3716 results for fuck


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Tweet Date Source
@AEPOhio how many goddamn times is the power going to go out? The fuck is this, a third world country? Thursday, June 13, 2019 1:31:48 PMTwitter for Android
My dad has an Technics from the 70s. Magnetic drive. Can't kill that thing. Today, these fuckin hipster designers think it's cool to make a $350 manual turntable with 0 bells and whistles.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, June 11, 2019 11:23:40 AMTwitter Web App
Every couple years you need to buy a new belt. The fuck kind of shit is that about? Why is it so expensive? Is the sound quality really that good? There are $100 turntables with speed levers and auto-return arms.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, June 11, 2019 11:23:40 AMTwitter Web App
Do better, Ohio. We need to get these intolerant assholes the fuck outta hea. Cut this shit out canceling harmless events and making. Haters hating for no reason https://t.co/YOIdVk8uW1 Sunday, June 02, 2019 2:35:25 AMTwitter for Android
The dumb @EPA idiots are at it again. The fucking corn lobby... Ethanol has a lower energy content, so even if the gas is cheaper, you'd just burn it quicker... And it increases smog. Air pollution causes heart disease, cunts.

https://t.co/2eBZvK6QrO
Saturday, June 01, 2019 2:24:54 AMTwitter for Android
The asshole @EPA thinks it's a good idea to triple the allowed level of thyroid disrupting perchlorates in drinking water.

Fuckin assholes. Gotta protect those company profits! Doesn't matter that everyone's getting cancer.

https://t.co/IwaJAZUJsR
Friday, May 24, 2019 10:01:20 PMTwitter for Android
Shit. Gotta go back to work. I'm fuckin goooooooddd right now. Jesus. Tuesday, May 14, 2019 3:04:07 PMTwitter for Android
If you don't think my fat fuckin ass is eating a Premio sausage and pep tonight at the Stadium, you're sorely mistaken. Tuesday, May 14, 2019 2:56:56 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ, @MikeDeWine. You're going to force this this poor 11 year old rape victim to give birth to this rapist piece of shit's child? Deny her of a proper childhood and teen years because some shithead raped her against her will? Get the Fuck lost

https://t.co/uifIcrkjkc
Monday, May 13, 2019 10:47:06 PMTwitter for Android
You've gotta be outside your mind to even consider a Facebook Portal. Fuck that. It's like giving those cagey bastards a portal into your living room. Sneaky ass Zuck with his garbage security, spying on you. Fuckouttahea. Tuesday, May 07, 2019 2:00:00 AMTwitter for Android
I hate all these motherfuckers at work Thursday, May 02, 2019 11:32:53 AMTwitter Web Client
Wifey is binge watching Russian Doll and now I have this fucking song stuck in my head. It's so annoying

https://t.co/CADoPIbT1i
Thursday, May 02, 2019 10:31:57 AMTwitter Web Client
Last fucking time I buy SHIT off an Instagram ad. Never seen more garbage dumpster companies selling such low quality shit and no regard for customer service. Fucking Facebook. They ruin everything. Instagram used to be decent Wednesday, May 01, 2019 5:05:35 PMTwitter Web Client
But according to Republicans, there is no global warming, glyphosate isn't a carcinogen, beautiful clean coal is good, windmills cause cancer and it's cool to unprotect millions of acres of parks to drill for fucking oil.

Drop dead in 2019 and get educated.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, May 01, 2019 3:04:33 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck the fuckin EPA. Might as well abolish it and save money if they're not going to do dick to help the environment
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, May 01, 2019 3:01:38 AMTwitter for Android
United States is the fucking laughingstock of the world with its broadband speeds. For such a developed nation, why are we so behind everyone else?
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, May 01, 2019 2:50:49 AMTwitter for Android
Hey @AjitPaiFCC ... This is fucking deplorable. So you increase investment and require that 40% of ~441k rural locations get 25/3 MBPS brodband by the end 2022? This is an embarrassment. 1) those speeds stink. 2) 2022 is a long way off https://t.co/O9tDz1o4Pi Wednesday, May 01, 2019 2:49:29 AMTwitter for Android
Wow, this fuckin guy really let himself go. Aged like shit in just 5 years. Guess this is what happens when you're a terrorist asshole living in a cave in some shithole https://t.co/FxqzCkxpWu Monday, April 29, 2019 5:56:08 PMTwitter Web Client
Ansible is driving me fucking bananas right now Sunday, April 28, 2019 2:03:08 AMTwitter Web Client
Then you have @Starbucks taking away all my stars. I just joined the loyalty program last month and they changed it? The FUCK?!?!?? Friday, April 19, 2019 2:26:32 AMTwitter for Android
You know what the problem is these days with MLB? Players aren't ripping coke and amphetamines anymore. Look at the 86 Mets. Savage team. Now everyone's a fuckin weakling on the injured list
https://t.co/ZEXgJryais
Saturday, April 13, 2019 1:11:32 PMTwitter for Android
Cue the old dad here, but I just don't understand how kids these days are obsessed with Billie Eilish. She's not that good. And has Dave Grohl lost his fucking mind comparing her to Nirvana? Maybe the movement she created, but the music stinks. Music today STINKS. Tuesday, April 09, 2019 8:59:58 AMTwitter Web Client
Jesus Christ on the cross. Powershell is fucking convoluted sometimes: https://t.co/bV99olykPa Friday, April 05, 2019 3:00:15 AMTwitter Web Client
I have no idea how my work email address gets signed up for every possible tech product marketing email list under the sun, but if you have to start an email with "sorry for the unsolicited email"

1) Go fuck yourself
2) DELETED https://t.co/Xnn2SMAzhe
Wednesday, April 03, 2019 10:22:43 AMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: The Yankees are a Fucking Disaster https://t.co/bwSsV5von1 Monday, April 01, 2019 5:21:23 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
Fuckin guy I work with couldn't even figure out how to create a github account. HOW DO WE HIRE THESE PEOPLE? Monday, April 01, 2019 3:33:28 PMTwitter Web App
For fucks sake. If I would have started Peralta in the outfield instead of garbage Nimmo on the shit ass Mets, I would have won fantasy baseball this week. Sunday, March 31, 2019 8:09:22 PMTwitter for Android
Hey @realDonaldTrump: go fuck yourself
https://t.co/V2sUqrGdya
Sunday, March 31, 2019 3:11:51 PMTwitter for Android
I'm all for less government regulation, but this fuckin HACK @AjitPaiFCC is a corporate shill moron. So it's okay for ISPs to allow paid traffic prioritization and other nonsense, but not for the government to tell ISPs to treat all traffic equally? Suck it https://t.co/ZqrXyrYR4Y Friday, March 29, 2019 10:03:59 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck this shit.. we need to ban glypohosate NOW https://t.co/h5T6GwWgkU Saturday, March 23, 2019 4:51:17 AMTwitter for Android
The fucking IRS didn't waste any time taking my damn money. I scheduled a payment for Monday, 3/25 and they drafted it from my account RIGHT NOW. At 2:30 AM on a Saturday #eatadick Saturday, March 23, 2019 2:42:08 AMTwitter for Android
Absolute savage. Just took a leak and the urinal cake smells better. For fucks sake
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, March 21, 2019 9:12:10 PMTwitter for Android
Welp, there goes the fuckin bracket... Thursday, March 21, 2019 6:59:00 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin jackass https://t.co/oLCbXrUlq7 Sunday, March 10, 2019 12:51:54 AMTwitter Web Client
This is an example of an old white ignoramus fuck who needs to leave politics. Can't have his hatred around anymore
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, February 24, 2019 12:17:57 AMTwitter for Android
TurboTax, are you SERIOUS? Donate $3 to the Presidential Campaign fund? Fuck outta hea. Motherfuckers already have pacs. I'm not paying the shit ass government any extra money.

1) The president is an asshole
2) I owe $4000 in taxes b/c my withholdings got fucked up

#eatadick https://t.co/0rXKFyhaEU
Thursday, February 21, 2019 12:32:15 AMTwitter Web Client
I mean, rather than building a useless fucking wall that will be tunneled under, how about you take top engineers and make it do something useful. Ya know, create green energy and green energy jobs... https://t.co/EFz0JeaIZP Friday, February 15, 2019 12:21:23 AMTwitter Web Client
I have a junior DevOps engineer under me who is too goddamn feeble to understand my superior scripts and is making me rewrite everything I did using a more halfassed method because he can't understand my code.

#fuckouttahea
Saturday, February 09, 2019 1:58:14 AMTwitter Web Client
The @epa is a dumpster fire organization. Seriously, fuck off. You're supposed to protect us from things that make us sick, idiots.

https://t.co/6cQ8Tnp48y
Friday, February 08, 2019 3:34:58 AMTwitter for Android
Seriously... Fuck @Oracle and Java for their licensing BULLSHIT. Switch to .NET Core instead

https://t.co/L9PCsqCyZs
Tuesday, February 05, 2019 12:07:26 AMTwitter Web Client
Honestly don't even care if this subsidy exists or not because it doesn't affect me but FUCK Ajit Pai. I hope he never gets what he wants because he's a jagoff fuckface
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, February 04, 2019 6:54:46 PMTwitter for Android
Get a load of this hick assed motherfucker. This is a professor at an institution if higher learning? GET LAWST. What an ignoramus. Should have let the south secede... https://t.co/pRCHgh0uyI Sunday, February 03, 2019 12:41:22 PMTwitter for Android
Get your kids vaccinated, you stupid fucks. What if your dumbass antivaxxer ways killed a sick, innocent cancer patient with no immune system?

Washington is under a state of emergency as measles cases rise @CNN https://t.co/o1MgH8qUOm
Saturday, January 26, 2019 10:58:21 PMTwitter for Android
I hope the fucks doing this electrocute themselves https://t.co/wFAdlF15Y9 via @Teslarati Saturday, January 26, 2019 7:21:38 PMTwitter for Android
This country can suck a fucking dick Friday, January 25, 2019 1:20:08 AMTwitter Web Client
By all means, get this fuckin guy off the Yankees https://t.co/b3mflrdWqq Saturday, January 19, 2019 1:37:50 PMTwitter for Android
I spent an ungodly am amount of money on fuckin LED Christmas lights and now that I'm putting them away, half the sets half light up. Fucking pieces of shit Thursday, January 17, 2019 1:45:42 AMTwitter for Android
My company takes so goddamn long to approve my travel that the flights go up $200 by the time I'm able to book it

Fucking morons. Their inefficiency costs them
Sunday, January 06, 2019 2:22:38 AMTwitter Web Client
What a fuckin jagoff @AjitPaiFCC https://t.co/BXlf52LwiC Wednesday, January 02, 2019 5:30:01 PMTwitter for Android
I'm the fuckin worst at beer pong. Legit hit 2 cups all 2019. Well. I have 17 years to practice before been okays. Gotta be a cool pops Tuesday, January 01, 2019 3:18:31 AMTwitter for Android
Bunch of fucking morons over at the @epa. The EPA is in favor of giving people cancer. #eatadick https://t.co/IXiZxcMO1e Saturday, December 29, 2018 11:20:50 PMTwitter for Android
Good. Fuck coal
https://t.co/AENqTrWOlc #greenenergy #feedly
Wednesday, December 12, 2018 2:26:07 PMTwitter Web Client
Bunch of dumb motherfuckers over at the @EPA relaxing coal regulations. Fuck coal, that's some 1800s shit. Can we promote greener energy in 2018 for fucks sake? Sunday, December 09, 2018 10:17:08 AMTwitter for Android
The fuck wants to open new coal plants? What a bunch of dumb bastards. It's almost 2019. That's some 1800s shit https://t.co/YsUaFJmdQU Thursday, December 06, 2018 9:44:40 AMTwitter for Android
BARRY O KNOWS WTF IS UP. Fucking politics, man. You have two sides living in two different fantasy worlds (but one side is also dumb af)

https://t.co/EuKg9bPBhr
Wednesday, November 28, 2018 11:42:57 PMTwitter for Android
Something has to be done about how buggy everything is these days. Google, Android, Microsoft... Nothing fucking works right.

https://t.co/GxMZbsfoAU https://t.co/qATBCUmhze
Sunday, November 25, 2018 5:28:33 PMTwitter for Android
Hey Google this bug is back again you dumb motherfuckers. Doesn't anyone test this shit? Android auto is completely unusable.

https://t.co/Gpsq6Dkv9e
Friday, November 23, 2018 1:00:24 AMTwitter for Android
Send the fucking bitch who did this to these poor dogs foot first through a wood chipper: https://t.co/KS0VYTxgui Tuesday, November 20, 2018 7:07:44 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckssake with the plastic in the ocean already... https://t.co/YZ6IcGJF6J Tuesday, November 20, 2018 2:35:28 PMTwitter Web Client
MTA website still uses the <font> tag... This was deprecated in the HTML 4.01 specification, which was published in 1999...

Fuckssake
Wednesday, November 14, 2018 1:11:13 AMTwitter Web Client
Spectrum is a fucking terrible ISP... Nationwide outage (again), prices increasing, and it's $65/month for 100mbps that doesn't go faster than 80mbps and they claim there's nothing else they can do to get it to reach the advertised speeds

Hey @AjitPaiFCC - eat a dick, fuckface
Friday, November 09, 2018 1:54:49 AMTwitter for Android
Hey @AjitPaiFCC: go fuck yourself!

https://t.co/07BfQwzklD
Monday, November 05, 2018 10:17:58 PMTwitter for Android
My Surfacebook takes 10 minutes to boot, no exaggeration.

Yes, I checked startup programs. Yes, I ran sfc and dsim... Yes, I have plenty of disk space and it's an SSD. No fix in sight.

#fuckssake
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, October 29, 2018 3:27:36 AMTwitter Web Client
Keep it up and I quit. I'm going to move to the backwoods and give up all modern technology. Just disappear off the radar and become a lumberjack in Alaska like fuckin Dexter (what a garbage ending btw)
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, October 29, 2018 1:37:47 AMTwitter for Android
We are so technologically advanced as a society, yet nothing fucking has good user experience and I'm motherfucking sick of it.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, October 29, 2018 1:36:10 AMTwitter for Android
Fucking Microsoft and it's Windows 10 updates 1) Deleting people's files 2) Intel pushing bad audio drivers through Windows updates

Why? They are more concerned with stupid fucking features like 3D paint.

Get the fuck out of here. Will you assholes release stable shit?
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, October 29, 2018 1:35:11 AMTwitter for Android
Missed my entire fucking Halloween party because I recommended against something but my boss made us do it anyway at 7PM on Friday and then another asshole engineer broke the cluster and boom, 5 hours wasted.

Everyone can eat a dick
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, October 29, 2018 1:33:00 AMTwitter for Android
Waze and Android Auto? Garbage UX and bugs

Samsung Smart TVs? Beautiful displays, garbage software

Google Play Movies sends me a note that the upgraded a movie to 4K for free. And it doesn't fucking play
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, October 29, 2018 1:31:02 AMTwitter for Android
Jesus Fucking Christ, @Microsoft... I get a weird RDP error and clicking the help button opens a Bing search on how to use RDP, rather than providing useful info on the error? This is an insult to my intelligence. Do you think I'm a greenhorn? https://t.co/kv1Tye8XpE Saturday, October 27, 2018 1:38:33 AMTwitter Web Client
Apparently, anything 70-100 MBPS is considered normal. Meanwhile, they offer 300MBPS service, so what the actual fuck. This goes to show me @Ask_Spectrum is specifically limiting the speed to 85 MBPS to save bandwidth.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, October 17, 2018 9:59:45 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm in a fight with fuckin Spectrum again for providing speeds 20-50 Mbps lower than they promise. Getting the absolute runaround Thursday, October 11, 2018 12:03:55 PMTwitter for Android
Whose dick do I have to suck to find orange LED light bulbs... Fuckssake they're sold out everywhere Monday, October 08, 2018 11:48:39 AMTwitter Web Client
It's too goddamn hot in October these days. Fuckssake @EPA @GOP and @realDonaldTrump you climate change denying cunts https://t.co/U84MP7Zaci Sunday, October 07, 2018 8:32:52 PMTwitter for Android
Google Chrome is a piece of shit browser. It's fucking slow. It's a memory hog. Boy how it's gotten shitty in 10 years. it sucks at HighDPI support on windows. Both Firefox and Edge are faster.

@googlechrome FUCKING DO BETTER
Wednesday, September 05, 2018 1:28:19 PMTwitter Web Client
The fact that Azure doesn't offer native CentOS 7 VMs is fucking baffling. It's 2018. I'm dealing with legacy 6.x shit. Wednesday, August 29, 2018 10:59:03 AMTwitter Web Client
Yo these Vorticon Elite can suck my absolute dick. This level is a pain in the balls. Not only do I have to navigate fire, there are three of these fuckers who jump and take 3 shots to kill. Plus Keen 1-3 controls are awful https://t.co/8rS5tIE72F Monday, August 27, 2018 12:27:06 PMTwitter Web Client
When I find the motherfucker who stole my gas tank cap, I'm going to be plugging their asshole shut with it Tuesday, August 21, 2018 10:47:17 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck you @MonsantoCo !!! Friday, August 10, 2018 8:45:16 PMTwitter for Android
Y'all just need to get the fuck out of there. The entire metro area. Just leave. Pure savagery.

https://t.co/Aj1Cxw7Xjy
Friday, August 10, 2018 4:16:29 AMTwitter for Android
@NewYorkStateAG 👍. Hey @EPA - go fuck yourselves for permitting the use of this shit!
In reply to @NewYorkStateAG's tweet
Thursday, August 09, 2018 11:06:31 PMTwitter for Android
Why does the API return an exception when doing a get on the default APIM policy? Like what the fuck. But if I save an XML comment in the portal, then the GET returns properly. Fuckoutthea @Azure
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, August 07, 2018 12:17:12 AMTwitter Web Client
Microsoft's REST API to manage their Azure API Management service, is SO convoluted, even using Microsoft's powershell.

Fuckssake what a piece of shit.
Tuesday, August 07, 2018 12:15:37 AMTwitter Web Client
Hey @MetroNorth I'm visiting NY for one goddamn day and you're delayed. Cunts.

I moved away because your infrastructure is fucking garbage.
Friday, August 03, 2018 6:49:23 PMTwitter for Android
@andrewcuomo how are those $30 million blue and gold subway tiles doing? Helping service?

Welp, at least you told @Ask_Spectrum to go fuck themselves, ya got that going for you.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, July 30, 2018 2:37:09 AMTwitter for Android
Are these people fucking for real with this listing photo? Your house is garbage and your photo is garbage. What makes you think this shit will sell your house. Idiot https://t.co/mu7LK7iNaj Saturday, July 28, 2018 1:33:11 AMTwitter Web Client
This documentation FUCKING SUCKS

https://t.co/UGVnzfDqva
Friday, July 27, 2018 3:43:40 PMTwitter Web Client
For fucks sake...

https://t.co/wtd3PfYaye
Wednesday, July 25, 2018 3:39:42 AMTwitter for Android
This just caused me to cancel my new york trip you stupid fucks.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, July 24, 2018 10:20:37 AMTwitter Web Client
Hey @ups fuckers. If I live in Columbus and my package was in columbus at 3AM this morning, what the fuck is is doing in michigan https://t.co/WffWqDgtbK Tuesday, July 24, 2018 10:04:56 AMTwitter Web Client
Everyone's driving like fucking assholes rn Sunday, July 22, 2018 5:49:13 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus fucking Christ

https://t.co/qBgAmzGTvk
Tuesday, July 10, 2018 3:06:41 PMTwitter for Android
I just had a disaster recovery exercise go horribly wrong in production because Azure is a piece of shit to manage.

I have a raging headache, and now I have to explain this fucking shit. Gonna be a wonderful Monday.
Monday, July 09, 2018 2:24:59 AMTwitter Web Client
Hey @EPAScottPruitt! Go FUCK YOURSELF! Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out you crooked bastard

Go suffocate on greenhouse gases you idiot
Thursday, July 05, 2018 4:40:03 PMTwitter Web Client
What in the actual fuck did @googlechrome do to their UI in Canary? it literally looks like we went back in time 5 years to Firefox's UI Tuesday, June 26, 2018 1:28:53 PMTwitter Web Client
Everclear is playing a free show in Columbus. Art Alexakis fucks Friday, June 08, 2018 7:46:17 PMTwitter for Android
@RockNationRadio Rosanna, Meat Loaf, Phill Collins, Michael Bolton. Fuck outta hea
In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet
Sunday, May 20, 2018 12:42:08 AMTwitter for Android
How in the actual fuck does it take 40 minutes at dumpster fire LaGuardia to taxi to a runway to take off on. Friday, May 18, 2018 1:59:55 PMTwitter for Android
It's a common sense issue. It's a greedy evil isp trying to fuck over consumers issue. Not partisan shit. This country sux
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, May 17, 2018 4:41:02 PMTwitter for Android
While @AjitPaiFCC is a fuckup asshole, and I agree with a free and open internet, THIS SHOULD NOT BE A DEMOCRAT VS REPUBLICAN ISSUE https://t.co/XGgc9rwoLg Thursday, May 17, 2018 4:40:05 PMTwitter for Android
Hey @AjitPaiFCC: GO FUCK YORSELF
(Although it won't get past the house or ya boy Donnie). But you're still a fuckup asshole corporate shill

https://t.co/stTsYb1obm
Wednesday, May 16, 2018 4:22:07 PMTwitter for Android
Hardoooo Metro North conductor made this older lady take her feet off the seat even though she had her shoes off. And no fucks were given as she put them right back up after he left. Tuesday, May 15, 2018 10:13:59 PMTwitter for Android
Metro North car I'm in smells like a fuckin sewer. It's not even a bathroom car. Tuesday, May 15, 2018 7:40:35 AMTwitter for Android
Good. Fuckkk this guy. He should get the death penalty for this shit. I get 5 spoofed calls per day

https://t.co/244xsLO3V7
Friday, May 11, 2018 11:52:23 AMTwitter for Android
How dare you refer to all dogs as disorderly. Arizona Senator John Kavanaugh does NOT fuck: https://t.co/u6KKh5VLJy Saturday, May 05, 2018 10:52:13 AMTwitter for Android
Hey @AjitPaiFCC nice pick you fuckin crooked bastard. Resign.

https://t.co/D0opMnjwTX
Tuesday, April 17, 2018 8:36:22 AMTwitter for Android
The fuck is wrong with Netflix for cancelling Everything Sucks after one season? That show was SO good.

But there's two seasons of the absolute garbage show Haters Back Off with some YouTube moron. "Quality" original content.
Saturday, April 07, 2018 3:37:18 AMTwitter for Android
Hey @realDonaldTrump you stupid idiot. You suppisedly went to Wharton? Idk about you but DSB told me that international trade was important. Your trade wars are crashing all my stocks ya fuckin buffoon. Friday, April 06, 2018 6:13:02 PMTwitter for Android
With the exception of the food, this entire city can go fuck itself Friday, April 06, 2018 5:32:33 PMTwitter for Android
Makes me laugh when things say "unleaded fuel only." It's 2018, who the fuck puts lead in gas anymore Friday, April 06, 2018 5:02:23 PMTwitter for Android
#thefuckingsubway Wednesday, April 04, 2018 9:54:03 AMTwitter for Android
Why do morons shit in the stall right next to you when there's an open buffer stall available. #fuckssake Monday, April 02, 2018 12:48:04 PMTwitter for Android
Hey @realDonaldTrump, will you stop being a dumb motherfucker about foreign trade wars. You're making my stock crash you dipshit Saturday, March 24, 2018 12:21:52 AMTwitter for Android
These people are sick in the fuckin head and living in a fantasy world

https://t.co/ADCa0ScWQQ

This video is absolutely enraging and ignorant.
Friday, March 09, 2018 11:01:12 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin Walmart is on my shit list. Wednesday, March 07, 2018 12:50:06 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuck every single part of this story. I hope @AjitPaiFCC dies by firing squad. Fuck him and fuck the NRA. https://t.co/dd4j2Ksu2f Friday, February 23, 2018 10:59:15 PMTwitter for Android
Plus, he overshot its orbit. NASA doesn't fuck up. They sent New Horizons past Pluto. Elon Musk is amateur hour in space. Consult with actual rocket scientists, ya cocky bastard
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, February 07, 2018 6:25:39 PMTwitter Web Client
Is it just me, or is Elon Musk a cocky douche launching a Tesla into space? I mean it's a cool technological feat, but fuckssake, all that money could have helped elsewhere. Wednesday, February 07, 2018 2:26:28 AMTwitter for Android
Dumb motherfucker https://t.co/crI1Lz3ZK7 Monday, January 22, 2018 8:02:38 PMTwitter for Android
Dude fuck bourbon St. It's like fuckin times square. You gotta go to the dives. My boy Dave's here all the time Tuesday, January 02, 2018 11:13:31 PMTwitter for Android
Rihanna fucks Friday, December 29, 2017 3:54:42 PMTwitter for Android
Naw'lins motherfuckersssss Friday, December 29, 2017 2:21:22 PMTwitter for Android
@SteveScalise @AjitPaiFCC You're a fucking moron who doesn't know how the internet works
In reply to @SteveScalise's tweet
Friday, December 15, 2017 10:59:06 AMTwitter Web Client
Yo @BrendanCarrFCC you're a fucking moron too. Hate Obama much? Thursday, December 14, 2017 12:23:22 PMTwitter Web Client
hey @mikeofcc you fucking hack. What do you know about how the internet works. Shut your whore mouth Thursday, December 14, 2017 12:12:09 PMTwitter Web Client
Twitter banned me from naughty words and they can blow me. Fuck you @AjitPaiFCC https://t.co/UAB2cbfOwo Thursday, December 14, 2017 1:00:57 AMTwitter for Android
Pony just came on at the work party so players gon' fuck tonight Wednesday, December 13, 2017 8:40:35 PMTwitter for Android
Stop tweeting about stupid fucking sauce and go kill yourself. No one likes you, you miserable corporate shill. I hope a tree falls on you. https://t.co/4kYu54lWUv Wednesday, December 13, 2017 4:01:19 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: American Airlines can go fuck themselves for charging me $75 to check an empty carryon https://t.co/5vHhHOzFms Sunday, December 10, 2017 10:07:45 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
I kind of quit this twitter account, but I just wanted to point out this goofy, gopher-assed looking motherfucker. Die in a bus fire. https://t.co/PAjqu42g10 Monday, November 27, 2017 2:08:10 PMTwitter Web Client
I love how I'm a fuckin tech guy and all my technology sucks a cock Friday, September 15, 2017 1:35:42 AMTwitter Web Client
No charger I have actually works on my phone, so I've got a glorified fucking brick. You piece of shit Motorola cuntish piece of shit Friday, September 15, 2017 1:35:14 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm at this place Two Bits in Nashville and these tater tots fuck Thursday, September 14, 2017 4:46:47 PMTwitter for Android
@lenovo @MotorolaUS Way to update it too, assholes. Last security patch was 12/2016 and the OS is two years old. Fuck off
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, September 14, 2017 12:12:28 PMTwitter for Android
It's 9:35 PM and for fucks sake I already forgot to close my tab at the bar Thursday, September 07, 2017 9:39:44 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck @ATT and that sellout prick @AjitPaiFCC https://t.co/PIbTTHNnYg Thursday, August 31, 2017 2:29:07 AMTwitter for Android
These stupid fucking @VIZIO cunts only give you 15 minutes to enter the code to order a free remote. Mine fucking expired. Thursday, August 31, 2017 1:36:41 AMTwitter Web Client
@VIZIO Also, the amount of data Vizio collects on you is FUCKED up and they got fined for being deceptive cunts: https://t.co/zuj1gR2078
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, August 31, 2017 1:30:14 AMTwitter Web Client
@VIZIO They literally shipped a software update that requires a new remote. Are you fucking serious?
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, August 31, 2017 1:21:18 AMTwitter Web Client
@VIZIO Yo @VIZIO go fuck yourselves. You have some nerve for updating my firmware and changing the ENTIRE way my fucking TV works.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, August 31, 2017 1:19:45 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm about to go to war with the stupid fucks who made my tv, @VIZIO Thursday, August 31, 2017 1:18:09 AMTwitter Web Client
Have I told you guys that my life is dope and I do dope shit? Also, New England clam chowdahh fucks Saturday, August 19, 2017 3:35:23 PMTwitter for Android
Hey @moto @lenovo your inept assed Moto X 2015 can't even run the fuckin @Uber app without freezing. Cunts https://t.co/xDTZVM67Ga Saturday, August 19, 2017 12:16:28 AMTwitter for Android
Dude. I don't miss standing in this fuckin sewer waiting for a broken down metal box. Friday, August 18, 2017 12:17:30 AMTwitter for Android
Dude it's like hot as fuckin sac in this subway. It's like 108 in this Subway. Not used to this grime shit anymore Friday, August 18, 2017 12:15:02 AMTwitter for Android
Fuckin New York. My tab sucks cocks https://t.co/KCAg7khnbF Thursday, August 17, 2017 11:59:30 PMTwitter for Android
Philly cheesesteaks from Wood & Ales in NYC fuck Thursday, August 17, 2017 9:57:39 PMTwitter for Android
I don't give a fuck about Philly Technician Jamaal. Comcast sux. @AjitPaiFCC sucks, Philly sucks. Stop showing up as an ad in my timeline https://t.co/u81dKbJd95 Thursday, August 17, 2017 9:25:07 PMTwitter for Android
Mothafuckin El Gary with a bomb off the Little league Mets Thursday, August 17, 2017 7:23:37 PMTwitter for Android
Pretty plausible prediction from July 2016... The dumb motherfucker https://t.co/OerUsPZZOn Wednesday, August 16, 2017 10:03:17 AMTwitter for Android
Steel drums fuck Tuesday, August 15, 2017 10:02:40 PMTwitter for Android
Verizon LTE still sucks 12 cocks at Jones Beach. Fucks sake guys Tuesday, August 15, 2017 7:22:22 PMTwitter for Android
RT @BarstoolHubbs: Fuck OUTTA here with these Mets Yankees stat comparisons. Don't compare them to that disgusting/rat-smelling scum of a f… Monday, August 14, 2017 8:26:28 PMTwitter for Android
It's 8:53 am and I'm fuckin hammered right now. Fuckin Bob's moonshine... Saturday, August 12, 2017 8:54:01 AMTwitter for Android
Well shit... Now I'm hungover as fuck Saturday, August 12, 2017 8:37:59 AMTwitter for Android
I've never really done coke but I've got a guy passed out rn who said he's been on a 3 week coke bender. Liar. Get the fuck awake dude. Saturday, August 12, 2017 1:31:02 AMTwitter for Android
Goddamn it. It's 1:30 am and people are passed out already. It's a bachelor party. Stop being a buncha fuckin pussies Saturday, August 12, 2017 1:29:50 AMTwitter for Android
Gotta be kidding me with this invisible fucking unicode that caused all my shit to break this AM https://t.co/MIjaGfkxuO Thursday, August 10, 2017 12:01:11 PMTwitter Web Client
Santa Claus over here with the baseball bat cane... This guy fucks https://t.co/YCwJrB78Te Friday, August 04, 2017 6:15:51 PMTwitter for Android
I got woken up for server alerts every goddamn night of my on call this this week. This fucking piece of shit platform... Wednesday, August 02, 2017 2:32:51 AMTwitter for Android
Everything's a fucking disaster Wednesday, July 19, 2017 9:22:46 PMTwitter for Android
A+ move by the guy next to me who told the flight attendant to shut the fuck up under his breath when she was bitching about airplane mode. Sunday, July 16, 2017 7:39:47 PMTwitter for Android
@ehubbs13 El Gary fucks
In reply to @ehubbs13's tweet
Friday, July 14, 2017 9:58:57 PMTwitter for Android
The snap hotdog fucks Thursday, July 13, 2017 11:11:40 PMTwitter for Android
Get the actual fuck outta here. I'm gonna spend 800k for a shitty antique house on a small lot, only to rebuild it? This area stinks https://t.co/5MLkBFXmBj Wednesday, July 12, 2017 6:31:56 PMTwitter for Android
Let's go the fuck to the bahhhhhh Wednesday, July 12, 2017 4:05:28 PMTwitter for Android
.@AjitPaiFCC is a stupid fucking cunt trying to ruin the internet in favor of greedy ISPs. Eat a dick, sir Wednesday, July 12, 2017 10:45:58 AMTwitter Web Client
This entire government administration is a motherfuckin joke shop embarrassment to the world Tuesday, July 11, 2017 3:18:14 PMTwitter Web Client
This here fat fuck just ate a cheeseburger and one and a half sausage and peppers sandwiches. Sunday, July 02, 2017 9:02:54 PMTwitter for Android
The fuck does Girardi keep putting this idiot on the mound to blow games? Is he trying to lose on purpose? Tuesday, June 27, 2017 10:53:55 PMTwitter for Android
It's 2017. Fuck yourself if your inept WebEx conference requires me to dial in by phone and not use computer audio Tuesday, June 20, 2017 10:13:23 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin Chris Carter is useless. Strikes out 24/7, makes errors and gets CC injured Tuesday, June 13, 2017 11:28:50 PMTwitter for Android
Chris Carter get the fuck off my team Tuesday, June 13, 2017 11:18:31 PMTwitter for Android
Piece of shit immune system. I should not be on my second cough and cold in two months. Weak motherfucker. Saturday, June 10, 2017 10:10:59 PMTwitter for Android
Hey @Moto, the fuck is raking you so long to update the 2015 pure edition to Nougat. This joke brand beat you https://t.co/meMw44I3SH Saturday, June 03, 2017 3:12:02 PMTwitter for Android
My best friend said she used to fuck with Usher Thursday, June 01, 2017 11:36:00 PMTwitter for Android
Dan? Mothafuckin G. Danny? Passed out on the couch. Saturday, May 27, 2017 2:39:18 AMTwitter for Android
Fuckin iOS has no notion of a file system. How am I supposed to back up the video of me shirtless screaming temple of the dog from snapchat? Monday, May 22, 2017 1:15:32 PMTwitter Web Client
microsoft can go suck a fucking dick with MSMQ clustering and its horseshit management and permissions of it. garbage. Tuesday, May 16, 2017 6:06:32 PMTwitter Web Client
Nothing is fuckin working right now Tuesday, May 16, 2017 3:13:12 PMTwitter Web Client
Jesus Christ, Tanaka... You were 5-0 in your last 5 starts and you decide to fuck up Jeter's night? Sunday, May 14, 2017 7:54:26 PMTwitter for Android
Yo @Qualcomm... Why can't you fuckers make your yearly flagship chip better than last years Apple's processor? This is why Androids all suck https://t.co/UuFEwGYBkI Saturday, May 13, 2017 2:16:32 AMTwitter for Android
I fucking SUCK at beer pong holy christ Friday, May 12, 2017 7:36:12 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @ehubbs13: What a fucking win!! The Comeback Kids strike again!! It's Cinco de Mayo Friday after beating the WS champs Lets go OFF https… Friday, May 05, 2017 5:40:13 PMTwitter Web Client
the MSFT Distributed Transaction Coordinator is the most fucked up convoluted shit I've ever worked with in my life Friday, May 05, 2017 12:35:50 PMTwitter Web Client
Hey assholes at Motorola. Still don't have Nougat on my Pure Edition you fuckin slows. And I'm rocking 12/2016 security patches. Real secure Wednesday, May 03, 2017 6:04:48 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm sick as a fuckin dog and I blame filthy New York Friday, April 28, 2017 7:28:07 PMTwitter Web Client
These consultants are the dumbest fuckin engineers ever. Thursday, April 27, 2017 3:59:33 PMTwitter Web Client
I told an @AmericanAir pilot at departures that LaGuardia was a fuckin shithole for canceling my flight and he almost called security on me. https://t.co/X41uzc6FZ9 Saturday, April 22, 2017 4:11:41 AMTwitter for Android
"Waterfront hub with regional flights" is way to fancy of a description for this fuckin abomination @googlemaps https://t.co/mpLrq0t2C9 Saturday, April 22, 2017 3:57:25 AMTwitter for Android
New Yorks fuckin killin me. I should be sleeping in my tuft and needle bed until like noon but instead I'm at a fuckin bar in Williamsburg Saturday, April 22, 2017 2:01:18 AMTwitter for Android
I should be in Columbus by now but I'm in a smelly fucking cab in Queens with a prick driver Friday, April 21, 2017 9:37:18 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck this guy I was nice too and let use the train bathroom before me who's been in there for like 10 mins shitting already Wednesday, April 19, 2017 11:47:06 PMTwitter for Android
Let's hear it for Newww York. Concrete jungle where there's fuckin garbage all ooooverrrr. There's nothing you can't dooo https://t.co/tIZ014wglw Wednesday, April 19, 2017 11:21:49 PMTwitter for Android
Great. I'm in lower Manhattan and I have to go back to fuckin Westchester just to come back to lower manhattan in like 9 hours Wednesday, April 19, 2017 11:19:24 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking Motorola doesn't even have the decency to push 6.0.1 so I don't even get Unicode 8 emoji. I see boxes with X's in them Monday, April 17, 2017 1:46:42 AMTwitter for Android
And fuck you Motorola for not pushing Nougat yet. Keep me on this antique assed os. Monday, April 17, 2017 1:45:09 AMTwitter for Android
Been saying it for years. Samsung is fuckin garbage. https://t.co/vNHrnKJnpn Saturday, April 08, 2017 2:51:21 AMTwitter for Android
@BarstoolJJ @ACBeerFest This guy fucks
In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet
Saturday, April 01, 2017 11:56:53 PMTwitter for Android
only in fuckin eastchester do you have landscapers that uses 5 leaf blowers at a time. shut the fuck up outside. trying to sleep Saturday, April 01, 2017 3:46:01 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuck coal. idiot. https://t.co/XoWPezPYmN Friday, March 31, 2017 11:17:18 AMTwitter Web Client
Always a bad sign waking up on Vinny's couch not knowing what the actual fuck happened Thursday, March 30, 2017 8:08:25 AMTwitter Web Client
What the actual fuck happened last night? Thursday, March 30, 2017 8:03:34 AMTwitter Web Client
Would be nice if #thefuckingsubway didn't decide to park in between stations when I have another train to catch Monday, March 27, 2017 6:26:54 PMTwitter for Android
We've got a QA team that's testing code compiled from a deleted git branch. They have no fuckin idea what they're even testing. Ops prob tho Monday, March 27, 2017 12:26:25 PMTwitter Web Client
i'm losing all my motherfuckin money Monday, March 27, 2017 11:36:35 AMTwitter Web Client
Protip: "Ain't nobody don't like to fuck" Saturday, March 25, 2017 11:36:29 PMTwitter for Android
What's my motha fuckin name... R.U.L.E Saturday, March 25, 2017 1:41:50 AMTwitter for Android
Fucking LaGuardia.... Friday, March 24, 2017 1:35:06 PMTwitter for Android
buncha fuckin morons running this bitch. Merica Tuesday, March 21, 2017 9:31:43 AMTwitter Web Client
This is fucking stupid. So if the tablet/laptop is a timebomb, it'll be safer in the checked area than the cabin? https://t.co/2MUqILasvc Tuesday, March 21, 2017 9:31:27 AMTwitter Web Client
Fucking hate Samsung... Why can't they just implement Google Assistant? Ruining the stock Android experience
https://t.co/d3v9wdjJ5x
Monday, March 20, 2017 2:14:16 PMTwitter Web Client
There's starving people in Africa and my drunk ass just dumped 1/2 lb of pasta down the fuckin drain. Saturday, March 18, 2017 3:25:07 AMTwitter for Android
I just dumped a half fuckin pound if pasta down my garbage disposal. Bitch ass trick. Now I have to cook it all over again Saturday, March 18, 2017 3:22:42 AMTwitter for Android
Fuckin Time Warner/Charter Spectrum transition. Billin portal's broken af... The ONE invoice I need for my expense report is not available Wednesday, March 08, 2017 11:45:27 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm about to eat the fuck out of a Thurman's burger Tuesday, March 07, 2017 9:37:29 PMTwitter for Android
I've been mad for fucking years Monday, March 06, 2017 12:56:56 AMTwitter for Android
I just dropped my fucking phone flat on its fucking screen on concrete and now it doesn't work at all. It made it 1.5 years I guess Sunday, March 05, 2017 4:26:34 PMTwitter Web Client
The Google keyboard is another piece of shit. How do you auto correct fucking to "fucking king" https://t.co/2MkMsG1c0B Saturday, February 18, 2017 2:47:18 PMTwitter for Android
Just putting this out there... Android Auto is a fucking king piece of shit. I want to like it but it stinks. Saturday, February 18, 2017 2:45:45 PMTwitter for Android
Do your own fuckin maintenance next time. https://t.co/vTK9ZeYAtI Monday, February 13, 2017 11:03:53 AMTwitter Web Client
CTO just freaked the fuck out on me because I had our app offline during the entire PLANNED maintenance window and not just a part of it Monday, February 13, 2017 11:03:38 AMTwitter Web Client
Annmarie called/ video chatted me no less than 15 times in the past two days and it's driving me up a fuckin wall Thursday, February 09, 2017 8:07:14 PMTwitter for Android
Belichick: "Get your fuckin arm off me" Sunday, February 05, 2017 10:45:34 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin old people always holding up the line because they can't figure out credit card point of sales Sunday, February 05, 2017 5:06:53 PMTwitter for Android
Man... People really go fuckin hard at divorce parties Sunday, January 29, 2017 5:15:43 AMTwitter for Android
Fuckin waterfall https://t.co/Un06gVzfPM Sunday, January 29, 2017 3:52:54 AMTwitter for Android
GD it... Why are we playing g fuckin kings. Too.old for this shit. But not really Sunday, January 29, 2017 3:33:06 AMTwitter for Android
"I wanna make love in this club" == "I wanna fuck in a bar" Sunday, January 29, 2017 12:10:33 AMTwitter for Android
That's why I couldn't get in. There's a fuckin sword guarding the door https://t.co/Unggk0BzgG Saturday, January 28, 2017 10:22:04 PMTwitter for Android
This country's literally fucked by morons so I'm getting hammered and tweeting stupid shit for levity Saturday, January 28, 2017 8:52:59 PMTwitter for Android
I told this fucking cocksucker terminal c a d he goes to the shithole B which is all under construction. Friday, January 27, 2017 4:22:56 PMTwitter for Android
LaGuardia Airport is an inept fucking shithole. 20 minutes to get from one terminal to another in traffic because my Uber fucked up Friday, January 27, 2017 4:17:43 PMTwitter for Android
It's 4am. Have a presentation at 9. I'm burping fuckin Coronas and Freddy's place smells like strippers. Friday, January 27, 2017 4:03:00 AMTwitter for Android
Love how I come back to this shithole and only two motherfuckers come through. Need to reevaluate people Friday, January 27, 2017 1:04:32 AMTwitter for Android
I get that updates are important, but Jesus fuckin Christ @Microsoft , the way you force reboot is horseshit https://t.co/RkiYG05tHu Tuesday, January 24, 2017 7:30:28 PMTwitter for Android
The MTA sucks 12 cocks. https://t.co/mhEyUhdDf6 #thefuckingsubway

Do yourself a favor and leave this cess pool city
Tuesday, January 24, 2017 11:57:52 AMTwitter for Android
Office building needs to lower the fucking heat. It's a waste of energy and it's like 95 in here. Tuesday, January 24, 2017 9:42:06 AMTwitter Web Client
This dude is spot on: https://t.co/KNL85KD2U5

#thefuckingsubway
Sunday, January 22, 2017 11:27:15 PMTwitter Web Client
Oh fuck the cops Saturday, December 31, 2016 11:15:09 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin this is the problem when you've got bartender friends at an Irish place Tuesday, December 20, 2016 3:31:38 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm on a fucking rampage in this office. Not only is everyone an ignoramus, but fuckin crackheads can come up with better architecture Monday, December 19, 2016 3:29:25 PMTwitter Web Client
I don't understand how it's possible for people to be SO smelly first thing in the morning. Like fucking wash yourselves... Monday, December 19, 2016 12:10:00 PMTwitter Web Client
@thomaswood @NYGovCuomo New York is fucking stupid, and this is why I moved away. Shit infrastructure, and wasted money
In reply to @thomaswood's tweet
Monday, December 19, 2016 11:25:49 AMTwitter Web Client
Yo @reddit you fucking cocksucker. Spent 2 hours writing a post and no one told me checking this box would reload the page & lose everything https://t.co/yvoVrEp0J6 Monday, December 19, 2016 11:24:44 AMTwitter Web Client
@KFCBarstool fuck you Clancy. iPhones are for saps
In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet
Saturday, December 17, 2016 9:26:03 PMTwitter for Android
I'm efficient as fuck at work. Fuck off 90% of the time, yet still accomplish mad DevOps eliteness. More that other dumbs Friday, December 16, 2016 5:05:35 PMTwitter Web Client
What kind of moronic @NYCTSubway assholes decided to close an escalator at the GCT 4/5 during rush hour? Total clusterfuck #thefuckingsubway Thursday, December 15, 2016 6:42:17 PMTwitter for Android
This smelly motherfucker thinks I'm a greenhorn and is going down all the busiest streets when there's faster ways. Fucking hate cabbies Thursday, December 15, 2016 12:01:26 AMTwitter for Android
Cabbie smells like shit, as per usual. NYC is so fuckin savage and uncivilized. Absolutely vile city Wednesday, December 14, 2016 11:30:58 PMTwitter for Android
I only tweet a lot when I'm in NY because when I'm in NY everything fuckin pisses me off. Monday, December 12, 2016 4:41:33 PMTwitter Web Client

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