Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit



1683 results for ass


[«]‹34567›[»]
Page 6 of 7 | Showing 1251 to 1500
Tweet Date Source
fuck me in the ass... that was the worst tequila shot ever... completely sober and almost puked Saturday, November 12, 2011 9:12:41 PMtxt
These bitch ass tricks didn't replace the milk Friday, November 11, 2011 12:12:48 PMTwitter Web Client
I'll stop the geek assed tweets. I sound like I have ZERO life... Thursday, November 10, 2011 10:24:19 PMTwitter Web Client
I can't deal with the fucking dumbasses over at @FairfieldMirror or @mirrorfairfield or whatever the fuck twitter they use now. Site is done Wednesday, November 09, 2011 12:20:59 AMTwitter Web Client
I just realized that it's hard for code to get by my rigorous QA. I'm a nit-picking pain in the ass. Devs hate me. I love perfection. Tuesday, November 08, 2011 1:10:47 AMTwitter Web Client
BRADY. Y U PASS TO WRONG TEAM? I'll take it! Sunday, November 06, 2011 6:05:34 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: Kombucha Sounds Like A Pussy Ass Drink to Me http://t.co/tCeqEIl Sunday, November 06, 2011 12:02:16 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
Passed a Hooters billboard with a bunch of girls on it and my mom stopped and asked which ones were my type. hhhhhhhhh Saturday, November 05, 2011 1:39:07 PMtxt
i'd rather put 46 rusty needles through my dick than to talk to this bitch ass client... Thursday, November 03, 2011 12:43:50 PMtxt
Just saw on the news that lonliness is linked to depression. Ya think, you fuckin assholes? No shit. Who does these idiotic studies? Tuesday, November 01, 2011 11:29:05 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew Shitshow? Get you ass back to work joker. I remember the first time I got hammered at lunch.
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Monday, October 31, 2011 6:47:17 PMTwitter Web Client
Theres an asshole Con Ed guy walking around in circles looking at the poles and cant find the problem =/ Sunday, October 30, 2011 7:21:08 PMtxt
Pet peeve: Greasy assed smudges all over train windows. Wash your filty assed hair, people and dont lean on it. Friday, October 28, 2011 8:53:50 AMtxt
DLK is a badass: "Those guys need to a we're not fucking dumbasses asterisk next to our account" Thursday, October 27, 2011 9:56:36 AMTwitter Web Client
everyone is walking like they have cocks rammed up their asses in grand central. get the fuck out of my way Monday, October 24, 2011 7:25:25 PMtxt
Obviously, it rains harder the minute i walk out of the car and start waiting for this late ass train. Wednesday, October 19, 2011 8:51:35 AMtxt
I'd just like to point out that configuring Ubuntu's iptables to allow passive FTP traffic through fucking blows Tuesday, October 18, 2011 2:07:43 AMTwitter Web Client
RT @wastpito @portfolioso was [in a Twitter class] wearing a bald cap shooting a classmate with his banana gun. #intoxicateddreams Saturday, October 15, 2011 4:43:08 PMTwitter Web Client
testing Twitter updates from text... ya know... because i have a ghetto ass phone for 2 more weeks Saturday, October 15, 2011 12:18:38 PMtxt
Dear Verizon. Stop capping fuckin YouTube traffic assholes. I have 25MBPS symmetrical internet and my YouTube videos load like f'in dialup Wednesday, October 12, 2011 9:26:01 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Three Useless Assholes http://t.co/emaIi3B Friday, October 07, 2011 1:06:42 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
It's always a good sign when the builds they give us pass my Selenium scripts instead of failing like 15 times along the way. Monday, October 03, 2011 6:38:20 PMTwitter Web Client
Oh god that's putrid. I gassed this fuckin train out. Sunday, October 02, 2011 1:52:22 AMTwitter for Android
MTA finally got those useless ass countdown clocks working on the 4-5-6 line in Grand Central. Only took them like 4 years and $200 million Thursday, September 29, 2011 10:59:08 AMTwitter Web Client
This is a skunked ass magic hat Wednesday, September 28, 2011 9:09:25 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck the Mets & Jose Reyes. Lousy, slacker lowlife cheating organization. I hope Braun goes 5-5. Embarrassment to New York. Get the fuck out Wednesday, September 28, 2011 4:22:58 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Russia Is A Pimp Assed Country http://bit.ly/mWinLF Tuesday, September 27, 2011 2:53:57 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
Welp, I've got jack shit to do for another 20 minutes while I wait for this build to finish compiling before I can test it's ass off. Monday, September 26, 2011 9:50:59 AMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Quick Text Pasting Windows App (Because I'm a Lazy Ass) http://t.co/1pJlU8D Monday, September 26, 2011 1:25:27 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
I'm such a fucking jackass. Wondered why I couldn't log into my SQL server... Thought it was a bad password. SQL service wasn't running... Saturday, September 17, 2011 9:30:51 PMTwitter Web Client
The ass on this one... Wednesday, September 14, 2011 2:23:25 PMTwitter for Android
The fuck is it with bitch ass UK clients trying to use mother fucking leading zeroes in Excel? It removes it, shitheads! And you blame us... Monday, September 12, 2011 10:23:48 PMTwitter Web Client
Marketing girls just brought us Red Bull. Is it bad that I 100% associate it with Jager? Monday, September 12, 2011 2:18:05 PMTwitter Web Client
Blast from the past: Found this tweet from back in the days @SumthinEclectic Thursday, September 08, 2011 1:05:00 AMTwitter Web Client
Day after Labor Day = every moron is back from summer vacation. Aka jammed ass trains. Tuesday, September 06, 2011 8:51:16 AMTwitter for Android
With no error logs. At least throw an error, asswipe Monday, September 05, 2011 9:55:54 PMTwitter for Android
Why won't mother fuckin apache start on this bitch ass server? Monday, September 05, 2011 9:55:20 PMTwitter for Android
Wake up. Leg itches. Feel huge ass bug on leg. knock it off. It's a gigantic spider. #winning Sunday, September 04, 2011 2:42:51 AMTwitter Web Client
Jeweler goes to change my watch battery (I'd do it myself but it was impossible to open) and scratched the fucking shit out of it. Asshole Saturday, September 03, 2011 4:20:49 PMTwitter for Android
ass. titties Saturday, September 03, 2011 3:34:08 AMTwitter Web Client
@SumthinEclectic Happened to me. I had a bot guess my FTP password, download my index.php files, inject malicious javascript, then reupload.
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Friday, September 02, 2011 11:59:21 AMTwitter Web Client
@nyJULZmd Better than when I had class with you... All you did was talk, draw dicks and jokes in my notebooks and make fun of worming girls.
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
Thursday, September 01, 2011 12:04:37 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuck. Now its crazy windy after the storm passed... if my internet goes out, I swear Sunday, August 28, 2011 3:59:50 PMTwitter for Android
RT @plasma2002: Just had the best idea ever... Graham cracker, marshmallow, and...... Kit-kat. Sounds like it kicks a smore's ass! #fb Saturday, August 20, 2011 8:12:05 PMTwitter for Android
Yeah. Just park your rig in the middle of an intersection on 22. Jackasshole Friday, August 12, 2011 10:35:40 PMTwitter for Android
password is "letmein" Friday, August 12, 2011 3:28:45 AMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Boring Ass Post: I Ramped Up Traffic To This Blog in 2011 http://bit.ly/r4Oolh Sunday, August 07, 2011 10:35:22 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
I need a threesome with these two dental assistants. Stat. Saturday, August 06, 2011 12:04:39 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: Asshole President Spams Twitter Encouraging People to Tweet to Lawmakers Over Debt Ceiling? http://bit.ly/pt1Oz6 Friday, July 29, 2011 7:10:27 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
protip: It's easy to crash the shit out of Gmail if you use up your entire storage allocation. Runs like ass. Wednesday, July 27, 2011 1:47:46 AMTwitter Web Client
What is this fuckin Granderson doing, dropping routine fly balls (in the stupifd assed marshmallow ceiling) and throwing the ball away. Tuesday, July 19, 2011 9:40:17 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: This Bald Ass Facebook Pic I Was Tagged in is Freaking Me Out http://bit.ly/pduNnC Saturday, July 16, 2011 1:20:59 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
This bitch's giant fat ass is intruding my seat. Can't even put my elbow down. Friday, July 15, 2011 7:44:49 PMTwitter for Android
This elevator smells like greasy asshole. Friday, July 15, 2011 3:26:09 PMTwitter for Android
Someone shut this mother fuckin baby up. Screaming in cold blood this asshole is Thursday, July 14, 2011 10:22:51 PMTwitter for Android
I can't write a mother fuckin sentence without some bitch ass interrupting me. Someone get me a private office so I can slam doors on people Wednesday, July 13, 2011 6:52:20 PMTwitter Web Client
9PM and no dinner. Then they wonder why I'm so fat.. I sit on my ass all day and slow my metabolism down bc I don't eat regularly. Monday, July 11, 2011 9:01:07 PMTwitter Web Client
This is a chatty assed train car. Normally its quiet.Everyone shut the fuck up. Monday, July 11, 2011 8:54:36 AMTwitter for Android
Ooo. That's an ass and three quarters Friday, July 08, 2011 7:50:23 PMTwitter for Android
NYC Subways are running like fucking asshole right now. Thursday, July 07, 2011 5:25:29 PMTwitter Web Client
Awesome. I just ripped ass loudly all over Dan's office as I boosted my fat ass out of a chair. Tuesday, July 05, 2011 5:46:28 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: If You're Going to Hack Fox News' Twitter, At Least Do it Right, Assholes http://bit.ly/mLs9t7 Monday, July 04, 2011 1:35:09 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
Fuck these fuzzy assed apples that taste bland and it's like I'm eating cotton. The FUCK man. Thursday, June 30, 2011 12:31:03 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: What's Up With Google's New Ugly Ass Gray Bar? http://bit.ly/mz3HpT Wednesday, June 29, 2011 12:40:21 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
Bring me that ass! Tuesday, June 28, 2011 10:26:19 AMTwitter Web Client
@SumthinEclectic Yeah me in Huntley's class via Trac: "EHHHHHH. What a dick. This fool's checkin caused the Drupal module to stop loading."
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Monday, June 27, 2011 2:27:27 AMTwitter Web Client
@dannyrob88 fuckin pop him you bitch ass.
In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet
Saturday, June 18, 2011 12:00:53 AMTwitter for Android
Proof of how much of a whack job I am: I'm wearing boxers, a santa hat and sunglasses. It's June. It's almost 10PM. Jeez. Wednesday, June 15, 2011 9:53:44 PMTwitter Web Client
Walked a few blocks in NYC. Would be nice if this asshole couple would stop fucking each other every corner while waiting for the light. Friday, June 10, 2011 2:54:02 PMTwitter Web Client
Such a pain in the ass when the CEO is in the house. He steals all my VPs away from me when I need them for shit Monday, June 06, 2011 2:22:54 PMTwitter Web Client
Such a pain in the ass when the CEO is in the house. He steals all my VPs away from me when I need them for shit Monday, June 06, 2011 2:22:54 PMTwitter Web Client
Mmmm. I have a boss ass sandwich today for lunch Monday, June 06, 2011 12:20:53 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: This Ass Pillow Is A Stupid Idea http://bit.ly/lxSUwL Thursday, June 02, 2011 11:00:44 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
Klassy with a k Saturday, May 28, 2011 1:35:43 AMTwitter for Android
Way to leave the bases loaded assholes. Lose the fucking game now. You 65 years olds all deserve it Wednesday, May 18, 2011 11:07:20 PMTwitter Web Client
Wow. Pint glass sized mixed drinks for $5 on a Saturday night? Frickin free dude. We're not in New York anymore Toto Saturday, May 14, 2011 11:44:39 PMTwitter for Android
Such a great ass. Oh. My. God. Saturday, May 14, 2011 3:15:08 AMTwitter for Android
This random, no name minor league stiff Buddy Carlyle can go fuck himself, because he's pathetic. Way to blow the game asshole. Wednesday, May 11, 2011 11:02:05 PMTwitter for Android
Sales girl is literally wearing the shortest ass shorts I've ever seen before. Hot. I probably didn't make eye contact with her before. Oops Tuesday, May 10, 2011 3:35:56 PMTwitter for Android
These pussy ass programmers get all offended at my bug reports when I say something sucks... fuck that. If I say it sucks, it sucks Monday, May 09, 2011 1:31:23 PMTwitter for Android
F this bar for giving me a mets glass... http://t.co/KR2SvlD Thursday, May 05, 2011 3:17:28 PMTwitter for Android
Completely ridiculous that some c word assed ugly bitch I hated in high school turned out to be an absolute smoke bomb. wow. Monday, May 02, 2011 2:30:08 AMTwitter Web Client
Some ass posted a fb virus link on my wall. I'm not at a comp. Why can't I delete it from the android app or mobile site? fucking zuckerberg Sunday, May 01, 2011 10:41:28 PMTwitter for Android
BMI is 26.2 Should be between 18.5-25. I'm fucking fat. Plus, I'm out of shape. Old fucks were passing me nonstop when I was biking #nogood Sunday, May 01, 2011 1:42:03 PMTwitter Web Client
The ass on this one... Saturday, April 30, 2011 2:46:13 PMTwitter for Android
RT @dannyrob88: Sitting on this shitty,ass train w @portfolioso ... He looks like a fag Monday, April 25, 2011 10:41:24 PMTwitter for Android
WOW MY fantasy team pitching sucks dick this wee. Thanks lncecum you ass. 37.2 INN, 38 HA, 22 BBI, 33 K, 23 ER, W, 4 L, 2 S Saturday, April 23, 2011 8:30:12 PMTwitter Web Client
@Waspito what's all this shit every time I tweet something you always respond with a know it all wiseass critical answer? Saturday, April 23, 2011 1:14:13 AMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: HAHA Your Shitty iPhone is Spying On Your Ass http://bit.ly/fnfiyf Thursday, April 21, 2011 9:13:51 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
This bartender has quite the amazing ass. Thursday, April 21, 2011 2:50:01 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: This Freak Ass Barbie Doll's Got Some Pair of Tits http://bit.ly/g3mywA Monday, April 18, 2011 9:36:59 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
Nothing like a Monday morning meeting with two fucking suit asshole CEOs pissed off at our system because fucking sales oversold them... Monday, April 18, 2011 10:37:12 AMTwitter Web Client
@nyJULZmd nice ass ringo
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
Friday, April 15, 2011 11:41:24 PMTwitter for Android
Ahhh shit. Got into the habit of abusing my coworkers' asses me style.... winning Friday, April 15, 2011 10:45:50 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: How Badass is this new Foo Fighters Video? http://bit.ly/i19aTP Thursday, April 14, 2011 10:33:03 AMtweets.portfolioso.com
Is it really wise to rollerblade on the subway platform? What a dumbass. Wednesday, April 13, 2011 7:16:27 PMTwitter for Android
Gmail legitimately runs like asshole when the account is more than half full. Tuesday, April 12, 2011 1:28:15 PMTwitter Web Client
Seriously, who goes to the NCAA championship game with such a shitty assed lame sign. Monday, April 04, 2011 10:21:32 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Fucking AT&T Started Popping Caps In Your Ass http://bit.ly/fL99Am Monday, March 14, 2011 12:20:23 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
Great asses on the Marist dance team... Find me at the Holiday Inn rm 520. #winning Saturday, March 05, 2011 6:55:09 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: Verizon Is Slacking Their Asses off With the Android Phones http://bit.ly/h4dpyk Wednesday, February 23, 2011 9:21:55 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
Its like 60 outside. Roasty toasty. If I don't see naked asses out in the park, I'll complain loudly. Friday, February 18, 2011 2:22:27 PMTwitter for Android
This ugly ass asian's ginormous dome is blocking my view of the hot redhead Wednesday, February 16, 2011 7:45:07 PMTwitter for Android
I feel for you sweetie... the classic third wheel. Poor thing. Friday, February 11, 2011 12:51:47 AMTwitter for Android
I'll tell you one thing... If Google's Superbowl commercial is as pussy ass as last years, I'm gonna kill a kitten Sunday, February 06, 2011 6:58:53 PMTwitter for Android
Protip: Don't sit on icy benches. You'll get a wet ass. (@ Madison Square Park w/ 2 others) http://4sq.com/e9aPMF Thursday, February 03, 2011 5:41:08 PMfoursquare
THAT ASS Thursday, February 03, 2011 11:23:02 AMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella Stop retweeting general ass astrology junk that can apply to anyone
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Tuesday, February 01, 2011 8:49:22 PMTwitter Web Client
Fucking New Haven line.... stalled ass train clogging up my tunnels Friday, January 28, 2011 7:47:54 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: How Pimp is this Small Assed Ping Pong Ball Apartment? http://bit.ly/gtD4QP Saturday, January 22, 2011 1:26:58 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
Must. Never. Drink. Office. Coffee. Again. Spent my evening on the shitter nonstop. Ass is gonna fall off. Friday, January 21, 2011 12:54:53 AMTwitter for Android
Someone has some bangin ass Chinese on this train. Smells nom. I have to shit and thanks to MLK, my train is not an express Monday, January 17, 2011 7:24:00 PMTwitter for Android
Bacardi owns towson right now. They have sluts with free samples, tshirts and huge asses in every bar Saturday, January 15, 2011 12:57:11 AMTwitter for Android
Jesus... the asses on these Bacardi girls. Friday, January 14, 2011 11:47:03 PMTwitter for Android
FUCK... Should have bypassed the load balancer and sent that 130,000 record request directly to the db server. This'll screw up. FAAK MEEE Friday, January 14, 2011 2:26:31 AMTwitter Web Client
GL to my boy Dwai. Gonna miss that bitch ass QA guy. Friday, January 14, 2011 12:07:42 AMTwitter for Android
My coworkers shotgun like a bunch of pussies. I sucked ass and drew circles around them. Thursday, January 13, 2011 10:06:02 PMTwitter for Android
@SumthinEclectic surpasshosting
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Wednesday, January 12, 2011 12:29:23 AMTwitter Web Client
Would be helpful if my fucking database server wasn't down again so my 2 blog readers could actually read it. My host sucks ass. Tuesday, January 11, 2011 9:43:28 PMTwitter Web Client
Swear to God, I'm gonna murder these fuckers if they keep fucking up and making me do the stressful ass cleanup. Monday, January 10, 2011 9:11:57 PMTwitter Web Client
What a pussy assed snowstorm. Friday, January 07, 2011 4:17:10 PMTwitter for Android
This ho just bent the fuck over. Borderline hottest tightest ass I've ever seen Thursday, December 30, 2010 11:06:37 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: If you Strangle Yourself to Death with a Neck Massager, You Deserve to Die http://bit.ly/dWx18h Thursday, December 30, 2010 10:16:56 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
@ShavingFoams Hey, I like doing things half assed, so that'll work
In reply to @ShavingFoams's tweet
Monday, December 27, 2010 7:44:35 PMTwitter Web Client
How come I don't get a new 2x quad core Xenon with 12 gigs of RAM for my work computer? I'm stuck with an old ass core 2 quad. Thursday, December 23, 2010 11:10:30 AMTwitter Web Client
@nyJULZmd Stupid asshole. It snowed by you? Should have sent it up north.
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
Thursday, December 16, 2010 5:27:23 PMTwitter Web Client
It's always FUCKING USER ERROR. I love when clients bitch the fuck out of us and then "we all share the same password" DUH!!! You broke it. Monday, December 13, 2010 1:00:48 AMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Those Crazy Assed Russians... http://bit.ly/eX82s6 Saturday, December 11, 2010 12:05:14 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
I have to piss so fucking badly and some asshole took a shit with the only bathroom key, fml. Tuesday, December 07, 2010 2:24:40 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: Dear Assholes Over at Verizon Wireless: http://bit.ly/hZOahS Monday, December 06, 2010 10:32:13 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
I want a fucking Nexus S and it's only on fucking T Mobile... Bitch ass trickkkk Monday, December 06, 2010 9:39:00 PMTwitter Web Client
Perfect ass in tights and dickwrecking boots. Wow. Friday, December 03, 2010 2:31:32 PMTwitter for Android
Like I'm the biggest ass man going and her ass was right in my face and out of respect I couldn't touch it. Sunday, November 28, 2010 12:09:35 AMTwitter for Android
What the hell is with Verizon's spotty ass 3g along the railroad tracks. 90% of the time, I'm on 1x. Fuckin piece of shit Tuesday, November 23, 2010 8:56:56 AMTwitter for Android
Dexter was fucking outrageous. It's such a good ass show. Sunday, November 21, 2010 10:00:54 PMTwitter Web Client
My next phone will be a Nexus Two pending it comes to Verizon. VZ better not shit it up with bloat or skins either. motoblur and sense = ass Monday, November 08, 2010 5:06:56 AMTwitter Web Client
God damn fucking shit piss booger ball sucking fucking cocksucking bitch ass cunt tits penis twat cum guzzling rapist whore slut Saturday, November 06, 2010 3:27:50 AMTwitter Web Client
I suck ass at new york city Friday, November 05, 2010 11:53:20 PMTwitter for Android
Didn't expect that firm of an ass from a whory ass slut Friday, November 05, 2010 10:33:56 PMTwitter for Android
And remember folks, today is election day. Go out there and vote for your local asshole #fuckthegovernment #allpoliticiansareuseless Tuesday, November 02, 2010 4:38:40 PMTwitter for Android
Whatever slut just got kicked off w/e gay ass dancing show my moms watchin on ABC is a fuckin smoke Tuesday, October 26, 2010 10:02:07 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin a dan I got u username wrong bc its complicated as fuck u ass Saturday, October 23, 2010 10:12:27 PMTwitter for Android
Just hit a huge ass bump on the train. We lose a wheel? Hit a pothole on the track? Friday, October 22, 2010 7:46:03 PMTwitter for Android
Dat ass. Walkin east on 23rd st Monday, October 18, 2010 4:54:17 PMTwitter for Android
Watchin the Giants on Fox because I can. Sucks to your assmar, Cablevision peeps. Sunday, October 17, 2010 2:01:28 PMTwitter for Android
Dat ass x 10... damn Sunday, October 17, 2010 11:44:30 AMTwitter for Android
What the fuck is up her ass? Pissed all day Wednesday, October 13, 2010 3:41:05 PMTwitter for Android
I like your dog. And your ass through them shorts Wednesday, October 13, 2010 3:27:17 PMTwitter for Android
Just saw Roger Waters do The Wall. Siiiiick. (@ Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum w/ 19 others) http://4sq.com/79U9XI Tuesday, October 12, 2010 10:50:13 PMfoursquare
$94 for an eSATA external enclosure and 2TB HD? Newegg rocks! Building your own HD is always cheaper than the pre-assembled shit (eg, $165) Monday, October 11, 2010 12:41:27 AMTwitter Web Client
@ShavingFoams bright side: let's build glass underwater tunnels later
In reply to @ShavingFoams's tweet
Thursday, September 30, 2010 4:48:46 PMTwitter for Android
Penn Station, the LIRR and NJ Transit are ass. Enjoyed your delays tonight from a little rain storm? Sucks. I got home fine on Metro North Friday, September 17, 2010 12:35:32 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuck you you cunty assed blue screening ATI drivers. Time to spend an hr trying to solve why I blue screen when watching fuckin youtube vids Thursday, September 16, 2010 11:14:56 PMTwitter Web Client
My highlight of the night was jacking this glass from the bar. Does this make me a tool? http://twitpic.com/2nm563 Sunday, September 12, 2010 2:27:47 AMTwitter for Android
And, I'm fucking fat. Should have given my wendys to that homeless dude. Would have done him better than my fat ass. Now I feel bad Sunday, September 12, 2010 2:00:03 AMTwitter for Android
Smokes love my new sunglasses. Comments walking out of the store Saturday, September 11, 2010 12:02:47 PMTwitter Web Client
I don't care if I'm an ass man... omg the rack on that one. Jeez. Thursday, September 09, 2010 4:33:19 PMTwitter for Android
@Waspito accounting sucks balls. If I only took accounting classes, id fail out of college in 5 minutes
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Thursday, September 09, 2010 8:47:57 AMTwitter for Android
@Waspito No it's not sarcasm. It's obligatory to inform your tweeple about fine pieces of ass in your vicinity
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Wednesday, September 08, 2010 9:27:47 PMTwitter Web Client
@Waspito love "dat ass" tweets. It is important to inform twitter whenever you run into a worthy ass
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Wednesday, September 08, 2010 3:57:38 PMTwitter for Android
Dear construction guys outside my window, shut the fuck up with your grinding ass machine. Wednesday, September 08, 2010 2:16:46 PMTwitter for Android
What the f is up with Google's logo today? Crazy assed company... Tuesday, September 07, 2010 7:49:13 AMTwitter Web Client
"You better get a funnel, put it up your ass and vent it out the window because you'll stink us out tonight" Sunday, September 05, 2010 11:10:51 PMTwitter for Android
Omg polka dot ass. I neeeeed. Saturday, September 04, 2010 1:39:56 AMTwitter for Android
I'm at The Brass Rail (135 Washington St, 2nd St, Hoboken). http://4sq.com/4o8QvW Friday, September 03, 2010 8:58:48 PMfoursquare
And ignore that sleaze location in my previous tweet. Just passing through... Tuesday, August 31, 2010 7:40:33 PMTwitter for Android
I need to stop ripping ass at my desk Tuesday, August 31, 2010 9:52:05 AMtwidroid
This grammar poster is hanging in a second grade classroom and I have no fucking idea what it means: http://twitpic.com/2i1pn7 Wednesday, August 25, 2010 10:25:21 AMtwidroid
@plasma2002 I laughed my ass off at that when I first saw that. Then I felt bad and was like, I suck.
In reply to @plasma2002's tweet
Monday, August 23, 2010 3:18:41 PMtwidroid
How fucking dumb is a projector with height adjusters not on even sides. How do I get the picture straight assholes? Tuesday, August 17, 2010 4:24:29 PMtwidroid
Everyone on the Yankees FUCKING SUCKS ASSHOLE tonight, errors, sloppy play, 0 hitting. Christ, Playing like the fucking Mets Monday, August 16, 2010 9:13:00 PMTwitter Web Client
Watching best fl beaches on travel channel. My grandpa: "they're showing off the asses too" lol Sunday, August 15, 2010 6:20:46 PMtwidroid
Dat ass... Tuesday, August 10, 2010 11:29:46 AMtwidroid
Bases loaded 0 outs and you all struck out? Fucking lose the game now assholes. Christ Monday, August 09, 2010 4:41:44 PMTwitter Web Client
Full suit and tie goin in to nyc on this hot ass day and I'm jealous of these fuckin smokes taking the train to the yankee game Monday, August 09, 2010 12:13:13 PMtwidroid
Terry Francona just made me laugh by calling Pedroia a pain in the ass on Sunday night baseball Sunday, August 08, 2010 9:28:22 PMtwidroid
Dibs on that tye dyed ass Friday, August 06, 2010 3:53:36 PMtwidroid
I'd just like to point out that this teachers assistant in here is an absolute bombshell. Friday, August 06, 2010 9:25:01 AMtwidroid
New blog post: Random Ass News Links of the day (8/4/2010) http://blog.portfolioso.com/2010/08/04/random-ass-news-links-of-the-day-842010/ Wednesday, August 04, 2010 8:32:35 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
@Colithika you are at harry potter world you fucking ass? Bring me there now!
In reply to @Colithika's tweet
Friday, July 23, 2010 7:18:48 PMtwidroid
I have a great idea for a T-Shirt. I just need a high res (clothed) ass, preferably drawn. Any ideas? I'm weirded out searching Google. Monday, July 19, 2010 4:43:29 PMTwitter Web Client
They have me digging trenches and laying pipe (not for that ass to make her dance) http://twitpic.com/246dxh Saturday, July 10, 2010 6:17:24 PMtwidroid
ABOUT TIME Facebook got rid of that ghetto assed Java uploader and replaced it with AJAX and html Tuesday, July 06, 2010 4:48:53 PMTwitter Web Client
Can you please explain these fuckin weak ass keys that break in two when you put them in a lock and turn gently? http://twitpic.com/22zwu0 Tuesday, July 06, 2010 3:00:21 PMtwidroid
New blog post: The Pope is an Asshole http://blog.portfolioso.com/2010/07/02/the-pope-is-an-asshole/ Friday, July 02, 2010 7:32:49 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
someone just asked "did he get tapped in the ass" instead of "did he tap any ass" BIG difference, especially when describing a dude. Tuesday, June 29, 2010 5:23:15 PMTwitter Web Client
We labeled the AC last year in a classroom. It's still there: http://twitpic.com/211n4p Tuesday, June 29, 2010 3:26:44 PMtwidroid
Can these fucking classrooms get a little hotter? This is cruel and unusual punishment. Tuesday, June 29, 2010 10:12:21 AMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Who Would Buy This Stupid Ass Mouse? http://blog.portfolioso.com/2010/06/26/who-would-buy-this-stupid-ass-mouse/ Saturday, June 26, 2010 3:29:28 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
@ShavingFoams But you don't make a phone with a glass back, even if its gorilla glass. It's dumb. Use plastic, rubber, metal or acryllic.
In reply to @ShavingFoams's tweet
Friday, June 25, 2010 1:04:55 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Wait? iPhone 4 Has a Glass Back? http://blog.portfolioso.com/2010/06/25/wait-iphone-4-has-a-glass-back/ Friday, June 25, 2010 12:11:49 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
DAT ASS... Tuesday, June 22, 2010 6:14:23 PMtwidroid
I am sitting in a glass windowed office talking on speakerphone. People outside think I'm crazy and talking to myself. Tuesday, June 22, 2010 5:23:42 PMTwitter Web Client
WHOA who the fuck was that. The ass on that one. No women live around here. Thursday, June 17, 2010 8:52:21 PMTwitter Web Client
Yankees. Pull the bats out of your asses and use them. The fuck mang Thursday, June 17, 2010 8:34:58 PMTwitter Web Client
Moyer you 47 year old gray wrinkled bitch. You have no right beating the defending world champs, who kicked your asses last October. Wednesday, June 16, 2010 9:15:07 PMTwitter Web Client
@waspito figure of speech asshole. You see a pic of it? Rhig is a monstrosity. Tuesday, June 15, 2010 11:14:00 PMtwidroid
By the way, this cool ass fall weather needs to stay for the whole summer. I am loving it and do not miss the heat. I hate the fucking heat. Thursday, June 10, 2010 2:39:08 AMTwitter Web Client
Breaking news: teixiera gets a base hit. fuckin miracle, assmunch is hitting .211 Tuesday, June 08, 2010 7:12:26 PMtwidroyd (original)
Fuck you phillies. Only bc I know a gross assed mean phillies fan who's nasty Monday, June 07, 2010 9:30:10 PMtwidroyd (original)
Nutcase ass shit Wednesday, June 02, 2010 1:43:50 AMtwidroid
Fuck this fuckin faulty ass droid gps. Phones getting replaced tomorrow Tuesday, June 01, 2010 11:47:56 PMtwidroid
Take this heat and shove it up your ass. It's May, not July Wednesday, May 26, 2010 5:46:33 PMTwitter Web Client
jesus fuckin christ. my house is so god damn gay. last night ever of college and everyones passed the fuck out Sunday, May 23, 2010 2:10:21 AMTwitter Web Client
Things I love: oversized bball sweats, jills ass & how my droid charger is the same as bberries so I can borrow their chrgr when I forget it Saturday, May 22, 2010 3:36:07 AMtwidroid
This evil ass asian pimp assed mug is fuckin legit to drink beer out of: http://twitpic.com/1pwzz5 Saturday, May 22, 2010 2:24:01 AMtwidroid
GOOGLE > APPLE (F you Steve Jobs and your lame ass keynotes). Google just went to town at I/O Thursday, May 20, 2010 9:16:31 PMTwitter Web Client
@RockNationRadio asshole. I wanted to go but I'm down in Maryland. Cnt go in oct but the machine is at the Hilton in AC this summer. You in?
In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet
Saturday, May 15, 2010 7:18:49 PMtwidroid
Dat ass... Wednesday, May 12, 2010 2:55:44 PMtwidroid
No more classes, one more paper and 3 finals and then done forever Tuesday, May 04, 2010 6:17:44 PMtwidroid
On my way to my last undergrad class ever... yay, but scary Tuesday, May 04, 2010 4:53:21 PMtwidroid
I've never met suh germophobe with such a weak ass immune system and who's sick nonstop Tuesday, April 27, 2010 2:44:52 PMtwidroid
Ready to wipe my ass with all these senior portraits Tuesday, April 27, 2010 6:16:40 AMtwidroid
Correction: bass guitar. And moderately hot. (@RockNationRadio sent me a creepercam of WVOF. Merry Christmas to you too, James) Monday, April 26, 2010 9:24:41 PMTwitter Web Client
Live band in WVOF next door. Female guitarist has her ass against the window, can't tell if shes hot or not but it's a good ass. Monday, April 26, 2010 9:03:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Dibs on this ass Friday, April 23, 2010 11:20:30 PMDELETED
@Waspito what pussy ass place are you at? I don't get carded here
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Friday, April 23, 2010 6:19:44 PMtwidroid
The ass on that one. Jeesh Friday, April 16, 2010 7:26:24 PMtwidroid
Fact: Whenever you rip ass in your office alone and it reeks, someone will always knock and visit you. Never fails. Thursday, April 15, 2010 3:06:15 PMTwitter Web Client
Dibs on that ass Wednesday, April 14, 2010 6:20:22 PMtwidroid
This ass wakes up at 3:30 and raises the heat when I had it off. I swear I'm breaking into our basement & flipping the switch on the furnace Monday, April 12, 2010 3:29:52 AMTwitter Web Client
This freshman is a fucking dumbass and is too stupid to get herself some ass. Like legit blond Jersey dumb. Not worth my time Sunday, April 11, 2010 1:37:42 AMTwitter Web Client
Mirror Classics. Best He Said ever: http://fairfieldmirror.com/2003/11/19/hesaidwhenigetthatfeeling/ Thursday, April 08, 2010 2:46:38 PMTwitter Web Client
Dat ass Thursday, April 08, 2010 12:23:16 PMtwidroid
You tease assd cunt Wednesday, April 07, 2010 12:28:45 AMDELETED
Fuckin 95 in this classroom Tuesday, April 06, 2010 5:00:30 PMtwidroid
Crazy ass Japanese... who makes albino boob chocolate? http://twitpic.com/1diuo3 Monday, April 05, 2010 9:52:11 PMtwidroid
Fuckin becks and stella. They should be together. All green ass and shit. Saturday, March 13, 2010 3:19:38 AMtwidroid
Nice ass Tuesday, March 09, 2010 4:50:32 PMtwidroid
Back in Westchester, hopefully, sunburned. And real sun not that fake assed shit Tuesday, March 09, 2010 3:43:38 PMTwitter Web Client
Dude. Twidroids locarion is DEAD WRONG. I was in bronxville and it said I was in the hamptons. Fuckin east ass end of LI is not Westchester Saturday, March 06, 2010 4:26:09 PMtwidroid
@Colithika It's Saturday, get the fuck out of class
In reply to @Colithika's tweet
Saturday, March 06, 2010 2:58:03 PMTwitter Web Client
3 classes and a midterm away from paradi... Um not really. But at least I'll be off. Shame I can't bike because there's so much snow home Thursday, March 04, 2010 3:19:47 AMTwitter Web Client
Long ass day. Is it over yet? Monday, February 22, 2010 10:41:36 AMtwidroid
I don't join Facebook groups endorsing people running unopposed in elections. Only our stupid ass school government... Wednesday, February 17, 2010 10:38:08 AMTwitter Web Client
drinkin wine out of a beer glass. Fuck society and its norms and other made up bullshit Sunday, February 14, 2010 10:07:55 PMtwidroid
@ShavingFoams welcome to my world nucka. Fairfield u. Shitty ass computers. Shittier ass network.
In reply to @ShavingFoams's tweet
Friday, February 12, 2010 2:35:35 AMtwidroid
That was a legit piece of ass in the laundry room. Who wears tight ass booty shorts during a snowstorm anyway? No complaints here. Wednesday, February 10, 2010 5:24:18 PMTwitter Web Client
This class is a fucking waste of my life Monday, February 08, 2010 7:20:05 PMtwidroid
I love overhearing awkward convos while walking. Girl near grape: "my ass still hurts from yesterday" Friday, February 05, 2010 7:05:16 PMtwidroid
Yay 10 minute walk to class in the snow! Thursday, January 28, 2010 10:33:08 AMTwitter Web Client
wow non keyboard phones suck ass Monday, January 25, 2010 10:36:47 PMtxt
"I will bring the books we need to class tonight. Please bring cash or a check for $100 addressed to me." FUCK YOURSELF PROFESSOR. Monday, January 25, 2010 1:50:03 PMTwitter Web Client
ya know... if i got a little piece of ass to make up for it all this shit i maybe wouldn't care. but NO. never happens Sunday, January 24, 2010 4:12:15 AMDELETED
My fat fuckin ass just stepped on a scale and it was like E mother fucker Saturday, January 23, 2010 11:32:21 PMtwidroid
Haha. Remember this big ass piece of shit from 2005? http://twitpic.com/wuj3d Tuesday, January 05, 2010 8:40:57 PMtwidroid
Hey neighbor, let your stupid ass dog in. It's barking its ass off and annoying me. Thursday, December 31, 2009 1:45:31 PMTwitter Web Client
my top 5 most used twitter words are shit, fuck, time, fucking and ass. Thursday, December 31, 2009 3:00:07 AMTwitter Web Client
The truth or dare app on my Droid just told me to smack everyones asses. I'm pretty sure that's never a problem for me Thursday, December 24, 2009 5:50:49 AMtwidroid
@novellabella just beat me at Mortal Kombat. Yes, I just lost to a woman. But I assure you that I am a much better zombie killer. Monday, December 21, 2009 10:22:14 PMtxt

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