Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit



2266 results for shit


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Tweet Date Source
I'm in an aggressive, no bullshit mood this morning. I'm already ready to start punching our idiot L1 support reps in the face. Monday, August 10, 2015 9:36:01 AMTwitter Web Client
Bums all over this shithole city. Bill: get lawst http://t.co/9HMiboq5bs Friday, August 07, 2015 7:18:15 PMTwitter for Android
Why is this guy here every 5 mins with password problems?
If you can't figure out how to log into basic shit, you shouldn't work here.
Fired 		Tuesday, August 04, 2015 3:56:54 PMTwitter Web Client
@TWC_Help Figure out why my speed is bullshit right now and please fix it. I have work to do in the morning http://t.co/duAZzxgZnP Tuesday, July 28, 2015 2:28:53 AMTwitter Web Client
.@MTA why would you cunts only open one lane on the 59th St. bridge? No ones even fuckin working. Grease that union shitheads Tuesday, July 28, 2015 12:10:04 AMTwitter for Android
This bitch ass client is doing data loads and woke me up because their piece of shit system has un-optimized code and our monitoring blows Wednesday, July 15, 2015 4:07:32 AMTwitter Web Client
SHIT SHIT SHIT http://t.co/PoVfQQPRiJ Sunday, July 05, 2015 1:02:36 PMTwitter Web Client
To the 24 y/o construction worker @ the bar who kept sayin he made 6 figures: Eat a dick. Some of us work our asses off for shit office jobs Tuesday, June 30, 2015 6:52:51 PMTwitter Web Client
Shit makes no sense
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, June 29, 2015 9:57:19 PMTwitter for Android
GoDaddy is a fucking piece of shit. Tried to leave them when they supported SOPA in the day, and their Admin Console is dick. Wednesday, June 24, 2015 10:30:54 AMTwitter Web Client
I have to take a huge shit and this meeting has ko end in sight. Thursday, June 18, 2015 4:17:15 PMTwitter for Android
I'm not giving some piece of shit no name bank my SSN. Youcan keep your fucking $100. Not worth my identity stolen. Fucking scammers. Tuesday, June 16, 2015 5:52:00 PMTwitter Web Client
Basically have a piece of plastic. No one ever buy this fucking Green Dot shit. I don't need to "register" it. Use AMEX gift cards instead. Tuesday, June 16, 2015 5:51:27 PMTwitter Web Client
My next phone might have a USB-C port!!! Fuck all this micro USB 2006 shit where they wear out and aren't reversible Thursday, June 11, 2015 1:23:39 AMTwitter for Android
Eat a dick dot info. I dont care how much I fuck up, at the end of the day Joe and Joe are the only people who can fix shit Tuesday, June 09, 2015 4:03:47 PMTwitter Web Client
This horse shit assed release is preventing like half of these motherfuckers from logging in. Let's focus on that and not how I fucked up Tuesday, June 09, 2015 2:27:48 PMTwitter Web Client
I might actually die in this cab. Didn't have fireball and this shit smells like fireball Wednesday, June 03, 2015 9:53:03 PMTwitter for Android
This city is going to shit with this moron https://t.co/WP3kx9TKCF Tuesday, June 02, 2015 5:45:23 PMTwitter Web Client
Oh. They pushed a bug about dialing 911. Who gives a shit about 911. I want Lollipop. Scratch that. Just give me an M dev build Tuesday, June 02, 2015 12:45:42 PMTwitter Web Client
See thing is New Relic is never fucking wrong and the idiot suits at my company use other horse shit alerting that is BS and always FALSE Sunday, May 31, 2015 2:56:21 AMTwitter Web Client
This is literally what we pay our designers hundreds of thousands to create. Fucking misspelled powerpoint 1998 shit http://t.co/qlXH1EygOE Friday, May 29, 2015 11:26:15 AMTwitter Web Client
Most senior asshole here getting shit on Friday, May 29, 2015 10:42:52 AMTwitter Web Client
Chrome Canary has been an unstable, buggy piece of shit lately Thursday, May 28, 2015 4:14:25 PMTwitter Web Client
Will you shut the fuck up? Under no circumstances is it acceptable to blabber for fucking 10 mins straight when I have shit to do. Thursday, May 28, 2015 1:51:25 PMTwitter Web Client
Bitch put the AC on in this cab. Too bougie for this hot sticky shit Thursday, May 28, 2015 12:58:05 AMTwitter for Android
The fact that I'm not at this shit means I work at a piece of shit fake wannabe startup. https://t.co/mJRh0u9DSn Thursday, May 28, 2015 12:35:18 AMTwitter for Android
The fuck do I agree to this shit for Thursday, May 28, 2015 12:04:43 AMTwitter for Android
Also, text selection is all fucked up in Chrome Canary. I know it's beta but it's usually been solid. Been shit lately. Tuesday, May 26, 2015 1:37:25 PMTwitter Web Client
This fucking shit in a tagged release branch doesn't even compile. Tuesday, May 26, 2015 11:48:14 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm doing a grand job on my on call shift by ignoring all the bullshit fucking alerts before they get to @Docent_Steve Saturday, May 23, 2015 3:49:58 PMTwitter for Android
Kyle Hendricks/Jeff Locke both on my fantasy team facing each other this afternoon and they both pitched like shit. Couldn't even get one W Friday, May 15, 2015 6:10:22 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuck you google. Pay me for answering your creepy advertising shits http://t.co/ohzcTtmjjr Wednesday, May 13, 2015 11:23:40 PMTwitter for Android
Christ. This fuckin place gets you shitfaced #gorangizzzzzzzz Wednesday, May 13, 2015 9:58:43 PMTwitter for Android
Pull the train out if the station shitheads. This isn't a parking lot. @mta Wednesday, May 13, 2015 10:00:40 AMTwitter for Android
GOOD. IT'S A PIECE OF SHIT... Google Apparently Exploring A Design Revision For Hangouts Chrome App: http://t.co/z9SsID1108 Tuesday, May 05, 2015 11:54:42 AMTwitter Web Client
Ain't got no time for people's bullshit here. Staying happy son! Monday, May 04, 2015 3:14:44 PMTwitter Web Client
Just uninstalled iTunes, Bonjour, Apple Mobile Device Support and Apple Updater. Shitty assed Windows programs I don't need anymore. Thursday, April 30, 2015 8:39:25 PMTwitter Web Client
F- commute today on the 4/5 you fare raising pieces of shit @MTA Thursday, April 30, 2015 9:23:43 AMTwitter for Android
Drummer took his shirt off. Shits gotten real Wednesday, April 29, 2015 9:25:51 PMTwitter for Android
Of course we lost at flip cup with these horseshit assed cups. http://t.co/dSmRtrE5SM Wednesday, April 29, 2015 9:08:42 PMTwitter for Android
Baggadouche. Get with the program and use html5 open video codecs. None of this plugin bullshit @SHO_Network http://t.co/teQzphD1qN Monday, April 27, 2015 11:40:55 PMTwitter Web Client
They always scream at the top of their lungs about the most politically incorrect bs when I'm trying to concentrate on this horse shit code Friday, April 24, 2015 4:45:23 PMTwitter Web Client
Delayed at 125th st because they can't figure out how to close the doors on this fuckin antique piece of shit @MetroNorth train Monday, April 13, 2015 8:07:50 AMTwitter for Android
Tomorrow is Thomas Jefferson's birthday, says Google Calendar. No one gives a shit. Sunday, April 12, 2015 4:00:21 PMTwitter Web Client
@BarstoolJJ Not supposed to eat meat tonight, but its ok to get shitfaced as fuck. #SeemsLegit
In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet
Friday, April 03, 2015 9:19:52 PMTwitter for Android
I actually can't read Barstool anymore because their redesign fucked everything. Busted RSS, missing articles. Shit's weak. Monday, March 16, 2015 2:43:21 AMTwitter Web Client
The fact that I don't have a beer right now is horseshit

πŸŽπŸ’© 		Friday, March 13, 2015 6:22:25 PMTwitter Web Client
Why the fuck would EMC vCenter's "new" web portal use Adobe Flash? Shit's been dead for years. Bring back the standalone or use HTML5. Friday, March 13, 2015 5:17:37 PMTwitter Web Client
Sir. It's completely necessary to be blasting shitty rap through your shitty phone speaker on the subway. Well dressed guy, too. Wednesday, March 11, 2015 10:09:50 PMTwitter for Android
I'm not even shitting you. We have a Potatoes team and we just told our client that we have the Potatoes working on it. Wednesday, March 11, 2015 10:52:23 AMTwitter Web Client
12k +14.4k people are fuckin hipster asshole Apple fanboy ignorants. If Apple released shit in a box, it'd sell out http://t.co/b2sCurW1R1 Monday, March 09, 2015 11:25:33 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu although any apple products were better than those two pieces of shit and I am not even a huge apple fan. Just realistic about tech
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, March 09, 2015 11:18:40 PMTwitter for Android
@Docent_Steve oh shit. I favorited this without looking at the picture first. Come onnnnn. Boylan's is delicious though.
In reply to @Docent_Steve's tweet
Monday, March 09, 2015 9:04:33 PMTwitter for Android
Shit. I'm a little toasted Thursday, March 05, 2015 4:58:30 PMTwitter Web Client
Now he's throwing shit onto the tracks Monday, March 02, 2015 8:36:25 PMTwitter for Android
Ticketmaster is such a piece of shit. Why can't you specify a different shipping address from a billing address. Friday, February 27, 2015 1:36:35 PMTwitter Web Client
I've got better shit to tweet about other than how my piece of shit third world time Warner goes out daily Friday, February 20, 2015 1:11:01 AMTwitter for Android
You cocksucker mother fuckin pieces of shit.DIE Friday, February 20, 2015 1:07:52 AMTwitter for Android
That time when biddies be saying my shit isn't deploying and they're so full of shit because it totally is deploying properly so blow me. Wednesday, February 18, 2015 1:30:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Not giving up shit for Lent. So damn stupid. I'm just going to stop being an asshole to people for 40 days. How bout them apples? Wednesday, February 18, 2015 1:00:30 PMTwitter Web Client
Explain to me why I should pay you this month when your shit is down all the time. @TWC_NYNJ Saturday, February 14, 2015 3:03:41 AMTwitter for Android
I had just about enough of @TWC_NYNJ's shit. Constant outages. What the fuck Saturday, February 14, 2015 3:01:25 AMTwitter for Android
My fucking time warner is out again. Cuntish piece of shit internet service unreliable as fuck @TWC_NYNJ die Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:39:38 AMTwitter for Android
@TWC_NYNJ worst piece of shit ISP ever. @VerizonFiOS come to Queens
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:34:58 AMTwitter for Android
@TWC_NYNJ get your fucking shit together. Last time it was out you said it wasn't an issue hut then it fixed itself so it was you suck
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:34:09 AMTwitter for Android
Why does the internet go out every day? @TWC_NYNJ every fucking day it goes out you pieces of shit. I wish I had FiOS here Saturday, February 14, 2015 2:27:37 AMTwitter for Android
🎡🎡 Gotta live, gotta live, gotta live
In shit town 🎡🎡 		Friday, February 13, 2015 3:44:01 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin Windows updates broke my Anyconnect VPN. Pieces of shit. Wednesday, February 11, 2015 12:46:48 PMTwitter Web Client
Beck is cool and shit but why weren't the foo fighters nominated for best rock album? Sunday, February 08, 2015 9:00:55 PMTwitter for Android
eat a dick with this oncall period. our shit is imploding and i've gotten bugged every day. suits running shit into the ground. end is nigh Saturday, February 07, 2015 11:57:32 PMTwitter Web Client
Moto software is near stock and meanwhile Samsung's shitty touchwiz gets lollipop? Come on. Cuncel Android. I blame Verizon Monday, February 02, 2015 3:17:36 PMTwitter for Android
Absolute horseshit that Samsung's Galaxy S5 is beating @Motorola's gen 1 Moto X on @VerizonWireless to Lollipop. Monday, February 02, 2015 3:16:54 PMTwitter for Android
What in the actual fuck did Google Chrome do to the bookmarks manager in Chrome 40? Holy shit it's fugly. Wednesday, January 28, 2015 11:52:31 AMTwitter Web Client
Is anyone watching this game right now? Put on ESPN. This wizard of oz shit is killing me Monday, January 12, 2015 10:30:06 PMTwitter for Android
What's the nicest possible way to tell this project manager 1) shut the fuck up 2) I know how to fix this and you don't know shit so STFU. Monday, January 12, 2015 12:25:05 PMTwitter Web Client
Wrap scarves are silly pieces of shit. How am I supposed to tighten it around my face? Friday, January 09, 2015 8:05:05 AMTwitter for Android
I think I just convinced a golden retriever I'm not shitfaced. Because she larrrrvvved mee when I got home. Saturday, January 03, 2015 2:48:34 AMTwitter for Android
GetGlue/TvTag Shutting Down? Good. Stopped using that shit when they started auto-tweeting self promo bullshit without my consent. Sunday, December 28, 2014 11:46:55 PMTwitter Web Client
Mauritania is a REALLY shitty country: http://t.co/1UWmdDWGZN Friday, December 26, 2014 11:29:18 AMTwitter Web Client
Picking dog shit out of the grooves of my shoes. Not and ideal way to spend my Christmas Eve Wednesday, December 24, 2014 10:44:02 PMTwitter for Android
60 on Christmas Eve and 50s the next day? Fuck this global warming assed shit. Its supposed to snow on Christmas. Horse shit. Sunday, December 21, 2014 10:55:50 PMTwitter for Android
Brobama coming in strong lately. Didn't give a shit about him but now we're chillin with Cuba and he called Sony an asshole. Ok by me. Saturday, December 20, 2014 1:37:09 AMTwitter for Android
See bullshit. Freddy is all about this broad once I set him straight
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, December 14, 2014 7:10:41 PMTwitter for Android
Actual question: What kind of MOron pushes on a shitter stall door without checking for feet under it first? Tuesday, December 09, 2014 3:57:35 PMTwitter for Android
My new favorite way to describe bad UIs via @XtinaSchelin: "low-contrast unconsecrated dog shit" (on Skype's redesign)
In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet
Monday, December 08, 2014 11:21:31 AMTwitter Web Client
I can't even take a shit in this place and our platform starts fucking up Monday, December 08, 2014 11:19:18 AMTwitter Web Client
What the fuck is this shit. 10 mins late and the run a train 4 cars short. Shit is packed worse than a subway car #mta #metronorth Monday, December 08, 2014 8:13:26 AMTwitter for Android
I'm OK puking to that shitty fuckin song oh Sherrie Tuesday, December 02, 2014 12:33:40 AMTwitter for Android
I judge how awesome I am based on looking at my tweets and measuring how batshit crazy they were. Monday, December 01, 2014 9:46:29 PMTwitter for Android
LaGuardia is a fuckin shithole. If it wasn't so easy to get to, I'd cuncel it: http://t.co/m1tL4eGVql Tuesday, November 25, 2014 3:35:19 PMTwitter Web Client
Guy on CNN is shitting his pants Monday, November 24, 2014 10:22:26 PMTwitter for Android
OMG since when did Outlook Wem Mail (for exchange) get awesome? I remember it being a piece of shit back in '09 Monday, November 24, 2014 3:35:17 PMTwitter Web Client
Jets. Bills. Monday. Detroit... Shittiest teams, shittiest day of week, shittiest city. Attendance of 12. #dafuq Friday, November 21, 2014 12:18:44 AMTwitter for Android
It's 9:30 AM and I'm sitting at my desk eating a steak 1) Because I'm batshit crazy 2) I don't follow norms and 3) because I don't care Thursday, November 20, 2014 9:36:20 AMTwitter Web Client
Literally dialed in to this portfolio review call from the shitter. Kinda how I feel about it. Thursday, November 13, 2014 10:07:00 AMTwitter for Android
[6:27:46 PM] i'm gonna go up there
[6:27:48 PM] shit on the floor
[6:27:51 PM] tell them to eat a dick
[6:27:52 PM] and walk out 		Thursday, November 13, 2014 9:53:23 AMTwitter Web Client
.@MTA the 4/5 is a piece of shit subway line. Raise the fares and then continue your shitty service assholes http://t.co/k92uqCL2mF Wednesday, November 12, 2014 6:39:29 PMTwitter for Android
Now that I get to leave this fuckin shithole, it's almost guaranteed that the motherless MTA will have some kind of train problem Wednesday, November 12, 2014 6:14:37 PMTwitter Web Client
If they showed puppies running up to returning vets during Stay, I would have lost my shit Tuesday, November 11, 2014 9:35:51 PMTwitter for Android
My boss is at brunch with me watching me get shitfaced before tonight's server maintenance Sunday, November 09, 2014 2:57:14 PMTwitter for Android
This bitch TSwift really needs to shut up about royalties and shit. Tired of seeing her everywhere. Friday, November 07, 2014 9:47:50 AMTwitter for Android
Bullshit. didn't get one. http://t.co/7c3aVRz6NV Thursday, November 06, 2014 12:58:24 AMfeedly cloud
@portfolioso Dia de Los Muertos or whatever. They call it All Souls day or some shit if you're a holy Catholic.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, November 01, 2014 2:15:19 PMTwitter for Android
"[4:49:57 PM]: no, they are a pair of fucking black panties on top of my toothbrush and shit" Friday, October 31, 2014 4:51:20 PMTwitter Web Client
Shit I'm gettin hammered tonight Saturday, October 25, 2014 10:49:51 PMTwitter for Android
Those fuckin movable platform shits at 14th st broke. What kind of asshole designed a circular platform that requires extenders Thursday, October 23, 2014 9:09:41 AMTwitter for Android
SOUND THE ALARMS. I DELETED iamabanana.txt from our prod servers and our OSSEC shit went wild. Panic ensued. http://t.co/ri8M8EYA1g Monday, October 20, 2014 11:29:07 AMTwitter Web Client
How come people from India and Russia always say "I will do the needful" It's such a shitty mistranslation Friday, October 17, 2014 3:33:27 PMTwitter Web Client
Secaucus Junction station: I've never smelled anything like it in my life #shithole Monday, October 13, 2014 5:14:09 PMTwitter for Android
@mich_amore yeah these weeks are bullshit. They need to go quicker. Although I don't fancy getting older...
In reply to @mich_amore's tweet
Thursday, October 09, 2014 11:26:00 PMTwitter for Android
Hyper-V is the worst piece of shit hypervisor there is. The management of it is the most convoluted Wednesday, October 08, 2014 3:28:04 PMTwitter Web Client
Cloudflare is a really shitty CDN Wednesday, October 08, 2014 9:23:50 AMTwitter Web Client
To the bird that took a shit on my window screen... Screw you Tuesday, October 07, 2014 9:31:22 PMTwitter for Android
LOL DRUPAL. So glad I washed my hands of that bullshit. So much drama between Marketing and SysOps because Drupal BLOWS. Friday, September 26, 2014 3:18:06 PMTwitter Web Client
This is bullshit. I'm in Koreatown and Niraj and or Sam aren't here to buy me Korean BBQ. 😠😠 Friday, September 19, 2014 10:16:54 PMTwitter for Android
We've got this Selenium guy who just cant fucking write tests that work for shit. So. Many. False. Positives. Bro get your life together. Friday, September 19, 2014 5:22:32 PMTwitter Web Client
Shit the Dandys are in Brooklyn tonight. I must see them Friday, September 19, 2014 1:38:08 PMTwitter for Android
Playing dos games while I wait on this deployment. #causemylifeisdopeandidodopeshit Wednesday, September 17, 2014 9:59:38 AMTwitter Web Client
I wish I was so baller that my band would play secret underground shows as The Holy Shits Saturday, September 13, 2014 12:43:52 PMTwitter for Android
Just dropped a ten spot in the shitter Saturday, September 06, 2014 1:22:14 AMTwitter for Android
@KFCBarstool Clancy. I can't change my channel and this is bullshit. Switching back to Time Warner. J/k #fios http://t.co/V9B1kUcnI7 Sunday, August 31, 2014 1:34:15 AMTwitter for Android
Haters gon hate, but this is GOOD SHIT http://t.co/vvdRiSyJgV Wednesday, August 27, 2014 10:29:13 PMTwitter Web Client
THIS BULLSHIT: "Twitter’s Latest Experiment Turns Favorites Into Retweets (And It’s Annoying Lots Of People)" http://t.co/Pi5WNYqfTT Sunday, August 17, 2014 2:43:07 PMfeedly cloud
Buffer zone, people. If there are other empty stalls don't come shit right next to me asshole Friday, August 15, 2014 3:01:39 PMTwitter for Android
I just editited the db for my twitter app and probably broke it. #shit Wednesday, August 13, 2014 10:40:00 PMTwitter for Android
Shit. Just watched a Stephen Hawking documentary and now I 100% understand the concept of traveling forward in time Wednesday, August 13, 2014 10:26:53 PMTwitter for Android
The fact that it's 2014 and phones still connect to EDGE or 1X is utter bullshit. Deprecate!!!! Tuesday, August 12, 2014 6:46:11 PMTwitter for Android
Not even shitting you. The 80something yr old guy on the first floor watches porn nonstop. Thursday, August 07, 2014 11:41:53 PMTwitter for Android
Shit. Someone's getting arrested tonight Monday, July 28, 2014 9:39:32 PMTwitter for Android
Not for anything, New York is a pretty shitty place to live. Tuesday, July 22, 2014 6:58:40 PMTwitter for Android
Time Warner speeds dropped. They say I have signal loss. The fuck. They rewired my shit 3 months ago. Fuckers Tuesday, July 22, 2014 8:33:29 AMTwitter Web Client
When I pointed the DB connection to nothing, it fixed it. For fuck's sake our app is such a piece of shit. Sunday, July 20, 2014 11:27:47 PMTwitter Web Client
Google sucks. Why is it god damn impossible to find the video manager on youtube? Where is the shit I uploaded assholes? Saturday, July 19, 2014 2:34:10 AMTwitter Web Client
Google needs to fix this fucking hangouts bug on Android, filed by yours truly. Drives me BATSHIT. https://t.co/cvxgvSRkfs Saturday, July 19, 2014 2:31:28 AMTwitter Web Client
Protip: Do not watch this video at work and expect NOT to lose your shit in hysteric fits... https://t.co/MRPWdUnBpj Thursday, July 17, 2014 9:06:54 AMTwitter Web Client
@DowntownNYC Lower Manhattan is a fucking shithole Wednesday, July 16, 2014 2:45:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Note to anyone who wakes me up for a non prod incident: Don't do it or I'll shit on your desk Wednesday, July 16, 2014 10:20:39 AMTwitter Web Client
My title and only job is release engineer. Only thing I'm responsible for is release. And I get shitfaced for them (by accident) Monday, July 14, 2014 12:57:11 AMTwitter for Android
As an FYI: I am completely shitfaced and doing an production rollout Monday, July 14, 2014 12:55:55 AMTwitter for Android
I AM GOING TO PUNCH SOMEONE IN THE FACE TODAY BECAUSE OF THIS FUCKING SHITHOLE #BOOKER Thursday, July 10, 2014 10:52:34 AMTwitter Web Client
I can't even make this shit up. People like that make six figures. Tuesday, July 08, 2014 10:58:14 PMTwitter for Android
OK. What kind of African fabric does Old Navy use. My shit doesn't glow in the dark? Fuck off $4 piece of shit shirt http://t.co/QbZcn4lv7r Sunday, July 06, 2014 4:58:57 PMTwitter for Android
Fixed my cousin's dead hard drive by putting it in the freezer LIKE A BOSS. For real, that shit actually works (pending it's not an SSD) Sunday, July 06, 2014 10:39:53 AMTwitter Web Client
Holy shit. Look at the moon. Mars is like a centimeter above it. Saturday, July 05, 2014 9:37:10 PMTwitter for Android
After visiting Spotify's office, I officially work at a shithole Wednesday, July 02, 2014 6:20:14 PMTwitter for Android
I am SO tempted to send this dev dude Jay a bug ticket and at the end be like "That shit cray. Ain't it Jay?" Wednesday, July 02, 2014 11:29:16 AMTwitter Web Client
Gotta love the wit and wisdom of @XtinaSchelin. I love when I see ridiculous shit in Active Directory http://t.co/oQkILIPizv Wednesday, July 02, 2014 11:25:41 AMTwitter Web Client
Mother fucking Instagram with its autoplay noise blew my cover on the shitter. #TMI Wednesday, July 02, 2014 11:12:34 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck this noise. I had enough of everyone's bullshit so I just did a hostile takeover of some unused office and am now locked in like a boss Monday, June 30, 2014 4:55:53 PMTwitter Web Client
We are going to have a generation of ignorami if moron politicians who believe in creationist shit make laws to teach idiot common core math Monday, June 30, 2014 1:28:09 PMTwitter Web Client
Black keys are on so I'm taking a shot. Not their pussy ass new album tho. Good old shit Thursday, June 26, 2014 9:41:23 PMTwitter for Android
The Windows command line is fucking convoluted. https://t.co/odTrJlwuhS Shit takes like .5 seconds in Python or bash Thursday, June 26, 2014 1:40:22 PMTwitter Web Client
Also, sleeping dude on shitter woke up startled and walked out. No hand wash. Tuesday, June 24, 2014 4:54:21 PMTwitter for Android
Dude next to me is legit snoring on the shitter. Betcha its Stein. I mean, when you work where I work, I cannot hold this against you bro. Tuesday, June 24, 2014 4:46:32 PMTwitter for Android
Dude. That's the biggest tap handle I've ever seen. You can't even deep throat that shit Wednesday, June 18, 2014 7:49:25 PMTwitter for Android
This heat bullshit needs to end. Is it fall yet (isn't even summer). Moving to Alaska Tuesday, June 17, 2014 6:48:36 PMTwitter for Android
Our software's such a piece of shit this infographic went out in the weekly round up. I kid you not... http://t.co/2IW0NsUlBd Monday, June 16, 2014 9:49:02 AMTwitter Web Client
My boy Danny is so loud, I can single out his voice on the boardwalk from the shitter Friday, June 13, 2014 8:19:40 PMTwitter for Android
If there's one thing I'm good at, it's holding my boys back from beating the shit outta someone. No ones getting by me son Wednesday, June 11, 2014 10:38:21 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu At least they were live. This bullshit other band was 100% sampled, had a tech malfunction and couldn't play. Lolz
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Sunday, June 08, 2014 10:36:07 PMTwitter for Android
Not even shitting you. Damien looks exactly like Hughlon Friday, June 06, 2014 7:32:23 PMTwitter for Android
If I submit this to our piece of shit ticketing system, you think anyone will even read this? Work with incompetents http://t.co/x6Fya9zY4n Monday, June 02, 2014 5:29:05 PMTwitter Web Client
How do I filter iOS 8 shit out of my news reader because I don't give a fuck Monday, June 02, 2014 3:20:42 PMTwitter Web Client
This old bitch singing is pretty shitty Tuesday, May 27, 2014 8:10:13 PMTwitter for Android
O shit. Yanks are on? $3 Coors Lights? Never going back to the office. Wednesday, May 21, 2014 2:46:36 PMTwitter for Android
Foo Fighters are putting all their shit on SoundCloud. Yeah DAVE. (PS I buy foo records, so whatever) https://t.co/pf3lfnX74j Tuesday, May 20, 2014 5:19:47 PMTwitter Web Client
That time when you're shitface and your mom tells you to call Sunday, May 18, 2014 4:17:22 PMTwitter for Android
Shit. We just did a lit of fireball Saturday, May 17, 2014 2:37:53 PMTwitter for Android
Bubble Butt.. This is some beyond twerking shit Friday, May 16, 2014 11:35:06 PMTwitter for Android
Our shit has been down all night and look at all the fucks I give. Maybe it'll give McGivern a heart attack. Friday, May 16, 2014 10:39:05 PMTwitter for Android
Will you crackers on call fix the reporting cluster so I stop getting alerts while I'm trying to get shitfaced on Friday night? Please and thx Friday, May 16, 2014 9:28:25 PMTwitter for Android
Get a load of this piece of shit Yankee team Tuesday, May 13, 2014 8:40:06 PMTwitter for Android
Anyone else ever roll prod code directly from the shitter? #TMI? Basically how I feel about this place. ;) Tuesday, May 13, 2014 8:29:05 AMTwitter Web Client
Not to be a cocky asshole or anything, but when I actually ran shit in this joint instead of the idiot suits, the shit hit the fan less. Monday, May 12, 2014 4:51:42 PMTwitter Web Client
Do not fuck with mama geese. Biddies are batshit crazy. Almost attacked me going 20 on my bike. Not hurting your kids bro, chill Monday, May 12, 2014 2:53:16 PMTwitter for Android
this new mute feature is baller. What's the over/under like 95% of my followers mute me for batshit tweets. Whatever Monday, May 12, 2014 1:47:31 PMTwitter Web Client
Beatsie boys are on. Reminds me of the co founder COO we fired like assholes because he was the shit and now they should crash and burn Sunday, May 11, 2014 1:18:18 AMTwitter for Android
I can go for a McChicken right now. Can I get that shit on seamless stat? Friday, May 09, 2014 1:31:12 AMTwitter for Android
Reviewing our "standard operating procedures" written by this suit asshole who doesn't understand tech. A bunch of rubbish bullshit. F- Wednesday, May 07, 2014 10:23:09 AMTwitter Web Client
This meeting is horseshit Tuesday, May 06, 2014 1:25:50 PMTwitter for Android
Our systems such a piece of shit, I have a buddy on support that just renames un deletable services to z do not book Monday, May 05, 2014 11:26:54 PMTwitter for Android
Pls explain how I just shit out corn kernels I ate 4 hours ago... Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:25:26 PMTwitter for Android
Hipsters with iPhones are bullshit because if they didn't conform with society, they'd have a phone no one else the fuck has. So blow me. Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:13:41 PMTwitter for Android
What pisses me off is fuckin hipsters with iPhones. iPhones are mainstream. This is the shit that isn't: http://t.co/IWKNRSi5fq Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:12:04 PMTwitter for Android
This new Foursquare company strategy is fucking bullshit. This will kill the whole platform, guaranteed: http://t.co/YwTkeao5J1 Thursday, May 01, 2014 9:13:36 PMTwitter Web Client
Shit. Am I on call tonight? Wednesday, April 30, 2014 9:54:37 PMTwitter for Android
This motherfucker is on call if the system shits the bed and will be going to bikini bar next. Wednesday, April 30, 2014 8:51:34 PMTwitter for Android
Have I mentioned lately that Firefox is a fucking piece of shit? http://t.co/hmcLGjhyj8 Wednesday, April 30, 2014 4:32:02 PMTwitter Web Client
Company just did a scavenger hunt for answers on our intranet. if I didn't win this shit, they're fuckin mistaken. I RUN THIS BITCH Thursday, April 24, 2014 1:27:14 PMTwitter Web Client
FIREFOX IS A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT Wednesday, April 16, 2014 2:36:28 PMTwitter Web Client
If you ever have to work with SQL Server Integration Services, kindly kill yourself. This technology is BULLSHIT Friday, April 11, 2014 5:51:21 PMTwitter Web Client
Google still hasn't improved hangouts since it launched and it's still more of a piece of shit than old GChat Friday, April 11, 2014 2:00:14 AMTwitter Web Client
New Twitter redesign wasn't yet pushed to me, but it's some BULL shit. I hardly use Facebook because it's over cluttered. No need to copy Tuesday, April 08, 2014 4:40:01 PMTwitter Web Client
Frusciante's new album blows. Get back on the drugs man, your current shit's weak Tuesday, April 08, 2014 1:21:53 PMTwitter Web Client
Overheard from my mouth in the office: "Where are all the managers, and why don't they know jack shit? Bunch of morons." Tuesday, April 08, 2014 12:13:53 PMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu Problem is, this Twitter is private, so HBO can't see how batshit crazy I am
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Tuesday, April 08, 2014 6:49:55 AMTwitter for Android
Completely empty bathroom. Don't shit in the stall directly next to me. Asshole. Wednesday, April 02, 2014 9:34:58 AMTwitter for Android
The 8:02 just showed up. It's 8:11. We're late because they're using a piece of shit antique train and the doors get stuck. Wednesday, April 02, 2014 8:12:07 AMTwitter for Android
There's some voodoo shit going on with these phones.. Saturday, March 29, 2014 9:24:19 PMTwitter for Android
If I keep running my mouth at this shithole, I'm getting fired. Thursday, March 27, 2014 12:21:41 PMTwitter Web Client
Shit. Colin got me fuuuuuckkkkked up Wednesday, March 26, 2014 12:07:31 AMTwitter for Android
Got 9s in the bedroom. Glocks in the kitchen. Shotty in the shower gonna shoot me while I'm shittin' Tuesday, March 25, 2014 11:29:57 PMTwitter for Android
When they met @ the Three Broomsticks for Dumbledore's Army, what was omitted was that they all got shitfaced and talked shit about Umbridge Tuesday, March 25, 2014 9:38:28 PMTwitter for Android
I'm a fuckin stud rolling shit out son Tuesday, March 25, 2014 7:58:39 PMTwitter for Android
You can't even begin to describe how fucking shitty my fantasy baseball team is Monday, March 24, 2014 1:10:51 PMTwitter Web Client
Been drinking for 3 days straight. Cousin's kids baptism is tomorrow. Will definitely have the shits Saturday, March 22, 2014 9:06:59 PMTwitter for Android
This is bullshit https://t.co/MVKu0v87Ac Friday, March 21, 2014 8:15:25 PMVine for Android
1:33am and I just put chicken in the oven. Beyond batshit crazy Friday, March 21, 2014 1:34:00 AMTwitter for Android
MSMQ is a piece of shit Thursday, March 20, 2014 11:52:55 AMTwitter Web Client
Is bullshit. Why is this fuckin river not green. The fuck mon Saturday, March 15, 2014 4:33:02 PMTwitter for Android
I may or may not have gotten drunk and wrote nasty shit about McGivern on the chalkboard in the bar bathroom Saturday, March 15, 2014 1:42:19 AMTwitter for Android
This release is the biggest piece of shit going Tuesday, March 04, 2014 1:59:28 PMTwitter Web Client
Ellen DeGeneres' eyes scare the living shit out of me Sunday, March 02, 2014 8:57:53 PMTwitter for Windows
I'd rather shove a red hot rusty nail through my dick than to deal with this incompetent piece of shit company Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:42:05 PMTwitter for Android
Apparently, if you cancel Time Warner's shit service, they don't actually do it. Incompetent fucks. Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:41:16 PMTwitter for Android
Even when Time Warner was installed that shit, it never worked. Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:38:23 PMTwitter for Android
Time Warner is the worse fucking piece of shit company possible Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:35:57 PMTwitter for Android
Had Mexican for lunch and dinner yesterday. Needless to say, this has been tweeted from the shitter. Saturday, March 01, 2014 10:20:22 AMTwitter for Android
10Β° Standing on this platform because this piece of shit Metro North train is late again. #MTA Thursday, February 27, 2014 8:07:36 AMTwitter for Android
About to buy a $200 home router because I'm batshit crazy. Fuckin boss tho: http://t.co/c00hbhxeDw Thursday, February 27, 2014 12:35:21 AMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu Try to tell that to my idiot suits. They make it miserable, so no one is motivated or gives a shit.
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Tuesday, February 25, 2014 10:03:14 AMTwitter for Windows
I feel like if you ever end up taking a shit at a Brother Jimmy's, you've hit rock bottom. Monday, February 24, 2014 11:23:37 PMTwitter for Android
Happy Monday! Start your workweek right with late MTA Metro North trains. Pieces of shit. Monday, February 24, 2014 8:08:21 AMTwitter for Android
Broken Bells. Shit. πŸ‘πŸ‘Œ Sunday, February 23, 2014 1:01:40 AMTwitter for Android
I honestly believe Antivirus software was invented for IT job security. It fucks up computers so badly, that they always need to fix shit. Friday, February 21, 2014 11:13:52 AMTwitter for Windows
Almost lost my shit when they pushed Kaspersky via network policy & it broke my VPN. Then I remembered I can just NOT work and get $$ anyway Thursday, February 20, 2014 10:05:52 AMTwitter for Windows
They also did this shit with the password form where it randomly assigns CSS selectors. HURR DERRR I got around it Thursday, February 20, 2014 1:09:44 AMTwitter Web Client
Bitches over at dyndns delete your shit if you don't log in monthly. Wrote automation + task scheduler to auto log in every other week. WIN Thursday, February 20, 2014 1:09:00 AMTwitter Web Client
Jeopardy is the shit @KFCBarstool Saturday, February 15, 2014 7:11:38 PMTwitter for Android
Just read my last month's worth of tweets. I'm batshit crazy. Friday, February 14, 2014 1:19:50 AMTwitter for Windows
The piece of shit 4/5 isn't running Wednesday, February 12, 2014 7:04:46 PMTwitter for Android
Aniusha is dancing on the table. You know the shits goin down Friday, January 31, 2014 10:06:40 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking train is late again. This piece of shit MTA Friday, January 31, 2014 8:06:35 AMTwitter for Android
I sit in the middle if Gabe and Colin. The combination of these two and their nonstop chatter makes me want to take a shit Thursday, January 30, 2014 4:30:37 PMTwitter for Android
First tweet from the Windows 8 App. This shit is pretty cool Thursday, January 30, 2014 2:23:51 PMTwitter for Windows
Oh shit. My review's tomorrow. Going in with a mustache. If they fire a guy with a mustache, that'd be hysterical Wednesday, January 29, 2014 11:07:29 PMTwitter for Android
Broken Bells album leaked. Shit is tight Wednesday, January 29, 2014 3:14:11 PMTwitter Web Client
Cannot wait until March where I don't have to ride this shitty failroad every day Monday, January 27, 2014 8:49:40 AMTwitter for Android
Tonight's episode of Girls was 100% boring and an utter pile of shit. Monday, January 27, 2014 2:09:12 AMTwitter for Android
Why is this cocksucker metro north train stopped. Go you piece of shit Friday, January 24, 2014 6:46:49 PMTwitter for Android
Bullshit in, bullshit out... Mad, so my script will contain asinine comments: #pantiesinabunchoverconfigfiles http://t.co/I4VSfuMuCL Thursday, January 23, 2014 12:37:04 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm batshit crazy Monday, January 20, 2014 7:55:57 PMTwitter for Android
I fucking hate this shit Tuesday, January 14, 2014 11:24:26 AMTwitter Web Client
Security guys just have no fucking idea and are the least practical. All they care about is fixing the vulnerability, not breaking shit Monday, January 13, 2014 5:24:05 PMTwitter for Android
My job is LITERALLY shitty. Can't even poop here. I tried both floors and all stalls are maxed out. #dafuq Thursday, January 09, 2014 3:26:33 PMTwitter for Android
A woman just ordered half white and half yellow american cheese at the deli. Isn't it the same shit and just dyed? Sunday, January 05, 2014 7:42:16 PMTwitter for Android
"Yo they look like they're related or some shit... Oh wait, we're watching Family Feud." -@portfolioso Saturday, January 04, 2014 2:08:19 AMTwitter for Android
Took two shits in time of peace and two in time of war. I took two shits before I took two shits, and then I took two more Friday, January 03, 2014 9:10:08 PMTwitter for Android
Took two shits in the mornin. Took two shits at night. Took two shits in the afternoon, it makes me feel alright Friday, January 03, 2014 9:09:18 PMTwitter for Android
These motherfuckers need to get their shit together with these server alerts and instability while I'm away. Monday, December 30, 2013 3:45:32 PMTwitter for Android

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