368 tweets posted from BlueSky
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| Tweet | Date | Source |
|---|---|---|
| Ohhh shit. I forgot about this. This is why I was cropdusting the whole time In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Saturday, April 18, 2026 9:52:54 PM | BlueSky |
| The number of parents who reek of weed at Chuck E Cheese is a lot. Dog, I don't judge but if you want to show up at a kids place high, at least vape or have edibles. Come on now. At least try not to reek of it. | Saturday, April 18, 2026 6:43:14 PM | BlueSky |
| There's nothing wrong with a K shaped economy for those who are on the upper end of the K | Friday, April 17, 2026 9:47:43 PM | BlueSky |
| Wifey brought home leftover Mexican from her trip. Probably shouldn't eat a ton of beans before a kid's birthday party tomorrow at Chuck E Cheese. I'm going to be gassing the place out over there... | Friday, April 17, 2026 9:24:07 PM | BlueSky |
| I have the worst luck in fantasy baseball with my breakouts. Abel starts the season 0-2 like a jerkoff, so I bench him. Then he throws a gem for 34 while he's on my bench. FFS | Friday, April 17, 2026 10:10:58 AM | BlueSky |
| Explain to me how in the Welcome to Atlanta (Coast to Coast Remix) Radio edit, they bleep out marijuana but not cocaine | Thursday, April 16, 2026 7:03:22 PM | BlueSky |
| The school nurse is an asshole and I want her to refund me my $25 copay because she said my kid's ears were both red and swollen. Took her to the doctor to see if she had an ear infection for antibiotics and she's completely fine. "ears look great" | Thursday, April 16, 2026 4:43:18 PM | BlueSky |
| Bring it! I'm all for yeeting myself out of society. Hikikomori. The Japanese really know what they're doing over here. https://www.iflscience.com/hikikomori-is-this-dark-japanese-phenomenon-going-global-83148 | Wednesday, April 15, 2026 9:22:34 PM | BlueSky |
| Eat a dick, I won the battle. Now I get to go home In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Wednesday, April 15, 2026 6:27:36 PM | BlueSky |
| Just one of those days where the CI will always fail no matter how many fixes you push. This is starting to annoy the ever living shit out of me ffs. | Wednesday, April 15, 2026 6:11:43 PM | BlueSky |
| The amount of trolling and absurdities I commit into the codebases at work is beyond. DevOps Borat: [[ Image ]] | Wednesday, April 15, 2026 4:58:43 PM | BlueSky |
| "Whenever I'm too hot, it sounds like I'm speaking British" -E | Wednesday, April 15, 2026 3:56:58 PM | BlueSky |
| Protip: don't eat 10 chicken nuggets and then power walk to school pickup when it's 78 degrees outside | Wednesday, April 15, 2026 3:24:45 PM | BlueSky |
| God miserable damn it with this shit. I'm busy, late to leave, and now the security team pages out to rotate mf'in GitHub secrets that got exposed [[ Image ]] | Tuesday, April 14, 2026 6:37:42 PM | BlueSky |
| How come all high school white boys have broccoli heads? | Tuesday, April 14, 2026 10:16:22 AM | BlueSky |
| Never had the president threatening the pope on my 2026 bingo card... | Monday, April 13, 2026 1:03:06 AM | BlueSky |
| Mike Pinder always took you on a journey outside your mind, through the solar system, among the stars and back again on a wild roller coaster. What a guy. | Sunday, April 12, 2026 10:46:38 PM | BlueSky |
| Can't I catch a fucking break over here? Lost by 3 points last week, and this week, I scored 3rd highest points in the league but happened to match up against one of the two teams that did better. I was predicted to win and didn't. Now I'm predicted to lose next week and probably will. In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Sunday, April 12, 2026 9:39:15 PM | BlueSky |
| I mean... I dreamt one of my starters threw a perfect game and I got 100 points. Thought I had wee 3 in the bag. Then checked and saw my best mfer on the injured list and that it was a fake dream. Fuck off all you hoes In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Sunday, April 12, 2026 9:36:29 PM | BlueSky |
| I thought my fantasy baseball team had a little hope this season. I changed my strategy and won the first game. I'm about to have lost weeks 2 and 3 🤷 Team fuckin blows | Sunday, April 12, 2026 9:34:51 PM | BlueSky |
| Both Netflix and YouTube Music Premium are raising prices and it's going to cost me like $9 more a month for both. You know who never raised prices ever? Torrents. Free for life. #StickItToTheMan #EatTheRich #FuckMediaConglomerates [[ Image ]] | Sunday, April 12, 2026 1:11:48 PM | BlueSky |
| Dog why were movies so crazy in the 70s. Charlie and The Chocolate Factory flat out absurd. Old Grandpa Joe's sick in bed for 20 years and then he sees Charlie's ticket and suddenly gets up and dances the jig | Saturday, April 11, 2026 8:20:43 PM | BlueSky |
| Everyone's breaking my balls over here today | Friday, April 10, 2026 1:36:30 PM | BlueSky |
| Hogwash! My grandpa ate burnt toast all the time. He used to say the charcoal was good for the stomach. Guy lived to 99. https://www.theguardian.com/science/2026/apr/07/crispr-gene-edited-wheat-toasted-bread-less-carcinogenic-acrylamide | Tuesday, April 07, 2026 9:09:44 PM | BlueSky |
| Artemis II astronauts are like: "Thank Christ we left that shithole planet" | Tuesday, April 07, 2026 12:12:09 PM | BlueSky |
| The trains have been angry the past few nights | Tuesday, April 07, 2026 1:09:30 AM | BlueSky |
| Here's a video of a cardinal being an aggressive prick in my bird feeder | Monday, April 06, 2026 7:46:52 PM | BlueSky |
| I have fuckin agita over here. Everything was going fine and then all of a sudden my mom starts shit with wifey and my fucking plumbing company sent me a surprise $500 invoice, 2 months later, for electrical work related to a plumbing install which should have included everything | Monday, April 06, 2026 4:57:25 PM | BlueSky |
| My neurodivergent ass found it interesting that my laptop (which runs 24/7), uses 2 more idle watts when running nginx, php and Selenium docker containers - with no requests, load or tests running vs the docker engine shut down. | Monday, April 06, 2026 2:45:29 AM | BlueSky |
| These MLB umpires are either blind asf, betting on the games or have it in for the Yankees. Two overturned calls. Calls a guy safe at home who was clearly tagged and his foot didn't even touch the plate. Fuck outta hea. | Sunday, April 05, 2026 7:07:04 PM | BlueSky |
| Dog, MLB baseball players are weak. FFS, I'm not even through week 2 and I have like 3 mfers on the injured list. In a deep league, losing Hunter Brown is some bullshit | Sunday, April 05, 2026 6:39:55 PM | BlueSky |
| [[ Image ]] | Sunday, April 05, 2026 4:42:04 PM | BlueSky |
| Fuck outta hea with this nonsense. Blasphemy! Disgraziad! https://nypost.com/2026/03/28/lifestyle/surprising-pizza-contender-is-beating-new-york-and-chicago-and-gaining-fans-fast/ In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Thursday, April 02, 2026 3:21:18 AM | BlueSky |
| Any New Yorker who writes an article about how good Columbus pizza is really needs to reevaluate their lives. I always knew the NY Post was a joke, and this solidifies that fact. Disgraziad! https://614now.com/2026/uncategorized/columbus-style-pizza-praised-by-the-new-york-post | Thursday, April 02, 2026 1:54:59 AM | BlueSky |
| Jokes on them. I've gotten around it. Little bit of a pain in the ass, but no one stops Chad Scraper [[ Image ]] In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Wednesday, April 01, 2026 9:49:58 PM | BlueSky |
| Nothing like shattering a bottle of fuckin sauce the second you bring it home because the top-heavy motherfucker tipped over on your granite counter. I want my $5 back. Not a shitty jar of Prego, but the good stuff. 😞 [[ Image ]] | Wednesday, April 01, 2026 5:43:49 PM | BlueSky |
| Gasbuddy cranked up their Cloudflare bot protection, the miserable pricks. | Wednesday, April 01, 2026 6:02:44 AM | BlueSky |
| This is a weird as shit mix, YouTube Music. These genres are polar opposites and don't mix. [[ Image ]] | Monday, March 30, 2026 4:58:26 AM | BlueSky |
| Mandatory disclaimer. This is a joke and I didn't actually do this. I nested my reply under the wrong post, sooo just need to set the record straight this is a serious, non-joking matter: https://bsky.app/profile/portfolioso.com/post/3miahzvd5pk27 In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Monday, March 30, 2026 2:29:01 AM | BlueSky |
| Docker Des' top E cel ile E plorer Windows: Go home. You're drunk [[ Image ]] | Sunday, March 29, 2026 10:34:49 PM | BlueSky |
| I'm also just kidding about this. It's no joke. In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Sunday, March 29, 2026 9:50:40 PM | BlueSky |
| Don't drink and drive when you can smoke and fly In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Sunday, March 29, 2026 9:09:36 PM | BlueSky |
| I'm just kidding about the beers. It's an exaggeration. Never happened. Don't drink and drive folks. Very bad. Don't ruin anyone's lives or your life. In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Sunday, March 29, 2026 9:09:13 PM | BlueSky |
| Columbus drivers stink. I had 4 beers and can drive better than these pricks. 10 under the speed limit, no turn signals, can't maintain their lanes. Get the fuck out of here. | Sunday, March 29, 2026 9:08:23 PM | BlueSky |
| Forgot how much I hate drinking. I have to piss so bad and this fucking place only has one one damn toilet working. I'm such an old. You know where I can piss without waiting? My gd house. Ffs | Sunday, March 29, 2026 7:33:44 PM | BlueSky |
| How was everyone's No Kings Day? Soon as it was over, I went down to my local Antifa office and George Soros personally handed me my protest check. Got paid $420.69 to hold up some signs for a few hours. It's a total racket! You should try it sometime! | Saturday, March 28, 2026 10:50:13 PM | BlueSky |
| What a sweet baby. You gave her the best life. So sorry for your loss In reply to @tracketpacer.com's post | Saturday, March 28, 2026 12:12:05 PM | BlueSky |
| That's why I fucked his wife and got filthy rich In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Thursday, March 26, 2026 8:35:57 PM | BlueSky |
| I have to sit through hours of this bullshit which can be summed up as "respect people and don't be a gd creep" | Thursday, March 26, 2026 12:51:49 PM | BlueSky |
| These HR sexual harassment trainings are beyond absurd. I can't believe there are people who actually do the things that happen in these trainings. Like a bru asked someone out, got politely declined and then he kept asking a million times? Read the room. Why chase someone not interested? Christ. | Thursday, March 26, 2026 12:45:27 PM | BlueSky |
| I have a problem. I need to open my garage, but the drain guys are working outside and are literally right next to it and I have no way to vent the garage out and not have them notice if you know what I'm saying | Wednesday, March 25, 2026 10:55:19 AM | BlueSky |
| Randy Walters is a son of a bitch! | Wednesday, March 25, 2026 12:24:44 AM | BlueSky |
| Imagine being the air traffic controller responsible for clearing a firetruck and a plane at the same time and it killed the pilot and copilot. Person is ruined for life. jeeeeeesus | Monday, March 23, 2026 10:01:11 AM | BlueSky |
| Want to piss off a boomer? Don't cash a check they give you for a few weeks. It will throw off their manual checkbook ledger | Sunday, March 22, 2026 11:22:57 PM | BlueSky |
| If X doesn't have a bot problem, why did these two accounts both follow me within seconds? [[ Image ]][[ Image ]] | Sunday, March 22, 2026 1:31:03 AM | BlueSky |
| Dog. Afroman winning his civil case against whiny little offended cops is the good news we need in these dark times. Some of the testimony was laugh out loud funny. And his celebration is just👌https://www.instagram.com/reels/DWCzAG4iRV_/ | Thursday, March 19, 2026 2:32:53 AM | BlueSky |
| Idk how I used to be a raging alcoholic in college, because my body completely rejects beer in my elder years. I had one beer, two nights in a row and I'm shitting my brains out (sry tmi not sorry) | Thursday, March 19, 2026 1:14:33 AM | BlueSky |
| You know what's so annoying? Shitting before a shower, thinking you'll be all fresh and clean, only having to shit again directly after the shower. Although the recirculation loop pumping out warm bidet water is a GAME CHANGER | Wednesday, March 18, 2026 11:07:00 PM | BlueSky |
| "E. It looks like a bunch of pepperonis attacked you" #ShitGirstGradersSay | Monday, March 16, 2026 4:57:34 PM | BlueSky |
| Logitech mouse middle click stopped working reliably. Opened it up and it had a foam pad that pressed the button on the board, but the foam was so indented it wasn't pressing anymore. Jammed some cardboard over it and it works as good as new. #solutionsengineer | Monday, March 16, 2026 1:26:45 PM | BlueSky |
| "It was pretty good, to be surprised" - Eliana (she meant tbh) | Saturday, March 14, 2026 10:46:48 AM | BlueSky |
| So what are the best countries willing to take disgruntled Americans? Anyone? I think it's about time to GTFO here like my ancestors left Southern Italy in the early 1900s https://search.app/KcAc7 | Saturday, March 14, 2026 1:15:00 AM | BlueSky |
| You know my tism is out in full force when my social interactions make less than zero sense. Kid's friend's parent: "Have a great night" Me: "See you then" | Friday, March 13, 2026 7:53:34 PM | BlueSky |
| Microsoft CoPilot is in love with the word "clean" Ask it anything. It will include "clean" in the response. It's enraging. They need to dial this shit back a little ffs | Friday, March 13, 2026 12:23:10 AM | BlueSky |
| This is some Midwestern bullshit right hur [[ Image ]] | Wednesday, March 11, 2026 7:56:28 PM | BlueSky |
| This dude on reddit said he witnessed the most gruesome fatal accident ever. It's wild how the entire thread is telling him to play Tetris. I guess there's valid studies regarding it preventing PTSD, but it just sounds absurd | Wednesday, March 11, 2026 3:37:11 AM | BlueSky |
| auto_restart_kiosk.bat with a press any key pause🤣 Nothing unattended about that! Who's using batch files anymore? Also, all these Kiosk probs are Windows 🤔 In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Sunday, March 08, 2026 2:18:40 PM | BlueSky |
| One of my hobbies is documenting failed kiosks that have errored out [[ Image ]][[ Image ]][[ Image ]] | Sunday, March 08, 2026 11:34:34 AM | BlueSky |
| What would you say is the best Asus Wifi 7 router I can get at this moment that will have long-term Merlin AsusWRT support? the 86 series is midrange (AC/AX/BE) but seems to be most popular with the most firmware downloads. I've seen some niche high end older models get neglected by Asus In reply to @asuswrt-merlin.net's post | Thursday, March 05, 2026 1:50:16 PM | BlueSky |
| Giving up weed for 3 days: 2/29, 2/30, and 2/31 | Sunday, March 01, 2026 2:21:44 AM | BlueSky |
| So you're 21 😂 In reply to @tracketpacer.com's post | Saturday, February 14, 2026 4:09:10 PM | BlueSky |
| Lol I can't tell if you're trolling with that or genuinely like the concept. I had a cheap similar one and it was meh - maybe it was accurate? Couldn't tell. But I've seen some fancy ones that are probably more accurate and can even identify the exact charging protocol negotiated. Get a good one! In reply to @tracketpacer.com's post | Friday, February 06, 2026 11:46:34 PM | BlueSky |
| TF this cracker talking about [[ Image ]] | Tuesday, February 03, 2026 5:26:51 PM | BlueSky |
| Awww. How's pupper doing? I remember you saying s/he was sick In reply to @tracketpacer.com's post | Friday, January 23, 2026 1:15:54 AM | BlueSky |
| I like the idea of Bluesky better because it's a refreshing place, it's just that the majority are still on Elon's dumb bullshit. I just can't stay away from the format. Been in Twitter Jail this past week so I'm finding myself here more | Sunday, January 18, 2026 12:55:59 PM | BlueSky |
| I love that you did this. Should do again in today's climate In reply to @tracketpacer.com's post | Saturday, January 17, 2026 10:10:41 PM | BlueSky |
| A door to door solicitor pushed me too far today (dog recovering from surgery and needs rest, and she got up to bark at the door). So I put 5 of these all around my door and doorbell [[ Image ]] | Friday, January 16, 2026 7:44:35 PM | BlueSky |
| Nothing is more enraging than Azure APIs and the fact that Microsoft literally sends back different responses for the same gd request within 30 seconds. I have an engineer who loops through API versions and makes the same API call in try/catch because "it'll work on for of them" JFC | Thursday, January 15, 2026 11:24:50 PM | BlueSky |
| That's it. AI is pissing me off and outputting absolute garbage. I'm writing this myself 😎 | Thursday, January 15, 2026 11:16:37 PM | BlueSky |
| No. NO. Just NO. Why do people do this. You need to go DC to DC. It's so inefficient to run an inverter to convert to AC power just for the wall wart to convert it back to DC. This person needs to get a 100W USB-C to C cable and charge it that way [[ Image ]] | Wednesday, January 14, 2026 5:08:50 PM | BlueSky |
| X just banned me for a week because I told the ohiogop account that I hope they got ebola | Wednesday, January 14, 2026 12:07:58 AM | BlueSky |
| After hating on the whole javascript ecosystem for 15 years, I'm finally embracing it because it's everywhere and if you don't adapt, the old dino gets kicked to the curb | Saturday, December 27, 2025 2:57:12 PM | BlueSky |
| What kind of shit is this [[ Image ]] | Sunday, December 21, 2025 12:37:33 PM | BlueSky |
| Same, girl, same. But you come across confident. No one would know In reply to @tracketpacer.bsky.social's post | Saturday, December 20, 2025 1:26:58 AM | BlueSky |
| Seriously though. Where do the Canadian geese think they're going. It's 2am and raining and they're up there honking up a storm flying somewhere on a mission | Friday, December 19, 2025 2:09:10 AM | BlueSky |
| In Twitter jail. I really don't understand what the problem is with saying that a child rapist should be sent foot first through a wood chipper. [[ Image ]] | Thursday, December 04, 2025 6:39:16 PM | BlueSky |
| How can I make money trolling the maga dummies on X? I want in on this?!?! In reply to @tracketpacer.bsky.social's post | Friday, November 28, 2025 12:07:43 PM | BlueSky |
| Engineer on my team asked our overnight team to approve a PR. Fuckin guy comments "looks good. approved" doesn't actually approve it, and then closes the PR with unmerged changes. My Brother in Christ, what is actually wrong with you? | Tuesday, November 25, 2025 1:13:45 AM | BlueSky |
| When they say something is spicy, is it socially acceptable to ask if it's white people spicy, or actually spicy? | Tuesday, November 18, 2025 11:45:11 AM | BlueSky |
| I am home alone and have the heat set to 62 and I'm in my glories | Monday, November 17, 2025 10:57:33 PM | BlueSky |
| Your network made it back In reply to @tracketpacer.bsky.social's post | Friday, November 14, 2025 8:48:11 PM | BlueSky |
| I never find the need to drink wine until I have some wine and then I want more wine | Monday, November 10, 2025 11:44:27 PM | BlueSky |
| I've had enough of society. 3I/ATLAS better be an alien spaceship and it'll do us all a big favor wiping is out | Tuesday, November 04, 2025 11:18:05 AM | BlueSky |
| I can't believe the asshole LA Dodgers won the World Series again and Don Mattingly gets absolutely nothing his entire career. | Sunday, November 02, 2025 9:49:27 PM | BlueSky |
| Lol what even is this thread. The amount of energy this dude is exerting being big mad at your videos is one of the more puzzling things I've seen on the interwebs in a while. In reply to @tracketpacer.bsky.social's post | Saturday, October 18, 2025 2:13:05 AM | BlueSky |
| Amateur hour, joining BlueSky and not even configuring their handle to be @dhs.gov. How am I supposed to take these pricks seriously? In reply to @homelandgov.bsky.social's post | Saturday, October 18, 2025 1:58:16 AM | BlueSky |
| Twitter is literally so bad. My algorithm is so bad. | Monday, October 06, 2025 11:22:05 PM | BlueSky |
| I've always been a fan of PowerShell, and thought I was nifty with this one script... TL;DR my Windows VM got corrupted and I didn't want the bloat, so I ported the script to bash on linux. Result: bash script is so much simpler and they achieve the same exact thing 😯 | Monday, October 06, 2025 11:18:12 PM | BlueSky |
| Update: couple are catchy, but meh. It's all recycled In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Sunday, October 05, 2025 8:54:21 AM | BlueSky |
| Confession. I think my 6 yr old turned me into a Swiftie because I'm up listening to her new record and it slaps. | Friday, October 03, 2025 1:11:13 AM | BlueSky |
