78 results for piss
TweetDateSource
Forgot how much I hate drinking. I have to piss so bad and this fucking place only has one one damn toilet working. I'm such an old. You know where I can piss without waiting? My gd house. Ffs Sunday, March 29, 2026 7:33:44 PMBlueSky
Want to piss off a boomer? Don't cash a check they give you for a few weeks. It will throw off their manual checkbook ledger Sunday, March 22, 2026 11:22:57 PMBlueSky
Someone tell me wtf is wrong with Windows 11's spell checker. It sucks BALLS. Any app that uses the OS native spell checking makes piss poor suggestions:

IE - dont (with no apostrophe suggests don'ts)

traffiv --> triffid (rather than traffic)

@Windows 		Sunday, December 10, 2023 10:25:02 PMTwitter Web App
@SadPanda33 @NRO @FrankLaRose he's a bag of piss
In reply to @SadPanda33's tweet
Monday, August 07, 2023 2:31:00 PMTwitter Web App
My piss smells like asparagus and I don't think I ate any... Saturday, July 29, 2023 10:52:31 PMTwitter for Android
This place is annoying the ever-loving piss out of me today. I'm gonna go pick up dog shit and mow my lawn instead of dealing with this noise Tuesday, April 12, 2022 1:09:20 PMTwitter Web App
You know you're a fuck up president when you want to visit a joint and the mayor, governor and attorney general are all like "stay away, you'll piss off more people"

But you know.. It's all the radical left's fault. 		Monday, August 31, 2020 8:08:59 AMTwitter for Android
I just took a piss on a conference call and my headset wasn't muted Thursday, November 07, 2019 11:50:55 AMTwitter Web App
Amazon made a piss poor decision picking NYC as one location for its new headquarters. Where the actual hell are they going to fit 25,000 more people? The subways will not handle it. Good luck with that noise... Tuesday, November 13, 2018 6:05:27 PMTwitter Web Client
Took a leak when shaggys move it came on. Piss poor timing Saturday, May 19, 2018 1:05:07 AMTwitter for Android
Hungover af. Phones at 2% and my piss smells like asparagus metabolite. Saturday, July 15, 2017 7:35:02 AMTwitter for Android
Get a load of one of the chefs at Irish American who took a piss and didnt wash his hands Thursday, April 20, 2017 11:12:57 PMTwitter for Android
What kinda stupid place has a push door men's room with a lock. I gotta piss. GTFO bitty Saturday, January 28, 2017 10:20:19 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu used to piss off @MalJNew by saying that over and over randomly throughout the day (with accent). Thanks for the reminder
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Monday, May 16, 2016 5:42:20 PMTwitter for Android
The entire WTC E station smells like bums and piss @NYCTSubway Friday, January 08, 2016 5:50:27 PMTwitter for Android
Piss and line cunts Monday, October 26, 2015 9:52:54 PMTwitter for Android
That time you have to piss and you didn't even take off yet. This is why you don't get hammered before flights Monday, September 14, 2015 3:39:03 PMTwitter for Android
I saw no less than 10 people who probably OD'd on heroin, it smells like piss, people try to sell you everything and it's filthy. Monday, August 24, 2015 5:57:32 PMTwitter for Android
Gotta piss like a racehorse Saturday, February 21, 2015 4:02:38 PMTwitter for Android
Whoever is pissin in this bathroom needs to gtfo and let me piss because I'm more important. Friday, February 13, 2015 9:25:10 PMTwitter for Android
"I make dick jokes, am a borderline racist, alcoholic, drug addict" -@barstooljj via @YuppieJunk I might piss myself Friday, January 09, 2015 1:46:40 AMTwitter Web Client
John Porpora, casually making me piss my pants with laughter on a Saturday morning. Saturday, August 16, 2014 10:13:29 AMTwitter for Android
"I wouldn't piss down his throat if his heart was on fire" @XtinaSchelin Wednesday, June 18, 2014 6:35:27 PMTwitter for Android
My shoes smell like piss. And by piss, I don't mean urine Wednesday, April 09, 2014 3:36:05 PMTwitter for Android
Bartenders story about playing the bongos on a chicks ass completely blackout almost made me piss myself Saturday, January 25, 2014 7:23:57 PMTwitter for Android
This old bitch smells like crusted piss Thursday, January 09, 2014 8:51:59 AMTwitter for Android
Since when does the lower lever of GCT close early. This is bullshit. Ima piss all over the train bc they suck Friday, May 31, 2013 12:12:15 AMTwitter for Android
This piss just made me have to take a dog Tuesday, April 16, 2013 9:40:11 PMTwitter for Android
This dog just made me wanna take a piss Tuesday, April 16, 2013 9:39:44 PMTwitter for Android
OK this bastard either 1) dropped dead on the shitter or 2) is avoiding the fare. Fuck you. I'll piss on you. Tuesday, April 09, 2013 10:59:06 PMTwitter for Android
To whoever is taking a shit in the Metro North bathroom: I gotta piss, bastard. Get the fuck out. I'm more important than you. Tuesday, April 09, 2013 10:31:24 PMTwitter for Android
Okay.... What are two bastards taking shits... I need to piss bastards Thursday, March 28, 2013 9:01:54 PMTwitter for Android
It must be easier to piss out a little rock than to drop a 9 pound human out of your box. Friday, March 08, 2013 8:11:04 PMTwitter for Android
My piss is so clear, I bet if you analyze it, it would be less polluted than the water supply in Bangledesh. Monday, March 04, 2013 4:14:16 PMTwitter Web Client
Welp no wonder everyone says this bitch smells. She's eating 500 sprigs of asparagus... Piss could probably wake the dead. Monday, March 04, 2013 12:57:18 PMTwitter Web Client
"BURN IT ALL DOWN AND PISS ON THE ASHES" - Xtina Wednesday, January 30, 2013 10:54:24 AMTwitter Web Client
If you smell like piss-soaked, cheesy ballsack with shit on top, please refrain from using the subway. People like this should be killed.Thx Friday, November 30, 2012 9:30:54 AMTwitter Web Client
Derick, regarding the new pumpkin beer: "If a pumpkin took a piss, that's what it would taste like" Friday, October 19, 2012 9:59:34 AMTwitter Web Client
gotta piss as bad as I did back at Preakness Thursday, September 06, 2012 10:14:20 PMTwitter for Android
This train is rocking back and forth like a motherfucker and I really have to piss Thursday, September 06, 2012 9:58:51 PMTwitter for Android
My piss smells like a gin bucket Sunday, August 12, 2012 11:35:43 AMTwitter for Android
HOLD THE PHONE... the grape doesn't have a fucking trough anymore to piss in? There are urinals now? They've gone soft. Saturday, August 11, 2012 11:33:32 PMTwitter for Android
DLK is killing me with his analogy: "The keg's trying to piss out a kidney stone right now, except that kidney stone is made of yeast." Thursday, July 12, 2012 5:38:44 PMTwitter Web Client
Just took a gourmet piss. Smelled like butternut squash soup. #fancy #TMI? Thursday, June 07, 2012 11:11:19 AMTwitter Web Client
Pretty sure I'm here just so Simmons can take a piss (@ MaGerks Pub & Grill w/ 7 others) http://4sq.com/LpCUw0 Sunday, May 27, 2012 1:08:28 AMfoursquare
Calling myself out on the tweet earlier where I used the wrong you're. Blame the fact that I had to piss and auto correct. Wednesday, May 02, 2012 11:56:12 PMTwitter for Android
That time you have to piss so badly and a dude gets up from a table as you're walking to the bathroom and gets ahead of you... bs Wednesday, May 02, 2012 8:04:49 PMTwitter for Android
Welp. Just took a piss in the women's room because there are no chicks here and the guy's room is too far. Cleaning lady called me out. HHHH Friday, April 20, 2012 9:10:18 PMTwitter Web Client
@scoopANDslam Those stupid ass bronx stops where like 2 doors open piss me off. It's NYC. You don't need Metro North. Take a subway instead
In reply to @scoopANDslam's tweet
Tuesday, December 13, 2011 5:59:58 PMTwitter Web Client
this is the best bush to piss in! Sunday, November 13, 2011 12:34:52 AMtxt
How the fuck did my pants get wet? I didn't just piss myself, did I? Wednesday, October 26, 2011 3:00:12 PMTwitter Web Client
Nothing like a nice meeting with a VP after getting back from the bar. Fuck. Gotta piss Wednesday, October 12, 2011 5:03:18 PMTwitter for Android
The mmoser guys next door take forever to piss. Gtfo this bathroom. Wednesday, October 05, 2011 6:55:58 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 I always say "youve gotta be fuckin kidding me" way too loudly in public places. Things piss me off
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Thursday, July 21, 2011 9:09:50 PMTwitter for Android
Did I just piss out a fly? I legit just took a piss and a fly appeared out of nowhere. wtf.. Wednesday, July 13, 2011 10:51:51 PMTwitter for Android
WOW DVDs piss me the fuck off. I dont have time to wait like 2 minutes for a God Damn menu animation... Let me just play the fucking movie. Sunday, July 10, 2011 9:59:15 PMTwitter Web Client
this bar's good. Whenever u go to take a piss and there's no one in there... Win. Thursday, December 30, 2010 11:20:04 PMTwitter for Android
I have to piss so fucking badly and some asshole took a shit with the only bathroom key, fml. Tuesday, December 07, 2010 2:24:40 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: People on the Train Piss Me Off http://bit.ly/bhtNdg Tuesday, November 16, 2010 9:16:19 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
God damn fucking shit piss booger ball sucking fucking cocksucking bitch ass cunt tits penis twat cum guzzling rapist whore slut Saturday, November 06, 2010 3:27:50 AMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: The 6 Train is Really Starting to Piss me off Lately http://bit.ly/bK8uZI Monday, October 18, 2010 7:38:27 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
I wish these subway stations didn't smell like piss Thursday, October 14, 2010 7:14:06 PMTwitter for Android
I am going to take a piss in the AH dirt pit before I leave work this week. Cross that off the bucket list. Wednesday, August 25, 2010 7:07:13 PMTwitter Web Client
Will you fucking little shits shut the fuck up?: OMG kids piss me off so much. Thursday, August 12, 2010 11:56:22 AMTwitter Web Client
Ewwwww my fucking shoelace was just in a puddle of piss Monday, May 24, 2010 1:22:10 AMtwidroid
Worst piss I ever had to take in my life... like borderline kidney failure... Saturday, May 15, 2010 12:23:42 PMtwidroid
TC: "I have to piss like Patty Oprada" Saturday, May 15, 2010 11:51:47 AMtwidroid
Btw money will nevwr make u happy.I have money to piss away and you don't see me fuckin cheerful. I'm god damn miserable so who gives a fuck Sunday, May 09, 2010 2:29:34 AMDELETED
Mmm coronas... delicious mexican piss. Happy cinco, bitches Wednesday, May 05, 2010 8:05:06 PMtwidroid
Life likes to torture me by putting things that piss me off RIGHT IN MY FUCKING FACE 24/7 Thursday, April 29, 2010 2:08:20 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Chan Ho Park Just Made Me Piss My Pants http://blog.portfolioso.com/2010/04/12/chan-ho-park-just-made-me-piss-my-pants/ Monday, April 12, 2010 3:25:52 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
My dad: "pretty soon you're going to be able to piss on your Droid and there will be an app that does a DNA analysis of it" Thursday, December 24, 2009 7:41:03 PMtwidroid
drank a lot before this mtg. gt piss like a race horse Friday, November 13, 2009 3:44:21 PMtxt
how come every time i go take a piss in the bcc, some random mother fucker also goes in. jeez, it makes me look like I follow people Wednesday, October 14, 2009 7:55:35 PMtxt
Simmoms: "Joe just because you call no homo doesn'nt mean you can piss right near tom" Sunday, September 20, 2009 12:51:40 AMtxt
The Yankees are really starting to piss me off. Way to drop 3 games in the standings in 3 days. Jorge, don't tag people with an empty glove. Sunday, August 02, 2009 2:21:57 AMtwhirl
1:30AM topic of discussion: Piss pots, pissing in cars and vomit bags Tuesday, April 07, 2009 10:25:35 AMTwitter Web Client
Is it bad if my piss smells like beer? (I apologize to you ppl who stalk my Twitter.. TMI) Sunday, July 06, 2008 12:12:41 PMtwhirl