Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit



1683 results for ass


[«]‹34567›[»]
Page 5 of 7 | Showing 1001 to 1250
Tweet Date Source
DAT ASS @MalJNew Friday, December 14, 2012 9:52:16 AMTwitter Web Client
Our recruiters here suck ass. Sent me a guy to interview and I googled his name and his Google+ says "I suck at time management" FUCK OFF Thursday, December 13, 2012 1:50:43 PMTwitter Web Client
Interacting with Redis in php is easy as fuck using Predis. Even a half assed, hack brogrammer like myself can easily do it! Tuesday, December 11, 2012 1:06:21 AMTwitter Web Client
This is what working for my company does to you. Turns you into a fuckin stressed ass zombie that turns to stupid shit to get by at life. Saturday, December 08, 2012 2:02:53 AMTwitter for Android
I don't hate black peeps for the rec duh. They taught me how to strut dat ass Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:58:59 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck. Me. In the ass Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:47:16 AMTwitter for Android
This is fuckin karma. I wasn't sympathetic enough for the bitch ass who missed her stop on Tuesday Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:44:16 AMTwitter for Android
The one fucking time I decide to come back to fucking bitch ass Westchester, I sleep past my stop Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:30:34 AMTwitter for Android
Rocks in my mother fuckin head to take this dumbass drunkass train home Saturday, December 08, 2012 12:54:47 AMTwitter for Android
Moving this DB from the cloud to our internal server is a fucking pain in my ass and is gi9ving me a fuckign panic attack Tuesday, December 04, 2012 9:47:57 AMTwitter Web Client
4 and 5 trains were jammed ass to dick this morning. Monday, December 03, 2012 9:19:55 AMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Get a Load of This Goofball Cop Blocking Traffic For Stupid Ass Ducks http://bit.ly/QAUhhD Monday, December 03, 2012 12:34:30 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
Why is no one liking these shits today? I thought I tweeted some real gems. Guess I'm not struttin dat ass hard enough. Friday, November 30, 2012 3:41:28 PMTwitter Web Client
My type of reading. RT @jiaaro Javascript for Assholes http://t.co/1oFnPPt …is pretty awesome Friday, November 30, 2012 11:51:19 AMTwitter Web Client
STRUT DAT ASS! STURT DAT ASS! STRUT DAT ASS!!! Friday, November 30, 2012 10:09:48 AMTwitter Web Client
There is a guy literally paying metro north in coins. Classic move. conductor wanted to murder him. Thursday, November 29, 2012 6:53:15 PMTwitter for Android
The dude operating this train is amateur as fuck. Takes forever to pull a train into the station at 2mph. Learn to spot quicker, asshat. Monday, November 26, 2012 2:50:13 PMTwitter for Android
This is after they dumped beer on my sexy assed jeans Thursday, November 22, 2012 12:34:47 AMTwitter for Android
I just smacked DAT ass and said "you got a black ass, gurrrrrrl" Saturday, November 17, 2012 9:46:18 PMTwitter for Android
Struttin dat ass over to Down The Hatch. Enjoyyyyyy fuckers Friday, November 16, 2012 7:05:41 PMTwitter Web Client
When life gives you lemons... Strut dat ass Friday, November 16, 2012 2:04:35 PMTwitter for Android
"Wait. He inherited her last name?!?! What a bitch. I'm gonna tap that ass." Wednesday, November 14, 2012 3:50:10 PMTwitter for Android
Our new corporate logo is goatse central. Looks like a gaping asshole Saturday, November 10, 2012 4:37:59 PMTwitter for Android
#DLK2012 #JEANS #DATASS Tuesday, November 06, 2012 11:08:27 AMTwitter Web Client
Pretty sure Sassy thinks my face is a lollipop Tuesday, October 30, 2012 8:50:24 PMTwitter for Android
Love this DirecTV NFL pass thingy that I'm in the middle of Ohio and can still watch my GMen Sunday, October 28, 2012 6:57:40 PMTwitter for Android
Struttin that ass @LEVIS
In reply to @LEVIS's tweet
Friday, October 26, 2012 8:02:44 PMTwitter for Android
At least I get to strut dat ass Friday, October 26, 2012 9:34:19 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm the man... With the plan. I break the ice with my ass. Thursday, October 25, 2012 11:27:36 AMTwitter Web Client
I thought @Lennon was supposed to be a public facing, non-crazy twitter. She's still tweeting about tits/funbags and jeans' ass. #mystyle Monday, October 22, 2012 9:22:32 AMTwitter Web Client
Struttin' that ass against breast cancer! Sunday, October 21, 2012 11:33:54 AMTwitter for Android
Really embarrassed by my parking job. Parked like a doucheknuckle Saturday, October 20, 2012 10:17:18 PMTwitter for Android
X-Tina just beat me 10-5 in fooseball. Bitch ass trick Friday, October 19, 2012 7:01:57 PMTwitter Web Client
Struttin that ass, brogramming: http://t.co/a3HKOqT Friday, October 19, 2012 1:11:09 PMTwitter Web Client
Rainy Friday. Struttin that ass Friday, October 19, 2012 8:01:38 AMTwitter for Android
This is my 8,000th tweet. Sadly, it is not about struttin' that ass, a drunk/incoherent mess, sluts, bitches, motherfuckers or how hot I am Wednesday, October 17, 2012 6:03:38 PMTwitter Web Client
"you wha you guys opption that if a customer is cancel from a class, should they get a Appointment Cancellation email or a Class email?" Wednesday, October 17, 2012 5:22:53 PMTwitter Web Client
Tech Operations team here... They don't know their ass from their elbow. Fuck this shit I'm out. Tuesday, October 16, 2012 5:46:08 PMTwitter Web Client
Roasting my ass off here. It should be in the 40s/50s. Not 70. It was just 40. This is how people get sick Sunday, October 14, 2012 9:40:24 PMTwitter for Android
Finally: Stable is back to not sucking the ass Friday, October 12, 2012 3:07:25 PMTwitter Web Client
Gray haired baldy assed mother fucker Thursday, October 11, 2012 11:28:59 PMTwitter for Android
Yo. I'm so passed. Me and @BadPointer asked some sluts who looked older. One said him. Other said MW. Tiebreaker girl said HIM by 2years. Thursday, October 11, 2012 11:27:10 PMTwitter for Android
For the record, I'm pretty sure Eileen and Matt saw me grab the shit out of @MalJNew's ass. Whatever Thursday, October 11, 2012 10:58:16 PMTwitter for Android
Cheers to the homeless dude sitting ass naked on the floor in the grand central bathroom Thursday, October 11, 2012 10:11:28 PMTwitter for Android
JEREMY SPOKE IN CLASSSS TODAYYYYYY Thursday, October 11, 2012 8:16:07 PMTwitter for Android
Struttin that ass to pearl jam Thursday, October 11, 2012 7:43:20 PMTwitter for Android
STRUTTIN DAT ASS!!!! (@ Dakota Roadhouse w/ @maljnew) http://4sq.com/RjS49J Thursday, October 11, 2012 6:33:40 PMfoursquare
Walked out of a meeting with the VP of Engineering for a massage. Yeahhh buddy Thursday, October 11, 2012 3:54:26 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck all of the Bronx metro north stops in the ass with a tire iron. Waste of time. Use the fuckin subways instead. Monday, October 08, 2012 9:59:51 PMTwitter for Android
RT @__JLu: @portfolioso what a guy. #abuserslist #datass http://t.co/W0Y480To Monday, October 08, 2012 9:11:02 PMTwitter for Android
Ummmm. I'm strutting my ass in your diesels so get your blackest ass over to Woody's and visit me and Yuri and mal. Maybe I'll pose for you Sunday, October 07, 2012 11:30:57 PMTwitter for Android
Has anyone else ripped ass mid tweet, because I just did this now... Sunday, October 07, 2012 3:01:42 AMTwitter Web Client
I think I should be ripping ass into balloons and selling them as exploding pranks Sunday, October 07, 2012 2:55:14 AMTwitter Web Client
As the Mover would say, I'm gassy as a bastard Sunday, October 07, 2012 2:54:53 AMTwitter Web Client
Just grabbed and squeezed my own ass. It's nice. Wednesday, October 03, 2012 6:55:10 PMTwitter for Android
Nice to know that I forgot to close my plain text file of passwords as the auditor looked at my screen #FAIL Monday, October 01, 2012 1:57:32 PMTwitter Web Client
Yo. Where the fuck did i park? I don't think I can find it in this massive lot... http://t.co/W9y7gNS Friday, September 28, 2012 11:09:56 PMTwitter for Android
If I'm not the most interesting, crazy assed bitch you follow on twitter you're a lame. Friday, September 28, 2012 8:24:46 PMTwitter for Android
I'm sorry, but this Galaxy Nexus has a pussy horse shit assed weak radio that never gets the internets Friday, September 28, 2012 8:18:55 PMTwitter for Android
Also, I know I'm struttin that ass tonight, but I told Blagner that as good as my ass was, it was only a quarter good as hers. Friday, September 28, 2012 7:42:48 PMTwitter for Android
This bitch ass should not be wearing an exclusive company T-Shirt on the grounds that she's not doing the charity walk and didn't donate. Friday, September 28, 2012 10:00:42 AMTwitter Web Client
God fucking damnit. It has to start raining while I'm waiting for this late assed train? It couldn't wait a few more minutes? Friday, September 28, 2012 8:06:04 AMTwitter for Android
They don't play one bad song here at Dakota Bar. Ass struttin' music Wednesday, September 26, 2012 6:50:26 PMTwitter for Android
I don't care how good you are (even though you're not). If you can't use motherfuckin deodorant at work, I'm firing your filthy ass. Wednesday, September 26, 2012 12:24:00 PMTwitter Web Client
Phil Hughes' lips: "fuckin shit" fucking useless motherfucker shit ass struggling team. Not going fuckin anywhere in the post season. Tuesday, September 25, 2012 10:32:13 PMTwitter for Android
OHHHHHH Simmons just went for the ass. Saturday, September 22, 2012 12:06:08 AMTwitter for Android
Baileys, peach schnapps, blue curacao, and grenadine. Weird passed gray looking delicious passed shot. Weirdo Friday, September 21, 2012 11:33:23 PMTwitter for Android
Gonna strut that ass tomorrow Friday, September 21, 2012 12:25:14 AMTwitter Web Client
DLK is bending over under the table fixing some wires and dat ass in dem jeans is in my face Tuesday, September 18, 2012 10:26:26 AMTwitter for Android
Can't strut that ass? #ButUGotThatiPhone5Tho Friday, September 14, 2012 10:53:26 AMTwitter Web Client
Struttin that ass to the train station. Friday, September 14, 2012 7:48:00 AMTwitter for Android
How I explained what struttin that ass means to my dude @Colithika: http://t.co/FUfWIsS Friday, September 14, 2012 12:32:49 AMTwitter Web Client
Barack Obama jokeface is never capable of struttin that ass like I can. Neither is Mitt "dumbshit but fiscally better than obama" Romney Friday, September 14, 2012 12:31:10 AMTwitter Web Client
Struttin that ass for two days straight... I deserve internets Thursday, September 13, 2012 11:13:13 PMTwitter for Android
Can't play STP if I'm at the bar without me struttin that ass to the max. Duh you guys Thursday, September 13, 2012 9:25:49 PMTwitter for Android
Alice in chains on at the bar. Where is my xtina for a duet? Also, struttin that ass and getting laid. Duh Thursday, September 13, 2012 9:17:28 PMTwitter for Android
If the steel drums live version of Jane says comes on at the bar while I'm struttin that ass... I'm getting laid Thursday, September 13, 2012 8:53:50 PMTwitter for Android
Just gave @MalJNew a mystery shot of bud light and she legit accused me of pissing in a shot glass. @TaraCasanova recommended the shot Thursday, September 13, 2012 8:44:58 PMTwitter for Android
Leanin on a table. Ass out. Struttin' Thursday, September 13, 2012 8:18:05 PMTwitter for Android
Struttin that ass to 90s rock Thursday, September 13, 2012 8:13:25 PMTwitter for Android
Struttin that ass around the table. Duh Thursday, September 13, 2012 6:47:20 PMTwitter for Android
No seats left for me at the bar because I have to model my perfect ass, you guys. dat ass. Thursday, September 13, 2012 6:46:47 PMTwitter for Android
Struttin that ass to Dakota Bar Thursday, September 13, 2012 6:33:03 PMTwitter for Android
Struttin that ass on Broadway Thursday, September 13, 2012 3:20:36 PMTwitter Web Client
I know this video is two years old, but when you walk around all day struttin that ass like me, I'm allowed to post it: http://t.co/jZDLEpH Thursday, September 13, 2012 1:08:59 PMTwitter Web Client
Part 2 of struttin that ass begins now Thursday, September 13, 2012 7:57:13 AMTwitter for Android
Welp. Broke a class. Swear to God that never happens. Wednesday, September 12, 2012 9:48:37 PMTwitter for Android
Struttin that ass for Gina Marie and Anita Wednesday, September 12, 2012 8:49:06 PMTwitter for Android
Almost time to be struttin that ass to the bar Wednesday, September 12, 2012 5:33:49 PMTwitter Web Client
Struttin my ass around Tess's hood, talkin' to Casey. She said nice jeans. Completely forgot what I was talking about for 20 seconds HHHHHHH Wednesday, September 12, 2012 4:52:48 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm struttin that ass, you guys Wednesday, September 12, 2012 3:34:25 PMTwitter Web Client
just.. struttin that ass Wednesday, September 12, 2012 1:04:49 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm gonna go around the office today, struttin' that ass Wednesday, September 12, 2012 10:04:07 AMTwitter Web Client
Cisco was shocked to learn in a grad IS class that 70% of IT projects fail. DUH. This is something Chuntley taught us sophomore year #DSB Monday, September 10, 2012 9:31:16 AMTwitter Web Client
Dr. Joe... Hacking Windows passwords since '03 Friday, September 07, 2012 12:09:15 PMTwitter Web Client
Yo. I ate pizza with a ton of hot flake peppers on it last night and now my ass is on fire shitting it all out. Not #tmi Thursday, September 06, 2012 10:25:29 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: I'll Kick the Yankees in the Ass http://bit.ly/PZqqv4 Sunday, September 02, 2012 5:25:44 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
my boss also required me to have a beer to calm my ass Wednesday, August 29, 2012 8:07:33 PMTwitter for Android
Have I mentioned that jelly bean makes ice cream sandwich look like ass? Tuesday, August 28, 2012 11:28:43 PMTwitter for Android
Welp. Elise almost but my right nipple off, asshole. So she should get me a free fuckin hot dog Saturday, August 25, 2012 8:49:12 PMTwitter for Android
Gio: "Tell joe to eat my ass. I hope he gets hepatitis" Saturday, August 25, 2012 3:37:34 PMTwitter for Android
I am embarrassed at how out of practice I am at the power hour. Fuck I'm old Friday, August 24, 2012 9:31:25 PMTwitter for Android
@SonicBlur23 Since when does your black ass use twitter?
In reply to @SonicBlur23's tweet
Friday, August 24, 2012 6:10:28 PMTwitter Web Client
Jackie's chili was delicious but Jesus Christ, I'm ripping some putrid ass nonstop #tmi? Monday, August 20, 2012 12:42:34 AMTwitter for Android
Welp. @Onethirdof3x5 has ripped ass boxers just like me. Must be lessards fault. Sunday, August 19, 2012 2:09:15 AMTwitter for Android
@tomwcleary @keith_connors @smstemp clearly you fuckin asshole. Bring me boxers that actually cover my ass Sunday, August 19, 2012 1:45:48 AMTwitter for Android
Well. I'm pretty sure clearys got a full view of my ass. Considering lessard ripped my boxers in two Sunday, August 19, 2012 1:40:31 AMTwitter for Android
I'm also a fatass Thursday, August 16, 2012 10:31:24 AMTwitter Web Client
I hope the cops shot the asshole dead who is responsible for this Wednesday, August 15, 2012 9:58:46 PMTwitter for Android
I don't know why this fuckin garlic smelly motherfucker has to come sit up my ass in a two seater when there's an empty seat across from me Friday, August 10, 2012 8:05:15 AMTwitter for Android
The lines in this bitch ass McDonald's are longer than my dick Monday, August 06, 2012 10:38:32 PMTwitter for Android
"Non blocking connect for SYNC fired the event." can go fuck itself in the ass and bleed Monday, August 06, 2012 12:52:37 PMTwitter Web Client
Google Now makes stupid assed assumptions. Just bc I search for a place on maps doesn't mean it should show a card with traffic as a commute Monday, August 06, 2012 12:19:01 AMTwitter for Android
Derick: "grabbin that non existent ass" Cisco: "yeah man. Its like fucking an ironingboard" Friday, August 03, 2012 8:19:57 PMTwitter for Android
This Mexican next to me at the bar smells like shit ass Friday, August 03, 2012 7:38:06 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: iPhone 5 Speculators Are Jackasses http://t.co/78JmMl2 Friday, August 03, 2012 9:12:27 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
@dannyrob88 Google the translation asshole. Dope Sublime lyrics. I was responding to your 16 year tweet
In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet
Monday, July 30, 2012 5:42:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Yeah. Keep smoking asshole. I will get over it you'll be drunk and suck it so hard Saturday, July 28, 2012 4:01:55 PMTwitter for Android
Some dumbass thought the Tuckahoe station was called "Cockamo..." idiot. Wednesday, July 25, 2012 11:43:28 PMTwitter for Android
I need to stop confusing all the new hires who have a bit more melanin. FML, I made an ASS out of myself Wednesday, July 25, 2012 1:57:05 PMTwitter Web Client
Derick: "Yo this fuckin coffee tastes like ass" Wednesday, July 25, 2012 9:25:32 AMTwitter Web Client
PS - php kicked my ass tonight. Took me way too long to do the simplest bullshit, and it's still horse shit code. This is why I'm not a dev Tuesday, July 24, 2012 12:11:27 AMTwitter Web Client
Then they wonder why I won't vote for these two assholes in November http://t.co/V7242HL Thursday, July 19, 2012 2:33:40 AMTwitter Web Client
@mirrorfairfield Pay the fucking bill assholes "You currently owe $8.10. Please make a payment before 17 Jul 2012" Monday, July 16, 2012 10:34:38 AMTwitter Web Client
Dude with a Vineyard Vines sunglasses strap on his glasses here. Pure douchebaggery. Little piece of material is probably like $75 Monday, July 16, 2012 7:56:40 AMTwitter for Android
YOU KNOW FUCK THUS CUNT ASS TRAIN CONDUCTOR. THE ONE SEAT I PICK TO BE AWAY FROM EVERYONE HE KICKED ME OUT OF. his work area. Fuckin go away Friday, July 13, 2012 12:42:38 AMTwitter for Android
I have a soft spot for ace of bass. But not my dick Sunday, July 08, 2012 12:42:00 AMTwitter for Android
If you wear white pants and have a good ass, I'll probably want to bang you, even if you're a butterface Friday, July 06, 2012 9:03:32 AMTwitter Web Client
Just ripped ass. iI think it smelled like Jameson Thursday, July 05, 2012 5:21:15 PMTwitter Web Client
Maybe I'm just a linux dumbass, but I can't stand vim. I'm a nano guy. The real Linux dudes look at me like I'm out of my mind. Tuesday, July 03, 2012 1:00:19 AMTwitter Web Client
No patience for these fucking slow ass elevators this morning Monday, July 02, 2012 8:59:50 AMTwitter for Android
Alexey: "So what did you drink tonight, beer?" Me: "Why are you assuming I was out drinking" Alexey: "But it's true, right?" Thursday, June 28, 2012 1:58:58 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm at the bar and can't remember my boobspace password Wednesday, June 27, 2012 11:10:48 PMTwitter for Android
Oh... fuck. Me.. I thought I could pass out. We have server maintenance tonight Monday, June 25, 2012 11:33:32 PMTwitter for Android
Ladies and gentlemen.... Elise's ass http://t.co/I1yHRI6 Monday, June 25, 2012 10:03:43 PMTwitter for Android
Why the fuck do we pay a motherless office manager if we run the fuck out of milk for this dank assed coffee. Monday, June 18, 2012 10:17:46 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm at Nassau Bar (New York, NY) http://4sq.com/KUBN81 Friday, June 08, 2012 10:16:10 PMfoursquare
Trains running like ass this morning. Too crowded. Too many people. I suggest genocide... Of people who walk too slowly. Friday, June 08, 2012 9:30:05 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuck this hipster with hipster glasses and his entourage of hot girls Friday, June 08, 2012 8:12:47 AMTwitter for Android
Ain't nothing wrong with a little sass for the COO. Especially when you've got em by the balls. Although I do want his swagger. So hot. Friday, June 08, 2012 12:19:34 AMTwitter Web Client
Someones ripping ass here so badly and its NOT ne Thursday, June 07, 2012 7:45:02 PMTwitter for Android
Motherfuckers who swipe their metrocard, walk through the turnstyle and then stop/talk so no one else can pass... die. Wednesday, June 06, 2012 6:49:04 PMTwitter for Android
Welp. That's the first bitch I pissed off grabbing her ass. This is bullshit. They all should like it Friday, June 01, 2012 9:05:45 PMTwitter for Android
Why is working with date/time in php a mother fucking pain in the ass? Wednesday, May 30, 2012 12:54:04 AMTwitter Web Client
Whoa. The ass on this one. Thursday, May 24, 2012 2:57:58 PMTwitter for Android
Niraj: "Don't give let him bring a magnifying glass! He should bring a guitar! He'll get laid" NIRAJ! The kid's 6 Tuesday, May 22, 2012 1:37:41 AMTwitter Web Client
I know gio's got that ass instead of me. The fact i can make a motherfuker jealous means im better. Friday, May 18, 2012 11:23:58 PMTwitter for Android
Yes bartender. You get it. If you put ice down my hairy assed Italian chest every woman wants, you get a better tip Friday, May 18, 2012 10:30:07 PMTwitter for Android
Also, Elise's ass is good but Idk. Like... I refrained from slapping it on cinco for mad respect, but she knows she likes it. Friday, May 18, 2012 12:16:59 AMTwitter for Android
IFassholes waste your entire morning, just kick back, stare at the hot new office manager and eat Grandma's chicken cutlet sangwich. WINNING Monday, May 14, 2012 12:34:11 PMTwitter Web Client
Just ripped ass so loudly accidentally on this train. Whoopsie Wednesday, May 09, 2012 12:33:15 AMTwitter for Android
Lennon officially accused me of bruising her ass on Facebook and my boss replied "Oh My" BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Monday, May 07, 2012 12:52:33 AMTwitter Web Client
The Galaxy S III looks sexy, but Samsung doesn't get it. Touchwiz sucks and they still used a halfassed camera and pentile display Friday, May 04, 2012 1:16:40 AMTwitter Web Client
This British assed train conductor is also the conductor on the 8am train. Wtf. Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:13:36 AMTwitter for Android
Let him take his shot? I wasn't anywhere near you, asshole. Fuck is this, professional pool? Your a a bar you dick. Wednesday, May 02, 2012 8:56:50 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella You're delusional. Jeter looks like an old bag. Doesn't age my ass... He was a child in the 90s
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Monday, April 30, 2012 8:48:04 PMTwitter for Android
Pretty sure Alexey sabotaged the build server before passing it off to me and then said enjoy. Monday, April 30, 2012 8:01:08 AMTwitter for Android
New blog post: UI Idiots at Google Love Ugly Assed Whitespace http://bit.ly/JssPNP Saturday, April 28, 2012 3:03:14 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
@L8to89 kind of. Asshole.
In reply to @L8to89's tweet
Monday, April 23, 2012 8:45:40 PMTwitter for Android
"She wasn't gonna clean his ass for nothing..." Sunday, April 22, 2012 6:54:29 PMTwitter for Android
Netta, get your ass back from cali (@ The Watering Hole) http://4sq.com/JwdZp0 Saturday, April 21, 2012 7:18:31 PMfoursquare
The local assed train ... Saturday, April 21, 2012 2:26:49 AMTwitter for Android
Seriously, who would eat bar peanuts. People like spit in their hands, sneeze, wipe their asses. Then grab some. Nast Thursday, April 19, 2012 8:13:28 PMTwitter for Android
I'm convinced to make this Joomla shit work for this asshole. Whoever decided to go with cloud sites over a cloud server was a jokeface Monday, April 16, 2012 7:43:39 PMTwitter Web Client
All these cocksuckers need to go back on vacation. No seats on this bitch ass train. Monday, April 16, 2012 8:09:14 AMTwitter for Android
I can draw pimp assed unicorns: http://t.co/ZLPh0oS Monday, April 16, 2012 1:36:27 AMTwitter for Android
Phil Hughes. You suck ass Saturday, April 14, 2012 2:26:33 PMTwitter Web Client
The mother fuckin purple ass. Holy shit. Its prime Friday, April 13, 2012 11:58:11 PMTwitter for Android
I must find Donald Trump's assistant Amanda and potato sack her. Tuesday, April 10, 2012 12:22:02 AMTwitter for Android
Bring me this Kate Upton Easter bunny ass. http://t.co/vSeE23k Monday, April 09, 2012 1:11:27 AMTwitter Web Client
@MalJNew how do you know. I thought you'd be passed out by now.
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Sunday, April 08, 2012 3:37:57 PMTwitter for Android
Lass is a sluttface http://t.co/Y5WbW7R Saturday, April 07, 2012 11:44:54 AMTwitter Web Client
Once again , fuck the MTA in the ass. Not only is this a short ass train to begin with, but they have 4 cars closed off for no reason. Saturday, April 07, 2012 12:54:11 AMTwitter for Android
So is drinking out of a glass jar with a straw through a hole drilled in the lid supposed to be cool these days? F'in hipsters. Thursday, April 05, 2012 8:08:25 AMTwitter for Android
I love how I get stuck on a train next to a guy with a shit ass. Theres also sewer problems here. Wednesday, April 04, 2012 7:06:44 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking sales people sending Daniel dramatic emails about how our system is busted.He was up my ass all day today anyway. I don't need this Wednesday, April 04, 2012 6:07:54 PMTwitter Web Client
That hot girl in your class who gets A’s on everything and makes you feel like you are the biggest fucking idiot in the world. Wednesday, April 04, 2012 3:10:09 AMTwitter Web Client
Wow... One of our customers just found a good assed bug on our mobile site. Nice! I'm gonna send that shit to my Ukranians to fix overnight Wednesday, April 04, 2012 1:52:22 AMTwitter Web Client
RT @DEVOPS_BORAT: In devops we are never assign blame, we are just try of find out how the fuck it happen. Monday, April 02, 2012 11:36:49 PMTwitter for Android
No winder this depressing ass place is closing shame Monday, April 02, 2012 8:32:46 PMTwitter for Android
@VtotheFlo ironic of you to retweet that. Don't you brag about how classy you are nonstop? Sunday, April 01, 2012 9:20:16 PMTwitter for Android
I would have slapped Elise's ass so hard but she's on to me... gotta keep a low profile. Even though she likes it. Friday, March 30, 2012 10:30:01 PMTwitter for Android
Marry fuck kill with Lennon and Niraj is fuckin classic Friday, March 30, 2012 9:18:14 PMTwitter for Android
I'm at Nassau Bar (New York, NY) http://4sq.com/HANQ62 Friday, March 30, 2012 8:40:07 PMfoursquare
"Is always reliefs when Selenium test is pass always one day before release" Friday, March 23, 2012 10:59:12 AMTwitter Web Client
What kind of a fake assed Dunkin Donuts runs out of iced coffee... Thursday, March 22, 2012 5:23:02 PMTwitter Web Client
@ShavingFoams @Novellabella May I suggest scheduling some pole dancing classes? http://www.secure-booker.com/respectapole/MakeAppointment/Results.aspx
In reply to @ShavingFoams's tweet
Thursday, March 22, 2012 2:05:45 AMTwitter Web Client
Thank you reddit for unintentionally teaching me what pitted keratolysis is. Assholes. BRB while I vomit. Thursday, March 22, 2012 2:02:46 AMTwitter Web Client
@michellemm22 If anyone asks me for account passwords, I would never work there. That's insanity.
In reply to @michellemm22's tweet
Tuesday, March 20, 2012 11:39:14 AMTwitter Web Client
Bahahahah pussy assed bouncer kept thinking I'd fall off the swing on the bar..... guy doesn't know my upper body swag Friday, March 16, 2012 11:25:32 PMTwitter for Android
god damn it @MalJNew stop getting lipstick on my boss... guy is a classy gentlemen. Fuckin homewrecker... doesn't even cheat. Bunch of bs Friday, March 16, 2012 11:05:14 PMTwitter for Android
Sooooo. When I'm Sam's age.... I Better be as much of a baller as he is... wife and all... total baller. Struttin that ass. Friday, March 16, 2012 10:35:25 PMTwitter for Android
What's this bullshit our C02 has a hole in it... Can we not get ghetto ass kegs in this office?! Friday, March 16, 2012 6:52:54 PMTwitter Web Client
Bring me Trump's assistant Amanda. Tuesday, March 13, 2012 1:02:06 AMTwitter for Android
What a dumbass: http://t.co/79FkXXr Monday, March 12, 2012 2:14:29 AMTwitter Web Client
Would be nice if this giant ass bruise on my arm disappeared. it's over a week and i look like I got hit by a train Saturday, March 10, 2012 1:29:50 AMTwitter Web Client
Derick:" WEST COAST RAP IS ASS" Friday, March 09, 2012 8:17:48 PMTwitter for Android
Change of plans... Elise's ass Friday, March 09, 2012 7:42:33 PMTwitter for Android
My twitter: only useful for foursquare checkins, rants and updates about wagner's ass Friday, March 09, 2012 2:57:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Wagner needs to stop walking by my desk if she wants her ass to not be stared at anymore. This is ridiculous Friday, March 09, 2012 2:56:44 PMTwitter Web Client
See.. They searched my bag... But they missed the gat in my belt... Dumbasses. Thursday, March 08, 2012 12:42:25 AMTwitter Web Client
is HBO fuckin retarded? Who gives a fuck about the McCain/Palin election?. No one wants to watch this shit. http://t.co/UPmassp Wednesday, March 07, 2012 11:49:52 PMTwitter for Android
Like if I could do anything right now, I'd be broin' out, playing cards and ripping ass. Then going to the racetrack the next day Wednesday, March 07, 2012 11:03:17 PMTwitter for Android
PROTIP: Make sure your automated backups DO NOT backup the backup files. #imsuchadumbass #awfulsysadmin Wednesday, March 07, 2012 10:46:45 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm at Kortako (80 Nassau St, btwn John & Fulton, New York) http://4sq.com/zvjXBs Tuesday, March 06, 2012 1:39:08 PMfoursquare
Woooooo! Go Stags! Sucks I couldn't make it to massachusetts this year! Sunday, March 04, 2012 4:16:20 PMTwitter for Android
I think I lost all credibility from those last two tweets... I should be out smacking babes asses up in Springfield with the guys Saturday, March 03, 2012 10:04:24 PMTwitter Web Client
Disney Cruise ship just passed by! NYC! Friday, March 02, 2012 5:12:46 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm at Nicky's Vietnamese Sandwiches (99-C Nassau St., at Ann St., New York) http://4sq.com/xBZWoP Tuesday, February 28, 2012 12:50:07 PMfoursquare
I'm testing these apostrophe's stupid asses. "Also, this is in quotes" Fucking character encoding, breaking my scripts. ' ' " " Monday, February 27, 2012 3:57:40 AMTwitter Web Client
It's like 3AM. No one is on the road. Shut the fucking sirens off. Lights would be enough. Asses. Saturday, February 25, 2012 2:53:53 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm at Nassau Bar (118 Nassau St., New York) http://4sq.com/zrAzo2 Friday, February 24, 2012 7:11:12 PMfoursquare
New blog post: Dumbass Experts Over at LifeHacker Think They Know How to Send Back Food http://bit.ly/wLpMWL Thursday, February 23, 2012 9:36:26 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
Bluetooth is a fucking pain in the ass! Monday, February 20, 2012 7:48:32 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Another Reason I'm Glad I Left SurpassHosting http://t.co/hi5XNVj Monday, February 20, 2012 5:43:15 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
Shit. I hope she doesn't follow me on twitter and can see my tweets. I mean if she can, fuck it but it would be 10% more embarrassing. Saturday, February 18, 2012 6:22:11 PMTwitter for Android
@nyJULZmd nah fuck that. That's a pussy assed phone. The galaxy nexus is better
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
Saturday, February 18, 2012 3:24:29 PMTwitter for Android
I'm jealous of Allison's limited edition Galaxy Nexus battery cover bc she works at Google. I have the bitch ass Verizon cover Saturday, February 18, 2012 1:05:22 PMTwitter for Android
I mean... it wouldn't be terrible if Romney, gingrich and santorum were all assassinated.... *FBI peeps - this is a joke Thursday, February 16, 2012 9:51:21 PMTwitter for Android
Bahahaha. This bros got a massage therapy licence in Puerto Rico, has great hands and has been giving massages since 12. Quote of the month! Wednesday, February 15, 2012 6:55:17 PMTwitter for Android
I'm at Nassau Bar w/ @maljnew http://4sq.com/A87KZ5 Wednesday, February 15, 2012 6:30:11 PMfoursquare
@tomwcleary @Onethirdof3x5 need something corrected on @mirrorfairfield's shitty ass website? That can be arranged.
In reply to @tomwcleary's tweet
Sunday, February 12, 2012 10:02:13 PMTwitter for Android
And to think, the weak assed FUSA politicians and feeble budget couldn't get T Swift to Fairfield. Woof. Sunday, February 12, 2012 9:45:46 PMTwitter for Android
Can't believe new Rochelle got some new cop cars. Used to be pussy assed light blue. Now they're pretty baller. Sunday, February 12, 2012 2:27:19 AMTwitter for Android
I'm at Nicky's Vietnamese Sandwiches (99-C Nassau St., at Ann St., New York) w/ 2 others http://4sq.com/x2StpR Tuesday, February 07, 2012 1:08:59 PMfoursquare
I think ijusr slapped Wagner in the ass. Omg.in so fired. I mean. Kelsyes hotter buy funk em . I mean. Mollys good too Friday, February 03, 2012 6:12:08 PMTwitter for Android
This giant ugly bitch needs to stop talking about how her shits back up a lot and taking massive dumps. Tuesday, January 31, 2012 8:57:57 AMTwitter for Android
@mich_amore so sassy ;)
In reply to @mich_amore's tweet
Wednesday, January 25, 2012 1:04:41 AMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Liberty is Gone: The Gov't Can Force You to Reveal Encryption Passwords http://t.co/7HB2JVq Monday, January 23, 2012 11:44:30 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
Protip: unfiltered sake is sweeter but it honestly looks like the bartender shit a load in my shot glass Wednesday, January 18, 2012 10:48:44 PMTwitter for Android
Thank you MLK Jr. for delaying payday. Asshole. Monday, January 16, 2012 10:11:21 AMTwitter Web Client
This train depresses me. Its full of fine pieces of ass I will never have Saturday, January 14, 2012 1:52:09 AMTwitter for Android
Jesus christ these sliders are non. And they didn't come out of anyone's ass Friday, January 13, 2012 10:36:01 PMTwitter for Android
Yeah... the sliders came right out of his ass in the bathroom... -Derick Friday, January 13, 2012 10:13:30 PMTwitter for Android
RT @DEVOPS_BORAT: Secret of success is hire people which are more smartass than you. Friday, January 06, 2012 1:00:46 PMTwitter Web Client
Fucking Facebook isn't working right. I can't get pictures of me tagged to show up right. Assholes Wednesday, January 04, 2012 2:53:40 AMTwitter Web Client
@michellemm22 @__JLu they changed twitters bc they're microns and didn't know how to reset a password so they made a new one. Disaster.
In reply to @michellemm22's tweet
Monday, January 02, 2012 9:16:12 PMTwitter for Android
I can't think of a better way to bring in the new year than drinking out of a shot glass that has an ass and titties Saturday, December 31, 2011 11:30:21 PMTwitter for Android
My ass hurts from sitting on my wallet because it's too full #firstworldproblems Tuesday, December 27, 2011 6:28:31 PMTwitter Web Client
If SOPA passes, I will become an anarchist and terrorist. Wednesday, December 21, 2011 11:46:11 PMTwitter Web Client
Dat. Ass. Wednesday, December 21, 2011 10:19:17 PMTwitter for Android
@BriBTC I've been saying Dolan was an asshole since 2002. It's old news.
In reply to @BriBTC's tweet
Friday, December 16, 2011 3:48:24 PMTwitter Web Client
@scoopANDslam Those stupid ass bronx stops where like 2 doors open piss me off. It's NYC. You don't need Metro North. Take a subway instead
In reply to @scoopANDslam's tweet
Tuesday, December 13, 2011 5:59:58 PMTwitter Web Client
lol: "where's that accent from?" cop: "whereever you want it to be from" classic answer. get. it. in Saturday, December 10, 2011 2:21:40 AMtxt
Jasmine? Jassssmine! Tuesday, December 06, 2011 8:51:21 AMtxt
Someone. Bring. Me. This. Bitch. Ass. Phone: http://t.co/FmaSBHL Thursday, December 01, 2011 1:51:18 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm a fucking dumbass. Just spent 15 minutes trying to figure out why I couldn't connect to my cloud server and it was PeerBlock. #fail Tuesday, November 22, 2011 10:24:23 PMTwitter Web Client
This guy's such a fucking badass that we need to elect him immediately: http://t.co/Msp6UHp Monday, November 21, 2011 9:20:57 PMTwitter Web Client
I just unlocked the "Bento" badge on @foursquare! Irasshaimase! http://4sq.com/uJt6MG Friday, November 18, 2011 7:16:44 PMfoursquare
This baby that's crying his ass off in France is driving me crazy over Skype.. STFU Tuesday, November 15, 2011 2:49:13 AMTwitter Web Client

Geek stats: Page generated in 78.25 ms