Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit



360 results for asshole


‹12
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Tweet Date Source
Every time there's a gentle breeze the fuckin internet goes out. The fuck do you assholes do, tape the wires up? @TWC_NYNJ Tuesday, February 03, 2015 12:13:19 AMTwitter for Android
I'm sorry, but if you bring fish for lunch and heat it up in the office, you're an asshole. Eat it cold, or don't bring fuckin fish Monday, January 12, 2015 2:59:27 PMTwitter Web Client
I do not yield to assholes on the sidewalk looking at their phones and walking left. Will plow into them and throw 'bows Friday, January 09, 2015 1:59:43 PMTwitter for Android
Dear #MTA. Thanks for making me wait longer on the cold because your 70s trains can't handle a half inch of snow you assholes. Friday, January 09, 2015 8:11:35 AMTwitter for Android
NYC mayor's a fuckin asshole Tuesday, December 23, 2014 5:51:45 PMTwitter Web Client
If you live in fear, you're an asshole Saturday, December 20, 2014 1:54:22 AMTwitter for Android
Brobama coming in strong lately. Didn't give a shit about him but now we're chillin with Cuba and he called Sony an asshole. Ok by me. Saturday, December 20, 2014 1:37:09 AMTwitter for Android
PS - Fuck Sony and their pussy assed ways. And asshole suits who negotiate with terrorists Saturday, December 20, 2014 1:25:48 AMTwitter for Android
Metro North assholes: the few times I take the 8:05, its 10 mins late every single time. The fuck Monday, December 08, 2014 8:06:47 AMTwitter for Android
Yellow, green, blue, black, white. Doesn't matter to me.

You block traffic and slow me down, you're an asshole 		Thursday, December 04, 2014 11:03:03 PMTwitter for Android
Was going to cab it home from Gramercy until I saw the assholes marching up Park Ave. Took the subway instead. Thursday, December 04, 2014 11:01:04 PMTwitter for Android
If our security asshole talks about clickjacking just one more time for a server that shouldn't even be in scope... Click jackoff Wednesday, November 26, 2014 10:34:04 AMTwitter Web Client
.@MTA the 4/5 is a piece of shit subway line. Raise the fares and then continue your shitty service assholes http://t.co/k92uqCL2mF Wednesday, November 12, 2014 6:39:29 PMTwitter for Android
Those fuckin movable platform shits at 14th st broke. What kind of asshole designed a circular platform that requires extenders Thursday, October 23, 2014 9:09:41 AMTwitter for Android
Gotta admit... Chief Wahoo is a pretty cool dude and if you think it's racist you're a fuckin asshole Friday, September 05, 2014 8:48:39 PMTwitter for Android
Buffer zone, people. If there are other empty stalls don't come shit right next to me asshole Friday, August 15, 2014 3:01:39 PMTwitter for Android
Have a question to everyone doing the ice bucket challenge. Why do you put in the ice 2 seconds before dumping it? It's still warm assholes Saturday, August 09, 2014 9:27:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Okay, this is an amateur hour noob engineer operating this train. Go asshole. Signal is green Monday, July 28, 2014 1:22:08 PMTwitter for Android
If you ride a bike on the train station platform, you're an asshole. I'd normally say you deserve to fall on the tracks, but that'd delay me Monday, July 28, 2014 1:18:18 PMTwitter for Android
Google sucks. Why is it god damn impossible to find the video manager on youtube? Where is the shit I uploaded assholes? Saturday, July 19, 2014 2:34:10 AMTwitter Web Client
Not to be a cocky asshole or anything but when a fly ass ex coworker texts you this, ya gotta feel some kinda awesome http://t.co/JO57kOWvjw Friday, June 27, 2014 12:15:46 AMTwitter for Android
I was an asshole not to see this: http://t.co/jn1681Gbc6 Could have gone too Monday, June 23, 2014 11:57:18 AMTwitter Web Client
If you pronounce it Jinx, you're an asshole @H9RBSjs Debate of the day: "Engine X" vs. "Jinx": What is the correct pronunciation of "nginx"?
In reply to @H9RBSjs's tweet
Monday, June 16, 2014 12:13:22 PMTwitter Web Client
Fucking Time Warner. I logged in on your ISP assholes, you can't even detect me? http://t.co/wwb38JCGwu Saturday, May 24, 2014 2:41:29 PMTwitter Web Client
Not to be a cocky asshole or anything, but when I actually ran shit in this joint instead of the idiot suits, the shit hit the fan less. Monday, May 12, 2014 4:51:42 PMTwitter Web Client
Beatsie boys are on. Reminds me of the co founder COO we fired like assholes because he was the shit and now they should crash and burn Sunday, May 11, 2014 1:18:18 AMTwitter for Android
Reviewing our "standard operating procedures" written by this suit asshole who doesn't understand tech. A bunch of rubbish bullshit. F- Wednesday, May 07, 2014 10:23:09 AMTwitter Web Client
Oh and if the FBI sees my last tweet, before you arrest me, I just meant I'm farting a lot assholes Saturday, May 03, 2014 10:17:12 PMTwitter for Android
@kerbear88 because Fairfield gets cheap no name assholes for concerts.
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Wednesday, April 30, 2014 11:08:30 PMTwitter for Android
If you ask me a question the second I walk in before I'm settled, or Skype me within the first 5 minutes I'm here, you're a fuckin asshole Monday, April 28, 2014 9:14:25 AMTwitter Web Client
If you spell Michelle with one L, you're an asshole Friday, April 25, 2014 1:34:13 PMTwitter Web Client
Apparently, that error means that my password was too long. Fucking assholes
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, April 11, 2014 4:34:37 PMTwitter Web Client
Completely empty bathroom. Don't shit in the stall directly next to me. Asshole. Wednesday, April 02, 2014 9:34:58 AMTwitter for Android
Whoever fuckin burnt popcorn in here is an asshole Thursday, March 20, 2014 9:57:37 AMTwitter Web Client
Basically, the CEO sounded like a Masshole talking about cock Wednesday, February 12, 2014 6:42:30 PMTwitter for Windows
"This is your lobby command station. A fire alarm was activated due to a smoke condition. It is a false alarm" #assholes Thursday, January 16, 2014 12:14:48 PMTwitter Web Client
LETS MIGRATE AN ENTIRE FUCKING DRUPAL INSTANCE FROM A DEBIAN BASED OS TO CENTOS IN <1 DAY YOU FUCKIN ASSHOLE Tuesday, January 14, 2014 7:07:08 PMTwitter Web Client
Overheard at the bar: "I would stab a guy in the face to eat that girl's asshole" Friday, January 10, 2014 12:15:23 AMTwitter for Android
This Michelle champagne tastes like assholes Wednesday, January 01, 2014 6:27:36 PMTwitter for Android
McGivern is ripping me a new asshole because I was unprepared to roll back and our SLA got fucked. #whoops Tuesday, December 17, 2013 4:22:06 PMTwitter for Android
It's official. I'm gonna drop dead of a heart attack at 35 because I'm a hyper, negative, lazy out of shape Type A personailty asshole. Monday, December 16, 2013 10:20:18 AMTwitter Web Client
No kidding. Guy's a fuckin asshole. (But so were the other choices): http://t.co/NnVe92ABS2 Tuesday, December 10, 2013 2:15:46 PMTwitter Web Client
What kind of fuckin asshole picks the stall next to you in the shitter when the end one's open? (Jeans, dirty white Nikes w/ a red swoosh) Wednesday, November 27, 2013 2:39:37 PMTwitter for Android
Its Monday, which is the worst day of the week because I get to see that fuckin asshole McGivern at that shithole today. Monday, November 25, 2013 7:47:03 AMTwitter for Android
Fucking MTA can't even tell me what track my cocksucking train is on, so I have to stand in front of the board like an asshole Monday, November 18, 2013 6:55:05 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: Jennifer Lawrence Looks Like an Asshole with Short Hair http://bit.ly/1coSMKk Wednesday, November 13, 2013 2:55:53 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
You're a fucking asshole if your offing yourself results in delays for thousands: http://t.co/zSDEzIOFVg Death isn't good enough punishment Wednesday, November 13, 2013 12:32:34 PMTwitter Web Client
If you checked into snowpocalypse on Foursquare for a couple of flurries, you're a fucking asshole. Tuesday, November 12, 2013 9:23:26 AMTwitter Web Client
@KeriAHarrison I take it one step further. I elbow check, walk into, push and/or yell at assholes who can't walk RIGHT on the street.
In reply to @KeriAHarrison's tweet
Thursday, August 29, 2013 12:29:02 PMTwitter Web Client
Why don't you tweet "don't tell me when to take lunch you're an asshole" Eric Saturday, August 17, 2013 5:01:26 PMTwitter for Android
These farting motherfuckers left without saying bye? What a bunch of assholes. Saturday, August 17, 2013 4:20:50 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck yourself. For being an asshole, you get no productivity for me today. I won't do a fucking thing Wednesday, August 07, 2013 10:45:58 AMTwitter Web Client
Can I get some coffee with that iced milk. You fuckin assholes. @DunkinDonuts http://t.co/paSVzwSWwc Tuesday, May 28, 2013 8:48:31 AMTwitter for Android
Waitress ass bitch. can't you see I'm batshit crazy right now? Let me get a beer asshole. Wednesday, May 08, 2013 2:37:31 PMTwitter for Android
Googled the names of some of the new hires and found arrests. The fuck kind of assholes don't check for this shit... Friday, April 12, 2013 3:48:26 AMTwitter Web Client
Just yelled at a fuckin cop for standing there like an asshole in my way while I was trying to get my train Monday, March 11, 2013 6:40:01 PMTwitter for Android
Just passed by & saw CNBC on TV in my office and they were ripping the Foursquare CEO a new asshole because he has no idea how to monetize. Monday, March 11, 2013 11:34:03 AMTwitter Web Client
Whoever picked this place is a fuckin asshole Wednesday, February 13, 2013 6:59:42 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin Marketing department (everyone except Molly) being a bunch of assholes not listening to anything I say when I obvi know best. Suffer Wednesday, February 13, 2013 3:22:28 PMTwitter Web Client
My type of reading. RT @jiaaro Javascript for Assholes http://t.co/1oFnPPt …is pretty awesome Friday, November 30, 2012 11:51:19 AMTwitter Web Client
Our new corporate logo is goatse central. Looks like a gaping asshole Saturday, November 10, 2012 4:37:59 PMTwitter for Android
Welp. Elise almost but my right nipple off, asshole. So she should get me a free fuckin hot dog Saturday, August 25, 2012 8:49:12 PMTwitter for Android
@tomwcleary @keith_connors @smstemp clearly you fuckin asshole. Bring me boxers that actually cover my ass Sunday, August 19, 2012 1:45:48 AMTwitter for Android
I hope the cops shot the asshole dead who is responsible for this Wednesday, August 15, 2012 9:58:46 PMTwitter for Android
@dannyrob88 Google the translation asshole. Dope Sublime lyrics. I was responding to your 16 year tweet
In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet
Monday, July 30, 2012 5:42:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Yeah. Keep smoking asshole. I will get over it you'll be drunk and suck it so hard Saturday, July 28, 2012 4:01:55 PMTwitter for Android
Then they wonder why I won't vote for these two assholes in November http://t.co/V7242HL Thursday, July 19, 2012 2:33:40 AMTwitter Web Client
@mirrorfairfield Pay the fucking bill assholes "You currently owe $8.10. Please make a payment before 17 Jul 2012" Monday, July 16, 2012 10:34:38 AMTwitter Web Client
IFassholes waste your entire morning, just kick back, stare at the hot new office manager and eat Grandma's chicken cutlet sangwich. WINNING Monday, May 14, 2012 12:34:11 PMTwitter Web Client
Let him take his shot? I wasn't anywhere near you, asshole. Fuck is this, professional pool? Your a a bar you dick. Wednesday, May 02, 2012 8:56:50 PMTwitter for Android
@L8to89 kind of. Asshole.
In reply to @L8to89's tweet
Monday, April 23, 2012 8:45:40 PMTwitter for Android
I'm convinced to make this Joomla shit work for this asshole. Whoever decided to go with cloud sites over a cloud server was a jokeface Monday, April 16, 2012 7:43:39 PMTwitter Web Client
Thank you reddit for unintentionally teaching me what pitted keratolysis is. Assholes. BRB while I vomit. Thursday, March 22, 2012 2:02:46 AMTwitter Web Client
Thank you MLK Jr. for delaying payday. Asshole. Monday, January 16, 2012 10:11:21 AMTwitter Web Client
Fucking Facebook isn't working right. I can't get pictures of me tagged to show up right. Assholes Wednesday, January 04, 2012 2:53:40 AMTwitter Web Client
@BriBTC I've been saying Dolan was an asshole since 2002. It's old news.
In reply to @BriBTC's tweet
Friday, December 16, 2011 3:48:24 PMTwitter Web Client
Just saw on the news that lonliness is linked to depression. Ya think, you fuckin assholes? No shit. Who does these idiotic studies? Tuesday, November 01, 2011 11:29:05 PMTwitter for Android
Theres an asshole Con Ed guy walking around in circles looking at the poles and cant find the problem =/ Sunday, October 30, 2011 7:21:08 PMtxt
Dear Verizon. Stop capping fuckin YouTube traffic assholes. I have 25MBPS symmetrical internet and my YouTube videos load like f'in dialup Wednesday, October 12, 2011 9:26:01 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Three Useless Assholes http://t.co/emaIi3B Friday, October 07, 2011 1:06:42 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
Jeweler goes to change my watch battery (I'd do it myself but it was impossible to open) and scratched the fucking shit out of it. Asshole Saturday, September 03, 2011 4:20:49 PMTwitter for Android
Yeah. Just park your rig in the middle of an intersection on 22. Jackasshole Friday, August 12, 2011 10:35:40 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: Asshole President Spams Twitter Encouraging People to Tweet to Lawmakers Over Debt Ceiling? http://bit.ly/pt1Oz6 Friday, July 29, 2011 7:10:27 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
This elevator smells like greasy asshole. Friday, July 15, 2011 3:26:09 PMTwitter for Android
Someone shut this mother fuckin baby up. Screaming in cold blood this asshole is Thursday, July 14, 2011 10:22:51 PMTwitter for Android
NYC Subways are running like fucking asshole right now. Thursday, July 07, 2011 5:25:29 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: If You're Going to Hack Fox News' Twitter, At Least Do it Right, Assholes http://bit.ly/mLs9t7 Monday, July 04, 2011 1:35:09 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
Walked a few blocks in NYC. Would be nice if this asshole couple would stop fucking each other every corner while waiting for the light. Friday, June 10, 2011 2:54:02 PMTwitter Web Client
Way to leave the bases loaded assholes. Lose the fucking game now. You 65 years olds all deserve it Wednesday, May 18, 2011 11:07:20 PMTwitter Web Client
This random, no name minor league stiff Buddy Carlyle can go fuck himself, because he's pathetic. Way to blow the game asshole. Wednesday, May 11, 2011 11:02:05 PMTwitter for Android
Nothing like a Monday morning meeting with two fucking suit asshole CEOs pissed off at our system because fucking sales oversold them... Monday, April 18, 2011 10:37:12 AMTwitter Web Client
Gmail legitimately runs like asshole when the account is more than half full. Tuesday, April 12, 2011 1:28:15 PMTwitter Web Client
@nyJULZmd Stupid asshole. It snowed by you? Should have sent it up north.
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
Thursday, December 16, 2010 5:27:23 PMTwitter Web Client
I have to piss so fucking badly and some asshole took a shit with the only bathroom key, fml. Tuesday, December 07, 2010 2:24:40 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: Dear Assholes Over at Verizon Wireless: http://bit.ly/hZOahS Monday, December 06, 2010 10:32:13 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
And remember folks, today is election day. Go out there and vote for your local asshole #fuckthegovernment #allpoliticiansareuseless Tuesday, November 02, 2010 4:38:40 PMTwitter for Android
How fucking dumb is a projector with height adjusters not on even sides. How do I get the picture straight assholes? Tuesday, August 17, 2010 4:24:29 PMtwidroid
Everyone on the Yankees FUCKING SUCKS ASSHOLE tonight, errors, sloppy play, 0 hitting. Christ, Playing like the fucking Mets Monday, August 16, 2010 9:13:00 PMTwitter Web Client
Bases loaded 0 outs and you all struck out? Fucking lose the game now assholes. Christ Monday, August 09, 2010 4:41:44 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: The Pope is an Asshole http://blog.portfolioso.com/2010/07/02/the-pope-is-an-asshole/ Friday, July 02, 2010 7:32:49 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
@waspito figure of speech asshole. You see a pic of it? Rhig is a monstrosity. Tuesday, June 15, 2010 11:14:00 PMtwidroid
@RockNationRadio asshole. I wanted to go but I'm down in Maryland. Cnt go in oct but the machine is at the Hilton in AC this summer. You in?
In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet
Saturday, May 15, 2010 7:18:49 PMtwidroid
http://twitpic.com/drepg - Yes, this was a TEACHER's display board in a 5th grade classroom. Asshole Thursday, August 13, 2009 8:49:49 PMTwitpic
This asshole is off the wall today Sunday, August 09, 2009 2:36:43 AMtxt
For the third time: Put a god damn mother fucking wet paint sign up when you assholes paint shit. and don't complain when i step in it. Wednesday, August 05, 2009 10:53:47 AMtxt
AIM 7 is an absolute GUI failure. In non tech terms, it looks like asshole. Just as AOL gets AIM 6.9 right, they ruin it. Keep away from it. Friday, May 22, 2009 6:27:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Why the fuck are my google pages being sent to me in French. I have a US IP address, assholes. It's getting annoying Wednesday, May 20, 2009 12:04:24 AMTwitter Web Client
Lou Pinella, you fucked up my bracket asshole. Thanks to your stupid ass team, it's all wrong now. Now people are going to think I'm a joker Sunday, October 05, 2008 9:00:37 AMtwhirl
My music professor is an asshole, gives too much work, and got a shitty Weezer song stuck in my head. Friday, September 26, 2008 12:42:52 PMTwitter Web Client
We don't have mother fucking running water. Stupid fuck that cut the water main is an asshole. Tuesday, September 23, 2008 5:40:19 PMTwitter Web Client

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