3716 results for fuck
| Tweet | Date | Source |
|---|---|---|
| I am also officially predicting a repeat of the 2008 recession. Mark my words. The fucking federal reserve ruins everything. | Thursday, August 20, 2015 1:59:19 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Shits gotta stop. I fucking hate hot weather http://t.co/3i5fO92MuG | Thursday, August 20, 2015 1:53:52 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I need to get the fuck out of this deBlasio ruined, bum infested, cesspool of a city. | Monday, August 17, 2015 1:15:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Then they wonder why half the fucking tech team quit. | Monday, August 17, 2015 10:55:00 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Nobody wants to hear this fucking bumbling idiot taking about idiotic things while smart people are actually doing a hands on maintenance | Monday, August 17, 2015 10:54:15 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| You can't lose to a fuckin last place team in 16 innings. Just can't. This is a playoff race. Christ. | Wednesday, August 12, 2015 10:56:20 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Why the fuck does Windows 10 keep automatically installing the "Get Office" app. I uninstalled it twice and I already have office. GTFO | Tuesday, August 04, 2015 10:13:44 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Shut the fuck up. Trying to fix a broken build | Thursday, July 30, 2015 5:39:10 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I also don't give a fuck what this guy's blabbering about. | Thursday, July 30, 2015 2:54:46 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Jesus fucking Christ, Alexey. Relax | Wednesday, July 29, 2015 10:52:18 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| .@MTA why would you cunts only open one lane on the 59th St. bridge? No ones even fuckin working. Grease that union shitheads | Tuesday, July 28, 2015 12:10:04 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck. I think I did the math wrong http://t.co/J6Q3ZaK5fN | Monday, July 27, 2015 11:59:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| VMWareTools is a huge pain in the fuckin ass | Monday, July 27, 2015 5:10:14 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I fuckin hate Serge | Tuesday, July 21, 2015 10:57:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Confirmed: The Minion in the McDonalds happy meal does indeed say "what the fuck." | Saturday, July 18, 2015 9:48:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This fucking guy there like 8 pitches and is averaging over a hundo. Just threw 103 | Tuesday, July 14, 2015 11:25:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This motherfucker's throwing 102 | Tuesday, July 14, 2015 11:24:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| These fuckups http://t.co/yLFvPAJGMH | Tuesday, July 14, 2015 8:45:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cancel the whole rollout for one minor error that only affects one client and isn't even visible. You fucking cunts | Monday, July 13, 2015 3:04:44 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| 6 trains going the other way though #fuckingmta | Wednesday, July 08, 2015 8:50:49 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Pilot: "Delay is due to air traffic issues at LaGuardia. They do this to us all the time" Not thunderstorms ya fuckin cunts | Tuesday, July 07, 2015 5:10:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This Kim Jung Un looking motherfucker should walk faster and get out of my way on the sidewalk | Tuesday, June 30, 2015 12:55:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The one time I bring lunch these fucking cunts clean the fridge and throw it out | Friday, June 26, 2015 1:34:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Not a single fuck is being given on this call. Everyone is completely ignoring this VP | Wednesday, June 24, 2015 10:41:37 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| GoDaddy is a fucking piece of shit. Tried to leave them when they supported SOPA in the day, and their Admin Console is dick. | Wednesday, June 24, 2015 10:30:54 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Get the fuck off my team, CC Sabbathia edition. Guy sucks a dick | Wednesday, June 24, 2015 9:48:14 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Let me consult with my internet streaming and licensing specialist, Taylor Swift... Fucking TSwift... Who do you think you are? | Tuesday, June 23, 2015 1:11:40 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I'm not giving some piece of shit no name bank my SSN. Youcan keep your fucking $100. Not worth my identity stolen. Fucking scammers. | Tuesday, June 16, 2015 5:52:00 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Basically have a piece of plastic. No one ever buy this fucking Green Dot shit. I don't need to "register" it. Use AMEX gift cards instead. | Tuesday, June 16, 2015 5:51:27 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Someone gave me a Green Dot card as a gift and FUCK THEM because it doesn't work like an AMEX gift card... Need to register it with your SSN | Tuesday, June 16, 2015 5:49:51 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| @kerbear88 NO. NO. NO. Went down the shore. Fuck NYC when its 90 In reply to @kerbear88's tweet | Thursday, June 11, 2015 6:56:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My next phone might have a USB-C port!!! Fuck all this micro USB 2006 shit where they wear out and aren't reversible | Thursday, June 11, 2015 1:23:39 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Eat a dick dot info. I dont care how much I fuck up, at the end of the day Joe and Joe are the only people who can fix shit | Tuesday, June 09, 2015 4:03:47 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| This horse shit assed release is preventing like half of these motherfuckers from logging in. Let's focus on that and not how I fucked up | Tuesday, June 09, 2015 2:27:48 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I can't get fucking github to work with putty, plink and pageant. This is pissing me off. | Thursday, June 04, 2015 5:34:54 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Our security guy is now sending us one ticket per vulnerability. We have scheduled patching you fucking idiot | Wednesday, June 03, 2015 4:04:33 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Dumb motherfucker's been here 7 years and doesn't know how to reset her password on the system she's SELLING to people. I GIVE UP | Wednesday, June 03, 2015 4:01:08 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| DOM ≠DNS you fucking Vice President asshole | Wednesday, June 03, 2015 10:33:43 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Homeboy just dropped a delivery to my desk and I have absolutely no fucking idea what I'm going to do with this package for a day or so... | Tuesday, June 02, 2015 5:12:29 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| This fucking guy... They should tape his mouth shut and let him starve to death http://t.co/RI63pUuuHo | Tuesday, June 02, 2015 4:32:49 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| These fucking cunts are about to ruin my birthday because at 5:32 they JUST realized they're releasing untested code tomorrow you ASSHOLES | Monday, June 01, 2015 5:32:19 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I find this hard to believe that 47% of families can't come up with fuckin $400... Who was surveyed? The poors? In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Monday, June 01, 2015 4:10:57 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| See thing is New Relic is never fucking wrong and the idiot suits at my company use other horse shit alerting that is BS and always FALSE | Sunday, May 31, 2015 2:56:21 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Oh for fucks sake with these alerts. #HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE | Sunday, May 31, 2015 2:12:04 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| This is literally what we pay our designers hundreds of thousands to create. Fucking misspelled powerpoint 1998 shit http://t.co/qlXH1EygOE | Friday, May 29, 2015 11:26:15 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| What the fuck did I do wrong in life that I ended up on call two weekends in a row. Jesus Fucking Christ. | Friday, May 29, 2015 10:42:42 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Will you shut the fuck up? Under no circumstances is it acceptable to blabber for fucking 10 mins straight when I have shit to do. | Thursday, May 28, 2015 1:51:25 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| 7:30aontenance and I'm still reluctantly at the fuckin bar | Thursday, May 28, 2015 12:27:38 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The fuck do I agree to this shit for | Thursday, May 28, 2015 12:04:43 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Omg stop doing that. FUCK | Wednesday, May 27, 2015 9:41:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Also, text selection is all fucked up in Chrome Canary. I know it's beta but it's usually been solid. Been shit lately. | Tuesday, May 26, 2015 1:37:25 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I'm going to charge fucking time warner for the extra electric | Tuesday, May 26, 2015 1:36:20 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| My cocksucking modem keeps rebooting, IP changed and fucking Time Warner won't give it to me. I need to turn off my fucking air conditioner | Tuesday, May 26, 2015 1:36:07 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| This fucking shit in a tagged release branch doesn't even compile. | Tuesday, May 26, 2015 11:48:14 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Homeboy's outfit is fly as fuck http://t.co/vJD1zYJMt1 | Saturday, May 23, 2015 4:37:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm doing a grand job on my on call shift by ignoring all the bullshit fucking alerts before they get to @Docent_Steve | Saturday, May 23, 2015 3:49:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @TWC_Help tell your idiot technicians to screw the fucking wires in tighter on the poles. In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Sunday, May 17, 2015 12:05:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Who the fuck has their wedding reception at a lower Manhattan beer garden on a Friday night? Christ | Friday, May 15, 2015 9:27:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck you google. Pay me for answering your creepy advertising shits http://t.co/ohzcTtmjjr | Wednesday, May 13, 2015 11:23:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| So I haven't been paying attention. Did fin and em fuck yet? | Wednesday, May 13, 2015 10:15:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Christ. This fuckin place gets you shitfaced #gorangizzzzzzzz | Wednesday, May 13, 2015 9:58:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| KC and Jojo's on at the bar now. Everyone's fucking tonight | Wednesday, May 13, 2015 9:10:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Already used 36 kWH of AC and it's only fucking May 12th. Global warming can suck it. | Tuesday, May 12, 2015 6:20:49 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| You've gotta be fuckin kidding me that there is one single bathroom on this entire fuckin pier | Friday, May 08, 2015 7:43:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I am not a fan of this David Justice looking (possible wife beating) motherfucker at this party who gave me sass. | Friday, May 08, 2015 12:13:01 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck. Wasted | Wednesday, May 06, 2015 9:44:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I've been drinking since Thursday. Fuck my liver | Wednesday, May 06, 2015 9:15:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I've had just about enough of New York City. Get me the fuck out of this cesspool. | Tuesday, May 05, 2015 11:45:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| BRB, heading to Starbucks' public WiFi so I can connect from there. It's a VPN tunnel. It's encrypted you fucking idiot. | Tuesday, May 05, 2015 5:18:25 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Our security guy is a fucking moron. He blocked us from connecting to our prod VPN on corporate WiFi because it's a security risk.. | Tuesday, May 05, 2015 5:17:06 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| These joke shops finally realized they fucked up by splitting Foursquare and Swarm? https://t.co/o4d2tTLdRY | Tuesday, May 05, 2015 2:58:50 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @portfolioso I have absolutely no fucking idea what I meant by this tweet. Hahahha In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Sunday, May 03, 2015 8:52:51 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I can't party anymore because this city is weak and NOT NEW FUCKIN YORK | Sunday, May 03, 2015 2:03:49 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Trees for anyone who stops posting fuckin pusheens in the group chat #Keith2015 | Saturday, May 02, 2015 11:53:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @TWC_Help you would fuck up the fight you fuckup waste of life company | Saturday, May 02, 2015 11:13:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "You gonna pusheen these fuckin balls?" #Keith2015 | Saturday, May 02, 2015 10:09:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pluto is so fucking cool http://t.co/HNjgdSoSvd | Thursday, April 30, 2015 12:38:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Inferior service cunts. The fuck do I pay you for? Keep raising the fare cunts @MTA | Saturday, April 25, 2015 10:35:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MTA where the fuck is the train? You guys suck. Blow me. | Saturday, April 25, 2015 10:34:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Christ I've been drinking all day and can't spell on fuckin twitter. typo'd 3/3 tweets and deleted one because it was so embarrassing | Saturday, April 25, 2015 5:22:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| 0-4 CC get the fuck out | Saturday, April 25, 2015 5:08:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Delayed at 125th st because they can't figure out how to close the doors on this fuckin antique piece of shit @MetroNorth train | Monday, April 13, 2015 8:07:50 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @BarstoolJJ Not supposed to eat meat tonight, but its ok to get shitfaced as fuck. #SeemsLegit In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet | Friday, April 03, 2015 9:19:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Barcade is hot as fuck | Friday, April 03, 2015 9:18:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| R train is slow as fuck right now | Tuesday, March 31, 2015 7:10:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cigarettes are fucking vile and you've gotta have rocks in your head to enjoy them | Thursday, March 26, 2015 2:14:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Everything about today is annoying the fuck out of me | Thursday, March 26, 2015 2:11:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Director of Engineering here doesn't understand fuckin source control. | Wednesday, March 25, 2015 3:46:26 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| It's 2015. How about Windows Explorer doesn't fucking hang when a mapped drive isn't available. BEEN AN ISSUE SINCE THE 90s FIX IT | Tuesday, March 24, 2015 2:10:08 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Asks me if I know what I'm talking about. Go fuck your mother. Last time I try to help. | Tuesday, March 17, 2015 4:48:12 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Sandwich I just ate was rustic as fuck | Monday, March 16, 2015 7:30:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I actually can't read Barstool anymore because their redesign fucked everything. Busted RSS, missing articles. Shit's weak. | Monday, March 16, 2015 2:43:21 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Passed out with my contact in. Proud. Haven't done that since college ya fuckin drunks | Sunday, March 15, 2015 5:28:38 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Why the fuck would EMC vCenter's "new" web portal use Adobe Flash? Shit's been dead for years. Bring back the standalone or use HTML5. | Friday, March 13, 2015 5:17:37 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| "I been out the game too long. If a girl's touching me we gon' fuck" - Edgar | Friday, March 13, 2015 3:15:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| They don't pay me enough for the years this place took off my life from lack of sleep, stress and false fuckin alarms | Friday, March 13, 2015 2:16:11 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Verizon is all fucked up on the east coast. Half the internet is down... | Tuesday, March 10, 2015 6:23:11 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| 12k +14.4k people are fuckin hipster asshole Apple fanboy ignorants. If Apple released shit in a box, it'd sell out http://t.co/b2sCurW1R1 | Monday, March 09, 2015 11:25:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Rewrite Minecraft in golang because fuck java | Thursday, March 05, 2015 5:38:14 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Look at all the fucks I don't give! | Monday, March 02, 2015 11:36:04 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I own the fucking ticket. Come to me to fix it. Don't go to someone else. Obviously I have no purpose here. | Friday, February 27, 2015 4:22:26 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| IT guy just told me to go fuck myself when I called out that we spent 40k on a video conferencing solution they used 5 times in 2 years. | Friday, February 27, 2015 3:56:47 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Net Neutrality is good, but I feel like the government is going to fuck it up because that's what they do. | Friday, February 27, 2015 9:35:09 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| "That's why I'm not a public relations person. Everyone can go fuck themselves." -Derick | Thursday, February 26, 2015 7:01:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I have no idea what my own fucking code is doing...... So legacy | Thursday, February 26, 2015 1:28:41 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Stop fuckin laughing and being loud and do work | Tuesday, February 24, 2015 5:18:38 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Yeah. Shut the fuck up. It's 10° blow me | Monday, February 23, 2015 10:31:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Security guy doesn't even know what the fuck he's scanning. Made us disable port 80 externally and is wondering why nessus can't hit it. DER | Monday, February 23, 2015 6:21:58 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I lost my fucking metrocard | Sunday, February 22, 2015 12:03:17 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @TWC_Help @TWC_NYNJ fuck yourselves In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Friday, February 20, 2015 1:12:10 AM | Twitter for Android |
| You cocksucker mother fuckin pieces of shit.DIE | Friday, February 20, 2015 1:07:52 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fucking cancer of the internet @TWC_NYNJ | Friday, February 20, 2015 1:06:49 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I can't believe how cocksucking unreliable Time Warner @TWC is you fuck ups. How does an ISP have an outage daily | Friday, February 20, 2015 1:06:25 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Need @VerizonFiOS because Time Warner goes out ever fucking day | Friday, February 20, 2015 1:05:43 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuckin third world country USA. Internet doesn't even work everyday day. @TWC_Help http://t.co/JSsw28MRhE | Friday, February 20, 2015 1:03:51 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Time Warner can fuckin blow me. A goat carrying a CD one mile in Iran is more reliable than this cuntish ISP | Friday, February 20, 2015 1:03:15 AM | Twitter for Android |
| For fucks sake. @TWC_Help @TWC_NYNJ is out again. Unreliable cunts. Out all day today and 4 days in a row | Friday, February 20, 2015 1:01:19 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @kerbear88 they got venture capital and went evil and now fuck em. In reply to @kerbear88's tweet | Friday, February 20, 2015 12:12:27 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @TWC_NYNJ still out. Fucking fix it | Saturday, February 14, 2015 3:27:58 AM | Twitter for Android |
| And why do I have a cold. Sniffly motherfucker with a weak assed immune system. | Saturday, February 14, 2015 3:15:57 AM | Twitter for Android |
| This is America. Not a third world country. The fuckin internet shouldn't go out every fucking day @TWC_NYNJ @TWC_Help fuck you I want fios | Saturday, February 14, 2015 3:05:39 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I had just about enough of @TWC_NYNJ's shit. Constant outages. What the fuck | Saturday, February 14, 2015 3:01:25 AM | Twitter for Android |
| When I lived in Westchester, I could count on one hand when FiOS had an outage in years. @TWC_NYNJ goes out every fuckin day. | Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:59:33 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fucking assholes fix it @TWC_NYNJ http://t.co/xi7KIoXbvw | Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:43:31 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My fucking time warner is out again. Cuntish piece of shit internet service unreliable as fuck @TWC_NYNJ die | Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:39:38 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @TWC_NYNJ the fuck do I pay you for In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:38:32 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @TWC_NYNJ fuck you and your 300 mbps internet because it never even connects so what's the point In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:37:00 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @TWC_NYNJ get your fucking shit together. Last time it was out you said it wasn't an issue hut then it fixed itself so it was you suck In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:34:09 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Unreliable motherfuckers. Outage every god damn day. @TWC_NYNJ | Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:33:03 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Why does the internet go out every day? @TWC_NYNJ every fucking day it goes out you pieces of shit. I wish I had FiOS here | Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:27:37 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Protip: If you're in the hood in Queens and are white as fuck and don't want trouble, say "wha'sh p'appin" they will respect you. For real. | Friday, February 13, 2015 11:56:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| When two girls leave before a dude in a single bathroom... That's fucked up | Friday, February 13, 2015 9:26:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This guy is so fucking stupid, the fact that he holds a VP title is laughable, but sounds about right where I work... | Friday, February 13, 2015 10:40:33 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Belligerently drunk Mexican sitting across from me. Everyone's afraid but I'll beat the fuck out of him if he tries anything bc I'm so mad | Wednesday, February 11, 2015 6:44:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| WILL YOU @NYCTSubway CUNTS FIX THE FUCKIN TURNSTYLES? BROADWAY/MAIDEN ENTRANCE @ FULTON ST 4/5? MISSED TRAIN B/C IT COULDN'T READ MY CARD | Wednesday, February 11, 2015 6:39:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| New blog post: Get the Fuck off My Team: A-Rod Edition http://t.co/ltCcnfN8Ba | Wednesday, February 11, 2015 3:41:17 PM | Portfolioso.com Blog |
| Fuckin Windows updates broke my Anyconnect VPN. Pieces of shit. | Wednesday, February 11, 2015 12:46:48 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Time Warner and their daily outages can severely suck it right now. You suck at life and I'll fuck your mother if I ever meet her. | Friday, February 06, 2015 12:06:35 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuckin time warner is down again. You guys can http://t.co/F1XMksCyJv | Thursday, February 05, 2015 7:39:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Our trunk we were supposed to release today now doesn't even compile. We are fucking awesome! | Tuesday, February 03, 2015 11:53:19 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| These dumb Time Warner jokers... You click support chat and they connect you to Texas billing. For fucks sake... http://t.co/LIrJfi2Lmt | Tuesday, February 03, 2015 1:32:05 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Every time there's a gentle breeze the fuckin internet goes out. The fuck do you assholes do, tape the wires up? @TWC_NYNJ | Tuesday, February 03, 2015 12:13:19 AM | Twitter for Android |
| What in the actual fuck did Google Chrome do to the bookmarks manager in Chrome 40? Holy shit it's fugly. | Wednesday, January 28, 2015 11:52:31 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Eat a dick gramps you suit motherfucker. I finished your task before you even asked for it because I know what's up and you're an idiot | Thursday, January 22, 2015 12:31:16 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Let me be perfectly clear, news... I don't give a single fuck about Michelle Obama's SOTU outfit. This is why we're a second world country | Wednesday, January 21, 2015 8:13:49 AM | Twitter for Android |
| SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. | Thursday, January 15, 2015 6:53:34 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Does this guy ever shut his fucking mouth? | Thursday, January 15, 2015 6:29:44 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| You stinky motherfucker you | Monday, January 12, 2015 2:59:34 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I'm sorry, but if you bring fish for lunch and heat it up in the office, you're an asshole. Eat it cold, or don't bring fuckin fish | Monday, January 12, 2015 2:59:27 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| What's the nicest possible way to tell this project manager 1) shut the fuck up 2) I know how to fix this and you don't know shit so STFU. | Monday, January 12, 2015 12:25:05 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| What. It's a beer you sick fucks. | Saturday, January 10, 2015 3:33:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| There's a fucking cat in this plane. | Sunday, January 04, 2015 5:35:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck this guy. Throw him down a fuckin garbage chute and break his neck http://t.co/xDV3LyXaYt | Monday, December 29, 2014 11:31:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| NYC mayor's a fuckin asshole | Tuesday, December 23, 2014 5:51:45 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| 60 on Christmas Eve and 50s the next day? Fuck this global warming assed shit. Its supposed to snow on Christmas. Horse shit. | Sunday, December 21, 2014 10:55:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @KFCBarstool: 2 NYPD cops working overtime on anti terrorism get shot execution style as "revenge" for Eric Garner. Most fucked up logic… | Saturday, December 20, 2014 6:18:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| PS - Fuck Sony and their pussy assed ways. And asshole suits who negotiate with terrorists | Saturday, December 20, 2014 1:25:48 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Just paid like 7 people. Who the fuck else wants my money? | Friday, December 19, 2014 2:14:21 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| DJ Bro: You can't play Pony at the Holiday party without peeps trying to fuck on the dance floor. Facts is facts | Tuesday, December 16, 2014 10:33:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I know I'm a real fat fuck when I was trying to eat a chicken sandwich and bit my finger instead at full force | Sunday, December 14, 2014 3:23:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Everyone around me talks too fucking much | Friday, December 12, 2014 5:56:30 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| What's my motha fuckin name? | Friday, December 12, 2014 12:06:06 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Where the fuck is the r train cunts | Thursday, December 11, 2014 7:56:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck you cunts @mta | Thursday, December 11, 2014 7:53:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Within the past 20 mins, there were 4 empty Manhattan bound n/q/r trains and one Queens train, jammed. @mta you fucking fare hiking idiots | Monday, December 08, 2014 8:09:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| 2) As a result of 1, I need to concentrate to figure out how to fix this so SHUT THE FUCK UP. Also, our system crashed twice today #hatehate | Monday, December 08, 2014 7:10:38 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I can't even take a shit in this place and our platform starts fucking up | Monday, December 08, 2014 11:19:18 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Ah fuck it. MTA can do this every time, on the grounds that it's free (trying to be positive lol) | Monday, December 08, 2014 8:36:40 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Trying to think of ways I can fuck over the MTA for inconveniencing me | Monday, December 08, 2014 8:25:27 AM | Twitter for Android |
| What the fuck is this shit. 10 mins late and the run a train 4 cars short. Shit is packed worse than a subway car #mta #metronorth | Monday, December 08, 2014 8:13:26 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Metro North assholes: the few times I take the 8:05, its 10 mins late every single time. The fuck | Monday, December 08, 2014 8:06:47 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm OK puking to that shitty fuckin song oh Sherrie | Tuesday, December 02, 2014 12:33:40 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck off, I was in court all day | Monday, December 01, 2014 9:43:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| LaGuardia is a fuckin shithole. If it wasn't so easy to get to, I'd cuncel it: http://t.co/m1tL4eGVql | Tuesday, November 25, 2014 3:35:19 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fuckin war zone | Monday, November 24, 2014 10:18:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck I'm supposed to get up at 7 for work tomorrow, right? #balls | Friday, November 21, 2014 12:50:50 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Whoever's on the jukebox at this bar is fuckin on point. Beatles, RHCP, Nirvana, Eagles. Guy needs a firm handshake | Thursday, November 20, 2014 9:49:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| These fuckers need to stop inflating my ego and yelling me that I'm good at what I do. Its not that I'm good. Everyone else is just an idiot | Friday, November 14, 2014 9:53:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Edgar: "Yo player, just file the fuckin ticket" | Friday, November 14, 2014 1:25:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Now that I get to leave this fuckin shithole, it's almost guaranteed that the motherless MTA will have some kind of train problem | Wednesday, November 12, 2014 6:14:37 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| THIS IS EXCELLENT: https://t.co/EGBnrgYpQW Google fucked up big time by merging hangouts with SMS. It blew monkey dick. Night and day | Wednesday, November 12, 2014 2:37:40 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| This city pisses me the fuck off | Sunday, November 09, 2014 7:30:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @BarstoolJJ: I just spilled 6 shots of Jameo on a girl and she didn't flinch. She fucks | Saturday, November 08, 2014 6:00:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Who the fuck does this guy think he is interrupting me telling my boss about important release procedures about his bougie Williamsburg bar | Thursday, November 06, 2014 6:38:55 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Wait a sec... You mean to tell me the 90s aren't 10 years ago anymore? #thefuck | Thursday, November 06, 2014 5:40:48 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Sonic Highways last night was superb. Fuckin Dolly Parton, Zac Brown and Dave Grohl for the win. | Saturday, November 01, 2014 2:09:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "[4:49:57 PM]: no, they are a pair of fucking black panties on top of my toothbrush and shit" | Friday, October 31, 2014 4:51:20 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Those fuckin movable platform shits at 14th st broke. What kind of asshole designed a circular platform that requires extenders | Thursday, October 23, 2014 9:09:41 AM | Twitter for Android |
| No idea why my jaw is killing me. I didn't chew anything crazy to exert it. The fuck did I get - tetanus? | Thursday, October 23, 2014 1:20:41 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Gotta be FUCKING KIDDING ME. I love how we find out on rollout night that there are modified configs. Jesus H. Christ | Tuesday, October 21, 2014 2:17:08 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Additionally, I might actually get hammered by accident before my server maintenance. Fuck it. Last time I drunk rolled out it was perfect | Sunday, October 05, 2014 3:32:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cocksucker motherfucker http://t.co/dd9Rg4h00V | Wednesday, October 01, 2014 1:31:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Train tracks are like driving over a fuckin washboard. the least smooth. #MTAfail | Tuesday, September 30, 2014 7:28:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The 4/5 is running backwards tonight. The fuckin local 6 trains are passing us. | Tuesday, September 30, 2014 6:37:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I work with a bunch of fuckin clueless idiots. I wish I had video of this fuckin joke standing over me telling me to do useless things | Tuesday, September 30, 2014 11:35:36 AM | Twitter for Android |
| #whatsmymothafuckinname | Saturday, September 27, 2014 11:57:34 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm so allergic to fucking cats that when the dude next to me walked in, I sneezed 5 times | Tuesday, September 23, 2014 10:13:53 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I don't understand why anyone gives a fuck. Considering the universe's vastness and trillion year history/ evolution, nothing really matters | Saturday, September 20, 2014 1:21:00 AM | Twitter for Android |
| We've got this Selenium guy who just cant fucking write tests that work for shit. So. Many. False. Positives. Bro get your life together. | Friday, September 19, 2014 5:22:32 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| "Have you ever gone and Facebook and been like 'FUCK, THEIR CPU SEEMS KINDA HIGH?' No, you say 'Facebook is slow today'" -@BadPointer #32pac | Friday, September 19, 2014 2:33:34 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I mean... I'm fuckin vile. If something is too bad for me to tweet, you know it must be on another level In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Sunday, September 07, 2014 6:43:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Gotta admit... Chief Wahoo is a pretty cool dude and if you think it's racist you're a fuckin asshole | Friday, September 05, 2014 8:48:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| New blog post: CVS Is a Stupid Fucking Corporation and I Hope they Go Bankrupt http://bit.ly/1qq62YK | Thursday, September 04, 2014 2:08:23 AM | Portfolioso.com Blog |
| Movie the gf is watching with her momma is depressing the fuck out of me, so if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go look at JLaw's titties | Monday, September 01, 2014 1:04:32 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I am sick of hearing this guy's fucking voice on conference calls. Die in a bus fire. | Thursday, August 28, 2014 4:36:51 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Because of the way our network is segmented, we just quadrupled our firewall traffic by adding a load balancer. For fuck's sake! | Thursday, August 28, 2014 12:06:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| What in the actual fuck did Google do to the fonts in Chrome 37. For fucks sake. | Wednesday, August 27, 2014 5:30:30 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I don't follow BuzzFeed for a reason Twitter, so stop showing me fuckin Buzzfeed posts because my friends follow them. | Sunday, August 17, 2014 2:45:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @dannyrob88 What the fuck is #etvbtt and why do you tweet it 95 times a day? | Wednesday, August 13, 2014 2:49:24 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| @BarstoolJJ Section 202 started to do the wave and 203 was like nah fuck that noise | Friday, August 08, 2014 9:18:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Playing fuck the dealer. I'm the dealer. By mathematical logic, I'm gonna get fucked tonight. | Thursday, August 07, 2014 10:58:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Why the fuck am I on call again. Wasn't I just on call? | Monday, August 04, 2014 5:51:10 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Colin. Shut the fuck up. | Wednesday, July 30, 2014 12:56:32 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Out HR coordinator is doing the lawnmower with our SQL developer. They're fucking later. | Monday, July 28, 2014 9:02:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| tell deez nuts to pause the fuckin alerting so I don't get my fuckin phone blown up in the middle of beer pong when I'm on call | Sunday, July 27, 2014 12:07:52 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The fuck does this guy want at 5:40 on a summer Friday... Can't you see this is dedicated Reddit time? | Friday, July 25, 2014 5:38:49 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Would be nice if this fuckin train didn't park in the middle of the tracks for 5 minutes with no AC and the sun in my face | Friday, July 25, 2014 10:05:52 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The fucking MTA though | Tuesday, July 22, 2014 6:57:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Signal loss their fuckin ass. It magically corrected itself... Probably wanted to send a guy here to dick around and say he fixed it | Tuesday, July 22, 2014 9:13:08 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Time Warner speeds dropped. They say I have signal loss. The fuck. They rewired my shit 3 months ago. Fuckers | Tuesday, July 22, 2014 8:33:29 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| When I pointed the DB connection to nothing, it fixed it. For fuck's sake our app is such a piece of shit. | Sunday, July 20, 2014 11:27:47 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| The Middle East is all kinds of fucked up: http://t.co/IpSWpFnp0j | Saturday, July 19, 2014 11:52:37 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Google needs to fix this fucking hangouts bug on Android, filed by yours truly. Drives me BATSHIT. https://t.co/cvxgvSRkfs | Saturday, July 19, 2014 2:31:28 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| @DowntownNYC Lower Manhattan is a fucking shithole | Wednesday, July 16, 2014 2:45:40 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Oncall guy yesterday was woken up because QA was down for scheduled maintenance. Fucking morons | Wednesday, July 16, 2014 10:20:01 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I'm too drunk for fuckin curve balls. the fuck | Monday, July 14, 2014 1:18:10 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuckin a. Server error. This isn't supposed to happen | Monday, July 14, 2014 1:14:45 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Rule: 1002 fired (level 2) -> "Unknown problem somewhere in the system." Really useful. Fucking OSSEC alerts... | Friday, July 11, 2014 5:24:50 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Why is the whole tech industry jizzing about Android smartwatches? I like Android, but fuckin A, this isn't that cool | Thursday, July 10, 2014 1:22:31 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I AM GOING TO PUNCH SOMEONE IN THE FACE TODAY BECAUSE OF THIS FUCKING SHITHOLE #BOOKER | Thursday, July 10, 2014 10:52:34 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| OK. What kind of African fabric does Old Navy use. My shit doesn't glow in the dark? Fuck off $4 piece of shit shirt http://t.co/QbZcn4lv7r | Sunday, July 06, 2014 4:58:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The Yankees fuckin suuuuuucccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk | Wednesday, July 02, 2014 4:27:16 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Mother fucking Instagram with its autoplay noise blew my cover on the shitter. #TMI | Wednesday, July 02, 2014 11:12:34 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fucking Drupal: https://t.co/XUI4tQj7bX). | Tuesday, July 01, 2014 1:37:43 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fuckin twirlin Aunt Susie on the dance floor | Monday, June 30, 2014 10:00:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck this noise. I had enough of everyone's bullshit so I just did a hostile takeover of some unused office and am now locked in like a boss | Monday, June 30, 2014 4:55:53 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| HOW THE FUCK IS THIS MATH? Use number bonds to help you skip-count by seven by making 10 or adding to the ones. e.g., 7 + 7 = 10 + 4 = ? | Monday, June 30, 2014 1:26:39 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| TICKETMASTER IS THE FUCKING WORST | Monday, June 30, 2014 3:03:19 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Mike Tyson bit off Holyfield's ear 17 years ago today? I am OLD as fuck | Saturday, June 28, 2014 11:38:32 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck you in your pink Jeep | Saturday, June 28, 2014 1:11:14 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I didn't think it would be that hard to see Sam walking away but somehow it was. Fuckin a man. | Friday, June 27, 2014 12:26:48 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Sam's leaving g. My company is now fucked hard. In the ass | Thursday, June 26, 2014 9:40:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wench. Stop talking to the other fuckin bartender and bring me beers | Thursday, June 26, 2014 8:26:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The Windows command line is fucking convoluted. https://t.co/odTrJlwuhS Shit takes like .5 seconds in Python or bash | Thursday, June 26, 2014 1:40:22 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I've been in meetings since 12:30 and they need to fuckin end | Wednesday, June 25, 2014 2:45:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuckin put on Toto | Thursday, June 19, 2014 10:22:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Am I the only person in the world who doesn't give a fuck about the world cup? | Monday, June 16, 2014 12:58:52 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| "Dude is that Van Gundy? What the fuck happened to Van Gundy." "Dude. You're just old" | Tuesday, June 10, 2014 9:10:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fucking hate it when I'm hungry and have to wait for people to finish fuckin cigarettes instead of eating #rustlesmyjimmies | Tuesday, June 10, 2014 2:15:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hold the phone. Was Ja Rule really at orchard beach with j lo tonight, or are you guys just fucking with me? Bc I'd a been in that hood... | Thursday, June 05, 2014 12:52:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
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