Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit



3716 results for fuck


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Tweet Date Source
New blog post: You Know What's An Utter Shitpile? Fucking Firefox http://t.co/eXlksmjkgu Friday, April 05, 2013 1:12:16 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
Admission is free. Admission requires a pass. There is a $2 processing fee per pass. Fucking scam. Friday, April 05, 2013 12:49:29 AMTwitter Web Client
Gabe. Shut the fuck up about file systems Thursday, April 04, 2013 9:06:59 AMTwitter Web Client
Niraj. Go fuck yourself Tuesday, April 02, 2013 2:17:38 PMTwitter for Android
You know how many fucking tourists stop to look at this sidewalk clock by my office and get in my way? http://t.co/uvVyoJLJFl Monday, April 01, 2013 11:28:54 PMfeedly cloud
Fuck the following: Metro North, Grand Central, people, tourists, people who bring bikes on the subway @ rush hour and crowds Monday, April 01, 2013 6:42:34 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck off cunt. Girls a biddy Saturday, March 30, 2013 6:45:14 PMTwitter for Android
If you come up to my desk and say "config file" expect me to know what the fuck you're talking about Friday, March 29, 2013 4:07:34 PMTwitter Web Client
Tell that motherfucker he sucks, then take your dick out. Thursday, March 28, 2013 8:25:39 PMTwitter for Android
This is a real frumpy motherfucker behind me. Accidentally stepped on her foot and she flipped out. eatadick.info Thursday, March 28, 2013 7:50:57 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking run down from Booker and getting sick. Not pleased. Thursday, March 28, 2013 4:08:55 PMTwitter Web Client
♪ Payback's a motherfuckin bitch but I won't stress and I won't switch ♪ Monday, March 25, 2013 5:25:48 PMTwitter Web Client
10 hours before rollout, our Director of software engineering wanted to know if there was a release tonight. For fuck's sake. Monday, March 25, 2013 1:50:01 PMTwitter Web Client
This Pete Ellis 80s used car commercial is cracking me the fuck up: http://t.co/NWWaOdAUSf Monday, March 25, 2013 1:26:06 PMTwitter Web Client
MICHELLE. fuck you and your shitty ass spring theme Friday, March 22, 2013 4:13:51 PMTwitter Web Client
@ky9 Fucking people... I sometimes have the urge to shake a bitch.
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 3:08:25 PMTwitter Web Client
Not including this tweet, I said fuck 8 out of the last 10 tweets. Need to get my life together. Wednesday, March 20, 2013 10:26:08 AMTwitter Web Client
Fucking foul this morning. Wednesday, March 20, 2013 10:24:53 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuck this fuckin place. I'm not getting bent out of shape. Everyone is an incompetent bitch? I'll just not do anything today. I won't fight. Wednesday, March 20, 2013 9:48:27 AMTwitter Web Client
I can't take this fucking commute anymore. Wednesday, March 20, 2013 9:10:58 AMTwitter for Android
Eric you fucking moron. Read your motherless email before asking me about things I already explained. Fuckin hack. Wednesday, March 20, 2013 8:20:17 AMTwitter for Android
Just realized I have zero patience with how motherfuckers walk in crowds. Seriously? Stop short and turn around in my face? Die ya dickhead Tuesday, March 19, 2013 7:04:54 PMTwitter for Android
Also, it would help for this train to not feel like I'm riding a fucking jackhammer Tuesday, March 19, 2013 6:58:53 PMTwitter for Android
I fucking had enough of my phone. Maybe it should pick up some internet some time Tuesday, March 19, 2013 6:58:03 PMTwitter for Android
FIX. THE. MOTHER. FUCKING. BUILDS. Nothing fucking compiles up in this bitch Tuesday, March 19, 2013 1:37:57 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Fuck Google And It's Bitch Ass Reader http://t.co/7J26hwl702 Tuesday, March 19, 2013 3:37:48 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
Mark Texiera's vagina injury is worse than expected? Fucking guy... Monday, March 18, 2013 9:32:33 PMTwitter Web Client
In case anyone was wondering how a 2000 Chevy Impala handles with < 1/2" of snow on the ground: Horse shit. Slipping fuckin everywhere Monday, March 18, 2013 8:50:15 PMTwitter Web Client
Fucking Google sucks balls lately Monday, March 18, 2013 4:30:47 PMTwitter Web Client
Niraj is a fucking dumbass Monday, March 18, 2013 11:37:01 AMTwitter Web Client
So basically I just learned that if a chick is biting her lip she's actually thinking how hard he wants to fuck you Saturday, March 16, 2013 2:41:23 PMTwitter for Android
Please explain why HR put a no smoking sign on the wall behind me. Who in the actual fuck smokes in the office. Jeez Friday, March 15, 2013 5:56:55 PMTwitter Web Client
Primary HDD failure in my laptop. Fucking son of a bitch. $120 SSD lasted 3 months. No data loss though. My files are redundant as fuck Friday, March 15, 2013 1:19:10 AMTwitter for Android
On this bitch ass train for an hour and didn't even make it 20 miles north of NYC. Fucking MTA Thursday, March 14, 2013 10:27:06 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking MTA. Train us actually going backwards now Thursday, March 14, 2013 9:48:44 PMTwitter for Android
"Finding a good bad name is the hardest thing ever. I mean, Foo Fighters is the stupidest fuckin name ever." -DAVE Thursday, March 14, 2013 12:23:01 PMTwitter Web Client
Fucking joke. Nice to know our system crashes because our custom error handler threw an exception. Yo dawg. I heard you like errors. Wednesday, March 13, 2013 7:03:56 PMTwitter for Android
Ma. Fucking don't call me at work and talk about stupid bullshit. I'm concentrating on this script. I already crashed production yesterday. Wednesday, March 13, 2013 5:45:12 PMTwitter Web Client
Lol no idea how I'm getting to work. All trains are fucked. Got out and started walking. Yeah exercise! Wednesday, March 13, 2013 8:51:56 AMTwitter for Android
ANOTHER PERSON 1) Buy noise canceling Mics 2) Get me my own office and 3)eatadick.com Fuck this place, working from home tomorrow Tuesday, March 12, 2013 5:46:53 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuck you, jeans. No one tells me to shut up. Tuesday, March 12, 2013 5:38:31 PMTwitter Web Client
Phewwww. That was a fucking close one... Protip: Careful when doing Windows Updates on production servers Tuesday, March 12, 2013 9:55:24 AMTwitter Web Client
4/5 is running like absolute horse shit today. Fuckin waste Tuesday, March 12, 2013 9:09:10 AMTwitter for Android
So let's say I tweet some shit... I moved servers. Did I fuck up my twitter app? Tuesday, March 12, 2013 6:01:48 AMTwitter Web Client
import this tweet with the correct time, fuckers Tuesday, March 12, 2013 3:53:44 AMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Has Brian Cashman Lost His Fucking Mind? http://bit.ly/16nd5qk Monday, March 11, 2013 7:59:13 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
Just yelled at a fuckin cop for standing there like an asshole in my way while I was trying to get my train Monday, March 11, 2013 6:40:01 PMTwitter for Android
Nice to know that the fucking script I've been working on all day only works locally and not on the build server. #fuckoffbastards Monday, March 11, 2013 5:55:14 PMTwitter Web Client
MTA ALERTS: I don't give a flying fuck that the escalators in Grand Central North are out of service, cunt muscle. Stop emailing me 46 times Monday, March 11, 2013 4:05:52 PMTwitter Web Client
4 and 5 trains: Stop sending me email alerts you bastards. I know you break down nonstop but look at tall the fucks I don't give Monday, March 11, 2013 11:12:31 AMTwitter Web Client
TIL MSFT licensing is fucking bullshit. Besides your Win OS licensing, you need per user licenses to access a server? http://t.co/6848Xhb8V4 Monday, March 11, 2013 9:56:56 AMTwitter Web Client
Gabe shut the fuck up. It's too early for your pie hole Monday, March 11, 2013 9:16:27 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin shepherds pie, pot roast doritos and beef sticks. Nom Saturday, March 09, 2013 9:42:16 PMTwitter for Android
Nacho Slim Jims are fucking bossssss Saturday, March 09, 2013 9:40:44 PMTwitter for Android
How the fuck did the lighter get in my pants? Saturday, March 09, 2013 2:02:22 AMTwitter for Android
Just fixed a tech support case in about 5 minutes that out idiotic tech support reps didn't look at for 2 weeks. Fuckin slackers. Friday, March 08, 2013 9:31:12 PMTwitter for Android
Tun Tun. Stop scheduling meetings with me. I don't give a fuck about your scripts. Friday, March 08, 2013 4:57:49 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus fucking Christ, James. Go take a mother fucking English class. We hire these stupid fucks? http://t.co/G85KbD0vpF Friday, March 08, 2013 9:11:20 AMTwitter Web Client
Mark Texieria is a pussy assed bitch who's always injured and a huge flop of a contract. Fuckin waste of life hitting .260 Thursday, March 07, 2013 8:44:47 PMTwitter Web Client
Jesus Fucking Christ, George. Will you turn off the fucking heat on this train? Its probably 86 in here, not exaggerating Thursday, March 07, 2013 7:48:21 PMTwitter for Android
My elbow is fuckin weird, dude. Wednesday, March 06, 2013 10:50:22 PMTwitter for Android
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. A C02 tank just exploded in the office. Wednesday, March 06, 2013 3:17:06 PMTwitter Web Client
Get a load of this fuckin amateur hour train operator who drove past the fucking platform Wednesday, March 06, 2013 1:46:24 PMTwitter for Android
Why the fuck am I still awake Wednesday, March 06, 2013 3:35:32 AMTwitter Web Client
Gave out outdated fucking old branded business cards because fucking pockets in my hood assed marketing dept is too Jew to give new ones out Wednesday, March 06, 2013 12:38:18 AMTwitter for Android
@kerbear88 @ky9 fucking FUSA dropping the ball again with no name assed concerts. Mirror > FUSA. (Well the Mirror we ran. New mirror sucks.)
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Wednesday, March 06, 2013 12:38:10 AMTwitter for Android
Gotta stop reading work emails when I get up because I want to fucking murder the entire infrastructure team. Except Kevin. He's coo Tuesday, March 05, 2013 8:05:40 AMTwitter for Android
@Lennon @MalJNew Lennon, don't demo the API. That shit crashes every 38 fucking seconds.
In reply to @Lennon's tweet
Monday, March 04, 2013 11:24:16 PMTwitter Web Client
For fucks sake. The second time in two weeks our entire fucking app crashed while I was at lunch. Monday, March 04, 2013 3:51:57 PMTwitter Web Client
That time you go to the bar and every fucking person leaves you. I look so cool here alone. #eatadick Saturday, March 02, 2013 2:32:06 AMTwitter for Android
When I have my millions I'm fuckin buying the watering hole. And I might open a gay bar in Astoria. They need one. It would make bank. Saturday, March 02, 2013 1:06:44 AMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew just caught me looking at myself in the mirror. I mean. I'm fuckin hot. And a narcissist. #blowme if you don't like it Saturday, March 02, 2013 12:38:06 AMTwitter for Android
That fuckin Cuban food is already going through me like shit through a goose. Friday, March 01, 2013 5:52:10 PMTwitter for Android
That fuckin Cuban food is already going through me like shit through a goose. Friday, March 01, 2013 4:34:21 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm actually in awe at how fucking bad Manhattan is still destroyed by Sandy. I'm by the seaport. Place is fucked. Had no clue Wednesday, February 27, 2013 9:56:25 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin hicks: http://t.co/c8IxL0w3VE I didn't know they had internet in West Virginia. Tuesday, February 26, 2013 5:13:28 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin @newrelic... Took me fuckin 2 hours to get our .NET ,onitoring back up Tuesday, February 26, 2013 7:12:15 AMTwitter Web Client
*Seth not set. For fucks sake I'm a little fucked up Sunday, February 24, 2013 8:40:04 PMTwitter for Android
I love how set MacFarlane doesn't give a fuck. Sunday, February 24, 2013 8:39:16 PMTwitter for Android
What the fuck. Is this shit? http://t.co/QMj836SeKD Friday, February 22, 2013 3:58:16 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin Gmail. When I click Save on the Settings page, do NOT redirect me to my inbox. What if I want to change more settings? Asshats Friday, February 22, 2013 1:23:04 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuck the California office and the Harlem Shake. It's old bro. They dont do jack shit out there. Shawn is also a smug bitch. Thursday, February 21, 2013 2:29:48 PMTwitter Web Client
This sums up where the fuck I work: http://t.co/vphfsPF Tuesday, February 19, 2013 9:04:43 PMTwitter Web Client
And the tamagotchi in my app just died. The fuck. I kept it happy and fed Tuesday, February 19, 2013 8:59:10 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuck this place. Instant eye twitch from these bastards. Tuesday, February 19, 2013 11:34:01 AMTwitter Web Client
I walk into this fuckin shithole and found out that no one followed any procedures. And it's all up to me to fix. Fuckers Tuesday, February 19, 2013 11:33:48 AMTwitter Web Client
Hwy bitch. Can you fuckin like... Watch your kid and have him walk next to you and not in my path. Because I will boot him Monday, February 18, 2013 1:58:57 PMTwitter for Android
Okay.. This dude is like drying his balls on the hand dryer in this bathroom. The fuck... Friday, February 15, 2013 11:17:38 PMTwitter for Android
SHIT they put on Sirius/XM Lithium? Fuckin 90s jams. RATM and fuckin Nirvana. shit Friday, February 15, 2013 10:00:24 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin... The offspring is on here bitches #90s Friday, February 15, 2013 9:15:01 PMTwitter for Android
Where the fuck is my dev team? And I was the one out being cray last night. Why am I the only one here? Thursday, February 14, 2013 9:10:43 AMTwitter Web Client
Gio on Kwabi: "This guy's a fuckin bobblehead" Wednesday, February 13, 2013 9:43:31 PMTwitter for Android
Me: "Jameson? Fuck. Can I do a pickleback because I'm a pussy?" Gio: "No" Me: "okay" Wednesday, February 13, 2013 9:11:25 PMTwitter for Android
Whoever picked this place is a fuckin asshole Wednesday, February 13, 2013 6:59:42 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin Marketing department (everyone except Molly) being a bunch of assholes not listening to anything I say when I obvi know best. Suffer Wednesday, February 13, 2013 3:22:28 PMTwitter Web Client
This fucking phone drops internet like I drop shits: way too fucking much. Wednesday, February 13, 2013 8:14:19 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck Metro North and their delayed ass trains. 2/2 in delays on the 6:36. Fuck this train. Not taking it for the rest of the week Tuesday, February 12, 2013 7:07:55 PMTwitter for Android
Xtina: "If they come over here and don't appreciate our language, they can go fuck themselves" Tuesday, February 12, 2013 3:47:14 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin a. Look at him. Like he's hot. And awesome Sunday, February 10, 2013 9:20:44 PMTwitter for Android
Omg Dave Mothefuckin Grohl. Bang Sunday, February 10, 2013 9:20:08 PMTwitter for Android
That's bullshit. What about all my crackers from Gun Hill Rd... Place is hood as fuck. Sunday, February 10, 2013 9:14:47 PMTwitter for Android
"I fucked ya teeth last night. Deal with it." Thursday, February 07, 2013 11:03:16 PMTwitter for Android
'bout fuckin time we're about to get some snow up in this bitch Thursday, February 07, 2013 5:10:37 PMTwitter Web Client
Will all you motherfuckers let me concentrate on just one task. It's been a nonstop parade of people here. Wednesday, February 06, 2013 10:06:49 AMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: The Yankees are So Fucked in 2013, It's Not Even Funny http://t.co/dVGVuTu Wednesday, February 06, 2013 2:38:16 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
For fuck's sake. I went to resize a cloud server and took out all of our mobile apps... Fucking RackSpace Cloud Wednesday, February 06, 2013 1:27:02 AMTwitter Web Client
MTA: The heat on your shit box trains. Turn it the fuck off. I shouldn't be soaked sweating in February Tuesday, February 05, 2013 7:05:29 PMTwitter for Android
Deat MTA alerts. I could give a fuck that your traintime app is down. Stop emailing me every 5 minutes and actually fix it. Wastes Tuesday, February 05, 2013 9:51:56 AMTwitter Web Client
How you know I'm a fat fuck: I just snapped a metal wheel in two on my rolling chair because I was leaning in one direction on it. Tuesday, February 05, 2013 1:48:31 AMTwitter Web Client
@kerbear88 Fuck those trains. Jammed like crazy this morning and all delayed. If you rely on the 4/5/6 trains, you made poor life decisions.
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Monday, February 04, 2013 10:00:11 AMTwitter Web Client
Yo Jeep... Fuck a war Sunday, February 03, 2013 8:24:50 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin advil wore off. Hangover #2...I need water and better medicine. Like the good kind if you know what I mean Sunday, February 03, 2013 9:36:59 AMTwitter for Android
I don't know who this obnoxious fat fuck of Mikey's friend is but she can go fuck herself because she's rude Saturday, February 02, 2013 6:21:15 PMTwitter for Android
I'm wearing a T-shirt, sweatpants and dress shoes. The fuck... Wednesday, January 30, 2013 10:22:06 PMTwitter for Android
I'm too fucking good for this place. die. Wednesday, January 30, 2013 5:14:11 PMTwitter Web Client
Now I have to sit here and restart servers like a fucking dickhead until some user stops abusing the API Wednesday, January 30, 2013 1:22:19 PMTwitter Web Client
PRO. FUCKING. TIP: IF YOUR APP HAS AN API, RATE LIMIT IT YOU CUNTS SO PARTNERS DON'T CRASH THE SYSTEM EVERY 2.5 MINUTES Fuckin amatuer hour Wednesday, January 30, 2013 1:21:29 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: You've Gotta Be Fucking Kidding Me... Stairway Drills? http://bit.ly/Wfgsvx Wednesday, January 30, 2013 9:45:19 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
Fuck. Yes : http://t.co/jxBzWNT (PS - I'm HUGE) Wednesday, January 30, 2013 2:52:37 AMTwitter Web Client
Fucking out of it... Just told the devs I don't pay attention to our chief system architect. Tuesday, January 29, 2013 9:08:54 AMTwitter Web Client
"At 6:30 let's fuck this place up" -Yuri Saturday, January 26, 2013 2:27:59 PMTwitter for Android
Like seriously Mals. Put those away before I titty fuck you at the bar Thursday, January 24, 2013 9:18:53 PMTwitter for Android
Aniusha:"all that mother fucker does is get his dick squeezed by his bralic girlfriend" Thursday, January 24, 2013 8:12:16 PMTwitter for Android
Gonna get drunk and tweet like a motherfucker tonight Thursday, January 24, 2013 8:05:00 PMTwitter for Android
Seasick on the Metro North again on the grounds that the new M8 cars rock back and forth like motherfuckers. Ass backwards engineering. Monday, January 21, 2013 6:42:06 PMTwitter for Android
You think I'd get a fucking "thanks" for moving all that data over the weekend for these biddies Monday, January 21, 2013 10:19:59 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin construction everywhere. Fuckin bums. Fuckin inferior transit. Fuck NYC. Fuckin shithole Sunday, January 20, 2013 1:38:04 PMTwitter for Android
Tuck your stomach in you fucking slob. It looks like a fuckin ass crack Sunday, January 20, 2013 1:37:15 PMTwitter for Android
There's too many fuckin bums in this city ever since Giulianni left and stopped having them killed. Sunday, January 20, 2013 1:36:21 PMTwitter for Android
You think the mother fucking MTA would rope off the fuckin areas where trains aren't running so I don't wait like a jackoff for 10 mins Sunday, January 20, 2013 1:32:45 PMTwitter for Android
although work ended at 6 so fucking whatever i do now is extra and doesnt count Friday, January 18, 2013 7:12:18 PMTwitter Web Client
someone wanna queue up the lightning for tomorrow. fuckers Friday, January 18, 2013 6:33:59 PMTwitter Web Client
Fucks given that QA is down: Less than 0 Friday, January 18, 2013 6:25:31 PMTwitter Web Client
Too drunk for this fucking build and release shit Friday, January 18, 2013 5:49:40 PMTwitter Web Client
pretty sure they poured a couple of bottles of grain into this keg. It's strong as fuck Friday, January 18, 2013 5:09:35 PMTwitter Web Client
This beer's going the fuck down smooth Friday, January 18, 2013 2:36:57 PMTwitter for Android
I dare you to motivate me to work today. Will be reading barstool until youse fuckers realize how much of a big deal I am. Friday, January 18, 2013 12:37:19 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin Ukraine.. It's Friday night already for them! Friday, January 18, 2013 12:14:31 PMTwitter Web Client
Great. IT guy would decide to fuck around with wires under my desk after I ripped ass. Tuesday, January 15, 2013 9:11:45 AMTwitter Web Client
FUCK I just broke a compact fluorescent in my room. There's mercury in that shit Tuesday, January 15, 2013 12:04:34 AMTwitter for Android
Give me a reason to care. Fuckers. Monday, January 14, 2013 11:41:46 PMTwitter for Android
Samuel. I'm not trying anymore cuz you fuckers have me for free son Monday, January 14, 2013 11:39:53 PMTwitter for Android
Im not even from dirty jerz but fuck. He's a dood to cheers to. Love him or hate him. Democrat or Republican. he's so fat it doesn't matter. Monday, January 14, 2013 11:32:53 PMTwitter for Android
Spent my entire night cheersing to that fat fuck. Monday, January 14, 2013 11:30:35 PMTwitter for Android
90s Alternative Pandora is my fucking jam #sundayfunday Sunday, January 13, 2013 6:24:23 PMTwitter for Android
The mom told me to shut the fuck up and raised the TV volume because I was talking during Access Hollywood. Deading her until Tuesday. Saturday, January 12, 2013 7:51:36 PMTwitter for Android
Sourceforge pisses me the fuck off. It's impossible to dl stuff from there, obnioxious adds / dl waits. Github is so much easier. Thursday, January 10, 2013 3:38:45 PMTwitter Web Client
Who's this motherfucker with this loud assed car driving up and down my block a million and one times? Bro. get a muffler. Thursday, January 10, 2013 12:37:09 AMTwitter Web Client
VP of marketing is a fucking joke breath. He BCC'd an entire mailing list and we all know who is on that mailing list. idiot. Wednesday, January 09, 2013 2:04:50 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm walking the fuck out of this fucking place at 2pm on the grounds that they all can go fuck themselves Wednesday, January 09, 2013 11:13:37 AMTwitter Web Client
RT @Lennon: Can we just smoke weed and drink Jameson? Then fuck? Then cuddle and order pizza? http://t.co/RlTZlLnW via @someecards Tuesday, January 08, 2013 7:53:32 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin tiger today, this one. Dayummmmm Tuesday, January 08, 2013 9:53:52 AMTwitter Web Client
Don't they have fucking signals or some shit? They have to call a guy for permission to move the fucking train? Jesus Christ on the cross. Monday, January 07, 2013 8:09:30 AMTwitter for Android
Train is stopped waiting for some fucking fat lazy overpaid MTA bastard to answer his funcking radio Monday, January 07, 2013 8:08:20 AMTwitter for Android
Yo. All my single dudes. Molly is fuckin bangin hot right now. Get it. PS - Happy birthday Molly! Saturday, January 05, 2013 11:57:58 PMTwitter for Android
Whoever has the weeds at suspenders. Fuckin a man Friday, January 04, 2013 7:59:15 PMTwitter for Android
This fuckin crone showed up Friday, January 04, 2013 7:34:39 PMTwitter for Android
This delivery dude is a fuckin amateur hour Friday, January 04, 2013 1:26:18 PMTwitter Web Client
Tell this cunt to get out of my seat once I get back to my desk. Complete disregard. Fucking tk. Friday, January 04, 2013 12:48:30 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin A man... We basically just got DDoS'd Thursday, January 03, 2013 2:12:05 PMTwitter Web Client
"You just got here?" "No James, I'm standing here with my coat on for the shit of it" Ya fuckin dumb Thursday, January 03, 2013 9:07:59 AMTwitter Web Client
Fergie is also hammered and eye fucking the camera Monday, December 31, 2012 9:48:27 PMTwitter for Android
Fergie is all fucked up on something Monday, December 31, 2012 9:06:13 PMTwitter for Android
yes. I'm getting a 30 @MalJNew . not a six pack. The fuck have you gone soft? Sunday, December 30, 2012 6:13:04 PMTwitter for Android
This is the slowest fuckin deli guy ever. Sunday, December 30, 2012 1:43:02 PMTwitter for Android
Omg. I want to sleep on this train and I have a loud fuckin guy babbling on español. Cállate la boca ya fuckin clown Sunday, December 30, 2012 8:19:36 AMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew Get away from my man. Only I van fuck him sideways up down left and right. Not you
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Saturday, December 29, 2012 1:38:03 AMTwitter for Android
Just sexted @colithika: "Throw mother fuckin back. Pussy hot sluts bang bang skeet skeet" Saturday, December 29, 2012 1:37:21 AMTwitter for Android
This is the hoodest mother fuckin McDonalds I've ever been to. Never feared for my life more. Saturday, December 29, 2012 12:54:54 AMTwitter for Android
Just puked at Rudy's from fuckin tequila all over the toilet seat. Peed it off to clean it. Winning Friday, December 28, 2012 11:44:31 PMTwitter for Android
Who the fuck kicked our keg in this office? Friday, December 28, 2012 6:38:35 PMTwitter Web Client
TK shut the fuck up Friday, December 28, 2012 1:26:46 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin TK is back? Well this sucks balls. So good in her absence Friday, December 28, 2012 9:00:36 AMTwitter Web Client
Fat fuck.. Why'd I go to fuckin McDonalds. drunk motherfucker Friday, December 28, 2012 2:07:22 AMTwitter for Android
Oh shit. I just burped McDonalds... Fuck. I went to McDonalds? Friday, December 28, 2012 2:06:47 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck offfffffff I'm the happiest son Friday, December 28, 2012 1:27:55 AMTwitter for Android
This dude needs some mother fuckin chicken nuggets son Thursday, December 27, 2012 11:09:07 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin sausage fest I'm at. How the fuck is the guys pisser line like 4x longer than the womens Thursday, December 27, 2012 9:10:51 PMTwitter for Android
Will the motherfuckin subway alert system stop sending me email on how the 4/5 trains suck a dick and break down. I get it. Stop spamming me Thursday, December 27, 2012 4:55:03 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin A. Casino is on? That's it. Grabbing a beer and kickin it for the rest of the workday Thursday, December 27, 2012 2:16:21 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck did I remember to flush the toilet or did I leave a present? gotta go check now. There's like 3 guys working today. They'll catch on Thursday, December 27, 2012 11:51:11 AMTwitter Web Client
All you fuckers know I'm the absolute shit, right? | Shit | (get it?) Thursday, December 27, 2012 11:42:47 AMTwitter Web Client
The Yankees are a fucking joke team this season Sunday, December 23, 2012 1:17:02 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: Fuck a War http://bit.ly/103LRDm Saturday, December 22, 2012 1:16:25 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
I still promise my twitter will remain crazy as fuck. People like that shit. #ass #titties #bangbang #struttin #unicorns Saturday, December 22, 2012 12:06:37 AMTwitter for Android
What the fuck is going on. Am I recovering from my past crazy alcoholic ways? Only had 2 drinks all night and had fun anyway Saturday, December 22, 2012 12:01:16 AMTwitter for Android
Gio: "Holy shit. Her ass is too low. How do you fuck that?" Friday, December 21, 2012 9:19:08 PMTwitter for Android
Think I have a little stomach bug. Ripped ass at desk. Fucking vile. I'm going home. Thursday, December 20, 2012 11:14:12 AMTwitter Web Client
There's my two week notice right there. Next week I'm here. The week after is the rest of my vacation days. Fuckin enjoyyyyyyyyyyy Wednesday, December 19, 2012 4:30:59 PMTwitter Web Client
Yeah just raise all the fuckin shit. Make it $600, I don't give a fuck #MTA Wednesday, December 19, 2012 12:29:10 PMTwitter Web Client
Why is it that cat people are fucking obsessed about their cats and taking in strays and talking about them nonstop. Fuck cats. #dogsson Wednesday, December 19, 2012 10:16:44 AMTwitter Web Client
About time these POlice write mother fuckin tickets for these homeless wastes Tuesday, December 18, 2012 9:17:19 PMTwitter for Android
Niraj: "Just shut it down. It's a complete fuckin waste of hundreds of thousands of dollars" Tuesday, December 18, 2012 9:31:52 AMTwitter Web Client
LEA.... GET THE FUCK OFF MY GOD DAMN DICK Monday, December 17, 2012 10:06:36 AMTwitter Web Client
God damn it James. Stop interrogating me about the Christmas party. Fucking enough. Monday, December 17, 2012 9:15:48 AMTwitter Web Client
Nope, nevermind. All good. All works. Because I'm a fucking boss, sons Sunday, December 16, 2012 11:43:32 PMTwitter Web Client
fuck. what did i break Sunday, December 16, 2012 11:42:11 PMTwitter Web Client
Hardly drank yet. Went over to Alexey and Niraj and took 3 shots. Fuckin A Friday, December 14, 2012 7:18:06 PMTwitter for Android
Motherfuckin CHRISTMAS party... You happy now, @RockNationRadio? Fuckin A, I was trying to be neutral. Friday, December 14, 2012 5:58:04 PMTwitter Web Client
Jesus fucking Christ what the fuck is wrong with people these days #Newtown Friday, December 14, 2012 2:06:03 PMTwitter Web Client
Our recruiters here suck ass. Sent me a guy to interview and I googled his name and his Google+ says "I suck at time management" FUCK OFF Thursday, December 13, 2012 1:50:43 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuck you looking at, cunt Wednesday, December 12, 2012 10:12:13 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck Williams bridge and all these piece of shit Bronx stops. Metro north should skip the Bronx. Its for better people Wednesday, December 12, 2012 9:54:33 PMTwitter for Android
Don't get chicken at mitherfuckin McDonalds because the probably slaughter it. Fuckers took 20 minutes. Wednesday, December 12, 2012 9:04:25 PMTwitter for Android
Interacting with Redis in php is easy as fuck using Predis. Even a half assed, hack brogrammer like myself can easily do it! Tuesday, December 11, 2012 1:06:21 AMTwitter Web Client
Seriously. It's like the internet decided to fucking shut off the minute I woke up and pulled out my phone. And it needed a reboot. Monday, December 10, 2012 7:01:55 PMTwitter for Android
The radios in my phone are driving me batshit on the grounds that I NEVER FUCKING HAVE INTERNET Monday, December 10, 2012 6:59:25 PMTwitter for Android
Why the fuck is this train so crowded with no seats this morning. Fuck off. I wanted to sleep Monday, December 10, 2012 8:05:41 AMTwitter for Android
Fuckin bullshit. My site was down for 3 hours because the fucking webserver doesn't start on boot. Just fixed that Sunday, December 09, 2012 3:43:38 PMTwitter Web Client
This is what working for my company does to you. Turns you into a fuckin stressed ass zombie that turns to stupid shit to get by at life. Saturday, December 08, 2012 2:02:53 AMTwitter for Android
Good, because half the time I'm all fucked up in shit, idiots. Saturday, December 08, 2012 2:01:51 AMTwitter for Android
Its okay though. My boss said he doesn't give two fucks what I do outside if work, so long as it doesn't affect work Saturday, December 08, 2012 2:00:40 AMTwitter for Android
Wow. Guess I'm pretty fucked up. I told Stephie that my grandparents hate black people tonight. That's some fucked up shit. Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:58:10 AMTwitter for Android
Fucking shitfaced you stupid mother fuckers Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:52:54 AMTwitter for Android
Someone bring me some mother fuckin weed and xanax Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:48:46 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck. Me. In the ass Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:47:16 AMTwitter for Android
This is fuckin karma. I wasn't sympathetic enough for the bitch ass who missed her stop on Tuesday Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:44:16 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck. Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:40:25 AMTwitter for Android
Fuckin dentist appointment. Would've stayed in the city. Jesus Fucking Christ Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:39:04 AMTwitter for Android
Cock sucker mother fucker Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:33:01 AMTwitter for Android
Like. I'm never back in this ducking place and one time I do I'm a drunk mother fucker Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:32:43 AMTwitter for Android
The one fucking time I decide to come back to fucking bitch ass Westchester, I sleep past my stop Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:30:34 AMTwitter for Android
Rocks in my mother fuckin head to take this dumbass drunkass train home Saturday, December 08, 2012 12:54:47 AMTwitter for Android
And I just spilled #fuckinhammeredrightnow Friday, December 07, 2012 4:24:34 PMTwitter Web Client
These fucking elevators suck a dick Thursday, December 06, 2012 1:31:47 PMTwitter for Android
Project managers can fucking suck it so hard. Thursday, December 06, 2012 9:08:43 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuck all these fucking morons. Wednesday, December 05, 2012 2:36:57 PMTwitter for Android
Get me the fuck out of this meetong Tuesday, December 04, 2012 11:46:27 AMTwitter for Android
Haven't listened to System of a Down in years. Joe P. suggested it. It's perfect "I'm fucking pissed off music" Tuesday, December 04, 2012 10:42:03 AMTwitter Web Client
Had a meeting at 10:15. Walked to Dunkins at 10:17 for a coffee. Told someone else to tell them I didn't give a fuck about their meeting Tuesday, December 04, 2012 10:26:43 AMTwitter Web Client
Moving this DB from the cloud to our internal server is a fucking pain in my ass and is gi9ving me a fuckign panic attack Tuesday, December 04, 2012 9:47:57 AMTwitter Web Client
Thanks for stating it's December in your GChat status, captain obvious dumbfuck: http://t.co/r5EilrE Monday, December 03, 2012 1:00:02 PMTwitter Web Client
This new CE manager looks like a Marine that will fuck you up. Such a hardo rockin' the military haircut Monday, December 03, 2012 10:00:23 AMTwitter Web Client
Hughlon was a boss on the subway this morning "Fuck all these people. Push your way through. You're not going to see them again" Monday, December 03, 2012 9:20:30 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuck Friday, November 30, 2012 11:51:03 PMTwitter for Android
I win fuckers Friday, November 30, 2012 10:04:38 PMTwitter for Android
Everyone's taking three fucking years at these ATMs. Fuck off bitches. Friday, November 30, 2012 1:53:13 PMTwitter for Android
Our mobile apps are fucking pieces of shit. Wednesday, November 28, 2012 5:07:39 PMTwitter Web Client
The dude operating this train is amateur as fuck. Takes forever to pull a train into the station at 2mph. Learn to spot quicker, asshat. Monday, November 26, 2012 2:50:13 PMTwitter for Android
The supper is fuckin vertical Thursday, November 22, 2012 1:37:20 AMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ. I'm like designated drink dumper on-er. I'm wetter than a fuckin pussy. Not TKs pussy. That shits sandy Thursday, November 22, 2012 12:43:14 AMTwitter for Android
Lol John Stelatte. What a fuckin joke Thursday, November 22, 2012 12:35:31 AMTwitter for Android
I mean.... I was uncool as fuck in high school. And now I'm wearing a horse shirt. Wednesday, November 21, 2012 10:27:35 PMTwitter for Android
Firefox 17 released and the only notable feature is some Facebook bs? Fuck that noise. How about the stop sucking a cock like Chrome. Wednesday, November 21, 2012 9:11:20 PMTwitter for Android
Love this place. Came in all fucked up, worked a bit, went to the bar, and am now drinking/working and fixing shit like a boss Wednesday, November 21, 2012 4:46:37 PMTwitter Web Client
Joe P. on the new logo/font "That font looks like it fuckin sucked a cock" Tuesday, November 20, 2012 2:54:41 PMTwitter Web Client
someone get me a mother fuckin xanax Tuesday, November 20, 2012 1:20:23 PMTwitter Web Client
Someone needs to put a mother fuckin bullet in this PCI auditor's head. Tuesday, November 20, 2012 1:14:48 PMTwitter Web Client
When i bust my gat, motherfuckers take dirt naps. Tuesday, November 20, 2012 10:28:02 AMTwitter Web Client
This cabbie smells like fuckin onions. Big deal. Happens Friday, November 16, 2012 9:34:34 PMTwitter for Android

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