Entitled, Gen Z Asshole Google Engineer Whines About Being Fired https://t.co/8vT0fv3fPR Friday, December 20, 2019 2:28:36 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
Whoever did the drywall in my house was an asshole. They used dollar store drywall tape. How does it get this shitty in only 15 years? https://t.co/IU3DvKnCL5 Thursday, December 19, 2019 9:46:43 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Fucking Christ. What kind of inbred morons try to legislate things that are scientifically impossible? These assholes would rather see a woman die than to "murder" an ectopic embryo? Good Lord! https://t.co/auelrlVskj Friday, November 29, 2019 7:33:29 PMTwitter for Android
What kind of asshole pays money for this shit. Take this goddamn sign down. #loveislove

Keep your shitty opinions to yourself. I don't care who gets married to who. https://t.co/1ebGeKpyLB 		Sunday, November 10, 2019 4:41:56 PMTwitter for Android
Benjamin Franklin was a diabolical asshole for coming up with daylight savings time. Saturday, November 02, 2019 8:21:45 PMTwitter for Android
@AjitPaiFCC @FCC You're an asshole
In reply to @AjitPaiFCC's tweet
Wednesday, October 02, 2019 1:11:45 PMTwitter for Android
Were any Yankees placed on the injured list celebrating their division win?

You'd think some asshole would have high fived wrong or slipped and fell of champagne 		Friday, September 20, 2019 1:38:02 AMTwitter for Android
No kidding. The entire NY metro area breeds a bunch of fuckin assholes

https://t.co/uoFjPaQW32 		Thursday, August 22, 2019 12:27:37 PMTwitter Web App
Bought the fastpass to skip 5 lines at the food truck festival and I feel like the worlds biggest asshole Saturday, August 17, 2019 4:11:40 PMTwitter for Android
The fucking plane lands and there's another plane at the gate and no one answered our pilot. Now we had to move out of the way of "traffic" at 11:30

Some asshole fell asleep. I need to get home, I've been gone since last Friday. Fuckssake
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, August 16, 2019 11:40:25 PMTwitter for Android
Nice jetbridge, @LGAairport. Fucking shithole. The board was wrong, the flight was delayed, the @Delta gate agent was asshole and now I have to get on a bus. The FUCK is this. https://t.co/nnDd91vA7b Friday, August 09, 2019 4:52:03 PMTwitter for Android
Getting all my window trim replaced on my house because M/I Homes thought it was a good idea to use fuckin corregated cardboard so it could soak in water over 10 years and rot my plywood. Cheap assholes. Use PVC Tuesday, July 09, 2019 10:43:59 AMTwitter Web Client
I just ran out of mother fuckin propane at my bbq. I'm going to blame the previous owner for being an asshole and having a spare natural gas line available but not hooking up the outdoor kitchen to it Thursday, July 04, 2019 7:45:21 PMTwitter for Android
Whoever over at Google works on Chrome's password manager are a bunch of goddamn incompetent assholes. How can you not determine the difference between two subdomains? I locked my accounts out like 95 times because of this shit Monday, June 24, 2019 4:01:26 PMTwitter Web Client
Do better, Ohio. We need to get these intolerant assholes the fuck outta hea. Cut this shit out canceling harmless events and making. Haters hating for no reason https://t.co/YOIdVk8uW1 Sunday, June 02, 2019 2:35:25 AMTwitter for Android
The asshole @EPA thinks it's a good idea to triple the allowed level of thyroid disrupting perchlorates in drinking water.

Fuckin assholes. Gotta protect those company profits! Doesn't matter that everyone's getting cancer.

https://t.co/IwaJAZUJsR 		Friday, May 24, 2019 10:01:20 PMTwitter for Android
Suicide attempt:
https://t.co/ICW7yWol2Q

PS - not to be an asshole, but kind of to be an asshole: how hard could it be to kill yourself on train tracks? If the train runs over your neck, you're dead. Imagine trying to die and you end up paralyzed the rest of your life? Yeesh. 		Sunday, May 19, 2019 2:39:37 AMTwitter for Android
1:41AM on Sunday morning and the MTA answered my facetious tweet. Not only did I call them a bunch of assholes but they told me they were hiring! What an organization!

BTW - How much overtime is that social networking marketing person making? https://t.co/rrqxZVX315 		Sunday, May 19, 2019 2:24:12 AMTwitter for Android
You assholes hiring? @MTA @NYCTSubway @MetroNorth

https://t.co/Zq2xDZ9tii 		Sunday, May 19, 2019 1:39:13 AMTwitter for Android
The one time I'm actually in the office, my boss was remote and heard me calling him an asshole through my coworkers mic, who was in a call with him... Whoops Tuesday, May 14, 2019 2:08:08 PMTwitter for Android
No free speech anymore? I blame these radical hate group assholes for this, because now companies regulate what we can say. I can't call my governor an asshole these days? https://t.co/sGYksDRkMc Monday, May 13, 2019 10:48:56 PMTwitter for Android
Asian countries have 1gig internet for the equivalent of $20/month. Costs me $65/month for 100/10. What about the hicks in the boonies on dial up trying to hit up https://t.co/DQrvHHb3RU. They deserve fast broadband too

This is an outrage, @AjitPaiFCC you corporate shill asshole
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, May 01, 2019 2:53:43 AMTwitter for Android
Wow, this fuckin guy really let himself go. Aged like shit in just 5 years. Guess this is what happens when you're a terrorist asshole living in a cave in some shithole https://t.co/FxqzCkxpWu Monday, April 29, 2019 5:56:08 PMTwitter Web Client
Maybe I'm being a cynical Yankee fan over here... I should be happy we're up 6-5 after bitching all night but all I can think of is "which bullpen asshole is going to blow the save?" Thursday, April 25, 2019 1:21:44 AMTwitter for Android
😠 @MikeDeWine is an old white asshole who should not be telling women what they can do with their bodies.

What a moron. Do you know how much money this is going to waste in lawsuits? Why can't you be more like @JohnKasich 		Saturday, April 13, 2019 12:23:37 AMTwitter for Android
My NY asshole-ness came out real hard. Ruthless. Bet this Miss Piggy looking bitch won't be wearing perfume in public again after hearing my mouth run
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, March 21, 2019 9:16:09 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: Asshole Trump's China Tariffs Are Costing Me More Money And I Have Proof https://t.co/cwP9xB9QHo Monday, February 25, 2019 2:13:31 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
@realDonaldTrump Remove the tariffs you stupid asshole. All the shit I bought from China on Amazon in August is now $5-15 more per item.
In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet
Sunday, February 24, 2019 7:27:01 PMTwitter for Android
TurboTax, are you SERIOUS? Donate $3 to the Presidential Campaign fund? Fuck outta hea. Motherfuckers already have pacs. I'm not paying the shit ass government any extra money.

1) The president is an asshole
2) I owe $4000 in taxes b/c my withholdings got fucked up

#eatadick https://t.co/0rXKFyhaEU 		Thursday, February 21, 2019 12:32:15 AMTwitter Web Client
So let me get this straight... took a $5,500 portfolio devaluation due to a shitty 2018 stock market, but because I didn't sell any of it and made $1,000 in dividends and capital gains, I owe the ASSHOLE government $300 extra in income tax... Thursday, February 14, 2019 1:39:45 AMTwitter Web Client
Beautiful, clean coal for these dumb inbreds who voted for the asshole who is responsible for deregulating this shit: https://t.co/dYX0TaST1v Wednesday, February 13, 2019 12:31:26 PMTwitter Web Client
Hey @AjitPaiFCC: you're a goddamn asshole

Sorry, Ajit: Comcast lowered cable investment despite net neutrality repeal https://t.co/dap1ha1NYH 		Saturday, January 26, 2019 10:35:59 PMTwitter for Android
Get this old white asshole out of my state

https://t.co/WYUpxnWnjf 		Wednesday, January 23, 2019 8:27:14 PMTwitter for Android
The new @googlechrome UI looks like hideous asshole, and they removed the flag to use the old UI. Thursday, December 27, 2018 5:31:11 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking Microsoft and it's Windows 10 updates 1) Deleting people's files 2) Intel pushing bad audio drivers through Windows updates

Why? They are more concerned with stupid fucking features like 3D paint.

Get the fuck out of here. Will you assholes release stable shit?
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, October 29, 2018 1:35:11 AMTwitter for Android
Missed my entire fucking Halloween party because I recommended against something but my boss made us do it anyway at 7PM on Friday and then another asshole engineer broke the cluster and boom, 5 hours wasted.

Everyone can eat a dick
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, October 29, 2018 1:33:00 AMTwitter for Android
Technology is goddamn infuriating. Everything is a buggy piece of shit. Nothing works right. Product owners are overpaid assholes who add useless features and don't focus on a smooth experience Monday, October 29, 2018 1:28:51 AMTwitter for Android
Will all you asshole Mac people stop checking in .DS_STORE bullshit files into git repositories and zip files? Use .gitignore kthx Friday, October 19, 2018 1:25:16 PMTwitter Web Client
jfc with the guy that threw beer on that A's fan. Be classier, Yankees fans. We already have a bad rep for being assholes. Friday, October 05, 2018 1:01:13 AMTwitter for Android
Ajit Pai is an asshole Monday, September 10, 2018 8:35:35 PMTwitter for Android
When I find the motherfucker who stole my gas tank cap, I'm going to be plugging their asshole shut with it Tuesday, August 21, 2018 10:47:17 PMTwitter for Android
Everyone's driving like fucking assholes rn Sunday, July 22, 2018 5:49:13 PMTwitter for Android
While @AjitPaiFCC is a fuckup asshole, and I agree with a free and open internet, THIS SHOULD NOT BE A DEMOCRAT VS REPUBLICAN ISSUE https://t.co/XGgc9rwoLg Thursday, May 17, 2018 4:40:05 PMTwitter for Android
Hey @AjitPaiFCC: GO FUCK YORSELF
(Although it won't get past the house or ya boy Donnie). But you're still a fuckup asshole corporate shill

https://t.co/stTsYb1obm 		Wednesday, May 16, 2018 4:22:07 PMTwitter for Android
@lenovo @MotorolaUS Way to update it too, assholes. Last security patch was 12/2016 and the OS is two years old. Fuck off
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, September 14, 2017 12:12:28 PMTwitter for Android
These $2 Miller lites taste like asshole. Bad batch. I'm sticking to hot dogs Friday, August 04, 2017 5:53:57 PMTwitter for Android
What will happen first? @MotorolaUS suck it, I'm getting a pixel next. Way to keep your shit updated assholes Sunday, July 16, 2017 2:17:48 AMTwitter for Android
This judgy wudgy idiot probably likes the D himself. Be more Christian asshole and be nice to everyone. https://t.co/26YNzX125f Saturday, June 24, 2017 12:38:01 AMTwitter for Android
Slack really needs to stop being an asshole and randomly ending up 5 miles off my screen with no way for me to get it back. Wednesday, June 21, 2017 10:12:51 AMTwitter Web Client
Attention assholes in left lane: If I'm tailgating you, move over - you're too slow. Monday, May 22, 2017 6:22:29 PMTwitter for Android
Hey assholes over at @Azure This is a valid cron expression, eat a dick https://t.co/ehisXZXrjf Friday, May 05, 2017 10:31:32 AMTwitter Web Client
Hey assholes at Motorola. Still don't have Nougat on my Pure Edition you fuckin slows. And I'm rocking 12/2016 security patches. Real secure Wednesday, May 03, 2017 6:04:48 PMTwitter Web Client
You're an asshole if you stand in a group circle talking / blocking the narrowest part of Grand Central in the middle of rush hour Monday, April 17, 2017 9:04:45 AMTwitter for Android
Everything is unacceptable. Product people are assholes because if they actually used their own product, they'd notice their shitty UX Monday, April 17, 2017 2:00:43 AMTwitter for Android
Jesus H. Christ, @LinkedIn. What dumb asshole decided it was a good idea to send an InMail message with enter by default? https://t.co/yzqnFYhGIx Monday, April 10, 2017 5:50:56 PMTwitter Web Client
The only way Goodell doesn't kill himself from all the massholes hating on him is if he's as delusional as Trump is #eveyonewhodisagreeslies Tuesday, February 07, 2017 2:18:59 PMTwitter Web Client
What kind of moronic @NYCTSubway assholes decided to close an escalator at the GCT 4/5 during rush hour? Total clusterfuck #thefuckingsubway Thursday, December 15, 2016 6:42:17 PMTwitter for Android
Now everything is perfect again. Fuck IT policy. Only assholes get viruses. https://t.co/uIHnfdeSiL Monday, December 12, 2016 4:30:14 PMTwitter Web Client
It's 2016. If you still use a SOAP API, you're an asshole. Fuckin shit is so clunky and repetitive it's not even funny Tuesday, November 08, 2016 4:50:19 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm a masshole this weekend Friday, October 07, 2016 7:11:52 PMTwitter for Android
Plus, they're absolutely blasting some shit news channel and I don't want to hear asshole Clinton and asshole Trump Saturday, September 17, 2016 2:47:05 PMTwitter for Android
@_Frankalank I cannot. You can literally floss her asshole
In reply to @_Frankalank's tweet
Wednesday, August 17, 2016 9:11:57 PMTwitter for Android
Whoever is eating the M&Ms toppers from the YoCrunch yogurts in our work fridge is an asshole. Savage move. Go buy your own fuckin M&Ms Wednesday, August 17, 2016 1:50:29 PMTwitter Web Client
Smells like mildewed, crusty, sweaty homeless asshole on this train Monday, August 15, 2016 7:14:33 PMTwitter for Android
This place. Got a sql job failing and waking up a DBA every night b/c some asshole's name in the system is 'Michael♪' instead of 'Michael' Monday, July 18, 2016 10:45:11 AMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: If You Get a Rare Bacterial Infection Because You Decided to Get Surgery in the DR, You're an Asshole https://t.co/1fS5VHafid Thursday, July 14, 2016 6:12:54 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
@scoopandslam Yankee Stadium is desolate and designed for rich corporate assholes. Sucks that everyone I talk to says Citifield's better.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, June 28, 2016 10:34:09 PMTwitter for Android
@CitiField bring me sausage and peppers assholes Wednesday, June 15, 2016 9:49:18 PMTwitter for Android
I'm a disgusting asshole and I can't even tweet it it was so gross Saturday, May 14, 2016 1:32:42 AMTwitter for Android
I'm a negative asshole that no one likes! Tuesday, May 03, 2016 9:13:06 PMTwitter for Android
These crackers just SQL injection shut down my SQL server #assholes #parameterize Wednesday, April 20, 2016 2:53:41 PMTwitter for Android
Trains always show up back to back to back... In the other direction. Meanwhile, I've been here like an asshole forever. #thefuckingsubway Friday, April 15, 2016 9:45:52 PMTwitter for Android
Love how the entire subway bench is open and this kid decides to sit right on top of my asshole #thefuckingsubway Friday, April 15, 2016 9:32:55 PMTwitter for Android
What kind of savage asshole would bring pizza into the conference room next to my desk while I'm on day 3/3 of my juice cleanse? Wednesday, March 16, 2016 12:10:29 PMTwitter Web Client
If you're a VP at a tech company, get your account compromised and send the entire company phishing emails, you're an asshole Friday, March 11, 2016 10:36:22 AMTwitter Web Client
If you buy an Android phone from a carrier, you're an asshole. Only buy an unlocked phone with no bloatware! https://t.co/PdpY3ATRUM Thursday, March 10, 2016 4:14:55 PMTwitter Web Client
There would be a touristy group of Asians fingering the Wall St Bull's asshole. #typical Monday, March 07, 2016 12:01:58 PMTwitter for Android
It smells like asshole in here. #thefuckingsubway Sunday, March 06, 2016 1:39:03 PMTwitter for Android
Someone's gotta clean their shitty asshole on this R train. Wednesday, February 24, 2016 6:32:23 PMTwitter for Android
What kind of asshole product people does @google have working on their Contacts preview in Gmail... Shit is weak. Half my groups are missing Tuesday, February 02, 2016 5:48:06 PMTwitter Web Client
Any dev writing software who stores settings in the registry, %appdata% or ProgramData under their first/last name is an asshole. Thursday, January 28, 2016 1:38:03 PMTwitter Web Client
Cocksucker assholes waking me up at 6am all weekend with fake assed on call alerts Sunday, January 17, 2016 6:17:57 AMTwitter Web Client
Good service your mother's asshole @NYCTSubway https://t.co/pzIiFVVaUW Wednesday, December 09, 2015 6:13:26 PMTwitter for Android
Seriously. Two days in a row with the R running like asshole: getting stuck for 20 mins; diverting to the M line. Fuckouttahea #MTA Wednesday, December 09, 2015 6:09:24 PMTwitter for Android
Um. Whoever played Carly Rae Jepsen at the bar on this, the day of Scott Wieland passing is an asshole. Friday, December 04, 2015 1:51:35 AMTwitter for Android
Someone needs to tape this asshole's mouth shut until she starves to death https://t.co/WsjvnNmu60 Saturday, November 28, 2015 1:30:33 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus fuckin Christ Mets. I'm not even a fan but stop making New York loo like a joke to these farmer midwest assholes Saturday, October 31, 2015 11:41:24 PMTwitter for Android
What kind of asshole schedules a 2PM weekly meeting on Fridays. This interferes with my bar run Friday, October 23, 2015 1:15:38 PMTwitter Web Client
Guy operating this 5 train has gotta be shitfaced. Way to hard brake and accelerate every 3 seconds like an asshole Friday, October 23, 2015 12:15:57 PMTwitter for Android
Sick customer your fuckin ass. Get the asshole off the train and move along. Friday, September 04, 2015 4:11:23 PMTwitter for Android
I'm gonna make sure some bitch McAsshole knows that the guy he fired who told him to fuck off helped me solve this critical issue. #cunts Saturday, August 29, 2015 3:01:02 AMTwitter for Android
Once again, what kind of idiot asshole picks the stall next to you in the shitter when they're all empty. Buffer zone, bro. Wednesday, August 12, 2015 10:59:25 AMTwitter for Android
EPA: "Welp, we were trying to clean up shit but instead we accidentally dumped 3 mil gallons into the river."

Assholes should go to prison 		Monday, August 10, 2015 9:39:59 AMTwitter Web Client
I feel like an asshole to my followers for all this because I despise spammers. Sorry. They are good causes though. Monday, August 03, 2015 11:17:32 AMTwitter Web Client
2012 Nexus 7 runs like absolute asshole on Lollipop. Maybe 6.0 will fix this? http://t.co/kW0GydOlKM #android #feedly Friday, July 03, 2015 4:37:28 PMTwitter for Android
To the gentleman wheeling around a mini fridge on the subway during rush hour earlier: You're an asshole. Wednesday, June 24, 2015 7:31:10 PMTwitter for Android
DOM ≠ DNS you fucking Vice President asshole Wednesday, June 03, 2015 10:33:43 AMTwitter Web Client
These fucking cunts are about to ruin my birthday because at 5:32 they JUST realized they're releasing untested code tomorrow you ASSHOLES Monday, June 01, 2015 5:32:19 PMTwitter Web Client
Most senior asshole here getting shit on Friday, May 29, 2015 10:42:52 AMTwitter Web Client
Whoever's operating this 5 train is a real asshole with the brakes and accelerator. Be smooth bro. Friday, May 22, 2015 9:27:37 AMTwitter for Android
TIL ISIS Stands for Islamic State of Iraq and Syria. Never knew..

PS - Don't murder me or investigate me for mentioning those assholes 		Friday, May 15, 2015 3:37:56 PMTwitter Web Client
I just grabbed a dudes ass to make an asshole girl after him jealous because I can smack that and she cannot. Friday, May 08, 2015 12:16:22 AMTwitter for Android
I just ate ghost pepper salsa like an asshole Thursday, April 02, 2015 1:59:58 PMTwitter Web Client
What kind of asshole checks in PDB files (C# debugging binaries) into source control? Wednesday, April 01, 2015 6:13:55 PMTwitter Web Client
12k +14.4k people are fuckin hipster asshole Apple fanboy ignorants. If Apple released shit in a box, it'd sell out http://t.co/b2sCurW1R1 Monday, March 09, 2015 11:25:33 PMTwitter for Android
Not giving up shit for Lent. So damn stupid. I'm just going to stop being an asshole to people for 40 days. How bout them apples? Wednesday, February 18, 2015 1:00:30 PMTwitter Web Client
Everyone is actively walking like an asshole today and getting directly in my way Wednesday, February 18, 2015 9:02:57 AMTwitter for Android
Fucking assholes fix it @TWC_NYNJ http://t.co/xi7KIoXbvw Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:43:31 AMTwitter for Android

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