Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit



1683 results for ass


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Tweet Date Source
This is nothing new. Shit like this isn't news. It happenes all the time on the subways. People are savages. I'd rather wait and be late than to jam myself into a train ass to dick, and that was pre-covid

https://t.co/hITvAt154z 		Tuesday, September 21, 2021 10:59:23 AMTwitter for Android
No one in their right mind wants to be associated with this piece of shit building https://t.co/iAsUy1HZRL Saturday, September 18, 2021 10:17:59 PMTwitter for Android
Incoming rant. How in the actual fuck do you pause delivering babies? "Sorry, gotta stay inside, motherfucker. Ain't no one wants to deliver you because hick ass pieces of shit would rather just quit than to get a vaccine to end this cocksucking pandemic" https://t.co/BZfiQxW0p9 Monday, September 13, 2021 12:39:58 AMTwitter for Android
Mike Lindell is the dumbest person alive. All he had to do is continue selling his shitty pillows and shut the fuck up with all the Trump propaganda and he'd be like every other rich asshole CEO. But instead, he's being sued for billions of dollars https://t.co/xtNZNSs8VD Friday, September 03, 2021 10:16:38 AMTwitter for Android
Ron Desantis is anti-mask because he wants people to catch covid. He is in bed with the companies creating these expensive monoclonal antibodies and only wants to line his pockets. He's a piece of shit asshole who should be in prison for treason and fraud Sunday, August 29, 2021 3:01:12 PMTwitter for Android
@GovRonDeSantis HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. How does it feel that you got sued to reverse your order blocking masks? Good. Asshole. HAHAHAAHA
In reply to @GovRonDeSantis's tweet
Friday, August 27, 2021 11:57:04 PMTwitter for Android
If Chapman fucks this up, he's an asshole Friday, August 27, 2021 1:16:28 AMTwitter for Android
@GovRonDeSantis How's it going, asshole? https://t.co/PapIhkE4lT Thursday, August 26, 2021 1:33:06 PMTwitter Web App
These antivaxxing variant factory, reality-denying morons have blood on their hands and fucked up all our good progress against Covid. Thanks assholes https://t.co/c0mG0E9Gdx Thursday, August 26, 2021 1:26:13 PMTwitter Web App
@GovRonDeSantis Must be a shitty business if your ignorant ass is advertising it
In reply to @GovRonDeSantis's tweet
Monday, August 23, 2021 10:06:20 AMTwitter for Android
Fuckin asshole. The world is burning hot and society will collapse in the 2049s and this asshole is raising the prices on his solar shit and paying himself billions to live in a 50k container house

https://t.co/Rpo9dT4Ry7 		Tuesday, August 10, 2021 10:46:40 PMTwitter for Android
And Rob Manfred is a fuckin asshole with this runner on second in extras rule. How is it supposed to shorten the game. It's lengthening it Tuesday, August 10, 2021 12:23:55 AMTwitter Web App
I was an asshole to Sundar Pichai and Rick Osterloh on Twitter, and is it no coincidence my Nest doorbell broke the next day? Thursday, August 05, 2021 5:03:25 PMTwitter for Android
"Oh but it's child abuse." "They can't tell me what to do" It's a fucking piece of cloth you idiots. Kids are resilient Granted, there could be exceptions

Yeah it's a pain in the ass but don't you want this pandemic shit to end?
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, August 04, 2021 12:02:10 AMTwitter Web App
Can @sundarpichai @rosterloh @madebygoogle assure me that the Pixel 6 will not have a piece of shit battery like the Pixel 4 does? Thx.

Look at this horse shit. Fucking thing hardly lasts a half day with four hours of screen usage and it was replaced a year ago https://t.co/beU6if6moe 		Tuesday, August 03, 2021 8:51:42 PMTwitter for Android
I mean, if you're running Android 2.x in the year of our lord 2021, you're an asshole.

https://t.co/tw6WaG1tqi 		Monday, August 02, 2021 11:30:22 PMTwitter for Android
We're in the middle of a mass extinction and society as we know it will collapse in the 2040s: https://t.co/A0JEzdbHSh Wednesday, July 21, 2021 11:30:56 AMTwitter Web App
I'm sorry, but the engineer who did this is a gd asshole...

1) Pushing as "Administrator" directly from our build agent. I know who you are.
2) Stop polluting my repo with test commits https://t.co/bjX8UwUuy5 		Tuesday, July 06, 2021 12:52:06 AMTwitter Web App
This guy pitches like a piece of shit asshole without his spider tack. Can we get out money back.

https://t.co/GhIHOMgfkv 		Monday, July 05, 2021 9:14:19 AMTwitter for Android
A. blatica, a parasitic fungus, literally eats ass https://t.co/rVa25Ftzny Tuesday, June 29, 2021 8:24:40 AMTwitter for Android
My dog is farting so much, I'm gassed out in here... Literally the whole upstairs smells like farts. Tuesday, June 29, 2021 2:12:44 AMTwitter Web App
BAHAHAH RUDY G disbarred in NYS for being a dumb asshole! I want a full press conference at Four Seasons Total Landscaping! Thursday, June 24, 2021 5:35:27 PMTwitter Web App
No one wants to see this shitty assed, .500, AA team in person. Now that Cole can't use spider tack, you watch - it's gonna be a slugfest throughout MLB. Baseball has been ruined. We should just go back to the 80s when everyone was ripping amphetamines. Was fun; now is lame. https://t.co/ZkfYGKlgO6 Tuesday, June 15, 2021 4:45:37 PMTwitter Web App
These fuckers are going to cause the next mass extinction. First they leak Covid from a lab, now they're pulling Soviet-era nuclear meltdown denials.

https://t.co/2cExxlMCqR 		Monday, June 14, 2021 8:59:11 AMTwitter for Android
The Yankees STINK. Get Boone the fuck out. He stinks. Baserunning stinks. Pitching stinks. Hitting stinks. Cashman stinks. Steinbrenner rolling in grave rn

I can't root for this horse shit team. It's no fun to even watch these little league assholes 		Sunday, June 13, 2021 4:15:55 PMTwitter Web App
Good. Who was the moron that thought half assing and dumbing down URL bar was a good idea? @ChromiumDev

"Google ends its attack on the URL bar, resumes showing full address in Chrome" https://t.co/ePOxRj55uT 		Friday, June 11, 2021 4:25:44 PMTwitter for Android
This fuckin asshole Trump is coming out of the woodwork again I see. Sunday, June 06, 2021 9:32:58 AMTwitter for Android
You CANNOT be serious. WTF is my password doing in a query string in plaintext? So it can be stored in plaintext on webserver access logs? Who designed this https://t.co/Hiqg23roea
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, June 03, 2021 4:54:38 PMTwitter Web App
When you need to half ass some infra at work, at least half ass it in a way where it's functional and has sound logic... This guy that left - wtf did he actually do here? There's no way this horseshit can possibly work in prod. Config typos, manual file overrides. YIKES Wednesday, June 02, 2021 10:04:49 PMTwitter Web App
This is pretty savage. Finally Google with some balls. They're like: "Eat my asshole, Roku" https://t.co/gwPnEBQcRz Saturday, May 08, 2021 11:42:40 PMTwitter for Android
No one wants to work shit jobs where you get abused by asshole customers for shit pay when you can just stay home and collect free money. Maybe pay better?

https://t.co/Rfq8duUPgB 		Saturday, May 08, 2021 11:28:11 AMTwitter for Android
The engineer that quit a few months ago... His code is SO SHITTY, I want to gauge my eyes out. This is what I get for letting him "run with it"

And now I have to clean up this mess. Asshole. 		Tuesday, April 27, 2021 11:23:20 AMTwitter Web App
@MayorGinther The @ColumbusPolice didn't kill any of the white OSU kids rioting and flipping cars though

Your department is horse shit garbage. Keep flying your helicopters in CPD patterns assholes.
In reply to @MayorGinther's tweet
Wednesday, April 21, 2021 9:28:04 AMTwitter Web App
2021. Expect all of the following things. Rinse and repeat:

- Cop murders black person
- Yankees lose a game
- Mass shooting
- Rampant Covid 		Sunday, April 18, 2021 9:38:05 PMTwitter for Android
@TruistNews you guys want to fix the shitty ass SunTrust portal and the fact that the Document Center has been down for days and I urgently need to grab a statement? Thanks Thursday, April 15, 2021 6:02:42 PMTwitter Web App
Is there a way to get a @SharePoint calendar into the native @Windows 10 native calendar app or Web based Outlook?

It's archaic AF and I only see instructions for desktop Outlook. No one under 40 should be using that clunky ass software 		Monday, April 05, 2021 10:37:40 AMTwitter Web App
Button your jersey, you disheveled fuck with a 9.00 ERA. Causes all kinds of drama in the offseason and then starts off like an asshole. Steinbrenner's gotta be spinning in his grave. Cuncel Germán https://t.co/iQH2GAiBhF Sunday, April 04, 2021 11:57:46 PMTwitter for Android
@JoshMandelOhio @Abuyousef @IlhanMN @RashidaTlaib @CAIRNational @JoshMandelOhio Remember when you posted this poll, you pile of shit?

"Muslim Terrorists?" Isn't that being Islamophobic?

Don't you understand Islam is a peaceful religion? There are radical assholes everywhere, and they do not represent the majority https://t.co/G7JKGGlV2D
In reply to @JoshMandelOhio's tweet
Monday, March 29, 2021 1:50:25 PMTwitter Web App
JFC, Georgia is a shitty state with ignorant, hick white racist lawmakers passing new Jim Crow laws in the year of our Lord 2021. Limiting voting rights for minorities and charging a black woman with a felony for knocking on a door. Should've let the south secede. Monday, March 29, 2021 9:11:14 AMTwitter for Android
How many times do I have to tell Product/UX motherfuckers that you're goddamn assholes if you prevent pasting into password fields. Because I randomly generate insane passwords. Now you're making me create them insecurely because I have to type it manually and it's not as complex Friday, March 26, 2021 12:12:21 AMTwitter Web App
@PassAndSeymour how are you guys selling a three switch plate with only 5 screws for 6 holes? I got two like that https://t.co/FLbkKGgGsL Tuesday, March 23, 2021 12:51:16 AMTwitter for Android
Whoever decided that my house needed to have two tanks was a fuckin asshole. Yeah, there's a whirlpool tub, but the fuck do you need a gas and an electric tank for. What a waste of energy. We're three people! Wednesday, March 17, 2021 3:49:04 PMTwitter Web App
@mijo_77901 @MARYHam77598720 @AP When did you choose to be straight, asshole?
In reply to @mijo_77901's tweet
Monday, March 15, 2021 6:53:36 PMTwitter Web App
Dude we broke our ass for like 8 months on a huge migration that led to family problems, a good engineer quitting, a week of instability, and general misery...
and they give us fuckin DoorDash gift cards. No comp week off, no bonus. Fuckin DoorDash. Get the actual fuck outta here 		Monday, March 08, 2021 11:10:26 PMTwitter Web App
@Microsoft whoever was historically responsible for MSMQ is a fuckin asshole Sunday, February 21, 2021 9:50:53 AMTwitter for Android
Raze this piece of shit building immediately. Looks like asshole in the NYC skyline and we have whiny ass rich people saying it sucks https://t.co/aAaBl6b59Y Friday, February 12, 2021 10:26:51 AMTwitter Web App
@FitbitSupport Hi, I have a Versa 3 and the Google Assistant stops working the second I close the app after setting it up.

I disabled battery optimization for Fitbit, but it never works. Can't find any relevant articles on the support site

Thanks 		Friday, February 12, 2021 9:05:45 AMTwitter for Android
How the fuck do you arrest the BOSS, Bruce on a DWI when he only blew a .02? That's like a glass of wine or two. Legal limit's .08. Maybe .04-6 is pushing it.

Arresting officer should get the death penalty. Guy's got a clean record and never caused any trouble. F is this shit 		Thursday, February 11, 2021 10:54:59 AMTwitter Web App
My mind is blown. Here I am spending more money like an asshole on uncured lunch meats, trying to avoid sodium nitrate and nitrite. I know damn well, that they use celery salt, which has nitrates, but was like whatever dude, it's just celery... NOPE. Shit's equally as bad. Thursday, February 11, 2021 1:33:17 AMTwitter Web App
I'm sorry, but these are two fuckin assholes for naming their son whatever the fuck that name is. https://t.co/RjySSrT5xD Monday, February 08, 2021 2:55:30 PMTwitter for Android
@mtgreenee Hey man, Mitch is a shit person, but he's right about this one, asshole. You are a cancer, Marjorie. At least Mitch, who still sucks, has respect for the Constitution
In reply to @mtgreenee's tweet
Tuesday, February 02, 2021 12:47:45 AMTwitter for Android
@RaheemKassam Dude what in the actual fuck are you babbling about
In reply to @RaheemKassam's tweet
Sunday, January 31, 2021 10:59:24 PMTwitter for Android
Dudes, I know cross site tracking cookies and targeted ads are shady and shit like that, but if I have to click another fuckin popup to accept cookies on every new site I visit, I'm gonna lose my shit.

Whoever came up with this law iss an asshole causing shit ux across the web 		Saturday, January 30, 2021 8:23:29 AMTwitter for Android
I wish I were in the position to tell my company to go fuck themselves for abuse. I FUCKING hate what I do every day. Nothing would give me more joy to pull a Billy Walsh (Entourage) on every single suit and asshole who is making me miserable

I wish them all the fucking worst 		Wednesday, January 27, 2021 9:14:04 PMTwitter Web App
@seanhannity @tedcruz IF I WANT TO INSTALL SOLAR IT COSTS 20-50 THOUSAND DOLLARS YOU SHITHEAD. I CANNOT SPEND THIS RIGHT NOW. I SHOULD BE ABLE TO INSTALL SOLAR FOR $3000

MAKE ALL THESE COAL AND OIL WORKS MASS PRODUCE PANELS SO THEY ARE WITHIN REACH FOR THE AVERAGE AMERICAN

YOU FUCKING HACK
In reply to @seanhannity's tweet
Wednesday, January 27, 2021 9:01:47 PMTwitter Web App
@HawleyMO We will have unity when your insurrectionist ass is the fuck out of Congress, you piece of shit
In reply to @HawleyMO's tweet
Tuesday, January 26, 2021 9:49:39 PMTwitter for Android
@LindseyGrahamSC @senrobportman He retired because he can't deal with fuckers like yourself who spread propaganda and lies that led to an insurrection. Portman refused to S trump's D so he had to leave the party.

The GOP is a fucked dumpster fire. Good, you asshole.
In reply to @LindseyGrahamSC's tweet
Tuesday, January 26, 2021 12:41:52 AMTwitter Web App
Who are the IDIOTS over on Costco's cybersecurity team that think it's a good idea to prevent pasting into the password field on the signup page. So now I can't generate a 24 character random password and store it, assholes. Guess I'll use 'password123' instead! Tuesday, January 26, 2021 12:09:56 AMTwitter Web App
Engineer that left us because he had enough of our horseshit project, did so much shit half assed and now I have to clean it all up and that motherfucker is sightseeing the world at the moment and can fuck right off Thursday, January 21, 2021 10:48:01 AMTwitter Web App
Wifey and I looked out our window last night and noticed an object in the backyard. Threw the floods on and it was an empty Michelob box. We classy. My immediate reaction was "smh Jesus Christ"

(Wind took it - we were using the wintry back deck as a free fridge) 		Saturday, January 16, 2021 5:18:33 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck restrictions on cruel and unusual punishment. I'm in favor of it. Whoever did this should get ASSHOLE carved into their entire back with a machete https://t.co/0uj37cpnEQ Thursday, January 14, 2021 11:25:15 AMTwitter Web App
@HawleyMO @simonschuster Fuck your book, asshole. Put it up your ass, you insurrection causing pile of 💩

You are a terrorist and should get waterboarded
In reply to @HawleyMO's tweet
Friday, January 08, 2021 2:00:08 PMTwitter Web App
@RudyGiuliani You're a national disaster and Borat made you look like a fuckin asshole, you dirty old man
In reply to @RudyGiuliani's tweet
Thursday, January 07, 2021 12:20:52 PMTwitter Web App
Why are these people objecting and looking like jagoff assholes, when they don't meet the requirements for an objection. F'in idiots! Thursday, January 07, 2021 12:07:53 AMTwitter Web App
Don't fucking do this: https://t.co/yvqMU7ULAj Just give the doses as designed and it's too bad - people will have to wait. It's better than giving 2x the people half assed protection.

I work in tech. When people use shit beyond how it was designed, it never ends well 		Monday, January 04, 2021 10:50:18 AMTwitter Web App
Welp, it's Monday. Every asshole is back to work, our release team fucked shit up, and Slack is down so I have no idea wtf is going on. Monday, January 04, 2021 10:27:01 AMTwitter Web App
A list of delusional dumbfuck pieces of shit, unfit to represent a pile of shit
@tedcruz
@RonJohnsonWI
@jameslankford
@SteveDaines
@MarshaBlackburn
@SenatorBraun
@SenJohnKennedy
@CynthiaLummis
@RogerMarshallMD
@BillHagertyTN
@TTuberville

Suck Trump's dick, assholes. 		Saturday, January 02, 2021 4:44:08 PMTwitter for Android
El Gary needs to get his life together. I can't have my starting catcher hitting .1250 with a million passed balls. Do better or get the fuck off the team

https://t.co/Vj8Om6HzCT 		Saturday, January 02, 2021 1:45:14 PMTwitter for Android
@Jim_Jordan Go fuck yourself for trying to overturn this election, you deranged, delusional moron. You're an embarrassment to the state of Ohio. Trump is an unstable lunatic, and you support his Hitler-esque behavior and baseless conspiracies. https://t.co/HUj7B8uRpl Monday, December 28, 2020 9:25:59 AMTwitter for Android
@realDonaldTrump You're a fuckin loser. Hope you had a shitty Christmas, asshole
In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet
Friday, December 25, 2020 9:21:16 PMTwitter for Android
Moral of the story. Keep your damn nose clean and don't ever do anything shady you wouldn't want coming back to haunt you because you never know who will bring you down, no matter how much time passes
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, December 17, 2020 11:17:08 PMTwitter for Android
Whoever at @Microsoft was responsible for how MSMQ is managed through powershell is a fuckin asshole, specifically regarding clustered queues. Why do we have to set an environmental variable. Couldn't we just pass in the cluster role name?

Fuckin jagoff 		Friday, December 11, 2020 2:01:58 PMTwitter Web App
@realDonaldTrump You're an asshole
In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet
Thursday, December 03, 2020 10:52:04 AMTwitter Web App
@BarackObama really fucked up hard appointing this moron. Goes to show you that classy people actually give the other side a shot and attempt to be bipartisan. Imagine Trump actually giving a Democrat a chance in some office?
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, November 30, 2020 11:35:33 PMTwitter Web App
AJIT PAI (@AjitPaiFCC) IS STEPPING DOWN JAN 20th WHEN ASSHOLE @realDonaldTrump LEAVES AND THEY CAN BOTH GO FUCK THEMSELVES AND EAT 12 BAGS OF DICKS. I AM ELATED ATM

https://t.co/4elTAZX9T9 		Monday, November 30, 2020 11:31:45 PMTwitter Web App
@ind_thought @AjitPaiFCC Trump hates brown people. How can you support his racist ass?
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, November 30, 2020 11:29:41 PMTwitter Web App
@Dar1n9 @AEPOhio @OhioStatehouse @PUCOhio @firstenergycorp Larry Householder is a corrupt asshole, who was in jail and re-elected by a bunch of Trump puppet MORONS.

The @ohiogop are a bunch of corporate shill morons who are pro-cancer for supporting unclean energy.
In reply to @Dar1n9's tweet
Monday, November 30, 2020 11:24:10 PMTwitter Web App
I popped onto Slack for a couple minutes and 900 people are bitching about X and on tirades about Y. And I didn't have to deal with any of that bullshit. Some other asshole can fix it all and I'll get back right when things chill out again.

Enjoyyyyy
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, November 30, 2020 11:21:08 PMTwitter Web App
Like, what kind of braindead asshole is going to pay a fee to deposit funds into a non-FDIC insured GPay account, when you can just use your bank's Zelle, Venmo, PayPal or Cash app for free.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, November 24, 2020 11:41:22 PMTwitter for Android
This is all asshole @AjitPaiFCC's fault. New administration needs to clean up all this FCC riff raff. You corporate shill.

https://t.co/gXktckX1vs 		Monday, November 23, 2020 10:55:26 PMTwitter for Android
Maybe it's just me, but those outdoor Christmas red/green dot projectors people put on their houses look like ASS. They're dim, and for lazy people. Put real lights up Thursday, November 19, 2020 6:29:29 PMTwitter for Android
Bunker boiii sore loser bitch is too embarrassed to appear in public. https://t.co/EW329yGfSs Thursday, November 12, 2020 1:51:41 PMTwitter for Android
I'm sorry, but if anyone willingly installs Android apps such as "Flash Update" outside the Play Store and manually bypasses warnings in the year of our Lord 2020, you deserve to get hacked and money stolen from a banking trojan https://t.co/ylCmdunRPW https://t.co/l1fkh4Fz4x Tuesday, November 10, 2020 11:13:02 PMTwitter for Android
Let's all just go to Oregon, eat psilocybin and disassociate from all the Trump IDIOTS in this country

https://t.co/AkmshLxwWZ 		Thursday, November 05, 2020 11:58:55 AMTwitter Web App
@realDonaldTrump You're an asshole Tuesday, October 27, 2020 4:08:03 PMTwitter Web App
I always have to rewrite this asshole's code. Guy comes in after me, writes shit code, they think he's Jesus Christ, and I'm always cleaning up his goddamn mess Tuesday, October 27, 2020 9:37:55 AMTwitter Web App
When I ask my assistant to play a full album, I expect it to pick the official version. Not a compilation uploaded by Joe Blow (how did this not get a copyright strike)?

@madebygoogle @googlenest @youtubemusic https://t.co/rvb6dLQf7I 		Saturday, October 17, 2020 5:59:10 PMTwitter for Android
This is all asshole @AjitPaiFCC's fault. Broadband in America STINKS

https://t.co/jaolhi3cZa 		Monday, October 05, 2020 9:21:19 PMTwitter for Android
@realDonaldTrump You're a fuckin asshole
In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet
Wednesday, September 30, 2020 2:16:34 PMTwitter for Android
The Trump-tainted @USDA and @forestservice think it's ok to allow logging in 25,000 acres of protected Tongass National Forest even though comments received last fall were 96% in favor of keeping the protections.

Fuck you and fuck @realDonaldTrump

https://t.co/dLlgWRlqnL 		Saturday, September 26, 2020 7:58:22 AMTwitter for Android
This guy likes boobies, thick girls and doesn't allow passengers unless they have really big boobs. https://t.co/FZvulwxuc0 Friday, September 25, 2020 1:38:29 PMTwitter for Android
@bubbacrewjam Nice. I'll have to remember how to reach out to him and see if I can get my password reset. He really needs to get a letsencrypt cert and https. You can't use http in 2020 - login creds literally in plaintext over the public internet
In reply to @bubbacrewjam's tweet
Thursday, September 24, 2020 10:25:00 PMTwitter Web App
@bubbacrewjam Wild wonder what Matt did. I can't log in. I had a super insecure password and it was not https sooooo I'm assuming it's compromised
In reply to @bubbacrewjam's tweet
Tuesday, September 22, 2020 6:01:57 PMTwitter for Android
How ironic that our asshole-in-chief pardoned a black lady for shit white people get away with all the time Friday, August 28, 2020 7:26:38 PMTwitter for Android
@EvanS_FCC IT SHOULD NOT COST $70/MONTH FOR 100/10 INTERNET AND WE HAVE NO CHOICE TO PICK A CHEAPER FASTER PROVIDER

GO EAT AJIT'S CORPORATE VERIZON ASSHOLE
In reply to @EvanS_FCC's tweet
Tuesday, August 25, 2020 9:05:58 PMTwitter for Android
Here's a picture of my dog's shitty asshole and a sign supporting a shitty asshole https://t.co/d9r3OeNjL6 Monday, August 24, 2020 8:13:06 PMTwitter for Android
WHAT KIND OF WIMPY BITCH ASS COP SHOOTS A MAN IN THE BACK 7 TIMES IF HE'S TRYING TO GET IN A CAR AND FLEE. COULDN'T HE HAVE WRESTLED HIM OUT OF THE CAR INSTEAD? Monday, August 24, 2020 8:01:16 AMTwitter for Android
@realDonaldTrump @senatemajldr Because you're down in the polls and trying to use the pandemic to your advantage and rig the election you piece of shit asshole
In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet
Wednesday, August 19, 2020 3:10:21 PMTwitter Web App
@DanielCameronAG @louisvillemayor @LMPD

Hey shithead assholes: How come the murderous pigs who killed Breonna Taylor are still free? 		Tuesday, August 11, 2020 10:29:34 PMTwitter for Android
E Street Legend / Syl / dope ass dude @StevieVanZandt knows wtf is up, ya heard.

https://t.co/IwO42Sg9uF

cc: @RockNationRadio 		Sunday, August 02, 2020 10:51:57 PMTwitter for Android
Stop breaking my fucking balls, Jesus Christ. Every 5 seconds I have to get up and bring you something like I'm a goddamn servant. Get off your ass and leave me alone. I don't ask for 900 things all day long. FUCK Wednesday, July 29, 2020 11:10:57 PMTwitter for Android
@abartlett @RiaJairam @AjitPaiFCC @IlyaSomin @reason Ajit is an asshole, corporate shill Trump puppet
In reply to @abartlett's tweet
Sunday, July 19, 2020 2:16:53 PMTwitter for Android
Tip: be an asshole like Larry David

https://t.co/WCVk4BQlQg
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, July 19, 2020 7:43:35 AMTwitter for Android
Whoever created these ID ranges in this DB manually is an moron asshole. 54 rows in the table and the IDs go up to 100 million. I was batching through this by 100 and was wondering why it never finished https://t.co/8lilhPIffu Friday, July 17, 2020 2:48:45 PMTwitter Web App
@GovKemp You're an asshole, hick, science denying, Trump sucking motherfucker
In reply to @GovKemp's tweet
Thursday, July 16, 2020 10:49:21 PMTwitter for Android
I'll make sure to wait and do my first non-violent crime in my 70s so my old white ass can get away with whatever the fuck I want.

The system is broken. Cancel America. https://t.co/NQJBYtpNVI 		Sunday, July 12, 2020 4:41:42 PMTwitter for Android
@realDonaldTrump You're an asshole
In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet
Thursday, July 09, 2020 12:58:26 PMTwitter Web App
Germany is all like "fuck your shitty assed country, y'all ain't world leaders, you're idiots." And I agree.

https://t.co/QEThiydrcz 		Saturday, June 27, 2020 5:05:27 PMTwitter for Android
@AjitPaiFCC @FCC @SenateCommerce You still have that dumbass Reese's mug, you corporate shill?
In reply to @AjitPaiFCC's tweet
Tuesday, June 23, 2020 10:32:44 PMTwitter Web App
Ya know... Finally got a free moment to work on some shit for work that I never have time for and am way behind on, and the asshole parent company disabled my prod account so EAT A DICK. Monday, June 08, 2020 11:45:44 PMTwitter Web App
I don't even get in until 9. And this asshole scheduled it over the weekend. Jagoff
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, May 25, 2020 9:27:59 PMTwitter for Android
I didn't look at the username I was messing with. I was flat out just being an asshole. Welp, this is my parody Twitter anyway.

But I should reevaluate my life
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, May 23, 2020 1:43:07 AMTwitter Web App
This is a fear mongering full of shit article @arstechnica. Yes, cases will spike after reopening, but the incubation period is longer than 4 days. Plus, the US testing capacity is ass.

https://t.co/eXIjBFveBs 		Wednesday, May 20, 2020 11:34:16 PMTwitter for Android
@ChiefTenaya What a terrible thing to say. Shame on you. Pets are family. It's like losing a family member. Asshole.
In reply to @ChiefTenaya's tweet
Monday, May 18, 2020 1:09:40 AMTwitter for Android
Get a load of this asshole who has the entire driveway open but decides to block the sidewalk. This car has been here for months.

If my dog shits in your yard while I'm walking around your car, and I don't pick it up, it wasn't me https://t.co/YKwG10eAR0 		Monday, April 27, 2020 8:20:24 PMTwitter for Android
FUCKING @Apple BOUGHT AND RUINED DARKSKY. Can only use it on iOS.

And shutting down the API. Assholes. 		Tuesday, March 31, 2020 9:17:08 PMTwitter Web App
@realDonaldTrump Fox News originally said Coronavirus was a hoax you piece of shit asshole.
In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet
Saturday, March 28, 2020 8:38:32 AMTwitter for Android
My daughter is essentially Arod in the sense that she is obsessed with herself and licks her reflection in glass doors and mirrors https://t.co/l2wUGg8tIC Thursday, March 19, 2020 7:27:38 AMTwitter for Android
I didn't realize this virus had an assigned race. The fuck's wrong with people Monday, March 16, 2020 11:11:40 PMTwitter Web App
@SenBlumenthal @LindseyGrahamSC you two assholes trying to pass a bill to break encryption? Sunday, March 15, 2020 7:20:54 PMTwitter for Android
"good morning, I cleaned the clutter out of the kitchen nook. It was driving me nuts forever and looked terrible"

"FUCK YOU, YOU NEGATIVE COMPLAING ASSHOLE"

is a great start to my day and how all my days are. 		Saturday, March 14, 2020 8:16:21 AMTwitter for Android
Not that anyone's working during the plague, but let's just stop my complex scripts I'm focusing on to show a new engineer how to do basic shit in ansible

NBD. My shit can slip and I can look like an asshole while I train new people on basic shit like logging into shit 		Thursday, March 12, 2020 2:03:12 PMTwitter Web App
Is this shit satire, or serious? If it's true, I'm'a live to be a million! Going to have to disagree with it though. Being an asshole sucks

https://t.co/pCOUWRh5xu 		Wednesday, March 11, 2020 12:39:51 AMTwitter Web App
Yo Jack FM has a random ass dope mix going on rn ... Third Eye Blind then Charlie Daniels Band Tuesday, March 10, 2020 10:44:17 PMTwitter for Android
Crashing at my parents old ass house and they got new windows. Which is very convenient for me to open secretly at night without crazy noises, because, use your imagination... Wednesday, February 26, 2020 12:35:45 AMTwitter for Android
.NET assembly binding redirects can suck a mammoth cock Thursday, February 13, 2020 2:48:11 PMTwitter Web App
We're drinking our asses off, apparently... https://t.co/yqXCVwpxFU Wednesday, January 08, 2020 11:34:25 PMTwitter Web App
Jesus Christ on the cross... I'm a grown ass man and my parents are visiting. Waited up for me to get back from this concert and I'm a little fucked up.

And I feel all of the judgment. https://t.co/vDCuzHMURb 		Sunday, December 29, 2019 12:15:13 AMTwitter for Android
@YouTube @YTCreators @googlephotos

The new Youtube Studio cannot import video from google photos anymore? Looks like the option was removed, and when I try to use the classic uploader, it's broken

Why?! https://t.co/AQsSf3osV6 		Friday, December 27, 2019 11:36:49 AMTwitter Web App
New blog post: Entitled, Gen Z Asshole Google Engineer Whines About Being Fired https://t.co/8vT0fv3fPR Friday, December 20, 2019 2:28:36 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
Whoever did the drywall in my house was an asshole. They used dollar store drywall tape. How does it get this shitty in only 15 years? https://t.co/IU3DvKnCL5 Thursday, December 19, 2019 9:46:43 PMTwitter for Android
This was in my local paper. Little kid puts my lunatic ass to shame. Everyone should be more like Lola. https://t.co/yEoW8DosBd Tuesday, December 10, 2019 10:17:52 PMTwitter for Android
Someone please explain to me why on earth my @myQConnect garage door opener has/needs two IPs assigned to it and why the MAC addresses are unique

CC: @internetofshit https://t.co/oMv0BPVK22 		Monday, December 02, 2019 12:01:55 PMTwitter Web App
@bjornwallman @madebygoogle Battery life is garbage. An absolute embarrassment if a phone. Upgraded from a pixel 2 because it's battery wore out and this is just as bad. I want a class action lawsuit! Spent over $900 and the shit doesn't last 5 hours
In reply to @bjornwallman's tweet
Saturday, November 30, 2019 12:09:06 AMTwitter for Android
Jesus Fucking Christ. What kind of inbred morons try to legislate things that are scientifically impossible? These assholes would rather see a woman die than to "murder" an ectopic embryo? Good Lord! https://t.co/auelrlVskj Friday, November 29, 2019 7:33:29 PMTwitter for Android
What kind of asshole pays money for this shit. Take this goddamn sign down. #loveislove

Keep your shitty opinions to yourself. I don't care who gets married to who. https://t.co/1ebGeKpyLB 		Sunday, November 10, 2019 4:41:56 PMTwitter for Android
Benjamin Franklin was a diabolical asshole for coming up with daylight savings time. Saturday, November 02, 2019 8:21:45 PMTwitter for Android
@AjitPaiFCC @FCC You're an asshole
In reply to @AjitPaiFCC's tweet
Wednesday, October 02, 2019 1:11:45 PMTwitter for Android
Were any Yankees placed on the injured list celebrating their division win?

You'd think some asshole would have high fived wrong or slipped and fell of champagne 		Friday, September 20, 2019 1:38:02 AMTwitter for Android
@googlenest Is there some kind of outage? My nest hub was set up just fine, and it got disassociated with my account. I factory reset it and tried to re-add it, and it will not finish. Thursday, September 19, 2019 6:18:40 PMTwitter Web App
@madebygoogle is the assistant / nest hub down? It keeps telling me to log in through the home app, and when I try, it fails Thursday, September 19, 2019 6:01:25 PMTwitter for Android
Was able to duck out the side during the homily. Saved my ass for the rest of these two hours
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, August 31, 2019 2:36:37 PMTwitter for Android
Catholic wedding about to start. I think they're doing the full mass, you guys. I'm two beers in. Have to per before it even started. I'm in for it Saturday, August 31, 2019 2:07:15 PMTwitter for Android
No kidding. The entire NY metro area breeds a bunch of fuckin assholes

https://t.co/uoFjPaQW32 		Thursday, August 22, 2019 12:27:37 PMTwitter Web App
Bought the fastpass to skip 5 lines at the food truck festival and I feel like the worlds biggest asshole Saturday, August 17, 2019 4:11:40 PMTwitter for Android
The @columbusairport is dropping the ball tonight.

1. Gave pilot wrong gate
2. On runway 20 mins after landing due to plane "traffic" (place is deserted)
3. Picked the ass end of the terminal to deplane when closer gates were free
4. Baggage claim is being slow af 		Friday, August 16, 2019 11:56:10 PMTwitter for Android
The fucking plane lands and there's another plane at the gate and no one answered our pilot. Now we had to move out of the way of "traffic" at 11:30

Some asshole fell asleep. I need to get home, I've been gone since last Friday. Fuckssake
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, August 16, 2019 11:40:25 PMTwitter for Android
My degenerate ass bought a six pack and didn't get a bag for it. Walking around Anaheim with it back to the hotel while everyone has their Disney things. I'm a loon Friday, August 16, 2019 12:26:24 AMTwitter for Android
"My fuckin 60 year old boss is getting more ass than I am" -some platform engineer Thursday, August 15, 2019 3:07:57 AMTwitter for Android
The is a guy on this plane standing up with his ass pointed towards my face...

Wash your ass better if you're going to be in public 		Tuesday, August 13, 2019 3:13:37 PMTwitter for Android
Nice jetbridge, @LGAairport. Fucking shithole. The board was wrong, the flight was delayed, the @Delta gate agent was asshole and now I have to get on a bus. The FUCK is this. https://t.co/nnDd91vA7b Friday, August 09, 2019 4:52:03 PMTwitter for Android
Abysmal home/away detection... Always says I'm home when I'm not...

Weird crap all the time.

Rick Osterloh needs to come in a kick everyone at nest labs in the ass and make this shit better
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, August 07, 2019 3:06:22 AMTwitter for Android
Getting all my window trim replaced on my house because M/I Homes thought it was a good idea to use fuckin corregated cardboard so it could soak in water over 10 years and rot my plywood. Cheap assholes. Use PVC Tuesday, July 09, 2019 10:43:59 AMTwitter Web Client
I just ran out of mother fuckin propane at my bbq. I'm going to blame the previous owner for being an asshole and having a spare natural gas line available but not hooking up the outdoor kitchen to it Thursday, July 04, 2019 7:45:21 PMTwitter for Android
Whoever over at Google works on Chrome's password manager are a bunch of goddamn incompetent assholes. How can you not determine the difference between two subdomains? I locked my accounts out like 95 times because of this shit Monday, June 24, 2019 4:01:26 PMTwitter Web Client
Do better, Ohio. We need to get these intolerant assholes the fuck outta hea. Cut this shit out canceling harmless events and making. Haters hating for no reason https://t.co/YOIdVk8uW1 Sunday, June 02, 2019 2:35:25 AMTwitter for Android
The asshole @EPA thinks it's a good idea to triple the allowed level of thyroid disrupting perchlorates in drinking water.

Fuckin assholes. Gotta protect those company profits! Doesn't matter that everyone's getting cancer.

https://t.co/IwaJAZUJsR 		Friday, May 24, 2019 10:01:20 PMTwitter for Android
Suicide attempt:
https://t.co/ICW7yWol2Q

PS - not to be an asshole, but kind of to be an asshole: how hard could it be to kill yourself on train tracks? If the train runs over your neck, you're dead. Imagine trying to die and you end up paralyzed the rest of your life? Yeesh. 		Sunday, May 19, 2019 2:39:37 AMTwitter for Android
1:41AM on Sunday morning and the MTA answered my facetious tweet. Not only did I call them a bunch of assholes but they told me they were hiring! What an organization!

BTW - How much overtime is that social networking marketing person making? https://t.co/rrqxZVX315 		Sunday, May 19, 2019 2:24:12 AMTwitter for Android
You assholes hiring? @MTA @NYCTSubway @MetroNorth

https://t.co/Zq2xDZ9tii 		Sunday, May 19, 2019 1:39:13 AMTwitter for Android
Then they scan your tickets and load you onto a packed bus, jammed ass to dick in there. Bus drives to the tarmac where the plane is.

¿LOLWUT?
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, May 17, 2019 4:47:30 PMTwitter for Android
Someone at @mta @MetroNorth care to explain to me why all the Grand Central tracks smell like hot festering, decomposing garbage dumpsters? Goddamn cess pool in here. An embarrassment.

This city is filthy af. 		Wednesday, May 15, 2019 8:00:40 PMTwitter for Android
@AjitPaiFCC @wifinowevents @WiFiAlliance @HettingClaus You're a mid-band spectrum that's been largely fallow for two decades. It's time to launch a comprehensive review of the future of this band, make a sober assessment of the facts, and then make a timely decision on the best way forward
In reply to @AjitPaiFCC's tweet
Tuesday, May 14, 2019 3:36:51 PMTwitter for Android
If you don't think my fat fuckin ass is eating a Premio sausage and pep tonight at the Stadium, you're sorely mistaken. Tuesday, May 14, 2019 2:56:56 PMTwitter for Android
The one time I'm actually in the office, my boss was remote and heard me calling him an asshole through my coworkers mic, who was in a call with him... Whoops Tuesday, May 14, 2019 2:08:08 PMTwitter for Android
No free speech anymore? I blame these radical hate group assholes for this, because now companies regulate what we can say. I can't call my governor an asshole these days? https://t.co/sGYksDRkMc Monday, May 13, 2019 10:48:56 PMTwitter for Android
Lmao because the Chrome material redesign looks like ass. Edge beta actually looks nice

https://t.co/RC4iVZ2FDA 		Monday, May 13, 2019 10:30:16 PMTwitter for Android
You've gotta be outside your mind to even consider a Facebook Portal. Fuck that. It's like giving those cagey bastards a portal into your living room. Sneaky ass Zuck with his garbage security, spying on you. Fuckouttahea. Tuesday, May 07, 2019 2:00:00 AMTwitter for Android
Asian countries have 1gig internet for the equivalent of $20/month. Costs me $65/month for 100/10. What about the hicks in the boonies on dial up trying to hit up https://t.co/DQrvHHb3RU. They deserve fast broadband too

This is an outrage, @AjitPaiFCC you corporate shill asshole
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, May 01, 2019 2:53:43 AMTwitter for Android
Hey @AjitPaiFCC ... This is fucking deplorable. So you increase investment and require that 40% of ~441k rural locations get 25/3 MBPS brodband by the end 2022? This is an embarrassment. 1) those speeds stink. 2) 2022 is a long way off https://t.co/O9tDz1o4Pi Wednesday, May 01, 2019 2:49:29 AMTwitter for Android
Wow, this fuckin guy really let himself go. Aged like shit in just 5 years. Guess this is what happens when you're a terrorist asshole living in a cave in some shithole https://t.co/FxqzCkxpWu Monday, April 29, 2019 5:56:08 PMTwitter Web Client
Centos7 can suck it with their antique yum packages. "Stability" my ass I want the latest.

Shit just works in Ubuntu. Everything's the goddamn runaround getting it working in CentOS 		Sunday, April 28, 2019 3:54:29 PMTwitter for Android
Maybe I'm being a cynical Yankee fan over here... I should be happy we're up 6-5 after bitching all night but all I can think of is "which bullpen asshole is going to blow the save?" Thursday, April 25, 2019 1:21:44 AMTwitter for Android
😠 @MikeDeWine is an old white asshole who should not be telling women what they can do with their bodies.

What a moron. Do you know how much money this is going to waste in lawsuits? Why can't you be more like @JohnKasich 		Saturday, April 13, 2019 12:23:37 AMTwitter for Android
I can't even anymore... The amount of dumb idiots working in tech is mind bending. I just had an offshore contractor ask for access to a system and she included said valid username/password in her request.

So WTF are you asking for... You answered your own question 		Wednesday, April 03, 2019 12:38:51 PMTwitter Web Client
For fucks sake. If I would have started Peralta in the outfield instead of garbage Nimmo on the shit ass Mets, I would have won fantasy baseball this week. Sunday, March 31, 2019 8:09:22 PMTwitter for Android
@RMerlinDev Thank you! Assuming that all the known issues from 384.9 are still issues, since I don't see any updated ASUS code except for the AX88U, right?
In reply to @RMerlinDev's tweet
Monday, March 25, 2019 2:07:48 PMTwitter Web App
These guinea pigs the wife impulse purchased in 2015 really need to kick the bucket soon on the grounds that they're a pain in the ass to take care of and I have more imoirtant priorities Friday, March 22, 2019 12:56:11 AMTwitter for Android
My NY asshole-ness came out real hard. Ruthless. Bet this Miss Piggy looking bitch won't be wearing perfume in public again after hearing my mouth run
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, March 21, 2019 9:16:09 PMTwitter for Android
@Android are you guys serious with Android Q's ugly ass black notch cutout in screenshots? Fix that shit before it gets released Saturday, March 16, 2019 8:29:32 AMTwitter for Android
Fuckin jackass https://t.co/oLCbXrUlq7 Sunday, March 10, 2019 12:51:54 AMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Asshole Trump's China Tariffs Are Costing Me More Money And I Have Proof https://t.co/cwP9xB9QHo Monday, February 25, 2019 2:13:31 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
@realDonaldTrump Remove the tariffs you stupid asshole. All the shit I bought from China on Amazon in August is now $5-15 more per item.
In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet
Sunday, February 24, 2019 7:27:01 PMTwitter for Android
So how many of these cops were under cover getting rub and tugs to "investigate" these massage places and do a sting operation?

https://t.co/QUH6RyoC9r 		Sunday, February 24, 2019 1:10:06 AMTwitter for Android
TurboTax, are you SERIOUS? Donate $3 to the Presidential Campaign fund? Fuck outta hea. Motherfuckers already have pacs. I'm not paying the shit ass government any extra money.

1) The president is an asshole
2) I owe $4000 in taxes b/c my withholdings got fucked up

#eatadick https://t.co/0rXKFyhaEU 		Thursday, February 21, 2019 12:32:15 AMTwitter Web Client
So let me get this straight... took a $5,500 portfolio devaluation due to a shitty 2018 stock market, but because I didn't sell any of it and made $1,000 in dividends and capital gains, I owe the ASSHOLE government $300 extra in income tax... Thursday, February 14, 2019 1:39:45 AMTwitter Web Client
Beautiful, clean coal for these dumb inbreds who voted for the asshole who is responsible for deregulating this shit: https://t.co/dYX0TaST1v Wednesday, February 13, 2019 12:31:26 PMTwitter Web Client
I have a junior DevOps engineer under me who is too goddamn feeble to understand my superior scripts and is making me rewrite everything I did using a more halfassed method because he can't understand my code.

#fuckouttahea 		Saturday, February 09, 2019 1:58:14 AMTwitter Web Client
Get a load of this hick assed motherfucker. This is a professor at an institution if higher learning? GET LAWST. What an ignoramus. Should have let the south secede... https://t.co/pRCHgh0uyI Sunday, February 03, 2019 12:41:22 PMTwitter for Android
Shocking. I assumed Trump and Fox News were racists who defended this kind of behavior. Bet he wouldn't have given a shit if the VA governor wasnt a Democrat tho

https://t.co/2IX9EOnDdy 		Sunday, February 03, 2019 2:26:44 AMTwitter for Android
Get your kids vaccinated, you stupid fucks. What if your dumbass antivaxxer ways killed a sick, innocent cancer patient with no immune system?

Washington is under a state of emergency as measles cases rise @CNN https://t.co/o1MgH8qUOm 		Saturday, January 26, 2019 10:58:21 PMTwitter for Android
Hey @AjitPaiFCC: you're a goddamn asshole

Sorry, Ajit: Comcast lowered cable investment despite net neutrality repeal https://t.co/dap1ha1NYH 		Saturday, January 26, 2019 10:35:59 PMTwitter for Android
Doesn't even have a security stripe in it. Everyone is going to think I'm passing around bad bills. And what if it is fake. Do I just lose $100?
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, January 25, 2019 7:19:48 PMTwitter for Android
Get this old white asshole out of my state

https://t.co/WYUpxnWnjf 		Wednesday, January 23, 2019 8:27:14 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: Have 49 Tarrant County Texas Republicans Lost Their Goddamned, Ignorant, Hick-Assed Minds? https://t.co/zQJbOcALbd Friday, January 11, 2019 3:00:40 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
Just listened to a 7 minute rant from high school of pops scratching his new glasses on the first day

1) I haven't laughed that hard in years
2) This is where I get it from :/ 		Sunday, January 06, 2019 3:01:07 AMTwitter Web Client
The new @googlechrome UI looks like hideous asshole, and they removed the flag to use the old UI. Thursday, December 27, 2018 5:31:11 PMTwitter for Android
@realDonaldTrump LOL what a waste of money you dumbass. They'll just build tunnels instead
In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet
Wednesday, December 12, 2018 1:59:44 PMTwitter Web Client
Fucking Microsoft and it's Windows 10 updates 1) Deleting people's files 2) Intel pushing bad audio drivers through Windows updates

Why? They are more concerned with stupid fucking features like 3D paint.

Get the fuck out of here. Will you assholes release stable shit?
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, October 29, 2018 1:35:11 AMTwitter for Android
Missed my entire fucking Halloween party because I recommended against something but my boss made us do it anyway at 7PM on Friday and then another asshole engineer broke the cluster and boom, 5 hours wasted.

Everyone can eat a dick
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, October 29, 2018 1:33:00 AMTwitter for Android
Technology is goddamn infuriating. Everything is a buggy piece of shit. Nothing works right. Product owners are overpaid assholes who add useless features and don't focus on a smooth experience Monday, October 29, 2018 1:28:51 AMTwitter for Android
@nypost Jesus Christ with this clickbait headline you tabloid assed paper. Respect the man and put his name in the headline, y'all made it sound like Sterling kicked it!
In reply to @nypost's tweet
Tuesday, October 23, 2018 11:32:06 PMTwitter for Android
Will all you asshole Mac people stop checking in .DS_STORE bullshit files into git repositories and zip files? Use .gitignore kthx Friday, October 19, 2018 1:25:16 PMTwitter Web Client
Not even shitting you, this was the final exam for one of my management classes... Pretty sure the professor came up with this on acid... https://t.co/t7nERHST46 Tuesday, October 16, 2018 4:04:33 AMTwitter Web Client
jfc with the guy that threw beer on that A's fan. Be classier, Yankees fans. We already have a bad rep for being assholes. Friday, October 05, 2018 1:01:13 AMTwitter for Android
Ajit Pai is an asshole Monday, September 10, 2018 8:35:35 PMTwitter for Android
The inbred-ness of the West Virginia people at yesterday's Trump rally is off the charts ridiculous, laugh out loud funny. These people are an embarrassment to the USA. Kick the entire state out of the Union! Wednesday, August 22, 2018 2:20:27 AMTwitter for Android
When I find the motherfucker who stole my gas tank cap, I'm going to be plugging their asshole shut with it Tuesday, August 21, 2018 10:47:17 PMTwitter for Android
@MetroNorth Good service on the Harlem Line my ass. The 6:36 left at 6:50. Keep raising those fares tho! https://t.co/hnefOZShsl
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, August 03, 2018 7:15:47 PMTwitter for Android
Machine learning my ass. You know some degenerate over at Google did this on purpose. Or their machine learning algorithm is DTF https://t.co/bR5ySael8M #android #feedly Sunday, July 29, 2018 12:43:14 AMTwitter for Android
Everyone's driving like fucking assholes rn Sunday, July 22, 2018 5:49:13 PMTwitter for Android
@RMerlinDev is it true ASUS released 3.0.0.4.382.50702 GPL for the 87U? I'm assuming this won't make it to your 384.6 firmware. Assuming ASUS keeps releasing updates for it, do I just have to wait for 384.7? Friday, July 20, 2018 2:28:09 AMTwitter for Android
@senjudiciary @WSJ @POTUS He's a dumbass bitch who wants to block websites on the internet like we're the Great Firewall of China.
In reply to @senjudiciary's tweet
Tuesday, July 10, 2018 8:44:47 PMTwitter Web Client
Hey @EPAScottPruitt! Go FUCK YOURSELF! Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out you crooked bastard

Go suffocate on greenhouse gases you idiot 		Thursday, July 05, 2018 4:40:03 PMTwitter Web Client
While @AjitPaiFCC is a fuckup asshole, and I agree with a free and open internet, THIS SHOULD NOT BE A DEMOCRAT VS REPUBLICAN ISSUE https://t.co/XGgc9rwoLg Thursday, May 17, 2018 4:40:05 PMTwitter for Android
Hey @AjitPaiFCC: GO FUCK YORSELF
(Although it won't get past the house or ya boy Donnie). But you're still a fuckup asshole corporate shill

https://t.co/stTsYb1obm 		Wednesday, May 16, 2018 4:22:07 PMTwitter for Android
This woman is savage though. Flat out take her feet down when the guy comes by and puts em right back up after he's passed
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, May 15, 2018 10:22:58 PMTwitter for Android
Now someone shit the train... This one time, I am innocent of the ripass Tuesday, May 15, 2018 10:15:35 PMTwitter for Android
Hey @realDonaldTrump you stupid idiot. You suppisedly went to Wharton? Idk about you but DSB told me that international trade was important. Your trade wars are crashing all my stocks ya fuckin buffoon. Friday, April 06, 2018 6:13:02 PMTwitter for Android
There is zero grass in Astoria. Zero. Cero. She has no ass clue where to pee and poo Tuesday, April 03, 2018 10:09:32 PMTwitter for Android
See, in my older age, idgaf as much about drinking, but they don't have Papaya Dog or dollar pizza in Ohio doe. So jussayin. #getnycfoodinmybelly Monday, April 02, 2018 10:29:59 PMTwitter for Android
Hey @Twitter IDGAF about tweets my followers like. My timeline should be just their tweets, in reverse chronological order. Stop trying to be Facebook and Instagram. Wednesday, March 28, 2018 10:12:52 AMTwitter Web Client
@ky9 It's either an iPhone or the Pixel 2. Nothing else. If you can wait until the fall, Pixel 3 or next iPhone. But a Pixel 2 is my favorite and will still be pretty future proof. And has a boss camera. You'll just need to deal without iMessage.
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Saturday, March 17, 2018 3:14:00 AMTwitter for Android
Nest's algorithm to give you a leaf is SO full of shit. They reward you leaves for leaving your house and auto-setting your HVAC to eco mode, but the days I ran the least heat, I didn't get a leaf? Wat? https://t.co/uaCxHhKsWZ Saturday, March 17, 2018 3:11:40 AMTwitter for Android
Blackened comes on my shuffle. Mal: "That's how you've been driving recently"

I may have road raged a guy who put his high beams in my eyes when I couldn't go faster than the guy in front of me, even though he had room to pass.

https://t.co/n2qCe3oAGN 		Friday, March 09, 2018 12:38:14 PMTwitter Web Client
These people are sick in the fuckin head and living in a fantasy world

https://t.co/ADCa0ScWQQ

This video is absolutely enraging and ignorant. 		Friday, March 09, 2018 11:01:12 AMTwitter Web Client
Hey @kristinegWP... Why is your article on the kid getting bitten by a dog so biased? You made it sound like it was an unprovoked attack, but left out the fact that the owner warned the kid not to approach the dog Friday, February 23, 2018 3:39:42 AMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: I Don't Have any Problem With an Emotional Support Dog Biting Your Dumbass Kid https://t.co/au2TUn9xmO Friday, February 23, 2018 3:13:39 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
https://t.co/Si28ytN5e8

See. Told ya he was a non-physicist douche... Musk claimed his care would be in orbit for a billion years. But radiation will ruin it in much less than that. Idiot. https://t.co/2LGi25J8Ou 		Wednesday, February 07, 2018 6:24:06 PMTwitter Web Client
@AjitPaiFCC @MIC_JAPAN @kb2474 Hey shithead. Japan's internet is better than ours you shill ass bitch. You ruined it
In reply to @AjitPaiFCC's tweet
Friday, January 05, 2018 12:25:05 AMTwitter for Android
Dumbass @AjitPaiFCC not going to CES because he's a goddamn pussy Wednesday, January 03, 2018 7:31:46 PMTwitter for Android
You guys. The bands covering Petty and I'm borderline emotional because he legit wanted to retire from touring to hang out with his granddaughter after his tour this year #RIP Friday, December 29, 2017 2:41:59 PMTwitter for Android
I hate bars with restroom attendiants. This place had a shitty sink sensor and I called the guy out on it and he called me back out for not using it right #blowme Wednesday, December 13, 2017 8:54:55 PMTwitter for Android
Stop tweeting about stupid fucking sauce and go kill yourself. No one likes you, you miserable corporate shill. I hope a tree falls on you. https://t.co/4kYu54lWUv Wednesday, December 13, 2017 4:01:19 PMTwitter Web Client
I kind of quit this twitter account, but I just wanted to point out this goofy, gopher-assed looking motherfucker. Die in a bus fire. https://t.co/PAjqu42g10 Monday, November 27, 2017 2:08:10 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Whack Ass WiFi Issue https://t.co/vEOSP79okA Saturday, November 25, 2017 1:20:38 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
@MotorolaUS Anne, you're probably coo, but your idiot designers should have put a USB C port instead. The phone stinks. It didn't hold up 2 years
In reply to @MotorolaUS's tweet
Thursday, September 14, 2017 11:25:37 PMTwitter for Android
@lenovo @MotorolaUS Way to update it too, assholes. Last security patch was 12/2016 and the OS is two years old. Fuck off
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, September 14, 2017 12:12:28 PMTwitter for Android
@lenovo @MotorolaUS What kind of piece of shit phone breaks all my charging cables after 2 weeks? They legit work everywhere else except my phone and "break"
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, September 14, 2017 12:10:57 PMTwitter for Android
@lenovo @MotorolaUS Hey @MotorolaUS you know what October 4th is? The day I get to buy a Pixel 2 and get rid of this piece of shit Moto X Pure 2015
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, September 14, 2017 12:08:28 PMTwitter for Android
This is a pain in the ass you @vizio cocksuckers
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, August 31, 2017 1:51:41 AMTwitter Web Client
"My boss broke a bottle of Crown Royale. But she strained the broken glass out and now we have it in a plastic cup written on in sharpie" Wednesday, August 30, 2017 11:07:24 PMTwitter for Android
Hey @SIRIUSXM: y'all players need to optimize your Windows Store app. By no means should an audio stream use 30% of my CPU and 350 MB of RAM https://t.co/zVGJLYv2uA Friday, August 25, 2017 1:38:23 PMTwitter Web Client
Hey @moto @lenovo your inept assed Moto X 2015 can't even run the fuckin @Uber app without freezing. Cunts https://t.co/xDTZVM67Ga Saturday, August 19, 2017 12:16:28 AMTwitter for Android
Wifey's already breaking glasses at the bar Thursday, August 17, 2017 10:35:20 PMTwitter for Android
I don't give a fuck about Philly Technician Jamaal. Comcast sux. @AjitPaiFCC sucks, Philly sucks. Stop showing up as an ad in my timeline https://t.co/u81dKbJd95 Thursday, August 17, 2017 9:25:07 PMTwitter for Android
Hard at work, with my dirty assed kicks all over their grillmix https://t.co/G7mseOXyv8 Thursday, August 17, 2017 3:43:04 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu I've got 477 wedding pics missing timestamps and need to write a script to correct it so they stay in the right order on Google Photos
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Tuesday, August 15, 2017 1:20:46 AMTwitter Web Client
Welcome to shithole LaGuardia... Rather than taxiing to the gate, we've parked the plane and are being gassed out by jet fuel. Monday, August 14, 2017 9:02:21 AMTwitter for Android
Yo @waze love your app, but it's buggy af on Android. I had to force close it 5 times and restart the nav because it kept freezing. Wtf: https://t.co/6b0FkQogct Sunday, August 13, 2017 4:45:58 PMTwitter for Android

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