3716 results for fuck
| Tweet | Date | Source |
|---|---|---|
| Now everything is perfect again. Fuck IT policy. Only assholes get viruses. https://t.co/uIHnfdeSiL | Monday, December 12, 2016 4:30:14 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fuckin Antivirus and IT policy management software made my CPU 100% after installing Windows updates and I uninstalled the FUCK out of them | Monday, December 12, 2016 4:29:48 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Neil Young still makes good fuckin albums. In 2016. I blame drugs | Monday, December 12, 2016 4:06:13 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Why would anyone name their daughter Sloan? That's naming her after a fuckin toilet | Monday, December 12, 2016 1:45:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My Twitter newsfeed is basically Facebook right now. Complete bullshit ads and "you might like" fuck off bring back chronological | Monday, December 12, 2016 1:11:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fucking Motorola and their piece of shit turbo charger. The cable is not removable from the brick and USB-A is shit and gets loose. | Sunday, December 11, 2016 1:55:23 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo Instagram. Stop sending me fuckin push notifications that people who haven't posted photos in a while just posted a photo. Idgaf | Saturday, December 10, 2016 10:44:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm going to punch everyone who works on Azure in the face because it's infuriating as fuck to manage. PowerShell commandlets RARELY work | Thursday, December 01, 2016 4:02:31 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Gotta love Westchester. Will you landscapers shut the fuck up at 9:45 am the day after Thanksgiving? Trying to sleep in here | Friday, November 25, 2016 9:43:09 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Great, the 4/5 is all jacked up #thefuckingsubway | Tuesday, November 22, 2016 8:48:29 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Got woken up for oncall. Had to call a DBA in Russia to fix it. She didn't do anything and it magically started working. PLACE FUCKS WITH ME | Tuesday, November 22, 2016 4:19:10 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fuckin idiots. Cried wolf when I was trying to leave and I checked and everything's fine... | Wednesday, November 09, 2016 12:11:02 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| OMG THE ELECTUION. MY CANDIDATE ISN'T WINNING. EVERYONE SELL YOUR STOCKS AND CRASH THE MARKET. fuckin morons | Tuesday, November 08, 2016 10:52:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's 2016. If you still use a SOAP API, you're an asshole. Fuckin shit is so clunky and repetitive it's not even funny | Tuesday, November 08, 2016 4:50:19 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| @KFCBarstool it's about time you got this article back up on Barstool. Devnest fucked it up and lost it In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet | Sunday, October 30, 2016 8:16:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My 4:30 "30 minute" call is still going on a Friday afternoon. No one knows what the fuck they're doing and I want to jump off a cliff | Friday, October 21, 2016 5:39:39 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I fucking hate cocksucking piece of shit Microsoft Azure. Absolute garbage to manage | Friday, October 21, 2016 11:39:55 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Right.... They have Seamless in NY. I'm eating the fuck out of a pizza | Tuesday, October 11, 2016 11:01:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I like how this stupid fuckin bitch has half the subway car open yet decides to stand right up in my grillmix | Monday, October 10, 2016 6:25:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Chocolatey is a shitty package manager. No one updates openvpn, php or 7zip packages. The FUCK is the point then | Monday, October 10, 2016 5:46:23 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| The more these shitty leaders decide to be fuckin cocksuckers, the longer my lunches get | Monday, October 10, 2016 4:21:23 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| While I'm up in Mass, gotta quote The Departed: "I'm nawt a fucking cawp" | Friday, October 07, 2016 5:13:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Twitter is selling the fuck out. Can you even monetize bro? There's more garbage "you might like" aggregated bs and ads in my feed than ever | Thursday, October 06, 2016 8:57:34 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer is a fuckin dirtbag, allowing the NSA backdoors secretly. Never liked her. | Tuesday, October 04, 2016 4:40:07 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Dear @Windows. Would be nice if your fuckin OS didn't hang trying to reboot every time and I didn't have to pull my battery | Friday, September 16, 2016 9:15:34 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fuckin Microsoft outages all day. First Azure, now OneDrive | Thursday, September 15, 2016 4:06:05 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Back in ny ONE day and I get three 5 trains in a row when I need a 4 to Yankee Stadium #thefuckingsubway | Tuesday, September 13, 2016 6:27:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bill Nye is basically like telling us we're all fucked. https://t.co/4YVIG9bG3p | Saturday, September 10, 2016 11:52:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Aero shake is the stupidest fuckin Windows feature of all time: https://t.co/O10A6VBY3W | Thursday, September 08, 2016 12:05:22 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| NOTHING IS FUCKING WORKING TODAY | Tuesday, September 06, 2016 8:45:43 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Ahhh motherfucker. Just went on call for work. Guess I'll be up all week with our stability recently. | Thursday, September 01, 2016 12:08:28 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Why does everyone fuckin suck at what they do? I literally know nothing about GPOs and just figured out shit the go to guy couldn't. Chreest | Thursday, September 01, 2016 12:05:42 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| These clouds are fucking up my view of Venus and Jupiter overlapping https://t.co/C3zecoKHTN | Saturday, August 27, 2016 7:53:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @kerbear88 @MTA #thefuckingsubway In reply to @kerbear88's tweet | Saturday, August 27, 2016 6:48:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| WordPress 4.6 is slow as fuck on my VPS and I get a server error every time I post an article now... But it posts. | Wednesday, August 24, 2016 1:55:40 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I take two days off and these stupid fucks can't do anything without me. Now it's my headache to fix it all | Tuesday, August 23, 2016 2:25:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Azure is being fucking cuntish today | Monday, August 22, 2016 10:51:40 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I will reiterate a quote from my boy Derick circa 2011: "them n**** is fuckin" | Friday, August 19, 2016 11:00:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I've got this fuckin config file that inexplicably keeps getting overwritten with some mystery version. WUT DEE FUCK MON | Wednesday, August 17, 2016 6:52:13 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Whoever is eating the M&Ms toppers from the YoCrunch yogurts in our work fridge is an asshole. Savage move. Go buy your own fuckin M&Ms | Wednesday, August 17, 2016 1:50:29 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| @kerbear88 #thefuckingsubway In reply to @kerbear88's tweet | Wednesday, August 17, 2016 8:48:39 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Trains been at the station for 5 mins with the doors open letting the heat in. #thefuckingsubway | Wednesday, August 17, 2016 8:42:53 AM | Twitter for Android |
| This guy's fuckin goat/cow worshiping music needs to stop coming out of his headphones while I sit next to him | Tuesday, August 16, 2016 4:27:17 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| R train sucks a cock. 20 mins for it to show up in the morning. 20 minutes for it to show up going home. #thefuckingsubway | Monday, August 15, 2016 7:00:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| #thefuckingsubway is awful this morning. | Monday, August 15, 2016 8:52:29 AM | Twitter for Android |
| No wonder #thefuckingsubway is garbage. Infrastructure from like 1900: https://t.co/m7owX4lwla | Tuesday, August 09, 2016 1:04:42 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Ladies and gentlemen, 9% of the US is responsible for everyone getting stuck with these two fuckups. Great system: https://t.co/WNaSLQfZHd | Saturday, August 06, 2016 9:53:58 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| clearXchange is a fucking mess. Send money by email or phone number... Welp, what if we have the same for multiple banks? Shit breaks. | Saturday, August 06, 2016 5:58:08 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| These stupid fucks told me that the work order was invalid. They just realized this now | Tuesday, August 02, 2016 3:13:49 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Still waiting for these fucking cunts to call me back and explain why I'm on day 5 with no internet. Absolutely heinous company | Monday, August 01, 2016 4:53:07 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| After 7 motherfuckin hours they left with the problem unresolved. Jesus Christ Time Warner. Get lawst | Friday, July 29, 2016 6:24:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Absolute fucking dumpster fire. I hope Charter takes over and dissolves them all | Friday, July 29, 2016 6:15:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Nothing fucking changed. It just up and stopped working one day you stupid fucking cunts. https://t.co/CKlIpjTrA8 | Friday, July 29, 2016 3:02:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fucking abysmal. I have mothefucking things to do. | Friday, July 29, 2016 1:29:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fucking absurd @TWC_Help wasting 2.5 hours of my time because they can't get the fucking modem activated. Garbage service | Friday, July 29, 2016 1:27:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm gonna fuckin punch Time Warner in the face. | Friday, July 29, 2016 1:07:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| #thefuckingsubway https://t.co/Q9dYWuP5Ny | Tuesday, July 26, 2016 1:09:36 AM | Twitter for Android |
| #thefuckinsubway never works right and 100% of yellow cabs never have the A/C on. #sweatingballs gotta get out of this cess pool city | Monday, July 25, 2016 10:00:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Omg. I'm out drinkin and fuckin people are still getting shot up by the fuckin police? Christ. End it. | Wednesday, July 20, 2016 11:53:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I love when I'm a fuckin degenerate and still put my boss on the train | Wednesday, July 20, 2016 11:50:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Everyone needs to write their own fuckin speeches. Every politician's full shit. We're fucked https://t.co/CYKyNGUUrS | Wednesday, July 20, 2016 9:04:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I fuckin hate restroom attendants when I only have 20s and can't tip them. #awk | Wednesday, July 20, 2016 8:56:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| https://t.co/cBX4veU1qh #thefuckingsubway | Wednesday, July 13, 2016 3:16:10 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fuckin @ConEdison. Used more electric last July than this July, and this year's bill is much higher. Another reason why I'm leaving NYC | Wednesday, July 13, 2016 1:13:34 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I smell like booze and pizza. I'm fuckin gross | Tuesday, July 12, 2016 10:47:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Train has been parked at Queens Plaza for 5 minutes #thefuckingsubway | Monday, July 11, 2016 7:10:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| What in the actual fuck is going on in this country. It's straight up chaos. This is 2016, people! | Thursday, July 07, 2016 11:11:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Y'all motherfuckers are jealous of my broccoli rabe in garlic and oil. Yeahhhhh jeets https://t.co/DxIQhREeOJ | Tuesday, July 05, 2016 8:37:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Someone tell our motherfuckin director of QA that when shit breaks in a new build and worked before, IT'S NOT MY CONFIGURATION ISSUE #cunts | Tuesday, July 05, 2016 5:09:38 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| #thefuckingsubway being slow af as usual | Tuesday, July 05, 2016 9:13:24 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Today, this fat fuck ate 1.5 sausage and pepper sandwiches, a hot dog, 5 chicken tenders, fries, a burger, brownies and chips | Monday, July 04, 2016 8:32:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Government invented zika and never vaccinate your kids" for fuck's sake. When your kid dies of the mumps I'll laugh. | Thursday, June 30, 2016 10:29:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm down with some conspiracy theories but Jesus Christ these rednecks we met from some bumblefuck southern state are WAY OUT THERE. | Thursday, June 30, 2016 10:27:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Middle aged motherfuckers really know how to get rowdy at the piano bar | Tuesday, June 28, 2016 10:43:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Snapchat has a horse shit UI. Kids of tomorrow are gonna create apps like this? We're fucked. | Tuesday, June 21, 2016 10:00:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I FUCKING HATE how Google Hangouts pushes messages w/ sound and vibration to my phone when I have it open in the fuckin desktop client. | Monday, June 20, 2016 12:08:09 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| See, this is why I recommend never watching porn on Android. The volume controls are so fucked you can never figure out how to mute it quick | Monday, June 20, 2016 1:08:25 AM | Twitter for Android |
| AMFYOYO: Adios motherfucker, you're on your own | Thursday, June 16, 2016 12:10:26 AM | Twitter for Android |
| For fuck's sake why does my.piece of shit phone keep autocorrecting Citifield to "CutiField" #cunts | Wednesday, June 15, 2016 9:55:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I can't believe I didn't get sausage and peppers. The fucking Mets and CutiField are dead to me | Wednesday, June 15, 2016 9:54:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| So mad at CutiField right now. #sausageandpeppersyoufuckincunts | Wednesday, June 15, 2016 9:45:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| #thefuckingsubway | Wednesday, June 15, 2016 6:29:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo @Microsoft go fuck yourself with Error: 0x800f081f that's impossible to fix without a clean format. Rather than buying LinkedIn, fix it | Monday, June 13, 2016 9:48:21 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I've got no business wearing sunglasses anymore but fuck it | Friday, June 10, 2016 8:38:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cause' that's what a mothafuckin monsta do | Tuesday, May 31, 2016 12:07:24 AM | Twitter for Android |
| #thefuckingsubway | Thursday, May 26, 2016 9:30:24 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck you too bitch call the cops | Wednesday, May 25, 2016 9:53:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dumb motherfuckers. Why would you EVER run SQL profiler in production. For fuck's sake. | Wednesday, May 25, 2016 11:09:19 AM | Twitter for Android |
| NYC stresses me the fuck out. Wasn't even back 30 mins and the NYPD pissed me off. Protip: don't slam shit around inside a precinct. | Monday, May 23, 2016 12:57:16 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Jesus Christ Microsoft. Explain how Skype just crashes out of the blue, and then my entire headset and bluetooth gets all fucked up | Tuesday, May 10, 2016 2:56:24 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Happy Monday, cunts #thefuckingsubway | Monday, May 09, 2016 9:24:10 AM | Twitter for Android |
| These dumb fuckin hicks won't repeal their asinine law even if it means losing 4.8 billion? Inbred morons. https://t.co/mkDunT8MuZ | Sunday, May 08, 2016 2:43:00 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Oh for fuck's sake. Just found out that one of our apps has a different version of redis on the master than the slave. | Friday, May 06, 2016 11:49:20 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Would be nice if my fuckin key worked in the fuckin lock. #raisetherenttho. Get me the fuck out of this cess pool city | Wednesday, May 04, 2016 1:25:16 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Protip in life: If you don't like who the fuck I am, go fuck yourself | Wednesday, May 04, 2016 1:18:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Performers should be forcibly ejected if they stay in the same car for more than one stop #TheFuckingSubway | Monday, May 02, 2016 6:40:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @__JLu fuck all those suits | Saturday, April 30, 2016 6:08:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This fat fuck had a sausage and peppers (not hot dogs, @__JLu ) AND a cheese steak at Yankee Stadium today. #nom | Saturday, April 30, 2016 5:52:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This train's slower than Ted Cruz #TheFuckingSubway | Thursday, April 28, 2016 11:13:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| We've let two "express" trains pass us on the local track. I'm sure the guy running this train has his thumb in his ass #TheFuckingSubway | Thursday, April 28, 2016 11:07:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I don't understand how this train has been parked in a tunnel for 5 minutes. It's 11PM. What train traffic? #TheFuckingSubway | Thursday, April 28, 2016 11:03:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The NYC subway is so bad, my hashtag #thefuckingsubway crashes my Twitter app on Android. | Tuesday, April 26, 2016 9:09:05 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Greg Kelly basically just suggested everyone should fuck in the back seat of driverless cars while they're driving you. | Tuesday, April 26, 2016 8:41:49 AM | Twitter for Android |
| What kind of stupid fuckin system doesn't show you a summary of your appointment time on the thank you screen after you schedule something? | Tuesday, April 26, 2016 1:08:08 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Someone's gotta move this bumblefuck train a little faster. Guys going like 10mph the whole way #thefuckingsubway | Monday, April 25, 2016 9:07:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The firewalls are overloaded, a CPU failed in our SQL cluster, we're doing a half assed rollout Monday night and I'm on call #fuckmylife | Sunday, April 24, 2016 8:11:56 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Marketing dept over at @Azure: "Our portal is such a fuckin piece of shit, you might as well just do everything through Powershell" | Friday, April 22, 2016 12:20:07 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| 2001 on loop all day long and I'm all like "fuck you too bitch call the cops" | Wednesday, April 20, 2016 3:41:01 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Get this fuckin corpse away from my desk. Asks me if sql scripts were run in 2014. How the hell should I know. What are you a comedian? | Tuesday, April 19, 2016 3:22:29 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Some motherfucker smells like mildew and B.O. #thefuckingsubway | Monday, April 18, 2016 6:16:39 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Trains always show up back to back to back... In the other direction. Meanwhile, I've been here like an asshole forever. #thefuckingsubway | Friday, April 15, 2016 9:45:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Love how the entire subway bench is open and this kid decides to sit right on top of my asshole #thefuckingsubway | Friday, April 15, 2016 9:32:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dude. PHP 7 is fuckin fast (for a scripting language) | Tuesday, April 12, 2016 2:13:15 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Emilio's Big Guys coming in real hot this week in Wazabi, ya fuckin cunts #worldseriesbound | Monday, April 11, 2016 12:34:44 AM | Twitter for Android |
| You can keep Grand Central. Get me outta here. There are too many motherfuckers crowding up the place | Sunday, April 10, 2016 1:43:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Probably need to rebuild my VPS because fuckin apt-get is a piece of shit and fucked up all my mysql dependencies #forfuckssake | Monday, March 28, 2016 12:25:20 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Pay all this money for my fuckin key to break in the god damn lock. Get me the fuck out of here In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Friday, March 18, 2016 9:50:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I can feed all of fuckin Uganda with how much I pay in rent in this cess pool. Landlord hasn't changed the piece of shit lock since 1970 | Friday, March 18, 2016 9:49:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Robert De Niro fucks with his socks on which is both psychotic and awesome at the same time. | Saturday, March 12, 2016 3:38:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hot as balls on this R #thefuckingsubway | Thursday, March 10, 2016 9:04:41 AM | Twitter for Android |
| If you're having build problems I feel bad for you son... Fuck you for making me leave the bar | Wednesday, March 09, 2016 9:32:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Can you motherfuckers be loud somewhere else? | Tuesday, March 08, 2016 5:27:13 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| It smells like asshole in here. #thefuckingsubway | Sunday, March 06, 2016 1:39:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Freddy's a fuckin G. Last week, he's fingerblasting. This week, he's got milfs. | Friday, March 04, 2016 4:30:38 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| @Android Fix this fuckin bluetooth bug so I stop factory resetting my phone 6 times a week https://t.co/By330odfZs | Thursday, March 03, 2016 4:46:56 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fuckin Google sheets. I shouldn't be able to completely crash and hang your web app locally with a specially crafted use of functions... | Monday, February 29, 2016 11:29:31 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records; Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too! | Friday, February 26, 2016 12:43:20 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Since when does fuckin oil dictate how the entire stock market works? And one day it's up 10% the other day it's down 10%. Volatile cunts. | Tuesday, February 23, 2016 6:56:54 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Normally, I'd be concerned with him spending the weekend lifting data and adding backdoors, but he's too fuckin stupid to do that | Friday, February 19, 2016 10:33:48 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| #thefuckingsubway | Friday, February 12, 2016 9:39:26 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Ureña's fucking the support girl tonight | Thursday, February 04, 2016 7:07:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Turn the heat off up in this bitch #thefuckingsubway | Monday, February 01, 2016 9:22:32 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @__JLu true but fuck them and their fees. Had no clue 2 MSG shows would sell out in 10 mins.... | Saturday, January 30, 2016 1:44:40 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus Fucking Christ with the subways in Queens. Holy shit. | Wednesday, January 27, 2016 8:53:17 AM | Twitter for Android |
| CUNCEL. I can't get fuckin anywhere in this city https://t.co/ILqoPmUie4 | Tuesday, January 26, 2016 9:17:11 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Unacceptable horse shit infrastructure you fucking cunts. @NYCTSubway | Monday, January 25, 2016 7:54:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's fuckin raining in Manhattan. Pussies | Friday, January 22, 2016 10:11:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ticketmaster can go fuck themselves. Clearly Pearl Jam didn't win the war against them in '94. https://t.co/dKS3Og6FDW | Wednesday, January 20, 2016 5:07:08 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Why does this jaggoff think it's necessary to play his phone games on full volume? #thefuckingsubway | Monday, January 18, 2016 9:26:34 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I've got 1TB worth of 94 million API logs for 29 days and they can all go fuck themselves | Tuesday, January 12, 2016 10:37:27 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I gotta beat this fuckin guy in Quoridor. Straight up Yanks/Sox shit here. | Monday, January 11, 2016 10:48:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Is powershell fuckin serious that it only allows you to echo text in switch statements? DAFUQ is that all about | Friday, January 08, 2016 4:06:00 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| This Cali gas leak is a fuckin disaster. Methane gas has a much stronger greenhouse effect than CO₂. | Thursday, January 07, 2016 12:08:36 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Can someone turn down the fucking heat in this office? | Wednesday, January 06, 2016 3:39:24 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| The fucking MTA | Wednesday, January 06, 2016 8:42:36 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fucking MTA. The minute it's lower than 31.9°, all the fuckin rails break. | Tuesday, January 05, 2016 6:22:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fucking Azure. Making you add a verification cname to every goddamn subdomain you add. Y U NO verify you own the domain with a txt record. | Tuesday, January 05, 2016 5:54:11 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Linkedin sends too many fuckin emails, holy shit. | Tuesday, January 05, 2016 7:15:51 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The fuck happened last night? | Friday, January 01, 2016 11:34:17 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Spirit airlines charges you to fucking sneeze. They can eat a dick | Friday, January 01, 2016 5:06:40 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Judge Judy is a fuckin G | Monday, December 28, 2015 4:25:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck uTorrent and their spyware ways... Use qBittorrent. "uTorrent Has Banned ‘Sexy’ NSFW Ads This Year, And More" https://t.co/gkywT7ehPg | Sunday, December 27, 2015 3:53:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| NYC doesn't even have a fucking rock station anymore. Looking forward to this later in 2016: https://t.co/LHop8dHfUj | Sunday, December 27, 2015 2:27:50 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Peace the fuck out NYC. I don't have deal with your filth, bums and crowds until next week. | Wednesday, December 23, 2015 5:25:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Barney: "This one time I fucked a girl... I busted her bed frame." Me: "..." Barney: "And she paid for it..." | Monday, December 21, 2015 1:49:00 AM | Twitter for Android |
| So I took a PTO tomorrow because they can go fuck themselves. | Monday, December 21, 2015 12:37:22 AM | Twitter for Android |
| It's December 17th. I shouldn't be in a spring jacket sweating bullets on the fucking subway | Thursday, December 17, 2015 11:11:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck China and their polluting ass bitches causing global warming and shit. | Thursday, December 17, 2015 11:09:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's too motherfucking hot out. Cunts | Thursday, December 17, 2015 11:07:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just told my Director of Finance "I fucking hated my accounting classes" and Ali Mac backed me up | Thursday, December 17, 2015 6:23:03 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| It's too fucking hot outside | Thursday, December 17, 2015 10:48:13 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My eyes are itching from the fucking cat in this apartment and I still don't have my hot dog. | Sunday, December 13, 2015 8:22:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fucking global warming. Someone put the AC on, its hot as balls in here | Sunday, December 13, 2015 7:42:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| You ignorant, science non-believing hick assed motherfuckers... this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard https://t.co/emZXMGFFnm | Sunday, December 13, 2015 7:27:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Sausage and peppers, ya fuckin cunts https://t.co/g6qZHv2DRI | Sunday, December 13, 2015 3:45:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just called out a VP for booking a 2016 planning meeting over a thank you lunch scheduled already. Doesn't the fuckin guy check free times? | Thursday, December 10, 2015 10:33:13 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| @NYCTSubway stand on the fucking platform yourselves instead of some social media office and then tell me there's good service. In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Wednesday, December 09, 2015 6:18:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cuncel New York City. I hate it. Get me out of here. Fucking shithole. | Wednesday, December 09, 2015 6:10:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Seriously. Two days in a row with the R running like asshole: getting stuck for 20 mins; diverting to the M line. Fuckouttahea #MTA | Wednesday, December 09, 2015 6:09:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Will you fuckers stop ruining the Earth? I want my snow in December and this is why we can't have it. https://t.co/qVpfL7QXD9 | Wednesday, December 09, 2015 11:03:44 AM | Twitter for Android |
| There's a dude blasting Latin music on his phone in the shitter stall next to me. And not a single fuck was given that day! | Monday, December 07, 2015 10:24:33 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Besides the new San Fran Apple TV flyby, Apple TV screensaver is lame as fuck and repeats the save 7 pics over and over. #chromecastftw | Sunday, December 06, 2015 8:16:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just found out from @MalJNew Scott Wieland kicked it. My first reaction "Jesus fucking Christ I knew that'd happen at some point" | Friday, December 04, 2015 1:32:31 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Cheeseburger for breakfast because fuck you, I can. | Tuesday, December 01, 2015 9:23:42 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| This meandering motherfucker needs to pick a lane to walk in and get out of my way. | Monday, November 30, 2015 7:15:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuckin FiOS always goes down in the middle of the night | Saturday, November 28, 2015 2:05:13 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fuck Apple for their "lives photo" marketing scheme. It's a goddamn glorified video. | Friday, November 20, 2015 12:33:08 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck you too bitch | Thursday, November 19, 2015 11:37:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ohhh for fucks sake | Sunday, November 15, 2015 7:52:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This R train conductor is loud, his voice sucks and he needs to shut the fuck up. Guy keeps blabbering in my ear. Too early for your noise. | Friday, November 13, 2015 10:06:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Stupid fucking cocksuckers. Rail breaks on the N/q/R and the M has fuckin signal problems. Get your lives together @NYCTSubway | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 9:38:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I hate it. New York fucking is a rat shithole | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 9:34:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Piece of shit city with piece of shit infrastructure get me the fuck out of here | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 9:33:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I legit can't get the fuck home | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 9:25:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus fucking Christ. One line has a goddamn broken rail and the other one they told me to take instead has fuckin signal problems | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 9:25:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Broken rail your fucking cunts | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 9:17:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| You should fucking tell people there are no R trains at Cortlandt St shitheads. 2 uptown Ns in 30 minutes. #fuckdoipayyoufor @NYCTSubway | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 8:55:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Stupid fucks. Get more reliable. @NYCTSubway | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 8:50:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| They gave our pen testers domain admin access and the security idiots are wondering why they hacked everything. #fuckingidiots | Tuesday, November 10, 2015 5:38:38 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Jesus Fucking Christ, Kisha. How god damn dumb are you? You've been asking the same questions for 1.5 years and don't learn anything | Tuesday, November 10, 2015 12:00:10 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| .@googlephotos is slow as fuck playing backed up video. Get your lives together | Monday, November 09, 2015 6:49:38 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I had enough of these fuckin towels and their idiotic directions | Wednesday, November 04, 2015 9:24:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus fuckin Christ Mets. I'm not even a fan but stop making New York loo like a joke to these farmer midwest assholes | Saturday, October 31, 2015 11:41:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| How the fuck is your job going? Mine's swell | Thursday, October 29, 2015 11:58:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I told our director of security to "get the fuck out of my face, I don't have time for your noise" today. | Thursday, October 29, 2015 11:55:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| If you don't like it you can suck his fucking cock | Thursday, October 29, 2015 11:38:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This is another public service announcement Brought to you in part by Portfolioso. Portfolioso does not give a fuck what you think. | Thursday, October 29, 2015 11:38:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I've been mad for fucking years, absolutely years | Thursday, October 29, 2015 10:16:41 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Enraged at something that happened at work. "Speak softly and carry a big stick..." I will do that. Later, I'll shove it up their fuckin ass | Wednesday, October 28, 2015 2:35:01 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Annmarie needs to shit the fuck up and stop judging me | Tuesday, October 27, 2015 10:10:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| These fucking idiots are doing an entire .NET build to fix a line of javascript. | Monday, October 26, 2015 11:04:28 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Oh I see how it works... Fucking convoluted. If you tick the setting on web, it's different than mobile. Christ Twitter. | Saturday, October 24, 2015 9:52:15 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I changed my email, then changed it back. Now it's texting me fuckin verification codes instead of using the app #failwhale | Saturday, October 24, 2015 9:50:42 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| All my fuckin verification requests go to my old phone, and when I tried to fix it, they're saying my email is unconfirmed. THE FUCK | Saturday, October 24, 2015 9:36:26 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Twitter is a fuckin piece of shit with the way they handle switching devices and two step login verification. | Saturday, October 24, 2015 9:36:05 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Just walked in. Will all you motherfuckers stop talking to me? Christ, I'm not that important. | Friday, October 23, 2015 12:31:33 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| What kind of real sick (awesome) fuck decided on Youtube Music Red for a product name? Sounds familiar to some other website... | Wednesday, October 21, 2015 5:27:19 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| This fucking security guy needs to stop walking over to look at our network diagram. He should print out his own and go away. | Tuesday, October 20, 2015 10:47:31 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Anyone else notice that PCs (Windows 8/10) suck balls with Bluetooth devices? Like they rarely connect and always fuck up. Someone fix it. | Monday, October 12, 2015 9:59:36 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Lower the fuckin heat on the subways you MTA cunts | Monday, October 12, 2015 8:51:24 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus fucking Christ ISIS, I can assure you Allah doesn't want you going around raping people and having sex slaves http://t.co/WM3Bq6IuCv | Monday, October 12, 2015 1:03:27 AM | Twitter for Android |
| False alerts waking me up all night and the primary motherfucker keeps missing them. #cunts #fucksysops | Saturday, October 10, 2015 5:15:54 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Sick of fuckin losing so should we start winning like @realDonaldTrump? Hahahahhahahahha In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Wednesday, October 07, 2015 10:39:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dude. CC is a fuckin pussy checking in the day before the playoffs. My entire kickball team needs to hang with him in rehab. | Wednesday, October 07, 2015 10:33:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Loser company. Loser kickball team. Loser flip cup team. For fuck's sake can we be good at fuckin anything? | Wednesday, October 07, 2015 10:21:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Imagine. Initiate. Execute. Repeat. Until you're the fuckin CEO | Saturday, October 03, 2015 12:04:28 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuckin iOS 9.1 and their Unicode 8 and skin tone emojis not displaying on Android. | Friday, October 02, 2015 1:44:41 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| This is why you buy Motorola or LG Android Phones. Fuck Samsung http://t.co/xonYtlO0Xi #android #feedly | Friday, September 25, 2015 3:34:52 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Jesus Christ Cisco. I know you've been trying to fuck the married marketing girl for like 4 months already but be more discrete about it. | Thursday, September 24, 2015 6:06:47 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Black Keys - Rubber Factory is a great album to fuck to.#jussayin | Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:47:36 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| eh who the fuck am I kidding. Was always more of an ass man. Just ask Simmons.They called me Spanky in college. In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:32:59 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Out new security guy is intimidating the fuck out of me. We're all hammered and he's a hardcore dude not drinking, probably judging us. | Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:22:43 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| GOD MISERABLE DAMNIT. Just 1 hour after I went on call, just went to bed and I get a motherfucking alert. | Wednesday, September 23, 2015 1:44:19 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Tonight's fuckin trouble. I can sense it. #gettinhammeredtonight | Friday, September 18, 2015 8:21:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| OMG. I am THIS close to telling our VP of product who asked me a stupid fuckin question to read our help site. | Friday, September 18, 2015 10:57:24 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| A fuckin bird just shit on my hand | Tuesday, September 15, 2015 8:28:31 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Can I Seamless food to the gate at LaGuardia when I've landed? #fatfuck | Monday, September 14, 2015 3:36:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Also, fuck airplane mode. The frequency phones run on won't conflict with the airplane shit. So I am tweeting this as we take off. I'll live | Monday, September 14, 2015 3:34:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ate a 3/4 lb burger today like a fat fuck and now my rotten cow meat farts are putrid #tmi | Saturday, September 12, 2015 4:15:43 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Good. Hope this hedge fund guy destroys them. Fuck Herbalife. I unfollowed someone for being obsessed with that shit http://t.co/rTBwOOUS4e | Wednesday, September 09, 2015 11:28:25 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Motherfucker's gonna cook some meth http://t.co/Tyd66VWuUK | Sunday, September 06, 2015 10:32:07 AM | Twitter for Android |
| It's 10am and I'm somewhere in between "fuckin hammered" and raging hangover | Sunday, September 06, 2015 10:22:58 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Get the fuck out of here... I was in a park in Cincinnati for a wedding and motherfuckin Paul O'Neil was at another wedding | Sunday, September 06, 2015 12:46:20 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Sick customer your fuckin ass. Get the asshole off the train and move along. | Friday, September 04, 2015 4:11:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck the fuckin MTA. Legit my last day in this city before vacation & they're being miserable cunts just turning fuckin local trains express | Friday, September 04, 2015 4:07:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| OMG. Everything was configured just fine, but it's because they merged fuckin code in from 3 versions ago and the app broke. #shitsgottastop | Thursday, September 03, 2015 5:27:58 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| These cocksucking consultants in India just paged my oncall because a fucking dev environment was down. #die | Thursday, September 03, 2015 5:11:33 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| What the fuck @GooglePlay Music? Your playlists don't advance anymore? It's like Repeat-1 is stuck. Playing the same shit looping | Tuesday, September 01, 2015 5:41:23 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Clogged the fuckin toilet at the bar. It was a single bathroom. #sorrynotsorrygetbetterplumbingishitalot | Sunday, August 30, 2015 12:35:05 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm gonna make sure some bitch McAsshole knows that the guy he fired who told him to fuck off helped me solve this critical issue. #cunts | Saturday, August 29, 2015 3:01:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck what you jokers think I am | Saturday, August 29, 2015 2:55:55 AM | Twitter for Android |
| These fuckers and their shitty code introduced a stack overflow that kills our web server and now it's my problem? | Friday, August 28, 2015 9:47:07 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| This guy really needs to shut the fuck up | Wednesday, August 26, 2015 12:37:03 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| @BarstoolJJ cuncel. My gf is a fuckin Indians fan and I got my ass embarrassed. In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet | Tuesday, August 25, 2015 9:58:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| HOLY CHRIST, Harlem is a fucking shithole. I thought Bloombito and Giuliani had this all cleaned up. | Monday, August 24, 2015 5:55:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| China is the fucking ruination of everything. Polluting the earth, the economy. Jesus Christ, China | Monday, August 24, 2015 12:28:50 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fuck Samsung. I despise their Android phones. http://t.co/1R5I0mwMnK | Friday, August 21, 2015 4:26:26 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| David Justice is probably talking shit about how I can't get his boo that he doesn't even realize I've gotten now. #fuckalexeybear | Friday, August 21, 2015 12:36:11 AM | Twitter for Android |
| "Fuck Alexeybear I wanna be your boo!" -David Justice looking ember.js guy | Thursday, August 20, 2015 11:59:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck we lose to the last place Indians for @MalJNew | Thursday, August 20, 2015 10:52:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
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