Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit



2266 results for shit


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Tweet Date Source
Absolute horse shit meal served to me this Christmas. Ranks as one of the worst Christmas dinners in 25 years. Leftover fuckin leather veal. Thursday, December 26, 2013 10:05:45 PMTwitter for Android
Haven't done JACK SHIT yet today Thursday, December 26, 2013 9:47:53 AMTwitter Web Client
The YouTube mobile app is a piece of shit. Uploaded a video I took normally (not vertical) uploaded it on my phone, and it uploaded vertical Saturday, December 21, 2013 2:46:02 AMTwitter for Android
This emergency bullshit call is making me miss my 2PM meeting... AT THE BAR Friday, December 20, 2013 2:01:44 PMTwitter Web Client
This season of Mob Wives is out if control. Hilarious. PS - Drita's the shit Thursday, December 19, 2013 11:30:01 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: Geeky Scripting Shit http://t.co/oTJbjW5NXq Wednesday, December 18, 2013 2:02:14 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
fuck this shit. ima go play in the snow Tuesday, December 17, 2013 12:11:58 PMTwitter Web Client
Literally played Traffic Racer on the shitter for 20 minutes. #mailtime CC: @SonicBlur23 Monday, December 16, 2013 2:48:52 PMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu no because I'm leaving this shithole in a year or so and then I'll be okay
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Monday, December 16, 2013 10:34:10 AMTwitter for Android
It's bullshit that our snowstorm turned to rain. It's like 28 degrees.. Gonna be icy as a motherfucker out there... Sunday, December 15, 2013 2:16:54 AMTwitter for Android
So Kevin cleaned up all those booby traps and shit in one evening? Sunday, December 15, 2013 2:08:48 AMTwitter for Android
Awww snow on Christmas morning. I need that shit. Sunday, December 15, 2013 2:07:09 AMTwitter for Android
Santa... Your car's a piece of shit... Sunday, December 15, 2013 1:39:36 AMTwitter for Android
All those groceries were only $18.83? Shit. Bring me back to 1990 Sunday, December 15, 2013 1:27:18 AMTwitter for Android
@SonicBlur23 ya cocksucker... Thanks for showing me the Android game Traffic Racer. Now I'm gonna take 30 min shits at work instead of 24.. Saturday, December 14, 2013 9:51:25 PMTwitter for Android
need to lose weight. feel like a tub of shit Friday, December 13, 2013 4:36:14 PMTwitter Web Client
the fact that I memorized all the aspnet_regiis.exe switches demonstrates to me that I deal with too much bullshit Thursday, December 12, 2013 5:56:46 PMTwitter Web Client
Working at this company on this software combined with the shithole of Lower Manhattan and tourists... I need anger management Thursday, December 12, 2013 3:21:26 PMTwitter Web Client
Shit and corruption Monday, December 09, 2013 7:09:23 PMTwitter for Android
I can't think of an original tweet today. I just keep retweeting @BarstoolJJ 's shit because I fully agree Sunday, December 08, 2013 2:31:12 PMTwitter for Android
This shit can eat my dick: http://t.co/32JRTyJxKX So fucking convoluted Tuesday, December 03, 2013 2:24:09 PMTwitter Web Client
@MalJNew fullashit. I have a pants tent. U ever see curb?
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Sunday, December 01, 2013 5:07:52 PMTwitter for Android
I was a little sad, and then I went to take a selfie and i look fucking ridiculous with this shitty haircut and stache. Then I smiled. Saturday, November 30, 2013 12:53:37 AMTwitter for Android
The fuck gave my uncle the remote? Why is this PBS shit on instead of football? http://t.co/zPONFaXrzV Thursday, November 28, 2013 5:17:49 PMTwitter for Android
What kind of fuckin asshole picks the stall next to you in the shitter when the end one's open? (Jeans, dirty white Nikes w/ a red swoosh) Wednesday, November 27, 2013 2:39:37 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu o shit. Didn't realize this. I will now animate axelrod going to town on the ladies.
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Tuesday, November 26, 2013 7:19:28 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: The NY Mets Can't Sing for Shit http://bit.ly/18F5h5G Tuesday, November 26, 2013 3:22:00 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
Trying to debug our piece of shit API because it crashes. Enabled crash dumps. In 20 seconds, it dumped 73 gigs. Fucking piece. Place sux Monday, November 25, 2013 3:26:46 PMTwitter Web Client
Its Monday, which is the worst day of the week because I get to see that fuckin asshole McGivern at that shithole today. Monday, November 25, 2013 7:47:03 AMTwitter for Android
That's some bullshit Sunday, November 24, 2013 7:40:23 PMTwitter for Android
Last train home is soooooo funny. Haven't taken this shit in years Sunday, November 24, 2013 1:58:28 AMTwitter for Android
Fucking director of engineering... Asks for shit that can't be rolled back. I do it. Shit breaks. He freaks out. Tuesday, November 19, 2013 12:08:50 PMTwitter Web Client
Edgar's the shit Thursday, November 14, 2013 7:07:37 PMTwitter for Android
If you need me tomorrow, I'll be shitfaced at @getuncubed. You can find me undefeated at the Booker beer pong table Wednesday, November 13, 2013 7:24:26 PMTwitter for Android
This shit is tight: http://t.co/Az48j0Nzul Thursday, November 07, 2013 10:39:10 PMTwitter Web Client
We're just gonna fuckin play with this sock for 3 hours, I don't give a shit Thursday, October 31, 2013 10:10:55 PMTwitter for Android
@KFCBarstool Jesus Christ. These are my sales guys. I shit you not
In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet
Thursday, October 31, 2013 4:01:51 PMTwitter for Android
Shit if I play kings again I'm blacking out Saturday, October 26, 2013 9:46:48 PMTwitter for Android
Vote for this shit you politician assed cunts: http://t.co/nAjRSeM94d Or else my commute starts to rape me in 2014 Thursday, October 24, 2013 3:29:05 PMTwitter Web Client
When half the sales team and VPs are in Vegas getting hammered and selling our shit, and I'm here listening to this suit.... Eat a dick. Tuesday, October 22, 2013 11:03:34 AMTwitter for Android
Never have I ever taken a shit on a Metro North train (and I shit a lot) Thursday, October 17, 2013 11:05:10 PMTwitter for Android
Wait. shit this isn't funny. He's really pissed at me Thursday, October 17, 2013 9:25:59 PMTwitter for Android
no wonder everyone hates php. Some API shit I did in CURL from the shell in 30 secs took me 40 mins to port to php because it's convoluted Tuesday, October 15, 2013 2:30:08 PMTwitter Web Client
What's the over/under Gaurav shit his pants at work? Sunday, October 13, 2013 2:38:25 PMTwitter for Android
Statistics prove that Firefox is a fucking piece of shit. http://t.co/P02gIFqyPb Friday, October 11, 2013 1:47:17 PMTwitter Web Client
2 mins after I tweeted that they took off. You think I'm stupid? I know they read this shit son Wednesday, October 09, 2013 8:59:50 PMTwitter for Android
@mozilla Firefox is a piece of shit. Wednesday, October 09, 2013 2:25:18 PMTwitter Web Client
How the fuck are you supposed to get shit done when you're on meetings 90% of the day talking about stupid bullshit Monday, October 07, 2013 4:48:10 PMTwitter for Android
I'm in the mood to get shitfaced on margs tonight. Also, it's 3:30 and biddies are hittin' up the keg, so I'ma do the same son Friday, October 04, 2013 3:30:08 PMTwitter Web Client
shitshow: http://t.co/hWfnd8nR7i Friday, October 04, 2013 12:59:09 PMTwitter Web Client
The first photograph ever taken looked like shit: http://t.co/hE9YJra8PF Guy should have been ashamed of the quality.... Thursday, October 03, 2013 11:24:50 AMTwitter Web Client
I correlate the fact that I tweet much less and fewer batshit tweets to me no longer being a raging alcoholic. Monday, September 30, 2013 12:52:41 PMTwitter Web Client
This is a BULLSHIT day in NY sports. Giants choking on donkey dick and if the Yankees can't score with runners at 2nd and 3rd so CUNCEL NY Sunday, September 22, 2013 4:30:09 PMTwitter for Android
Yo Eastchester.... Cut out this siren shit at 2am.... If not like anyone's on the road... Wednesday, September 18, 2013 2:01:34 AMTwitter for Android
My GI tract can really go fuck itself the past few weeks. This is some bullshit (literally) Tuesday, September 17, 2013 8:05:47 PMTwitter Web Client
But what the fuck is this query doing? Deleting our 900GB DB character by character? Fucking shit is running all day Tuesday, September 17, 2013 5:22:48 PMTwitter Web Client
Come on. It's the docking iron horse. Anything goes here. Don't give me shit for pissing in the girls room Friday, September 13, 2013 7:43:51 PMTwitter for Android
Quote of the year, via @KFCBarstool: "Nobody really gives a shit about God and Satan. You know what people love? Fucking and Harry Potter." Wednesday, September 11, 2013 1:40:38 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @KFCBarstool: Its supposed to be 93 degrees tomorrow. Fuck that shit. I'm done with summer weather. Mother nature you fickle slut Tuesday, September 10, 2013 8:31:00 PMTwitter for Android
DBAs just added an email trigger every time there's a deadlock on production. I'm getting fucking spammed. Piece of shit system... Monday, September 09, 2013 9:11:45 AMTwitter Web Client
Yanks coulda come back for the wildcard but if they're gonna lose bullshit games to the Sox, I'm gonna re-cuncel DA saeson Friday, September 06, 2013 11:05:20 PMTwitter for Android
Edgar: "I need more white friends" #ShitNoOneSays Friday, September 06, 2013 2:41:10 PMTwitter for Android
Lower Manhattan is so ethereal at night. Fuckin crowded touristy shithole during the day. Desolate by night Wednesday, September 04, 2013 10:56:59 PMTwitter for Android
@VZWSupport @__JLu Nice bot, Verizon... Now actually fix your shit so I can auto activate phones without calling a live rep
In reply to @VZWSupport's tweet
Wednesday, September 04, 2013 3:08:34 PMTwitter Web Client
You've gotta be fucking kidding me. This piece of shit Moto X doesn't have inline mic support on the headphone jack? No square, jawbone up. Wednesday, September 04, 2013 1:54:39 AMTwitter for Android
Absolutely crippled. I pulled every possible upper body muscle doing some pole acrobatics on the R train Friday night... I'm batshit crazy Monday, September 02, 2013 12:20:32 AMTwitter for Android
Labor day weekend ruined by an understaffed, shittily coded piece of shit crashy system that I have to watch. Friday, August 30, 2013 5:02:45 PMTwitter Web Client
When Kramer hears about this, the shit's gonna hit the fan http://t.co/t9zoXW1imO Thursday, August 29, 2013 1:33:58 AMTwitter Web Client
FUCKING ampersand in this password. Escaping ampersands in bash when you need to write it out to a file is bull fucking shit Monday, August 26, 2013 1:26:50 PMTwitter Web Client
Dr. Drew should do a Candy Crush Rehab show or some shit Sunday, August 25, 2013 9:03:24 PMTwitter Web Client
Wow the LIRR is a piece of shit. How are there no seats at 10:40 Am off peak? Friday, August 23, 2013 10:39:34 AMTwitter for Android
The entire RackSpace cloud is a piece of shit. Fuck their cloud servers, fuck OpenStack, fuck their block storage, fuck it all Wednesday, August 21, 2013 5:53:18 PMTwitter Web Client
Whenever piece of shit Firefox crashes, I always troll them. These comments are public btw http://t.co/CrJuy7ewSv Wednesday, August 14, 2013 4:43:18 PMTwitter Web Client
pregaming shit is the worst. Almost peed myself you guys Saturday, August 10, 2013 1:17:19 PMTwitter for Android
Can't even take a shit here without a text from boss man asking where I am. After he wouldnt let me take lunch because out system is a piece Friday, August 09, 2013 3:05:31 PMTwitter Web Client
I want my own gig. I want to run shit. Create product. Run the infrastructure. Grow. I'm sick of being a cog in the machine Thursday, August 08, 2013 12:38:39 PMTwitter Web Client
It's really funny. I go home and try to do extra work to get ahead, and actually can't do anything because I'm blocked by everyone's bulshit Wednesday, August 07, 2013 9:59:44 PMTwitter Web Client
The story of my life with this piece of shit phone: no internet http://t.co/KNo53qIHf1 Wednesday, August 07, 2013 7:05:42 PMTwitter for Android
Whoever dropped a deuce in this office shitter stuck out not only the whole bathroom, but the whole corridor leading up to the bathroom Tuesday, August 06, 2013 6:14:35 PMTwitter for Android
The RackSpace Cloud is a fucking piece of shit. Use Amazon instead Tuesday, August 06, 2013 5:09:15 PMTwitter Web Client
Valid question/annoyance. How come 9 times out of 10, 3/3 shitters are in use in this fucking office? Monday, August 05, 2013 4:59:11 PMTwitter Web Client
I'd like to know why the work shitter is always jammed. Can't even take a peaceful crap... Thursday, August 01, 2013 5:38:15 PMTwitter for Android
I want to take a baseball bat and destroy shit Big Papi style Wednesday, July 31, 2013 8:35:20 AMTwitter for Android
And I'm late. And my phone doesn't type properly or get internet because its a piece of shit. Job took 25 years off my life. Wednesday, July 31, 2013 8:34:59 AMTwitter for Android
On strike until my Moto X is in my hand #myphoneisapieceofshit Tuesday, July 30, 2013 9:32:57 AMTwitter Web Client
Words cannot even describe how much of a foul mood I've switched to the second I walked on the train to get to this fucking shithole Monday, July 29, 2013 10:58:38 AMTwitter Web Client
Haas: "Shit. I got so drunk last night I African American'd out" Friday, July 26, 2013 10:09:55 PMTwitter for Android
But why does this piece of shit phone say I have full 3 G but not load webpages? POS Friday, July 26, 2013 8:23:31 AMTwitter for Android
Son of a bitch. They made me a Foursquare Superuser and I've been up all night correcting shit Friday, July 26, 2013 3:18:29 AMTwitter Web Client
@Waspito feel better. That's the worst. You wake up and its fine, then it sucks. My Dr didn't give me any good shit either
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Wednesday, July 24, 2013 8:44:36 PMTwitter for Android
Lower Manhattan is a fuckin shithole Wednesday, July 24, 2013 3:32:11 PMTwitter for Android
These work shitters are worse than grand central, traffic-wise. #everonegoaway Monday, July 22, 2013 3:17:45 PMTwitter for Android
This is why Firefox is a fucking piece of shit that just crashes after idling for a wil. Fucking fix it: https://t.co/QN0OFHEl4d Tuesday, July 16, 2013 9:52:00 AMTwitter Web Client
@portfolioso Fucking GetGlue app. Shameless ad/plug. I hate that shit
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, July 16, 2013 1:11:38 AMTwitter Web Client
It could be classified as a weapon but sticks shit together: gluegun Friday, July 12, 2013 8:29:28 PMTwitter for Android
Our intern is batshit and awesome. Love it. Friday, July 12, 2013 7:47:55 PMTwitter for Android
Well shit. I tried to sneak one out at the keg in the office and ripped one. I think some support dude heard me Friday, July 12, 2013 5:43:58 PMTwitter Web Client
If we figure out this Itinerary builder API problem, I'll do the nakey dance. That shit cray Friday, July 12, 2013 11:29:41 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm very disappointed how my twitter is less batshit crazy than it used to be. #maybeitprobablystillis I'll improve after 10,000 Friday, July 12, 2013 2:09:49 AMTwitter Web Client
Why does Firefox have massive cocks all over it's shitty architecture? Crashes every 5 minutes. Wednesday, July 10, 2013 2:22:19 PMTwitter Web Client
Starting this bullshit again. #booker Monday, July 08, 2013 8:02:53 AMTwitter for Android
I just beat myself up because I forgot what the amygdala was in the brain. Bitch I got a 5 on AP psych. I should know this shit. Thursday, June 27, 2013 9:29:19 PMTwitter for Android
Looking at all the news and bullshit going on as of late, why hasn't anyone realized this country fuckin sucks and you're not actually free? Wednesday, June 26, 2013 8:10:08 AMTwitter for Android
@MarkAbsher I wish Verizon would focus on smartphones that don't suck instead of this robotic Droid bullshit.
In reply to @MarkAbsher's tweet
Monday, June 24, 2013 1:05:23 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm watchin Winnie the pooh. Someone give Eeyore a joint or some shit. Jesus Thursday, June 20, 2013 1:43:00 AMTwitter for Android
Gotta get up at 5 am to tend to our piece of shit software. Told the hr lady who's getting fires next week I came in fucked up. Lol Wednesday, June 19, 2013 11:56:55 PMTwitter for Android
Holy shit. My IT dude is the most amazing person ever. #staystrong my dude. You are so amazing and humble and people don't even realize it Wednesday, June 19, 2013 9:29:33 PMTwitter for Android
Too many dudes in this office. Fuckin shitter is full. Wednesday, June 19, 2013 5:52:29 PMTwitter for Android
Our software is a fuckin piece of shit Wednesday, June 19, 2013 10:49:07 AMTwitter Web Client
6-0 in the bottom of the 9th and now its 6-5. This is some mets ass shit right now. Cuncel da game Sunday, June 16, 2013 6:33:41 PMTwitter for Android
Raul's playing the shittiest ass rules in beer pong. Obscure. He BLEW. What kind of guys blow. Guys finger son Tuesday, June 11, 2013 7:27:20 PMTwitter for Android
It's okay... No one wants to blow up this shitty assed building Tuesday, June 11, 2013 12:14:11 PMTwitter Web Client
If deeez fools dont get at leas a 90 this machines bullshit Sunday, June 09, 2013 6:25:22 PMTwitter for Android
Derick: "Management will tell you: Money isn't the key to happiness. But that's bullshit because they've got money already" Thursday, June 06, 2013 9:31:54 PMTwitter for Android
Stupid motherfuckin rain. It would start downpouring the minute I left the house. Also, fuckin 4/5 signal probs again... Pieces of shit Monday, June 03, 2013 7:34:15 AMTwitter for Android
Mal just posted bullshit on my twitter. I'm changing my phone passcode Sunday, June 02, 2013 2:05:41 PMTwitter for Android
Aniusha: "Players talking about sticking needles through your dick and shit" Friday, May 31, 2013 2:50:09 PMTwitter for Android
Since when does the lower lever of GCT close early. This is bullshit. Ima piss all over the train bc they suck Friday, May 31, 2013 12:12:15 AMTwitter for Android
It's bullshit that the keg is kicked on my floor and I have to trek up to 19. CEO caught me carrying 2 pitchers down the stairs #WHATEVER Thursday, May 30, 2013 6:32:33 PMTwitter Web Client
This is bullshit http://t.co/oUPctyEUY7 Thursday, May 30, 2013 1:49:59 PMTwitter for Android
This is some bullshit Tuesday, May 28, 2013 11:37:32 PMTwitter for Android
Best shit reference ever: "Yo. I'm taking the Browns to the Superbowl" @MalJNew Thursday, May 23, 2013 9:31:36 PMTwitter for Android
@kerbear88 fuckin shithole
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Thursday, May 23, 2013 7:12:32 PMTwitter for Android
Google hangouts in gmail is a bunch of bullshit. Fuckin product is half asssed. Monday, May 20, 2013 12:32:30 PMTwitter Web Client
Shit and corruption Saturday, May 18, 2013 11:08:06 PMTwitter for Android
Holy balls... Just tried the x86 Android emulator and it's fast as shit. Thursday, May 16, 2013 5:05:57 PMTwitter Web Client
What kind of stupid fucking Dunkin Donuts has a drink come out to 4 cents over with tax? I had to break $1 because the shit was $1.04 Wednesday, May 15, 2013 5:06:42 PMTwitter Web Client
Someone's smoking mad weed here. Maybe if I fart, no one will smell it. Shit. @MalJNew just did Tuesday, May 14, 2013 10:23:06 PMTwitter for Android
DANIEL get the FUCK off my dick about the fucking display behind me. It's NOT MY JOB to set that shit up. Talk to Hughlon Monday, May 13, 2013 3:17:07 PMTwitter Web Client
...Or I can do it booker style... Write more shit code to handle the existing shit code.... Monday, May 13, 2013 2:24:46 AMTwitter Web Client
Aunt: "She does shit... She's a lazy bitch" Sunday, May 12, 2013 8:38:46 PMTwitter for Android
I want Yuri tending my bar.... This is bullshit Saturday, May 11, 2013 7:43:14 PMTwitter for Android
"I mean if getting shitfaced and grabbing your girlfriends ass makes you an embarrassment then Im an absolute fucking disgrace" @KFCBarstool Thursday, May 09, 2013 4:50:09 PMTwitter for Android
Cunt bartender yelled at me when I gave her shit for turning off pearl jam. She can eat a bag of dicks. No more tips. Wednesday, May 08, 2013 9:38:46 PMTwitter for Android
"When you give a shit, you look like a fuckin lunatic" -Derick Wednesday, May 08, 2013 9:09:54 PMTwitter for Android
If I were mayor, I'd cockslap the shit out of crime Wednesday, May 08, 2013 7:48:20 PMTwitter for Android
Also, whoever's smoking weed here. Let me get in on some of that shit bastards Wednesday, May 08, 2013 7:23:57 PMTwitter for Android
Shitty day? No probs. Go to Dakota bar. Alice in Chains, mad season, Offspring, pearl jam, FUCK Wednesday, May 08, 2013 7:20:44 PMTwitter for Android
Gonna go back to work all chill and shit. Probably will be mad productive. Hey... It's healthier to chill than to be a hyper bitch Wednesday, May 08, 2013 2:56:45 PMTwitter for Android
Waitress ass bitch. can't you see I'm batshit crazy right now? Let me get a beer asshole. Wednesday, May 08, 2013 2:37:31 PMTwitter for Android
If they keep up this shit over here, I'm gonna end up worse than Bynes #booker Wednesday, May 08, 2013 1:29:27 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm gonna lose my fucking shit. I've been running this bitch MY WAY for 2 years and this guy comes in and wants to switch it all up. Wednesday, May 08, 2013 10:39:20 AMTwitter Web Client
CHILL SON. MY SHIT TAKES VALID ARGUMENTS http://t.co/Uox5lhg2AG Tuesday, May 07, 2013 12:32:27 PMTwitter Web Client
I am the gassiest. And I have 2 Mexican/drinking parties este fin de semana. What's the over/under I end up shitting myself? Friday, May 03, 2013 4:18:19 PMTwitter Web Client
New work meme: #eltres
(for the Tres de Mayo shitshow) 		Tuesday, April 30, 2013 5:40:52 PMTwitter Web Client
Observation: That batshit CE girl must not be all hopped up on coke anymore because she's been reallllll low-keyed lately Tuesday, April 30, 2013 3:08:35 PMTwitter Web Client
Gotta love the geeky flyers in the shitter at Google... http://t.co/oxGhaGrLsg Monday, April 29, 2013 7:14:49 PMTwitter for Android
Cleary, you degenerate: "Oh shit. I forgot to bet on this fame. Now it won't be as fun." #loveit #bromance Saturday, April 27, 2013 1:18:49 PMTwitter for Android
be like " yo lemmie get liek mad skrillaz k thx got bills and shit to pay, word?' Thursday, April 25, 2013 11:25:08 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuck CentOS. The packages are god damn antiques. Fuckin shit shipping from 2009. I need Ubuntu Server back Tuesday, April 23, 2013 9:24:04 PMTwitter Web Client
Fucking Apache and CentOS. Not used to this shit. Used to Ubuntu and Lighttpd/Nginx Tuesday, April 23, 2013 8:33:14 PMTwitter Web Client
This train operator is an absolute nooblet at aligning this train onto the walkway platforms. Shits taking mad hours. Sunday, April 21, 2013 9:53:56 PMTwitter for Android
#shitnogirlsays This thing has too many diamonds on it. Sunday, April 21, 2013 4:34:09 AMTwitter for Android
I'm like fuck it. I ain't losin shit over these bitches. Look at all these fucks I don't give. Friday, April 19, 2013 9:27:24 PMTwitter for Android
PS my silver fox boss just told me he doesnt give a fuck if i drink another bottle of this andre assed shit we bought cheaply Friday, April 19, 2013 6:37:11 PMTwitter Web Client
I was going batshit as to why I had to <?php ?> instead of <? ?> Friday, April 19, 2013 12:21:39 PMTwitter Web Client
Ah shit. I need to check in code and update a ticket. Had some burrrrrs. Hope I don;t fuck it up Friday, April 12, 2013 7:39:28 PMTwitter Web Client
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST AT THIS SHIT FUCKING HOLE #BOOKER Friday, April 12, 2013 1:14:44 PMTwitter Web Client
This feedly bug drives me batshit: http://t.co/OADtZ2Xzj0 Friday, April 12, 2013 4:47:40 AMTwitter Web Client
Googled the names of some of the new hires and found arrests. The fuck kind of assholes don't check for this shit... Friday, April 12, 2013 3:48:26 AMTwitter Web Client
The fuck is this bullshit... Windows 8 equivalent of a BSOD http://t.co/xlFCBhywPF Friday, April 12, 2013 1:16:45 AMTwitter for Android
@Lennon Ignore this. This is a test reply because I'm testing some code I pushed to my twitter app. Integers and shit. Not exponents.
In reply to @Lennon's tweet
Wednesday, April 10, 2013 12:27:48 AMTwitter Web Client
OK this bastard either 1) dropped dead on the shitter or 2) is avoiding the fare. Fuck you. I'll piss on you. Tuesday, April 09, 2013 10:59:06 PMTwitter for Android
To whoever is taking a shit in the Metro North bathroom: I gotta piss, bastard. Get the fuck out. I'm more important than you. Tuesday, April 09, 2013 10:31:24 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew just pulled some Godfather shit. The hottest Tuesday, April 09, 2013 9:22:02 PMTwitter for Android
@Lennon 1) You'll get your hug from whoever you want it from/me also 2) Let's get shitfaced at El Cantinero with the Velbs
In reply to @Lennon's tweet
Tuesday, April 09, 2013 9:09:56 PMTwitter for Android
Shit. Air drumming to AC/DC. You know I'm tips Tuesday, April 09, 2013 8:40:21 PMTwitter for Android
Yo Freddy. There's gotta be three dudes and someone's gotta wingman that shit Tuesday, April 09, 2013 8:30:55 PMTwitter for Android
Remember that time I was talking shit about Niraj and Eric to Sam and I had my screen shared with all three of them? Whoopise Monday, April 08, 2013 10:45:08 AMTwitter Web Client
My neck is crippled. I smell like a senior citizen with this menthol shit I put on it Sunday, April 07, 2013 12:54:01 PMTwitter for Android
1AM on a Friday and I was home and doing #booker. This is some bullshit, rare and whatnot. Saturday, April 06, 2013 1:08:03 AMTwitter Web Client
This is Bullshit, Inc. #booker Friday, April 05, 2013 11:09:05 AMTwitter Web Client
Shit Done Broke, LLC #booker Friday, April 05, 2013 11:08:41 AMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: You Know What's An Utter Shitpile? Fucking Firefox http://t.co/eXlksmjkgu Friday, April 05, 2013 1:12:16 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
The wireless coverage in the office shitter is subpar..... Wednesday, April 03, 2013 6:11:52 PMTwitter Web Client
1) Not sure how I was with it enough to make it all the way "upstate" last night 2) I sexted @Colithika the craziest shit Sunday, March 31, 2013 8:31:36 AMTwitter for Android
Oh shit Saturday, March 30, 2013 2:27:46 PMTwitter for Android
Okay.... What are two bastards taking shits... I need to piss bastards Thursday, March 28, 2013 9:01:54 PMTwitter for Android
Alexey on protein shakes: "They all eat this powdered shit" Tuesday, March 26, 2013 4:48:12 AMTwitter Web Client
Two things. Not sure if the conductor checked my ticket and.. Shit I forgot Monday, March 25, 2013 9:31:16 PMTwitter for Android
Never use half assed shipping (FedEx SmartPost). If you're not there, they hand your shit off to USPS after one try and you have to pick up Monday, March 25, 2013 9:56:26 AMTwitter Web Client
MICHELLE. fuck you and your shitty ass spring theme Friday, March 22, 2013 4:13:51 PMTwitter Web Client
My next project is to revamp the datepicker on my twitter app because the history page is absolute horse shit code. Tuesday, March 19, 2013 5:46:19 PMTwitter Web Client
In case anyone was wondering how a 2000 Chevy Impala handles with < 1/2" of snow on the ground: Horse shit. Slipping fuckin everywhere Monday, March 18, 2013 8:50:15 PMTwitter Web Client
I hope this power cycling shit actually fixes my SSD Monday, March 18, 2013 8:13:13 PMTwitter for Android
I don't judge by I mean.. Shit Friday, March 15, 2013 11:11:21 PMTwitter for Android
TK's stache scared the shit out of me Friday, March 15, 2013 9:54:51 AMTwitter Web Client
Ma. Fucking don't call me at work and talk about stupid bullshit. I'm concentrating on this script. I already crashed production yesterday. Wednesday, March 13, 2013 5:45:12 PMTwitter Web Client
4/5 is running like absolute horse shit today. Fuckin waste Tuesday, March 12, 2013 9:09:10 AMTwitter for Android
So let's say I tweet some shit... I moved servers. Did I fuck up my twitter app? Tuesday, March 12, 2013 6:01:48 AMTwitter Web Client
Ahhh shit. screwed it up again Tuesday, March 12, 2013 4:01:20 AMTwitter Web Client
Do I have to revert this code or does this shit work? Tuesday, March 12, 2013 3:42:23 AMTwitter Web Client
TIL MSFT licensing is fucking bullshit. Besides your Win OS licensing, you need per user licenses to access a server? http://t.co/6848Xhb8V4 Monday, March 11, 2013 9:56:56 AMTwitter Web Client
These new radio firmwares for my phone are slightly better. I can now tweet from the work shitter without dropping Internets Friday, March 08, 2013 4:54:01 PMTwitter for Android
BULLSHIT RT @UberFacts Men are more interested in dating women who are taken while women are more likely to respect a manā€™s relationship. Friday, March 08, 2013 2:54:26 PMTwitter Web Client
@Lennon @MalJNew Lennon, don't demo the API. That shit crashes every 38 fucking seconds.
In reply to @Lennon's tweet
Monday, March 04, 2013 11:24:16 PMTwitter Web Client
This water shit fills you up. Maybe I should do this instead of stuffing my fat face. Monday, March 04, 2013 5:35:28 PMTwitter Web Client
That fuckin Cuban food is already going through me like shit through a goose. Friday, March 01, 2013 5:52:10 PMTwitter for Android
That fuckin Cuban food is already going through me like shit through a goose. Friday, March 01, 2013 4:34:21 PMTwitter Web Client
I made a deal. Mal can bang Seth MacFarlane if I can bang Jennifer Lawrence. He can talk Brian to her and shit Sunday, February 24, 2013 8:57:11 PMTwitter for Android
Yeah. I ate three of them. I'll be dumb ash shit in an hour Sunday, February 24, 2013 8:52:44 PMTwitter for Android
But I mean. Beer washes that shit down so well Sunday, February 24, 2013 8:01:18 PMTwitter for Android
What the fuck. Is this shit? http://t.co/QMj836SeKD Friday, February 22, 2013 3:58:16 PMTwitter Web Client
My tamagotchi shits a lot (like it's owner) Friday, February 22, 2013 12:18:01 PMTwitter Web Client
Rhianna has some forehead. I can project a movie on that shit Thursday, February 21, 2013 7:21:09 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck the California office and the Harlem Shake. It's old bro. They dont do jack shit out there. Shawn is also a smug bitch. Thursday, February 21, 2013 2:29:48 PMTwitter Web Client
Drives me absolutely BATSHIT in Gmail that it includes your signature on replies/forwards. It should be hidden there! Wednesday, February 20, 2013 10:24:37 PMTwitter Web Client
I walk into this fuckin shithole and found out that no one followed any procedures. And it's all up to me to fix. Fuckers Tuesday, February 19, 2013 11:33:48 AMTwitter Web Client
So does beer give anyone else the shits? Saturday, February 16, 2013 6:05:48 PMTwitter for Android
Aeroplanes on. Reminds me of Roland's band back in college. Shit. Friday, February 15, 2013 10:42:09 PMTwitter for Android
SHIT they put on Sirius/XM Lithium? Fuckin 90s jams. RATM and fuckin Nirvana. shit Friday, February 15, 2013 10:00:24 PMTwitter for Android
IDK wtf is going in but someone might actually be jacking off in the work shitter. That sound... Ew Friday, February 15, 2013 9:53:55 AMTwitter for Android
This fucking phone drops internet like I drop shits: way too fucking much. Wednesday, February 13, 2013 8:14:19 AMTwitter for Android
Holy shit... What did foursquare do to their app? It's so different Wednesday, February 13, 2013 1:28:28 AMTwitter for Android
That's bullshit. What about all my crackers from Gun Hill Rd... Place is hood as fuck. Sunday, February 10, 2013 9:14:47 PMTwitter for Android
Shit Brent. Rosemary buttermilk garlic biscuits Sunday, February 10, 2013 9:03:28 PMTwitter for Android
MTA: The heat on your shit box trains. Turn it the fuck off. I shouldn't be soaked sweating in February Tuesday, February 05, 2013 7:05:29 PMTwitter for Android
Is it me, or is Firefox a hideous piece of shit? Monday, February 04, 2013 4:41:36 PMTwitter Web Client
Holy shit. He wasn't BSing me: http://t.co/haJo15t Tuesday, January 29, 2013 4:00:43 PMTwitter Web Client
Alexey writes some backwards assed shit code Monday, January 28, 2013 12:36:48 PMTwitter Web Client
Just was up working on a bunch of shit so it's all done before my scheduled sick day. Got legit stuff done like a boss #blowmebookerhookers Thursday, January 24, 2013 2:45:46 AMTwitter Web Client
For real. How is it possible for these top heavy shitpiles to rock so violently without tipping and derailing? Monday, January 21, 2013 6:46:18 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin construction everywhere. Fuckin bums. Fuckin inferior transit. Fuck NYC. Fuckin shithole Sunday, January 20, 2013 1:38:04 PMTwitter for Android
Too drunk for this fucking build and release shit Friday, January 18, 2013 5:49:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Let me get more of that waffle. Shit was banging. @MalJNew Friday, January 18, 2013 10:54:44 AMTwitter Web Client
Let's get shitfaced tonight and make poor decisions Friday, January 18, 2013 10:45:44 AMTwitter for Android
New blog post: Let Me Tell You How Batshit Crazy I Am, Bitches. http://bit.ly/11w2GYw Tuesday, January 15, 2013 12:26:50 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
FUCK I just broke a compact fluorescent in my room. There's mercury in that shit Tuesday, January 15, 2013 12:04:34 AMTwitter for Android
Alexey is absolutely batshit right now Monday, January 14, 2013 6:03:19 PMTwitter Web Client
Gonna try to poop before her roommate comes home and yells at me. #scaredshitlessofherroomie Sunday, January 13, 2013 7:37:46 PMTwitter for Android
Don't they have fucking signals or some shit? They have to call a guy for permission to move the fucking train? Jesus Christ on the cross. Monday, January 07, 2013 8:09:30 AMTwitter for Android
Just drunk texted the VP of some bullshit Saturday, January 05, 2013 10:15:49 PMTwitter for Android
Shit I'm drunk. Maybe a little not to bad? Friday, January 04, 2013 8:49:44 PMTwitter for Android
"You just got here?" "No James, I'm standing here with my coat on for the shit of it" Ya fuckin dumb Thursday, January 03, 2013 9:07:59 AMTwitter Web Client
Shit. If I start the power hour now, I'll be hammered Sunday, December 30, 2012 4:50:44 PMTwitter for Android
Derick "I'm not drinking that shit. That's how you get hepatitis" Friday, December 28, 2012 11:25:15 PMTwitter for Android
Shit. Pretty sire I was air drumming my balls off Friday, December 28, 2012 2:09:31 AMTwitter for Android
Oh shit. I just burped McDonalds... Fuck. I went to McDonalds? Friday, December 28, 2012 2:06:47 AMTwitter for Android
All you fuckers know I'm the absolute shit, right? | Shit | (get it?) Thursday, December 27, 2012 11:42:47 AMTwitter Web Client
I still promise my twitter will remain crazy as fuck. People like that shit. #ass #titties #bangbang #struttin #unicorns Saturday, December 22, 2012 12:06:37 AMTwitter for Android
Gio: "Holy shit. Her ass is too low. How do you fuck that?" Friday, December 21, 2012 9:19:08 PMTwitter for Android
Firefox is a piece of shit Wednesday, December 19, 2012 2:54:10 PMTwitter Web Client
Yeah just raise all the fuckin shit. Make it $600, I don't give a fuck #MTA Wednesday, December 19, 2012 12:29:10 PMTwitter Web Client
Shit. Just realized Ashling is rocking hoops like a black girl. Didn't even notice Tuesday, December 18, 2012 8:47:26 PMTwitter for Android
"Apartment: shitshow. Salesforce: clean" -Alisa Tuesday, December 18, 2012 7:34:57 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck Williams bridge and all these piece of shit Bronx stops. Metro north should skip the Bronx. Its for better people Wednesday, December 12, 2012 9:54:33 PMTwitter for Android
SHIT. About a girl is on at Dakota Bar. Wednesday, December 12, 2012 7:46:52 PMTwitter for Android
Going home and drinking and chilling the most you guys. bullshit day Tuesday, December 11, 2012 5:52:14 PMTwitter Web Client
The radios in my phone are driving me batshit on the grounds that I NEVER FUCKING HAVE INTERNET Monday, December 10, 2012 6:59:25 PMTwitter for Android
You mean to tell me that I actually have to use that piece of shit Firefox browser now? Wheres my IE10? Monday, December 10, 2012 12:17:29 PMTwitter Web Client

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